NO-MAS: Omos in NOAH

 

Team 2000X (Omos/Jack Morris) vs. Takashi Sugiura/Naomichi Marufuji NOAH 1/1/25

ER: Around Christmas, Tim told me that NOAH was bringing in Omos as a Nigerian Kaiju and wondered if I'd be interested in checking out how they handle a guy who's completely different than any NOAH wrestler in history. Omos has been in WWE for four years now and for whatever reason they are scared about using an Actual Giant in a wrestling match now. There are fewer Big Men in wrestling than ever before. Why!? It can't be the "quality" of the ring work, that doesn't make sense. I've seen plenty of fucking Xyon Quinn or Cora Jade matches. They can't care that much about people looking bad in a ring. 30% of their roster is made up of people with lifted asses and blown out knees working spots in half speed, but I guess a literal Giant moving at the speed of a Giant isn't something they can visualize working in Pro Wrestling. Pull the damn trigger on a guy who is 7'3 and Looks Cool. Omos looks cool. He's a Black Giant who looks cool. He's not Eli Cottonwood. He's not Shanky. Is it because he's the only black giant? Is that why they're so afraid, because he's the tallest black wrestler they've ever been around? Suddenly the tallest black wrestler in history comes along and can pull off facial hair and dress well, and they get too racist to understand what they have? He's the tallest black wrestler since Karl Malone and that means something.  

Now I don't think there are any guys on the NOAH roster I actually care about seeing against Omos - this is a far cry from MY NOAH of 20 years ago - but the idea still intrigued me. I don't know why they scared the Big Man away from pro wrestling but it fucking sucks, and now NOAH is courting one with the intention of making him a big attraction. Their first step in making him a big attraction? To have him do something he's never done before: Win the tag titles in his first match with the company. 

This tag was a fine way to debut Omos, even though it was nowhere close to as good as his debut 4 years ago. I thought Jack Morris and Marufuji looked awful. Morris had really bad stomps and clubbing shots, and is a real bland guy to pair with your new giant. As I was thinking about how bad most of Morris's offense was, Marufuji blazed out of the corner with a 5 hit combo that missed so badly I assumed was intentionally thrown as a 0 hit combo. I thought he was just backing Morris up with near misses like they were breaking into Low Ki vs. Red but then Morris took a big Sean Salmon bump and I had to rewind to see what had made him bump. 

I don't know how Marufuji came up through All Japan and has strikes that look this bad. He's in his mid-40s and has a fuckboi perm and I wish he had gotten the shit kicked out of him by Kanemaru and IZU or Makoto Hashi in 1998 because he blows. His work with Omos is really bad too. He has no idea how to work a giant and he's terrible at setting up spots. He throws a punch to be caught and he throws it like he was fighting AJ Styles. Omos has to deadlift him on a backdrop and Marufuji hops early on the double chokeslam. It means more symbolically that he easily pinned Marufuji on his first night in Japan but it would have been much better to pair him off for a big match with Sugiura. I like Sugiura and he knew exactly how to work Omos. He was also much better at doing something with Morris, burying knees in his stomach and leaning into Morris's one cool bump (one his shoulders taking a brainbuster off the middle buckle) and he knew he could actually throw some elbows at Omos for him to no sell. Sugiura's looks after Omos absorbed those elbows were well above the level of the same expected looks from any Performance Center alum. 

As for Omos, I don't think he did enough, and he needs to actually throws strikes. Sugiura can take a club to the back, dude. Marufuji's best moment was getting kicked off the buckles to the floor, and it was Omos's best moment too. He needs to swing harder and not be afraid to be a giant. Stan Hansen swung big and missed big. Swing to hit. Miss like a Giant. 

Tim Livingston: WWE has been sending talent to Pro Wrestling NOAH for two years now. That exchange has led to predictably blah stuff (outside of Mutoh becoming an Hall of Famer, an outright cool distinction), but it all pales in comparison to the most intriguing thing of all to come out of this relationship.

In an interview during their August excursion, Josh Briggs and Tavion Heights asked Mutoh and Marufuji who they thought would do well coming over from WWE to NOAH. Mutoh excitedly exclaimed OMOS, citing his love for big guys and later saying he could help make Omos a star attraction. The homogenization of outsider talent in Japan has led them to be so same-y and tryhard over the past several years. Being able to drop f-bombs and flip people off = cool in 2025, apparently. Someone like Omos being in Japan has a chance to make an actual impact if done correctly.

Lo and behold, Omos DID get announced for the NOAH New Year show, as the mystery partner of Jack Morris. No, not the fringe Hall of Fame pitcher; this guy is a Scottish pro wrestler, although now I wonder if Verne ever approached Jack about making an appearance at an AWA show at one point. They were even facing Marufuji and Sugiura for the GHC Heavyweight Tag Team Titles. I asked if Eric would want to check in one someone I know he likes and figured we'd follow his exploits for the green brand as long as he's there. Or, given he's still in the throes of his '97 WCW project, get his comparisons between OMOS and Ron Reis at the very least.


Omos immediately jumps off the page here, especially standing next to Morris, who is a bit generic. The wide shot of Omos walking down the aisle was a great production choice. You can see just how much he stands out in the arena, and it hammers home how a simple presentation can get so much across. Him staring down Wakamotoharu at ringside, a high-level sumo and big pro wrestling fan doing guest commentary, was downright mesmerizing given he hadn't even entered the ring and had already created a buzz.

