Matches from WWE Worlds Collide 4/14/19 & 4/17/19

ER: I didn't even notice these shows when they happened. I was in NY for Mania weekend indy events, and didn't notice WWE was just running weird little shows around the city. This was out at the Brooklyn pier, and had several on paper matches that caught my eye. Now, zero things whatsoever caught my eye on the Worlds Collide event from a few weeks ago, so I'd much rather write about these matches from a year ago. Consider these much more palatable matches, and also consider how you can watch ALL of them in the time it would take you to watch the Gargano tag and the Adam Cole main event from the most recent Worlds Collide show. It's a no brainer decision.

4/14/19

Kassius Ohno vs. Aiden English

ER: It's a shame it came to this, but this was likely Aiden English's WWE in-ring career swansong. English was a favorite of mine in 2014 NXT and beyond, but pale skin and thinning hair likely wasn't going to play on the roster, although I would have been a big fan of them making him pull double duty as the nemesis of Sami Zayn and Cesaro. The ripped, bald, evil Sami Zayn! The pale Cesaro! Two built in feuds, gone. Before this match he hadn't wrestled on TV in almost 6 months, and hadn't worked a house in almost 3 (and I wouldn't hold my breath on ever getting to see one of his house show singles matches opposite Mysterio). If this match is English heading into retirement, so be it, and I'm glad we at least got to see him go up against Ohno. I would have liked something a little more substantial, something without such a go home finish, but I liked what we got. Ohno and English slug it out, and if you hadn't known English wasn't an active wrestler at this point, you wouldn't know it. He looks in incredible cosmetic shape, and as he was always a big bumper in NXT I was very happy when Ohno shoved him off the top and English crashed rough to the floor. English has a super lean, cut physique, and I think that made Ohno's submission work look even nastier. Ohno drove a knee into English's back and bent his arms behind, English's distended ribcage playing as a character in the match. As often happens, Ohno gets cocky and gets his leg caught, gets knocked to the floor, and laid out with a English tope con giro, then English nails a swanton back in the ring. This is where I wished the match had more to it, as a couple more twists, a couple more nearfalls, would have gone a long way towards landing this match on a list. But Ohno catches him napping with a (great) front kick, then unspools English into an elbow to the back of the head, banishing Aiden to 205 Live and PPV kickoff commentary.


Luke Harper vs. Dominik Dijakovic

ER: This wasn't far off from landing on the 2019 MOTY List, with really only several stupid as hell Dijakovic pinched faces and sneers keeping it away. I probably could have lobbied to have it on the list, but there's no way I could convince Phil that a Dijakovic match is worth watching, so it would have no chance making it out of Drafts. And how odd of WWE to bring Aiden English out of mothballs to work this show, and the very next match dust off Harper as well. Before this match he had been off TV for 8 months, came back and worked this singles and the pre-show WrestleMania battle royal, and then was off TV another 6 months. It's not too shocking he asked for his release a couple months back. But this was a pretty awesome big boy battle. It did veer too far into unnecessary cruiser action for my liking, but most of the big spots they integrated added to things. Yes, it is impressive when you guys move fast and fly, but all the parts before that when you were just hitting hard clubbing forearms shoulderblocks and big boots was already awesome. I usually think Dijakovic's strikes look lousy, but here he has no problem dropping the full weight of his arm across Harper's back, and dropping big elbows to the back of Harper's neck. Dijakovic throws a couple of really great suplexes, actually throwing Harper with vertical suplexes, literally throwing him instead of holding on. But Harper makes him pay dearly by spiking him with an awesome DDT, hits a big tope, hits some kind of powerslam/driver OFF the apron to the floor (really looked like he could have dumped Dijakovic on his head, camera didn't get all of it and that's probably best for the mystique), even dumps him with a half nelson suplex. By this point they'd already done more than enough for a full match, and I didn't love that Dijakovic's comeback came after some pretty gruesome offense. No doubt a space flying tiger drop is pretty grand for a guy his size, and his moonsault lands really well (considering wrestling is filled with actual juniors who can never land their moonsault well). Finish felt a little abrupt considering the crazy degrees we had ramped up to, but Harper finishing things with a huge discus lariat at least felt like a big man heavyweight way to end it. This felt like a big match, and I like the absurdity of guys killing themselves on a small show taped during Mania festivities. I could have done without a couple things here, but also got a ton of two big guys throwing boots at each other's faces, and that's plenty cool.


Roderick Strong vs. Tyler Breeze

ER: Cool match between two guys who are good 10 minute TV match workers. Tyler Breeze feels like he makes more sense in 1995 WWF. His gimmick, look, and wrestling style would all fit in there, and make him stand out more. But until time travel is both invented and made affordable to the masses, I will be fine with Breeze working fine modern TV matches. This was almost amusingly worked as young upstart Strong really dominating the "veteran" Breeze, obviously amusing because Strong is both several years older than Breeze AND I've been watching Strong for nearly 20 years. But Strong is a good guy to control a match, and I love the mix of over shoulder backbreakers and gourdbusters he used to slow Breeze, as well as his nice knees. Breeze works matches like these as a kind of Christian-cum-Waltman, getting most of his offense by using Strong's aggression against him: catching him under the chin with an upward angle dropkick off the ropes, hitting a slick armdrag off an Argentine stretch sub, or shifting momentum on a suplex to get a close nearfall small package. Breeze stands out with strong execution on small things, things that don't really get lauded and wouldn't have stood out on a go go go show like the new HBK NXT. But I appreciate someone who can actually mix up a stand and trade section by throwing in nice kicks to the stomach, someone with nice forearms, and a nice shoulder thrust to the stomach. Breeze is really good at fighting for nearfalls, not just making them seem like a small part of a larger/sillier reversal sequence. There was a really great crucifix pin that Strong fought against, and later a big suplex that Breeze reversed by kneeing Strong in the head, then got a schoolboy when Strong attempted it again. The finish was a little dry and felt like a "well it's over now, hit your finisher" kind of finish, and didn't really fit with the match they had crafted. But overall this was really good and a pairing I'm glad we got to see.


