Found Footage Friday: STUDD~! WANZ~! COCOS~! NOSAWA~! MASADA~! FANTASMAS~!

Big John Studd vs. Otto Wanz CWA 12/20/83

MD: This is a 40 minute John Studd vs. Otto Wanz match from December 1983 found in the massive lot of tapes that @maskedwrestlers was able to rescue from Germany. Go hit him up if you want to see it. Obviously, I jumped at it. I covered a slew of Wanz matches years ago and he has excellent timing, hits hard, and has a singular connection with the crowd. As the 80s roll on, he becomes less and less mobile and while none of those skills fade, the matches do suffer a bit for it. Then there's Studd. In so many ways, he's the most human of the giants, emoting frustration, fear, hatred, resentment. He's a two-hundred pound stalling stooge in a much larger frame. It creates an amazing dissonance he can use to rile an audience, but that dissonance unfortunately carries over to not being particularly dynamic on offense. 

This overachieved and I think it did so because the environment maximized the opportunity for these two to lean into their strengths. This match takes place over nine rounds. There's a minute rest period with music playing in between each. While the narrative can build over rounds, it creates a clear break and bit of respite. Studd has a reputation of sitting in some fairly uninteresting holds and there's very little of that there. There were other advantages as well. Studd's height allows him to strike down and always have an excuse for getting back into the match. They're both massive and everything, from a lock-up to punch to a snap mare to one of them daring to go up to the turnbuckles feels weighty and consequential. The ten count to win added gravitas to every knockdown as well. Maybe most important of all is the fact that Otto is very good at working from underneath in holds, constantly moving his hands, constantly trying to fight his way to a different position. That's more than half the battle against Studd. The crowd was hot the whole way through. There were two camera angles here, spliced together; one picked up the crowd better than the other, but they were buzzing, constantly chanting "Otto, Otto".

If any one of these pieces dropped, it might have been a slog, but none of them did. Let's take it through the text itself. This is going to be a little dry but I want to make the case knowing people may not have forty minutes for this. Right from the get go, after the anthems, Studd was quick to shove Otto, to demand a test of strength. They locked up, shoved off, crashed off the ropes into each other and shook the entire arena. Studd struck downwards with elbows and clubbers. Otto would come back off the ropes with big meaty shots. Studd would attempt a chinlock, a standing one at the end of the second round with him peppering in a knee, and grounded ones in the third, but Otto was quick to get up and the third ended with him jamming Studd's mare and turning it around, to a big pop from the crowd. 

Otto pressed the advantage in the fourth round, dropping Studd with a single leg and then rowing along in time with the crowd's chants with a standing toehold. Otto had a way to make these interesting and entertaining, whether working on top or from the bottom. They had teased slamming each other earlier, but at the end of this round, riding his momentum, Otto finally got Studd up and over as the bell rang. Right after, I'm Still Standing played for the crowd and it felt like a high point in some DreamWorks animated movie. In the fifth, Studd, desperate, was able to get Otto out of the ring and brawled with him there. He caught him on the way back in and layed in some heavy shots. He couldn't hold back Wanz for long though and Otto controlled this middle portion fairly well, even through Studd's attempt to work his arm in the sixth. 

By the seventh round, Studd was at his wit's end. He demanded they announce over the house mic that he had previously said that Otto was going down in the seventh. Otto charged in, they slugged it out, and Otto got the best of him in the corner at hit his signature flip senton. Studd was a bedraggled, sweaty mess by this point. He managed a cheapshot and a corner  beatdown of his own, but Otto powered up and tosses Studd from the ring. There was a clear narrative throughline in all of this, and while it could have potentially been a bit more dramatic, the crowd wanted to see Otto fight back again and again and it led to what happened after the seventh. Instead of staying in his corner, Studd attacked between rounds. This was treated like a horrific offense, with officials and Wanz's second coming in only to get dispatched with ease by Studd to a chorus of boos. Studd beat Wanz around ringside before pulling down the corner pad and opening him up with the metal underneath. Otto was able to fire back at the bell but Studd had the advantage.

Studd pressed that advantage in the ninth, picking Otto up a couple of times with a level of aggression you wouldn't expect out of him at this point of the match, before crashing into the exposed post himself, and finally getting slayed for the ten count (if just barely) by an Otto pile driver. 

Between the round system and Otto's ability to work from underneath, this never slowed down for long. The level of motion may have been more subdued but how hard they hit didn't. Studd taking three or four big steps across the ring to lay a clothesline across Wanz' chest was absolutely impactful. And those times when they really moved, whether it be Studd missing an elbow drop or Wanz coming flying off the top with a big shot, meant all the more for the build. Lots of little bits of build and payoff throughout too, whether it was Otto hitting that slam or changing the trajectory of the match by jamming the mare attempt. They very much knew what they were doing and while I think this could have been even stronger if Studd took slightly more of the middle, that only made his egregious (and dissontant; why does someone so big have to do that!) cheating between the seventh and the eight mean all the more. This was an unquestioned accomplishment. They went forty minutes, never losing the crowd, always hitting hard, utilizing holds at times but not wearing out their welcome and never just sitting there, finishing strong.

ER: I always think of Matt as the Big John Studd Guy because Matt was the guy who really dove into what made Studd different from other big workers, learning his patterns and strengths better than anyone else I know. I think I was close to the trail. I remember talking to Phil about him years ago, tell Phil that Studd wasn't anywhere near as big as he was billed. I thought he had Big Dick Dudley or Col. DeBeers size and build and was a fake big man. A man with military posture like DeBeers or Nick Nolte in Who'll Stop the Rain. Adding size. But I was just being tricked by Studd's sometimes odd style, the smallest working giant we've ever had. Matt recognized it for the oddity it was and cracked the code on what the best assets of Studd were. So Matt covered this match well, as I knew he would. Matt left me the link to this match in the draft of our review and told me to "give myself time." I did, because of course I wanted to watch 40 minutes of a Giant and an Obese Regional Megastar. I love the fat regional babyface. I love Big Daddy. Imagine if Abdullah the Butcher was the big Puerto Rico babyface and Carlos Colon was the island's greatest heel? The feud would be even more blowaway great than their actual feud. 

