Found Footage Friday: WWE IN AUSTRALIA~! BABE FACE~! FANTASMA~! SUPER ASTRO~! SCORPIO~! SATANICO~! EMILIO~!

Super Astro/Fantasma vs. Babe Face/Scorpio WWA Olympic Auditorium 09/12/87

MD: This has been sitting in plain sight for a few years but was thankfully was brought to light by the Wrestling Playlists newsletter recently. It hits so many of the marks you'd want with four very talented wrestlers doing their thing in a slightly alien place for slightly alien promotion. Super Astro is this tightly contained ball of energy, a little shorter than his peers, a little stockier than you'd expect, but it's almost like there's a wick counting down on him and he's always ready to explode. It gives his roles and vaults and stylized tricks an extra bit of oomph. They're things that would be impressive regardless but with him it's all somehow supercharged, and Scorpio, bald and wide and spry took it all so well. He shoved Fantasma before the bell and Fantasma bounced back off the ropes and shoved him back, causing him to bump huge. That's just the sort of guy Scorpio was.

I wouldn't say this had a rudo ref so much as the rudo was holding the tecnicos to far higher standards. That meant they withheld tags in a way that you don't usually see in lucha (though the out of the ring rule was definitely in play) and it allowed the rudos to stay in charge in the primera. That built the pressure for the comeback, even through the end of the fall and a nice double takover onto Fantasma and subsequent submission. You can tell the pressure was up beacuse there was an upset Granny at ringside. 

It was interesting because they used the ref taking back/not allowing tags to build heat but the moment of comeback was wholly within the ring on a bit of rudo miscommunication. From there things went even with it looking like the tecnicos might get swept under again only to outquick and outslick the rudos, all building to Astro knocking Scorpio out and landing on him with a senton through the ropes to the floor. Brutal stuff and Scorpio either bladed or got bust open. Either way, he was a bloody mess. That was the equalizer as simultaneously Fantasma was doing a ridiculous submission in Tombstone position on Babe Face (who I have less to say about here but he was perfectly fine in his role).

The tercera was full of the sort of great exchanges you'd expect until Scorpio was able to go behind on Fantasma off the ropes, using his momentum to push him through the ropes and right into a waiting chairshot from Babe Face. From there it was an academic 2-on-1 with them picking up Astro repeatedly after having him beat. That sort of hubris didn't lead to comeuppance though as they finished him off after one of Babe Face's great off-center running sentons and a nasty legdrop from Scorpio. I'm sure this led to some phenomenal return match we don't have, but at least we have this.

ER: You show up for a match like this to see what Super Astro might do, but then you leave getting to see  stocky rudo toughness from Babe Face and Scorpio. Super Astro is must watch in any setting. You're always going to get something worth writing about. Imagine seeing this stocky little guy in LA doing a slingshot senton to the floor in 1987. It's great. But this is a match that makes you want to watch more Babe Face and Scorpio. Scorpio Sr.! I have not seen much Scorpio Sr. He is as ugly as his son in a completely different way, more hideous monster way. He also looks like the perfect wrestler. Wide, round, ugly, bald, cocky. He's got a fat buff guy or buff fat guy body squeezed into a red King Kong Bundy double strap that you wish could be pulled off as well in modern wrestling but everyone is shaped wrong. Babe Face, it turns out, also has a perfect pro wrestling physique. He is stocky and muscular and compact and powerful. He's Bill Dundee with 20 pounds of thick bulk. He is one of three of the smallest most powerful men, wrestling inside of the largest ring in wrestling history. You fill not believe how long it takes Super Astro to run ropes in this ring. It's incredible. 

We all love Super Astro and we love the way he is in a competition with himself to take higher back body drops. But this hits peaks whenever Babe Face or Scorpio are throwing punches and chops and headbutts. Babe Face headbutts Super Astro in the eye socket to force a tag out and I thought we were going to get a bloody mask hole Super Astro match. He is stocky rudo cocktease, pouncing Astro to the floor to interrupt a dive, cameras catching a great close up of Scorpio's mug before he overhand chops Astro out of his boots. Things build throughout to big Babe Face/Fantasma showdowns, until Babe Face fucking BRAINS Fantasma with an open folding chair to the top of the head while Fantasma was draped over the ropes. The announcers say something about Intrepidos Punks, so either they're describing these two stocky men of differing beauty, or they're advertising the late 80s movie of the same name and either way makes this great. Los Intrepidos Punks lay a fucking beating on Astro while Fantasma's corpse is under the ropes, slapping him back and forth, Babe Face hitting full weight sentons, kneeling on his chest and groin while Scorpio holds a legdrop like the most smug sideburn asshole.  

I liked Fantasma's aggressively pistoning 69 bearhug. 

Emilio Charles vs. Satanico [hair vs hair] CMLL 3/20/98? 

MD: Pretty unique hair match here though one that hits a lot of the right notes despite that and despite some goofiness. As best as I can tell, this is rudo vs. rudo though Charles is the clear crowd favorite. Satanico gets an early ambush and starts dismantling Charles like only he can. No one is better in the history of wrestling at orchestrating violence, including his own. The bump Charles takes into the third row, head over heels, is excellent. Charles starts to mount some comebacks (including one really nice Fujiwara armbar reversal out of a grounded abdominal stretch that's lucha loose but symbolically perfect) but the ref (who apparently he hit the week before?) seems to get in his way each time and Satanico finally gets the caida on a backslide with a fast count.

That causes Charles to start complaining to the commission. Rey Mendoza is out there and says that Charles has a stipulation in his contract that he can call for a change in ref so Babe Richard comes out to take over. Meanwhile, Charles is unloading on Satanico, including tossing him into the crowd. Satanico is able to sneak in a foul though and locks in the Satan's Knot. That seems like the end and the end to Charles' hair, but he gets lost in the moment and refuses to let go and the ref awards the caida to Charles. So it's a bit of an odd dynamic with the ref switch and Satanico basically winning the second fall only to have it overturned. It all gets paid off in the tercera with Charles getting a foul in of his own and everything building to another Satan's Knot only for Charles to fight his way out of it and lock in this great Gory Special (where he has to slowly bring his hands together) before dropping down with it into a pin. I wouldn't call this the most primal match or the quickest path between two points but these guys were so good and they made this work so well for what it was.

ER: The ugliest default babyface fighting dirty through getting punched in the forehead and thrown into the third row by the devil. Satan himself throwing short punches aimed to open up an ugly man's forehead and biting him. I love situations where Charles became the tecnico. He is good at working through tecnico stages of a three fall match, peaking the reactions in the tercera and getting bigger reactions with consecutive quebradoras while the crowd loudly hates Satanico for breaking holds with biting at men's thighs. The devil fights dirty when the devil's beautiful head of hair is at stake. Satanico is a great rudo because he also wrestlers through submissions like the tecnico, pulling each limb with celebratory swipes like he's an Olympic runner raising both arms through the finish line. It makes Charles' win, through a biased ref and the persistent devil himself, even more of an ugly man tecnico triumph. I thought the execution on Charles' tercera-winning Gory Special was so good for this specific match. A fought for Gary, Charles' hands clasped, drawing out the inescapable backslide. 

It didn't get as violent as I expected it would, for a match I knew nothing about. When you start with Satanico biting and punching at a cut you expect escalation and that violent escalation never comes. We also don't get the actual haircutting. Satanico knew that he looked like a totally different badass when he had his head shaved and I wanted to see what that looked like at 50.  

Batista/Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit vs. Triple H/Ric Flair/Edge WWE 4/8/05

MD: New Richard Land Handheld from Australia right after Wrestlemania 21. Some of those names should worry you for a 50 minute clip, maybe, but this is house show bullshit and that's the best bullshit there is. Plus it's about ten minutes of entrances and pre-match talking and ten minutes of them breaking down the ring. I thought I was going to be taking one for the team here but I had fun with this. The pre-match yapping was ridiculous with Triple H going on about how terrible Australia was and how in America they had an army that could kick their asses, the Salvation Army. Basically the most definitional Triple H stuff imaginable. Batista's retort was short and sweet (he had just won the title), and the crowd was hot for all of this really.

All of the early exchanges were fun. Benoit and Edge started. Benoit chopped Edge out of the corner. Edge went for a tag. Both Triple H and Flair dropped down to avoid it. Jericho came in and Batista and Benoit cheerlead the crowd in a Y2J chant. Flair came in, had a chop off with Jericho so the fans could chant woo and then walked into the babyface corner to eat a bunch of punches and take the first flop (of many) of the night. Jericho grabbed a sign and paraded around with it. Batista came in. Flair eyepoked him and chopped him. Batista no sold it. Flair begged off. Batista waggled his finger. Flair took his second back body drop. Triple H came in. The crowd went up for the idea of them going at it. Flair wooed at Batista from the corner repeatedly. Batista posed and the crowd went nuts. Triple H won on a shoulder block exchange and posed. They milked a test of strength for a while before doing it. Triple H kicked Batista, drove him down. Batista fought back up and clotheslined Triple H over the top and the crowd loved every second of all of this. Truly entertaining house show BS, what much, much more of wrestling should be and what a lot of the times it isn't in a world where these barely exist anymore.