4/17/19

Brian Kendrick vs. Tyler Bate

ER: Kendrick worked less than 20 matches last year, and I believe this was the only one I hadn't seen. And I love these unsupervised Kendrick matches, where he works shtick and stalling and little moments that won't turn up on real WWE programming. Before the match they even showed a selfie Bate took with Kendrick 6 years prior while Kendrick was there on a European tour, and while I was hoping that would lead to Kendrick absolutely punishing him in a supreme show of "never meet your heroes", I very much liked what we got instead. Kendrick would stall on lock-ups, grab a headlock (one of the few guys on the roster who really knows how to work a headlock), roll to the floor to avoid contact, and then when finally caught and backed in a corner, he eyepoked his way right out of that jam. They do some cute bullshit around eyepokes, with Bate getting him back, Bate reversing one using Three Stooges tactics, etc. Goof around Kendrick is fun as he does that stuff with hints of violence, but I would have been a bigger fan of him continuing to utilize them without the comedy, leading to a bigger moment. But Kendrick works this like a small close indy show match, playing to kids in the crowd, and multiple times trying to get a USA chant to purposely muddy the waters and make people cheer his heeling. He was really great at getting up for all of Bate's offense, even when the "big strong boy" seemed light on the lift (the tiger driver finish looked entirely Kendrick). And damn if the Captains Hook isn't one of the sickest submissions in wrestling. I didn't love how Bate broke the hold just by being in the hold for awhile and then standing up out of it, but the application and the different ways Kendrick traps guys in it is always great, and here we got the added bonus of Kendrick calling him Boy (after the Big Strong Boy chanting).

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WWE Hell in a Cell 10/6/19, Not Live But Not Bad

Lacey Evans vs. Natalya

ER: Lacey's yellow outfit is fantastic, easily the best gear she's had. And this has become a feud that I have enjoyed far more than I ever thought I would. Tamina is probably the only woman on the roster I would want to see Natalya over, and Evans felt like someone who was a slightly better Eva Marie, but not only has Evans improved seemingly quite quickly, but their ring chemistry is genuinely really good. They have worked several matches this year, but I wasn't paying attention to them until one caught my eye on Raw a month ago. And this was definitely the best of their recent series, and what felt like a career making performance from Evans. Evans comes off really nasty, and has a ton of different attacks to the body and face. I'm not sure what it says about the state of WWE that Lacey Evans' strikes are top 5 in the company right now. She dropped some indy aspects of her offense and instead has focused on stomping limbs and throwing elbows to throats. I love how she stomps Natalya's arm just to get it out of the way, and when the action rolls to the apron she starts slamming her leg into the apron, kicking her in the knee, slamming her into the ring steps, and strangling her with the ring skirt. The moment Natalya rolled to the floor, Lacey met her on the floor with a straight kick right to the chest, and was still dropping those kicks later. Natalya seems to tighten things up opposite Lacey, her elbows hit more snug and she puts actual personality behind slaps, a bad actress that is suddenly able to look like she cannot stand Evans and wants to hit her hard. The finish is quick and satisfying, with Evans missing her really nice double jump moonsault and tapping quick to the Sharpshooter, then getting waylaid by one last Natalya elbow post match. I love the way they played up the personal elements of their ring feud, and wouldn't have guessed these two would have matched up so well. The best pre-show match this year. It's extra impressive to come out and have a nasty little match the crowd gets behind, on a card filled with gimmick matches.

Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Ever since Becky Lynch reached main event feud status, the singles matches that feel like they should be great with the build, haven't been great. Most have fallen short. I don't think I've actually been that into a Becky Lynch match all year, until this one. And even this one was mostly for the big time Sasha Banks performance, easily Sasha's best performance since the Ronda match earlier this year. Sasha had an awesome violent cage match performance, getting thrown painfully into the cage several times, flinging herself back on hard dropkicks and flying into it with big splatting bumps. Sasha built to her big garbage moments well, with the Meteora off the apron into Lynch/a ladder looking great (and impressive how she aimed her knees safely between ladder steps and also not into Lynch's face), and the one into the ring was a nice mid-match nearfall. Lynch doesn't always throw weapon shots with enough force, and some of her loaded chain punches and chairshots looked a little light. Luckily Sasha was there to violently throw herself into everything, with Lynch taking plenty of mean shots as well, including a big bump through a table. Sasha set up a chair, wedged into the cell, fairly early in the match, and I love how they paid that off late in the match with Sasha reversing an Irish whip to send Lynch face first into it. The violent escalation was handled really well, the spills looked good, and they actually opened the show with a superplex into a messy pile of chairs. Awesome.

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper/Erick Rowan

ER: This took a bit to get going, and it was weird how much they were overshadowed by the 4 ladies who wrestled before them. Reigns and Bryan in the same match should always be a big deal, but they found themselves with some surprisingly big shoes to fill. And this turned into a real good, exciting tag match, that was still somehow the weakest match on the card. Somehow, indeed. Things seemed a little jumbled at first but when they moved into the Bryan heat segment I was into it. Bryan is good at eating a beating, Rowan and Harper are fun to watch deliver one. They had some big spots to compete with in just the prior match, and I think they did a good job getting to them. The big ones, Bryan getting powerbombed through a table and Roman spearing Rowan through the other announce table, looked great and got their own reactions. But there were other big spots like Harper hitting Roman with a tope and nearly smashing his face in the edge of a table. The second half of this really brought the heat, and it would be a shame if they matched these teams up a couple more times to see if they have a full classic in them. This could have possibly stood out more on a weaker show, but this match overall delivered.

Randy Orton vs. Ali

ER: See, this is turning out to be another no buzz underbooked WWE PPV that ends up delivering big fun. This is a match I would probably fast forward through on Raw, but I gave it a shot and liked what they did with the time. It played as a nice gimmick free palate cleanser after the two openers, just  solid simple ring work with a no fuss finish. I'm sure people could be upset that Ali didn't go over, as Orton isn't a guy who needs wins and Ali sure could use one. But as a match in a vacuum (which is all I really care about if it's guys I'm not super interested in) it was good. Ali took big bumps and Orton came off like a dick. I like when Orton uses unnecessary stuff like eyepokes, things he clearly doesn't need to do to win. Ali took big bumps, Orton knocked him off of high places, this was fun.

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Asuka/Kairi Sane

ER: Asuka has been majorly lost in the shuffle ever since the winning streak stopped, but the crowd is still clearly into her and I'm glad. And this match continues the good vibes of this show. I LOVE when they go out and actually work to exceed expectations. The whole roster has felt really energized tonight and maybe that's even a happy byproduct of the new competition. Asuka came off as fresh as she's looked all year, totally dominant in all her moments and instantly tapping back into her unique charisma that has just been absent from TV. Bliss was great on the apron, really one of the best apron workers in WWE (which is a cool, undertalked about skill), and Cross was really good at running headlong into the Warriors offense. Sane throwing a full body weight elbow drop right into the feet of Cross was an awesome moment, and I was way into Asuka cutting everyone off with kicks throughout. This was real fun, and I hope it leads to more Kabuki Warriors on TV, freshen up some match-ups.

