2023 Ongoing MOTY List: LA Park, Pimpi, KAOMA JR?

 

3. LA Park/Sayrus vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Kaoma Jr. 3Bat Productions 9/9

ER: I wanted to see LA Park live in Richmond, CA a couple months ago. It was a real stacked card with LA Park in a tag team main event opposite Jacob Fatu for the first time since their MLW blow up, Psycho Circus vs. Puerquiza Extrema, what was surely a great tag with Black Taurus, Arez, Canis Lupus, and Laredo Kid, plus an undercard with Faby Apache and Pimpi and others I loved. My buddy Jason and I drove down because that is a total no brainer of a live show right there, and we opted to drive down to buy tickets at the door and avoid the online service charges on the $50 GA tickets. Well smart guy, they were charging *$70* for the GA tickets at the door, with front row seats priced at $220 and the next two rows at $180. I was so shocked to hear that $70 price that I had to ask "Dollars?" Folks, I am not to the point in my life - nor do I think I ever will be - where I am prepared to pay $70 for a lucha show (or any wrestling show) and so we turned back around and drove back from whence we came. To their credit, there was a huge line around the building and it was only kids under 5 who got in for free, so hats off to all the families there with several kids who were prepared to pay $400 to see live lucha. I am apparently a Broke Bitch, which is why I cannot pay $70 to see LA Park live, but I can be paid by my job to watch this LA Park match in the bathroom. 

Honestly, had this match just been Park and Pimpi brawling and slapping each other with Park's belt, I would have added it to my MOTY list. I've seen plenty of Park matches over the past several years that are mostly comprised of belt whippings, and I loved them all. Luckily for us, this match is much more than whippings, and features a totally unexpected (to me) standout performance from Kaoma Jr., a guy who has been around for 20+ years who I don't think I've heard about before this match. Even cooler, is that we get essentially a full Park/Pimpinela fight before the entire match peaks with a Kaoma and Sayrus (another guy I'd never heard of and was expecting nothing from) showcase that totally delivers in every way. 

The Park/Pimpi stretches were everything I wanted them to be. I would have been extremely entertained by the belt not even coming into play, as is evidenced by Park trying to take out Pimpi's legs with a log roll - a large, mossy log gaining speed - but that belt comes into play almost immediately. I don't know how Park keeps Get Hit With Belt fresh, but he does. I loved how he reacted normally to all of Pimpi's belt shots, but the second the rudo ref tried it he snapped to attention, and the ref froze in his shoes in sudden terror...before belting Park right across the fucking FACE. Park falls onto and sits on a woman at ringside, takes a nice shoved bump into the ringpost, and recovers on the floor while Cassandro welts up Sayrus with that belt. Pimpinela's open hand chops hit almost as hard as Park's, and he hits Park right in the neck with those large open hands, then beats him around General Admission with a Piso Mojado placard, and all of the rudos - ref included - throw overhand chops at Park. 

It ramps up even more when Park inevitably turns the tides, beating Pimpi on top of the same woman that he fell onto earlier, Pimpi screaming melodramatically the entire time, sounding like Gretchen from Bob's Burgers. But then Park disappears and triumphantly reappears with a beer cooler...and fucking swings it incredibly hard, by the handle, into Pimpi and Kaoma. I don't care if they got an arm up as a shield, the speed Park swung that cooler at Kaoma could have broke his ulna. When the belt whipping payback comes, it comes with vengeance, and of course the ref gets the worst of it. It's a pair of bad whippings, the kind that made me long for LA Park whipping Johnny Knoxville, Johnny's eyes going wide as he's momentarily silent before breaking out into his high pitched giggle. I've seen Park force a rudo ref to take his whipping live more than once and this was the worst I've seen, capped beautifully by Park standing on the man's palms while the man's pudgy stomach takes a real whipcrack. 

Now, Kaoma. I went into this match expected nothing out of Sayrus or Kaoma, because they were not the men who drew me to this match, and all I really wanted was for them to mostly stay out of the way. But every time Kaoma got in between Park and Pimpi's brawling, he was an instant standout. His overhand chops somehow stood out even more than Pimpi's he takes a high backdrop from Park, and then I really snapped awake when he hit a startlingly convincing shoulderblock into Park. Park has at least 60 pounds on Kaoma, but that shoulderblock looked like something that genuinely knocked Park on his ample ass. His tope focuses on that actual headbutt portion of the tope, a man dedicated to playing the classics with accuracy and violence. I've seen so many Arms Fully Stretched Out dogshit topes that I began to think the odds of seeing a classic flying headbutt done by someone other than Hijo del Santo were next to nil. Sayrus has a really impressive tornillo crossbody block and was a nice dance partner for Kaoma, but Kaoma just kept raising the bar. His tope en reversa senton is an actual incredible spot, executed with precision, like a graceful lucha version of Tenryu's falling top rope elbowdrop. His Atlantida thrown into a backbreaker looked...well, backbreaking, and the man rolls up tidily for a complicated Sayrus huracanrana the way all my favorite rudo bases do. Park and Pimpi's finishing stretch was a total afterthought thanks to Kaoma's fireworks, and I loved how the match transitioned into these two showing out. 

2023 MOTY MASTER LIST

Read more!

New Footage Friday: Nuevo Lardeo Super Card

This looked like an all-timer of a discovery, and only ended up being a cool novelty

Full Show

Damián 666/El Hijo del Diablo/Espectrito I/Super Crazy vs. Gitano/Mini Rey Misterio Jr/Rey Bucanero/Zorro

MD: This was a ton of fun. I've seen less atomicos with a mini than you'd think and maybe that means that the novelty still gest me, but Mini Rey was really good in his underdog role, Espectrito was very good getting punked by larger guys as a counterpoint, and Damian was incredibly giving (and a real louse, cheating when he didn't have to instead of facing Rey straight!), to the point where I came out of this thing primarily wanting a singles match between him and Mini Rey. I never expected the two of them to be the main pairing for the match but it absolutely worked. Everyone else worked, but maybe not too memorably. I lost track of Zorro after the primera and only caught track of Bucanero at that point. There was a little clipping too but you could tell this was fun nonetheless.

La Mascara vs. Antifaz del Norte

MD: Not going to lie. I'm not sure who Mascara is here, but I thought this was pretty good. They shook hands right at the start, as this was a title match, but Mascara started with the cheapshots almost immediately thereafter. Antifaz had just begun to get back in it when the brazen double-teaming set in and he had to spend the rest of the match fighting the odds. To their credit, they made it fairly compelling and you felt the triumph of his win in the segunda, just as you probably felt like the screwy finish for the tercera made the journey they'd taken you on a little less worthwhile.

Arandu/Pimpinela Escarlata/Pirata Morgan/Psicosis vs. Felino/Mascara Sagrada/Super Parka/Vampiro

PAS: We really only get parts of this, and it gets cut off in the second fall. There were some highlights, with Pimpi looking like a total killer just unloading all of the tecnicos including big overhand right chops and flinging chairs. There was also a great Psicosis vs. Felino exchange, not sure how many times those two interacted, but man did Felino's speed and Psicosis's recklessness meld well. 