Again, this had a ton of time and they worked double heat on it. Jericho was drawn into the heel corner and when he came back and made a hot tag, Benoit came in hot for a bit only to miss the diving headbutt. Eventually, Triple H had Benoit down in the corner but got distracted by Batista and leaped right into a foot, wherein he spent an entire minute (not a second less) standing there looking at the lights dazed before flopping. Only on a house show. I'm actually not sure that spot hit as well as it could have but points for committing to the bit certainly. That let Batista make it in finally, let everything break down, and let Edge eat the power bomb (thumbs down beforehand) to end the match. I don't know if I would have seen this same match around the loop but to see it one time was honestly a lot of fun. Just a totally different world that barely exists anymore. And we're talking 2005, not 1985 here.

ER: We've been doing - and Matt's been running entirely - Found Footage Friday for over a decade now. It's probably the most valuable thing we've done because it preserves at least 1-3 different takes on footage that none of us as fans had ever seen before. In many cases, we've written about matches that can get newly added into a Greatest Matches discussion, 40 years later. New narratives, new looks, new opportunities to have views changed. It's an incredible resource, constantly growing. This week alone we have a new apuestas match, new Babe Face...and now a new 30 minute match with SC stalwarts like HHH and Edge and Chris Benoit. 

People love our HHH writing, and this is the match for those people. This is an essential HHH match for HHH fans, because not only did all 30 minutes feel completely laid out by HHH, but all six men wrestle like HHH from different eras of his career. This is a match agented, produced, and then wrestled by six HHHs. Jericho wrestles like Terra Ryzing, Batista wrestles like HHH did when he came back gassed up after the quad tear, Benoit sells like HHH in a way that you know it won't lead anywhere, Flair is slowed down so he wrestles like HHH during that long era of bloated HHH aping Flair spots, Edge wrestles like the worst version of 1998 bad Opponents' Momentum offense HHH, and HHH wrestles like some unholy house show HHH amalgam that includes a long comedy spot that he doesn't know how to make resonate but he 100% would have gotten anyone else fired over.

This was a HHH match in every way, and it was good. There is so much wrestling I've never watched and so much wrestling I never will watch but I love Matt, and Matt got me to watch a 30 minute HHH/HHH/HHH vs. HHH/HHH/HHH in Australia, because HHH - with his meaty nose and heavy brow beadying his eyes - is like Bruno at MSG to Australians.  

Seeing Flair work the brunt of a long house show match was surprisingly fun. HHH could never connect his in-ring comedy to a crowd like this, and we get a literal example of that during what should have been the crowd noise peak. Flair's punches looked fantastic throughout, and even though he enters the match in control he's soon taking a back body drop and it leads to a fantastic Flair spot, where he rolls up in the babyface corner, eats a headbutt from Benoit and a punch from Batista, hops around like he's getting back into the fight, then flops. Flair takes another back body drop when Batista tags in, classically begging off before poking him in the eyes, but none of his chops have any affect and he's soon flopping and back dropping and leaving down the aisle. It's the kind of ass showing that HHH admires about Flair, but could never bring himself to actually look weak enough for the extended periods that make the stooging work, meaning it always came off like Stooging While Still in Control and never worked. After Benoit gets his hand smashed with a chair (nasty business smashing it against a ringpost) and gets cut off, the long heat segment builds to Benoit's hot tag, but the entire tag is iced out by HHH doing a full minute of Working On Material that sounds great on paper but gets no reaction live. 

HHH leaps off the middle buckle into Benoit's up-stretched boot and stands there on his feet, selling and swaying, for exactly one minute. You can picture Larry Sweeney doing this spot and burning the house down, knowing the exact moment to grind an entire match to a halt for one self-aggrandizing spot, and how much HHH would fucking BURY anyone else who did that spot, regardless of how well it got over. To see HHH pull out a 2006 Chikara spot on a house show and get no reaction for it is the wrestling equivalent to a gay bashing Republican getting caught in a rest stop bathroom, all secret unfulfilled urges and embarrassing missteps. It's as clear as day that HHH would brand anyone else who tried this much of a comedy overreach a mark who isn't serious about the business that he's devoted his life to. Six different HHHs in one match, and the real HHH is the one desperate to show his chops as a comedy worker that didn't understand punchlines

Great match. The kind of match you can put on after a Gene Snitsky/Shelton Benjamin title match.

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New Footage Finlay: TAYLOR~! KNIGHT~! UNDERTAKER~! LASHLEY~! BATISTA~! BOOKER~!

Fit Finlay vs. Dave Taylor Portsmouth 3/14/95 - GREAT

MD: Say what you will about 21st century UK crowds, but these fans were pretty great on this night in 1995. I would have loved to be in there with them taunting Finlay and chanting for "Rocky" Taylor, all with this amazing familiarity. If the crowd was the star, the wrestlers more than held up their own. Finlay was opportunistic and unafraid to stooge but hit hard and riled the crowd up accordingly. Taylor was fiery and sympathetic with big comebacks. The finish was abrupt, a missed charge in the corner and a lightning-fast Fujiwara Armbar which is not something I usually think of as a finish to Finlay matches but it worked and it's almost a shame he didn't use it more often as a way to keep everyone on their toes.

PAS: This was a blast, a chance to see what these two could do with a big of time on a house show. Finlay was a big hitter as usual and Taylor keeps right up with him. That Taylor press slam was a killer spot, and I loved the flash Finlay Fujiwara armbar as a finish, can you imagine how much your shoulder would hurt with Fit fucking Finlay yanking up on it. 

Finlay/Mr. Kennedy/King Booker vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley/Undertaker WWE 10/22/06 - GREAT

MD: Batista's dad is the son of Filipino immigrants and this was a huge homecoming for him. There were moments (like the entrances) where it felt like WWE thought Undertaker might be the bigger star, and I do sort of wonder if Taker switched a few things around mid-match. In general though, it was a fairly big bomb house show main event with a heel side that was outmatched by the face side and that stooged accordingly. Booker, during this period, had such a unique, pronounced way of doing, while Finlay was able to draw upon some of his timing and tricks from his heel run twenty years earlier. We saw less of that in his "I love to fight" 00s run, but it makes complete sense against these opponents. The heels didn't want to get in there against any of them, and while there was begrudgingly loyalty to Booker, there wasn't respect or real deference. They worked in mini-heat segment on Batista, just to get the crowd riled, but most of this were the heels feeding and stooging, and then some heat on Taker (including Finlay being very effective at believably keeping control through constant grinding) to set up the big hot tag to Batista and the finish. The post-match, with Dave hamming it up, including that one last run into the ring, was great pro wrestling.

PAS: These kind of house show matches are so entertaining. Just big stars working a tried and true formula and sending the crowd happy. I was surprised at how effective Undertaker was at working face in peril, you wouldn't think that would be a skill he would have a lot of time to practice. Booker and Finlay were especially good at working him over, and I dug Booker teasing the Spinaroonie and flipping off the crowd. Batista wasn't as good a heater as I was hoping he would be, but I did love how over he was, and it would have been fun to see a Manilla territory built around him as Carlos Colon.

Fit Finlay vs. JD Knight 4FW 2/25/12 - GREAT

MD: Hey, it's Finlay mauling some poor jerk in front of a UK indy crowd in a No DQ match. All in all, a pretty satisfying beating, though I'm sad they never paid off Finlay picking up the expensive light to hit him with at the top of the ramp. That wasn't even a transition moment, and it led to some other solid brutality, so it's fine, but that would have been a real satisfying thud. Knight did ok working the desperation cheap shots in from underneath and he got to show some toughness in there, and the big affront of hitting Finlay with his own shillelagh to set up the final comeback and the finish, but this was primarily about Finlay beating the heck out of him, down to the insult to injury post-match shot, as it well should have been. Anyone know if we have that bloody Dick Togo match from a prior 4FW show they were talking about on commentary?

PAS: I thought this was an excellent version of the Fit Finlay touring ass kicking show. Little stuff which makes Finlay so class, like grabbing Knight by the chin, or cracking him with the broken chair piece. I wasn't completely enamored by Knight's offense (although the shillelagh shot looked great), but he took some monster bumps, including a big Psicosis corner bump, and a tope directly into a Finlay chair shot (and Finaly really wound up and swung for the fences too).  I do think that ring light was an unshot Chekov's gun, but otherwise this is what you want for a Finlay indy showcase.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE FINLAY

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WRESTLEMANIA 35 LIVE BLOG! 4/7/19

Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

ER: I was surprised at how much I was liking this early, until they got to their beyond stupid slappy Riverdance routine. Before that we got Murphy getting busted open with an errant shot, a couple hard punches, and more of the Buddy that I liked in NXT before 205. At a certain point I did find it amusing that they were doing big nearfalls and last second feet on the ropes spots, and death sell -> sprint superkick stuff in the pre-show opening, but who cares, it's Mania and these guys are in a packed stadium. Do it. The overly rehearsed strike stuff is just so garbage, impossible to look at it and not laugh, and it was really a major turning point of the match. When you choose that kind of dance wank as a major part of the match, you deserve to be laughed at. I did think some of the big things looked good, both suplexes into buckles were nasty and the Nese 450 landed flush, but I wish they would have continued the direction of the first few minutes of the match, instead they went where I thought they would go.