The match layout could not have been better here: instead of teasing out his eventual tag into the match, Morris tags Omos in right away and the match becomes immediately intriguing. Omos rightfully comes into this match knowing he owns the two legends across from him in nearly every facet, even withstanding Sugi trying a few tricks and failing hard. Another great piece of production, inadvertent or not: Omos hits a corner avalanche and the impact is so strong it shakes the corner cam out of focus.

Omos' second control segment on Marufuji was even better. I love how Marufuji tried what Sugi tried only to eat even more shit. The Omos big boot knocking him off the buckles to the floor looked amazing; a prelude to him getting bieled back in right on his hip after being lifted off the floor by his cranium. Omos busts out the basketball shooting taunt, and it's one thing for someone like Carmelo Hayes to work basketball gimmicks into his stuff, but a 7'4" dude doing it just hits harder.

It should be pointed out Marufuji hits nothing but air on a strike combination "towards" Morris that was so hilarious it would lead any blooper reel. This is a guy who looked up to Misawa, came up in the All Japan dojo, and after nearly three decades can only really throw a chop with any authority, with two of those spent on top of a promotion. Boggles the mind.

The finishing stretch hammered home Omos as a difference maker and was tremendous. You get the splash from Morris standing on Omos' shoulders (with the low camera shot to sell the height Morris jumped from), the murdering of Sugi on the apron with a chokeslam, and then the double choke bomb to give Omos (and Morris, I guess) the belts.

Omos has roughly 200 matches under his belt, a majority of those being off TV, but this is as good as I've ever seen him look. There was meaning in every spot, his overall presentation was superb, everything he did was efficient and impactful. He wasn't hidden or limited in any way. In ten minutes, you learned everything you needed to know about what Omos can do while leaving plenty in the tank for the weeks and months to come. A great piece of business and a great start. 

Read more!

Matches from NOAH Mohammed Yone 25th Anniversary 10/18/20

 

Alexander Otsuka/Mohammed Yone vs. Akitoshi Saito/Masao Inoue

ER: It's 2020 and these boys have all beefed up to the degree that Akitoshi Saito might be the smallest man in the match. Otsuka especially needs to just sport Butcher singlets at this point. He looks like best possible Dana White. Inoue brings his failson charisma to this early, attacking Yone at the bell and having it immediately blow up in his face when Saito ducks out of the way of a clothesline that Inoue doesn't. So Inoue spends the next several moments taking legdrops and axe handles all while holding his stomach as if he just won a hot dog eating contest and his friends keep trying to hit his belly. The tone changes noticeably when Saito finally tags in, as Yone starts throwing big impact lariats to counter the heavy leather Saito comes in swinging. Saito/Otsuka is a dream pairing that's hardly happened, and we get only a taste here (ending with a great Otsuka German suplex). There's funny Inoue stuff, like Saito dropping Yone before tagging out and Inoue getting into the ring and stretching his back before just running and covering Yone. Inoue does some eye rakes, he and Saito run at Yone with some slow back elbows and lariats, and Inoue does more selling where it looks like he accidentally walked into a screen door. I was shocked to see Otsuka break out the giant swing on Inoue, but happy to see it. Everyone is a little sluggish here (they're old and meatier, it happens), but I laughed all throughout Inoue shaky legs falling to the mat every time Yone tried running at him. This is the kind of match that would have been a 2004 list match, but still makes me smile in 2020. 

PAS: This is more an Eric thing then a Phil thing. I am here to see Otsuka and we don't get enough of him to make it worth my time. I appreciate Inoue comedy, although conversely it works better in a more serious atmosphere then in a match with other people up for the yuks.  I thought Yone unable to hit a move on Inoue because Inoue is too old, but he is also too old to successfully execute a roll up, so it goes both ways.  

Daisuke Ikeda/Ikuto Hidaka/Mohammed Yone vs. Yuki Ishikawa/Naomichi Marufuji/Junji Tanaka

ER: This was great, and could have been even greater had it been worked more like a WAR or Kings Road or Futen trios. The ingredients were there but it doesn't take advantage of some of the built up drama and instead pays it off in more of a feelgood anniversary show finish than heat, but the highs are way way up there. We get this awesome surprising big babyface performance from Junji Tanaka all throughout this tag that really plays as the unexpected highlight, but the people you went in hoping to see perform, all performed. The Yone/Ishikawa opening was cool, with Yone coming in like an aggressive Batt guy and popping Ishikawa, leading to Ishikawa doing a cool sweep to cause Yone to miss a punt and slip, with Ishikawa going in for the kill with a Fujiwara. But once we get into Ikeda/Junji stretch the match really opens up into something special. Ikeda dishes out one of those cruel beatings he's known for, instantly turning Junji into a huge fighting babyface. It's a sadistic old dude punishing a tough but weaker old dude, and it came off like Kurisu kicking Mitsuo Momota's ass. Junji is out here in his mawashi, trying to put both cheeks into everything, and Ikeda would just punch, kick and lariat him back to the mat. It was feeling like the same kind of Kantaro Hoshino performance we'd see in those 80s New Japan elimination tags, all clearly building to Ishikawa and Marufuji absolutely wasting the guys across the ring from them. Ikeda's beat down on Junji goes on long enough that it gets uncomfortable, like those old AJPW beatings of Kikuchi, but I loved how Ikeda sold for all of Junji's little comebacks, including a nice headbutt and an elbow that puts Ikeda down on his butt, holding his eye. Finally Junji makes the hot tag, leading to a crowd wildly on his side as Marufuji charges in and Hidaka, Ikeda, and Yone all trip over themselves to bump wildly for this molten lava tag.