This is 40 minutes of big man wrestling heaven, where two behemoths worked like rival lumbering mastodons punctuated by polka and electronic instrumental themed rest breaks. It was slow but always intense. Otto Wanz is a real favorite of mine. I love a country who gets behind a big fat guy who looks like a King of Fighters character, and is the kind of fat guy that looks more normal in a double strap singlet than he does in normal clothes. John Studd has some of the great understated gear in wrestling. The long white tights have literally never been pulled off better. The fit impeccable, the build never more impressive. John Studd looked like a tree of a man and Wanz looked like a Bill Plympton drawing. His face has this youthful woundability, and no matter how short or long any Wanz match is, it will be constantly filled with Otto chants. Otto is a master of falling into ropes in dramatic ways, hitting the bottom rope on Studd's short arm western lariats to the fucking face, falling sideways or chest first into them reeling from other strikes. 

This was not a stiff match but had the appearance of a stiff match, an exquisitely worked long match where every single impact had real weight behind it. The longer they worked, the more dramatic it felt. This felt like a true clash of the titans. Studd was not a cheating heel, and often he would call his shot in a more badass way than I've seen from anyone this side of Stan Hansen: multiple times pointing to his very large flexed forearm before swinging it straight at the bridge of Otto's nose. Every time either one of them fell or was knocked down felt like a major deal. The few spills through the ropes to the floor felt like major moments all, none bigger than Studd kicking Otto's ass around ringside while a worried man on the house mic pleads with him to stop and a large old man in a dinner jacket keeps getting dangerously involved. 

The drama and big match feel were so strong here that you wouldn't even need to know anything about Wanz or Studd. You would be easily able to see their appeal even though nobody else works quite like them. I loved the pacing of this, I loved how it felt like it really could have kept going a full hour. I knew Matt had my best interests in mind when leaving a 50 minute link to a Wanz/Studd match, but I never anticipated feeling robbed of a longer match. 

IWRG Retro 3/8/2001

Suicida/Coco Rojo/Coco Blanco vs. Payaso Misterioso/Nosawa/Masada

MD: More IWRG Retro. This is episode 27 which feels like a high number so I probably have to go back and see what I missed. This is the same show with the Santo/Silver King trios main event. This from the undercard definitely worked for me. Nice mix of Nosawa and Masada moving at high speed with Segura, including doing a great job of getting into position for his stuff and then everyone just playing into Los Cocos' act with a bunch of crowd pleasing comedy stuff. Payaso Misterioso had some heft to him so Segura bounced right off of him, but then he'd stumble into a shot from Rojo or Blanco to get knocked out of the ring, that sort of deal. The primera had the beatdown, the segunda the comedy in the comeback, and then they cycled through fairly quickly in the tercera. The finish had Los Cocos get the advantage on the Japanese with quebradoras into submissions, only for a third figure to come in to disrupt things. Probably Minoru Fujita? What we had here was a little clipped but it was 13 minutes of good fun overall.

Enterrador/Bombero Infernal/Black Metal vs. Fantasma/Fantasma Jr/Ultimo Vampiro

MD: Pretty complete trios match here. Fantasma Sr. was just over 50 here if I'm not mistaken. Jr. is his nephew and, alongside, Vampiro, rounded out the tecnico side with flying since Sr. wasn't going to do that.. The rudo side were better than the sum of their parts. Black Metal was tall and Enterrador ("Undertaker") was wide in an Abyss sort of way. Apparently he'd have a mask match with Ultimo Vampiro later that year and from what I saw here, I sort of wonder if that exists. (Edit: It does.). Point being, in the segunda especially, Bombero Infernal was directing traffic as a poor man's Satanico and it all went quite well. Fantasma, Sr. was very giving, allowing for his mask to get pulled in a big way. He was front and center for the comeback, moving out of the way of an Enterrador dropkick. Black Metal used his height to the fullest, first eating a double dropkick from Fantasma, Jr. and Vampiro and then basing for a huge over the top dive. The finish had Enterrador vs Fantasma where Fantasma fooled Bello Greco (who had ref duties here) by tossing his mask to a charging Enterrador to draw the DQ. Totally blatant, no way the ref should have been followed, but wildly charming at the same time.

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WWF 305 Live: Andre vs. Studd Career vs. $15,000!

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd WWF WrestleMania 3/31/85 - FUN

ER: I really like gimmick matches where the gimmick is the thing that ends the match, and I also recognize that a lot of those matches tend to be worked in ways that don't quite seem like the guys in the match would have worked things any differently in absence of the gimmick. This is a match where you win by bodyslamming your opponent, and really does not feel like a match you can only win by bodyslamming your opponent. BUT, if Andre fails to bodyslam Studd, then he loses his CAREER!! Andre has to slam Studd, or else we will never hear from him again! But it is definitely a gimmick match where both men don't seem to know or care about the actual stipulations and instead just work 5 minutes that don't totally seem to build to much. It is a match that happens to end with a bodyslam, and before it ended the only way the match by rule was allowed to end, there had only been one brief bodyslam attempt. Since Andre never attempted a bodyslam until he hit the one slam that won the match, there was never any sense that he was specifically weakening Studd to make him easier to slam, as there was never any point in the match where he was having any kind of difficulty doing whatever he wanted to Studd. If this was a man who knew he was in danger of losing his career, then Andre sure chose to play it c-o-o-l. 

There were a lot of really great, interesting ways this match could have been worked. This could have been Studd hurting Andre early and wearing down Andre's back while attempting several bodyslams that each get a bit closer, or this could have been Studd - noted heel giant stooge earlier in his career - scrambling to avoid Andre as Andre dominates and keeps almost-slamming him. You could have Andre get frustrated by Studd's avoidance and make a mistake because of that frustration, allowing a surprise late match shift in momentum. Those are just three easy ways to work this, but there are a ton of other ways, and all of them are more interesting than what they chose to do. This is just Andre having no problem at all squeezing and kicking and punching Studd around the ring without even teasing that he was about to attempt to pick him up and was never once in danger for even two seconds. 