Pierroth vs. La Parka

MD: We got a little burned on the promise of this, because really what we have here is most of the primera and segunda and just some clipping of the tercera, but it's ok. I really loved those first two falls. I also really loved the finish. What I didn't love were the glimpses in the tercera of the ref interference, so I'm almost happier not having it. We lose the very initial scene-setting of how Pierroth takes over, but between the heel ref and everything else, you can guess. The beatdown's good enough that it doesn't matter. Pierroth has great clubbing blows and both of these guys can milk absolutely everything, from a punch to the gut to a chairshot on the floor. There was mask-ripping, blood, Pierroth just being a total jerk, and it had that one core element you want from an apuestas match, from lucha in general, that buzzing build towards a comeback. 

Pierroth planted him with a power bomb and the beatdown continued into the segunda. The buzz built too, to the point where the fans were chanting for Parka while Pierroth was all but laying on a chinlock. So it built and built and built, until the lightning crack of Park's kick to the side of Pierroth's head, the greatest thing that can possibly exist in pro wrestling, the moment of comeback in an apuestas match. These guys really milked it too, with Parka having to really fight back after that moment. He did though, getting amazing revenge by wrapping a chair around a trapped Pierroth hanging on the apron. The ultimately finish played off the powerbomb in the primera and that will always work for me. A tercera for an apuestas matters so much more if you don't know the outcome; here, we did. What we didn't know was when and how Parka was going to come back and how that would shoot through the crowd like electricity, the build and the payoff. That's what I want and that's what I got here.

PAS: This is one of the legendary holy grails of lucha libre, a huge drawing feud and one of the bigger mask matches of the 1990s. We have had highlights before, and this looked like it was going to be the most complete version. Unfortunately while we get the first two falls which were great, the third fall was basically clipped to incoherence. There were glimpses of cool shit, though. I loved Parka just slamming Pierroth in the temple with punches, and the big Parka enziguiri was incredible, looked like he beheaded Pierroth. But man this was such a mean tease, hopefully someday more of this will arrive.  

Read more!

Lucha Underground Episode 31: The Desolation of Drago Review

1. Blue Demon Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrerro

PAS: The rematch 31 weeks in the making. Man I guess I get that Demon Jr. is iconic and all, but he is poopy, and I am bummed he is back. Listless nothing brawl from Demon in a blue suit and Chavo. Thought Chavo looked crisp and like his alliance with the Crew but this was pretty meaningless.

ER: Just think where we all were in life 31 weeks ago. I was a young, virile 33 year old, head full of dreams. Now I'm a worn out zombie of a 34 year old, victim to the inevitable march of Time. I would love to hear HHH's Tough Enough take on Blue Demon's back bumps. Replacing B-Boy with Chavo is a major upgrade for The Crew so that's a good thing. But yeah this wasn't much.

2. Disciples of Death vs. Pimpinela Escarlata, Mascarita Sagrada & Bengala

PAS: Kind of strange to debut your new creepy monster tag team against a comedy trio. I love Pimpi, but demons from the underworld probably shouldn't have to sell fear of his taint. Bengala is apparently Ricky Marvin, and that dude has gotten tubby. Nothing I love more then a tubby highflyer and he hit some cool stuff. I am not sure who is under the Disciples masks, but I was pretty unimpressed, cool look and some cool mannerisms, but not much in the ring.

ER: I couldn't get a feel for any of the Disciples, but none of them looked very good doing the limited things they did. Their formula appeared to be weak stomp -> weak clubbing forearm -> tilt your head to the side -> take a long time to set up your two triple team moves. I do like Ricky Marvin coming in, and am also amused at Phil fat shaming him when he looks maybe 10 lb. heavier than when I last saw him. That Phil can be a real catty bitch. Liked Marvin's tornillo, liked Pimpi flying crotch first into a fan, but overall this wasn't good.

ER: "Johnny, you gave me a black eye. Who cares? I look great in sunglasses." Dario is awesome. But then Dario agrees to put Mundo in a 45 minutes match, and suddenly I don't find him as awesome.

3. Drago vs. King Cuerno vs. Hernandez vs. Cage

PAS: Drago gets in the match because all four guys had previously fought Puma, but because was banned he had to put up his mask. Awesome more impromptu mask matches, one of my least favorite things about this fed. This was a fun indy four-way which is a match type this fed does well. All four guys hit very cool dives, although it was pretty ominous that Cuerno was calling out Killshot, I was hoping he was Matanza food not a guy getting a high profile singles feud. Seemed to be setting up Cage v. Cuerno, but they never really faced off. For a guy putting up his mask, never got a huge amount of urgency from Drago.

ER: Awesome new gear on Drago, love the bat wings. And not only did they inform the TV viewer of the mask match in an earlier vignette, it appears like they announced it to the live crowd literally right before the bell. That is just so so stupid. Also, I was actually bummed when Drago got banished from the fed. I figured he was actually gone for good, or at minimum several months. But here we are like 5 weeks later and I haven't even had the chance to miss him. That's just lazy and pointless writing, and you can only play loose with stipulations so many times before a fanbase doesn't care. Right now there's a nice little bubble of people who are way into this fed, best to not squander that. Vampiro also points out how scaly Drago is looking, and I'm now thinking they should have saved this gimmick for a young flyer with psoriasis. I mean that is a skin condition that practically looks identical to the name of a famous luchador anyway. Starting to feel like a missed opportunity to bring some charity awareness to it. But I liked the match, I think just about every 4 way the fed has put on has been good. Couple rough moments like Drago and Hernandez not really catching Cage on a moonsault to the floor (though that did inadvertently create a good reason for Cage to be on the floor during the pinfall), and of course Cuerno takes the loss because fuck that guy apparently. Still, good action, and their 4 ways never overstay their welcome and that's a very important and often overlooked thing with this kind of match. I liked little moments like Drago going for a double clothesline and not budging Hernandez/Cage, dug Cuerno's right hands, Cage's surprisingly effective moonsault, and both men know how to work well in a multi man, without everybody getting in everybody's way.

PAS: This fed constantly makes the same weird booking mistake, running the same kind of thing on one show in multiple different ways, diluting the impact. We have had shows where multiple guys were breaking up with their valets, multiple shows where Puma faces a muscled up monster on the same show that Fenix faces a muscled up monster, now we have a show built around the return of the exiled Drago on the same show with the return of the exiled Blue Demon Jr., the exiled Chavo Guerrero Jr., the exiled Mascarita Sagrada and the exiled Escarlata Pimpinela, basically every wrestler who has been sent away from the temple all came back on the same show. It makes no basic storytelling sense.

PAS: This was another lackluster show, and I don't have high hopes for an hour of Johnny Mundo next week

ER: I think the last match at least made this episode better than Episode 30 (which was one of the worst of the series), but next week's iron man match with Mundo has me not expecting much. I mean, how many good iron matches have even happened in wrestling history? Rude/Steamboat is easily the best. Does Rock/HHH hold up? So right there we have one, maybe two good iron man matches, ever. That doesn't give very good odds for next week. And with that, Catrina's tits bring us to episode's end.


LUCHA UNDERGROUND EPISODE GUIDE

Read more!

Lucha Underground Episode 15: Eye for an Eye Workrate Report

1. Mil Muertes vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr.

ER: Well. This was…okay? Kinda felt like treading water. I liked Chavo's plancha. The best stuff all happened post match as Muertes punches a chair out of Chavo's hands and then lands his best right hand of the match. It is kinda funny that Russo rumors circulated last week and this week we have Muertes choking Catrina and almost doing his finisher on her (yes yes I know these were taped months ago). I also liked Fenix and Catrina's super sloppy drunk person make out sesh.

