An Exhaustingly Exhaustive Review of WWF Royal Rumble 1/24/93, Pt. 1

I started reviewing Royal Rumble 1993 and thought it would be a quick little thing, but sometimes projects spiral and the words flow more than they should, and I was left with a behemoth of a show review. Part 1 comes today, Part 2 comes tomorrow: 

Beverly Brothers vs. The Steiner Brothers

When you see a Steiners/Beverlys match on paper, this is the match you hope it's going to be. It's 10 minutes and an excellent Beverlys performance. These guys all work snug, we get a great stretch of the Beverlys isolating Scott, and we build to Enos and Bloom betting annihilated on a Rick hot tag. Bloom and Enos are pure wrestling joy, mixing a cheapshit house style with the insane bumps and highspots of a big PPV tag. Bloom complains about hair and tight pulls after every huge biel and takedown he takes from Scott, but has no problem turning on a dime to whip Scott to the mat and then rock him with a gorgeous long uppercut when he gets to his feet. But Enos is so good on the apron while Bloom is doing his thing, and the match really gives us a look at how complementary they were as a team, not just their in-ring style but their personalities. Bloom was like the prep school shit with rich parents and no consequences, and Enos is his slightly less rich dumb jock friend. It's a great energy. 

When Enos tags in he does some incredible dumb jock stuff, shoving Rick on the apron one hand to the chest like a real idiot, and then running away! In a great moment that would get a huge reaction on any show, Rick tags in and immediately knocks Bloom off the apron as he jogs by. But just like Bloom, even as Enos is getting punked by Rick, he also gives it back big. Enos and Rick have some great stuff together, great timing. They really nail this one stretch where Enos hits this great high rotation powerslam, cuts low on a clothesline and really tries to take Rick's legs out with a dropdown, does a great leapfrog...but of course gets caught mid-air by Rick and dumped. Enos was something else in this one. He took some of the most dangerous bumps in WWF PPV history, just a crazy willingness to lean all the way into STEINER BROTHERS OFFENSE. He gets thrown by Scott with an overhead belly to belly that almost plants him squarely on the top of his head (and close enough that Gorilla and Heenan go momentarily silent), but this match is so good because Bloom runs right in and just WASTES Scott with a lariat. These teams are laying in and this match should really be talked about as one of the upper tier WWF tags of the decade. 

The Beverlys are really good at cutting Scott off from Rick, dropping backbreakers and ax handles and Bloom elbowdrops, quick tags, hard elbows, Enos choking Scott with the tag rope, all of it the kind of shit you want to see them doing to Scott Steiner. The crowd noise builds perfectly through all of it because these Sacramento fans know that Rick is going to blow this ring up, and there is a fantastic late cut off of a Scott tag attempt that quiets the crowd down so damn quick, just perfectly timed by Bloom. After the hot tag was denied, Heenan has a hilarious bit about how Rick didn't actually want the tag because he's "a known coward". Heenan had this great ongoing thing where he would matter of factly call someone a coward as if it's a thing everyone knows, and Gorilla reacts to it every single time, and I laugh my ass off every single time. 

The Rick hot tag is as good as expected, and Mike Enos really went through one of the most insane wrestling minutes I've seen. Enos takes a backdrop bump as high as any Rick Rude backdrop, then takes arguably the most disgusting German suplex in WWF history. The match's one flaw just might be that Enos is picked up for the next spot almost immediately by Rick, not giving *that* German suplex any time to settle in. If I saw a man the size of Enos take that suplex bump live, a match stoppage would have seemed appropriate. It's a crazy spot that - once they saw Enos was moving of his own accord - they should have shown a dozen times from every angle. The finish stretch is crazy, with Bloom wiping out on an awesome missed top rope clothesline and a great Scott victory roll for a near win. But Enos takes his legendary performance somehow one step further, and takes the match finishing Frankensteiner better than any man has ever taken the Frankensteiner. Enos goes vertical on it, sticking the landing in a way that made people immediately leap up, as if he hadn't just been thrown for the most disgusting suplex a minute earlier. Mike Enos is a goddamn lunatic and I genuinely don't know what 90s WWF tag matches you can genuinely put over this one. Total classic. 

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

ER: It's unfortunate, but Marty Jannetty's ring gear has to be the worst ring gear in my time as a wrestling fan. Right? I don't know. There are other, good contenders. Maybe it isn't actually the worst. But, if not the worst, then at minimum I can say that there has never been any other wrestling gear that makes me feel the vicarious embarrassment that Marty Jannetty's 1993 Royal Rumble gear makes me feel. Sure, maybe that's hypocritical of me, seeing as how I lose my mind any time a wrestler shows up covered in tassels. When Jerry Estrada takes that bump over the top and his ocean waves of tassel crash into the shore as his body crashes into the concrete, I'm in wrestling heaven. Marty Jannetty just takes it too far. Maybe that's a good thing. Marty Jannetty may have established a Tassel Barrier in this match, and that's an important thing. It's good to know how far we as humans can, or should, go. And Marty established that we should not go here. 

Marty's gear looks like a child tried to make their own Tron suit out of torn toilet paper. If you pause the screen at the right moments, his ring entrance looks like Max Moon being drawn into A-Ha's "Take On Me" video. It is a hideous ensemble, and I thought it was hideous before I realized it's a two piece. Who crafted this entrance-attire-only blouse? Who crafted this blouse that looks like the most toilet-papered tree on Halloween? Can you imagine Marty Jannetty trying on his new gear in a small tailor's shop, analyzing all the angles in a full frame trifold vanity mirror, while a slender hunched old Italian man marks his hems with chalk? Well, turns that trifold mirror was cursed, and that mirror cursed Jannetty for the rest of his career. If you ever wondered why Marty Jannetty shows up in 1998 WCW looking like Enuff Z'Nuff's rhythm guitarist, lost and scared in a strange new grunge world, that's why. That mirror is why.

The match itself is weird. It has an excellent layout which gets the crowd downright rabid for the finishing stretch, but it's also filled with weak offense and stunt bumping that doesn't correlate to that weak offense. Michaels pinballs for every single punch Jannetty throws, and they are ridiculous bumps for what Jannetty is putting out there. Michaels gets bumped to the floor off a kneelift and Jannetty hits a tope that winds up looking like a couple trying to hold each other up at the skating rink before both slip and fall. But things get downright silly when Jannetty hits a flying punch off the top to the floor, and Michaels does a triple salchow to sell it. Now, I love a good flying fist or an absurd fistdrop, but there comes a tipping point where it probably makes a lot more sense to use your body to attack an opponent than just your fist. Marty's entire body crashes and burns off to the side while his fist grazes past Michaels' hair, and Michaels spins to the mat like Bear Hugger. A crossbody block would have lead to a safer bump for both AND would have read much better to the crowd, but wrestler offense is a funny thing. This is not as bad as that piece of Marufuji offense where he would tap his opponents' head into the top turnbuckle while hurling his own body out over the ringpost to the floor - as if Mitch Williams had not just fallen off the mound after a delivery but also continued rolling and tumbling all the way to the dugout - but it was incredibly stupid. So of course Marty does it again and Michaels punches him out of the air. Now, don't get me wrong, if some lunatic did a fistdrop off the top rope to the floor I would praise them as a wrestling offense god, in the same way I will always flip out seeing El Samurai or Makoto Hashi doing diving headbutts off the top to the floor. So now, not only are my takes on tassels hypocritical, I am also a hypocrite about what offense I enjoy and what level of stupidity I expect and demand out of it. Perhaps there's a boomerang effect where a fistdrop can keep getting more and more complicated until it gets very stupid, before becoming incredible again: 

1. Any kind of fistdrop from a standing position falling onto your opponent = Great

2. Fistdrop leaping off the middle turnbuckle = Outstanding

3. Fistdrop leaping off the top rope into the ring = Seems unnecessarily risky to your knees but fuck yeah

4. Fistdrop off the top rope to a standing opponent on the floor = You fucking idiot

5. Fistdrop off the top rope to the floor while opponent is on his back = You goddamn genius

The stretch of Michaels working over Marty's arm is satisfying (including a rough posting), but even all of that just builds to another stupid spot, which is Michaels coming off the middle rope and landing, standing, face first into Jannetty's boot, with no indication of what kind of move he would have hit had Marty not gotten that boot up. See, the twists and turns and momentum shifts all happen at the exact right place, except half (or more?) of the offense looks like incomprehensible bullshit. It's a cool exercise in seeing how fired up a crowd can get when you're hitting all of the turns of a match this well, that you can really give them any slop offense and - as long as you're shifting momentum at the right time - they will be right there screaming. 

When people remember this as a great match (Meltzer gave it 4 stars, and if Jungle Boy and Rocky Romero worked this note for note exact same match with dog ball's worse offense, it's impossible to see him going less than 4 stars on it), they remember it from the moment Sherri slaps Shawn thru the series of close pinfalls. When Sherri slaps Shawn the ARCO Arena explodes, and Shawn does his best selling of the match. When Marty drags him back in Michaels immediately takes his craziest/best bump of the match, taking the HHH backwards corner bump faster than anyone should ever take that bump, and Marty drags him back in again. The crowd really thought they were seeing a title change, so every single nearfall plays huge, deservedly so. Shawn missing a superkick only to get put down hard by a Marty superkick really did feel like the finish, possibly because it was the only bump Michaels took that wasn't in three parts, just put him down on the mat. The shenanigans at the finish play out too quickly and a bit too ham-fisted, with Shawn throwing a wide elbow on a punch to take out the ref, and Sherri accidentally hitting Marty with her heel. Shawn hits a superkick, Marty takes a ridiculous flip bump that felt mostly disconnected from the kick, and that's it. It's a great match with an incredible amount of flaws: some of the most detached bumps and goofball offense choices, and yet a match that earned the big crowd reactions. 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Big Boss Man

ER: This is a great three match series to start a PPV with, a great hour of pro wrestling, with three very different matches. The is a match that of course I was excited for, two of the biggest coolest shaped guys at some real in-ring peaks. 1993 was a great in-ring year for both of these guys, Bigelow an adventurous big man with a big gas tank, and Boss Man hitting a legendary peak with his post-WWF All Japan tours. 1993 Boss Man was the best combination of size and speed, slimmed way down from his 1989 biggest, but much bigger than his 1998 WWF return. 1993 was when Boss Man was shaped exactly like his Hasbro figure. Bam Bam Bigelow has the best shape in wrestling and Boss Man has night stick work that makes him look like a cool gigantic American King of Fighters character. They move fast and they hit hard, basking in the salad days of big fat men. 

