WWE Fastlane 2016 Live-ish Blog

1. 2/3 Falls: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

ER: Wow, the U.S. Title match is on the pre-show?? The main card is filled with such important stuff that the 2/3 falls match just can't squeeze in. That must mean the main card is stacked, right? I really haven't loved how these two have matched up in their previous 19 matches over the last month, but it's possible they'll turn it on when the lights are at their brightest (which is the pre-show of the PPV wedged in between their two important PPVs). But guess what, this completely rules. ADR went after the arm at the bell, Kalisto countered with leg kicks and tried to game him with fast roll-ups, and then ADR awesomely ended the 1st fall by braining Kalisto with a chair after taking a rana into the timekeeper's stall. I loved the psych, like Rude/Steamboat iron man of taking a step back to take a few forward. Right after getting DQ'd ADR just pounced on him and starting tossing him into every barrier, really punishing him before getting the inevitable 2nd fall. ADR hits his double stomp off the barrier into the ground and it looked really good, just stomping right through Kalisto. But Kalisto's little hope spots and headscissors were nice, loved ADR flinging himself into the mat on the short rana, loved him getting spiked on a tornado DDT, loved the snap on ADR's spinning backbreaker, loved little things like Kalisto able to roll to the floor to avoid potential pinfalls, just really thought they clicked in a way that I think has been missing from all of their many prior matches. Finish was cool with ADR setting up Kalisto for the stomp and Kalisto fighting back while on the buckles. It would have looked too ADR just lifting himself into the move) so I loved the direction they took, with him doing a lucha head drag to toss ADR into the buckles and then getting that flash pin he had been trying for early. Really fun stuff here.

2. Sasha Banks & Becky Lynch vs. Naomi & Tamina

ER: Wow Tamina is still really bad. How long has she been on the roster? 5 years? Stunned her last name has allowed her to last this long while still looking this terrible. Watch her whiff on a lariat, then admire her limp chinlock, then admire her awkwardly dragging Lynch away from the ropes to pin her even though Lynch wasn't near the ropes. You also are not shocked that she punches worse than Michael Shane. Everybody else looked really good though, but damn Tamina was in so much of this. Lynch takes a wild bump to the floor, really launching herself off a Tamina throw. I loved how they filmed Lynch trying to tag in Sasha, as at first it looked like Sasha jumped out of the way of the tag, before they revealed that Naomi had yanked her down. Loved the Sasha/Naomi segment as Naomi was great feeding Sasha, and they set up the Rear View perfectly with Sasha chasing Tamina around and back into the ring while Naomi laid in wait. Tamina for her part even hit a nice superkick down the stretch, so even she wasn't an entire waste. I really liked this, thought the ladies who normally looked good, looked good.

3. Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: Ziggler's hair immediately makes me want to watch him take a stomping. Man what an asshole. Half-mast cornrows. Wow. Either go all the way and have tons of beads, or just turn heel already. This haircut would be majestic on a heel. Imagine Rush showing up at Arena Mexico with this haircut. It would be amazing. But a guy I'm supposed to be backing? Ehhhhhh. Owens does politely grant me my wish right out of the gate, by ambushing Ziggler with a thrust headbutt and commencing the beating. I dig all of Owens' sentons, with that one to a on-all-fours Ziggler being especially mean. Both guys see who can take a bump into the buckles better, and it's a tough call between Ziggler violently running shoulder first into it (looked so painful in slo-mo) or Owens flying into the post and crashing to the floor. Ziggler's comeback is hot and his jumping elbows looked so good. We eventually break down into big moves nearfall territory, but I actually kept digging it the whole way through. Ziggler's HBK tribute act is confusing and strange. But all their shit looked good, and even though Owens seems to have taken some shit online lately I thought he was good here. Crazy that his twisting superplex is not a finisher, but I loved him scrambling behind the ref to dodge the superkick,  dug the rana into the ring steps, loved Owens mocking a fan's "Ohio Hearts Ziggler" sign and ripping it out of his hands postmatch. Yeah this mostly devolved into overkill, but it never really bugged me. Sometimes overkill immediately makes me zone out, and other times it doesn't. I am an inconsistent, infuriating human being. But I liked this. 