Women's Battle Royal

ER: Good to see they're really doubling down and sticking with the uterus/Fallopian tube trophy. They had a year to get rid of it, and either they kept it on purpose, or just forgot what the trophy was and only took it out of storage when the announce the battle royal a week ago and went "Oh right, the ovaries." And this was an awesome battle royal. This was paced out nicely, had fun moments, some good eliminations, kept eliminations brisk without doing one of those lame as hell 3 minute ones they've done before, this was an easy battle royal thumbs up from me. It's also impressive that we have so many women who are barely 5', and only Dana Brooke's (or that woman who stole Dana Brooke's identity) elimination looked silly. Asuka had a couple cool legsweep eliminations, I liked the Mandy Rose/Mickie battle on the apron (even though I wanted either of them to win), Maria had awesome show curls, Candace had a cool elimination, Lana has a cool new cut and great Wonder Woman outfit, really I liked all of this. Battle royals should be such a simple thing. They're a real wrestling joy for me but a bad one can be just as bad as anything. This was brisk but not short, people paired off well, a simple concept done well.

The Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zach Ryder

ER: I didn't follow how Hawkins and Ryder actually got this match (seems like a match at a single digit Mania that would have been a 3 minute squash for Revival), but I don't mind seeing weird matches at Mania. At the end of the night I'm more likely to like this match that several other things on the card. It's funny to think that these guys were teaming together over a decade ago in WWE. Who had Hawkins and Ryder on a roster for over a decade? I say that as a positive. It's great to have guys like that making money for life. And this match ruled!! This was an excellent little tag match that unexpectedly gets a perfect amount of time and really kept getting great crowd reactions all through. Curt Hawkins turned in a real good underdog babyface performance and the fans really wanted to see him win down the home stretch. That was pretty surprising to me as Revival have been internet favorites for a few years now and finally look to be rising up the card, so you get a kind of interesting crowd vibe of internet favorites vs. hometown guys. Revival are really good at cutting off a ring and all of that was compelling, from their killer Demolition Decapitation to Dawson simply shoving Hawkins into the ropes to punch him on the recoil (shaking out his fist after, naturally), all their cutoffs worked like fire. The breakdown to the match was an awesome car crash, with Wilder hitting a tornado DDT on the floor, Dawson dropping a brainbuster, all nasty stuff. I wasn't actually expecting Hawkins to break the streak here, assumed Revival would be champs for awhile, but it's great to see him get the moment at Mania. This was like the best version of a WCW syndicated tag gem, totally delivered.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

ER: This was a GREAT battle royal!!! It had everything you would need from a battle royal, some big eliminations, fun twists, nice pairings, and a great finish. Everybody was trying to outbump each other on eliminations (all of Lucha House Party took appropriately large spills), EC3 splatted, Andrade eliminated himself and Apollo Crews with a great rana, No Way Jose is now apparently a cyberpunk raver from Strange Days, even Braun (looking lean and mean as hell) took a sick bump to the floor by way of ringpost introduction. You had a few big guys in there throwing down for big moments, and cameras caught Luke Harper staring a hole through Braun while looking past several other guys. All of which built to a nutso spot where Harper gets booted off the apron while suplexing Ali, and takes a bump that could have destroyed both men, leaping backwards and landing on his feet before completing the suplex, sending Ali flying fast face first into the table (barely getting his hand up). My god what an elimination. I also got to see the pairing I most wanted, my two neckless singlet boys Otis and Rhyno going at it. Everybody worked this real aggressive, and it all actually came down to a super effective comedy segment. A comedy segment in wrestling that was actually funny? I thought Jost and Che did a great job. Jost came out sporting a new Odell Beckham Jr. Browns jersey, they both had Team SNL leggings, really all of these TV comedy guys who have been in big WWE moments have totally understood how to work their personality. I laughed when Che tried to grab hands with Jost on the LONG walk to the ring, and the look on Jost's face as he pulls away. Jost calling Braun "Brock" was one of the funnier WWE comedy moments I can remember and their eliminations were ballsy and a great visual, with Braun launching Jost into a forced plancha...but DAMN did they do a great job of making it look like Jost could actually eliminate Braun. I mean it looked like something they might actually do. Every part of this match was handled excellently, one of their best battle royals in ages. Loved it.

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

ER: They wisely put a bunch of pinks and purples on the entrance screens for Brock, which distracts from how pink and purple he is. This match has essentially the same structure as Brock/Balor, and was good, though not as effective. There were nice twists and turns in the former match, this match really didn't have any extra twists, and Rollins didn't execute the turning point ball punch as well as we've seen Bryan do it. So in a vacuum I liked this a lot, but coming after the Bryan and Balor matches it doesn't feel as special. But we get Brock absolutely destroying Rollins to start the match, attacking with tough strikes, splatting him with F5, tossing him hard into the barricade and ring, literally bouncing him across an announce table like he was skipping stones, tossing him over the top to the floor, all looking brutal. Before the bell even rings Rollins has major welts on his back. Suplex City was fun and gave us more good angles of Rollins' welts, and Brock was super game bouncing his forehead hard off the mat on every single curbstomp, but I'm just going to need a LOT more to beat Brock. Finn suitably increased how hard he hit his offense, and while Rollins bumped like a freaking man the whole match, I didn't buy Brock being felled by a few stomps. The best part of the stomps was Lesnar taking them, and Lesnar selling them like they were something that *should* put him down. Lesnar is one of our best sellers, I just wanted more of it.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

ER: This weirdly feels like a match we've seen a ton, even though I don't think we've actually seen it that much. All of this was professional while being completely uninteresting to me. Neither guy looked bad, everything looked fine, just wasn't the vibe I wanted and it felt more dull than it should have felt. There were maybe a couple more slow moments and I guess the fans just absolutely not wanting that. I wasn't wanting whatever they were doing either. It didn't feel like anyone was working up to any moment, even though they didn't really make missteps.

Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

ER: Black is wearing his Necronomicon vest that looks tremendous. And this match was a nice tasty snack; nothing significant, but a nice palette cleanser after fans kinda died off during the previous match. Cesaro showed off his Chikara skills by helping Ricochet shine, Sheamus looks like an absolute monster especially when he folds Ricochet on a brogue kick. Nakamura works with some actual energy, Usos bump big, Black looks like a guy who is going to be a major roster star, we get the 630, it's fun. This felt like an inconsequential Smackdown match, and that's just fine.

I see neon green shirt fan wore a dark shirt to the HOF ceremony. I like how he honors the sanctimony of the gala. Acts bored front row center on every other show, but the HOF is something sacred.

Falls Count Anywhere: Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

ER: Shane starts the match with some cardio, a bold move for a man who always looks like he's about to have a heart attack at a softball game. And I really wasn't expecting this one to be match of the night so far, but here we are. Shane always has that "Dad, look at me!" kid on a diving board personality in his matches, and that works even better as a heel for me. He absolutely beats the shit out of Miz here, shies away from doing his stupid fast punches that always look risible, instead focusing on short measured shots that landed hard. He was really socking Miz in the kidneys and the cheek, threw a couple hard kicks right at Miz' jaw, even smacking him with a mule kick. The Miz Dad involvement was really well done, Shane still stiffed him too, and it opened right up into a great Miz comeback. Once Miz takes over though Shane's shots become sparse and the bumps become big, Shane taking some of his most impressive pratfalls, Miz jumping him over the barricade, tossing him into railings and on the floor, Shane gets kicked off a structure and hits the back of his head on a railing, gets tossed off a ramp onto a golf cart to the floor (a really nasty high bump that he either lost control of or was stupid enough to plan it that way). Really all the big bumps felt like something went vaguely wrong, in the best way. I loved Shane splatting on the SCF, and the mammoth vertical suplex felt like an appropriately stupid Shane spot to potentially end his life. This was an excellent overdelivery.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. The Iiconics vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix

ER: Well this is kinda dull. Natalya and Phoenix are just dragging this pace down, really not a team I'm interested in seeing. This whole thing was desert dry. Nia and Tamina disappeared for half of it after Nia got run into the steps, and the other teams couldn't match the excitement level that would have come from Nia being in it. The rest of them worked very same-y and Nia in her brief participation made things much more exciting. I think the Iiconics make the most sense with the belts, and while they still stink in the ring I've really been enjoying their promos and mannerisms lately. Them getting chased is way more interesting than the other options. The match was nothing to see though.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston

ER: Nuts to think that for seemingly years people filled their diapers online about how Bryan needed to be champion at Mania, and now those people are all dying for Bryan to lose the World title at Mania. I wouldn't have guessed ANYone would ever be higher than Bryan in the internet's eyes, but if I did I certainly wouldn't have bet on Kofi Kingston to be that guy. Nobody was clamoring for a Kofi Kingston World Title run 4 months ago. Nobody was demanding a main event singles run from Kofi. These people don't know what they want. I've been a big fan of Rowan's metal band shirt selection, saw him sporting Kreator a week ago. So him crossing over into horror films is a nice move. George A. Romero now has a WrestleMania reference under his belt. And this was good! We expected this to be good. Bryan is a main event megastar. I've seen him in matches where he knew exactly what to do in front of 70 fans, and here he is an absolute master at working in front of 70,000 fans. This had a feeling like it was going to be Kofi's big moment, and you could see what an awesome hand Bryan had in that. Excellent pacing and build, with big moments playing big. Kofi had a couple cool nearfalls off of flash roll ups, Bryan had a couple cool reversals into the Yes Lock, Kofi leaned into all of Bryan's crisp offense, Bryan snapped off some sharp kicks, and fans kept getting more and more into Kofi the longer this went. They really got as much time as they could have possibly wanted to give Kofi a gigantic moment, and Kofi kicking out of the big knee and hitting his best ever Trouble in Paradise (look at how manly Bryan is running face first into that thing) to win the title did it. This was clearly the moment the fans wanted (that they didn't want 4 months ago) and I'm sure giving them the moment will slow down the nitpicking and bitching and use of the phrase "shoved down our throats".