There's a ton of movement and it always leads to a big crash, and a lot of this is worked at a super crazy pace for two guys this size to keep. There's fast rope running and fast spots, like Bigelow lifting Boss Man up for a huge back suplex, but then faceplanting hard on a missed falling headbutt when Boss Man sits up right after. Bam Bam has really high impact avalanches and starts the match story early when he starts throwing shots at Boss Man's back, with a fist to the back knocking Boss Man forward through the ropes. Right before them, Jannetty and Michaels thought of the bump they were going to do and then kept doing it regardless of the offense, but Bigelow and Boss Man really knock each other down and fall in some big ways. Bigelow drops Boss Man with a huge hot shot that looks like Boss Man is going to go crashing right into the camera; Boss Man has this great high speed clotheslines to knockdown Bigelow, and then at least 25 different punches to knock him around to different parts of the ring. Boss Man was a great puncher who isn't talked about enough as a great puncher. He has great uppercuts, great aim (he can pick a target on the chin and not show light), and can throw them close or long range. He slides to the floor for a big right hand, gives the fans a corner 10 count, throws hard mounted punches, all great. 

But it's not enough to work great through the fast paced sections, you also have to time out the cool down sections so the fast sections peak, and they do that really well. It's a great transition because it happens with a spectacular spot: Boss Man missing a charge and taking a fast, impressive bump to the floor, appearing to smash his back on the edge of the ring apron on the way down. Commentary picks up on it the second it happens and Bigelow immediately moves to focus entirely on Boss Man's back, as if everyone knew Boss Man was going to take a sick bump back first off the apron. Bigelow works the back with some real effective stuff, grabbing an awesome reverse waistlock bearhug and throwing headbutts to grind Boss Man down. Boss Man's comeback has some nice detail work, with a great spot where he is able to pull off a vertical suplex, but it's a messier suplex that wasn't as effective due to his back being weakened, so Bigelow beats him to his feet. It's such a great thread to put into a match: working a Too Convincing back injury on a suitably dangerous looking spot, like Chris Hamrick setting up knee work by violently tangling his knee in the ropes. The only weak point of the match is that it wraps up a little too easily and suddenly, the match almost disappointing by coming to its logical conclusion: Bigelow weakening Boss Man enough to slam him and hit the diving headbutt. It's where everything was heading, Boss Man was getting weaker, and then Bigelow put him down. I think one more Boss Man nearfall hope spot could have put this on a much higher level, but this was a great 10 minutes.  

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WWF Handheld Reno, NV 1/23/93

Running a 2,000 attendance house in a 12,000 capacity arena just a day before the Royal Rumble, this show had a couple unique matches I wanted to see and a nice snowy winter season happening outside. 

1/23/93 Full Show

The Predator vs. Jim Powers

ER: God bless early 90s camcorder dads who knew how short the battery life on their camcorders were, yet always overextended themselves thinking they could afford to record Jim Powers working Tony Garea tribute matches and still have enough battery for the main event. Memories of every plug of the school gymnasium being hogged by dad's charging their extra batteries. Predator is Horace Boulder under a mask, and it's really funny to me to have a guy named PREDATOR but have him working a lot of pointing at his head after dodged charges or complaining about Powers pulling the tights. Predator seems like a risky gimmick to assign someone in wrestling, but it also makes me laugh thinking about the Predator pointing at his head in the jungle right before Arnold sneaks up behind him with a schoolboy. Predator was the only one keeping this match interesting as Powers is all bad punches and arm wringers. There was a nice spot where Predator blocked a sunset flip and then punched the mat going after Powers, and I like  a guy who pulls his opponent face first into the turnbuckles by grabbing the waistband of his trunks. Predator does an admirable job selling Powers' punch and kneelift to set up his match finishing powerslam, and we collectively thank this camcorder dad for editing out a long Predator chinlock where Powers' abdomen was desperately heaving. 

Samu vs. Owen Hart

ER: This was a better version of the Powers/Predator match in half the time, with our undaunted director also opting to trim out Samu's chinlock. WWF loves having a babyface make their comeback after being held in a chinlock, and this man recognized what he should and shouldn't be filming. Here Owen gets that sunset flip that Jim Powers couldn't turn, but it only gets a one count and Samu hits him with a thrust kick after. There's a fun stretch where it felt like Owen could pull it off, after hitting a nice spinning heel kick and then knocking Fatu off the apron. I thought he was going to put Samu away with a missile dropkick, but Fatu snuck up and knocked Owen balls first into the top turnbuckle, Samu putting him away with a follow-up superplex. After the match, Owen continues selling his balls in the ring long after the Headshrinkers have left, even explaining to the ref what happened from his back. Owen makes the Vader V with his right hand and then uses the edge of his left hand to chop at that V, explaining what the top turnbuckle did to his balls. The ref nods understandingly before exiting the ring. 

Yokozuna vs. Earthquake

ER: This showdown would have looked insane to my 12 year old eyes, a clash of the two (probably) largest men I had ever seen. Little could anyone in attendance have known how rare this match was going to be. Their sumo match on Raw over a year later was their only televised match, and other than that they had only a few scattered house show matches, many of them in California. Seems cruel to present an Earthquake as a babyface in California but that's what they do. This was great in its too brief existence. We get some good shoving to start, Earthquake showing off his footwork to dodge Yokozuna's shoves, running into Yokozuna with shoulderblocks that make both take a step back. Yokozuna takes over with a back elbow to counter an Earthquake avalanche, and runs over Earthquake like it's nothing. Maybe I just get dewy-eyed and sappy during a wrestling match between two gigantic fat guys, but I tell you the air went out of the crowd when Earthquake took that back bump. Yokozuna dropped a gorgeous legdrop and Earthquake did a full body spasm like he had just been decapitated, and I was shocked at how quickly and easily Yokozuna put things away with the banzai splash. This match felt big enough to be a PPV attraction and get 12 minutes. But some things can only be contained in short starbursts. This was only their second match, and all 3 of these minutes were great. But it's a shame that we never got to see them have an actual war of the colossus.

The Beverly Brothers vs. The Undertaker

ER: This was advertised on the arena sign as Undertaker vs. Papa Shango, so I guess they felt like since they blatantly false advertised one of the two matches they announced for this show, the best way to pay that back was by just having three minutes of Undertaker laying waste. The great twist, is that I think this 3 minute sprint is more entertaining than any Undertaker/Soul Taker match I can remember. Undertaker vs. Papa Shango doesn't play as big as it should, but this handicap match was like a T-Rex vs. two velociraptors. But, well, two dumb jock velociraptors. This looked like it was going to be a one-sided mauling, both Beverlys getting run over by Undertaker for a minute straight after cheapshotting him before the bell. Bloom and Enos are both great bumpers, and they play this match like they were Kaientai, and it was the best. They get some brief control, when Bloom hits Taker with a chair and Enos snaps his neck over the top rope. The crowd reactions for Taker's deadman sit-ups keep getting louder, and the Beverlys act more and more annoying the longer they're in control. Undertaker has a fun time with the whole thing, and it looked like he was doing his own separate bit at ringside as he kept stumbling and falling into Mike McGuirk. Beverlys hit a bunch of elbowdrops after hitting a tandem vertical suplex, but leave their backs turned for far too long around a man known for rising from the dead, and the Reno kids lost it when he sat up again and ran wild. Enos takes a huge cartwheeling bump over the top to the floor to sell an uppercut, Bloom gets finished in ring by the Tombstone.

Berzerker vs. Bob Backlund

ER: Berzerker is a great house show act, as he works with the crowd and does unique bits more than any other wrestler from this era, even more than Flair. Here he barks ar Backlund and starts whipping at him with the belt from his tunic while Backlund is folding his ring jacket, that belt coming closer and closer with each whip. The crowd reacts with some real hostility to this one, the Reno crowd booing Backlund's dorkiness at the bell and only mildly getting behind him when he swept Berzerker's leg into Berzerker doing the splits. Berzerker getting his leg swept or kicked into doing the splits is the kind of spot that should get a big reaction every time, but this is a weird pairing and the crowd didn't seem to like it. It's funny when Berzerker rolls out of the ring and is out of camera sight, but you can hear him Hussing around ringside at people. They take a long time to lock up, with Berzerker repeatedly challenging Backlund to reach up and grab his right hand way up in the air, and Backlund responding with trepidation. 

The crowd seems annoyed that the match isn't starting at first, and then Berzerker keeps milking the annoyed reaction to build more and more heat, until the crowd is loudly mocking Berzerker with Huss chants and he is doing back bumps out of frustration. Berzerker finally does get that knucklelock and forces Backlund to his knees, and Backlund valiantly fights to his feet before rolling through to his own top wristlock, which Berzerker breaks with his fist. It's like they're working a Jack Brisco/Killer Khan match straight out of 1979, and that, while simple at times, mostly works. Berzerker eventually takes one of his big backwards bumps to the floor and then marches angrily down the aisle, drawing heat the whole way. In ring he hits a couple of bodyslams and jaws at fans, and works a long (probably too long) bearhug which eventually ends with Backlund somewhat lamely just falling on Berzerker for the pin. A fan either near the camera or holding the camera thinks aloud that this was one of the worst matches he has ever seen. This was not a classic, and was somehow the second longest match on the show, but it did have its rewards.  

Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect

ER: This was a real crowd pleaser, the kind of strong 15 minute match that you'd want to see if you were excited to see either of these two, checking off all the greatest hit Flair boxes without ever feeling like it was coasting. Flair is a guy who can play the greatest hits and not feel like he's bored with them and can still throw in a couple surprises with a smile. It's cool seeing how big he can work a house show match, taking some painful high bumps (on a hard ring) while working toward specific sides of the crowd. He's a guy who is excellent at causing a stir in a specific section of the building, knows how to pick fights with people from the ring, and knows how to get great heat for 15 minutes. He does all his shtick and does it get: He shoves Perfect a couple times and gets slapped each time, he takes a long walk down the aisle after eating a shoulderblock, he gets caught going up top and takes a hard bump getting press slammed down, obviously he's going to take a high backdrop. 

