And I Don't Want to Know if Cassandro's Lonely/Don't Want to Know if He is Less Than Lonely

~Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/Pasion Cristal/Pimpinela Escarlata (AAA, 4/10/08) - VERY GOOD

Boy the Night Queens are just the largest grab bag in all of exotico-based lucha libre. They range from being extremely fun to being the worst wrestlers you have ever seen. And they were completely not horrible at all in this match. Polvo looked really good here and really set up spots nicely, getting into good position. The other at least can eat a rana and do some cool garbage spots.

Cassandro completely owned this one, just running around like mad and hitting all kinds of awesome spots. His springboard huracanrana is a really a thing of beauty, and he had a great somersault tope (along with his always nutso ringpost bump). Pimpi had some great stuff here including an awesome bombs away butt drop off the top, and Pasion Cristal ranged from looking really crummy to really taking some nasty garbage spots. The Night Queens putting his head in a trash can, then missile drop kicking it was pretty great.

This match was really fun, but rather short. That might've been for the best, as too much stuff was going well all at once, we might've been pushing our luck to ask for more.

~Incognito/Mascara Ano Dos Mil Jr. vs. Cassandro/Hijo del Cien Caras (Promociones Wagner, 8/2/08) - SKIPPABLE

This match wasn't really all that bad, it was just filled with more hermanos antics (and not fun rudo antics, more lame finger poke of doom antics). Initially I was super disappointed, as the matchlist I had did not mention that these were the Dinamitas SONS. So I was salivating over the potential for Cien Caras beating down the Juarez Mystico, or Mascara Ano Dos Mil's undoubtedly AWESOME facials when Cassandro tried to kiss him, OR even the brothers going against EACH OTHER!! All sounded like incredible options.

But then the sons came out instead. I don't know if they're the real sons, but I'm assuming they're not. I mean, I hope they're not as they both appear to be in their mid 30s and don't have an ounce of their supposed fathers' talent.

So Cassandro and Incognito match up really nicely and Cassandro was able to work a bunch of cool spots and roll ups with him. It's not even so much that the jr. Dynamite Bros are bad...they're just really uninteresting. They let Cassandro and Incognito hit their spots, then one would just let the other pin him (they're on opposite teams! It's wacky!). Crowd seemed to genuinely want them to fight each other, but they wouldn't. By the 3rd caida they just started working as a team and the match ended when Cassandro and Incognito each got the pin on seemingly their own respective teammates. I really had no complaints about who was the legal man at that point, but was just hoping for a little more creatively. Maybe the brothers could've done some subtle dissension, like when Billy Zabka's teammate Bobby is told to do an illegal move to take Daniel out of the Karate Kid tournament, and he does it but is instantly remorseful. Bobby never understood why they were beating up Daniel so much. It wasn't HIS ex-girlfriend that had the hots for Daniel, it was Johnny's! So they're fucking dressed up like skeletons and beating the shit out of Daniel and Bobby's like "He's had enough Johnny" and fuck man, he probably didn't even WANT to do karate but maybe his parents got a divorce and he was a latchkey kid or something and he just wanted something to do in the afternoons to take his fucking mind off all the serious shit in his life, but then all that serious shit starts becoming JUST AS SERIOUS and he has to forfeit his own fucking place in the tourney all because Billy Zabka wants to square off in the finals against Daniel, at ANY cost. Ralph Macchio was 23 in that movie, by the way. What the fuck, right?

Cassandro looked really good here, but it just wasn't meant to be.

~Cassandro vs. Chuck Taylor (IWA-MS, 9/26/08) - FUN

I think this match is unfairly maligned by the internet fans of Cassandro. Cards on the table, Chuck Taylor is pretty bad most of the time. Sometimes he doesn't look as bad, namely when he's teaming up with the far worse dudes that make up Team F.I.S.T. He's not good, but he ain't anywhere near as bad as Icarus. Yeah, his brand of "wink into the camera" comedy that makes him the Ryan Reynolds of wrestling can get a little old a little fast, but I thought it worked quite nicely against Cassandro, a man who knows how to integrate comedy into and around his awesome wrestling.