AJ Styles/Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows vs. Viking Raiders/Braun Strowman

ER: I thought this continued the streak of really great to really fun matches on this card, even with an impossibly uninspired finish. A match that just ends because another team got disqualified for unfairly kicking ass is never going to be an interesting finish. Unless you go so extreme with the one sided beatdown that it builds to a blood feud. But this just ends because of stomping, and that's pretty lame. But the rest was good! Vikings are both going to bring fun hoss moments, Styles took a bigass backdrop bump and then got leveled some more during Braun's great hot tag, Gallows brought nice uppercuts, this was a perfectly fun six man. It felt a little more TV match than PPV match, but the action was good nonetheless.

Baron Corbin vs. Chad Gable

ER: I love how the consensus opinions are turning on Corbin. He's still divisive but you can see more and more people getting into his specific brand of annoyance, because his brand is pretty undeniable at this point. He's the only guy on the roster really allowed to work this slow methodical actively trying to piss off the crowd style, and it's fun. And I really liked this one, thought they effectively laid this out for Gable to take a big bumping beating and still able to come back in the second half and start plausibly hitting some big things. Corbin was slow but explosive on control, and Gable would fly hard into his stuff. The slide in running clothesline hit big (and nicely set up an important moment in the closing stretch), and Gable was taking hard bumps for everything including a nasty rolling tumble into the ringpost. But Gable's comeback was fun as hell, and he really seems like someone who the crowd has been wanting to get behind. The "Shortly Gable" stuff on commentary comes off pretty lame, but if they actually let him go in there and kick ass like this then it won't matter. I dug him flying into Corbin, countering the sliding lariat, nailing the cannonball, hitting a big crossbody, and nailing the Chaos Theory. There was nothing screwy at all about the finish, and it made Gable come off like a cool threat. Corbin is deceptively large (he looked like he towered over the Rock on Smackdown) but he's good with working smaller guys and making them seem credible. Both guys could come out of this feud looking great.

Bayley vs. Charlotte

ER: Gotta say the first thing that impressed me with this match was how vocal the crowd still was. They were loudly Wooing along with all of Charlotte's chops, and that's a testament to this being a hot show. It's impressive that we're 7 or 8 matches in and the crowd hasn't burnt out. The good stuff has been constant, the Great stuff has been peppered in, and it's had a great vibe that's held interest the whole night. Even as the match was feeling a little slow or a little too dry, the crowd was right there breaking out the loudest chant of the night, people loudly split between Charlotte and Bayley. This was the weakest match of the night, but the crowd was still hot for it, and that's cool. It felt a little too basic, felt too anticlimactic, and felt like a match that Charlotte definitely should not have won. Sasha lost in nasty fashion earlier, and then Bayley kind of just goes down easy like this was Charlotte vs. Dana Brooke in the last hour of Raw. That seems kind of dumb. Charlotte worked a basic attack the knee story, and that looked good, and it logically lead to her winning with the figure 8. But I wanted a more interesting journey on the way to the destination.

Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt

ER: So, I don't care enough about either guy to waste much energy going off on how bad this was and how stupid the booking was. I was at least curious to see where the whole Fiend thing was going to go, but goddamn am I just tired of seeing Seth Rollins matches. The dude stinks. I have skipped several of his main events on nights I wasn't digging the PPV, but I was so into the rest of this show that my mood was strong and I wanted to see if we could implausibly knock it out of the park. Obviously, they didn't fully, because this match blew. Bray losing dumb, Rollins matches bad, the end.


ER: The last match sucked in ways that people are loudly and justifiably complaining about. It is fair. But since I really don't care in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't affect how much I enjoyed this show. This was one of the most fun overall shows of the year for WWE, and if only 85% of it is good then I don't honestly care that the lame 15% came in the last 15%. The rest of the card kicked ass, with Evans/Natalya being my favorite pre-show match of the year, Sasha delivering her best performance of the year, and Gable/Corbin being a great non-gimmick match. This was a blast of a show, even if I do wish Seth Rollins was not a thing.

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WWE Backlash 2017, One Day Removed from Live Blog

1. Aiden English vs. Tye Dillinger

ER: I'm happy to see English doing his theatrical singing again, his whole act and in-ring was one of my favorite things about 2014 NXT. Dillinger's giant collared vest looks like something one of the women might wear for a PPV title match, cosplaying the Evil Queen. Whereas English has some amazing Van Gogh Starry Night tights, which is probably just the second instance of fine art being used on tights, after Rick Rude used Renoir's A Portrait of Cheryl Roberts. And I really dug this match until the exchange of bad looking finishers. The opening go behind stuff was really good, loved English yanking Dillinger's arm and shoulder into the top rope. After spending his whole intro song running down Chicago, I appreciate English yelling "This is my town!!" before whiffing a punch. Dillinger has a bad flying forearm but some shockingly nice corner 10 punches. If your gimmick is the whole "10" thing, you may as well perfect the move most associated with a 10 count. English hits a silly flipping neckbreaker and then starts breaking down afterwards, with JBL saying English is a true method actor, who can turn the tears on and off on command. Obviously JBL has no clue what method acting is. If English was a method actor they would have needed 27 takes on him crying, broken up by a 45 minute call to his Stella Adler-trained acting coach (or, someone who talked to someone at a party once, who they thought was Stella Adler). Dillinger's finisher is terrible.

2. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: This wasn't really the match I was expecting them to work, but it was probably better than the match I was expecting. Ziggler actually works like a heel and it's not just a Nakamura showcase. He does get to through a bunch of knees, and instead of working a counter-heavy style they work a lot of spots where Ziggler is almost as quick to the shot, Nakamura's shot was just stronger. I never once put it past WWE to have Nak lose his debut main brand match, so the Ziggler near falls resonated huge with me. Did I really think a Zig Zag would end the match? Not totally, but again, it didn't seem unbelievable. I liked Ziggler using actual amateur things here and there, like his desperation single leg that saw Nak sprawl. I don't think people know quite what to make of Nakamura's facial selling, but I imagine it catching on big. When someone takes a superkick to the back of the head, I just don't think most are expecting someone's eyes to cross and body to curl up like they just got pogo'd by Scrooge McDuck. But this was good, thought the nearfalls worked, all the big knee strikes looked good, nice match.