When he's on offense he's cheating, and it gets a rise the entire time. I'm gonna give the cameraman credit for partially obscuring the lens when Flair threw a low kick and eye poke, as if he was helping Flair cheat to transition. Flair worked over Perfect's arm and held a grounded headlock while planking his legs on the middle rope. He does the full routine on two sides of the ring, and the spot our cameraman picked couldn't have framed it any better. Flair was practically working this entire routine for this guy. Flair really rubs his cheating in to our side of the ring, at one point holding just one straightened leg on the ropes while bicycling his free leg. We also get a perfectly framed shot of Flair holding his calf over Perfect's throat, like Flair was putting on a show especially for us. The finish stretch is great, with stiff chops from both, Flair getting his trunks yanked down for a good sunset flip nearfall, and then keeping them down to the glee of the crowd when he ducks his way right into a Perfect Plex. Classic house show stuff, 100% success rate. 

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

ER: Shawn gets announced first and does a great job getting heat just by taking off his chaps. He also tries to grab Mike McGuirk a couple times and it gets people upset because he looks like a guy who would definitely try to grab a woman. Marty is wearing fantastic turquoise and zebra tights with perfect tassels, honestly some of his best gear. A stark, damning contrast to the atrocities he would would inflict upon the Royal Rumble crowd the next night. This match had the finish stretch of that next night's match but was pretty different overall, and probably even better. There's a long Michaels abdominal stretch spot that has an excellent first act but then probably carries on a bit too long in the second act before rushing through the third. You can usually wrap up your abdominal stretch spot in one act, but it was still a great hammy Michaels performance. The best kind of hammy Michaels is house show shithead Michaels, where he's shaking his ass at the crowd and giving people in the front row cocky asshole smirks, and those abdominal stretches give him plenty of time to rub some specific fans' noses in it. Michaels goes into control really quick in this match (he skipped and floundered around the ring for a lot of okay Marty offense the next night), sending Jannetty frisbeeing into the ringpost. 

He works over Marty's arm with hammerlocks and strikes, and once he's worked over the arm enough he starts working over Marty's midsection. I love when a heel switches targets after suitably damaging one area. There's a great spot where he drops Jannetty stomach first over a chair on the outside, which at least gives us good reason to work that abdominal stretch for so long. The great first act on that stretch that I mentioned earlier, is Michaels locking it in near the ropes (for cheating purposes) and a nice build to Marty hip tossing his way out of it. But right as Marty gets there, Shawn holds onto the tope rope to block, and the blocked toss re-injures Marty's arm. GREAT spot. The finish stretch has a lot of similarities to the PPV match the next night, working out the timing for a couple of spots: Jannetty catching Michaels with a DDT after Michaels thought he got out of the way of a fistdrop, and Michaels missing a superkick only to be nailed with one for a close 2. If anything, Earl Hebner was really rushing counts, which didn't give a lot of time for the nearfalls to settle in, but added a manic feel that the crowd did respond to. Since Sherri wasn't here, the finish was different, simple, and well done. Michaels gets thrown into the buckles and slumps into them, but ducks out of the way of a great Jannetty missed avalanche and then scrambles onto him for a quick pin. He shoots a quick Fuck Yeah glance at a person at ringside he'd been taunting the whole match, and BAM, Shawn Michaels has left the building. 

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New Footage Friday: AWA SuperClash IV

ER: Before our first match we find out that Junkyard Dog injured his knee the night before and was being replaced by Baron von Raschke as Col. DeBeers's opponent. I think I would have quite liked even 1990 JYD vs. DeBeers, as DeBeers is a good big bumping match for that era JYD. But there are also no records that JYD fought anywhere nearby the night before this show, or even the prior month, so I assume this was some false advertising leading up to the day of the show. Also, this being a Sunday afternoon in Minnesota, most of the crowd looks like a bunch of guys meeting up at a bar for their local Teamsters meeting. The crowd is Teamsters and 10 year olds, and that's a GREAT wrestling crowd.

Jake Milliman vs. Todd Becker

ER: An opening match that felt like an opening match. I have a soft spot for Milliman and he's a fun area favorite, a barrel bodied man billed suspiciously at 5'6". I know wrestlers exaggerate but that seems beyond the pale. This is 5 minutes and feels like a people getting in their seats match, Becker drops some decent elbows and tries to ground Milliman, Jake throws his weird arms close to body armdrags and a nice monkey flip that gets a good reaction. He also has a nice Super Porkyesque sunset flip where his large solid and compact body stays close to his opponent all the way over. There was a weird missed spot where Milliman hits a low shoulderblock right to Becker's stomach and Becker just stands there, so Jake bumps. Jake should have had way more torpedo body block moves, the guy was a toy tank. This was simple, easy, did what it needed to.

Texas Hangmen vs. Brad Rheingans/DJ Peterson

ER: Solid house show tag, always going to be excited about the Network putting up new Bull Pain and one of Mean Mike/Tough Tom footage. Bull Pain works a lot of this, building spots by complaining of hair/mask pulls early, all to just eventually land one great cheap shot punch. Face team was hiptosses and armdrags and dropkicks through much of this, while Hangmen played big bullies. I dug the Hangmen cheating and liked how Rheingans played Morton, it's cool when the more powerful guy on a team is the Morton, switches up the dynamic. DJ Peterson is kind of boring Mark Starr on hot tag, so it's more interesting to have Rheingans build to a big Saito suplex and German suplex, and I like Hangmen's accidental middle rope clothesline miscommunication to set up the hot tag. I wasn't expecting the Hangmen to get the win here so that was a fun surprise. Also, I am loving how we get no commentary, and instead get audio of a couple kids getting picked up by the camera mics, yelling at wrestlers (they must be sitting in an area where guys are walking in and out backstage). It's fun hearing them tell DeBeers that he sucks, or flip out trying to get Tully Blanchard or Greg Gagne's autograph.

MD: This was a pretty enjoyable house show feeling tag match (Hey, I just looked at what Eric wrote and he went the exact same way with it. Good for us) with the crowd playing along. Rheingans, edging towards 40, was the world's least explosive Kurt Angle, able to hit suplexes with a little effort and manage at least one cool roll up at 75% speed. The Hangmen were underrated and fed well, sold properly, and kept things interesting enough while on top. Some weird timing things throughout, like the long, droning, extended announcement (Gagne daughter maybe?) of the 10 minute mark happening right during the hot tag build up, or Brad getting in the way on the apron during the double-clothesline set up. The Hangmen should have gotten a better run somewhere.

Col. DeBeers vs. Baron von Raschke

MD: This was originally supposed to be JYD vs DeBeers which is a kind of fascinating thought but would have been much more so in 1982. I think the crowd was actually happier with the Baron in there, which is MN for you (not that 90 JYD was any great shakes but you get the idea). DeBeers had lots of heat throughout the night, even when it wasn't his match. This was by the numbers with Baron's stuff (even his knee lift which he used twice to set up the Claw tease) pretty rough. I did like the briefcase block of the claw late in the match. Since it was a replacement, the babyface went over but they immediately beat him down to cover for it.

ER: I liked the sound of this on paper, just because DeBeers is a big guy who bumps big - and bumps plausibly - for old or otherwise immobile guys. DeBeers is big enough that he can easily control and bully, and he's someone who works in his stooging well. And it turns out I like the match even more in execution than I did on paper! They kept it short (around 6 minutes) and Baron (who is just about 50 here) doesn't have any time to get in trouble, so what we do get is DeBeers bumping big for kneelifts that don't quite lift, and working a few really fun sequences around a limited opponent. DeBeers has a great bump through the ropes to the floor, which leads to him slam dunking Baron's neck right over the top rope in an awesome visual. DeBeers controls with nice punches, backing Baron into the corner and throwing uppercuts, short shots to the face, and nice headlock punches, Baron throws some nice comeback punches, and the finish had two VERY great pieces, two things that I absolutely loved: DeBeers gets tied up in the ropes Andre style, Baron calls for the claw, gets people all exciting with some babyface goose stepping, comes in for the claw...and Sheik Adnan blocks the claw with his briefcase!! Honestly, I was way into the rest of this match already, but if the rest of this match had been a 5 minute chinlock leading to that spot, I'd be writing just as favorably about this match. The fact that they roll to the floor and set up a spot where DeBeers accidentally lobs a straight right hand into the ringpost was the tastiest icing. This ruled.

Tully Blanchard vs. Tommy Jammer

MD: This was a Tully performance that would have worked at almost any time, in almost any place, except in front of this crowd and against this opponent. They had been running with Jammer a bit. He was undefeated. There just wasn't anything there. Tully had Christopher Love with him and the subtitles on the network (since I couldn't make it out at first) said that he had the Perfect Ten Baby Doll with him, which merged together, was kind of a horrifying thought. They went fifteen minutes with Tully sneaking a win at the end due to a foot grab from the outside by Love. This was obviously an attempt for Tully to help make Jammer by giving him the near-entirety of a long-ish match, but the fans wanted nothing to do with it. To Tully's credit, when he realized how little they were engaged, he worked even harder from underneath and tried engaging them more, but it was blood from the stone here. Part of it was them not caring about Jammer and part was the fact that Tully wasn't a regular in the area. I honestly don't know what more he could have done here.

ER: 90s Tully feels like one of the bigger things that we wrestling fans missed out on. He was still in his mid 30s here, and his Muga match 5 years later showed he was still a clear top in-ring guy. It sucks to think of how many fun Tully matches could have happened during those 5 years if things had gone differently. And a match like this really showcased the kind of match Tully could craft without...well without much of anything. Tommy Jammer was basically a Tony Garea style good looking babyface with one hold, and not much else. And I thought it was great. It was a cool glimpse at what Tully could do with just about...well, just about literally anybody. This is a 15 minute match and the first 9-10 minutes is Jammer holding Tully's arm behind his back and Tully actually making that interesting. There are a couple times Jammer loses his grip and Tully holds the whole thing together, and I was completely engaged the whole time by just how engaging Tully was while wrestling a match on his back with one arm. 