Tracey Smothers was on commentary here which is entertaining beyond belief. Some of his asides were just awesome: "He's exotic and everything he is, but uh, he knows his stuff" or "I'm familiar with his stuff, but I've never seen him live". Cassandro IS exotic and everything he is! And the idea of Smothers being familiar with Cassandro's work before this tournament is just fucking rad. Smothers just sitting around watching random AAA dvds and saying, "Man this fucker is exotic and everything". It's a visual I want to have.

The match itself it really awesome when Taylor doesn't wrestle. Every time he tries to do something like a clubbing forearm it's just as ugly as ugly gets. But his comedy works really well here. Cassandro naturally wants his goods, and Taylor is great trying to avoid a mid-match makeout session. Hiding behind the ref, getting through the ropes, it's all fun but you know that kiss is inevitable. His post-kiss sell is really great, as while Cassandro has him in a leg lock he's alternating selling his leg with trying to wipe another man's saliva off his mouth. He also takes the "run face first into Cassandro's ass" corner spot really great. I praise Fit Finlay for always leaning right into punches, forearms, and kicks, and making them look way better than they should at times......so it seems odd to praise Chuck Taylor for leaning into somebody's ass....but damn if Taylor didn't lean right the hell into Cassandro's ass to completely put over that awesome spot.

Cassandro has some troubles with the ultra loose ropes but totally makes up for it by hitting an absolutely insane somersault tope that crashes right through Taylor (nice catch, doofus) and lands him through about 8 chairs. Totally crazy. So yeah, this match had a lot going for it and was totally fun, more than made up for Taylor's usual lousiness and the weird ending.

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It Reassures Me Just to Know That Cassandro's OK

~Pimpiniela Escarlata/Casanova/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/Zumbido/Antifaz (Arena Coliseo de Monterrey, 1/8/06) - FUN

Cassandro attacks Pimpi to start and it is ON. Pimpi looks insanely awesome here. He looks like the freakiest awkward stage of a 12 yr. old girl's life. He had a bleach blonde bob with a singlet that made him look like a demented aerobics instructor. Cassandro has rad Fabulous Moolah hair here and worked really stiff the entire match. His opening punch to Pimpi looked completely bell-ringing. Once back in the ring he lands a couple of really painful dropkick variations, getting vaulted into the air by his teammates and just nailing dudes in the corner.

Cassandro and Pimpi have been working together for about 16 or 17 years at this point, so it's no real surprise that they know how to run a great sequence together. Nobody's ever surprised when Negro Navarro runs through a decent sequence with Solar, nobody was ever surprised when Gena Rowlands turned in a good performance in a John Cassavetes movie. Some things just go well together and never get old. These two run through different sequences every time I see them work, and they have a hot run here. Cassandro tries to powerbomb Pimpi off a hurraranrana attempt, only to have Pimpi counter with his weight and turn it into a balls-to-the-face seated senton. Cassandro tries his own running flying headscissors and Pimpi just ducks, causing Cassandro to just land hard on his butt, legs out. Then Cassandro charges into the corner and gets tossed head over heels onto the floor. If you haven't noticed, Cassandro can take some massively dangerous bumps to the floor.

Arena Coliseo de Monterrey never has a shortage of juiced up former strippers working as luchadors, and Casanova is exactly that. Cassandro wanted Casanova's business, and did not keep it secret in a hilarious secret. Cassandro kept purposely blowing a "slide through the legs" spot with Casanova, the first time not sliding far enough through and ending up face first in his crotch, the second time trying to slide through Casanova's legs saw his slide come up too short, ending in some rump to groin that Casanova had to pretend he hated. Casanova was torn. The men in the crowd saw his longing, saw the pain through his cut stripper physique. But Casanova is paid because the ladies love him. True love, or your dedicated lady fans? Their love was a lie.

Sangre Chicana can still go, man. He had lost his hair about a week before this, so was just a maniac with a shaved head, just punching and bumping and just generally being a bad ass. Finish comes when poor Pimpi gets punted right in the balls by Zumbido, who just looks like someone who would punt you right in the balls.


~Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/El Ángel/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super AAA (AAA, 10/18/07) - SKIPPABLE

God damn you Night Queens. You always have a few good spots in you, but most of the time your matches are a race to see who can get in the worse position possible for the tecnicos' offense.

The Queens are wearing some garish purple get-ups, with Polvo's torn leotard holding tight his round physique, and Nygma's velveteen flared jumpsuit hugging his body in all sorts of unflattering ways. Their fashion just cannot compete with Cassandro and Pimpi's stereo satin white robes (with Cassandro rocking a kicky white top hat to boot!).

The Night Queens don't blow it until the 2nd Caida, as they had some decent moments during the 1st. Polvo hit a nice pudgy senton and Jesse hit a colossal Alabama (Nuevo Leon?) Jam while Pimpi was draped across somebody's knees. Those were good looking spots right there.

And then the rest of the match happened. Night Queens just try and make every base spot as awkward looking as possible. Angel tries a rana from the apron to the floor, and Nygma starts backpedaling as he catches him then just kind holds his crotch to his face, then finally regains his balance enough to do a really poor somersault out of it. Later on he gets into position for a armdrag a good 15 seconds too early. They stumble through some rote sequences and then Night Queens expertly try and screw up the dive train (which is beginning to seem like their specialty). Pimpi had to stop a dive in mid air (he was doing a somersault tope and never let go of the ropes) due to the Queens not looking in the right direction (you know, towards the ring) in the 12/14/07 match, and here they do the same fucking thing!! Except - AWESOMELY - Pimpi at full speed does NOT put on the brakes and just barrels through them coming out totally sideways like Mike Knox's flying crossbody, just obliterating a Queen. Cassandro is smart and opts to stop his dive, as it would have been sure death to rely on one of these clowns to catch him.

The end is really fun as Cassandro misses a moonsault on Polvo, opts to try it again, and Polvo gets up and just clubs him off the top rope, with Cassandro getting dumped back in the ring right on his head...which AAA's expert camera's naturally miss.

There are still more Night Queens match ups left to go. I am frontloading them. At least the 10/26/07 one was awesome. Naturally that was the one I watched first, and when the outlier happens to be the first match you see...God damn you Night Queens.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Angels Pacing, Gently Placing, Roses 'Round Cassandro's Head

~Cassandro/Billy Boy/Fabi Apache/Mini Abismo Negro vs. Cinthia Moreno/Mascarita Sagrada 2007/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly Lumberjack Match, AAA, 10/7/07) - GREAT

All of the AAA minis act as the lumberjacks here and it is just too much fun. Cassandro controlled the whole match, which I've never seen before. He is usually the guy in the role of stealing a match in AAA, not leading a match. He obviously needs to lead matches more, as he was just incredible here. Also, his outfit was an amazing black glittery Zach Ryder-style one-legged pantsuit with roses on it. So rad.

He really does it all here, playing up a maestro role that I've never seen him do, but still squeezing in great comedy moments. He'd roll through a submission sequence (and I've never seen him do many submissions, but he busts out a cool octopus variation and an awesome indian deathlock pin), but then also steals the show when he would get thrown to the floor and run screaming from all the minis trying to attack him. Just a total tour de force performance.

That is not to say the others weren't impressive here as well, as this is amongst the best Billy Boy performances I've ever seen. He shows a lot of passion and character here, and sometimes he can come off as just soooo bland. He has some real fine moments here, though; my favorite being when Super Fly was going for a pin, Billy Boy casually walks in, stops the ref's arm from counting, then turns around and just kicks Fly right in the stomach. Awesome. Fabi and Moreno are also really good in this. They're just so smooth at working spots in and out of all the craziness, and they match up well with both the male workers, and each other. Great, fun match.