It's such a strange match when you think about it in context. Maybe they thought, "This is WrestleMania. This show will be seen by people who have perhaps never seen WWF before. We need a showcase for Andre. We need people to see this GIANT." But this was not an impressive example of Andre's skills. He punched, he ragdolled the hell out of Studd with a choke, and he held a bearhug. Andre's in-ring acting is the greatest in wrestling, and here there wasn't even an act. If you want a showcase of his offense, you need someone who is more interesting at taking offense, someone who would bump for a giant's punches; if you wanted to showcase Andre's selling and acting talents, then Studd was a big enough guy who could convincingly do offense that Andre would sell. This was just Andre being dominant, worked so that minute 5 of the match felt like minute 1. The long bearhug was supposed to sell that Andre was weakening Studd, but Studd didn't act that weakened and Andre never met resistance so the weakening seemed superfluous. Andre is in MSG and he just doesn't seem interested in making any of the match stipulations add to the match, and he shows none of the charisma or charm that he could show in his dominant performances. There's a moment where Studd tries to kick him, and Andre catches Studd's leg and start to laugh, lets it build...and then just throws a punch, which is a thing that he had been doing the whole match. Andre did have some cool leg kicks, but they were mainly fascinating from a "Andre usually doesn't lift his leg that way" stance. Andre doesn't usually kick a really tall guy in the thigh several times in a match, so it's just cool seeing Andre doing weird leg kicks. 

Andre decides to slam Studd and does so in a way that makes it look like he clearly could have done this 5 minutes ago, and he is awarded $15,000 that is being housed in a child's duffel bag. 

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New Footage Friday: WWF on MSG 4/25/83

Mr. Fuji vs. SD Jones

ER: This match was quite fun and mainly notable for its EXCELLENT finish. I thought SD Jones was going to pull this one out (not an impossibility) as he hit two massive headbutts on Fuji. Fuji sold them in this fun knee-buckling way and Jones worked a real nice headbutt, grabbing Fuji's melon with both hands and rearing way back before safely whipping his head forward. The headbutts played as a nice payback for Fuji's great falling headbutts to SD's "midsection" earlier in the match. But just as I thought SD was going to get a newly seen win from 40 years prior, he comes off the ropes and Fuji powers him over with a super fast belly to belly suplex that made Fuji look like Yoshiaki Yatsu. 

Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Johnny Rodz

ER: I like this kind of brainlessly active 10 minute Garden undercard match, where Sharpe will complain about his announced weight (here he was announced at 282 but screams about how he's 292 "and all muscle") and then bumps around for Rodz' dropkicks and sunset flips. Rodz gets tangled in the ropes in a cool way to sell a strike, and I love how Rodz' fast tough guy shtick plays against Sharpe's dumb meathead shtick. There's a great moment at the end where Sharpe gets tied in the ropes like Andre and has to make a bunch of stupid faces while Rodz fires up MSG for an attack that never comes. Rodz is dancing around and doing a hammock routine over the corner ropes, and the whole time Sharpe has to stand there screaming while his arms are tied in ropes. When Rodz finally attacks he runs right into a boot, then Sharpe hits one of his trademark ugly straight arm lariats for the win. 

Ray Stevens vs. Tony Garea

ER: Stevens has a pretty disappointing list of matches in his lone consistent WWF run, really only staying for 6 months and matching up a lot against Strongbows and Garea. But this might be the most I've seen a wrestler do with the typical Garea undercard match. It's the same Garea match you've seen if you've ever bothered to see more than one Tony Garea match, but Stevens is so good that he knows how to sell and bump for Garea's side headlocks and dropkicks and headlock takeovers and surprisingly stiff shoulderblocks, basically working like Bill Dundee against a stiff. Stevens' movement and the way he throws punches and kicks really reminds me of Dundee too, and despite being 47 here was hardly washed. His bumps are interesting, not just flat back bumps, but throwing himself back into the ropes and really making it look like he's getting knocked around by Garea and his bad body shots. I really loved Stevens keeping Garea on the floor with pointed kicks and punches, with Garea bumping multiple times off the apron. It could have been really good if Garea had bladed, but Stevens really built it up nicely for a potential Garea comeback, and Garea's fast sunset flip (with Stevens really whipping himself over on it) looked like a finish. Strong nearfall. The actual finish was Garea hitting a crossbody but Stevens rolling through for a quick pin, leaving this great visual of Garea angrily storming around inside the ring while Stevens gets his hand raised from his back, just like in the Fuji/SD Jones match before it. Stevens looked really great here, great enough where I think there should be an actual list worthy 1983 WWF Stevens match. His 80s AWA career is written off due to a leg injury and age, but 1983 Stevens looked like a guy that would be one of my 2021 favorites. 

The Wild Samoans (Afa/Samula) vs. Chief Jay Strongbow/Jules Strongbow

ER: This is the TV debut of Samu (here as Samoan #3) and it's a real fun showcase for him and his speed. Both Strongbows work this with a fun energy, and with Samula doing big flat back bumps with every tomahawk chop, making the Chief look like a real fun lesser Wahoo. Samula took bumps like a man testing out a hotel mattress, leaping up and backwards like every chop was taking the legs out from him. He works the entire first fall without tagging in Afa, and his energy keeps bringing out a great active side of the elder Strongbow. Is Chief Jay Actually Good? This match seems to point to that, and I wouldn't have guessed there were really fun Jay Strongbow matches from 1983. The Indians win the first fall after eventually hitting a big double chop and Samula, and then do the same early in the second. Samula had already been taking big backsplash bumps and here he got to show off his high dropkick. Jay really leans in to take the double headbutt for the finish of the second fall, and I loved his staggered blinded selling of it when the third eventually began; it felt similar to how Lawler would woozily fight back while knocked out standing. It all builds to an amazing spot where Strongbow and Samula hit heads, but it sends Jay on an incredible backwards bump over the top to the floor. Chief Jay basically leapt backwards over the ropes and went tumbling down in a great bump. Both teams handle the hot tag in cool ways, with Jay falling flat backwards after a collision and landing close enough for Jules to fall in, and when Jules tags in and hits Samula with a hard overhand chop he flies backwards halfway across the ring and tags Afa and his flight. Afa's fast rope running cross up was a neat burst of speed for the sudden finish (which was handled a bit clunkily as Jay was breaking up the pin after the one count and the ref just ignored it). So, what's some recommended Chief Jay Strongbow? 