I thought Tully made the pinfall attempts way more interesting than they should have been, thought he feebly fought back well and made it seem like Jammer was actually bossing him through things, and loved the moments like his little panicked expression when Jammer was dragging him back to the center by his arm, and Bert Prentice yanking his leg from the floor, just Tully panicking hilariously at his potential quartering. Tully took 15 minutes of minimalist wrestling and made me interested at any turn. He hardly used any offense, with his biggest spots being the two times he grabbed Jammer by the front of the trunks and flung him to the floor (for his part, Jammer falls nice and recklessly to the floor). Tully works some interesting stuff with an incomplete Sharpshooter, holding Jammer up vertically and trying to leverage a pinfall out of it, and I loved it all. I was kind of transfixed by Tully the whole match, really begging off and making Jammer look like someone he was actually threatened by. The fans don't seem to care one lick about Jammer, but there is no way in hell that was Tully's fault. There are so many other wrestlers throughout history who would have benefitted from a legend like Tully crafting a match like this around them. I loved it.

Yukon John Nord vs. Kokina Maximus

PAS: This was a little disappointing, both these guys are such huge bump freaks, you would hope this match would have some big bumps, instead we got a lot of Kokina nerve holds. There are some fun clubbering exchanges, and Sheik Adnan getting his comeuppance, and Nord has an all time great big boot, I just wanted more.

MD: This was lead-babyface Nord, and by damn, I think that it could have worked on a bigger stage. Maybe not with the Lumberjack gimmick, but you almost didn't need a gimmick. He was a big crazy guy who could kick people in the face. Kokina here makes me think we were robbed with the scowling sumo gimmick. He had so much swagger and cockiness, like a proto-heel Uso. He could move a hundred and fifty pounds heavier but he could really move here. The match itself was a little too nervelock heavy but Nord really worked it well from underneath. The gimmick was that Al-Kaissie had a 50K bounty on Nord but that the briefcase was actually just full of paper, so after 1.) the colossally big boot (as in the biggest boot ever, as in if they were going to keep doing TV, it should have been the very last thing in the opening montage) 2.) Kokina accidentally squashing Kaissie, and 3.) Nord flattened him with it for the pin, causing it to fly open, Kokina had a babyface turn which the crowd was mostly into. Twin Wars had Nord and Norton face the Hangmen and how great would the team of Nord and Kokina have been instead?

ER: How did it take so long for us all, collectively, as a fully undivided group, to realize how incredible John Nord was. Even just his pre-match routine of putting his giant fur trapper hat on the ref while taking his rapid fire back bump, that stuff just cracks me up every time. I love this guy. This is also a look at super skinny (on his scale, and by that I mean when his weight would have still shown up on a normal human scale) Kokina, and I had a blast with this. Nord is such a gigantic guy, with a big goofy personality and tons of skill, and he really makes this whole thing work. It's a lumberjack stip, even though it really only comes into play when Adnan is thrown back in after the match, but he's the one actually engaging the lumberjacks and putting on a spectacle for fans in the back. We get fun early moments of shrugged off shoulderblocks, and Nord is someone who will run as hard as possible into a shoulderblock, and I loved all the ways Nord made a nerve hold interesting (my favorite was him grabbing at Kokina's hair, leading to a dramatic hair whip from Kokina as he sank the hold back in). 

Things get really good as Nord is left staggered by a thrust kick, so Kokina clotheslines him over the top to the floor. You knew Nord was going to take SOME bump to the floor, and here's where he plays it to the back. Once on the floor, being larger than any of the lumberjacks containing him, he starts stumbling his way through all of them, a man lost in a mosh pit. Nobody is hitting him, he's just making his own action, falling into chairs and then getting tangled in a chair, throwing that chair into the air, and then pie facing Jake Milliman; honestly it felt like he was channeling Terry Funk, and a gigantic Terry Funk is too much fun to even consider. Back in the ring we build to Nord hitting a tremendous big boot, just an all time highlight reel big boot, with him practically doing a mid air splits as his right leg is fully extended and kicking right through Kokina. Now you're talking about boots, kid. These two, both heels by then, obviously never crossed paths in WWF, so this was a dream match for me. It didn't live up to my internal expectations, but I knew those were too high to live up to. It certainly left me smiling and satisfied, and still perplexed wondering how Nord wasn't an absolute megastar.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Masa Saito

MD: Not a ton here. They worked it a little bit like Larry was the vulnerable challenger (likely because he was going over) including a long sleeper. There were flashes of great matwork at the beginning, counter-heavy instead of moving in and out to spots like you'd expect in a title match but it didn't last long. Saito had history but maybe not the right sort and he wasn't the right guy for this role in front of this crowd. The finish felt five years before its time though, with Larry surviving one Saito suplex only to get his feet up on the ropes to press back harder on the second which theoretically (physics be damned) let him get his shoulder up at the last second.

ER: Whose physical appearance in pro wrestling reads more "Badass Motherfucker" than Masa Saito? And here he looks even more badass wearing that big beautiful title belt (truly one of the better belt wearers in wrestling, as this footage shows) while standing next to Business BBQ Riki Choshu in his dad jeans and ponytail. But I really dug this match. Neither man really felt like they were sticking to assigned face/heel dynamics; you assume Saito would be the heel just because "not American" but Zbyszko doesn't really work like a face for large parts of this. But I liked all the work and when heel work would happen it was never cheating, it just meant each guy worked more aggressively, and that's more interesting to me. I thought the early grappling was really tight and a lot of this felt hard fought, more of a struggle than the match structure I was expecting. It looked like Larry tried to take Saito down right at the beginning and Saito blocked it and immediately turned it into a shoot Fujiwara, with both then scrambling for dominance. The standing grappling down to even stuff like their knucklelocks were totally engaging to me.

I liked them working holds, and I thought that was a good way to highlight the other nice feature of the match, an Actual Good Guest Referee in Nick Bockwinkel. I liked how he would handle the holds and pinfalls, getting down athletically and engagingly without ever being tempted to get in the way of action or drawing attention to himself. If it wasn't Nick Bockwinkel and just some guy, he would just come off like a really good ref. It's not a surprise that Bockwinkel is a good referee. It feels like something he would excel at. I loved how they made big parts of this look like a fight, and the turnbuckle spots were some of the absolute best in recent memory. I was impressed with how great Saito was making shots into the buckles look, really looking like Larry was forcing his face into them....and then moments later Zbyszko was ramming that top buckle so ferociously that he looked like he was trying to hardway bleed. You watch Saito slamming Larry's head into the buckles for a 10 count, and you tell me the last time you saw that spot done as well. 

The Saito suplexes were great, loved the way he drops Larry straight down. But man did I hate this finish. It felt both ahead of its time, and completely annoying and nonsensical. Saito lifts for a Saito suplex, Larry walks up and pushes up off the ropes, sending him backwards even harder than the other suplexes he took...the suplex even harder than he took any other suplex in the match. He landed higher up on his shoulders and it looked hard as hell...but then he just got his shoulder up at the 3 count. I hate that fucking finish, and if this was the first time I'd have seen it I'd have hated it for the first time. There's a big muddled confusion as Saito is announced as winner and Bockwinkel slowly and too casually walks over to Zbyszko and raises his hand, and then Zbyszko acts surprised and disbelieving that he won, which came off like a really bizarre reaction. A fan is shown in the crowd holding a "Larry Does Not Suck" sign, which I am still actually laughing about. It's calmly and sincerely meaning to answer a question I didn't realize was being asked, and it open-faced honesty is so hilarious to me. Not "Larry Rocks" or "Larry Rules", but taking the opposite approach and saying "Larry Isn't Bad at This" or "Larry is Trying and I Noticed". I love it and hate every part of the ending, even my favorite front row Teamster immediately understanding what happened and trying to alert officials that Larry got his shoulder up, even Saito sending Larry into a killer postmatch beatdown backdrop (okay no I obviously loved it because I'd probably love a backdrop in any part of a match). This match has now left me confused.

The Destruction Crew vs. Paul Diamond/The Trooper

MD: The more I think about this, the more I like it. Given the purpose it had, it was nearly perfect, actually. The only issue was that the crowd kind of loved the Destruction Crew. There's not a lot that they could do about that, I guess. So the deal here was this: one of the big matches at Twin Wars was going to be Rheingans teaming with Benchwarmer Bob Lurtsema - a local sports star/sports bar owner pushing 50 - against the Destruction Crew. This was going to set it up by having him be a special ref. It follows the formula of Zbyszko vs Ledoux a bit, which feels like it was a success for the AWA but I can't at all quantify that. Two ref shots for Lurtsema (this being the second) and then the match. Therefore, instead of the babyfaces getting a real comeback here, Lurtsema was going to cannibalize that pop.

With that in mind, they sort of flipped the script. At first I thought it was because Wilkes was super green and enthusiastic, but it's because of this. The first half of the match is Enos being petrified of getting into the cage and then tossed into it by the babyfaces again and again and again as he bleeds all over the place. Generally, I like cage matches where they really build to the use of the catch, where the babyfaces barely get to use it at all until their comeback, but it made sense to topload it here. The transition was Trooper missing a ridiculously big elbow drop off the top and what really kept putting him down was Tully putting a chair up to the cage from the outside so that the Crew could toss him into a completely no-give situation. The fans were generally behind the Crew over the babyfaces but that still got heat every time they went to it. Honestly, I get what they were going here and I think, if you add in the post-match promos (of which we have a litany of, including Verne, from off camera, completely browbeating Bischoff who looked like the most uncomfortable sap in the world), it was a fairly successful promotional tactic. The problem is that this was shaping up to be a pretty solid cage match and we got robbed of a comeback. I wish they didn't eminent domain away Verne's collateral so that we would have gotten another year of the Tully/Crew pairing.

PAS: I thought this was really good, and if the Lurtsema stuff had worked for the crowd, it could have been an all timer. Man the 90s pairing of Destruction Crew and Tully Blanchard has to be an all time What Ifs. I could just see that trio running rampant all over a fed with more of a future. Enos takes a big time thrashing early and it was some really good babyface standing tall stuff. Trooper's big missed elbow ruled, and the beatdown was great stuff. I agree that putting all the heat on Benchwarmer made the match feel incomplete, the Trooper just gets wrecked, we never get a big Paul Diamond hot tag or Trooper comeback. You could have still had that, and then run some business with Benchwarmer Bob. I actually like this roster, they are a little light on babyfaces, Saito should always be a heel, and really Nord is better as a heel too, but the heel roster is pretty great.