Somewhere, the Outsiders are about to sexually assault Colin Jost and Michael Che.

Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe

ER: Wow, what a drag. This is the first time these two have ever met in a singles match. This could have been a legit show stealer. 1 minute matches with guys like this feels like a specific fuck you to Rey for reasons I don't care about. I was really excited for this one.

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

ER: This was a good enough for a Roman return singles match, but didn't really set out to do a ton to make it interesting. This was worked more like a reintroduction of Reigns, which really isn't necessary, plus he was only gone for 5 months or so. This was a decent enough TV match, but isn't something I'm going to remember in a week.

Batista vs. HHH

ER: This feels weirdly late to get a Fury Road entrance, but maybe 4 years is early for WWE timing. They could have inducted Sid into the HOF and then had him as Lord Humungus during HHH's entrance. I'm bummed that LA Park vs. Rush was a match that didn't happen at Mania (originally the reason Phil and I got the idea to go to Mania), so these 50 year old brawlers will have to make up for me not seeing park throw ring steps off of Rush's head. Batista takes a hard bump into the guardrail and into the steps, HHH bounces a tool box off his head, and if they work this match like LA Park vs. LA Park then it will be my favorite match of the year. And clamping Batista's hand in channellock pliers and stomping on his hand is definitely something that can get us there. And that sentence already looks stupid one second after typing it, because in the meantime HHH ripped Batista's nose ring straight out of his face. The cameras filmed it like someone in a torture porn movie getting their teeth removed against their will. Batista is now a certified recognizable movie star who is trusted with good-size roles in expensive movies. And here he is proving himself to a bunch of ghouls in that only in wrestling way that David Arquette was and still is. Batista is bumping hard including a backdrop bump on a table that didn't budge an inch, and a spear through the next one. They're moving slower than a Park match, but they're getting up for the sick old man spots and I dig it. This loses steam at the end. Both guys are old and did cool stuff, old and slow is fine with me as long as the spots mean something. Batista bomb still looks great and for an old guy dumb bump match this delivered better than expected. Part-timer old dude millionaire geek show is such a weird only in wrestling thing.

Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Kurt Angle is kind of more of a bummer to me than the weird inspirational story they're projecting this as. I guess it's a happy story that while he may be still permanently near death, it's not as blatantly public as it was a decade ago. When he was constantly on camera pilled out and getting into weird public altercations, how his body would turn purple during matches and it was scary as hell. He can't reverse what he's done to his body, but I guess seeing his eyes looking somewhat normal is a relative going out strong moment. Don't care about seeing him and Corbin, don't care enough about Corbin to be bothered either way by his winning or losing. Hopefully this is the retirement Kurt wanted and we don't see him falling off a ladder to the floor on "Joey Ryan Presents Not Just the Tip, Beyond Balls Deep" in a few years.

Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

ER: We are beyond balls deep into the part of the Mania card that I have zero interest in. Finn is doing his big event blackface, which doesn't seem as blatant on a show with Tony Nese, Drake Younger, and HHH. This is a match up I don't care about, plus it already feels like I have 2x my way through it on several episodes of Smackdown. [We've gotten 5 singles matches and 9 other matches opposite each other in the last 5 months. Jesus] This was at least kept brief and the big moments looked good. Lashley's spear to the floor was nuts, Finn giving him a powerbomb was cool, and the coup de grace looked like arguably Finn's best ever. That means something.

Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

ER: ARE THEY PAYING OFF THE HELICOPTERS THROUGHOUT THE SHOW WITH CHARLOTTE LANDING AT THE STADIUM IN ONE!? It will never approach the level of badass that Ric landing on the field to face Ricky Morton was, but they did a good enough reboot of that, complete with red carpet exit. Did kinda just make me want to go back and watch the original entrance though. Robe doms was a nice touch though. Charlotte couldn't have handled the entrance any cooler. Joan Jett missed her chance to be wearing a Sonya Deville shirt (also forgot to ask if this was the first time that Deville publicly displayed on a show? If so that's pretty cool). This match starts out pretty hot with Ronda doing some of her more insane bumping, and she's always been someone who took risks. We get one of the best spots of the night when Ronda had Charlotte in a hanging armbar, then got dropkicked to the floor by Lynch and got knocked almost vertically by the apron. Ronda was taking cool bumps all through this, and at a certain point it was sadly all that was entertaining to me. It felt a little sluggish down the stretch as the match kind of needed those wild Ronda bumps to keep it going. I don't think the Charlotte stuff was as compelling and Becky kept doing that same stupid grimace the whole damn match. Ronda gets tandem hiptossed through a set up table and Becky whips herself face first right into the table and then has to do her grimace face right after for a showdown. The finish really came out of nowhere and looked bad. It was a match that started hot and hit a point where it kept petering out every minute it kept going.

ER: This was mostly a tale of two show halves. Or it could be it's a long show and I've seen a ton of wrestling the past several days, and 8 straight hours might wear on me a bit. But I think it's more that the 1st half of the show was way more fun to me then the sloggy 2nd half. I still think that show had a lot of fun stuff on it, and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would (I was not very excited by the on paper card). I liked the overall presentation and regret nothing.

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New Footage Friday: Boatload of Brazos, Fujiwara, Maeda, Exoticos

MD: When WWE gives you Kane vs. Leviathan, you go forth and find other things. In this case, that would be unearthed Brazos, unearthed exoticos, and unearthed Fujiwara. I think we've done pretty well for ourselves.

PAS: Boy talk about the importance of lowered expectations, we went from "wow the networks is dropping 20 awesome matches a week including multiple unseen 70s and 80s house show matches!!" To "well they are going to only drop one a week, but it is still completely unseen and legendary!" To "suck on a Kane match which has already been on YouTube for a decade." Well fuck them, if you give us lemons we will make Fujiwara and Brazo flavored lemonade.

ER: Fujiwara and Brazo flavored lemonade would just taste like drinking frosting and lard out of an ashtray.

Yoshiaki Fujiwara/Osamu Kido vs. Akira Maeda/Nobuhiko Takada NJPW 3/7/86


MD: Despite Phil's best efforts, I still have some blind spots that I shouldn't have for someone who writes here. While I've seen my share of Fujiwara, I haven't seen as much Maeda and Takada as you'd think. My biggest takeaway here, other than it's great that this was unearthed, was the electricity in the air whenever Fujiwara was in. While Maeda and Takada working with Kido was fine, with them smartly moving from one hold to the next, there was a certain spryness and even manic energy when Fujiwara was in there. Everything felt more visceral. Maeda might toss a kick at Kido, but Fujiwara was going to catch that kick and smack his face off. There's a difference between working a half crab spot and pummeling someone with high/low combos in the corner. Both are fine but I'm going remember the latter more than the former tomorrow. Then you have the angles that Fujiwara comes at you. He had this great double leg takedown with his own legs, for instance, or the precision leg stab that set up the finish. I thought he looked brilliant here.

PAS: After reviewing so much awesome Fujiwara over the years, I am so happy there is still more out there to watch. Fujiwara is pure pleasure in this match, the only guy in this who wasn't content to work a house show match. He works over Maeda he strafes him with body shots in the corner , it really reminded me of Piper in the Valentine match which opened this project up, then he catches his kick and drops with with a huge overhand slap, we are fighting motherfucker. The finish is an all timer Fujiwara finish too, with a brutal quick knee kick dropping Takada and then slapping on a brutal knee bar for the tap. That low kick was such a great fast KO move, totally unexpected and brutal. There was a bit of meandering from the other three which kept this being from a true epic match, but still getting more classic Fujiwara at his peak is such a gift.