Rocky Johnson vs. Don Muraco

MD: Rocky Johnson is a guy that absolutely got it. We don't have a ton of him from the 70s, but when he pops into a territory like Houston or Portland, he has a larger than life energy that doesn't really get talked up enough. It's probably because most people know him from this run, and then more from 84 on than 83 back, but he's probably a wrestler that deserves more of a look. The first few minutes of this were picture perfect in that regard. Muraco came down in Steelers gear with Albano. Johnson wanted the mic to call Muraco "Brother" which apparently was part of the program here as that offended Muraco. Albano ate a headbutt, both of them got double noggin' knockered from the inside out. Johnson started with the slaps that led to punches and Muraco took a powder. Then they moved on to strength spots where Johnson just stopped Muraco's whips like they were nothing. All great stuff. All got a reaction. Muraco was stooging all over the place. The finish worked too. After some solid beatings by Muraco, Johnson came back and ultimately hit this amazing standing dropkick onto Muraco who was perched on the top to get the countout win. The big problem was a bizarre structural approach probably having to do with Muraco as a vulnerable champ. After that shine, they had Johnson lean on Muraco with a long chinlock instead of the other way around. If that was part of Muraco's control, with them moving in and out of it with hope spots, it wouldn't have wowed anyone, but it would have still worked given Johnson's level of being over and Muraco's heat with the crowd. Instead, everything just ground to a halt for a few minutes. Pretty bizarre. That's 80s New York for you. The rest of this was good though.


Bob Backlund vs. Ivan Koloff

MD: If you're someone who like Bob Backlund matches, this will probably be something of a lost gem for you. They were very well matched. Koloff was slimmer than his 70s WWWF run and we know that he was still very good at what he did from his run in Crockett over the next few years. Instead of leaning into forboding strength, he played up his canny, and they built slowly and gradually and with great payoff to Backlund's strength spots, specifically a lift up out of a full nelson reversal and the gotch lift out of the short arm scissors. Say what you will about Monsoon on commentary, but him dismissing so much that happened in the ring did make it matter all the more when he really put something over, as he did with these. He and Patterson were both calling them the most impressive feats imaginable. Backlund was very good at knowing when to be beat down or to sell the aftereffects of something and when to just shrug it all off and go up for the crowd. He got out of Koloff's big bearhug by pressing Koloff's head down low enough so he could launch a knee. I've never seen that before and I might not believe it from anyone else. That was the thing with Backlund. He was so deep into his own character that it had to be hard for the crowd to do anything but believe along with him. He followed up his escape with this amazing crumbling pile driver. They made too much of the slow counting ref in the back third, but it was a pretty solid finishing stretch with an exciting calf branding near fall and Koloff going to the well once too often to see a suplex reversed for the clean as a whistle finish. Between how well these two were matched and that the crowd was into it, even chanting USA at times, they could have definitely gotten more than one match out of this one.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Superstar Graham

MD: I wasn't going to watch this but it was 3 minutes long and I figure someone's interested. Snuka remained on the rise and Graham fed for him and took all of his stuff and got beaten clean in the middle of the ring in 3 minutes. He looked withered and terrible, of course, but this was an effective use of a former champion to further get over the molten babyface and build his credibility. Just a very giving performance by Graham while still being a pretty embarrassing one given how he looked and moved and the shoddy kung fu stuff that was mainly just waving his hands around.

Swede Hanson vs. Pedro Morales

ER: This was a cool little 4 minute match with a couple neat surprises. I really liked Swede Hanson's lock-up and headlock game, even if it doesn't always go anywhere. He's a really big guy and his size during lock ups and headlock sequences always makes me sit up a bit, like I'm not expecting a huge old guy to effectively scramble to maintain a front chancery. Morales breaks an early smothering headlock by working his way to a knee breaker, which is where that sudden scramble from Hanson comes from. Morales takes a huge backwards bump through the ropes to the floor off a strike from Swede, and looks like he hits the back of his head on the timekeeper's table while basically doing Harley Race's bump. Morales comes back eventually with some solid body shots but then catches knees on a charge, eating a great Hanson running kneedrop for a close nearfall (in what I thought was the finish). Hanson had hit a couple other nice kneedrops earlier, those old school worked knees that were worked and throw with the full shin. Morales wins with a small package, but if this got a couple more minutes it would have been a great Velocity match. 

Eddie Gilbert vs. Jose Estrada

ER: This was right before Gilbert's serious car accident and it's fascinating the kind of reactions Gilbert was getting as a young babyface in WWF. Gilbert looks and works like young babyface Portland Roddy Piper, throwing energetic corner punches and surprising Estrada with a Thesz press for a near win, and is getting the kind of crowd reaction that Owen never got in the early 90s in a similar role. Gilbert and Estrada have a fun chemistry, and I especially liked how Estrada kept cutting off Gilbert with a punch to the head or stomach. Sometimes Gilbert would charge in and jet get stopped by a punch to the guy, other times Estrada would actually pause a hold he was doing just to punch Gilbert, or punch Gilbert in the face right when Gilbert was working his way out of a hold (Gilbert starting to break a headscissors? Cut your losses and just punch him!). Estrada doesn't wrestle without scruples, but it sure makes him look smart to not cling to a failing hold. This is a show with a lot of really well done finishes, and this was no different: It's a quick bit of rope running where Gilbert tries to catch Estrada with an O'Connor Roll, but Estrada holds on and bumps Gilbert, then runs at Gilbert for his own sunset flip, which Gilbert rolls out of and falls into a double leg pin. 

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

ER: This is actually a neat footnote of a match to appear, as Studd had to be Andre's most frequent opponent over his long career. Studd and Andre feuded for parts of a decade in WWF alone, and this was the first time this attraction had played New York. Studd/Andre would have been a big attraction here, and I love how Studd riled them up by throwing down a $10,000 challenge. This motherfucker was challenging 10K over bodyslams *this* early into their WWF feud? Studd just started at 10K and only went up to 15K by the end of the decade. More guys on the Indies should challenge people for the money in their pocket. But this is a big match, starts and builds like a big match, but has a cruel dismissive count out finish that gets actual garbage thrown in the ring in MSG. 

The story is minimalist but very satisfying. Andre gave Studd a few laughing one handed shoves when he got in the ring, and kept shooting Studd these great Kubrick stare death looks like "No, please, keep talking, let's see what happens." Studd throws punches aimed at Andre's left arm, and Andre is good enough to work a Sell the Arm match as the largest man in his sport in 1983. He throws clubbing punches at the side of Studd's head and neck, and throws heavy chops that physically move Studd when they connect (and they always connect). But Andre throws all of those strikes with his right arm, and is great at selling pain when Studd is working a Fujiwara and dropping weight onto the arm. Andre is great at keeping active in holds and reacting to micro movements and changes in Studd's leverage. I loved how Andre trying reaching back to grab Studd in a headlock with his free arm, with Studd tucking his chin so Andre couldn't hook it, but still having to get his face smothered by Andre's big arm. Studd really got knocked around by Andre's comeback, really getting moved by his strikes and taking a couple bumps falling through the ropes to the apron. But Studd's strikes also got louder the longer the match went, with one axe handle blow to Andre's back sounding like a gunshot. Andre rams Studd into the corner, using ass and shoulder, and all of Studd's strikes to fight for a breath look hard.  