ER: I thought this was legitimately great. I thought it stood up among the greatest tag matches in AWA history, and honestly it's my favorite tag match I've watch in 2019, and it's one of the greatest tag team cage matches I've seen. I loved this, every bit of it. It was a perfectly condensed 10 minutes of bell to bell asskicking. Both teams were so good, Diamond and Trooper exceeding all expectations and beating so much ass that this was like watching Destruction Crew vs. Destruction Crew. Mike Enos eats a beating on every single inch of that cage, he was such a great meathead pinball, flopping onto his face and comically stepping over the whole ring, taking all sorts of hard face first shots into the cage, and bouncing back and forth between big Diamond and Trooper punches. Enos gets busted open and his big bumping doesn't slow when he gets bloodied up, and watching Diamond and Trooper punch away at a loopy Enos's bloody head gives me a full head of respect for Diamond and Del Wilkes. 

Wayne Bloom comes in and I love what he does with all of this, scrambling up and over the top and getting pulled over, getting punched on the top of the cage, and then coming up with several dramatic blocks of his face going into the cage, all leading to an eyepoke to finally get the Destruction Crew out of the red. Then we get Trooper flying 2/3 across the ring with a missed elbow, and you get Enos and Bloom throwing their dickhead elbows (Enos would run at the faces and hit these rad almost standing elbowdrops, running into them at a nice lean elbow first, whereas Bloom has one of my favorite traditional elbows and all of his elbow strikes look even better with his sharp ass 'bows), and by the time Tully was holding up a steel chair on the floor for the Crew to run the faces into, I was over the moon. And that was before Destruction Crew's insane Doomsday Device had even happened. Swoon. Say what you will about the Lurtsema stuff, I thought it was fine minor celeb involvement. I have no idea how much of an actual local legend Lurtsema was to people 15 years after he was a Viking, like would a 2019 Minnesota native get excited for Lew Ford dropping a leg drop on someone in a cage match? Probably! This whole thing ruled. I genuinely do think it stands up with the greatest AWA tag matches in history, and completely unheralded matches than many knew existed are some of the greatest joys in wrestling. I already knew I was going to eventually do a Destruction Crew/Beverly Bros. C&A; I didn't realize I would be looking through Paul Diamond or Del Wilkes' careers either...

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New Footage Friday: Can-Ams, Kikuchi, Kobashi, Aoyagi, Kurisu, Steiners, Eaton, Enos

PAS: Pete from PWO drops another awesome batch of Handhelds including another Can-Ams vs. Kobashi/Kikuchi match, so despite the Network pooping out another turd, we get a great week of New Footage.

ER: Phil is an old crank, and let me say that for people of a certain age, Lex Luger slamming Yokozuna was a big deal. Preteen me loved seeing and hearing about all the different athletes from different sports, all wanting to slam Yoko. I loved that they got a tiny jockey to give it a shot, the whole thing made it seem to me that pro wrestling was a lot bigger deal than it actually was. I still remember how excited I was when Jim Duggan knocked Yoko off his feet in a match, and as we didn't have cable I actually went over to my grandparent's to watch the aircraft carrier showdown. I think a full upload of the Intrepid footage is something that would be extremely exciting to people who are currently age 31-37, and absolutely not interesting to anybody else. Phil's not wrong for being unexcited for uncut Intrepid footage, but it ain't for him.


Dan Kroffat/Doug Furnas vs. Kenta Kobashi/Tsuyoshi Kikuchi AJPW 6/1/91

PAS: This is a previously unseen precursor to their all time legendary match a year later. It doesn't reach the highs of the 1992 match (few matches ever really do), this had many of the elements that made that match so special. Kikuchi is an all time great face in peril, he takes huge bumps (the doomsday device DDT here is especially grotesque), gets his body bent in sick ways (both Can-Ams were trying to touch his heel to his head in Boston Crabs) and times his moments of hope and counters perfectly. Kobashi is a tremendous hot tag too, he has such a variety of big and great looking offense, and while I have sometimes found that tiring in singles matches, it is great in a tag format. Can-Ams have some really impressive tag offense, Furnas may not have been a complete wrestler, but man was he an athletic marvel, and when he starts throwing those monster dropkicks and ranas it is something special. The final set of near falls in this match really had the crowd rocking, and only the ref blowing the finish and counting three, when it clearly was two, keeps this from that rarefied air of top AJPW matches. Still what a discovery to unearth

ER: What a spectacular discovery, maybe the most fun tag match to get unearthed in the last year, four super creative guys all flourishing, really feels like these guys have enough material to work 45 without the match ever seeming long. From the beginning Kroffat is working the match with an immediacy that makes it feel like the match is going to be an under 10 minute burner, but they keep that energy up for 20 minutes. As I was watching this I kept thinking "Man I'm really impressed with Kroffat in this match..." then a second later "Man I'm really impressed with Kobashi in this..." and then "Man I'm really impressed with Kikuchi in this..." Sometimes when watching a match I'll be internally ranking who I think is having the best performance in a match, just automatically. And this match had me flipping out because everyone was in the running for best in the match. Kobashi is a guy we've all seen enough of at this point, but seeing him as the fired up hot tag protecting his buddy is reinvigorating, and it was a kick watching him toss off big Saito suplexes and unhinged lariats (one sees him spill into Kroffat's legs right after landing it and following through). Kroffat and Furnas were insane athletes, and here Kroffat is moving as quickly as I've ever seen him, all of his chops and strikes have this fast snap, and all of his cool kick combinations landed with precision. Kroffat threw one big crescent kick that landed fresh right across Kikuchi's chin, landed hard on a senton, was always where energy was needed. Furnas - as Phil noted - is not really a complete wrestler, but is a super fun wrestler in this setting. He has world famous power, and it's so cool to see his deadlift throws, and in a great spot he caught a Kikuchi crossbody and shifted his weight enough to show he had caught him, and then quickly planted him with a belly to belly.

Kikuchi was at his best here, at his most fighting spirit, able to crack you with an elbow and almost steal pinfall victories the whole time, and catching a mean beating from the Can Ams. His timing is always so good about going for roll-ups that you always buy them as possible match enders. We built to a lot of great saves and some big moments, the fans really getting understandably whipped up. I have no actual idea how Kikuchi survived the top rope DDT, it looked like a move where we should have been saying "Oh whoa footage of Kikuchi's final wrestling match finally got found", but both teams were just so good with saves and building nearfalls that Kikuchi just must have used the adrenaline from having not just died to ramp up his performance even more. The finish, clearly, is a damn shame. I'm sure the match was ending shortly anyway, but man what a shame. Wada calls for the bell on a pin that clearly gets saved by a diving Kobashi, and then it's one of those awkward situations where there's a language barrier and everybody keeps wrestling. What a bummer of a momentum killer to a match that still manages to be a straight classic. This match is right around the top of the best handhelds we've seen uncovered in the last year. A real find.

MD: What a find. The match we have between them is one of the best AJPW tags of the 90s. I personally like it more than some that are more touted. A lot of that has to do with Kroffat's oozing character and near memphis-esque grounding of things.

Botched finish aside, this was a blast. Obviously, I wish we had it pro-shot because Kikuchi's expressions and Kroffat's swagger were two of my favorite things about the match we had, but we're just lucky to have it at all.

There are a bunch of highlights, but what stood out the most were Kroffat and Kobashi going at it full intensity to begin. It's one of the best opening exchanges to a tag match you'll ever see. Add in a loose narrative of the Can-Ams taking more than not, with multiple fairly hot tags and an incredibly hot finishing stretch with believable kick outs underpinned a bunch of 2-count partner break-ups and even the botched finish really can't take this down too many notches. 


Masashi Aoyagi vs. Masanobu Kurisu NJPW 9/21/91

PAS: This is the second Kurisu vs. Aoyagi match unearthed from Pete's treasure trove of HH's. I thought their February 91 match was kind of a puro indy scum version of Necro Butcher vs. Samoa Joe, this was kind of like the later IWA-MS rematch, still great, still violent as hell, but lacking some of that kinetic energy. They actually start by feeling each other out a bit, before it breaks down. Kurisu lays in some of his trademark off putting stomps and headbutts, and he really crushes Aoyagi with some of his side of the chair shots. Finish has Aoyagi ripping off his gi, and throwing a bunch of big spin kicks until he lays Kurisu out for good. It never totally broke out into a riot, which is what you want from platonic ideal of this match, but I certainly enjoyed it and was jazzed that it showed up.

MD: I liked this as a second Kurisu vs Aoyagi datapoint. I'd only seen the first match in the run-up to watching this, but that was immediately iconic, both in the Aoyagi mad rush to begin and in the virtual stabbing Kurisu gives him with the chair. Still, that match was like lightning and it always interesting to see if it can strike twice.

This was fairly validating in that regard. While it may not have had the same level of raw violence as the first one, there were some different elements I enjoyed. I liked how Aoyagi started far more gingerly and carefully. It didn't help him but it added some variation and a sense of strategy. Kurisu was still the same descending fog of chaos. He chokes people as well and as believably as anyone I've ever seen. When Aoyagi would sell not having any wind, you more or less believed it as legit.

What I liked best was the comeback though. The spin-kick out of nowhere in order to counter a brutal beating was La Fiera/Sangre Chicana level of great. It was just one of those moments that really and feels like pure payoff, especially, in this case, because I wasn't expecting it after the last match. 

ER: Love that this showed up, anything to add to our pile of both Kurisu and Aoyagi, and even better when it's against each other. Here we get a glimpse of evil goatee Kurisu and he takes nothing but hard kicks in the early parts, enough that I don't know how he's going to make it back into the match. But oh, right, it's Kurisu, so he finally catches a baseball bat kick to the chest and loads up one of the greatest headbutts you've seen. The kind that's so hard that he has such heat on his forehead afterwards that he keeps checking it, positive that he's cut himself open. And then we get to the real plain leveler of Kurisu, when he grabs a chair from ringside. Kurisu - much like Necro Butcher after him - is a true artiste with a folding chair. Necro's specialty was his precise aim in chair throwing, Kurisu's is in the fine art of landing a chair into the side of someone's neck. He does this, several times, and you can tell when Kurisu is pulling his chair shots, and he's someone with a great worked chair shot. Some benevolent soul needs to bring us an LA Park vs. Kurisu Chairman of Wrestling match. There were a dozen worse vanity matches at the most recent Mania Weekend shows, surely someone recognizes what a draw Park will be, and what an...additional expense Kurisu would be? Kurisu kills Aoyagi with chair shots, including a masterpiece with him leaping off the ropes. Once his chair is taken away he just goes on to stomping neck. I really dug Aoyagi's gi removal as a Hulk up/Lawler strap move, and his standing spinning heel kicks were great. Kurisu was super smart about selling them, as you can tell one was supposed to be the finish but Aoyagi kicked low and swung into Kurisu's arm, so Kurisu just got up and let Aoyagi spinkick him in the head again, so the finish looks better. Awesome.