PAS: I liked Chavo in this fine and this was the best in ring match of a pretty weak show. Don't really know if we established Muertes and Catrina's relationship enough to have their break up mean a ton. Also have no idea who the face and who the heel in their relationship is.

ER: I've gotten so used to the low hanging fruit advertising aimed at us dummy wrestling fans that I mostly just tune out and fast forward if possible, but man is it a little jarring seeing gory Lucio Fulci movies advertised on TV during wrestling.

2. Ivelisse vs. Angelico

ER: This was amusing for what it was. Ivelisse's stuff looked good, if unlikely. I liked how supportive and helpful Son of Havoc was. It's refreshing not seeing the jealous man angle. I like the idea of loser Son of Havoc being the jobless stay-at-home boyfriend who still doesn't really do his share of the chores.

PAS: No idea why you'd do two breakup angles back to back. This seemed like sort of a waste of time to me, although Angelico does have some sleazebag charisma.

3. Super Fly vs. Texano

ER: Not really the debut path I would have taken for Texano, working mirror sequences with a flier, but whatever. Now the post match stuff with Patron was great. Texano laces into him with a couple stiff shots on the floor and Alberto goes off and beats him with nasty shots with the bull rope wrapped around his fist.

PAS: Texano's finisher is really dumb looking. I also really dug the post match brawl. I haven't seen any of the Patron v. Texano matches in AAA, but this made me want to check some of them out.

4. Bael, Cortez Castro & Mr. Cisco vs. Pimpinela Escarlata, Sexy Star & Mascarita Sagrada

ER: I thought this served its purpose. Dario set up The Crew with some theoretical tomato cans, two of whom they dispatched easily and the other they toyed with too long. Pimpi got dealt with first and I really liked the way he sold being choked out by the kendo stick. Cisco generously bumps a bit for Sagrada but eventually they hit a rough curb stomp and nasty apron powerbomb on him and B-Boy finally does something that looks decent by yakuza kicking Sagrada on the floor (the overhead camera shot betrays us again as Sagrada does a dive but it doesn't look like much with that view). That leaves us with The Crew taking on Sexy Star, and some stuff looked better than others but I thought this was effective if they actually plan on continuing to push Star. Ryck comes down the temple stairs looking like one hoss motherfucker, allowing Star to get a reverse roll-up on Bael (jeez he could have at least attempted to get one of his shoulders down for the pin. He was leaned way up into her ass crack so that it didn't even look like a pin). Striker even made a Donovan Morgan reference, which is weird.

PAS: I would have rather seen the first part of this match be a little more even until they started taking people out. Pimpi is a great brawler, and he falls really fast. I did like the curbstomp on the chair, if you a writing someone out, that is a nasty way to do it. There were moments in the Sexy Star match, but other stuff did not look good.

ER: Kind of a flat show this week. Most weeks the hour breezes right by but this one kind of dragged. Not much good in the wrestling department and not much to the backstage segments.

PAS: Yeah this was the worst show they have done. Also really odd booking having implied sexual assault in three separate segments. Really hurts the main event threatened rape, if that is an undercard spot too. Really feels like the part of Foley's book where he had a bloody match planned against Gilbert and they ran a first blood battle royal as the opener.


LUCHA UNDERGROUND MASTER LIST

Read more!

Lucha Underground Episode 11: Last Luchador Standing Workrate Report

1. Cortez Castro & Mr. Cisco vs. Pimpinela Escarlata & Mascarita Sagrada

ER: I've actually been liking Cisco a lot during his LU run and I thought he looked great in this. He bumps way bigger than Cortez and I think he has a bunch of really great offense. He takes moves way better than the other guys and this match was a good showcase for that, as Pimpi has a few moves that require both heels to bump at the same time and Cisco always looked better. Sagrada was also downplayed as he hits a couple ranas and a flip dive (which B-Boy bumps terribly and makes it look like he got barely grazed with a Nerf football). I like how the rudos isolate him and make the most of the size disadvantage. I still like what Pimpi is bringing to the fed (even though I've seen him getting dumped on a lot). I always think he looks fine and again, Cisco made a lot of his stuff look great.

PAS: I really enjoyed this, the crew added in a lot of nasty looking cheap shots, and Pimpi may not have the athletic juice of his younger days, he still knows how to lay it in, time comebacks and elicit sympathy. I am adding my voice to the praising of Cisco. What the fuck happened to B-Boy? He was always a guys who's instincts I questioned a bit, but his execution was always good, he has looked awful in every moment of action in this fed, did he have a stroke or something?

ER: Post match and everybody turns on Big Ryck and jumps him, brutally burning his eye with his own cigar. Nasty stuff. I'm not sure what to make of the turn but Ryck seems an odd guy to be a babyface in this promotion as it's a little tough to regularly get behind a guy who won't be an underdog in any situation. Maybe Cueto digs the "strength in numbers" thing but still curious about storyline reasons for Dario paying fat stacks of cash to take out the other guy he was paying cash. Striker is still WWE conditioned as he states Ryck has been taken to a "medical facility".

PAS: I have enjoyed the look and vibe of the backstage stuff in this fed, but the motivations have often been lacking. Cueto has great delivery, but nothing he does makes any sense. What happened to the monster he had locked up anyway? Why did he pay one group of thugs to take out another thug he payed to take out John Morrison? I am worried we are getting the same lazy writing that has plagued wrestling for the last 20 years, with a slightly flashier package.

ER: Cage interview sure wasn't much. This man has not been given the gift of speech. He had an almost comically bad delivery. Vampiro looked absurd, like Vic Mackey going under cover to stop a Byz Lats drug ring.

PAS: I like Vampiro as an aggressive interviewer. He is better in that role, than at commentary.

2. Super Fly vs. Pentagon Jr.

ER: Kind of an aimless match with a couple of cool spots. A lot of this was centered around Pentagon attacking Super Fly's leg, and Super Fly yelling about his battered leg, but outside of yelling and holding his leg after getting kicked it never seemed to bother him too much. We do get a bunch of fun superkicks that just made me want a Chris Adams style superkick match, and Pentagon does his brutal dropkick to a moonsaulting opponent, but this didn't add up to much for me.

PAS: I liked this more then Eric. Pentagon is at his best as a nasty asskicker, and I like him beating on dudes better then flying around trying to match spot for spot with guys like Fenix.


3. Sexy Star vs. Mariachi Loco

ER: This felt like the kind of match they should have had when Sexy Star debuted. Instead this match was spent acting like Star has always been an equal to her male counterparts, when they could have just done something like this the first week and had it established that she's equal. That said I liked this match and Star's comebacks and offensive runs were logical, and she even brought some stiff work especially with some kicks to the face. I dug all her armdrags and her capitalizing on Mariachi's mistakes made sense in the match.

PAS: Yeah this was pretty good, Sexy Star was really laying it in, and Marachi Loco was good too as a bumbling heel bumping around. Not really sure where they are going with her now that the Chavo feud is over, but I wouldn't mind Pimpi turning heel and a feud between those two.

4. Last Luchador Standing: King Cuerno vs. Drago

ER: Well this was disappointing, but I'm also a guy who dislikes Last Man Standing matches more than a lot of people. It's a stip that just constantly interrupts the action, with a big move and then lying around waiting. There have been LMS matches that I've enjoyed but usually with me it just ends up getting in the way of what could have been a fine normal match. And it doesn't help when you have a goofy ending where apparently it counts as a guy not being able to stand, when the other guy is physically preventing him from doing so? That took what could have been a brutal finish in a No DQ match, into a confusing finish. Both guys have shown a good rhythm together, and this stip took away that rhythm, as instead of a grueling match it just came across as a restart after every move. We still got big spots like the Cuerno tope and a sick Michinoku Driver to the floor, I just don't think overall the stip helped them.

