2013 Lucha Roundup

So much Lucha is available on the internet these days, I thought we would try to cover the 2013 highlights here on SC. If I miss something good throw me a message.

Faby Apache/Mary Apache v. Trauma 1/Trauma 2 PDM 1/1

(As always with these BTJr. files, the first fall is public, message him for the final two)

This is always a fun match up, and I am happy they made it Apaches v. Traumas rather then a parajas like they have done in the past. The Apaches have some size to them so this doesn't look like as big a mismatch as some intergender matches do, when Fabi hits a senton it looks like it hurts. Enjoyed the first fall matwork a bunch, this is what the Traumas do at an elite level, and both sisters are well trained too. Second fall had the Traumas really rudoing it up, bullying and stiffing the ladies until a satisfying comeback. Third fall was a bit perfunctory and short which kept this from being a high end match, fine start to the year but nothing which is going to stick by the end

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Angels Pacing, Gently Placing, Roses 'Round Cassandro's Head

~Cassandro/Billy Boy/Fabi Apache/Mini Abismo Negro vs. Cinthia Moreno/Mascarita Sagrada 2007/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly Lumberjack Match, AAA, 10/7/07) - GREAT

All of the AAA minis act as the lumberjacks here and it is just too much fun. Cassandro controlled the whole match, which I've never seen before. He is usually the guy in the role of stealing a match in AAA, not leading a match. He obviously needs to lead matches more, as he was just incredible here. Also, his outfit was an amazing black glittery Zach Ryder-style one-legged pantsuit with roses on it. So rad.

He really does it all here, playing up a maestro role that I've never seen him do, but still squeezing in great comedy moments. He'd roll through a submission sequence (and I've never seen him do many submissions, but he busts out a cool octopus variation and an awesome indian deathlock pin), but then also steals the show when he would get thrown to the floor and run screaming from all the minis trying to attack him. Just a total tour de force performance.

That is not to say the others weren't impressive here as well, as this is amongst the best Billy Boy performances I've ever seen. He shows a lot of passion and character here, and sometimes he can come off as just soooo bland. He has some real fine moments here, though; my favorite being when Super Fly was going for a pin, Billy Boy casually walks in, stops the ref's arm from counting, then turns around and just kicks Fly right in the stomach. Awesome. Fabi and Moreno are also really good in this. They're just so smooth at working spots in and out of all the craziness, and they match up well with both the male workers, and each other. Great, fun match.

~Cassandro/Intocable/Mascara Divina/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA, 12/14/07) - SKIPPABLE

Wow this was awful. I was looking forward to Cassandro and Pimpi teaming, and those guys were definitely NOT the problem in this match. Spice Boy Intocable is bad, but Mascara Divina is just absolutely awful. Every time he gets the chance to shine he just completely blows it. During the end run dive train he opts for a somersault tope and looks like a total load, holding onto the ropes for too long so instead of landing on anybody he just flips over the ropes, lands on his butt on the apron, not close to anybody, then to cover decides to throw a punch that whiffs by about two feet. It just totally falls apart here. Cassandro tried his damndest to hold the dive train together as while everybody is lying around he's the only one trying to catch most of the time. He catches three of the dives himself while all the other chumps are just lying around. Pimpi bails on his dive half way through as two of the Night Queens are just completely out of position. Just a whole big mess. Cassandro has a fun sequence with Yuriko and I'm consistently amused by Yuriko screaming whenever bailing to the floor. But just too little good to recommend this one.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Cassandro Was Always By My Side, and Never Tried to Leave

Gran Apache/May Flowers/Pimpinela Escarlata/Polvo de Estrellas vs. Cassandro/Alan/Billy Boy/Decnnis (AAA, 5/20/06) - FUN

Cassandro is wearing his completely awesome Wonder Woman outfit that I have never seen before. One thing about doing this project is that I can be completely amazed time and time again at the many different outfits of Cassandro. So far I have not seen the same outfit twice.

This match is full of dissension, as the Barrio Boys clearly don't agree with Cassandro's lifestyle choices and do not want to be teaming with him. Think about that: The BARRIO BOYS don't agree with Cassandro's lifestyle choices. So that's just not believable. I'm sure the Barrio Boys have made a boatload of bad life decisions. Gran Apache, on the other hand, has no problems whatsoever teaming with his group of exoticos, and is perfectly content to punch all the Barrio Boys right in the face (which I will never complain about).