I'm just kidding, Marufuji completely tanks any of the actual built up heat, stood idly by watching his teammate get his body and limbs kicked in, and actively decides to turn this into a more standard Anniversary show main event. He just somberly strolls in, then proceeds to chop Hidaka in the corner for the next 4 minutes. Yeah, yeah, Hidaka's chest is raw and bright red when it's over, but it was literally Hidaka with his arms hooked over the top rope and Marufuji just throwing chops, slowly. It felt like more of a gym hazing than anything that would make an actual match interesting, and lo! When it comes to actual sequences, Marufuji isn't very interesting in those either. Hidaka has this evergreen goodwill with me just from showing up as a then unknown (to me) in ECW over 20 years ago. I always like when he shows up in something I'm watching, even though I wished he had worked more Batt and less juniors wrestling here.

The Ikeda/Ishikawa sequence is worth the price of admission. If you weren't as captivated by the Junji performance as I was, you're still guaranteed to love Ishikawa sharp elbows and hooking punches to the curve of Ikeda's jaw, and of course Ikeda's straight fully body right hands to Ishikawa's ailing face. A low key best moment of the match happens right after Ikeda decks Ishikawa: the camera cuts to Yone, standing on the apron with a huge grin on his face. It did not seem like the kind of grin Ikeda's partner would be flashing, instead it looked like the grin of a big fan. In that moment you really got the sense that Yone wanted Ishikawa and Ikeda in this match because he's a tremendous fan of their specific thing, and wanted the best seat in the house to view that thing. I can't blame him, as their exchanges here were as good as any of the dozens of great Ikeda/Ishikawa exchanges we've seen for decades. What amazes me most about their pairing is that there is no "home base". There isn't a comfortable set of spots that they can hit every time, branching off from those spots depending on how long they each want to solo. This is a new song every time, played in the same key, but totally different arrangement. You're going to get punches to the face, but there are never any sequences that are repeated in the same way. The greatest pairings in wrestling history (Santo vs. Casas, Rey vs. Psicosis, Flair vs. Steamboat) all have spots and elements in common with their prior matches. Ikeda and Ishikawa just go out there and play free jazz with it, every time, and I've never seen them sound like they're using different different Fake Books. 

PAS: This is a hard match to rank, as there is nothing in any of the matches on our MOTY list as bad as that Marufuji hot tag, not only the endless comedy spot chops but then the interpretive dance step superkick misses with Hidaka. Just dreadful. But there are also few things on our list as sublime as another redux of the horrific dance between Ikeda and Ishikawa. As disgusting and gorgeous as it always is, the punches and headbutts landing with that hollow sound you really only get with these guys. Yone and Ishikawa had a killer opening section, Tanaka gets massacred by Ikeda in a very Ikeda way, but we also had a finish based around a Junji Tanaka comedy spot. I dunno, color me confused.  Ikeda vs. Ishikawa is the best wrestling gets, and I think the highs are higher then the lows are lower. 

2020 MOTY MASTER LIST

Read more!

All Time MOTY Head to Head: Ishikawa v. Ikeda V. Captain's Fall NOAH

KENTA/Naomichi Marufuji/Kotaro Suzuki/Ricky Marvin vs. SUWA/Makoto Hashi/Takashi Sugiura/Yoshinobu Kanemaru NOAH 4/17/05

ER: Well, this stunk. And it stunk differently from the typical bad match stink, because this stunk AND lasted 50 minutes. That's just cruel. I remember really liking a few of these NOAH Captains Fall matches. This must not have been one of them. This match was all over the map, paced poorly, structured oddly, and just not very good. It was long. And I can't for the life of me understand why it took 50 minutes for them to accomplish what little they did. At minimum, it was a masterful SUWA performance. Everybody looked their best against SUWA, even when he had to wait eternities for Marufuji to set up his horrible offense. SUWA made some little things mean more, took offense like he and few others can (that dragon rana that Marvin pinned him with, yeesh), and just looked like a boss. Sugiura feels like a guy who got really overlooked during this era, and during his career, as I liked all of his contributions here. Whereas KENTA would be breaking up pinfalls with weak ass stomps, Sugiura would come blazing in with a vicious spear. All of his spears looked like the best version of any spear. Hashi really didn't blossom until a couple years later and peaked in FUTEN, but he still has some fun contributions, and he's a certified psycho for all of the damage he's no doubt doing to his body with those diving headbutts. But man that babyface team was junk. Marufuji is arguably the worst wrestler of the last 15 years that anyone thought was "good". He's terrible. He's super klutzy, his selling is out the window (watch him sell a brainbuster from Kanemaru by just standing up and slapping him in the side before getting the pin with a roll up) and his offense looks convoluted and weak. He's so, so terrible. KENTA looked slow and weak in a lot of this, with him finally getting inspired to throw some full force slaps in the midst of his awful combos and overly rehearsed junk. Marvin had some beautiful flash and I always liked him. His fast flip moonsault with his knees hitting face was amazing. Suzuki is a weird guy, as his offense always kind of blew, but he knew how to sell damage better than most of the other babyface juniors. Watch him lock on an octopus, get clonked by a Hashi headbutt, and then crumble to the mat out of his submission. There was also a lot of questionable reffing, as many times he would prevent the faces from making saves while the heels ran wild, and that never made sense. And right out of the gate the heels were the underdogs as Kanemaru got beat first. Who ever books a multi man match and has the heels outnumbered!?!? I am normally one to piss all over quick eliminations, but this really could have had 20 minutes lopped off and benefitted so much more. But I really, really disliked this.