3. Breezango vs. Usos

ER: Anybody griping about the brand extension can just stop. I get to see Tyler Breeze in an actual PPV title match, and no way was that ever happening pre-extension. Here he's undercover bossing as a janitor, and I for one hope he mops the floor with the Usos (*soundbite*)! And if the Nak/Ziggler match was not what I expected, then this match really was not what I expected. WWE likes to keep their bad comedy to the backstage skits, rarely working actual outright comedy matches. Indy wrestling is lousy with comedy matches, WWE pretty much just had Santino and Michael Cole overlaughing at jokes (although Santino was still getting fairly regular laughs out of me through his tenure). Not all of this comedy works, but getting over with comedy is pretty much the only chance Breezango has, and it certainly seemed like it was working. Breeze still brings painful looking bumps, and the fans seemed to buy his nearfall. His turnbuckle head tuck/superkick spot on the Usos is one of the only times I've seen that spot almost work, as he held onto the tucked head until the other one threw the kick, and the kick looked like it was aimed at Breeze. The spot with the Usos catching a Breeze dive and tossing him into the barrier was killer, with Breeze almost crushing a couple kids. Fun match.

4. Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin

ER: This match should have worked better for me, but there was something that didn't click. I think it might have been because Sami was the underdog babyface working an injury, but the match was worked with Corbin almost always fighting to come back. The announcers acted like Sami was the one fighting back, and Sami's body language acted that way, but it felt like Sami controlled 70% of this match. If he wasn't actively doing a move, he was reversing a move. So it took a genuinely impressive selling performance from Zayn, never overdone in an ohhhhhhh my baaaaaaaack kind of way, but more in the way I get up in the morning and carefully pick up a pair of socks from the floor. For all his well played back clutching, Zayn somehow just never seemed that much in danger. He would pull off a move with a bad back, but then when Corbin would counter with a slam it would get rolled up. I dunno. I thought it made Zayn look strong, but the layout didn't work for me.

5. Carmella, Tamina & Natalya vs. Becky Lynch, Charlotte & Naomi

ER: Tamina has been on the main roster for SEVEN YEARS. I'm sure I'm missing some people, but is there anybody else you can think of who's been around for 7 years and still gets a "new phone who dis?" reaction every time she comes out? Now with her new gear she just looks like a less stacked Nia Jax, like when a curvy girl loses weight but it all gets lost from weird areas. Tamina is actually wearing a more slim fit version of Viscera's old gear. That's what it is. Tamina - after seven years - still doesn't seem like she totally knows how to walk through ring ropes. Carmella yanking Lynch off the apron was a great spot, Natalya doing a stomach kick 2' away from Naomi, less so (Natalya has looked really, really awful in-ring the last couple months). My my what a poor match. It wasted so much time getting to the finish, only for the finish to feel incredibly rushed. Lynch was hardly in the match but was apparently completely worn down in seconds by Natalya's sub. Carmella was the only one who came out of this looking any better, and they've already established that Carmella has no chance of going anywhere (which is a shame, as I think they rushed her debut so badly that it ruined what could have been with her).

6. AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

ER: Really, really good match with a couple of incredibly satisfying spots based around an injury. Styles' knee buckling on the springboard and the finish where his leg gets dropped through a vacant announce table monitor hole while setting up a Clash, were awesome, well played moments. Normally a count out finish would be a major let down, but I thought the set up throughout the match for something like this was so good that it totally worked for me. Owens smothered him nice to start, locking on snug headlocks and trying to ground Styles, and once Styles started to break out I like Owens immediately going for the fat attacks (the big senton, the bigger cannonball, and then the awesome cannonball with AJ's leg prone). The knee gets played up nicely the whole match, the announcers say really bizarre things during AJ's comebacks ("Pele kick to the face of America!" What the fuck!?), they do a couple pretty lunatic spots (that driver off the top and that apron suplex), but all that knee stuff kept this nicely grounded in meaningful reality. Clever finishes sometimes get way too clever for anybody's good, but this finish worked. Awesome stuff.

7. Luke Harper vs. Erick Rowan

ER: I should have been flipping out for this one, but maybe this whole feud just feels way too late. Harper felt like he could have broken out over a year ago, and here he is. Both guys do stuff I like, and Harper is still my boy, that back elbow out on the floor was sick...but this just felt so low stakes. This felt like a Smackdown match that gets cut away from.

8. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

ER: Well I ended up loving this one more than I thought was possible. Fewer things move my needle less than "Randy Orton main event title match", but I was sold on this match from before the bell. Orton jumps Jinder and knocks him to the floor, and Jinder takes a couple nasty bumps over the table and into the announcer chairs, and the match hasn't even officially started. And once it does it becomes somewhat clear that Jinder doesn't have great offense, but that's okay! We can work around those things. I'll give more credit for trying a nice kneedrop to the chest and not really succeeding, than trying some kind of convoluted offense. Jinder works over Orton's shoulder in engaging-enough ways, and Orton mostly commits to selling it. Things naturally pick up once the Bollywood Boys start running interference, and both of them take insanely stupid bumps on the announcers table, especially Gurv. Orton makes a long and unmistakable "ohhhhhhh shittttttt" face after he watches himself dump Gurv on his head, but he's over it by the time he's DDTing both of them. And then, Jinder improbably gets the win! I have no takes on Jinder, don't care about any of the outrages surrounding him. It's a bold move to immediately push a guy so brazenly on the gas, yes. Wrestlers are on gear. It's a thing. We know that. And Mahal doesn't seem like a great wrestler, but it's a new face in the mix, AND he at minimum knew how to work as an intense heel. That can go a long way. Orton was weirdly motivated here (which he has not been in a year), and I say they just go all the way and work a juice angle. Because right now Jinder has one of those gross 1999 WCW power plant juice bods (though truthfully needs more bloat and HGH belly), like someone who just found a stash of 20 year old anabolics and is now a title winning superstar. Make that his gimmick. Instead of Homer finding a can of Billy Beer in his fringe jacket, Jinder finds a bunch of expired juice in some BodyPUMP gear he picks up at Salvation Army. I hate giving away money like this.

Good show, wasn't expecting much of anything from the listed card. Women's tag was the only outright bad thing on the card, and that match was pretty meaningless in the grand scheme. The card was worth watching a day later, pleased with my decision.