Sergio el Hermoso/El Bello Greco vs. Naoki Sano/Hirokazu Hata NJPW 2/8/89

MD: I'm so glad this showed up. I'm pretty certain the only time I've ever seen Sergio and Bello Greco before was in that amazing Ola Lila vs Space Cadets match from 84. Their act was so good and we've got so little of them online. This is a great handheld match because you get such a sense of the ambient noise of the crowd. They're laughing at every spot and they're right to do so. Bello Greco is a bruiser exotico base, there for everything Sano and Hata do (and they do some fairly complex rope running and armdrag sequences). He's there to stooge, bump, catch, and clobber and he does it all very well, underpinned by the exotico character. Sergio, on the other hand, is 110% over the top and he's brilliant and dynamic in the role. He has a reaction for everything and it hit every single time. He gets more out of leaping over a dropped down opponent than anyone I've ever seen. Someone could loop a gif of him going back and forth with dropdowns and it'd be its own blend of wrestling perfection. The crowd cracked up every time he pranced over even after they'd seen it six or seven times. Just watching what he does with his hands on routine spots is fascinating. Sano shined here, working as fluidly as possible with the exoticos, and Hata was fine. This had some heat towards the middle and then ended hot enough, though I get the sense this was placed fairly low on the card and they held back a bit on spots and dives. They didn't need them. The crowd was more than happy to cheer for Sergio and Bello Greco as they were recovering post-match and you can't blame them in the least.

PAS: This was a blast, what a perfect match to have low on a card. The exoticos are total pro performers, with the Brazos match this was a great week for classic lucha comedy. I imagine Sergio and Bello were performing their greatest hits, but this is the one of the few times we have seen them do Freebird and it is pretty spectacular. Sergio looks like a superstar, he feels right on the level of Cassandro, Pimpinela and Adrian Street, comes off like a guy who will leap right off a Pride float and whoop a homophobes ass and go right back to dancing to Nikki Minaj. I was also super impressed with Sano, what an all time adjustable wrestler, he is just as comfortable working exotico comedy spots and fast rope running as he was ripping Liger's mask and working hard shootstyle with Ken Shamrock, is their nothing that guy couldn't do, I would have loved to see him work as Sumo Sam in Memphis throwing salt with Tojo Yamamoto.

Brazo De Oro/Brazo De Plata/El Brazo vs. Robin Hood/Brazo De Platino/Kendo UWF 3/8/94

MD: The Brazos act is timeless. How do I know? Because their antics here with Kendo at the start of the match, stalling, playing with the crowd who loved to chant the tecnicos' names, pretending to leave, crashing into each other, falling off the apron? They did all of that stuff back in 1990 in a match that we have against Kendo/Asai/Hamada. It was still entertaining here. The crowd still loved it here. The only difference was that the super soakers they came out with probably didn't exist back in 90. My favorite moment in all of this was the lucha ring announcer announcing that five minutes had passed despite the fact that they hadn't even locked up yet given all of the comedy posturing, and the crowd popping for the announcement. Obviously they're all used to working with each other and obviously they've done this hundreds of times, but it's still striking how wild and adaptive the physical movements are. That's the joy of the Brazos. It's like they're riding this wave of comedic wrestling, their sheer girth carrying them along with unstoppable inertia. If the crowd reacts in a way that they couldn't possibly expect (though so often it's the crowd reacting to their expert priming), they just get swept along with it, some how twisting the physical comedy to make it work like the most natural thing in the world. Robin Hood and Platino were, unsurprisingly, fitting cogs in the machine and Kendo was just a blur of color and motion and charisma. His connection with this specific crowd over a span of a few years is way too under the radar.

PAS: Kendo crashes an Alvarado family BBQ and we get a nifty trios title match in Japan. Rob Bihari has been on an absolute uploading tear lately, and I am not sure what counts as an unearthed gem, but he told me he "found this on a random disc" and handheld UWF Hamada Rob found on a random disc seems gemmy enough for me. This is a trios match which really ticks all of pleasure centers. We get some classic Brazos shtick at the beginning, including a great spot where Super Porky accidentally bumps his head on the ring post and starts crying, we get some great rope running exchanges (which is something Kendo excels at), a cool dive train, a Star and a pretty great finishing run. Platino is the ultimate little brother at the end of the match, he actually kicks out of the Porky top rope splash, which feels almost blasphemous in a a way an irritating little brother wouldn't follow the rules in a game of tag, Porky then hits him with a standing senton for another two count and then absolutely flattens him with a top rope Togo senton where he landed flush, just powdering Platino's ribs. It is exactly the kind of unnecessary escalation you might do to a little brother who keeps kicking out of your Hogan legdrops when you are play wrestling on your parents bed.

ER: A bunch of Brazos and a chubby veteran Kendo (trying to get into Brazo shape) match up in Japan, and everyone in the crowd somehow understands the jokes better than I do. Bullshit is the universal wrestling language. We now have a great sample of Rip Rogers getting a Japanese crowd eating from his hand before his matches even start, and here we get a bunch of chubby guys shooting Super Soakers, leading to other chubby guys shooting water gun bows and arrows (did they bring those on the flight, or did they find them while in Japan and think "we need to work in some pre-match water gun spots"), and a bunch of clapping and chanting and pratfalls. Watch the Rip Rogers, clapping and pratfalls work. We get some good pratfalls during the match too, my favorite being Oro (or Brazo? It's tough to tell sometimes in this) slingshotting into the ring but just doing a back bump, not rolling through. That's a good gag. 

This is a great era of Porky, as the thick muscular athletic young man from a few years prior is gone, that metabolism took off and didn't even leave a note, but he's still only 30 so still has athleticism. By 1994 he would reach the size he'd basically be for the rest of his career, but hadn't lost much of the agility. Porky has some great moments here, I giggled at him selling Robin enziguiris as if he had lost a contact (I also assume that he didn't bother selling kicks to the back of his head because under that sick as hell mullet he's rocking some equally impressive hot dog neck, so attacking the back of Porky's neck is akin to headbutting a Samoan), and I really liked Platino in this. He's the baby of the group and he acted like a total pro, and I can't even begin to describe what happened between he and Porky as well as Phil did. But we get an awesome dive train (none as wild as Robin Hood's nutty dive earlier that sent him rolling into the crowd), with a great rolling dive off the apron from Oro (or Brazo?) and a killer hands free lawn dart from Kendo, and of course we build to a mammoth Porky dive as our payoff. 

Imagine how steel nerved Porky was. He was always the most athletic of the group, and the fatter he got the more of an attraction he became to their trios team. So before, he was the muscular stocky guy who took big bumps and did big dives, but as he got fatter the desire from the crowd to see him continue diving just kept increasing the fatter he got. So every single match he's placed into the clean-up role, the guy who always has to deliver the coup de grace, always has to do his dive after the crowd has already seen several dives, knows that if he fucks up his dive then the most eyes will be on him. BUT, that's the beauty of the clutch performance of Porky, in that he knows he can deliver the gorgeous fat guy dive, but everybody in the matches also knows that he has the best comic chops to salvage the moment if he does somehow fuck up his dive. 

The finish is fantastic, with Platino deciding to show Japan just how ironclad his sternum is, starting by attempting a sunset flip on Porky that ends with a fat butt sit, then eats a big splash, a senton, and a freaking high hang time top rope senton that made me cover my eyes. My eyes were expecting to see Platino's intestines shoot out his ass, and we are all winners because they did not. Phil completely nailed what Platino was doing here, made me think back to poor David Lochmann in high school, who always sandbagged everyone when we were acting like wrestlers during P.E. Dave refused to roll with a Texas Cloverleaf I was trying to apply, just staying on his back as I tried to turn him. So, Dave ate a few kicks to the back and then got treated to a Cloverleaf way more painful than the one I would have applied had he followed the script. Platino knew what this was.

Leviathan vs. Kane OVW Christmas Chaos 1/31/01

ER: The match that I have been waiting nearly half my lifetime to see! This hidden gems project has been a total flop thus far, but now that they are filling up that ring with 640 pounds of primo steroid era grade A prime things are starting to look up. Could I have seen this match before this moment? Well, sure, if I wanted to sit through a 5 second Dailymotion ad and watch it in slightly worse quality. I'm not going to dig out and watch my VHS copy of 2001: A Space Odyssey that I taped off PBS in the 90s, I'm watching my blu ray. Thus, I'm not watching one match between two guys I don't really like from a Christmas show that was being held 5 weeks after Christmas. Imagine how devastated you would be if Christmas came and went, and you had to wait another 5 weeks to get your presents? Well, WWE knew that fans had been waiting near 18 years to see this Battle of the Titans on their Network screens, and they unleashed this Secret Santa Surprise with a fireplace warmed holiday grin on their faces. Two larger than life pro wrestling and film mega stars at their most gassed, with film quality that looks somehow worse than the batch of early 80s handhelds we just got. This match is going to be like the sound that a giant side of beef makes falling out of a truck. Cornette calls these two "Mastodons of the Mat" who "move like junior heavyweights" which is like an over the top positive lie you tell a friend who you just witnessed shitting the bed at an open mic.