PAS: I didn't mind the pacing as much as Eric, Cuerno is already deliberate, which is what I like about him, so the pauses kind of worked with the pacing of his matches. The pace differences is what I like about this series. Still that was a pretty dumb finish. Especially if this was supposed to end the feud. This show had some fun action, but it really made me question their booking


LUCHA UNDERGROUND MASTER LIST

Read more!

Lucha Underground Episode 9: Aztec Warfare Workrate Report

PAS: One match show with no backstage vignettes which does take away a bit from the camp part of the show I enjoy so much. Aztec Warfare was a Royal Rumble with pinfalls and submissions which allowed guys to do dives, and we got a bunch of them. Lots of crazy flips, but again my favorite was Cuerno's bullet tope which was a missile. They did a nice job of weaving a bunch of stories through the match, the Chavo v. Sexy Star stuff, finishing how they started with Puma and Mundo. It had a very Pat Patterson rumble feel to it. Loved Ryck obliteration Sagrada, they really should have done a stretcher job. I also liked how they protected Ryck and Muertes by having them take multiple kill shots before going down.  Just solid stuff, which makes me intrigued about where they go forward

ER: "Aztec Warfare continues to change wrestling as we know it," said Matt Striker, 4 minutes into what was introduced as "the most brutal match in existence". But it's a Royal Rumble with pinfalls instead of over the top rope eliminations. They've had a couple of pretty violent matches in their short history so the build up and hype for what turned out to be a battle royal was kind of perplexing. I don't love the idea of one match taking up a whole episode, but I thought overall it worked as a large collection of spots. I did get majorly burnt out on Mundo by the end of this, especially his ultra athletic bumping. Most of the times his bumps feel really disconnected from the actual moves he is taking. It's like he takes the move, and there's a split second pause before he just does a flip. The worst was taking a nice rana from Sexy Star, he just stood afterwards and then somersaulted on his own. There were many moments of stuff just like this. A whole episode of Mundo is too mucho. But, he did blast Katrina with a crazy kick while she was on the apron, that might have gotten the biggest cheer of the entire match. Kind of came out of nowhere and made a big sound, great spot. Also felt like this match played like an In Memoriam to the superkick. Like this is the last time they were using it, so everybody was required to do a few of them. You could probably put together a pretty compelling tribute video of all the superkicks in this match, complete with Sarah MacLachlan's "Angel" playing over it. There had to be 30+ superkicks in this. It also drove me completely bonkers how Striker pronounced Blue Demon Jr. BLOO-dee-MOAN! BLOO-dee-MOAN. Just say Demon. Say fucking Demon. His emphasis is so fucking bizarre, it's like weird old movies from the 30s where they have foreign actors reading English words they don't know. I do love Vampiro pointing out stupid match strategy like breaking up pinfalls, and giving a logical reason for guys laying around all the time.

Still there was plenty about the match to like. I'd have to be a negative jerk to feel my time watching this was wasted. Almost all of the guys in here got fun moments to shine. I had complained about everybody working even with Sagrada in the last match, and this was like a direct response to me as Fenix dropkicks the shit out of him and Ryck smother clotheslines him to get him out of there quick. Chavo gets to come in and actually work the match logically, by blasting guys with chairs and eliminating them. Although it kind of made everybody else seem pretty stupid to not ever use a chair. I really dug Sexy Star's spots on Chavo, dug Mundo/Puma's 450s to vanquish a distracted and enraged Muertes, Cuerno has the best tope in lucha presently, even dug stuff like Mr. Cisco's chubby full contact sentons. Overall it felt like it was the end of a chapter, with some new stories beginning and others working towards more of a blow off, which makes for satisfying episodic television.


LUCHA UNDERGROUND MASTER LIST

Read more!

Lucha Underground Episode 8: A Unique Opportunity Workrate Report

1. 10 Man 1 Fall to Finish

ER: Dug Cueto hiding his shiner behind a pair of big shades. So I thought this was a battle royal, but then they explained the rules that first pinfall wins it, so really it was more like a 10 man scramble. This match both worked for me and did not work for me. There were some really fun moments. I liked Havoc's stuff with Puma, dug Cuerno's flattening tope, Havoc had some crazy high speed Space Flying Tiger Something into a crowd of people, tons of fun spots and go go go. What I couldn't stand about it was that everybody was on a completely equal plane and there was no established hierarchy. In the first 7 weeks the show did a nice job of establishing a hierarchy. We knew the top of the food chain and the bottom. Here everybody was the same. Mariachi Loco got more showcase spots than King Cuerno. Sagrada worked equally with Big Ryck. The Sagrada shit is really starting to annoy me at this point. Not only does everybody in the fed now work equal to him, but he sells less than any worker in the fed.  He'll take a move that would put a larger worker down, but when he takes it he's already moving into position to hit his next spot. The novelty is still there for most of the crowd so I get the push, but the novelty is over for me and seeing him put over so strongly over more believable, capable workers is just strange to my eyes.

PAS: Lots of fun dives in this, but this would have been a below average ROH scramble, it really needed Dixie to give it some structure. I don't get what Son of Havoc's deal is, he was a thug biker who was getting humiliated, and now he is breaking out the craziest high flying spots of the match. If they wanted Matt Cross to do his stuff, give him a different gimmick. Individually fun stuff, and I liked the end run with Puma and Fenix, although I am not sure how that singles match is going to work.

ER: Another Cage promo. "I am not a man, I am a machine." A machine that manufactures triceps tears, I imagine.

2. Boyle Heights Battle Royal

ER: Okay this is the battle royal. So another 10 people but more traditional "feet touch the floor" rules. And for a battle royal it was okayish. I like how Sexy Star went after Chavo until she was eliminated, how she had the blinders on to the rest of things and just wanted his blood. Mundo did his standard "guy who can't be eliminated" schtick, always hanging on during potential eliminations. Vampiro made me laugh one of the times he hung on by dropping "If Fit Finlay were in this he would have kicked Mundo's lungs out through his chest right now." I'm not sure what it had to do with anything, but he's probably right, and I kind of would like a regular "What Would Finlay Do" updates during matches. Shoot, any wrestler ever could think WWFD and it would always make them a better wrestler. Last week Vampiro randomly brought up his Wrestle Society X match with X-Pac (the best match of that promotion's run), so who knows what other surprises lurk in his brain. The ending went on a little too long for me, felt like an endless series of Mundo getting almost tossed, then getting back in. Plus once it was down to Mundo and a couple others we got a bunch of really bad Mundo offense. Really bad knees from the clinch (a couple really whiffed by 2 feet), floppy kicks to nowhere, pretty flashy bunch of nothing.

PAS: I don't mind Mundo's goofy stuff, and the last three with Chavo, Mundo and Muertes was pretty neat. Chavo taking that German suplex like Kenta Kobashi was pretty crazy. Chavo has been so good in this fed so far, I really hope he gets something interesting to do. Still it was a battle royal, and had the flaws of a battle royal.