There are two great bodyslam teases, with Studd really getting his hand buried to get Andre off a leg, and an even better one as the very finish to the match: Andre grabs Studd on the apron to bring him back in over the top with a bodyslam, and Studd blocks it by just hooking his feet around the top rope! Studd is holding on for dear life with his toes glued together, and when Andre can't pull him free he just drops Studd, then plops down leg and ass first on his chest. Studd roles out of the ring and Nopes his way right down the entrance way without looking back on time. Fans are furious, and it turns out this was the only Andre/Studd match that would ever be run at MSG. They deserved a bit better than that finish, but I really dug the match as a big early moment of a long feud. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE ANDRE

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WWF 305 Live: Uncle Elmer! Big John Studd! Boss Man! Dusty!

Big John Studd vs. Uncle Elmer WWF MSG 8/10/85 - VERY GOOD

ER: Anyone who says the Hillbillies were not an insanely over act in WWF's main touring markets is an outright liar who has never actually watched any Hillbilly matches. Because on this night in 1985 there were 22,000 people packed into MSG and they lost their collective minds when Uncle Elmer made his comeback, and it was glorious. The whole match is a lot of clobbering and stomping, with Studd jumping Elmer the moment Elmer crossed the plane of the ring ropes. Studd clubs and stomps Elmer so much that Elmer isn't even on his feet until his actual comeback! Studd clubs him to the ground and then stomps away while Elmer rolls around in a daze, and when Studd drags Elmer to his feet (lifting him up by his overall straps), that's when Elmer starts clubbing Studd in the ears and throwing a couple great forearms to the chest, then hits a big avalanche in the corner. 

When Elmer calls for the powerslam the MSG crowd loses it, just an insanely loud crowd reaction for these Hillbillies. And just as Elmer is about to lift Studd, Heenan flies into frame and starts throwing stiff as hell shots at Elmer, and the crowd loses it all over again when Hillbilly Jim gets in the ring to punch Studd in the head as Elmer starts to choke Heenan. I immediately go to look up where the follow up Elmer/Hillbilly Jim vs. Studd/Heenan matches happened, and of course Elmer never had any kind of interaction with Studd OR Heenan after this match. WWF had this very bizarre habit during this era of using an MSG match for an angle to set up a molten hot return match, and then never cashing in on that return match in any way. This whole match was maybe 4 minutes (including the excellent post match Heenan involvement) and it is so weird to me that something this and a match this fun was sadly both angle AND blowoff. 

Big Boss Man vs. Dusty Rhodes WWF SNME 11/25/89 - FUN

ER: This was good but really should have been great. Instead it was a short match that served as more angle than match, bringing Sapphire from exuberant ringside Dust fan to Dusty's new manager and setting up a run of house show stips matches. There's a lot of Slick distraction, a lot of Boss Man and Slick yelling at Sapphire, and some fairly unnecessary arm work from Boss Man. But there are also several memorable exchanges. Every time they are throwing strikes is great, with nothing but exciting right hands from both. We got some nice flashes of young Boss Man's speed when he chased Dusty to throw him into the ringpost. Best moment of the match is a real beast of a kitchen sink that Boss Man buries in Dusty's belly. Boss Man's kitchen sink was so great that it would have made a believable finisher, and I love how Dusty bumped for it. There are a few fun big misses, like Dusty missing an elbowdrop and Boss Man missing an avalanche and winding up draped over the top ropes, but the schoolboy finish is incredibly weak. The match would have been way better if they had just brawled to a count out, and we didn't ever get another TV singles match between them. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE WWF 305 LIVE

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WWF 305 Live: Andre!! Studd! Bundy! Atlas! Hillbilly Jim!

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Andre the Giant/Tony Atlas WWF SNME 10/5/85 - VERY GOOD

ER: The angle to set this one up was good, with Studd holding Andre's legs while Bundy kept hitting splash after splash on him. All of Bundy's splashes looked good, and this match kicked ass. Atlas looked downright tiny compared to all these oafs in the ring, and when Atlas is the smallest guy in a match you know it's gonna rule. This is all about Andre's revenge, going after Bundy and taking shots at Studd, with the kind of pace that said "we ain't going long". Andre chokes Bundy with his singlet straps, and in a moment of inspired genius, Andre does his double headlock noggin knocker spot....except he does it to Bundy and Atlas! Andre headlocks his own partner because his medically proven concrete head is a more violent weapon than clonking Bundy's head against Studd's! I don't think I've seen that before, and I am in love. 

Atlas hits his big jumping headbutts after tagging in, Bundy misses an awesome fat guy elbowdrop (I'm not sure what I love more: fat guys hitting elbowdrops, or fat guys missing elbowdrops), Atlas misses a dropkick and Bundy hits a splash. Studd gets in and goes right after Andre, which backfires spectacularly. Andre headbutts him from the apron and gets in and starts beating Studd, the pairing the crowd was dying for, and I loved Andre's big boot that sent Studd to the floor. Studd runs Atlas into the ringpost in a cool way, and the visual of Andre being attacked by Studd and Bundy while fighting back before the DQ was killer. Hogan runs out to save and his wedding attire is class (this was the Uncle Elmer wedding episode): leather pants, snakeskin cowboy boots, weight belt cummerbund, tuxedo shirt with the sleeves ripped off, and bowtie. This almost feels like a woman wearing a white gown to someone else's wedding. You can't upstage the groom like this, my man.

Andre the Giant/Hillbilly Jim vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy WWF 11/10/85 - GREAT

ER: This was a main event attraction on an otherwise dull Maple Leaf Gardens show. Dino Bravo vs. Nikolai Volkoff was the big Canadian attraction, and the undercard was filled with Tony Parisi and Terry Gibbs and Ron Shaw. But then you get THIS match between maybe the four biggest guys on the roster and it's not some quickie affair. There are some really big moments and the structure was not what I expected. It's starts with Andre/Studd, and Andre backs him into the corner to flatten him. But pretty quickly, Studd gets a knee up right into Andre's back, and we get a long very fun stretch of Andre in peril. I hadn't crossed my mind that we'd get Andre in peril as the bulk of the match, as my first guess had been WWF's typical heel in peril formula that they used a lot in this era, and after that would have guessed a Hillbilly in peril. 