And if your friend had this match you would definitely tell them some over the top positive lie right after you witnessed it. Leviathan was newish, Kane was bad, but this was a decent poor man's Van Hammer vs. Chase Tatum. If this were on the Pro with at least one mullet and no belly button tattoos, I'd probably call it a win. I appreciated that they took a lot of risks on their punches. Both were throwing big hooking right handed haymakers, which are tough to land consistently, and when they miss they look like fake grade school punches. But when they hit, they look good, and Leviathan threw a few to Kane's cheek and one to the head that I thought looked real good, and Kane threw two rights to Leviathan's jaw that looked good, and looked better than Kane's easier to land short uppercuts. Leviathan took nice bumps on chokeslams, hit a nice and sudden spear and a big hang time spinebuster. Both men threw some horrendous clotheslines. Leviathan had one knocking Kane to the floor that was so so gentle, and Kane's "flying" clothesline is one of the worst signature spots in wrestling history. Kane's flying clotheslines always look bad, but the two in this match are some of his very worst. One is so gentle that Leviathan doesn't really know just when to bump it, and both men kind of tumble softly to the mat like two roughhousing friends falling in the backyard. I bet one of them was making "brassssshhhhhhhhh" sound effects while landing. I really hope we get Van Hammer vs. Chase Tatum next Thursday.

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2014 Ongoing Match of the Year List

The Shield v. Evolution WWE Extreme Rules 5/4

PAS: Another classic Shield big match trios. Evolution were fine as a bunch of roided up old meatheads thumping on some younger crossfit guys. It was kind of like a fistfight at a Golds gym. I really liked Batista in this, he had a couple of nice bumps, a good looking spinebuster and some fun stumbly selling, Orton was technically fine, and Helmsley has credibility. This was the Shield show though, these three guys have just mastered their face trios roles. Ambrose is great as wild firey brawler, his running double table dives wasn't an athletic marvel, but it was a great lunatic move, like when Terry Funk would do an Asai. Reigns was pretty great as a heel bully, but his has really come into his own as an electric hot tag. He has such force and athleticism in his moves, it almost feels like early 90's Scott Steiner, he just explodes out of the blocks like Russel Westbrook on a fast break. Rollins is great as the crazy risk taker, swinging for the fences and crashing and burning when he fails. His tope into the wall was Rey Hechicero crazy, and the balcony dive was awesome, real props to camera guys who kept it hidden until the moment he comes flying into the shot. I was shocked at how much I dug this, put the Shield in a big match atmosphere and they deliver against anyone.

ER: Blah blah Shield trios blah blah match of the year blah blah give them 20 minutes. I doubted this would be as good as other long Shield tags, given their opponents, but I was wrong. This was super fun and it was fun seeing Shield work as equals (or higher) with three established names. HHH, for better or worse, always brings an extra element to matches aside from ring work, as you're always wondering in the back of your head how he's gonna make guys look like they don't belong in the match. It adds a weird sense of drama that could only be created through years of being an asshole, in the same way that women suffering in Lars Von Trier films always has extra gravity because you know they had to work with Lars Von Trier. The Shield looked great as usual, and this kind of "around the arena" brawl works great for them, as once you start to think "Hey where'd Rollins go" then suddenly Rollins is dropping 15' out of the air onto everybody. They're all really good at doing their own thing and then meeting back together in perfect time. I really loved Batista here. I saw a lot of people talk about how bad he looked on his most recent run, always gassing out and working soft, but I thought he looked really good. Here he was awesome, taking a big bump off the apron and an even bigger one getting thrown into the barrier, leaning into everything and taking the Shield's dangerous offense really well. He also had a real nasty running kick with Rollins draped over the ropes (nice note to he and Reigns respective roles in their stable). Fun match, still bummed they predictably rushed a break-up.


2014 MASTER LIST

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We Can Go For A Walk Where It's Quiet and Dry and Talk About Regal

Lord Steven Regal v. Arn Anderson WCW 10/9/93 - EPIC

This is the battle of the two greatest Television champions in a classic 15 minute TV Title main event. Arn works the arm Anderson style, cranking a nasty hammerlock, while Regal breaks out some slick WOS reversals. Including the Saint full nelson counter which is one of my all time favorite British wrestling moves. Regal takes over when he chucks Arn to the floor and Sir William pops him in the ribs with the umbrella. Regal then goes after the midsection including a sweet flipping senton, and a neck crank with a knee on the stomach which looked really nasty. This builds to a classic TV title time limit run, with Arn going full bore to get the pin and Regal trying to run out the time. That is a finish which can be hard to pull off, I have seen plenty of bad versions where the guys are stalling or timing their moves and pins badly. Here we have the two masters of the TV Title match, so the final desperate face run is timed great, and we get the spinebuster at the perfect moment, with the clock running down right as the ref counts two. Excellent match, great use of the gimmick and it really got me amped to check out more of the Regal TV title stuff.

Lord Steven Regal v. Great Muta NJ 8/3/97 - FUN

Regal is clearly inspired and working hard, but Muta was fully in wander around and make faces mode, making this basically a one man show. When Muta is dogging it there is going to be a limit on how good a match is going to be, but Regal does a nice job working with a broomstick with cool facepaint. The first part of this match is all Regal working nasty arm submissions and takedowns while Muta lays around. Finish is pretty great, as Regal pins Muta's arms and pounds away with palm strikes, only to get a face full of poison mist. Half assed backbreaker, and a moonsault and Muta gets the duke. This definitely makes me want to see more New Japan Regal, although preferable against an opponent who gives a fuck.

William Regal/Finlay v. Bobby Lashley/Batista WWE 8/11/06 - GREAT

This is during the awesome King Booker period on Smackdown with Regal and Finlay working as members of the King's Court. Finlay and Regal are a really fun bruiser tag team, almost all of the match is based around them beating on Bobby Lashley. They had married Lashley to Finlay at this point to turn him into a wrestler, and he was fine as a guy taking really nasty uppercuts and forearms. I forgot how much I enjoyed heel Hornswoggle, as the tiny monster living under the ring was a cool Cornette tennis racket. Team Strikeforce negotiations was a perfectly acceptable Road Warriors team and it was a testament to Regal and Finlay that they looked so credible going toe to toe with such giant roid monsters. Another cool WWF Regal discovery which is one of the big goals of this project.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE REGAL

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2010 Fab Four 1/18-1/24

William Regal v. Christian ECW 1/19

Cannot complain about getting this two weeks in a row. Not as good as the last match, mainly because there wasn't much of a finish run, but damn was the wrestling great. This had the same structure as every Christian match, but had different spots. They do a very cool greco knuckle lock sequence, and Regal may have been even more brutal in this match then in the previous week. At one point he counters a backslide by mule kickin Christian in the calf and elbowing him in the back of the head. He also does the headkick into the metal post, which really looks like it should put a guy on the shelf for a month. The run in finish was abrupt, as it didn't even break up a pin fall. Still if this is their last singles match against each other, it was a heck of a swan song.

Finlay v. Batista SD 1/19

Pretty much a violent Batista squash. Finlay is the worlds greatest Mike Boyette as he opens up with a couple of big right hands and then gets brutally smashed. No reason an old ass man should be taking the kind of bumps he was taking here. Thrown over the ringside table, hurled like a dart into the wall. Not the best use of Finlay but it is something he does really well.

Week 3 Rankings

1. Regal- Not much competition this week, but he was a murder machine
2. Finlay- Fun, if short performance
3/4. Rey/Punk: Both weirdly AWOL from in ring stuff, Punk's head shaving of Serena was some creepy awesome shit though.

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2010 Fab Four 1/11-1/17

ECW Battle Royal ECW 1/12

Battle Royals are Battle Royals. Punk wasn't the focus of this at all, although he did have some nice battle royal near falls and took a big bump when he was eliminated. Ezekiel Jackson looked like a total beast in this though. I hope he doesn't get RAWed when ECW folds.

William Regal v. Christian Superstars 1/12

This was the US match up of the year in 2009, great match after great match, and we get another corker in 2010. Regal was brilliant here, I loved how he and Christain chain wrestled with the arm during the opening part of the match. He looked like Negro Navarro. Then we get our requisite Christian big bump (which was fucking nasty looking) and then lots of different spots teasing the killswitch. Christian works a very formula match, but Regal is so great you can plug him into any formula and it will be awesome. He does so many little things well, everyone is going to eat a Christian missle dropkick, but no one takes it as well as Regal. Everyone is going to counter the killswitch a couple of times, but no one is going to do it as slickly and fluidly as Regal. Man given some time he really is the fucking best.

CM Punk/Luke Gallows v. Great Khail/Matt Hardy v. Cryme Tyme v. Hart Dynasty SD 1/12

Short match with Punk not really in it much. Khali and Luke Gallows were the focus, with both looking fine. As a Mean Street Posse fan from way back I am happy to see the Gas Mask back as a finisher.

Rey Mysterio v. Batista SD 1/12

This was a steel cage match, and a total blast. Rey is one of the best Steel Cage wrestlers ever, as he is so good at using his agility and speed to climb around the cage like a jungle gym. Batista was really good as the douchebag bully tossing around the little kid, but getting caught. Finish was really great with Rey worming himself out of the Batista bomb and flying out of the ring. A little short, but the shortness kind of played into the story they were telling.