4. The Wyatt Family vs. Big Show, Ryback & Kane

ER: If Kane has to be around, I'd rather have him lumped in a 6 man. And Ryback with a nice missile dropkick. That looked really cool. I liked Harper/Ryback (those Harper palm strikes!!!), actually liked Ryback/Braun as Braun looks dangerous in a slightly untrained way, but still threw some really nice kicks to the stomach....but then Kane/Rowan look several miles off during their exchanges. And I just noticed Saxton is just standing there behind the announce desk. What a shithead. There are no other chairs we can get this guy? Is this one of those jackoff punishments because Saxton took the large piece of chicken breast from catering? Ryback's "Big Guy" tights are really embarrassing. That's like something you'd see on a dog sweater, or a newborn baby onesie, or something you'd wear to leather night at the White Swallow. Rowan has the pinfall break-up of the night with a massive splash out of nowhere to crush Ryback, and Big Show does a killer press slam on Harper to the floor. Love press slams and that one was huge. Love Show's running shoulder tackle on Braun too. Even Kane looked good booting Bray, who went down like a shot. Holy shit this got good right before it ended. This is a really fun night of wrestling so far.

ER: What in the hell is this Vince MacMahon Legacy Award for Ultimate Big Dick Excellence nonsense? This can't be legit, right? Is it just something for HHH and Steph to trade wins on every year? I can picture JBL now "Mahgul you're looking at the 7 time Vince MacMahon Excellence of the Universe Award winner, the Game!!"

ER: Wow the WWE Photoshop department deserves HUGE credit for making Ric Flair look like a human being in the Charlotte/Brie pre-match graphic. I mean holy shit they made him look like a god! This is beyond blending in Shawn Michaels' hair tuft, they straight gave Flair an actual person face. You see him in the hype video and his face is a bloated, stretched, toothy plastic surgery mess. But in that graphic he's got warm steely eyes, a strong jaw, actual facial definition, lush and short fashionable haircut instead of that patchy constantly wet and slick mess he's been working with for many years. Good work team, all around.

5. Brie Bella vs. Charlotte

ER: Really getting sick of Ric at ringside for every Charlotte match. It's not doing her any favors at this point. Match was better than I expected it to be. Slow pace is probably the best to avoid anything blown, though even then both of them had some sketchy moments. I liked the Alabama Slam spot with Brie hanging on through a couple attempts, and the end run got good with that nice Brie dropkick to Charlotte on the apron. Dug the Yes Lock rolled into a really sick single leg crab. Submissions in Divas matches always look so killer because they're so bendy, but I thought they made it look good. I have a feeling Charlotte will be champion for fucking ever and I'm in for a lifetime of "RESPECT HER CHAMPION BLOOD" JBL horseshit.

6. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles

ER: Man Byron Saxton is the worst, and that's with Michael Cole and JBL plopped around you. Oh yeah, Styles grew up admiring Jericho's Japan work? What Japan stuff is that Byron? I do like that they're pushing Styles as a teenager who tape traded for WAR tapes. If at any point your booking of any wrestler is to make them sound like teenage me, it means you fucked up. "Styles used to love tape trading and practicing the trombone and going over baseball stats on his bedroom floor!" And I'm not really sure how I feel about this match. Half of it felt like AJ slowing down his shit so Jericho could keep up. But sometimes Jericho's rustiness clicked with what Styles was doing. I loved Jericho's super quick bump over the turnbuckles to the floor, and then him catching Styles with a dropkick off a plancha right after was good enough to hold up in slo-mo. But then there was flat out painful stuff like Styles setting up the springboard spot for endless seconds as Jericho got in position, or Jericho kinda just falling off the ropes to do the Walls counter. We hilariously have the Styles Clash kicked out of, in what is like Styles third match in the company. If he kicked out of it, at least the match ended right after with the calf crusher, as I can buy using the last of your strength to kick out and having nothing left to defend the sub. Jericho on TV just doesn't work for me though. I really like old man workers, as there's this extra level of sympathy with them just being older and slower and more frail, and extra excitement when they make their comebacks. They're just easier to get behind. But Jericho doesn't work as sympathetic old man, he still works like move for move workrate star, except he's slow and sloppy. His whole thing just doesn't work for me.