3. Mil Muertes vs. Fenix

ER: This match didn't do tons for me either. Dario's pre-match promo was kind of clunky, taking the scenic route to get to his announcement of AZTEC WARFARE, which is the most dangerous and extreme match EVER devised…and I suppose we'll find out what it actually is in a few weeks when they come back after the holidays. Fenix and Muertes didn't match up very well, with Muertes have to stand around for some silly offense (the worst offender being a dorky handspring into a diamond cutter). I just wasn't feeling this one.

PAS: Fenix gets really exposed in singles matches, and Muertes isn't a great opponent for him. Nothing much to see here.

PAS: I did love Dario backstage with the belt. "I know you like to break pretty things" is a pretty bad ass line, really looking forward to this surprise.


LUCHA UNDERGROUND MASTER LIST

Read more!

Lucha Underground Episode 6: The Key Workrate Report

ER: Noticed Chris DeJoseph's name in the producer credits for the first time. So I was wrong when I said no former WWE writers/producers were involved. Apparently the guy who wrote himself onto TV as Big Dick Johnson was picked as the wrestling mind involved with this show. Can't say I actually ever saw one of his segments as Big Dick Johnson, because I have the magic powers of fast forward.

PAS: I liked the opening segment with Big Ryck and Dario, although Big Ryck probably shouldn't talk as his Island accent kind of goes against the character a bit.

ER: Yeah the island accent was totally jarring as I didn't remember what he sounded like in WWE. Although damn now I'm kinda bummed that they didn't tweak his gimmick a bit and make him more of an island thug, like Julius Harris in Live and Let Die.

ER: Pre-match Ivelisse says that "they didn't sign a 7 year contract to fight women and half men". Jesus, a 7 year contract handed out to Son of Havoc?! Clearly a guy the promotion probably could have afforded to go year-to-year on.

1. Son of Havoc vs. Pimpinela Escarlata

PAS: Fun match with Pimpi being as electric as I remembered him. His over hand chops are Ron Garvin great. Son of Havoc should have left that goofus gymnastics ring post splash back in his MadDogg20 days, it is a dumb spot when it is done by a guy who's gimmick is straight edge yarder, it is really dumb if he is supposed to be a masked biker. Match went a little off the rails when Pimpi torched his arm, although he is such a pro that he pretty seamlessly integrated it into the match.

ER: YES! It's great to see Pimpi back on my TV. It's been too long. Actually quite surprised that Cassandro wasn't signed up for this show now that I think about it. I loved this match. If this was something that had taken place on WCW Worldwide it would be legendary. Pimpi was great as ever, his chops were brutal (the ones to Havoc's back were Fassbender-esque), he always has a nice missile dropkick, and also broke out a crazy spinning heel kick off the apron. And of course the bumps. Here he takes a big one into the corner and another spilling to the floor off the apron in sick fashion. Now, that shoulder injury…I think he may just be really great at setting up a "I think that was real!" fall (the way Chris Hamrick used to do) and then is just good enough to make it look like he has a real shoulder injury. I remember seeing him do something similar to this years ago in AAA with a knee injury. I don't think this is quite like seeing KISS for a second time and being disappointed that Ace Frehley (Bruce Kulick?) knocks the SAME light fixture loose with his firework launching guitar. I think Pimpi is just real good at setting up unique match plots and then following them through (the only two tells for me were him holding the ropes to block the sunset flip, and the ref holding up the arm with the bad shoulder). I also though Havoc looked fine in this, and I kind of like the dorky ass flagpole elbow drop. Phil's right that it doesn't work at all for some sort of masked biker, but I like it as a CrossFit douchebag showoff spot. I hope it has a name like "The P90X-Factor".

2. Mil Muertes v. Famous B

PAS: I am over the Mil Murtes squash, I think they have established the guy enough over the last couple of weeks, hell they had him squash a guy pushed as an iconic legend in his first week, no need to have him squash a jobber in week six. He also needs a better finisher, there is nothing more played out then the flatliner. I like Mesias, I enjoyed the Drago match, I just am over this, and if anyone out there can hear me, GET HIM BETTER PANTS!!

ER: Good god those pants. How hard would it be to get some black tights with Aztec imagery? He's got the headdress already! That had to be way harder to obtain. Famous B did his job in this match, bumping around nicely for Muertes' Attitude Era offense. I look forward to seeing how Muerte's Roll the Dice or Play of the Day look.

PAS: I was asking for a Drago vignette and they delivered. I loved the little kid voice over, it sounded like it was the intro to a Wu-Tang track, like something off of a Killa Priest solo project.

3. King Cuerno v. Drago

PAS: These guys match up really well. Like their previous match Cuerno does a good job modulating speed, his gimmick of the deliberate hunter, stalking athletic pray works nicely in this kind of spot fest. He also has one of the best tope's in wrestling which can capture my heart. They mentioned that they are tied up one to one, so I hope the rubber match is in the main event time slot so it can get a little more time.

ER: Another fun sprint from these guys. I like how they're keeping track of wins and losses, always referencing who beat who and how they beat them. Striker can be insufferable ("how can I force in a Michael Dokes reference…") but he gets full credit for making near falls mean more by pointing out what move a guy beat another guy with, stuff like that. Drago's flip dive was crazy as about 5" farther would have sent his tailbone into the temple steps. Cuerno's dive though, is just a flawless tope. Highspeed, great follow through (doesn't just make contact and bail away from opponent) and just totally engulfs his opponent. Drago has huge balls to man up to it.

PAS: Nice set up to the 3-way ladder match, Cuerto has been a little too bumbling in the last couple of weeks so it is good to see him show a little cunning. I also am official intrigued by the key, there hasn't been a good mystery angle in wrestling in forever (ever? has there ever been a good mystery angle?)

ER: Boy at the same time I noticed Puma's right hands looking nice during this, I also noticed how shockingly bad Mundo's looked. It looked like he was running a Chris Chetti throwback gimmick. 3-way matches as a rule don't get me very excited, but last week this fed did a classic overbooked ECW garbage match and it was awesome, maybe they can work some magic with this format. Man, as for successful mystery angles….probably just Hogan joining the nWo? I wasn't really watching wrestling at the time so I couldn't say if it was actually shockingly to "insider" fans. Actually, and this may sound ridiculous, but Kurt Angle debuting with TNA was genuinely surprising, and the "what big star will debut" mystery was kept pretty secret if I remember right. I mean, I wasn't excited about watching Angle in TNA, but that was a mystery angle (harhar) with a satisfying and surprising reveal to a lot of fans. Which is possibly because most people assumed the debuting big star would be Jim Neidhart or something.

4. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Pentagon Jr. v. Sexy Star/Fenix

PAS: Tag matches are a much better place for Sexy Star then singles matches, she can hit and run and we don't have to watch her try to overpower a much bigger man one and one for an extended time. Liked the pacing of this too, as Chavo and Pentagon cut the ring off, and punish Fenix before the big wild finish. Not completely sold on Fenix, he has some flashy stuff, but his in between work isn't nearly as solid as most of the other pushed guys on this show. He is obviously being pushed big, and I am not sure he is ready for it. Not sure where Chavo goes from here, but he is clearly playing his role with gusto.

ER: I liked this match and especially dug the Chavo/Pentagon team. Fenix was a little exposed in an actual tag format, as he still has some spectacular looking spots but they work better when he's able to run through a bunch of them while a base gets into position for him. His stuff is harder to integrate in a hot tag situation, or when he has to, you know, sell. Still I love that flipping powerbomb rana, and his floppy dives are fun. Chavo looked really good here and I know people have complained about some "WWE style" stuff creeping into Lucha Underground, but when you see a match like this and Chavo is really the only one who knows how to do a convincing headlock to build heat, you kinda appreciate it.