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Reigns vs. Braun: A Match History, Part II

5. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt/Erick Rowan vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins (Raw 10/19/15)

ER: If I had to choose one word to describe this match, I would choose "sluggish". It was 10 minutes, but really draggggged. This continues the trend of Braun hardly getting involved in matches, as he did nothing in the match for the first 8 minutes, and by the end did no actual moves. He pulled Roman down off the apron, threw Ambrose to the floor, then got Roman into a choke. I really liked how he looked before this, so I'm unsure why they suddenly had him stop working. This was mostly Ambrose working Bray, playing FIP, leading to Rollins leaving with a fake knee injury. Dean was on fire the first minute of this, but just a few minutes in was already airmailing punches a foot past Rowan's head. When Bray locking on a grounded side headlock is the most interesting part of the match, you just move on with your life, admitting to yourself and your family that you chose the dumbest fucking hobby.

6. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose (WWE House Show 10/31/15)

ER: Really fun No DQ house show match. There's tons of loud kids in attendance which makes house shows the best (really the only life situation that loud excitable kids add to my enjoyment of something), just tons of kids screaming for Reigns and yelling at Wyatt. At one point Ambrose gets put through a table and then gets caught with sister Abigail off the rebound lariat. Reigns leaps in from the floor to save him at the last second, and one kid - not trying to start any kind of chant - just screams out "THIS IS AWESOME!!!" And it was pretty awesome. Braun worked slow methodical monster in this one, with some nice moments like standing on Ambrose's knee and ankle while soaking in the boos, then stomping on it. Bray introduced chairs and a kendo stick, all of which got used by everyone. Roman had a bunch of fun superman punches including a great one saving Dean from another sister Abigail. The whole match built to Braun getting speared through a table, which feels like a big spot on a house show. But this whole thing was fun, definitely sent people home happy.

7. 16 Man Elimination Tag: Braun/Wyatt/Harper/Rowan vs. Reigns/Ambrose/Usos vs. Rhyno/Dudleys/Dreamer vs. Sheamus/Rusev/Barrett/Del Rio (Raw 12/7/15)

ER: What kind of a weird mess of a match is this!? Tommy Dreamer was in WWE a year ago? They were actually collectively called Team ECW?! This is such a weird match. It was the opening segment on Raw, and starting Raw with a match is weird enough, but starting it with some sort of 1997 Gang Warz elimination match is even weirder. And then The Wyatts are the first team eliminated when Dreamer pins Rowan with a DDT. But this thing is a total cluster, a kind of fun cluster, but a total cluster. A member for each team is in the ring at all times, so there's bodies just constantly getting in the way of each other. Del Rio is oddly spirited in this, stiffing up Team ECW with these cool low yakuza kicks (like a yakuza kick, but thrown to a seated opponent) and taking a couple big bumps. Rusev sells way too much for everybody, the Dudleys do a bunch of old bad spots (I like when Bubba is unprofessionally stiffing people, not so much his "working a minor league baseball stadium" style), Usos work stiff as well with some nasty uppercuts, Reigns has a fun/silly segment where he does a superman punch to three different guys on the apron. Not all at once, but Wade Barrett would get on the apron, and get punched, then ADR would climb up on a different side of the ring, and get punched, and so on and so on. This match had over half a Royal Rumble worth of dudes, and it happened, because.

8. Braun/Wyatt/Harper/Rowan/Sheamus/Rusev/Barrett/Del Rio vs. Reigns/Ambrose/Ryback/Usos/Dudleys/Kane (Tribute to the Troops 12/8/15)

ER: A much, much, much better version of the 16 man match from the day before. We drop the elimination stip, make it 8 on 8, Kane and Ryback replace Dreamer and Rhyno, and everybody works pointlessly stiff for the least watched WWE TV special of the year. This isn't really a Roman/Braun show, as they only have one moment together (Roman superman punching him while he gets Kane in his standing side triangle) but it's a hot 10 minutes. Harper was a standout here, throwing beastly palm strikes and ambushing Ambrose with a great superkick, Kane throws his nice uppercuts and gets out of the way, Ryback is dressed like the most gassed Bushwhacker, I don't remember any moment where any League of Nation member is in the ring, and out of everybody that could have taken the pin, Luke Harper takes it. Also, the Dudleys are still around, and take up time in 2015 doing the Wazzup drop, and it occurs to me that at this point there are thousands of fans who have never see any of the Wazzup commercials, and only know this as a thing that the Dudleys do. The reference is so old, it has now become their own. It would be like a team in 2000 doing a Where's the Beef double team flapjack, with a crowd of children screaming Whhhheeerrrrreee's (as the guy went up for the flapjack) THE BEEF (when he hit the mat). It would be like someone considering retiring their Austin Powers catchphrase-based offense in 2012, but then taking it out for another spin. Though I do look forward to someone doing a Borat "My wiiiiiife" bronco buster in 2022.

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Reigns vs. Braun: A Match History, Part 1

I've really been loving all of the Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman feud, and am really excited for their upcoming match at Payback. I thought it might be a fun idea to go back and look at all the times these two crossed paths, leading up to the Payback match (which is sadly happening in the bay area, on a weekend I'll be visiting my sister in Phoenix).


1. Braun Strowman/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Chris Jericho (Night of Champions 9/20/15)

ER: Some rando in a flak jacket jumps into the ring right when they're about to announce the mystery opponent (Jericho), Bray was really great with a "Is that your guy!?" reaction to the babyfaces. Dean was trying to hold back laughter and that's probably not what they wanted, but I'm amused. Michael Cole is in full desperation "What a moment!" selling Jericho's participation. JBL mentions Jericho working for "Riki Tenryu" as a junior heavyweight. Announce crew killing it. Match itself was plenty of fun. I had never seen Strowman before and he was a kick. I'm kind of a sucker for big lugs and this guy is pretty mammoth. Really impressed me standing next to Harper. That is a two man team I wouldn't mind seeing more of. I loved Strowman's finisher as it really looked like he was squeezing the life out of Jericho. Jericho's legs dangling was a great visual, like fucking Darth Vader choking out a dude. Luke Harper is so damn good, he really should have been given the ball. These teams work together nicely and it always just serves to piss me off that they broke up both teams as we could still be in the middle of awesome trios, with some new members being added or cycled out.