ER: I saw an ad for the Edge/Christian show earlier in the program and in 20 seconds they managed to make me cringe twice with Edge comedy, so this New Day/E&C segment gets a no brainer fast forward from me. I think Christian has some comedy chops, but Edge is about as broad of a hack as you can get.

7. R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

ER: Wow. This is on a PPV. 2/3 Falls match for the US Title? Oh that's on the pre-show. I mean, there's no real difference anymore between pre-show and PPV, except I'm still far more people still watch the PPV's and skip over the pre-shows. Maybe they're trying to get people to watch pre-shows, so they're putting title matches on there now? I don't know. Gotta advance those dead hour Raw angles I guess.

8. Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: Well hot damn this was all hot damn. Wow. No bullshit, all mammoth spots and ass beating, really well laid out, just a great match. Brock is just the best. I could watch him murder dudes all damn day. Like just start up a Suplex City channel on the Network and post everything Brock has ever done, and I'm there. But the crazy thing about Brock just throwing dudes, is that Brock TAKING moves is maybe even better! I love how naturally he takes offense, how it's not just rapid fire flat back bumps, it's like a level of Kawada selling. When he gets blasted with the superman punch he just staggers back fast, drops quick spaghetti legged to a knee, rolls down to the floor. It's so much more layered than most selling, really shows how he fully understands who he is relative to his opponents. Watch him get speared by Reigns whole holding Ambrose and be impressed by him having the presence of mind to get speared, while tossing Ambrose's body PAST Reigns, instead of dangerous dropping him on Reigns' back and legs. Looked great AND was deceptively safe. The "Brock gets taken out" moments of his big matches are always big time, and I loved him getting plastered through a table and covered in the wreckage. It's a shame we usually don't get the visual of the monster emerging and roaring out of the collapsed building, but I like the surprise emergence of Brock no matter how it's shown. I liked the immediacy of Ambrose and Reigns once they had the monster buried, and I love how into Ambrose the crowd was. Ambrose going big time on everybody with a chair was great, and some of those chairshots looked gnarly. I was really hoping that Ambrose was just going to continue crushing everybody with chairshots until nobody had a chance of kicking out, but the finish still worked even if it created a match I have zero interest in seeing. But damn was this match every single thing I was hoping it would be. So damn good.


ER: Really fun show overall. I don't think I've enjoyed a WWE PPV more than this since we started doing live blogs for them. They always seem to end with BS finishes or just be plagued with bad matches, but I enjoyed almost all of the matches on this one, and fast forwarded through what I'm sure was a terrible comedy segment, and I was left overall feeling super glad I watched it. Really good show.

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WWE Battleground 2015 Live(ish) Blog

ER: So even if the shows aren't always good, the live blogs are always fun. They break me out of my usual writing style of watching something and then writing about it from memory, more thoughts as the show is happening and I haven't had time to process things fully. So in that regard even a bleh show can be fun for me. I truthfully have watched minimal WWE TV since the last PPV. There is a lot of stuff I've missed, and I don't really know current storylines. I'm sure some video packages will catch me up, and if there's any WWE TV matches that people think are MOTY worthy, tell me in the comments so I know to search for them.

1. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

ER: Man cutting to commercials during the throwaway pre-show match is LAME. What is not lame, but hilarious, is JBL casually talking about T.I. and Yelawolf like these are people who he just knows. This probably got more time than any other pre-show match in the last year, and boy did they not fill it in very interesting ways. Things happened, Barrett wins, we learn little about life, somewhat about ourselves. I learn that I still find it necessary to watch pre-show matches. Does Michael Cole ever sound less genuine than when he is talking about somebody "having fun"? Whenever he talks about how much fun somebody is having he sounds like a man who has never experienced a day of fun in his life.

2. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

PAS: Pretty good match which ran a bit long. Watched this with my wife and her main comment was that they had too many kick outs.  Which was accurate, this match could have used an editor to clip out two or three minutes in the middle. It is more fun to watch Orton matches in St. Louis where people give a shit about him, and I am a Sheamus fan, if a wrestler takes a beating and gives one I will forgive a lot of sins. RKO out of nowhere was a little boring, as he can hit it out of cooler places and in cooler ways.

ER: Orton is a guy who always makes me groan when I see I'm about to watch a Randy Orton match, but then it seems like I usually like his PPV matches. Yet I still end up dreading Orton PPV matches. I can't explain it. This takes a while to get rolling, gets good around the 8 minute mark, and then kinda gets uninteresting again. My interest grew when Sheamus took his great Cassandro bump, and from there bumped all over for Orton's stuff and made it look legit. Nice bump to the floor off a clothesline, big superplex bump, big bump off the rope drape DDT. Cruisers don't put over Orton's stuff this well.And really Phil (and Chelsea) are right about this being too long. Sheamus is one of those traditional WWE guys like Christian or Matt Hardy who kind of learned to work the perfect 11 minute WWE match. The finish was flat, but I'll HAPPILY take Randy Orton's standard RKO after seeing Jay Lethal's shitty handstand one and Killshot's even shittier somersault one over the last couple days. Seeing just a normal RKO was like a fucking glass of ice water after running a marathon.

3. New Day vs. Prime Time Players

PAS: Another pretty good match, Kofi works so much better as a big bumping heel and Big E v. Titus big man battles are pretty great, that splash on the apron by Big E was really cool got a ton of height. I am not sure where they can go with this feud, but I enjoy all of their matches with each other.

ER: These teams are such good uses of everybody involved. PTP work so great together and New Day takes 1 guy I like and 2 I don't and makes it work. Rachel is amused that practically every black man in the fed is shoved into the same match. Darren Young is one of the best bumpers in the fed and I loved his corner bump into the cameraman. Big E's apron splash was epic, gonna be tough to beat that for my favorite spot of the night. He got insane height and it landed with so much more impact than any fat man who does a splash. This match wasn't bad but I'm sure they've had better TV (or even house show) matches.

4. Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt

PAS: Well no more doubting Roman Reigns, as this was yet another awesome singles match, he pretty much can do no wrong at this point. He is just breaking out classic after classic. I really loved this, as it was just two giant dudes beating the shit out of each other. The clothesline counter of the dropkick was a total holy shit spot, as was the counter of the spear. Finish had a minimal amount of bullshit for the first part of a feud, and I am all in favor of a Wyatt Family reunion.

ER: I really dug both guys in this. It's become kinda popular to dump on Bray but I always end up digging him in matches. All his stuff landed (his crossbody is beautiful), he bumped huge for Roman, he is one of the only guys in WWE who knows how to work a side headlock (his shit talking took it to another level too, with stuff like "He's giving up on you!"). Wyatt and Shield guys have really developed a nice sense of timing with each other, and now I feel like a dummy for ONE MATCH AGO saying that Big E's splash will be spot of the night, because like 15 minutes later we get Wyatt knocking Reigns out of the sky on his apron dropkick attempt. Oh my stars. Wyatt looks really great throughout this. Loved him kneeling on Reigns' chest while punching his face, and Reigns is great working underneath here. Both guys are coming out of this one looking damn good. I loved Bray turning the crab walk into an Undertaker sit-up spot. Reigns repeat corner clotheslines could use some mustard on them. He should tighten them up or drop them. They never look that good, like when Batista's crappy corner shoulderblocks to the stomach. Just club him, Wyatt can take it! And YES Luke Harper coming back with Wyatt. GOOD. I wish it didn't lead directly to the finish, but oh well. Rachel during the match even said she wished they'd just throw the Wyatts back together. Awesome match that filled its long running time well. Again, both guys came out of this looking better.

5. Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte vs. Brie Bella

PAS: Feels like the booking of the Divas invasion is going to guarantee a lot of 3 ways which is going to be problematic. This was a bit sloppy which is to be expected, still this had a lot of energy, and the crowd seems willing to get into the NXT girls. I think Sasha can do better, and hopefully will get a chance to have a singles match which builds a bit. I actually thought Brie looked better then Charlotte, as she was laying it in, and clearly doesn't want to be lapped. Dive train was a mistake as none of those dives looked good at all.

ER: Sasha has clear superstar charisma and I really hope they give her a nice long singles run. It sucks for the Divas that it seems like they always get dumped into 3-ways on the PPVs. Sasha "breaking boards" in the corner with the other two was amusing, and Charlotte is really good at throwing herself face first into things. Her apron bump was great. The 3 way rears it's ugly stupid head as Brie is out selling a knee drop for a preposterously long time. Rachel watches Total Divas so during this she was filling me in on how Brie wants to have a baby, and how Rachel is glad that Brie doesn't feel pressured to get boob implants, and then jokes how Charlotte should consider hip implants so her body isn't as mannish, and then says how Charlotte must have played volleyball, and then looks it up and informs me that Charlotte was apparently a high end high school volleyball player. She is doing this while playing a Zelda game on Game Boy Advance and drinking a Lagunitas Lil Sumpin. She...is crushing her Sunday, essentially. I kind of liked the dive train, in the same way I liked Vince taking bumps, as it always looked really dangerous. Brie's trust fall bump was scary as she kind of overshot, all the dives saw limbs all flying where they shouldn't be. It was ugly, but compelling. The figure 8 is such a great sub. I've never seen a figure 4 look more painful. Surprised to see Charlotte go over, and the match went probably too long, but this was good enough and it's a nice sign that it went long as at least that's them getting a chance.

6. Kevin Owens vs. John Cena

ER: This is kind of a lame response to this match, but I really don't know how I feel about their feud at this point. We've kind of seen them have a variation on the same match three times now. I loved the first one. Second one was fine albeit a little sloppy. This one also seemed fine but left me a little cold. Moves happened, moves were kicked out of, eventually a move ended the match. At one point after a kickout Cole asked "When will it end?" and while he didn't mean it this way, that's what I was feeling. It never felt like they were ever building to anything in this one, just felt like they were doing every move they knew to fill a certain amount of time. Maybe that's not fair. Maybe there were subtle things I was missing because I was typing about it. Maybe this is a flaw in the "write as you watch" format. I thought Owens looked great in it. But for whatever reason nothing in the match moved me. Nobody ever looked very vulnerable, they both kinda just looked like supermen who did a lot of moves to each other. Many of the moves looked like they really hurt, but nothing about how they treated the moves made me think they hurt. I'm not sure where they go with each man now. I haven't been following WWE TV so not sure what is being built for Owens after this, not sure which direction Cena is going with his US reign. This whole thing just made me feel like I was watching a modern Christopher Daniels match, and that's a shame because I clearly like each guy more than Daniels. But hey, maybe I'm wrong.

PAS: Yeah I was out on this too. I really liked Owens cutting Cena off with a nasty punch to the mouth, and I was hoping they would mix the match up a bit and make it a little nastier, but then they shot into finisher spam, the big problem with this match up is that they never mixed it up, it felt like two guys taking their match to a bunch of different indy shows. The first match was their IWA-MS match, the second was their EVOLVE match and then they did their 50 finisher PWG match. Tough to watch those basically all in a row in front of the same audience. Also man did they overdo the stare unbelievingly into the lights, I am not sure how many wide eyed glazed eyed stares we got, but it was a ton. At one point Cole said "I haven't seen that look in Cena's eyes since he wrestled the Rock" I was thinking you saw it three minutes ago when Owens kicked out of something else.