This was all sorts of fun, as I always like May Flowers but he doesn't turn up too much anymore. Pimpi had a bunch of great moments including climbing the turnbuckle, back to the ring, and when Billy Boy tries to run in and stop him --> ass to the face, with a wiggle to boot! The Barrio Boys end up finally turning on Cassandro after a couple of miscues (that naturally involved some playful kisses), so then you had ALL the Barrio Boys, and ALL the exoticos ALL beating up poor Cassandro. It's just not fair.


La Fiera/Mocho Cota/Pimpinela Escarlata/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/El Brazo/Espectro Jr./Pirata Morgan (AAA, 6/18/06) - VERY GOOD

This was so awesome. Pimpi and Cassandro were the young bucks in this match, and they were both in their late 30s here. Almost everybody else in this match is in their 50s. But I am in the camp who feels that a lot of luchadors need about 30 years of seasoning before they really come into their own. That seems to be how it's gone the last 3 years, at least.

So seriously, motherfucking Mocho Cota, making tape in the 2000s!!! That just doesn't happen that often. I don't think I've seen any other Cota match from the 2000s. Anybody else have a stash of Cota from this decade that they're hoarding? Because he looked quite awesome here. Threw some fine punches, did an AWESOME shoulderblock sequence with Brazo, bouncing off and staggering around, before manning up and just plowing through Brazo. He threw a nice dropkick and did a great tope during the sprint. He looked the same as he did in '96 CMLL, just slightly looser skin.

Sangre Chicana was also a total boss in this as well, with real nice punches and a great tope. Everybody really gets their chance to shine in this. Espectro Jr. threw some nice punches, Brazo got to do a bunch of fun belly bumps and Sangre/Mocho/Fierra all fell awesomely and hilariously into place for Brazo's big splash. Fierra can still bump shockingly well, and Cassandro and Pimpi are themselves, so you know that rules.

Cassandro had awesome hair and looked like Dustin Hoffman as Dorothy in "Tootsie". I would really like to see a lucha match interpretive adaptation of Tootsie. I think Mano Negra would make a great Dabney Coleman. He has more hair, and no mustache, but he makes the same great bug-eyed Dabney Coleman expressions. Brazo already kinda looks like a tan Charles Durning, and it wouldn't be too hard to find a couple of the blonde lady workers with low self-esteem to portray the Jessica Lange and Terri Garr roles. Make this happen, somebody.

The Night Queens run in at the end and it becomes a giant schmozz, with allegiances breaking down. Sangre Chicana wandering around and just punching Night Queens in the face was amusing. The Queens were also all wearing rainbow sashes, just in case you forgot they were, ya know, Queens. Cassandro gets suplexed into the 2nd row and this was all kinda of great fun.


Oriental/Chikayo Nagashima/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Takashi Sugiura/Fabi Apache/Cassandro (AAA/SEM, 9/3/07) - GREAT

I assumed a lot of the guys would do it up pretty big since they were in Japan and don't tour there too often, and I was correct. This was a real unique mixture of talent in one match, and it worked out to be really awesome.

First off, Pimpi comes out in a full on bridal gown and tosses his bouquet to the crowd. It is amazing. Then Sugiura comes out and Pimpi gets all hot and bothered by his stocky physique and wants a piece of him, which causes Takashi to naturally freak out, lest his lips touch another mans'. I was not sure how Cassandro was going to be able to top it, and his entrance does not....but his amazing glittery Rising Sun singlet COMPLETELY does. This might be my favorite Cassandro singlet.

Fabi and Nagashima match up really nicely, and I haven't regularly watched joshi for most of this decade, but earlier in the decade when I was still checking out joshi with some regularity, she was easily one of my favorites in GAEA. She matched up even better with Cassandro, as they get into a hilarious slap exchange with Cassandro over-emoting to the crowd and the crowd eating it right up. She also takes a nice beating as at one point she's stuck in the corner, and Fabi does a great running kick right to her face, Cassandro does the most painful looking butt bump (aside from maybe Morishima, but Cassandro is literally half his size) right to her head, and Sugiura ends the trifecta with a nasty running elbow.