Week 2 rankings

1. Regal- You give him 10+ minutes and he is damn near unbeatable.
2. Rey- Second by a hair, I love climbing a cage Rey, but a little less then punch you in the face Regal
3. Punk- Two matches, but really backroundy in both
4. FInlay-AWOL for the week

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Phil's Updated 2007 MOTY List

1. John Cena v. Umaga WWE 1/28
2. Solar 1/Mano Negra v. Negro Navarro/Black Terry Lucha Libre VIP 3/10
3. MNM v. Hardy Boyz WWE 1/28
4. Briscoes v. Ricky Marvin/Kontaro Suzuki NOAH 1/21
5. Takeshi Sasaki v. Yuki Miyamoto BJW 3/14
6. John Cena v. Shawn Michaels WWE 4/1
7. Shinjiro Ohtani/Takao Omori/Kazunari Murakami v. Kohei Sato/Hirotaka Yokoi/Yoshiro Takayama Zero 1 1/19
8. Undertaker v. Batista WWE 4/1
9. BJ Whitmer v. Jimmy Jacobs ROH 1/27
10. Necro Butcher v. Toby Klien CZW 1/13
11. Chris Benoit v. Chavo Guerrero WWE 1/16

6. John Cena v. Shawn Michaels WWE 4/1

This was really the match that ends all arguments about John Cena. Shawn Micheals is personally the most loathsome thing in wrestling. I have such a visceral hatred of him, the fact I enjoyed this match as much as I did was pretty much a miracle, and it was all Cena.

Micheals comes out in this preposterous Christian stripper outfit with goofy crosses hanging down and mingling with his chest hair, he looks like a Ted Haggard rent boy post Protease. Then while Cena is coming to the ring he is making faces like a drag queen doing Cher. He is like Paul Lynde at this point, I have no idea how anyone can take him seriously. The first part of the match is all about crafty Micheals outsmarting Cena. Micheals is pretty terrible in this part, ducking punches like he is bowing to a Japaneese lady, throwing wrestling school trainee level chops and mincing around the ring like a less masculine May Flowers. Cena was great though, showing frustration through his face, struggling against poorly executed holds, and bumping big for whatever those punch like things were supposed to be. At one point Micheals had Cena in a loose headscissors, and Cena must have held his breath because his face is turning purple. Micheals does hit a nice Asai, although even the coolest thing about that was how Cena catches it against the table so it looked like his back was broken.

The next section was Micheals working the leg and he basically used stomps and chop blocks which he can pull off. People are bitching about the leg selling, but I thought it was fine, Cena sold it a ton when it was being applied, and also sold it during the first part of his comeback, until he was able to shrug it off. He didn't just stop selling, there was a transition. Somewhere in this Micheals takes a shitty looking posting and blades, but still basically controls. The piledriver on the steps was pretty great looking, although I don't get why Ross kept calling it a spike piledriver. Who was the spiker? I guess Jesus is his Arn.

You normal Micheals formula match has the opponent control the match, destroy Shawn's surgically repaired back, hit all of his finishers, Micheals then Resurrects hits his superkick and pins his opponent. It is a match structure that makes his opponents look like shit,. Here he controlled the match, while he doesn't really have enough stuff to control a match, at least he doesn't make all of Cena's stuff look like shit, by ignoring it.

The finish run was a lot better then in the other title match, you had the kick outs of the finishers, but they weren't just running through their finishers for two counts, they were mixing it up. I loved the constant drop toe holds by Cena, they looked great and it is a very cool set up for the STFU. Cena's fatigue selling was awesome, and I liked them laying on each other at the end, although Micheals rubbing Cena's cock was pretty fucking uncomfortable, I guess jerking Cena off was a match strategy "Hunter is always spent after I do this."

Pretty amazing one man show, it seems pretty crazy to say, but Cena may be the best wrestler in the world right now. No one around works big time main event wrestling better. He may not do as many cool things as say Austin Aries, but everything he does counts.

8. Undertaker v. Batista WWE 4/1

The disappointing Batista v. JBL matches always started with great big man slugfests, but they would be main eventing and have to go 20+ so you would have long chinlock sections. This wasn't a main event, so they could work a brawl the whole match. I really liked most of this match, big guys going after each other, and some big moves sprinkled in. The tope was awesome looking, and pretty crazy to do with only one guy catching. The match fell apart a little at the end though, as they really did this obligatory WWE main event finish. A guy hits his secondary finisher for a dramatic two count, then the other guy hits his secondary finisher for a dramatic two count, rinse repeat. It is pretty cliched and it really looked tacked on here. Still this was damn fun for a match nobody expected anything from.

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WWE NO MERCY THOUGHTS

No Mercy Thoughts

I was on the fence about getting this PPV, Finlay main eventing is something I wish to whole hardily support, and I really liked the Rey v. Chavo brawl on Smackdown a couple of weeks back. Still not really enough for me to kick out the cash. Then I read Meltzer's report that we get PPV CHAM PAIN~! and Regal v. Beniot and I run and order the replay, and it was well worth it. Great PPV>

Gregory Helms v. Matt Hardy

We used to take road trips down to North Carolina to watch these guys tear it up in National Guard armories, and now they get a big chunk of time to do their thing in Raleigh on PPV. This is why you buy the single brand Smackdown PPV's, guys who can wrestle get the time to do it. Helms has turned into quite an asskicker, as he was working pretty damn stiff here. I especially loved the double underhooks into grounded knees. They broke out their big New Japan juniors finishing run, and it was alot of fun. The top rope Shining Wizard was especially great, and I can't believe I never saw it the indies during the summer of Shining Wizards. I buy 2.9 wrestling more, when they are kicking out of multiple neckbreakers, rather then tope rope brainbusters, and they really got the crowd hot for this.

Aaron Idol/K.C. James v. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

I think this was the best match of the London/Kendrick title run. Just stellar tag team wrestling, and a North Carolina crowd raised on Rock and Roll Express matches popping for every spot. First couple of time I saw Idol, he absolutely blew, but he has seasoned into a perfectly acceptable heel tag worker at this point. K.C. James has worked enough Puerto Rico to work this match in his sleep. I really liked Idol's seated abdominal stretch move for a tag rest hold, and the initial cut off of the hot tag with Kendrick getting pulled down, was great. I also love the way London and Kendrick build their crazy dives into the match. The initial double somersault senton and London's crazy tope to cut off James. I was pretty bummed initially that this wasn't the Pitbulls in this match, but I can't imagine that it would have been any better.

Hey Regal is uncut, didn't think I would find that out on PPV.

Christ the fat writer in the g-string has a name now? What is with all the male ass on this show? I much prefer the subtle gay imagery of Magnum T.A. on his bike, or the Fantastics in their little tuxes, to this really hateful gay imagery on this show. Why can't Vince admit the love that dares not speaks its name, so we aren't subject to it squirting out like this.

MVP v. Marty Garner

Cham Pain used to rule those same armory shows that Matt Hardy and Gregory Helms did. For some reason he was the one OMEGA guy who never got a break. So his PPV debut as a skinny guy for JBL to make recycled Heenan jokes about, was kind of bittersweet. I was hoping for at least one big bump. They must still be angry over the Rock leaving them behind.

Undertaker v. Mr. Kennedy

Undertaker really needs to stop thinking he is Helmsley and needs 20+ minutes every PPV. He really works best in 12-15 minute matches, I loved his recent TV match with Booker, and I got the sense this would have been good with about 8 minutes shaved off. Instead it was way too long, and sort of dull. I liked Kennedy's piledriver though.

Rey Mysterio v. Chavo Guerrerro

I have been FFwding all the build towards this angle, but the wrestling parts have been pretty good. This was a really fun streetfight, with alot of nasty bumps. Chavo giant swinging Rey into chairs and hockey boards was nasty, and the 619 around the rail was fun too. The regular brawl parts of this match was fun too, as Chavo was just laying in the uppercuts. I thought Rey's big dive was a little underwhelming, but otherwise this was what you wanted.

William Regal v. Chris Benoit

Well fuck. This might be my favorite match up in wrestling history, and it shows up on PPV. It was Regal v. Benoit and you got all that you would hope from that. The first headbutt which split Regal open was Kikuchi level nasty, it sounded like someone dropped a Mango off a 5 story ledge. I also loved Benoit chopping Regal right on the open wound to get the blood flowing again. Regal's King Kong kneedrop was a new wrinkle and a great one, one knee to the ribs, one to the neck. I especially loved all of the mat struggling, Benoit's mat work always looks like a viscous fight, and the countering of the Regal stretch here was great, as was Regal fighting the crossface like his life defended on it. I like how Regal doesn't fight the crossface, but always immediately taps, really puts over the viscousness of the hold

Batista v. King Booker v. Finlay v. Bobby Lashley

I liked this alot too, Finlay and Booker really held it together, and outside of a little awkwardness, Batista and Lashley played their roles well too. Finlay was on fire here, I loved his little moment of domination, where he tossed Booker, Fujiwaraed Batista, and then picking Lashley's knee when he came in. Finish ruled too, Lashley's spear from nowhere was awesome, he was super low to the ground, and it was almost a Pete Rose slide. When Batista won the title he was a guy in his late 30's who looked like he was in his mid 20's, now he looks like Lance Herickson, he is a guy in his late 30's who facially looks like he is in his late 50's. Lashley does Batista way better then Batista does, hopefully house show matches with Finlay could get him back to form, otherwise they need to dump him back to RAW. Booker actually won clean which was weird. I also don't know if they are turning Regal and Finlay face, but I am hoping we get a TV Booker v. Finlay title match, as their stuff against each other here was great.