So Andre takes some nice clubbing shots from Studd, hitting Andre's chest with his left arm and Andre's back with his right arm. Studd and Bundy are good at clubbing on Andre while avoiding anything bigger, and Andre is great at selling like he's in actual danger without any of the dangerous things hitting. For example, Bundy tags in and smacks Andre around in the corner, but when he runs back in to try and avalanche Andre gets a boot up, sending Bundy bumping back towards Studd in a fun way. Bundy also misses a big elbow drop, so Andre has been established as taking a bunch of damage but hasn't been hit with anything big. He tries to tie Studd up with a bearhug and eventually we get our Hillbilly hot tag, which isn't as good as it should be. 

But it all builds to a truly great finish, as we get an Andre tied in the ropes spot done in a way I've never seen done before: Bundy and Studd tie Andre up on the apron, with Andre facing toward the crowd, sitting on the apron. That's a cool unique visual to the classic Andre trapped spot, and then Studd just brains Andre with the ringside timekeeper's table. It was a sturdy wooden table and made a big PLONK sound on Andre's head, and they do an all time great stretcher job for Andre. Andre is lying motionless at ringside for over 5 minutes, and it was convincing enough that it was clearly fooling more than just children. If I had seen this in my teens I would have bought it entirely. It takes forever to get Andre out of there, and that helps with the realism. Total big time angle that somehow was ONLY used to set up a return house show, even though I don't think I've ever seen someone lay out Andre to this degree. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE 305 LIVE

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New Footage Friday: ANDRE, ANDRE, ANDRE (and Tom Magee)

Andre the Giant vs. Jerry Blackwell AWA 11/2/80

MD: I knew we had this JIP, but we had less of it than I thought. What we basically had before was Andre's last comeback and the finish. It stood out, however. Why? because in those few minutes we had 1980 Andre, far more agile than he would be a few years later but closer to the wide-as-well-as-tall giant physique than what he was a few years earlier, taking that back-body drop which is one of those life-changing wrestling spots you never, ever forget.

Blackwell's amazing. There are people who weren't born until after he died in 1995 that will see this match because of the Network and get some sense of it. That makes me happy. I was barely familiar with him until the DVDVR AWA set. He's this amazing mix of size, preternatural physical speed and prowess, and the wherewithal to balance his the threat of his size with comedic timing. He's both dangerous and hugely giving.

What we missed when we just had the back body drop and the slam was some really good wrestling, including the second most impressive and memorable spot in the match, when Blackwell held on to a top wristlock as Andre threw him over his shoulder. It's the sort of thing you'd see all the time in a Ricky Steamboat match and the familiarity helps give it meaning, but two guys this size working that sort of spot took something relatively simple though always cool, and pushed it way over the top.

After Andre took over (absolutely killing Blackwell with chops and headbutts, constantly forcing him out of the ring), I loved the urgency in which Blackwell would try to attack Andre on his his way back in. It gave everything an air of believable desperation.

As much as lore has it that Andre hated other giants, you have to wonder what he thought about Blackwell, being a guy who could work with him like this, that could bump for him like this. I can't imagine Andre, even 1980 Andre, would do a rope running spot with just anyone, and certainly that he would take that back-body drop for just anyone.

ER: I love stuff like this, a regular match but with a $5,000 bodyslam stipulation added in. You don't win the match by bodyslamming your opponent, but you win 5K which is nice incentive. It also means you don't get an entire match of two gigantic guys stuffing their hands into the other's taint, that's just added as sweet delicious icing. I really loved Roger Kent's commentary during the ring intros. When Blackwell is billed at 485 lb. he goes "Blackwell actually gained weight just for this match!" which is an excellent piece of psychology, knowing that Blackwell wolfed down extra buckets of fried chicken just to make himself harder to body slam. And about Andre he says "You might recognize Andre from his appearances on BJ and the Bear, or as Bigfoot." Like people watching at home somehow only knew of Andre as a furry Steve Austin foe. But this is great. Blackwell is good at working Andre over logically, going after his arm (which would conceivably be one of Andre's weak points) and working in some clever spots around Andre's status as unmovable object. My favorite was Andre getting up off the mat while Blackwell was charging in, unaware that Blackwell was charging in, only to see Blackwell run straight into Andre's butt and go recoiling backwards. It felt like Frank Drebin neutralizing a shooter by unknowingly opening a door into him. Andre's big shots look fantastic. His lean back straight right punch across face in the corner is arguably my favorite punch in wrestling. And I dug the few bodyslam teases, with Blackwell inevitably getting squished from falling under Andre. The finish was really cool as once Andre got the slam the fireworks really picked up, Blackwell knowing he could no longer win 5K so just unleashing a nothing to lose attack on him was great, but Andre turns it on him very quick, tosses Blackwell into the ringpost, and then just launches him over the top rope...for the loss!! Blackwell takes a huge bump to the floor, total avalanche. Love this.

PAS: This was a great battle of the giants I didn't know happened and was totally amped to see. Blackwell is basically shaped like a square, like not a human shape and is amazingly agile for a guy who looks like he should be stuck in a Rascal Scooter. That Andre backdrop was amazing, can't believe he got him up and he landed like that. Blackwell lifting Andre for the slam and getting engulfed was awesome, it looked like a ghost being eaten by Pac-Man. I thought some of the mat stuff was a bit slow, but still this delivered what you wanted it to.


Andre The Giant/Hulk Hogan vs. Bobby Heenan/Nick Bockwinkel/Bobby Duncum/Ken Patera AWA 11/7/82

MD: If you could only pick three matches to express to people exactly what the AWA was in the first half of the 80s, this could be one. You can see so clearly here some of the homesy elements that Hogan took with him to New York and that helped defined the entire era to come. Andre got in on the dance, basically being Dancing Andre during the times they were in charge. The fans were hot for everything they did and they were elated to shout weasel at Heenan. Bockwinkel was absolutely amazing just always being a presence in the match (the other guys were too but he stood out to me; there was one moment where he was on his way out of the ring after getting thumped by Andre where he tried this kick out nowhere to Andre's legs, just always so present in the match). There was double face-in-peril. The comeback was hot but maybe wore out its welcome a bit (not that the fans cared). I liked the structure, where the numbers game finally overwhelmed Andre though Hogan could take on one at a time in the meantime. Then, when Andre got worn down, they could work on Hogan a bit too, all til Heenan got over confident and dared to face Andre. The second FIP was focused on Hogan's previously-injured arm so everything made sense despite the feeling of constant over the top (and like I said, sometimes hokey in that charming AWA way) chaos. The most fun you'll have watching wrestling this week.