LUCHA UNDERGROUND MASTER LIST

Read more!

And I Don't Want to Know if Cassandro's Lonely/Don't Want to Know if He is Less Than Lonely

~Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/Pasion Cristal/Pimpinela Escarlata (AAA, 4/10/08) - VERY GOOD

Boy the Night Queens are just the largest grab bag in all of exotico-based lucha libre. They range from being extremely fun to being the worst wrestlers you have ever seen. And they were completely not horrible at all in this match. Polvo looked really good here and really set up spots nicely, getting into good position. The other at least can eat a rana and do some cool garbage spots.

Cassandro completely owned this one, just running around like mad and hitting all kinds of awesome spots. His springboard huracanrana is a really a thing of beauty, and he had a great somersault tope (along with his always nutso ringpost bump). Pimpi had some great stuff here including an awesome bombs away butt drop off the top, and Pasion Cristal ranged from looking really crummy to really taking some nasty garbage spots. The Night Queens putting his head in a trash can, then missile drop kicking it was pretty great.

This match was really fun, but rather short. That might've been for the best, as too much stuff was going well all at once, we might've been pushing our luck to ask for more.

~Incognito/Mascara Ano Dos Mil Jr. vs. Cassandro/Hijo del Cien Caras (Promociones Wagner, 8/2/08) - SKIPPABLE

This match wasn't really all that bad, it was just filled with more hermanos antics (and not fun rudo antics, more lame finger poke of doom antics). Initially I was super disappointed, as the matchlist I had did not mention that these were the Dinamitas SONS. So I was salivating over the potential for Cien Caras beating down the Juarez Mystico, or Mascara Ano Dos Mil's undoubtedly AWESOME facials when Cassandro tried to kiss him, OR even the brothers going against EACH OTHER!! All sounded like incredible options.

But then the sons came out instead. I don't know if they're the real sons, but I'm assuming they're not. I mean, I hope they're not as they both appear to be in their mid 30s and don't have an ounce of their supposed fathers' talent.

So Cassandro and Incognito match up really nicely and Cassandro was able to work a bunch of cool spots and roll ups with him. It's not even so much that the jr. Dynamite Bros are bad...they're just really uninteresting. They let Cassandro and Incognito hit their spots, then one would just let the other pin him (they're on opposite teams! It's wacky!). Crowd seemed to genuinely want them to fight each other, but they wouldn't. By the 3rd caida they just started working as a team and the match ended when Cassandro and Incognito each got the pin on seemingly their own respective teammates. I really had no complaints about who was the legal man at that point, but was just hoping for a little more creatively. Maybe the brothers could've done some subtle dissension, like when Billy Zabka's teammate Bobby is told to do an illegal move to take Daniel out of the Karate Kid tournament, and he does it but is instantly remorseful. Bobby never understood why they were beating up Daniel so much. It wasn't HIS ex-girlfriend that had the hots for Daniel, it was Johnny's! So they're fucking dressed up like skeletons and beating the shit out of Daniel and Bobby's like "He's had enough Johnny" and fuck man, he probably didn't even WANT to do karate but maybe his parents got a divorce and he was a latchkey kid or something and he just wanted something to do in the afternoons to take his fucking mind off all the serious shit in his life, but then all that serious shit starts becoming JUST AS SERIOUS and he has to forfeit his own fucking place in the tourney all because Billy Zabka wants to square off in the finals against Daniel, at ANY cost. Ralph Macchio was 23 in that movie, by the way. What the fuck, right?

Cassandro looked really good here, but it just wasn't meant to be.

~Cassandro vs. Chuck Taylor (IWA-MS, 9/26/08) - FUN

I think this match is unfairly maligned by the internet fans of Cassandro. Cards on the table, Chuck Taylor is pretty bad most of the time. Sometimes he doesn't look as bad, namely when he's teaming up with the far worse dudes that make up Team F.I.S.T. He's not good, but he ain't anywhere near as bad as Icarus. Yeah, his brand of "wink into the camera" comedy that makes him the Ryan Reynolds of wrestling can get a little old a little fast, but I thought it worked quite nicely against Cassandro, a man who knows how to integrate comedy into and around his awesome wrestling.

Tracey Smothers was on commentary here which is entertaining beyond belief. Some of his asides were just awesome: "He's exotic and everything he is, but uh, he knows his stuff" or "I'm familiar with his stuff, but I've never seen him live". Cassandro IS exotic and everything he is! And the idea of Smothers being familiar with Cassandro's work before this tournament is just fucking rad. Smothers just sitting around watching random AAA dvds and saying, "Man this fucker is exotic and everything". It's a visual I want to have.

The match itself it really awesome when Taylor doesn't wrestle. Every time he tries to do something like a clubbing forearm it's just as ugly as ugly gets. But his comedy works really well here. Cassandro naturally wants his goods, and Taylor is great trying to avoid a mid-match makeout session. Hiding behind the ref, getting through the ropes, it's all fun but you know that kiss is inevitable. His post-kiss sell is really great, as while Cassandro has him in a leg lock he's alternating selling his leg with trying to wipe another man's saliva off his mouth. He also takes the "run face first into Cassandro's ass" corner spot really great. I praise Fit Finlay for always leaning right into punches, forearms, and kicks, and making them look way better than they should at times......so it seems odd to praise Chuck Taylor for leaning into somebody's ass....but damn if Taylor didn't lean right the hell into Cassandro's ass to completely put over that awesome spot.

Cassandro has some troubles with the ultra loose ropes but totally makes up for it by hitting an absolutely insane somersault tope that crashes right through Taylor (nice catch, doofus) and lands him through about 8 chairs. Totally crazy. So yeah, this match had a lot going for it and was totally fun, more than made up for Taylor's usual lousiness and the weird ending.

Read more!

It Reassures Me Just to Know That Cassandro's OK

~Pimpiniela Escarlata/Casanova/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/Zumbido/Antifaz (Arena Coliseo de Monterrey, 1/8/06) - FUN

Cassandro attacks Pimpi to start and it is ON. Pimpi looks insanely awesome here. He looks like the freakiest awkward stage of a 12 yr. old girl's life. He had a bleach blonde bob with a singlet that made him look like a demented aerobics instructor. Cassandro has rad Fabulous Moolah hair here and worked really stiff the entire match. His opening punch to Pimpi looked completely bell-ringing. Once back in the ring he lands a couple of really painful dropkick variations, getting vaulted into the air by his teammates and just nailing dudes in the corner.

Cassandro and Pimpi have been working together for about 16 or 17 years at this point, so it's no real surprise that they know how to run a great sequence together. Nobody's ever surprised when Negro Navarro runs through a decent sequence with Solar, nobody was ever surprised when Gena Rowlands turned in a good performance in a John Cassavetes movie. Some things just go well together and never get old. These two run through different sequences every time I see them work, and they have a hot run here. Cassandro tries to powerbomb Pimpi off a hurraranrana attempt, only to have Pimpi counter with his weight and turn it into a balls-to-the-face seated senton. Cassandro tries his own running flying headscissors and Pimpi just ducks, causing Cassandro to just land hard on his butt, legs out. Then Cassandro charges into the corner and gets tossed head over heels onto the floor. If you haven't noticed, Cassandro can take some massively dangerous bumps to the floor.