PAS: I didn't mind this, it was way too long, there was about twenty minutes before the first elimination, and while there was some OK stuff, it really dragged. I also don't get the psychology of having KENTA and Marufuji v. Sugiura as the final guys in the match. Sugiura team was working the match as heels, so having the heel fail to fight off two blowjob babyfaces is odd, you didn't see Arn taken to the back, while Tully valiantly fought off Ricky and Robert. I am always happy to see SUWA and he was pretty great in this, SUWA was Toryuman trained so he had lots of experience working with pretty boy flyers, and every time he was in, his opponent looked awesome. He absolutely slaughters Suzuki with his John Woo dropkick, and the Ricky Marvin dragon rana was about the slickest I remember seeing.  I also really liked KENTA throwing shots with Hashi (who has a lifetime pass for me based on his FUTEN tag) and Sugiura. Enough good stuff in this, that I basically enjoyed it, although it isn't anything I would strongly recommend.

Ikeda v. Ishikawa review

Verdict:

PAS: I didn't hate this as much as Eric, but it doesn't even come close to Ishikawa v. Ikeda. This is a wire to wire win for FUTEN

ER: I thought this stunk. Killer SUWA performance, but no moment in this even came close to sniffing Ikeda/Ishikawa.

Read more!

New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 8 Workrate Report

1. Yujiro Takahashi vs. Tetsuya Naito (10/14/13)

Wow Naito is a really, really horrible pro wrestler. Not only does he just have no charisma to speak of, but he is just completely detached from what is happening within his own matches. He has no clue how to build a match, and he's not even one of these "execution" guys, who can execute moves they see in a video game, but have no idea how to tie them together. He's a guy who can't tie them together, and executes them really badly half the time. He also has the magic ability to make his offense look like soft pillow strikes. There was one super soft moment where he ran up Yujiro in the corner, swept his leg from the apron, then did a slingshot seated dropkick…and none of them came off like anything that would hurt a human. This match was bunk right from the jump as Yujiro jumps Naito and puts his leg in a chair to "Pillman-ize" him, and everybody in the ring handles it in hilariously bad fashion, with Yujiro taking forever to set it up, Naito just sitting in the ring not attempting to remove a chair from his leg nor making any expressions (not sure he's capable of this) that would seem like he was in danger. He just sat there, blank faced, waiting, the way you blankly stare ahead when a stranger is looking for a seat on the bus and you don't want it to be next to you. It all looked so bad and went on for so long that Josh Barnett even had to say that it didn't look like Naito was doing all he could to help himself. Then there's a bad exchange with Red Shoes trying to wrestle the chair away and literally two minutes into the match it felt like my evening was being wasted. Now I mentioned how bad Naito's offense usually looks, but at the same time Takahashi wasn't doing anything on his end to make it look good. Over the course of the match I liked a couple of Takahashi's deadlift Germans (I will pretty much always like a deadlift German) but man this was such a bad match. Naito brings absolutely nothing to the table. Except his "Polvo de Estrella" kneepad. Because I like to think it's a tribute to an exotico and not just the name of his bad Stardust Press. I'll change my opinion of him to positive if I ever see him wearing a May Flowers kneepad.

2. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Naomichi Marufuji (10/14/13)

The battle of my favorite NJ guy of the last decade and my least favorite NOAH guy of all time! And there was nothing in this match that threatened to move him up my all time NOAH worker rankings. He looked so, so bad in this. The kind of bad where you could not show this match to someone with virgin wrestling eyes, because they would have too many questions, like "what was that supposed to be?" "Why is that guy pretending to be hurt? Was that move supposed to have hit him?" "Which guy got hurt taking that move?" "Was that a move or did one guy decide to fall over when the other guy ran sorta close to him?" These were all questions that *I* had while watching this match, so I can only imagine how someone watching this with new eyes would feel. Marufuji has just a wild collection of implausible offense, with bad set-ups, bad execution, and so much stuff that I'm just not sure how it would hurt if it actually landed the way I think he wanted it to land. It's all thigh slaps and really bad missed strike dance fighting and a series of moves that see him take really dangerous bumps while he's doing offense, so that his bump looks way more painful than the move his opponent is taking. Marufuji tries working too fast for his own good, as he's not fluid enough to make quick exchanges look good. Nakamura tried his damnedest here, but damn Marufuji is just B-A-D bad.