PAS: This was four great pinballs being bounced around by two of the greatest paddles in wrestling history. Loved all of the heels running right into Andre and Hogan and getting consistently repelled. When they finally get Andre on his back they swarm like ants on a leftover french fry, only to the have the Hulkster run wild on them. Heenan was a wild bumper as one would expect, and Bockwinkle was great at sneaking in a shot or two. Wholly satisfying wrestling, which sold a ticket to everyone in the arena for future permutations of this feud.

Andre The Giant vs. Big John Studd WWF 7/20/84

MD: As best as I can tell, next week will be the one year anniversary of us doing New Footage Fridays. We've done at least three matches every week for a year. There's a ton of new or very rare footage that has been uncovered in the last year that we haven't even gotten to yet. Let me put it this way, just from Japanese handhelds and some older years of Japanese TV alone, we could do this for another year; just with what we have right now.

This is all the writing I've done for the site this year and most of the wrestling I've watched this year, and it's one of the best experiences I've had in a couple of decades of interacting with other people online about wrestling. It's been a great time searching for footage, checking with people to see if it's new, scanning through it to see if it's worth talking about, and then seeing what Phil and Eric have to say about it too. With a lot of the non-network matches, we're not just reviewing but also highlighting so others can watch as well. I can't speak for the other two (though I bet I speak more for Eric than Phil on this one), but I love when we get comments and people tell us what they think about the matches we're dredging up. We don't get enough. Chime in. It's appreciated.

All that said, I'd like to introduce everyone to the hill I am going to die on this week: Big John Studd. Studd is, I think, one of the most wildly underrated wrestlers of all time. He's not a total package like Eric's Berzerker-era Nord. In fact, one element of his game is actually quite flawed and I'll get to that. It's more the case that he's one of the biggest victims in history of workrate primacy and the undervaluing of stalling and stooging that afflicted wrestling writing and thought for much of the last forty years.

Studd more often than not is the world's largest Larry Zbyszko. He's a heat-generating magnet, made all the more so by the fact he's so damn big and so damn powerful. He's a giant. Even facing another giant, there's massive dissonance in the idea that he's going to take five minutes walking around the ring jawing with fans or that he'll do everything he can to avoid a lock-up. That's part of what made it all so brilliant. This isn't base laziness. It's premeditated and effective.

This match is as perfect an example as you'll get. He absolutely takes his time getting in, making at least one full, languid, rotation of the ring, interacting with the fans, taunting Andre, drawing heat. The second he starts to get in, Andre is on top of him. This is a return match (though the return was a few months and other shows in the making) so everything was primed and the fans absolutely love Andre not letting Studd do what he wanted to do. That loops us right into the second half of the Memphis-equation, the stooging. If the stalling is the build, the stooging is the payoff. Studd sells everything happening in the ring as only a guy his size could, with massive limbs flailing and body bouncing all over the place, gigantic recoil. His robe ends up over his head. This never aired. It has no commentary. It was filmed to potentially air (much of this show ended up on TV or on videotapes) and they occasionally cut to members of the crowd looking absolutely delighted. As good as Andre was at being Andre, that's not him. That's all Studd.

When Studd takes a powder out to the floor and is surrounded by the crowd, the two cops come down to stand on either side of him. The visual is striking. Everyone's so much smaller than Studd and here he is, running away, in hostile territory, Gulliver in the land of the Lilliputians, and he needs these two tiny cops to protect him from all the other tiny people. People are most affected by things when there is a gap between their expectations and reality; that's John Studd in a nutshell and it works.

Where it falls apart, generally, is when he takes over on offense. Some of his stuff, the clubbering, some of the intensity with the choking, is really good, but it almost always settles down into a bearhug or a chinlock and Studd, while so good at giving and giving and giving, at delaying and delivering with his stooging, wasn't great at making his holds compelling when he was on top. Someone like Flair or Bockwinkel absolutely were, and even a guy like Zbyszko could take that first half of his act and pay it forward into the second part. Studd couldn't or wouldn't. That's half of the problem. It's what people remember. It's what stands out because it falls later in the match. Even so, the fans were completely into Andre's comeback (so much of that based on the heat that Studd had drawn previously in the match) and it all finished both definitively and well.

Like I said, the chinlock was half the problem. Only half. The other half is the workrate bit. We spent decades in a dark age where stalling was frowned upon as the opposite of everything wrestling should be. Why care about the acting in a movie when there are special effects to look at, right? They're flashier. They involve less thought and less nuance. People have turned the corner on wrestlers like Lawler and Zbyszko. Studd isn't on that same level. He's only half the act, but I feel like it's time he finally got proper credit for that half, which was truly exceptional. That's the hill I'm standing on. Shoot your arrows accordingly.

ER: I think I was more excited for Matt's review of this match, than I was about the match itself. I think I have had upwards of 5 different conversations with Matt about Big John Studd: Giant Stalling Stooge, and he's been absolutely dying to tell all of you about it at length, and I'm happy we finally got there. The match itself was short and fun, but Studd's stalling really was memorable. Look at his faces as he stalks the ring, watch the fans and his reactions to the fans as he retreats deep into the aisle. I also liked the twist on Andre getting trapped in the ropes, with Studd beating him into place instead of Andre falling and letting gravity trap him. But the real satisfaction comes when Andre unleashes his payback and splats him with his butt, crowd going even more nuts for an Andre comeback because of Studd being such a weenie for so much of the match. I really loved the optical illusion of these two hulking dudes battling in the corner, as it really looked like the ring posts were going to bend and collapse.