Steiner Brothers vs. Mike Enos/Bobby Eaton NJPW 2/16/94

MD: It's a joy to get to see Eaton do his thing like this. For 94 Eaton, there was an extra bit of oomph to it all, including a big bump over the guard rail off an apron dive by Rick and a near tragic attempt at letting Rick reverse a Doomsday Device into a belly to belly.

It's the nuts and bolts stuff that stand out. Enos is a little flashier but past his opening handshake with Scott, every single thing that Eaton does has meaning and serves the purpose to get the Steiners over as faces. It's perfectly distilled tag team wrestling which is somehow more enjoyable for the setting.

Otherwise, this is pretty much everything you'd want out of 94 Steiners in a 10 minute match. Scott has his matwork shine (including a nasty STF). They do a big, perfectly timed spot with Rick plowing through everyone. Rick's a wrecking ball. Scott's a machine. Enos and Eaton are the foils who can take their stuff and grind them down for the last comeback. Past the crazy botch (which the crowd loved because of Enos' unwitting posturing after the fact, so it more or less worked anyway), this was spot on for what it ought to have been.

PAS: Puro Bobby Eaton is the best, he had a couple of tours of New Japan (including a tag run with our boy Tony Halme, which is true dream match material). He has a bunch of experience working with the Steiners and there are bunch of fun moments, I especially loved the early amateur scrambles with Scott, which he breaks up with one of his classic uppercuts. Nothing I love more then Rick Steiner clotheslines and he has some great ones here, including a great one off the apron which sends Eaton into the front row. I liked Enos trying (and failing) to match Rick suplex to suplex. I didn't mind the doomsday device counter, it wasn't cleanly hit but it looked devastating.

ER: This is really fun, and for a show that wasn't taped these guys all take some nice spills. Eaton takes a hard Scott lariat over the top to the floor, then moments later takes a big bump into the crowd on a lariat. Enos goes toe to toe with the Steiners and keeps getting shown up in amusing fashion, challenging Rick with a huge powerslam and getting upended by one moments later, trying to get underhooks on Rick, who easily adjusts and hurls him with a belly to belly, Enos tries to muscle Scott into a top wristlock and Scott flips both Enos and Eaton. Enos' meathead charisma really helps this in unexpected ways. It's a neat combo and we've seen a few Eaton/Arn tags against the Steiners, but Eaton with Enos is like a more fun version of Eaton and Kenny Kaos. The Doomsday Device belly to belly suplex counter is just a nutso spot to even attempt, that you can't really criticize for not working out (since nobody got killed). A few years ago a friend criticized Rick Rude for not hitting a clean kneedrop in the Piper/Rude cage match, but it's a freaking kneedrop off the top of a cage! To hit it cleanly would have meant certain death for Piper. The move was crazy to try, but Enos gets some laughs by prematurely celebrating, which turned the spot into a dangerous - but saved - stooge spot instead of a botched dangerous spot. Awesome stuff, great action for a match that wasn't taped.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 6/30/96

Dave Taylor/Bobby Eaton vs. Fire & Ice

ER: This is fun for what we got, but man I really wanted to see an actual full tag match between these two. Just like the Faces of Fear vs. Duggan/Pittman match from the previous episode, the potential was high as there were 4 tough guys who didn’t mind hitting hard or getting hit hard. And there were plenty of guys getting hit hard in this match, it was just a very quick 4 minutes. Taylor and Train do a nice shoulderblock exchange, and Taylor wrecks him with a few uppercuts, high dropkick to the chest, and a nasty forearm smash across the chest. I love Dave Taylor. A C&A Dave Taylor will need to be done in the future. I have a feeling he won’t really have many classic singles matches, but he is never less than enjoyable in a tag or multiman. So the match is going great, but sadly Eaton gets kind of steamrolled. He tags in, throws a couple nice punch variations to a held-by-Taylor Ice Train, then goes for an ill-advised top rope elbow. Once he misses that Fire & Ice just takes over. Norton didn’t seem in the mood to sell anything, Eaton takes a big crooked backdrop, eats Norton’s crippling shoulderbreaker and a big splash from Train, and on the floor Regal advises Taylor to not even attempt to break up the pin. So what we got was real fun, but could have been all time great had it gotten 10 minutes and actually let Eaton shine a bit.

Kurosawa vs. Alex Wright

ER: This had some miscommunication, and the layout left a lot to be desired, but I was impressed by how expressive Kurosawa was. Wright had a bunch of potential but often disappointed. He hit a couple athletically pretty but light landing dropkicks, and a couple European uppercuts that seem a lot weaker when we're merely 10 minutes removed from Dave Taylor. But Nakanishi took Wright's offense in a fun stooge style, really cartoon-y but atmosphere appropriate. Nakanishi has light arm strikes but really heavy legs, so he hit a couple of so so forearms but then aimed to kick a hole in Wright's chest and threw some big stomps. He also committed to a big missed elbow off the top. So there was some heart in the match, but it didn't go to a very interesting place. Nakanishi did some offense for awhile, then Wright came back with a spinning heel kick and German suplex. And, how crazy is it that Nakanishi is basically still working a full schedule?

ER: Macho Man does a promo with Mean Gene to build up the upcoming WCW Theatre at MSG show, and threatens guest referee Bruno Sammartino . Still can't believe they don't use a graphic of Bruno to build this up. 

Rough & Ready vs. Cobra/Bill Payne

ER: Bill Payne was around for a shockingly long time, was a guy big enough to actually get an entrance now and then, but also never win a match. He looks like Super Crazy mixed with Julio Fantastico. Rough and Ready were truly the cruelest gift, an awesome pairing that only got paired 20 times, with half of those not making television. I love the combo of 1996 combo of mid 40s Dick Slater and Pussy Wagon Mike Enos (The Mauler??). Bill Payne eats a full landing vertical suplex from Enos on the spinning stage, painful spill, and I'm now a Bill Payne fan. He also eats a badass fallaway slam off the middle ropes from Enos. Enos is really muscling this guy around and it's awesome. Slater kicks Payne in the gut with a flat out great stomach kick, and Enos hits one of the biggest high rotation power slam you've seen. You need to cherish the Rough & Ready that you come across in the wild. It is nature's endorphins.

The Gambler vs. Booty Man

ER: Gambler has his sick as hell red trunks with all four playing card suits on the back. Gambler is such a great stooge, and a real pro, the kind of guy I really appreciate. I'd rather watch all of the Gambler matches than the best Kenny Omega matches. Gambler is the Chris Elliott of wrestling. A little thicker, but an understanding of physical reaction, a fun but punchable face, and an undeserved smug cockiness. Booty doesn't bring much of interest other than Kimberly Page. Gambler brings nice clubbing arms, solid stomps, big falls, and leans into Booty's high knee. High Knee. Say it.

Kensuke Sasaki vs. The Giant

ER: Surprised they would put Sasaki in with the Giant, as I didn't think Sasaki was there to lose one minute matches. He throws hard chops and hard leg kicks, and Giant's big chokeslam is super impressive, as he lifts him with one arm, then lifts him higher before dropping to his knees with the slam. I wanted more, obviously.

Hugh Morrus vs. Lex Luger

ER: Luger is a god on these 1996 shows, and he has truly gotten the worst of what WCW has to offer. Who else is having to make chicken salad out of a main event opposite Hugh Morris or Konnan? Luger knows how to craft matches out of these lugs beyond lugs, working this one like a great Hogan match. Morrus gets a couple of big slams to start and they slow play them, with Morrus hamming it up and Luger selling them with a "You think that's a knife" face. Luger let's him think he's at a disadvantage, then just explodes on Morrus with a bunch of nice forearms and shows off a bodyslam of his own and hits a nice powerslam on a big guy. Luger really does work the best version of the Hogan match you're used to, because he's not working with the same level of insecurity. He's cool with his spot on the pecking order, happy with the amount of money he's made, not scared of guys like Hugh Morrus. He knows he can sell for Morrus and naturally look like a star, so it makes a Hogan-style match more like a Nice John Cena match without toddler shorts and goofy faces. Morrus gets to merely miss the No Laughing Matter instead of having Luger take it, then just kick out and go for win. Missing the moonsault that leads to a Luger comeback is a much more organic way of moving the match along, and Morrus also gets to eyerake his way out of a Torture Rack. A Hogan match with him missing a legdrop would make it more interesting, give it some more depth. Morrus didn't look great here, but it didn't matter, because we had Lex Luger running things in 1996.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE WCW B-SIDES

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 6/23/96

J.L. vs. Brad Armstrong

ER: So like...nobody really knew who Jerry Lynn was...and he's under a mask...so why were they married to acknowledging what his shoot initials are? He's under a mask, fucking call him anything. Bobby Heenan, on JL: "I...I don't really know anything about this guy." Brad Armstrong's mullet is the embodiment of "business in the front, party in the back". The front looks so damn professional, a nice high and tight, and a one millimieter turn to either side makes him immediately look like a total degenerate. Like, straight on he's a nice guy your sister met at church, then he turns and he's that nice guy's speed dealing ex-friend from high school. And this is pretty great as Brad doesn't actually work heel, but he gives JL most of the offense, takes some nice rolling Tim Horner armdrags and eats a tough missile dropkick (man I can never spell "missile" right on the first go through. My fingers just move in all the wrong directions), Lynn really shotgunned him to the chest. But they do that spot I hate where JL hits a flush crossbody off the top, Armstrong splats on the mat fully 100% taking the crossbody, hits the mat hard...and then rolls it through for a 2 count. That takes me so far out of the match. The Russian legsweep does look nice, but they took a dumb route to get there.