Arena Coliseo de Monterrey never has a shortage of juiced up former strippers working as luchadors, and Casanova is exactly that. Cassandro wanted Casanova's business, and did not keep it secret in a hilarious secret. Cassandro kept purposely blowing a "slide through the legs" spot with Casanova, the first time not sliding far enough through and ending up face first in his crotch, the second time trying to slide through Casanova's legs saw his slide come up too short, ending in some rump to groin that Casanova had to pretend he hated. Casanova was torn. The men in the crowd saw his longing, saw the pain through his cut stripper physique. But Casanova is paid because the ladies love him. True love, or your dedicated lady fans? Their love was a lie.

Sangre Chicana can still go, man. He had lost his hair about a week before this, so was just a maniac with a shaved head, just punching and bumping and just generally being a bad ass. Finish comes when poor Pimpi gets punted right in the balls by Zumbido, who just looks like someone who would punt you right in the balls.


~Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/El Ángel/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super AAA (AAA, 10/18/07) - SKIPPABLE

God damn you Night Queens. You always have a few good spots in you, but most of the time your matches are a race to see who can get in the worse position possible for the tecnicos' offense.

The Queens are wearing some garish purple get-ups, with Polvo's torn leotard holding tight his round physique, and Nygma's velveteen flared jumpsuit hugging his body in all sorts of unflattering ways. Their fashion just cannot compete with Cassandro and Pimpi's stereo satin white robes (with Cassandro rocking a kicky white top hat to boot!).

The Night Queens don't blow it until the 2nd Caida, as they had some decent moments during the 1st. Polvo hit a nice pudgy senton and Jesse hit a colossal Alabama (Nuevo Leon?) Jam while Pimpi was draped across somebody's knees. Those were good looking spots right there.

And then the rest of the match happened. Night Queens just try and make every base spot as awkward looking as possible. Angel tries a rana from the apron to the floor, and Nygma starts backpedaling as he catches him then just kind holds his crotch to his face, then finally regains his balance enough to do a really poor somersault out of it. Later on he gets into position for a armdrag a good 15 seconds too early. They stumble through some rote sequences and then Night Queens expertly try and screw up the dive train (which is beginning to seem like their specialty). Pimpi had to stop a dive in mid air (he was doing a somersault tope and never let go of the ropes) due to the Queens not looking in the right direction (you know, towards the ring) in the 12/14/07 match, and here they do the same fucking thing!! Except - AWESOMELY - Pimpi at full speed does NOT put on the brakes and just barrels through them coming out totally sideways like Mike Knox's flying crossbody, just obliterating a Queen. Cassandro is smart and opts to stop his dive, as it would have been sure death to rely on one of these clowns to catch him.

The end is really fun as Cassandro misses a moonsault on Polvo, opts to try it again, and Polvo gets up and just clubs him off the top rope, with Cassandro getting dumped back in the ring right on his head...which AAA's expert camera's naturally miss.

There are still more Night Queens match ups left to go. I am frontloading them. At least the 10/26/07 one was awesome. Naturally that was the one I watched first, and when the outlier happens to be the first match you see...God damn you Night Queens.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

Read more!

Angels Pacing, Gently Placing, Roses 'Round Cassandro's Head

~Cassandro/Billy Boy/Fabi Apache/Mini Abismo Negro vs. Cinthia Moreno/Mascarita Sagrada 2007/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly Lumberjack Match, AAA, 10/7/07) - GREAT

All of the AAA minis act as the lumberjacks here and it is just too much fun. Cassandro controlled the whole match, which I've never seen before. He is usually the guy in the role of stealing a match in AAA, not leading a match. He obviously needs to lead matches more, as he was just incredible here. Also, his outfit was an amazing black glittery Zach Ryder-style one-legged pantsuit with roses on it. So rad.

He really does it all here, playing up a maestro role that I've never seen him do, but still squeezing in great comedy moments. He'd roll through a submission sequence (and I've never seen him do many submissions, but he busts out a cool octopus variation and an awesome indian deathlock pin), but then also steals the show when he would get thrown to the floor and run screaming from all the minis trying to attack him. Just a total tour de force performance.

That is not to say the others weren't impressive here as well, as this is amongst the best Billy Boy performances I've ever seen. He shows a lot of passion and character here, and sometimes he can come off as just soooo bland. He has some real fine moments here, though; my favorite being when Super Fly was going for a pin, Billy Boy casually walks in, stops the ref's arm from counting, then turns around and just kicks Fly right in the stomach. Awesome. Fabi and Moreno are also really good in this. They're just so smooth at working spots in and out of all the craziness, and they match up well with both the male workers, and each other. Great, fun match.

~Cassandro/Intocable/Mascara Divina/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA, 12/14/07) - SKIPPABLE

Wow this was awful. I was looking forward to Cassandro and Pimpi teaming, and those guys were definitely NOT the problem in this match. Spice Boy Intocable is bad, but Mascara Divina is just absolutely awful. Every time he gets the chance to shine he just completely blows it. During the end run dive train he opts for a somersault tope and looks like a total load, holding onto the ropes for too long so instead of landing on anybody he just flips over the ropes, lands on his butt on the apron, not close to anybody, then to cover decides to throw a punch that whiffs by about two feet. It just totally falls apart here. Cassandro tried his damndest to hold the dive train together as while everybody is lying around he's the only one trying to catch most of the time. He catches three of the dives himself while all the other chumps are just lying around. Pimpi bails on his dive half way through as two of the Night Queens are just completely out of position. Just a whole big mess. Cassandro has a fun sequence with Yuriko and I'm consistently amused by Yuriko screaming whenever bailing to the floor. But just too little good to recommend this one.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

Read more!

Cassandro Was Always By My Side, and Never Tried to Leave

Gran Apache/May Flowers/Pimpinela Escarlata/Polvo de Estrellas vs. Cassandro/Alan/Billy Boy/Decnnis (AAA, 5/20/06) - FUN

Cassandro is wearing his completely awesome Wonder Woman outfit that I have never seen before. One thing about doing this project is that I can be completely amazed time and time again at the many different outfits of Cassandro. So far I have not seen the same outfit twice.

This match is full of dissension, as the Barrio Boys clearly don't agree with Cassandro's lifestyle choices and do not want to be teaming with him. Think about that: The BARRIO BOYS don't agree with Cassandro's lifestyle choices. So that's just not believable. I'm sure the Barrio Boys have made a boatload of bad life decisions. Gran Apache, on the other hand, has no problems whatsoever teaming with his group of exoticos, and is perfectly content to punch all the Barrio Boys right in the face (which I will never complain about).

This was all sorts of fun, as I always like May Flowers but he doesn't turn up too much anymore. Pimpi had a bunch of great moments including climbing the turnbuckle, back to the ring, and when Billy Boy tries to run in and stop him --> ass to the face, with a wiggle to boot! The Barrio Boys end up finally turning on Cassandro after a couple of miscues (that naturally involved some playful kisses), so then you had ALL the Barrio Boys, and ALL the exoticos ALL beating up poor Cassandro. It's just not fair.


La Fiera/Mocho Cota/Pimpinela Escarlata/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/El Brazo/Espectro Jr./Pirata Morgan (AAA, 6/18/06) - VERY GOOD

This was so awesome. Pimpi and Cassandro were the young bucks in this match, and they were both in their late 30s here. Almost everybody else in this match is in their 50s. But I am in the camp who feels that a lot of luchadors need about 30 years of seasoning before they really come into their own. That seems to be how it's gone the last 3 years, at least.