By far the best thing was Suzuki challenging Nakamura post match. I do really love that they put the subtitles up over these promos. Guys like Rusher Kimura and Suzuki always cut promos that get tons of laughs from the crowd but I never had clue one what the heck they were saying.

This was a really horrible episode of wrestling television right here.

Read more!

NOAH 1/24, 1/26/03

1. Tsuyoshi Kikuchi/Kenta Kobashi vs. Yoshinari Ogawa/Mitsuharu Misawa:

This was during Ogawa's slimy greasy shitball punk phase, which was one of my favorite wrestler characters ever. Kikuchi looks roughed up before the match even starts, with a back brace, scratches, bandages on his wrist and arm, and grisly bruising on his neck. He looks like a rape victim extra on CSI. The match itself was a formula NOAH tag, which I took for granted at the time, but 10 years on seems so much better than most things we get now. Everybody here matches up nicely, and the Misawa/Kobashi sequences are really eye-opening. We've spent so many years watching shrimps in kickpads do these same sequences and falling badly on their faces, that when you see them done by the real deal, pre-crippled, powerful stars, it's pretty awesome. Just watching simple exchanges between the two is like two great guitarists taking turns every 8 bars, or like Jordan and Pippen running circles around people, or like how Mother Teresa must have been in her 30s. Ogawa was full on snivelly punk, trying to take Kobashi down with ineffective punches (which got no sold) and then always falling back on eye pokes, but then busting out a bunch of cool knee work (including a ring post figure 4 that bent Kobashi's knees at all sorts of horrible angles). This whole thing was just a real fun way to waste 20 minutes of your day, even if every single minute went exactly as you expected it would.

2. KENTA/Kenta Kobashi vs. Naomichi Marufuji/Mitsuharu Misawa:

This was not as good as that. Marufuji threw all sorts of thigh slap offense that didn't hit (including a couple kicks to the back of KENTA's head, but since they made zero contact KENTA didn't realize he was supposed to be selling) and KENTA took forever and a day to set up all sorts of convoluted offense that occasionally looked good. Misawa looked great in the match, and was doing all sorts of subtle heel things to try and lift up the match, and Kobashi chopping Marufuji over a rail was awesome, but overall Marufuji was just too lousy for this match to recover.

3. Jushin Liger/Koji Kanemoto vs. Tsuyoshi Kikuchi/Yoshinobu Kanemaru:

Liger is wearing his all red outfit and it looks totally badass. Kikuchi looks like he just got jumped into (or out of) a gang, then had to jog to the arena for his title match. This match is pretty darn terrific, and has the rep of being maybe the best NOAH juniors tag ever. I'll have to watch the others before I go that high, but this was a damn good time, and one of the greatest Kikuchi performances ever (them Liger and Kanemoto fellas ain't bad either). Kikuchi starts this thing off as fiery asskicker, but this match pretty quickly went right where you and I and everybody else knew it would go, and wanted it to go: Kanemoto and Liger taking all of the frustrations and anger out on Kikuchi's poor, poor scarred and battered body. Kikuchi makes the greatest "Fuck my life" facials in the biz, and Kanemoto just throws all sorts of brutal kicks at him. Kikuchi's little comebacks were all awesome, really coming off like a pro-style Yuki Ishikawa a lot of the time. He'd take a bunch of kicks, occasionally catch a leg, and then attempt to cave in Liger or Kanemoto's skull with a headbutt. Fans were way behind his fighting spirit and it really was impossible not to get behind him in this. Just a classic performance from a great wrestler. Liger looked insanely great throughout as well, busting out a nasty piledriver and an endless supply of great palm strikes. Kanemoto looked hungry and vicious, too. All three guys looked like top 20 in the world guys. This had the build, it had big moves, it had great nearfalls, just a super fun match. Yoshinobu Kanemaru also participated.

Read more!

Wrestling I've Enjoyed Recently (9 Months Ago Edition)

Whenever I talk with Phil I always feel like the most out-of-the-loop wrestling fan around. I love watching wrestling on DVD. DVDs have revolutionized tape trading. You used to buy a tape for $10-15, and now I can find people selling DVDs for $2 a pop. I can afford to keep up with every single promotion in the world at that rate. BUT, I don't love watching wrestling on a computer. I will watch if it is the ONLY way I will ever see a match (the amazing VIP lucha tag from a couple years ago, the Navarro/Terry match, etc.), but otherwise I'll just wait for the DVD.

PHIL, however, is the master of watching wrestling on a computer. He watches matches matches that have disappeared forever by the time he tells me about them the next day. "Oh man, it was fucking amazing." "Where can I see it!?" "Oh, it got taken down 7 minutes after I watched it. I doubt it'll ever be uploaded again." If we're talking music terms, then Phil is getting his hands on all the cool new 7"s from hip indie labels like Hozac or Captured Tracks or Woodsist before they go for ebay money, while I'm still listening to my Deep Blue Something cassingle on my Walkman.

So, yeah, I watch wrestling way late, on DVD, like a loser. Here are some matches I watched recently that I really enjoyed, that took place 9 months ago.