Cassandro ramps up the crazy for the Japanese crowd, getting an insane amount of distance on his "run full speed towards the corner and wrap myself around the turnbuckle" spot. I see the spot coming every time, but I always enjoy it more and more. So nuts. He also does the absolute fastest deadliest Jerry Estrada bump I've ever seen. Just a full on sprint into a flip right over the ropes. Just sheer madness.

This was like a random NOAH 6 man, and random NOAH 6 mans are one of my favorite style of matches possible. This one just had two really great lady workers and my two favorite exoticos. Well worth going out of your way to see. I wish Cassandro and Pimpi made it to Japan more often.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Then Cassandro Disintegrates Between a Wall of Clouds

Cassandro/Faby Apache/Mini Abismo Negro/Alfa vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Cinthia Moreno/Octagoncito/Oriental AAA 7/15/07 - EPIC

I love these matches. Exotico/Lady/Mini/Dude matches always entertain me to no end. Everybody seems to work up a notch and their is always constant action. There always seems to be a game of one-upsmanship going on and this took place at Triplemania, so they were working in front of a pretty large crowd. Pimpi and Cassandro start and Cassandro has a crazy Justin Beiber haircut. He and Pimpi tie up and do a great hair toss sequence where Cassandro's Beiber 'do just comes right off!! Ah, that's right, he lost his hair the night before in a giant cage match that will never ever see the light of day. So Cassandro is totally buzzed under his Bieber wig. His fury and embarrassment over losing his beautiful locks drives him to completely OWN this match, putting on possibly the greatest performance of his I have ever seen. Every time he's in he just does the most insane things known to man. After his initial exchange with Pimp he takes a monstrous bump over the top to the floor at an incredibly fast speed. Later he charges right at Oriental and takes his trademark insane bump off the ring post to the floor. Throw in an out-of-control Asai moonsault and some great miscommunication spots and he was just on fire here.

Cinthia Morena is always really fun and always matches up with smaller guys impressively, and I always love Faby Apache. Mini Abismo Negro bumps all over the place for everybody and Octagoncito does a crazy hurracanrana to the floor. It's all action all the time and there is not one bland moment here.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly/El Angel vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 10/26/07 - GREAT

Night Queens are wearing their ridiculous apricot-colored jammies and are all about coming up with new ways to smack the tecnicos with trash cans in this one. They start off by pummeling Super Fly and dumping him butt first in a trashcan, then putting the can up on the apron with him in it, then double baseball slide dropkicking it to the floor with him in it, landing him in all sorts of pain. Pimpi is the next to take the pain of the trash can, as he comes jumping off the ropes and gets clonked in the side of his head while his body goes splaying. We get some fun dive sequences, we get Cassandro and Pimpi doing their stereo sassy ropewalking into a hurracanrana and a flippy armdrag (respectively), followed by them doing an awesome hopscoth double-dutch tandem dance-off ending with a butt bump that makes you jealous that you don't have someone in your life to work on dance routines with you! Yuriko screams hilariously when he is about to take any sort of offense, Jesse wears the most garish pants ever made (some sort of apricot Zubaz pants with apricot plaid patches), and Cassandro KILLS himself at the end going for a dive as trashcans come back into play. Cassandro sets up a huge dive and one of the Queens holds up a trash can at the last second and Cassandro dives INTO the trashcan. He didn't get hit with it, he swooshed right into it and then got stomped while in the damn thing. Cold. Polvo kicks Pimp right in the balls to end it and this was all sorts of awesome.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Billy Boy/Mascara Divina vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 1/19/08 - SKIPPABLE

Cassandro and Pimpi are wearing their totally awesome black widow spider outfits and Cassandro has the coolest headdress in the history of humans wearing cool headdresses. The match never really gets going. I don't much care for Divina, especially now that he no longer works his "awesome" Televisa Deportes gimmick (which would be the equivalent of a U.S. worker being named ESPN Sportscenter), and Billy Boy doesn't do too much here. Polvo can be kind of a load at times and while there were fun moments, there was also plenty of patented AAA "Show a shot of people in the crowd while clipping". Still, it does have it's moments, but it is rather short and forgettable.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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