~Cassandro/Intocable/Mascara Divina/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA, 12/14/07) - SKIPPABLE

Wow this was awful. I was looking forward to Cassandro and Pimpi teaming, and those guys were definitely NOT the problem in this match. Spice Boy Intocable is bad, but Mascara Divina is just absolutely awful. Every time he gets the chance to shine he just completely blows it. During the end run dive train he opts for a somersault tope and looks like a total load, holding onto the ropes for too long so instead of landing on anybody he just flips over the ropes, lands on his butt on the apron, not close to anybody, then to cover decides to throw a punch that whiffs by about two feet. It just totally falls apart here. Cassandro tried his damndest to hold the dive train together as while everybody is lying around he's the only one trying to catch most of the time. He catches three of the dives himself while all the other chumps are just lying around. Pimpi bails on his dive half way through as two of the Night Queens are just completely out of position. Just a whole big mess. Cassandro has a fun sequence with Yuriko and I'm consistently amused by Yuriko screaming whenever bailing to the floor. But just too little good to recommend this one.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Then Cassandro Disintegrates Between a Wall of Clouds

Cassandro/Faby Apache/Mini Abismo Negro/Alfa vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Cinthia Moreno/Octagoncito/Oriental AAA 7/15/07 - EPIC

I love these matches. Exotico/Lady/Mini/Dude matches always entertain me to no end. Everybody seems to work up a notch and their is always constant action. There always seems to be a game of one-upsmanship going on and this took place at Triplemania, so they were working in front of a pretty large crowd. Pimpi and Cassandro start and Cassandro has a crazy Justin Beiber haircut. He and Pimpi tie up and do a great hair toss sequence where Cassandro's Beiber 'do just comes right off!! Ah, that's right, he lost his hair the night before in a giant cage match that will never ever see the light of day. So Cassandro is totally buzzed under his Bieber wig. His fury and embarrassment over losing his beautiful locks drives him to completely OWN this match, putting on possibly the greatest performance of his I have ever seen. Every time he's in he just does the most insane things known to man. After his initial exchange with Pimp he takes a monstrous bump over the top to the floor at an incredibly fast speed. Later he charges right at Oriental and takes his trademark insane bump off the ring post to the floor. Throw in an out-of-control Asai moonsault and some great miscommunication spots and he was just on fire here.

Cinthia Morena is always really fun and always matches up with smaller guys impressively, and I always love Faby Apache. Mini Abismo Negro bumps all over the place for everybody and Octagoncito does a crazy hurracanrana to the floor. It's all action all the time and there is not one bland moment here.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly/El Angel vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 10/26/07 - GREAT

Night Queens are wearing their ridiculous apricot-colored jammies and are all about coming up with new ways to smack the tecnicos with trash cans in this one. They start off by pummeling Super Fly and dumping him butt first in a trashcan, then putting the can up on the apron with him in it, then double baseball slide dropkicking it to the floor with him in it, landing him in all sorts of pain. Pimpi is the next to take the pain of the trash can, as he comes jumping off the ropes and gets clonked in the side of his head while his body goes splaying. We get some fun dive sequences, we get Cassandro and Pimpi doing their stereo sassy ropewalking into a hurracanrana and a flippy armdrag (respectively), followed by them doing an awesome hopscoth double-dutch tandem dance-off ending with a butt bump that makes you jealous that you don't have someone in your life to work on dance routines with you! Yuriko screams hilariously when he is about to take any sort of offense, Jesse wears the most garish pants ever made (some sort of apricot Zubaz pants with apricot plaid patches), and Cassandro KILLS himself at the end going for a dive as trashcans come back into play. Cassandro sets up a huge dive and one of the Queens holds up a trash can at the last second and Cassandro dives INTO the trashcan. He didn't get hit with it, he swooshed right into it and then got stomped while in the damn thing. Cold. Polvo kicks Pimp right in the balls to end it and this was all sorts of awesome.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Billy Boy/Mascara Divina vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 1/19/08 - SKIPPABLE

Cassandro and Pimpi are wearing their totally awesome black widow spider outfits and Cassandro has the coolest headdress in the history of humans wearing cool headdresses. The match never really gets going. I don't much care for Divina, especially now that he no longer works his "awesome" Televisa Deportes gimmick (which would be the equivalent of a U.S. worker being named ESPN Sportscenter), and Billy Boy doesn't do too much here. Polvo can be kind of a load at times and while there were fun moments, there was also plenty of patented AAA "Show a shot of people in the crowd while clipping". Still, it does have it's moments, but it is rather short and forgettable.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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