1. Bronco/Romano Garcia vs. Danny Boy/Flecha (El Toreo, 12/3/08)

Going into this I didn't know Bronco, loved Garcia but didn't realize he was still even making tape (Mr. Condor/Diabolicos, along with Apache and Pimpi, were one of the only bright spots on early 2000s Galavision AAA TV), didn't know Danny Boy, and knew Flecha was Skayde. Didn't have tons of hope for it but I love old guy lucha so figured it would be OK.

It was awesome. Romando Garcia is a total monster here. He's a little greyer up top, but he's as sneaky and bastard-y as ever. He just makes Danny Boy (who has the appearance of an older, hispanic Joey Maggs) his target the whole match and is just ruthless. Just kicking him in the balls, beating him with nasty chairshots, and in one of the greatest things I've ever seen in wrestling, Garcia grabs an empty beer bottle from a ringside vendor, breaks it on the ring post, and goes after poor Danny Boy with it!! Garcia is a marvel here, one of the ultimate heel performances I've ever witnessed.

Danny Boy bleeds like a champ and plays a really great sympathetic technico. Really interested in all their other meetings this year (two of which I have on my old fashioned Digital Video Diskz), so look forward to watching those some time in 2011.

2. Sami Callihan vs. Trik Davis (IWA-MS, 12/5/08)

These guys matched up a couple times in '08, but THIS was the singles match to watch from them. This is one of my favorite indie workrate singles I've ever seen. Trik Davis is so great here it really makes me think I should've had Trik over Sami, and Sami just got more showcase matches against cool opponents (Trik didn't get the Scorpio or Ian singles matches). Trik makes Sami's offense look better than I've ever seen it look before. Trik just leans into EVERYthing and both guys really deserve some kind of weirdo standing ovation for giving and taking such nasty beatings in front of like 35 people. The way Trik takes Sami's finisher on the floor is just totally painful, and it was on a side of the ring that had like 6 people sitting on it. Sami doesn't really know how to play to the crowd very well and project, he just kinda does his Billy Idol sneer and that's it. Trik is getting really good with his facials and plays to the crowd well and it really ties the match up. This is a great match, well worth going out of your way to see. PLUS, Fannin points out that Trik came out to the Fall Guy theme song , which may be appropriate. Trik still doesn't get much credit as a great worker, just because he looks like Big Pete Wrigley. So even though he might fall from a tall building, or roll a brand new car, he's still the unknown stunt man, that in this match made Sami Callihan such a star (I still have my Fall Guy lunch box up on my living room shelf).

3. Grits N Gravy vs. Ian Rotten/Mickie Knuckles (IWA-MS, 12/6/08)

This was part of the IWA-MS Candido Cup tag tourney. Grits N Gravy is Sami Callihan and Michael Elgin. You're all familiar with Ian, Mickie, and Callihan, and Elgin is a big doughy squishy dude squeezed uncomfortably into a singlet, who hits REALLY hard.

Ian is the standout here, and he's just awesome. He looks like my old elementary school classmate Nathan Hoffman, who would kinda do anything just to get attention (and had a baby blue Member's Only jacket with a spot on the left breast pocket so you can put I.D., so Nathan sloppily wrote "Nathan" on a piece of torn lined paper and put it in there). I usually don't get too excited for bullshit in wrestling. I have to be in the right mood for it. But Ian's bullshit? I could watch that all day. The dude is always on and people could gain a lot by watching his tag work. The dude is just always on. His apron work here is fantastic, his stuff on the mat is cool, there's a great spot on the floor where he dishes out some classic "Smothers-Fu" to Elgin, and when Sami wanders over to save Ian delivers a mule kick to the balls. Just watching the guy waddle around and somehow be awesome is such a treat.

Mickie Knuckles genuinely scares me. I like watching her wrestle, and like seeing her come in and headbutt her brain cells away, but she scares me. She really has a kind of reckless way about her -- not in a sloppy way, but in a I-don't-care-if-I-die way -- that makes her really intriguing.

Real fun tag match with four people who hit hard and get hit hard.

4. Takeshi Rikio/Naomichi Marufuji/Mohammed Yone vs. Yoshihiro Takayama/Takuma Sano/Ricky Marvin (NOAH, 12/7/08)

I am such a sucker for NOAH six mans. Throw six guys with seemingly little connection to each other, one side acts like heels, the other acts like faces, somehow all six guys end up looking awesome. I have no idea how this happens. Marufuji consistently looked like the worst guy in everything he was in the last two years, and he was great here! And remember when Ricky Marvin was the best wrestler in the world!? Well he looked like those days were upon us NOW. All his stuff looked good and he did a rope-walk dropkick that I had to rewind a few times. Yone is really big now and he has his fro back. The only guys larger than him in the match were Rikio and Takayama, and man he packs a wallop. This had all the shit you know and love about NOAH. Dudes getting thrown into guardrails a bunch, dudes setting up spots where they run all the way across the building to clothesline a guy, stiff strikes, hott stand-offs, everybody wins. I love NOAH six mans.

5. Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima (NOAH, 12/7/08)

This was the first time I enjoyed a singles match with Nakajima. I've enjoyed a good amount of tags where he's in with heavyweights that just beat him up and all he has to do is get beaten up and throw some big kicks. But this was a good Nakajima singles match. Misawa is fat, grumpy, and in no mood to get kicked by some punk. Misawa's elbows are truly insane. They're like an Anderson Silva back-peddling jab: He doesn't look like he's throwing them that hard, but when they connect, they just might dislocate your jaw. Misawa hits all sorts of elbow combos and Nakajima reddens his chest, and the match ends when it should end.