2. Braun Strowman/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose (Raw 10/5/15)

ER: A match that could have been much better, but was plagued by some sloppy performances (Orton in particular), some guys getting in the way (more guys altering their "run path" than normal), but a really terrific early Braun performance. Braun is definitely the best thing about this, as the faces regularly team up on him to try to take him off his feet. There's a fun early sequence where Orton dropkicks him, then Reigns/Ambrose do a double shoulderblock to knock him through the ropes to the floor. Later, as the match is breaking down, he eats a dive from Dean, then a superman punch, then Ambrose leaps onto his back from the apron; Braun stands up with Dean on his back, then runs him over the rail and into the timekeeper's area. Ambrose took some big bumps off lariats throughout, there were some nice cut off spots (really liked Reigns setting up the spear but getting punched in the back of the head by Bray), Braun also takes a great post bump, Harper times a superkick *perfectly* on Reigns, and the match ended up being really "house show" fun.

3. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Randy Orton (Smackdown 10/6/15, Aired 10/8/15)

ER: A continuation of the "how do you even take Braun off his feet!?" story. Orton and Bray match up nicely but briefly, with Bray stiffing the hell out of him while Orton is draped on the ring apron, blistering his back with a clubbing shot and hitting a yakuza kick to the temple. Orton basically disappears from the match after that, as we get an extended run of Braun/Roman. Roman hits a bunch of lariats to try to knock him down, then goes for a samoan drop which Braun escapes from with a heavy back elbow. Roman manages to kind of trap Braun in the ropes, and begins wailing on him, hits a great kick to the chest and then hits the superman punch to knock Braun to the floor, and Roman follows by attacking Bray and hitting the drive by on Braun. Bray ends things quickly by lobbing a chair at Roman, getting the DQ. Not actually sure where Orton went as everybody just forgot about him, but this was more fun.

4. Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns (Raw 10/12/15)

ER: Watching all of these back to back really highlights how often JBL talks about Bill Kazmaier and Jeep Swenson when talking about Braun, and how he always acts like he's coming up with those names on the spot. "The more I think about it, the more Braun reminds me of Jeep Swenson...except I don't think Swenson had the athleticism of Strowman," JBL says for the 4th Braun match in a row. It's like a decade ago when I was chapter skipping through the Lesnar DVD and realized every Brock entrance started with Tazz going "Well...Here comes the pain!" in the exact same way. And this match didn't not work, but it didn't totally work. They repeat a lot of stuff from their prior week Smackdown tag showdown, and there were a couple clunky spots in the middle of really great spots. It's weird as in his Night of Champions match, and that Raw trios up above, Braun does a lot of offense, but in these last two matches he's basically in the Giant Gonzalez or Zeus role of taking all offense, and just staggering around in place without going down. And Braun isn't really great at staggering around, he's way better at explosive short burst offense. Braun does lock on a nice cravate (that kind of kills the crowd for a bit), and the ending is great with him taking a huge backwards bump over the announce table, spilling nastily to the floor and getting counted out. The bump was really wild and pretty unexpected, but the match weirdly felt like a step back.


We'll get to Parts 2 and 3 before Payback on 4/30!

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2017 Ongoing MOTY List: Wyatt v. Harper House Show

3. Bray Wyatt v. Luke Harper WWE 2/6

PAS: This is exactly what you want a house show match between these guys to be. Pretty much all action, big shots back and forth some nice bumps. Really entertaining. Harper is so much fun, he takes a big bump to the floor, throws some great looking uppercut and keeps the action moving. I really think the move to Smackdown has reenergized Wyatt, as he has had more energy in recent weeks. This was a pair of heavyweigth guys moving with juniors energy.  I assume that both guys are tuning on Orton and rejoing forces, so this might be the only match between the two that shows up.

ER: Man I miss going to house shows. House shows are always the best. And Phil is right that Wyatt, be it the move to Smackdown or what, is more energized now than at any time over the last 18 months. He was really fun here, finding neat ways to fall and sell, and throwing big bombs when needed. His uppercuts were on but even moreso were his overhand rights. Check that one he throws on Harper as Harper climbs the buckles, that's pretty damn impressive to rear back like that, throw a fast punch, and still make it look good. I  liked his selling for Harper, especially on this one superkick where Wyatt bent at the waist, threw a leg out to stabilize himself, and eventually faceplanted. Wyatt hits a couple big sentons, crazy fast cross block, even turns the crab walk into an almost Lawler strap spot. Harper has major singles star appeal and the crowd was mighty hot for this, Harper fed into it with a big rope flip senton (not quite Dick Togo's but I appreciate the big man effort), big bump to the floor, fun tease of hitting his own Sister Abigail, and a nice roll up reversal of Bray's SA. I'm happy this turned up. These 10 minute quick paced house show matches are like a satisfying sandwich.


2017 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Live Blog

1. Curt Hawkins vs. Mojo Rawley

This was a surprisingly nicely structured opener between two of the most pointless guys on the roster. It had the feeling of a dark match where two guys were given a chance to do their thing, and it benefitted from that. These two have had minimal run-ins, no angle to speak of, and Hawkins was dead on arrival a few months ago. So they get 8 minutes to do their unadorned thing. This was the last sketch of the night on SNL, the last match of a SNME card, something with no expectations and minimal chance. And they benefit from all of that! Mojo looks leaner than usual, and moves quicker than I've seen him. Hawkins doesn't bring a whole lot to this, evading Mojo for the first couple, but once Mojo gets his hands on him things get fun. Mojo breaks out a big lariat, killer fireman's carry flapjack, and huge running forearm to the corner. Hawkins takes the abuse and picks his shots nicely, and this is the kind of match you hope fleshes out a good house show. A match you wouldn't have even noticed on paper, but keeps the good times going so the live show doesn't lag. Good work guys.

2. Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

Was hoping James would have ditched the bell bottoms by now. That could really use an update. And I wasn't expecting this to get 12 minutes. But their must be something in my coffee tonight as I liked this match too. This is feeling like a really great house show so far, which is awesome. Becky talks about becoming the Arm Break Kid and so Mickie comes out and goes after that fucking arm. Crowd is cold and that's a shame as Mickie attacks the arm in cool ways, wrapping it grossly around ropes, and best of all wraps it around her legs and jumps to the mat. I loved the arm work, and she got a lot of time to show it off. James even has some really great mounted punches, which are the most difficult punches to throw. I don't remember her having great punches. Becky sells the arm nicely...except every single time she goes on offense, which is really annoying. I don't need her to do every move one-armed or anything, but at least acknowledge that you arm has gotten kicked in the last 10 minutes. But Becky is a good underdog in this, even takes a sick DDT on the side of her head. James looked kind of tired by the end, but unintentionally or not I dug it, as it makes sense for the returning veteran to have lost a step. Match ending could have used a bit more as the ending as is was lazy and somewhat unearned, but this was a satisfying 12 minutes, worked in a style that was a pleasant surprise.