So seriously, motherfucking Mocho Cota, making tape in the 2000s!!! That just doesn't happen that often. I don't think I've seen any other Cota match from the 2000s. Anybody else have a stash of Cota from this decade that they're hoarding? Because he looked quite awesome here. Threw some fine punches, did an AWESOME shoulderblock sequence with Brazo, bouncing off and staggering around, before manning up and just plowing through Brazo. He threw a nice dropkick and did a great tope during the sprint. He looked the same as he did in '96 CMLL, just slightly looser skin.

Sangre Chicana was also a total boss in this as well, with real nice punches and a great tope. Everybody really gets their chance to shine in this. Espectro Jr. threw some nice punches, Brazo got to do a bunch of fun belly bumps and Sangre/Mocho/Fierra all fell awesomely and hilariously into place for Brazo's big splash. Fierra can still bump shockingly well, and Cassandro and Pimpi are themselves, so you know that rules.

Cassandro had awesome hair and looked like Dustin Hoffman as Dorothy in "Tootsie". I would really like to see a lucha match interpretive adaptation of Tootsie. I think Mano Negra would make a great Dabney Coleman. He has more hair, and no mustache, but he makes the same great bug-eyed Dabney Coleman expressions. Brazo already kinda looks like a tan Charles Durning, and it wouldn't be too hard to find a couple of the blonde lady workers with low self-esteem to portray the Jessica Lange and Terri Garr roles. Make this happen, somebody.

The Night Queens run in at the end and it becomes a giant schmozz, with allegiances breaking down. Sangre Chicana wandering around and just punching Night Queens in the face was amusing. The Queens were also all wearing rainbow sashes, just in case you forgot they were, ya know, Queens. Cassandro gets suplexed into the 2nd row and this was all kinda of great fun.


Oriental/Chikayo Nagashima/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Takashi Sugiura/Fabi Apache/Cassandro (AAA/SEM, 9/3/07) - GREAT

I assumed a lot of the guys would do it up pretty big since they were in Japan and don't tour there too often, and I was correct. This was a real unique mixture of talent in one match, and it worked out to be really awesome.

First off, Pimpi comes out in a full on bridal gown and tosses his bouquet to the crowd. It is amazing. Then Sugiura comes out and Pimpi gets all hot and bothered by his stocky physique and wants a piece of him, which causes Takashi to naturally freak out, lest his lips touch another mans'. I was not sure how Cassandro was going to be able to top it, and his entrance does not....but his amazing glittery Rising Sun singlet COMPLETELY does. This might be my favorite Cassandro singlet.

Fabi and Nagashima match up really nicely, and I haven't regularly watched joshi for most of this decade, but earlier in the decade when I was still checking out joshi with some regularity, she was easily one of my favorites in GAEA. She matched up even better with Cassandro, as they get into a hilarious slap exchange with Cassandro over-emoting to the crowd and the crowd eating it right up. She also takes a nice beating as at one point she's stuck in the corner, and Fabi does a great running kick right to her face, Cassandro does the most painful looking butt bump (aside from maybe Morishima, but Cassandro is literally half his size) right to her head, and Sugiura ends the trifecta with a nasty running elbow.

Cassandro ramps up the crazy for the Japanese crowd, getting an insane amount of distance on his "run full speed towards the corner and wrap myself around the turnbuckle" spot. I see the spot coming every time, but I always enjoy it more and more. So nuts. He also does the absolute fastest deadliest Jerry Estrada bump I've ever seen. Just a full on sprint into a flip right over the ropes. Just sheer madness.

This was like a random NOAH 6 man, and random NOAH 6 mans are one of my favorite style of matches possible. This one just had two really great lady workers and my two favorite exoticos. Well worth going out of your way to see. I wish Cassandro and Pimpi made it to Japan more often.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

Read more!

Then Cassandro Disintegrates Between a Wall of Clouds

Cassandro/Faby Apache/Mini Abismo Negro/Alfa vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Cinthia Moreno/Octagoncito/Oriental AAA 7/15/07 - EPIC

I love these matches. Exotico/Lady/Mini/Dude matches always entertain me to no end. Everybody seems to work up a notch and their is always constant action. There always seems to be a game of one-upsmanship going on and this took place at Triplemania, so they were working in front of a pretty large crowd. Pimpi and Cassandro start and Cassandro has a crazy Justin Beiber haircut. He and Pimpi tie up and do a great hair toss sequence where Cassandro's Beiber 'do just comes right off!! Ah, that's right, he lost his hair the night before in a giant cage match that will never ever see the light of day. So Cassandro is totally buzzed under his Bieber wig. His fury and embarrassment over losing his beautiful locks drives him to completely OWN this match, putting on possibly the greatest performance of his I have ever seen. Every time he's in he just does the most insane things known to man. After his initial exchange with Pimp he takes a monstrous bump over the top to the floor at an incredibly fast speed. Later he charges right at Oriental and takes his trademark insane bump off the ring post to the floor. Throw in an out-of-control Asai moonsault and some great miscommunication spots and he was just on fire here.

Cinthia Morena is always really fun and always matches up with smaller guys impressively, and I always love Faby Apache. Mini Abismo Negro bumps all over the place for everybody and Octagoncito does a crazy hurracanrana to the floor. It's all action all the time and there is not one bland moment here.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly/El Angel vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 10/26/07 - GREAT

Night Queens are wearing their ridiculous apricot-colored jammies and are all about coming up with new ways to smack the tecnicos with trash cans in this one. They start off by pummeling Super Fly and dumping him butt first in a trashcan, then putting the can up on the apron with him in it, then double baseball slide dropkicking it to the floor with him in it, landing him in all sorts of pain. Pimpi is the next to take the pain of the trash can, as he comes jumping off the ropes and gets clonked in the side of his head while his body goes splaying. We get some fun dive sequences, we get Cassandro and Pimpi doing their stereo sassy ropewalking into a hurracanrana and a flippy armdrag (respectively), followed by them doing an awesome hopscoth double-dutch tandem dance-off ending with a butt bump that makes you jealous that you don't have someone in your life to work on dance routines with you! Yuriko screams hilariously when he is about to take any sort of offense, Jesse wears the most garish pants ever made (some sort of apricot Zubaz pants with apricot plaid patches), and Cassandro KILLS himself at the end going for a dive as trashcans come back into play. Cassandro sets up a huge dive and one of the Queens holds up a trash can at the last second and Cassandro dives INTO the trashcan. He didn't get hit with it, he swooshed right into it and then got stomped while in the damn thing. Cold. Polvo kicks Pimp right in the balls to end it and this was all sorts of awesome.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Billy Boy/Mascara Divina vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 1/19/08 - SKIPPABLE

Cassandro and Pimpi are wearing their totally awesome black widow spider outfits and Cassandro has the coolest headdress in the history of humans wearing cool headdresses. The match never really gets going. I don't much care for Divina, especially now that he no longer works his "awesome" Televisa Deportes gimmick (which would be the equivalent of a U.S. worker being named ESPN Sportscenter), and Billy Boy doesn't do too much here. Polvo can be kind of a load at times and while there were fun moments, there was also plenty of patented AAA "Show a shot of people in the crowd while clipping". Still, it does have it's moments, but it is rather short and forgettable.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

Read more!