6. Yoshinobu Kanemaru/Kotaro Suzuki vs. KENTA/Taiji Ishimori (NOAH, 12/7/08)

There are gonna be a hundred of these matches this year that I can't stand, filled with wasted big moves and dudes popping up doing the jacking two dudes off fighting spirit fist pumps. But I dug this one. KENTA plays a great face-in-peril and Kanemaru/Suzuki are really good at cutting off the ring. The first 10-15 are classic southern tag, and by the time we get to the big spots they're all really fun and well strung together, making good use of saves to avoid too many pointless kickouts. This was real fun and I seriously doubt I'm going to enjoy a juniors tag this year as much as this one...but like a sucker I'll still watch them.

Read more!

ROH Driven PPV review

Resilience v No Remorse Corps:

TKG: I dug this a bunch I'm always a fan of the spotfest as opener format. This was filled with guys who I actively don't like and for some reason they kept on matching up Romero and Cross which didn't help to hide either of their flaws. But the advantage of this type of quick multiperson spotfest was it got guys in and out quickly. Guys hit their spots and then get out of the way, guys who are tempted to work, everything is even, matches are forced to work man down and sell for the two on ones,etc. Davey Richards was perfectly fine in this and both Delirious and Erick Stevens delivered. Roderick Strong who is normally the best guy on his team looked really really off for large chunks of this. But even with the an off Strong and the pairing of Romero/Cross this was a format that meant none of that really hurt the match. Post match-Austin Aries does some babyface mic work and they need to get a real sound-man for these shows.

PAS: Yeah Strong looked actively terrible here, which is kind of weird. He blew a missed clothesline by actually clotheslining the guy, which is actually kind of unique. I liked this way more then I thought I would considering how much I dislike most of the guys in it. Stevens especially looked really good, in a type of match that isn't really his thing. I think they should have shaved off a minute or two at the end, as they had a two count or two too many.

Claudio Castagnoli v Matt Sydal

TKG: This had some spectacular spots, Castagnoli takes the Chris Hamerick/Fuerza bump, and Sydal eats a giant swing better than I've ever seen anyone eat a giant swing as his face goes through multiple guy trying to hold down his lunch on a roller coaster variations. But this was disappointing. Both guys are guys who can work multiple speeds. Guys who can move from fast to slow to concentrated fast to medium, etc. Both guys can do and sell for nice mat work, both guys know how to do and sell for good brawling strike sections. Both are guys who can work face and heel and here instead they worked just super match up and those are completely forgettable outside the spots. Part of the format of starting show with fast 6 man spotfest is that you slowly move away from that opening speed. Second match at same speed as first means they start to run together.

PAS: I had similar problems with this as Tom. This really could have used some face/heel structure, so it would be something besides just spot after spot. Still I guess for the post match angle to work, this needs to be worked as a scientific face v. face match. I would rather see Bret Hart as a face working Buzz Sawyer as a heel, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy them exchanging gut wrench takedowns in their Georgia match. I guess intricate headscissors are the 2007 version of gut wrench takedowns.

TKG: Post match Larry Sweeney does mic work to sign Sydal up for a contract and I really liked the almost parallelism of Austin Aries signing contract to Ring of Honor-this place that values and respects the wrestlers and the fans, while heel Sydal signs contract with Sweeney who represents lack of respect and sportsmanship. Larry Sweeney has never facially looked or sounded as much like Christopher Love.

Naomichi Marifuji v BJ Whitmer-

TKG: Lenny Leonard tells me all about the backstory of Marifuji and how he has held every title in NOAH including the "prestigious" GHC belt and he tells me Whitmer's backstory and then he announces "this will be a very even matchup". Really? They are going to run an even match-up between the guy they are putting over as a GHC title holder and the guy who is working a PPV loosing streak leading to joining an Adam Pierce stable.??? I guess working 50/50 opposite former GHC title holder is better than last PPV where Whitmer took 60 against current ROH title holder. Still this was shitty and the half that Whitmer was in control for was ugly and the half where Whitmer was eating stuff wasn't a ton better. This was worked really even and started fine but quickly went to shit. They did lots of bad looking strike exchanges which only reminded me of how much the last match could have used some strike exchanges.

PAS: I didn't hate this as much as I hated either guys previous PPV match, but that is damning with pretty faint praise. Whitmer is a guy who is clearly someone who started tape trading about 1998, I bet I sold him a Schneider Comp at some point. He jumps between 1998 Big Japan bumps, and 1998 All Japan suplex exchanges. He doesn't do either particularly well, but his channeling of a 1998 Kobashi v. Akyama match is the shittier of the two. Marifuji was probably a ring boy at that point so he can run through a shitty approximation of one of those matches. Also Marifuhji has some goofy fucking offense, less like he is channelling Misawa and more like channeling Cheech and or Cloudy. There is a point where Whitmer crotches himself on the top rope, where he actually crotched himself before Marifuji made contact with the ropes. One of the problems with both PPV's so far has been that all the matches are too similar, they don't break up the high impact stuff with mat based matches or comedy matches. I guess your poorly executed Whitmer match is in the spot on the card where Colt Cabana v. Kikutaro used to go.