ER: Ryback sacrificed his leg so that I wouldn't have to sit through a Miz match. And a 3 way no less!! Thank you, Ryback.

7. Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: Few modern workers (or, let's face it, workers in the history of me watching wrestling) get me as excited for a match as Lesnar. Just a natural excitement for his matches. And WAIT THAT'S THE END!?!? Where did the referee and Rollins go?? Did Undertaker's magic make them disappear?? I...don't even know what to say. I hadn't heard Undertaker was coming back (not sure if this was common knowledge or anything, I haven't been following the rumor mill), and I'm a-ok with him being a part of this match.....but for NOTHING to happen afterwards??? The match just ends?? Did Rollins just leave, but duck out of the camera? Were we supposed to think he vanished? I honestly have no clue what the fuck happened here. I mean, the referee must have vanished into thin air. He already counted two, does a three count not matter if it's done in the dark? I don't get it. And I'm not sure what WWE wanted me to think about Undertaker, but all I felt was "Oh god his knees must be killing him after that Tombstone. Oh shit he's doing ANOTHER one? God his knees are gonna be barking." I don't want to see another Taker/Lesnar match. I was LOVING Lesnar/Rollins. Loving it. Rollins was getting tossed all over, bought into him landing on his feet out of a German and tossing out all the superkicks, loved him hitting multiple topes to try and just gain SOME ground.......and then people just poof vanished.

PAS: This stunk, Lesnar v. Rollins was something they had been building since Wrestlemania, and we didn't even get a match. It was like Hogan v. Piper on Nitro ending in two minutes so the NWO can spray paint everyone. What a waste of a Brock match and a main event.

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WWE Hell in a Cell 2014 Live Blog

We are giving this another shot. Phil will be in for sure. Eric is a maybe

Dolph Ziggler v. Cesaro

One of the better Ziggler matches I have seen, Cesaro clearly is the PPV show stealer at this point. It got a little counter movey for me, but there was a bunch of pretty great counters. I liked all of the early matwork and all of the work out of the choke which ended up with Cesaro lifting Ziggler into the superplex was great. Cesaro seems to work in a new cool strength spot in every match. I do like them mixing it up with Ziggler winning 2 straight falls, although I think Cesaro needs to win one of these matches one of these days.

Nikki Bella v. Brie Bella

Not exactly professional looking stuff, but I have to give it to them, if it is going to look awkward you might as well make it violent. There was a knee which looked like it broke a Bella nose and another running knee which looked gross. Kept it moving and didn't drag. Gets the full worldwide point.

Stardust/Goldust v. Usos

Have to love we are getting a long Dustin Rhodes PPV match every month in 2014. I loved Dustin in this, he is really nasty when he is on offense, and a great heel in peril. Loved his spinebuster and that crazy face first over the top bump, also liked the finish, felt like a nifty way to steal a victory, with the kick to the knee.

John Cena v. Randy Orton

I have to give these guys some credit, I had no interest in this match up, but ended up enjoying it OK. I really liked both Orton RKO counters, the one out of the shoulder block was a cool way of mixing up a stale set of spots. We knew this was going to have a ton of kick outs, but they at least tried some different stuff. I really think they need to mix up the standard WWE brawling staples of chairs and tables, I hope Ambrose and Rollins bring some different stuff.

Miz v. Sheamus

I think I am in a good mood, as I enjoyed this too. The Mizdow stuff is fun comedy, while still existing within the world of wrestling rules. Has Miz always worked this stiff, his kicks were pretty nasty looking and the elbows in the corner after the clothesline was actually violent looking. Everything on this show so far has been pretty good.

Big Show v. Rusev

I liked this a bunch too. Rusev had some cool spots, the suplex was really impressive looking. I also really liked the finish with Rusev chopping down the Big Show with superkicks like an axe felling an oak. Big Show is awesome, I prefer heel Andre to heel Big Show, but face Big Show is the best babyface giant ever. Also happy they didn't do a hack Mark Henry turn.