Bret Hart vs. Tom Magee WWF 10/7/86

ER: I finally got around to watching the mini doc on this match, and it was a fun little piece of history. WWE taking the time to film people talking about this match that only the nerdiest of wrestling nerds would know about really feels closer to Phil writing up every PWFG show or me writing up every Berzerker match than anything else WWE has ever done. Think of the man power they utilized and the quick turnaround time to get all of this filmed. The idea that they would bug Bret in 2019 to ask him to talk about a 4 minute match from over 30 years ago is such a joy. A 30 minute doc on a short match involving a guy who 99% of modern WWE fans have never even heard about who has no involvement in any way with pro wrestling since the 80s is like getting a 30 minute documentary about the cop's brutally bad fake mustache at the end of Sleepaway Camp. But I thought they did a really excellent job at highlighting this kind of lost footnote, thought Waltman had some nice insight, thought DBS Jr.'s Bret impression was tremendous, and was only disappointed that we didn't get any comments from Bret or Magee after we had seen the match. Magee came off down to earth, totally cool with the fact that wrestling wasn't for him, and I loved his note that they shielded him from all of that "next Hogan" talk. 

The match itself was the same kind of thing we saw Bret do for 25 years. It was very clear that Magee had no offense whatsoever outside of his dropkick (which Bret made look especially great during the spot in the corner where he took two, crashed hard into the mat and rolled to the floor to take off). It was amusing seeing Magee take extra long to pick Hart up off the mat, only to pause and just do an inside cradle or a small package. Hart was patient and polite while looking downright mean. When he puts the boots to Magee he's fully protecting him while looking like he's toeing him right in the eye. He even handles Magee not moving out of the way of a second rope elbow that was clearly supposed to miss, going right back on the attack and planning what the actual finish should be. You could see Magee's specific potential, see his freak athletic gifts, in the way he casually leapfrogs over Bret. I don't think I've ever seen a leapfrog look so effortless. It looked far more like Hong Kong wire fighting than Magee actually using his legs to leap over Bret, and his sunset flip was genuinely great, keeping a really tight roll so that the physics of it make sense. Bret's chest first bump into the corner is probably one of my top 3 favorite bumps in wrestling, always looking like his skeleton should be permanently wrecked each time. We knew this wasn't going to be any kind of classic, but not a single soul cared about that. The fact that we got to see this fun historical footnote while getting a neat story out of it was really special.

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All Japan Motherload - Terry Funk vs. Masked White Dinguses

Terry Funk vs. The Asteroid - AJPW 10/29/80

ER: In which Bill Irwin wears his Super Destroyer mask and inexplicably works as THE ASTEROID; proceeds to get quietest crowd reaction during ring intros that you have ever heard. Match is JIP and we cut to a gassed Irwin holding a headlock on Funk. And for a match largely controlled by Asteroid this was fun, and got really good by the end when they're throwing great punches at each other. For his part, Irwin brought size, actual snug headlocks (and Funk is a guy who knows how to put over a nice headlock), and then finally throws down with Funk. Once Funk starts laying in the punches it rules and Irwin doesn't embarrass himself. The final two minutes are great with big punches, Irwin taking a nice backdrop, Funk trying to rip Asteroid's mask off, and then hitting a huge butterfly suplex on a large dude. No idea why Irwin thought being called The Asteroid was a cool idea.



Terry Funk/Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Jack Brisco/The Avenger - AJPW 4/27/81

ER: The Avenger is Moose Morowski, who is a name you read and go ohhhhhh yeahhhhh but really have no idea who he is/was. But that name seems like a name you've seen before, somewhere. It's possible he was a villain in some sort of Archie comics universe. Brisco seems thoroughly apathetic towards his partner. This match was all about Brisco doing Brisco-y things, which can be both interesting, unique, and entirely robotic and boring. Funk is hilarious trying to get Jumbo to crack before the bell, as Jumbo clearly wants to start but Funk keeps offering, and eventually Jumbo starts shoving Funk towards the apron. Funk's comic timing is great here as Jumbo would nudge him to the apron and right when Jumbo would turn around Funk would be back in offering to start the tag. Match is basically a bunch of leg work until Avenger taps to the spinning toe hold, while Brisco stands on the apron within reach, opting not to save him. Funk has some cool indian deathlocks and really hams it up spinning into them. Regarding Brisco being both unique and annoying, I like how he actually takes moves more realisitically (within a pro wrestling universe framework). This means no flat back bumps, more believable reactions, not going down on dropkicks but instead being sent stumbling, getting knocked sideways on shoulder blocks. It wasn't realistic in an MMA sense, but pro wrestling real, in the way prime Akira Taue would take offense. When he would do his amateur stuff it also looked really great, namely when Funk was trying to scramble for a tag and Brisco kept blocking him with a front headlock and wide base. It looked awesome. The negative is a lot of Brisco's stuff looks weak, or unfocused. He'll just grab a leg with no real plan, and then Funk just kicks him, with Brisco somehow not planning on Funk using his other limbs. And while sometimes his bumps off shoulderblocks look more real, other times it just looks like him wussing out of them. He rolls away from Jumbo's a little too early, which makes it hilarious when Funk hits him flush with one directly after. For his part, Avenger puts over Funk's leg locks GREAT, yelling and begging through his mask, screaming and putting over the pain. The guy was the most obvious sitting duck on the card, but at least he worked with what he got.



Terry Funk/Dick Murdoch vs. Big John Studd/The Asteroid - AJPW 11/80

ER: Big John Studd was maybe the weirdest guy booked as a giant. Maybe Big Dick Dudley. But Studd never looked much bigger than his opponents, and had a much more slender build than most of them. Here he looked the same exact size and build as Edge. It seriously just looked like Edge working bearhugs and entering the ring over the top rope. It says a lot about styles guys choose to work, as so often you'd hear Edge described as a smaller guy, but it was entirely because he had an awful flimsy moveset. Studd lumbers, clubs and works bearhugs while being the size of Edge, and people presumably bought him as a giant. It's always confused me. Even as a child I didn't understand what was supposed to be a big deal when Andre slammed him. He looked no larger than a couple dozen of the other guys in the WWF. The whole match was worked around Studd getting Terry and Murdoch in a bearhug. I'm a sucker for bearhug spots and you won't find many guys who sell a bearhug better than Terry and Dick. Dick is great regularly rearing back to punch but then getting squeezed back into submission. Terry is even better because he punches Studd right in the face a couple times in a way that Studd did not seem to expect. Funk really smashes him right in the eye, then throws some of the best body blows you've ever seen. And thanks to the internet, the world now has MULTIPLE Asteroid matches floating through its galaxy. The Asteroid does not look very good.  Neil Degrasse Tyson seems to think Earth is overdue to be hit by an asteroid, but thanks to this footage we already know that it actually happened 35 years ago, and we also know that it got deflected by Terry Funk doing the worst spinning toe hold he's ever done.

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