Pelle Primau v. Brent Albright

PAS: I like the idea of introducing someone new by having them brutal squash a jobber, it is basically how they introduced Steen and Generico on the last PPV, and it works well here too. Albright is a shitty guy to showcase, as he looks like Joey Fatone with an HGH belly, but this is a fine way to showcase him.

TKG: Yeah this was fine. Primau eats stuff well and Albright hit his stuff well. They should have worked the Whitmer v Morishima match more like this. This was also helped by just being the only uneven match on the show thus far and just being paced differently from everything else on the show.

Briscoes v. Kevin Steen/El Generico

PAS: I liked this better then the Briscoes match on the last PPV, as Kevin Steen is really good at working heel, and you do want to see him get his pasty face kicked in. The match meandered a bit in the beginning, as Generico worked face in peril, which he isn't very good at, and he wasn't a face. Still when they got kicking with their Briscoes finish it was something to see. Jay's Cactus clothesline was awesome, and the beel into the chairs was a great street fight execution of a signature spot. Jay should really stop using the press slam DVD as a set up move, but I liked this a bunch and it makes me want to see all of their garbage match rematches.

TKG: Yeah this was the best thing on the show thus far. It had the face/heel dynamic that was missing from the last PPV tag match. Had less Marc insanity though. Being paced like everything else made it not stand out as much as it should have but it was fun crazy tag with nice hateful crowd brawling. Generico as faceish member of his tag team working heel in peril didn't work to well for me either but Generico looked pretty great in everything else he did. It really feels like he needs to go the Jimmy Jacobs route and move on in terms of gimmick. This type of match can feel like it has excessive near falls or goes, this didn't. Outside of the press slam DVD for two that set up the finisher, this really felt like it ended right where it should end.

TKG: I liked both the backstage Sweeney and Adam Pearce promos, both a lot better than their promos from last PPV.

PAS: Adam Pearce's Kevin Sullivan stuff doesn't work with his black button up shirt and blue jeans. He needs a robe or something. It doesn't work with a guy dressed like a middle manager at a sports bar.

Takeshi Morishima v. Jimmy Rave

PAS: I don't like the Morishima 3 minute squash, where opponent still gets all of his signature offense in, match formula at all. Still Rave takes crazy bumps on the clothesline and backdrop so this was better then the Whitmer match. Still it is a dumb formula.

TKG: It should also be said that Rave's spear and other offense looks alot nastier than Whitmer's offense. Bad formula, but like the Albright squash, this still felt different enough to other matches that it was satisfying.

Bryan Danielson v. Nigel McGuiness

PAS: Man alive, this is how you end a PPV. These guys have a real formula worked out with each other, and it is really great to see how they adjust that formula in their different matches. I loved all of the opening matwork, all of the stuff with Nigel in the guard, and Danielson digging his knuckles into the temple was spectacular, I loved how they did the MMA spots, but made them pro-wrestlingy. I thought the selling in this match was actually pretty top shelf. Nigel often works restarts into his big matches, but here he kind of did mini-restarts throughout the match, toughing his way through moves he normally does easier. The fighting into the Tower of London was especially awesome. This match really felt like it was the stylistic offspring of all of those Regal v. Benoit matches, like this was the main event match those two never got to have with each other. Of course it is hard to watch both of these guys slam their heads into each other until they bleed without thinking about ghosts. Still great art is often tinged with tragedy, and this is the best piece of wrestling art this year.

TKG: Yeah this was pretty spectacular. And this is what you watch ROH for. So I complained earlier about everything on this PPV being worked at same pace. Instead of starting with a hot multiperson spotfest opener, slowing down to a technical match, then doing a brawl followed by a comedy match, followed by your big hard hitting main event...they instead ran with lots of even stuff, worked all at the same breakneck level and a couple squashes. And I could see there being a market of people who were upset that TNA didn't just build around the X-division but that market isn't me. This is what I want to see and I imagine that people who enjoy the other stuff on the show should enjoy this too. There were parts of the main which were really Regal v Benoitish and parts which were really about All Japan cumulative selling. For a match to determine who gets to challenge for the title it really was worked like a title match. The previous two Nigel v Danielson matches were worked essentially with Danielson as the man and Nigel as challenger to the man. Danielson had the title then. Here Danielson doesn't have the title and its not quite that you feel like he's the guy challenging, but the dynamic is completely changed. Here he isn't guy fighting to protect and hold onto his title, instead he is guy who has to take the title shot away from Nigel. The match moves really nicely from mat section to hard hitting section to throw section to dives into brawling section to your post-back dropped on guard rail back selling stretch to final strikes finish. The match never really feels broken up as you don't have a sense that you are in one section as it just it all flows from one to the other as both guys sell the cumulative punishment as they try to win. Great main event and it feels like this PPV top to bottom is probably a much better advertisement for ROH than the last one. I think even if your only exposure to Morishima was from these PPVs, you'd leave this one excited about Morishima v Danielson. So not only a good advertisement for their other product but also good advertisement for next PPV.

Read more!