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SMACKDOWN 8/11/06 REFLECTIONS

Gregory Helms vs. Tatanka

PAS: Man alive was that match a blast. Tatanka is a guy who has been around for a while and I don’t think he has ever had a better match in his whole career. Really violent, as both guys were just laying into each other with big shots. Tatanka’s top rope chop was especially nasty. I am sure Helms must have had a singles match with Mike Youngblood on the NC indies, and may have event had a match with end of the road Wahoo, but I can’t imagine either match being as good

TKG: All you need to be high end Indian is stiff chops and a nice elbow drop. No elbow drop in this but still plenty stiff. Helms also was willing to work real stiff and I really liked the nasty low enziguri that replaced his shining wizard. I can’t think of last time I’ve enjoyed a Helms cruiser match this much. Helms’ arrogant heel stuff may work better vs. heavyweight. Arrogant guy who comes over from other brand and refuses to shake peoples hand backstage may make sense as way to promote a heel to sheet readers. But really not something actual audience cares about, I suppose it could lead to a Booker feud down the road. Arrogant small southerner taking liberties with big Injun guy is something the audience can respond to.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

TKG: Hey a WWE tag match with both a face and a heel in peril section. Stevens didn’t look as bad in this as he did the last time we saw him. Mostly him eating offense. He’s not Eric Young or Johnny Nitro. Nothing really compelling about the way he eats offense but fine. London/Kendrick hit a bunch of fun double teams and then James controls the offense when London takes the headbump.

PAS: James had a really nice elbow drop, but had a crappy finishing kick. London took a big bump, these teams might have a better match in them.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy

PAS: This whole Rey v. Chavo feud doesn’t really have the actors to pull off what they are trying to do. You get a sense that the promos would be a lot better if Rey had passed and this was an Eddie v. Rey Sr. feud. The match was a lot better then their first match, as Kennedy clearly had worked Mdogg20 so he had some indy highflyer bumps to take. Rey has a really pretty crucifix bomb.

TKG: Rey Sr vs. Eddy wouldn’t be very good in the ring. Maybe they should have gotten Edie’s mom instead of his wife…I remember her being really good in the JBL angle. Rey whips out all his indyer offense but for indy touring Rey vs. Midwest guy this was smoked by Rey vs. Ace Steel.

Vito vs. Sylvan

PAS: I don’t understand what angle they are working having Vito beat all of Patterson’s bottoms. Feels like it sets up a match with Patterson, but he is in the hospital.

TKG: Vito working his way through the flock amuses me. But like Phil says with Patterson hospitalized, unclear who gets to play the Raven role? Next week we get Vito vs. Barry O, followed by Vito vs. Mel Phillips building to Vito vs. Vinny Mac? Mike Bucci just got promoted…I always figured he was the guy who wrote the RF apologist letter to the Observer. Maybe he has enough power to book himself to avenge Patterson’s honor.

Sylvester Terkay vs. Dustin Starr

PAS: Turkey can’t really work the violent MMA gimmick when he is working visibly looser then Shane Helms.

TKG: Yeah at least vs. Hardy he seemed like a fun poor man’s Yasuda. But if you’re going to work MMA guy squashing jobbers you need to have some Goldberg intensity and not work like lazy Yasuda. Yasuda disinterested v. jobber isn’t going to get anyone over. If Burke is going to be Hoshino he needs better suits.

TKG: MVP really feels like a Battledome gimmick.

Bobby Lashley/Batista vs. Finlay/William Regal

PAS: This was a total blast, Finlay and Regal are the best tag team in wrestling, and you can tell that Regal is really inspired working with Finlay. Regal actually looked like the best guy in the match, although Finlay was bumping huge. Batista looked pretty rusty, as Lashley’s offense looked better.

TKG: Regal just looked on fire. All of his stuff working over and selling for Lashley were just amazing. Those two never had a great singles match and never looked like they would but watching this you felt like these two have a match in them. Finlay must have worked 500 matches with Goldberg and he can eat a spear like nobodies business. I really liked Booker and his wife’s real bama couple chemistry and making him do fake Sir Laurence Oliver really fucks him up. Him as kingfish worked, him as prison theatre Hamlet doesn’t.

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SMACKDOWN 8/4 REFLECTIONS

William Regal v. Finlay

PAS: Neither of these two singles matches were classics, but both were Regal v. Finlaytatic. Regal looked awesome here, as he was the stiffer of the two guys. Including some really nasty elbows to the ear and head. This kind of felt like it was working towards a run-in but everything they did was great.

TKG: I don’t know about working toward a run in. Felt like it was the first part of a match as Regal was just going after Finlay. Really almost felt like concentrated body part work as he was just taking apart the shoulder area. Like a really high end version of a Tom Pritchard match. Last weeks match was full match. This felt like only part of a match. But a spectacular part. Lashley’s run in kind of denies the chance to get the rubber match.

Elijah Burke v. Scott Wright

PAS: I liked Elijah Burke’s bodyshots a bunch, and he had a nice dropkick. He looked a lot better then Turkey did last week.

TKG: Turkey looked pretty shitty as poor man’s Yasuda last week. Burke is really going to disappoint in the Murakami role. As you can’t do that role and do chickenshit heel complaining that jobber is pulling your braids shtick at same time. But yeah I really dug the bodyshots and liked the stroke into submission finisher.

Sylvan v. Tatanka

PAS: This was a really fun Velocity main event. Tatanka has really nice impact on everything he does, and I really loved the stiff top rope chop. Sylvan bumps really well and I kind of hope he doesn’t get fired if Patterson dies.

TKG: Smackdown is the craziest thing in the world as no matter how depleted their roster gets they can still deliver the matches. Disappointed that Tatanka didn’t do his old role up finish. Sylvan moves around a bunch while applying the neck vice into chinlock—like he’d been studying his Randy Orton tapes. Sylvan also hits a really great spinebuster/uranagi.

Mr. Kennedy v. Batista

PAS: This was worked exactly like the Samoa Joe v. American Dragon match from ROH Saturday. Kennedy is the worlds shittiest American Dragon and Batista is a pretty shitty Samoa Joe, but it is a good match structure and this was shockingly good. Kennedy’s execution is crap, but Batista is really good at selling, and his selling makes this match.

TKG: Kennedy was working more like poor man’s Corino than poor man’s Danielson. But yeah this was surprisingly good. Kennedy’s execution is crap and he looked like he might fall on his face rolling from putting the headlock into putting on the hammerlock. But his ability to play the role he was playing was really important to making that match work. This is the best match I’ve ever seen with Ken Kennedy and I used to watch Midwest indy tapes.

Vito v. Brooklyn Brawler

PAS: Feels like an inside joke with legit gay guy against a hetrosexual transvestite, called by a gay guy and a shower molester. Surprisingly progressive for a normally homophobic show.

Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki v. K.C. James/Idol Stevens

PAS: K.C James is really fun, nice punches and elbows. Idol Stevens is early Heartbreakers level bad. You kind of only need one good wrestler for a tag team so I could be into a James/Stevens v. London/Kendrick.

TKG: Idol Stevens looked really awkward and nowhere near being ready for TV. Not really ready for ECWA summit, either. James is a guy whose career I’ve followed for awhile with some admiration…but had never seen him work. Years ago I remember when James was running an indy and brought in Corino…James ran a wrestling school scam that week where he claimed that Corino would hand deliver all the students audition tapes to Hashimoto. Kind of scam that made me know that this is a guy who understands the business. And then there was his run in Puerto Rico. Anyways I was happy that he didn’t disappoint. Phil mentioned his punches but I was really impressed with his interactions with the crowd and the way he leaned into and ate both Fuanki and Scotty-2-Hotty’s offense. Did an impressive job making Hotty’s offense look good.

Diva Search

PAS: The pie test is actually useful. These girls need to be able to keep their composure when white cream flies unexpectedly into their face. Randy Orton is back from suspension.

Chavo Interview

PAS: This angle hasn’t gotten disgusting yet, although you know it is coming. Chavo can’t really carry a long mike segment like that. Although the turn made sense

Undertaker v. Booker T

PAS: Booker T v. Undertaker was the start of a really great match. I especially loved the top rope armdrag counter to the old school. The constant pimping of Undertaker as Chuck Liddel is hysterical. I would like to see this Khaliless and given more time. It makes me want to watch all of their Booker as Voodoo priest match.

TKG: This without Khali would be Undertaker winning cleanly. Worked similarly to last weeks match as it’s Booker bumping around for face opponent until opponent makes mistake and Booker takes over for a couple minutes. Booker just really solid in this as he eats the stuff well and his strikes are solid. JBL does nice job putting over the different sections of an Undertaker match.

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