AJ Lee v. Paige

That bump on the barricade was pretty nasty, but the rest of this match looked pretty awkward. This was the first bad thing on the show

Seth Rollins v. Dean Ambrose

Man that is two PPV's in a row with really dogshit endings to otherwise good matches. I liked Rollins and Ambrose as sort of a bloodless CZW Cage of Death. Rollins took a huge beating, and the double cage falls kind of built this up as a big deal, but man what a deflating way to end this feud. I really hate when they try to set up the next show by taking all of the steam out of the show you are watching. I imagine Ambrose v. Wyatt family will be fine, but just run the angle after the match is over.

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The Unironic Enjoyment of a Divas Match

Alicia Fox/Aksana vs. The Bella Twins WWE Main Event 1/22/14

Wednesday was a pretty normal day for me. I listened to Jay Reatard while driving to work, and also while at work. I had a meeting with my boss. I made toast. I had an apple. I spent time dicking around on fangraphs. I dealt with  Fixed Assets tracking. I spent my lunch break reading a magazine in my car while listening to John Fahey. I used words like "sub-object" and "ledger". I drove home from work while listening to Pharmakon. I played with my cat, Tacos, and kissed my girlfriend, Rachel, when I got home. This is a Wednesday for me. Or a Tuesday. Any weekday.

But then I eventually watched and enjoyed a WWE Divas match. I enjoyed it enough to text Phil to go out of his way to watch a Divas match (I assume Phil has not watched a Divas match since Aja Kong vs. Chaparrita Asari). I cannot remember the last time I enjoyed a Divas match. It may have been a LayCool match. It was likely a Layla match of some sort. Or a Cherry match. It was probably Layla vs. Cherry.

We start with Aksana making fun of Brie's hair, and when she goes to touch it Brie slaps her hand away and elbows her face, then dishes out nice knees from the clinch. Brie also has a shockingly nice missile dropkick. But when Aksana takes over is when it gets real, as she throws a nice shot to Brie's stomach, and then drops three really great elbows. Fox tags in and Brie does a nice sly drop toe hold on the advancing Fox, which Alicia takes great by spilling dangerously face first into the ropes. Aksana cuts off Brie's attempt to tag out with another nice elbowdrop, and holy cow does Aksana throw great knees at Brie's face in the corner. Alicia Fox works one of the most compelling chinlocks I've seen in months (which is painfully obvious when most matches in WWE have to include a face-in-chinlock spot as the transition to final babyface comeback), and then locks in a nasty Can Opener. She seriously looked like she was choking her out! Fox really knows how to bump for Bella offense and really throws herself into bumps and spills, running especially hard into a missed turnbuckle charge. Nikki comes in with some flashy indy offense (I take your face and kind of snap it into my knee!) which is made to look not actually preposterous by Fox, who whips into that knee and snaps back. Nikki finishes it with a sick sit-out torture rack, with Fox ragdolling afterwards.

Okay. A couple things:

~This match was like 3 minutes long. It shouldn't be impressive that 4 wrestlers went 3 minutes without screwing anything up. It was likely more impressive because Main Event sucks now. It used to guarantee a long Cesaro match but now it's always got a super long Kofi or R-Truth match instead. Divas matches are going to look better after Kofi or R-Truth matches.

~There were some weird things that I would call out in a second in other matches. Aksana, for as good as she looked on offense, took one of the worst bumps off the apron I've seen. She fell off the apron like somebody dipping their toe into a cold swimming pool, and then getting pushed in unexpectedly. She also, midway through the match, got obsessed with adjusting her onesie over her butt. You know, the way Samoa Joe used to constantly pull his trunks up over his tummy. Well Aksana was constantly tugging on her trunks like that. Major pet peeve from me, for whatever reason. I can handle rope running, but don't adjust your gear too much! Derp derp.

Whatever. Fun Divas match on a Wednesday.

PAS: I did not watch this match.

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