3. Apollo Crews & Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

When I saw this handicapped match listed, I thought it was a pretty dumb idea considering the participants. So I loved when Ziggler just jumped Kalisto during his entrance and took him out of the match. Dolph should be using smarts to win this stacked match at all odds, and that was the most logical start. Crews, Hawkins and Rawley are pretty low on the totem to be getting onto PPV, but I kind of love that it's a thing. Again, feels like a really fun house show. Might not be the best business plan, but I don't care at all about what benefits them. Ziggler as a cocky athletic asskicker is soooo much better as cocky babyface who bumps. And Ziggler was good, yanking on a nasty horizontal side headlock, grounding Crews and gassing him out by choking off his air supply. Crews showed a side I haven't really seen as I thought his selling was really engaging. I thought his exhaustion felt authentic, and Ziggler's smirks to the crowd and not just the camera while he picked apart Crews was great. The opening match jumping did its job, as off camera as Kalisto got to his feet the crowd noise started to swell. Ziggler did all Kalisto's sympathy build for him, as Kalisto got to lie around for 6 minutes and all his heat was built up for him. Nice idea. Crews gets an all time great enziguiri with his last gasp of strength, and Kalisto tags in for a springboard dropkick and a nice enziguiri of his own. Crews makes a blind tag and I love how he actually acknowledge the beating he took, not rushing in right away and instead grimacing hard as he forced himself through the ropes, then uses whatever restored strength he had to plant Ziggler with a killer high angle tossed powerbomb. This was another good one, and Ziggler pays him back by destroying Crews with a chair afterwards. Well done by all, a heel performance that Ziggler needed, and the first time I've actually "seen something" in Crews, beyond "athletic black man" spots.

4. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. Breezango

I wish Breeze had gotten a better shake on the active roster. He is/was a favorite of mine in NXT, but some guys play the big stage, some need to fill out the small stage. Slater is a feel good story and an easy guy to get behind, and Rhyno is great at apron work. Fandango doesn't have tons to do so he makes up his time by hamming it up while not falling right away on a sunset flip, and tossing tons of fashion citations onto Slater. Slater throws a nice high kick and great Memphis overhand right to the forehead, and Breeze bumps properly around on for Slater's comeback. Could have been more, but we have 14 tag teams to get through.

5. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. The Vaudevillains

Aiden English, like Tyler Breeze, was one of my favorite things in NXT. In other words, nobody in a position of authority should trust my taste in professional wrestling, and how it relates to making money. This is sadly short, but English got some nice moments, hitting a boss knee drop and taking Slater's match ending DDT incredibly. Slater lifted him into the air to deliver it, and English kicked his legs in a panic while falling. Gotch didn't manage to murder anyone during his brief time in, and I actually liked his little kick combo and rolling fireman's carry.

6. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. The Usos

Okay each match has been shorter than the last. Hate where this is going. Jey hits an amazing pop-up Samoan drop, and the superkick finish made sense, but this was a steamrolling.

7. The Usos vs. American Alpha

Usos are getting easier to tell apart, now that Jimmy is chubbier. Usos get dumped with double Germans but from then on it's all Usos and they're pretty vicious taking Gable apart. The superkick to Gable's ribs while he was being held prone was nasty. Gable is a good underdog and the Usos as heels have been sadly wasted but good whenever given the chance. But I had a feeling the Usos aren't advancing here. Jordan's hot tag was good, one of his more fiery ones. But the ending felt too rushed and predictable. These teams are capable of having a great match, I'm sure of it, and we've gotten glimpses and teases and one really good TV bout, but damn they need to just given them 17 minutes and say "GO!"

8. American Alpha vs. The Ascension

The best thing about this was the best part, with Ascension hitting the Fall of Man with a spinning back elbow instead of a kick, and I liked the idea of a flash upset. But the rest of this didn't do much for me. After that opening flurry didn't work, the Ascension had no chance of winning the belts. Having them as the last team sucked out any kind of drama. Clearly AA was getting the belts. Crowd would have deflated had Ascension won after a long, hard fought contest. No way they would do that. It only would have worked if it happened 10 seconds in. After that they were just waiting around to die. This whole gauntlet was overall disappointing, as we all expected it would be.

9. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

This is pretty dull for a grudge match. It's possible Natalya was grinding down Nikki with boring holds on purpose, to tease her for not being as good a wrestler, but Natalya doesn't do "subtle", so if she was trying to get that story across we would have heard a lot of "You're not stronger than me, Nikki! I'm a better wrestler than you!!" Since we did not, I have to imagine she was not. Nikki hits hard on her comeback, Natalya takes a nasty landing while delivering a superplex, and good lord Nikki genuinely looks like she's choking the life out of Natalya on BOTH STFs she does. The second one was especially gross as Natalya's tongue starts sticking out and her eyes get wide. Either Nikki delivers the best looking headlocks in the company, or she is just strangling people while Natalya is suddenly a great seller. Either way, the match finish blew, but the match was totally worth it for them chokes.

10. Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

I do not like this nearly as much as the recent Wyatt/Harper house show singles match (review coming tomorrow!!), and I guess that had a better built in story. But it was also worked bigger, and was the match we were hoping it looked like on paper. Here Orton overpowers Harper to start, which is stupid. He just muscles Harper around and beats him up. Harper's the dude who should be overpowering EVERYone around. I like that he can sell, but this should have been Orton scrambling for his ass.That Harper/Wyatt match went barely 10 minutes, started big, caught its breath in the middle, and ended big. This has been 13 minutes of methodical. Admittedly, all that build made Harper's epic superkick feel that much more epic. I loathe when Orton pounds his fists on the mat, it looks so stupid. So I loved Harper blasting him with a superkick right when he stops Vipering or whatever the fuck that is. Vipers don't have fists. Gawd. But that kick was a lifesaver, and I thought for sure the follow up kick was getting the big win. AND THE CROWD GETS BEHIND HARPER!!! And fucccccccck they didn't let him kick out of the RKO. I'm telling you, if Harper kicks out of that motherfucker, we have a new babyface superstar. How killer and unexpected would that be? Harper shocking Orton by kicking out of the RKO and going on to win; Orton flips out and puts up his WM title shot if Harper will face him again; Harper wins the title shot and goes on to be featured in a singles match at WM; Wyatt tries to bring him back as a follower mid-match, and Harper gets one final moment against Bray, turning on him officially in front of the biggest live crowd of the year. He commits, and the fans get committed in his commitment. He wins the title from whomever has it (Cena?) and Harper is the new bearded World Champion babyface superstar and former tag team partner of Necro Butcher.