Arn Anderson/Taskmaster vs. Leroy Howard/Bill Payne

ER: Ohhhhhhh shit Leroy Howard is Rastaman from BattlArts!! IS THIS THE ONLY TIME ARN ANDERSON HAS FOUGHT A BATTLARTS GUY!?!? He somehow only has ONE listed match opposite Valentine? None against Backlund...There's got to be a really obvious one that I'm forgetting or a completely bonkers one that nobody would know ("oh yeah I think he wrestled Urban Ken on a charity show"). This is history! I had also forgotten all about an Arn/Sullivan tag team. And this match was kind of weird. Howard is only in this match for the first 20 seconds, and the rest is basically Arn and Sullivan stomping Bill Payne. Sullivan gets all rowdy when he tags in, and goes for a fucking headscissors! Like a Ricky Morton/Marty Jannetty style headscissors where you pose for a bit with your legs around your opponent's head while your body is jutting diagonally away from his torso. There's a major problem, which is that Kevin Sullivan has zero hops, so when he comes running in, his legs make it somewhere around Payne's waist. And BLESS BILL PAYNE because he grabs onto Sullivan's leg and is holding Sullivan upside down, and still manages to take a bump as if he had been headscissored. Sullivan kicks him in the eye as a thank you. Later Arn would hold him in a Boston Crab and drag him to the ropes so Sullivan can kick him in the head a bunch. I liked Arn in this, which shouldn't be a shock. He dropped a nice knee and obviously hit a great spinebuster. I do wish we could have seen more of Leroy Howard though.

ER: There's a Mean Gene promo segment promoting the upcoming (June 30th) WCW house show at the MSG theater. This feels like a big deal, and BRUNO is on the card as a guest ref. I'm sure there's a 6 hour Between the Sheets pod that covers this house show in detail. WCW touring into New York City feels like a big deal (even if running at "The Theatre at the Garden" feels like a pretty good self-own, like laughing about doing a merely passable job at ironing your exes' clothes), and a quick check shows that this upcoming house show will only be the 2nd time WCW ran NYC in the 90s. AND they only ran NYC *FOUR TIMES EVER*! And the two shows in 1998 were free PR events, one of them a free show with a few matches in Bryant Park and the other an event in conjunction with MTV called MTV Ultimate Video Bash, which was a flat out absurd event. It was an outdoor event in the pouring rain, maybe a hundred fans in attendance, with the original idea that wrestlers would represent bands whose videos would play throughout the show (Barry Darsow represented Run DMC!) in a tournament. But it was pouring so hard that the only match that happened was Public Enemy, representing LL Cool J, which...I...you ARE ALREADY NAMED AFTER A LEGENDARY HIP HOP ACT. Anyway, PE fought High Voltage (representing Will Smith, which feels like a MAJOR missed opportunity to not be representing Public Enemy) in the rain, while we got the (probably?) never again commentary team of Shiavone, Zbyszko, and Matt Pinfield. The match is a couple minutes long, but High Voltage are great in it. This two minute match would have given them a standing on a DVDVR500. The ring is soaked and slippery as hell, and there are no mats around the ring, and they both go full speed on a spot where they get Irish whipped into each other, Rage bumps big to the floor, then takes an awesome tumbling bump into the barricades (remember, no mats) AND gets a Drive-By through a table. High Voltage owned this event.

Anyway, yeah, WCW only ran 4 times in NYC, in their entire history, and only two were "real" shows. This upcoming show on 6/30 was the realest, as the other was from 1993. This show was when they were much bigger as a company. The show looked good on paper, but it feels like a weenie move to only run the Theatre. Run MSG, even if you "only" get 4,000 people in there. Was there a deal in place where only WWF could run there? This whole show feels like a major moment in the promotion's history, and it's treated in this promo like just another house show. You'd think they would be advertising Bruno's name more. They bring it up and Mean Gene sounds like he thinks it's a big deal, but it only gets a quick mention. Before this I had zero idea that Bruno had ever done business with WCW in the mid 90s. I can't believe they didn't even have an onscreen graphic.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

ER: I know it's easy to make these kind of statements after the fact, but my god can Benoit look like a dead-eyed soulless psychopath. Here he came out with Arn and Arn promo'd to the camera while Benoit just vacantly stared. Yeesh. I have a real hard time focusing during this one, but Eddie was a machine here. Benoit came off really sadistic - my perception or real, not sure - with some casually tossed off violent dead eyed offense; suplexing Eddie onto the top rope gut first a couple times, mean chops, hard knees to the stomach, all with this joyless killer face. Eddie bumps huge for all of it, but his comeback is a little bit too convenient. He just kind of snaps and then comes back with a snap suplex and hits a knees to the ribs frog splash. Kind of unsatisfying but it was hot as hell with the crowd. I don't like crapping on something the crowd is clearly hot for, and Eddie had great fire, just thought Benoit went from ice cold killer to overwhelmed a bit too quick. Arn Anderson had a great ringside cheat by pulling the top rope down to send Eddie flying to the floor. This was hot but I guess I just wasn't in the mood for it, but nobody could have any arguments with the move execution here.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kensuke Sasaki

ER: A kid mugging for the camera by the entrance gets surprised when suddenly large thick Asian man with a mullet and leather jacket walks by an inch from his small head. DDP’s gear seemed so dated in 1996, I still think it is completely unfathomable that he became as big a star as he did. Two years after this he was huge, and here he’s coming out in lime green tights with a shiny pink vest, smoking a cigar and wiggling his fingers at the camera. Who was this look based on? What type of person was he mimicking for his character? I love how well it ended up working out for him. And this match rules. It has an unexpectedly hot start that it can’t really maintain, but DDP knew exactly what he was doing and how to work through with a Japanese guy who Florida tourist fans would automatically boo just for being Japanese. DDP made Sasaki the clear face despite Sasaki not being great at playing to fans, at all. DDP takes a nice amount of time to get Sasaki to agree to a handshake, then as their hands have barely touched DDP is already booting him in the stomach and throwing hard elbows, Sasaki hits a sharp back elbow right under the chin, DDP eats a fast lariat that sends him to the floor, and he writhes on the floor on his back, comically. It’s a great start to the match. DDP’s basics are nice, throws a good kick to the stomach, nice stomp to he gut, a couple nice short elbow drops high on the chest, and his long gangly limbs almost whip around when he takes offense. Sasaki was a short little bull, hits a nice big rotation powerslam, and takes the Diamondcutter really well. His sell was one of the best I’ve seen, landing normally, but slowly lifting his face off the mat like he was a cat running into a sliding glass door. He naturally rolled over for the pin, really expertly getting into position after the cutter. Very nice.

The Mauler vs. Sting

ER: The Mauler is Mike Enos, not called Mike Enos on the onscreen entrance graphic, but instead called The Mauler. His hair is breezy, chin length and flops when he walks. He has a small mustache, and looks to be the inspiration for Buck, who likes to Fuck. And this match is an absolutely perfect 3 minutes of wrestling. Flawless. It crams everything you want to see into 3 succinct minutes. These two (three, with Col. Robert Parker out with Mauler) could have worked much longer than that, but a perfect 3 is sublime. Sting gets to shine early and Enos bumps big all around for him, ending with him being tossed hip tossed and stumbling and bouncing through the ropes to the hard stage, then having Parker hold him back for running recklessly back into the ring. He eventually does, and he ends up taking an even bigger, more spectacular bump over the top to the floor, onto that hard freaking stage, and the fans are flipping out for Sting. Sting even grabs Parker’s cowboy hat and sees which side of the crowd is loudest so he could throw it to them. Every time Sting pretended to throw the hat, ref Randy Anderson would jump in front of him like he was Secret Service jumping to stop a bullet from hitting the president. Sting then threatens to stomp the hat and Parker is flipping out, but Mauler has snuck quietly around the ring and sneaks in and lariats Sting in the back of the head, a hard backbreaker, then hits a HUGE powerslam that gave him a nice strut as he walked by Kensuke Sasaki later that taping. THAT’S how we do powerslams in Florida, motherfucker. We end quick but it's a quality ending, as Parker gets up on the apron to cheat by Mauler gets reversed into him, then Sting kicks Mauler’s leg out and locks on the Scorpion Deathlock. This was aces, 3 minutes of the best stuff.

Faces of Fear vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman/Jim Duggan

ER: Weird, disappointing match. It’s almost entirely Duggan and Pittman, and Duggan is working pretty light, Meng acts afraid of Pittman, Barbarian fights with Teddy Long over Duggan’s 2x4 for way too long, just an unsatisfying match. There is early intrigue in the Meng/Pittman sections, Pittman goes for a couple cool amateur takedowns, and the best part of the match was the two of them getting tangled in the ropes, but neither wanting to break. So Meng had gone to the ropes to break a hold but then had a standing grapevine on Pittman’s leg and neither man was budging. It could have gone somewhere interesting, but it didn’t. Faces of Fear kind of looked like doofs here which just isn’t totally what I wanted to see. I bet there’s a cool match between these two teams. Duggan isn’t always a lame, and the potential for some amateur tough guy shenanigans seems high.

COMPLETE & ACCURATE WCW B-SIDES

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Pro 8/24/96

Good grief Larry is wearing an absurd button up tie dye shirt and really seems like he's attempting to look worse than any number of crowd members wearing t-shirts with Taz dunking a basketball. I'm also convinced that t-shirts were only made in color "white" during most of the 90s. Thinking back to all of my No Fear shirts when I was in 7th grade and those were all white. This is just a whole crowd of white shirted people in weird fitting pants. You can't see much detail, but I'm assuming there were at least 7 Big Johnson shirts in this crowd.

1. Mike Enos vs. Chad Brock

Shit yeah this sounds fun on paper, and it really was a fantastic Enos showcase. Not only does Enos tear into Brock but he also makes Brock's sub-par stomach kicks look good. Enos shows ass for Brock and misses a giant elbow drop. Enos also hits an insane standing overhead belly to belly which is really impressive since Brock isn't a tiny guy. Enos' strikes look great and he came off like an absolute mauler here.

2. Faces of Fear vs. Chip Minton/Billy Payne

You know what? I'm calling bullshit on the monster Meng. This dude was the Bruiser Brody of the 90s. Everybody has heard so many stories about Meng biting peoples' noses off and bar fights and Finlay backstage staredowns and they just think this guy is thee fucking shooter. But you know what? Meng usually looks like dog shit in the ring. His strikes usually look like garbage and he rarely stiffs up jobbers. Billy Payne had a jheri curl mohawk and a horrible singlet. Nobody deserved a stiff beating more than this guy. And it just didn't happen. Barbarian worked Payne's ass over something fierce. Booted his face, threw some crazy stiff chops. Meng just makes goofy faces and locks on his death grip. He does hit a stiff atomic drop on Chip Minton, but that seemed more like Minton getting his trademark crazy height on moves and launching himself balls first into Meng's knee. So that's it, this is the moment where I no longer get excited for Meng vs. jobber matches. The guy was just too much of a lovable teddy bear to hurt poor little jobbers. All rep no actual video to back it up. Yeah, it was amazing that one time he speared the cardboard cutout of Goldberg, but I need some nose biting or finger breaking before I come back on board.

3. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Misterio Jr.

According to Chris Cruise this is the first time these two have met, and that's pretty damn cool if true (and it's not unbelievable as I don't think Chavo really worked anywhere before WCW. If he did then I've never seen it). Rey takes a lunatic monkey flip bump that lands him into the ropes and he and Eddy are like the only guys I've seen do that spot regularly and it just seems super dangerous. Rey recovers and sends Chavo to the floor, and hits a somersault senton and just splats butt first into Chavo and Chavo lands with a brutal thud onto the unforgiving rotating platform that the Pro ring is placed on. And Rey comes up limping and holding his knee. Hmmmm. I mean, knowing what I know now it's not a stretch to think that Rey's knees were already feeling like a bag of potato chips that had been stomped on, but we'll see how this plays out. Back in and Chavo starts wrenching and elbow dropping the knee so thank god. Makes me just think that Dean was missing physical cues in that other match, but...naw I have no clue what happened in that match. And HOLY FUCK Chavo hits a plancha to the floor and Rey absorbs it halfway on the stage and half off and they splat right onto the edge of that stupid ass stage set up and Rey has those 2009 Misawa "awwww fuck that hurt" eyes going on. Back in and Chavo hits a beautiful moonsault press just like his daddy, but misses a springboard crossbody and Rey pins him. Chris Cruise says that was impressive because Rey showed that he can hang on the mat as opposed to just aerial attacks, but Rey literally did nothing whatsoever on the mat in this match. Still, match was plenty fun.

4. DDP vs. Craig Pittman

Well...that was an 8 minute DDP/Craig Pittman match. About 3 minutes of this was DDP holding a chinlock, building to him getting caught with his feet on the ropes. So that whole gag happened. Pittman is a real odd duck as sometimes he looks really cool in the ring and other times his style just does not mesh and he moves really clunky. Like here. DDP will bump big for an old man and Pittman ate a clothesline real nice and took the Diamond Cutter on the floor but...this just didn't work out.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Saturday Night 1/16/99

26 hours away from Souled Out from Charleston, West Virginia!!!

1. Barry Horowitz vs. Wrath

I forgot Wrath had the awesome "Running With the Devil" intro to his music. And I have no recollection of Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath from Souled Out. Wrath looks like the most juiced out of his gourd Burt Reynolds from "White Lightning" here, like he's all hopped up on Joker's toxin from Arkham Asylum. This is more competitive than you may have guessed, and Horowitz gets to hit a cool leaping back elbow from the 2nd rope. Wrath alternates between selling Barry's offense and then completely ignoring it. Barry's kicks to the stomach looked way better than Wrath's.

Nitro Girls calendar ad! Who was regarded as the hottest Nitro Girl anyway? I assume not the one with the super gelled dyed blonde curls? Was Spice the hottest? What was the name of the redhead (I assume Fire or Fyre or Figher?)? Maybe Chai? Who was the least hot Nitro Girl? Whisper? Can we get a consensus 1-10 ranking?

2. David Sierra vs. Chad Fortune

Crowd goes absolutely bonkers for Fortune and I assume it's because he's a gigantic Aryan guy in pleather flame pants against an ethnic guy. In fairness to those ethnically-insensitive fans, David Sierra really does look like a background character from "Quest For Fire" here, and HOLY SHIT Fortune does an awesome delayed fist drop and I suddenly want a "Best of Chad Fortune" VHS. Fortune's pants and giant link necklace look horrible. I don't think he's that good. Here's a selection from the "Monster Truck" section of his Wikipedia page. You may have misread that, and to be clear, Chad Fortune has a "Monster Truck" section on his Wikipedia page:

"Based on his professional wrestling background, he decided to dye his hair black and later his look to match the character of Superman."

Clearly Chad Fortune is the Daniel Day Lewis of monster truck driving. Dude doesn't even talk to crew members unless they call him Clark.

3. Mike Tolbert vs. Meng

Tolbert attacks Meng with leg kicks but Meng has the ability to no sell gassed/tanned/oiled/ponytailed jobber offense and immediately locks on the Tongan Death Grip. This was like 20 seconds.

4. Jeff Warner vs. Disco Inferno

Now I think Wikipedia is lying to me. Here's an excerpt from Jeff Warner's Wikipedia:

"He formed a tag team with Art Barr (who was using a "Beetlejuice" gimmick) called "The Juice Patrol" with Warner going by the name "Big Juice"."

 Oh, come on! No way does a jacked 6' 4" white guy go by "Big Juice"! How hilarious would that make Warner?! Also, there is a whole subsection of his Wikipedia page titled "Max Muscle" and all it says is:

"Contrary to popular belief and information often posted on the internet, Jeff Warner DID NOT portray the WCW character Max Muscle/Maxx."

That seems like a weird thing to drum up controversy over. Did some kid ask him one time at c-level WrestleCon "Hey, are you Maxx Muscle or is his table over there?" and Warner was like "Well just so people aren't confused we better clear the air." So just in case you jerks were curious, Jeff Warner WAS NOT the guitar tech during Creed's "Take Me Higher 2002" tour. He WAS the guy who did a few lines of coke off a Staind jewel case with the DJ from Crazy Town that one time, though.

Some guy in the crowd has a laquered sign that says "Disco Inferno....THE MAN". Front row.

5. Chris Adams vs. Chip Minton

Adams comes out in a GI and this is fucking ONNNNN. This was during the Adams/Minton feud where they were feuding over who gets to use the nickname "World Class". Adams does all sorts of cool shoot-type stuff here, including rad single legs, stomping on Minton's calves, and throws some brutal elbow shots. Then he plants him with a vertical powerbomb and just levels Minton with a great superkick. To really show Minton who's boss he finishes the match with some weird Volk Han submission, using his legs to choke him out while also hyperextending Minton's arm. Looked real weird and nasty.

6. Scotty Riggs vs. Scott Putski

Well, this wasn't one that excited me out of the gates. Riggs is a pretty decent foil for Putski (who goes to a chinlock 40 seconds in) and Putski throws a decent elbow drop. Most of the match is Riggs working over Putski's knee with some pretty nasty knee work (high half crab, punching him right in the knee, bending and twisting his knee over the bottom rope). Putski does an admirable job of selling the knee on his comebacks and you start to BUY the INJURY! And then Riggs hits the 5 Arm for the win. This would have actually been good if Putski's comeback offense was better.

7. Bobby Eaton/Kenny Kaos vs. Bobby Duncum Jr./Mike Enos

These are two weirdo tag teams and on paper this looks like a bank full of money. I know the Kaos/Eaton team formed because Kaos needed a partner with Rage injured, so went to tag team legend Eaton to help him out and condescendingly asks him for help ("it's not like you've had much success doing anything else, Bobby") but I have no memory of a Duncum/Enos team. This match is kinda disappointing as it only goes a few minutes with all guys showing off by seeing who has the best powerslam (Enos) and who throws the best elbow drop (Eaton). You get some nice Eaton punches, and then the match ends awkwardly with a sloppy Duncum leg drop that saw Kaos kick out at 2, but the ref counted 3 anyway and then people kinda stood around awkwardly while we cut to Mean Gene. Oooookay.

[edit]

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Worldwide 8/11/96

WCW Worldwide 8/11/96

1. High Voltage vs. Eddie and Chavo Guerrero

High Voltage do a bunch of press slam spots and I think that always makes me think they're more awesome than they actually are. Whatever. Rage doing a bunch of presses here lead to a cool Eddie roll-up reversal. But whatever, HV's springboard spots always look great. Heenan's commentary also never ceases to shit all over Mexicans.

2. Kevin Sullivan vs. Chad Brock

Brock bumped around pretty well for Sullivan, but I hate Sullivan squashes because they're always like 50 seconds and he does all his moves in the exact same order: back a guy into the corner with chops, throw him to the floor, go out and get him (if '97, insert Jacqueline vertical suplexing the guy here), tree of woe, double foot stomp. Bleh.

3. Maxx vs. Ice Train

Lee Marshall humbly talking about "powerful men feeling each other out" made Rachel laugh and filled me with wrestle shame. I think this match actually could have benefitted from more time. I think it needed more time to build up that both guys' power cancels the other's out, so the person with the better combo of power and speed will win. Instead we only get one shoulder block no-sold by both, with both flexing and screaming, and then we go into Ice Train spots. I would have liked to see more power parity spots. I did like Maxx's big missed leaping back elbow, but this wasn't great.

4. Big Bubba vs. Chip Minton

Bubba looks like a total skeet here with a week long bender beard and homemade sleeveless shirt. Minton is game here for a beating and Bubba doles out a pretty decent one with a nice big boot, GREAT headbutt from the apron, couple big time slams, although he did look like he was yawning and sleepwalking his way through this. Minton has some really impressive leaping ability and I'm shocked WCW never tried to do more with him as it seems like they could have gotten SOME publicity out of it.

5. Rough & Ready (Enos and Slater) vs. Harlem Heat

I actually don't remember the Enos/Slater team at all. This match gets a lot of time, 11 minutes, and is pretty decent. But good lord Harlem Heat is just not very good at all. They've probably aged worse than anybody in this span. Stevie Ray is worse than you remember him, and yes I know how badly you remembered him. Enos and Slater actually make Stevie Ray offense look good and for that they get enormous credit. Enos throws a standing overhead belly-to-belly that dumps Booker right on his head. Ouch. Stevie Ray throws a clothesline to Slater's stomach that Slater has absolutely no clue how to sell. But overall this whole match works because most of it is awesome Enos/Slater control segments, with my favorite part being Enos cutting off a tag by running and stomping over Stevie on his way to knock Booker off the apron. To the shock of everybody, Booker wins this with a shitty looking kick.

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