Is that so fucking difficult??

11. Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

I love Alexa's cartoon villain facials. David Otunga sounds like a black Brett Gelman. But yes, Alexa Bliss cartoon facials. I especially like her snarl. Or when the ref admonishes her and she snaps "I know!" That kind of work goes a long way. Naomi is a good face with a great look, but sometimes she can get a little lost. The kick combos can get a little complicated, but her energy is good. Bliss did her a lot of favors in this, really flying into her stuff. The best is Alexa running fast into the rear view. I love the rear view as a part of Naomi's offense, but I don't always love the Irish whip set up. So Alexa running into it is the best. Alex comes back but then misses a great twisting body press into knees, real nasty. Then Naomi hits her own monsault, with her knees whipping right into Alexa's stomach. Yeesh that hurts. And I was NOT expecting a win for Naomi, that's kind of awesome. I think this is her first, and why not? They're switching the titles a lot, but I like that this makes it seem like ANY of these women can win the title on any given night.

Chamber hype video was AWESOME. They get older Chamber workers to come back and talk about what they loved and hated about it, they show a lot of grisly black and white footage of Chamber bumps, all good stuff. I'm hyped.

12. Elimination Chamber: Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin vs. The Miz vs. Bray Wyatt vs. AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Styles is GOD in this match so far. He has been bumping like wild for everything. Cena roughed him around, then Ambrose clotheslined him over the ropes, powerbombed him on the side plank, and then crashed into him with an awesome clothesline off the top of a pod. Cena hits a German on both of them at the same time, and Bray Wyatt comes in just as things are really getting good. And he feeds off that energy. Wyatt hits his crazy high/fast cross block, then gets knocked to the side plank by AJ and takes a wicked post shot. Moves look so damn unforgiving on these side panels. Cena and Styles do some of the best "fighting on top of a cage" that you've seen, and Cena takes the death plunge. Then Ambrose and Styles take turns seeing who can bank the others' head off a pod panel, and this is reminding me why I love the Elimination Chamber gimmick so much. Suplex powerbomb spots suck ass, look dangerous and never look "worth it", so that can get the hell out of my chamber match. Corbin comes in, and I finally notice how fucking lame it is to where a "lone wolf" t shirt when you're called the Lone Wolf. Like, Disco Stu don't advertise. Everybody is taking such full force bumps into the chain link parts, it's reading really well in HD. The structure seems unflinching so every bump into any part of it is coming off dangerous. And Ambrose gets plastered through a pod after eliminating Corbin, makes it look amazing. Miz wisely hides in his pod, knowing he will get his skin ripped off by Corbin if he reveals himself. Cena has some ridiculous strength and I'm glad his body allows him to display it sometimes, because him rolling through a Miz crossbody to stand up - holding a 225 lb. man! - to lift him to a fireman's carry, and THEN AA him?? That's epic as hell. AJ has the makings of a legendary Chamber performer. Rey Mysterio is the obvious king of the Chamber match. He invented these things. But AJ gets it. Some day when Rey comes back for a superstar glory tour, these two need to cross paths in a Chamber. Wyatt gets to pin Cena, which is and should be big, and Styles and the newly energized Wyatt are the finalists for the belt. And both guys sprint to the finish. AJ Styles hits his sliding elbow, and then a bonkers springboard 450. Holy cow. Styles toss out a strike combo and Wyatt spins into a huge lariat. Styles is great at taking lariats. And Styles gets caught going for his flying forearm, as Bray snags him and plants him with Sister Abigail. Super match, loved the order of entrants and the stories that unfolded. This is doing the most with what you are given.

Awesome night of wrestling, well worth the time spent. The show had a lot of undercard performers stepping up on a smaller show, while the headliners delivered strong performances. Really great stuff all around.

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WWE Survivor Series 2016 (Not Quite) Live Blog

Saw some friends in town from Australia and got momentarily obsessed with the new show The Killing Season, so got home a little after the show started, but I'm here now and starting it from the beginning! Brand supremacy is incredibly stupid!

1. Ariya Daivari, Drew Gulak & Tony Nese vs. Rich Swann, Noam Dar & TJ Perkins

Still a bummer we don't get Gallagher and have been getting Dar, but at least Gallagher's picture has been in the 205 Live lineup. Pre-PPV matches always have a hot crowd because people are just excited to see live wrestling, and this match is immediately ice cold. People DO NOT care about the cruiserweight division, likely because they threw all of these guys onto TV cold and just said "here are cruiserweights!!!" The word "cruiserweight" probably doesn't even mean a whole lot to most current fans. They weren't the ones whining about the nWo interrupting WCW lucha matches 20 years ago. And this match is weird. They're presented as cruiserweights but then they go out there and put on a standard WWE TV match with guys being put into arm locks that won't go anywhere. The whole thing was pretty flat. Gulak did things I liked, but he doesn't have the flash to get over in a 6 man like this. Dar shows us how bad of a catcher he is, the ref stops TJ doing a dive for no reason whatsoever, Swann hits the ugliest standing 450 that he's ever hit. This whole thing shouldn't get anybody excited for 205 Live, which is a shame.

2. Kane vs. Luke Harper

Oooooo a bonus kickoff match! And Kane hits the chinlock to start the match! This whole thing is pretty chinlock-y. Harper gets some moments of nice clubbing, some neat short knees to Kane's head, a big senton that the crowd dug. Kane is pretty sluggish here. Realllly going through some motions. JBL makes a dud of a Walking Dead reference. This was a lot of nothing and naturally you gotta keep Kane strong. He looked really really slow and bad here.

3. Bayley, Alicia Fox, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks & Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch, Naomi, Alexa Bliss, Carmella & Natalya

I think most of this PPV will be individual entrances. Nikki was attacked backstage by an unknown assailant (maybe the return of Midnight!?!?) and replaced by Natalya. Natalya and Nikki confuse me, because I watch Total Divas with Rachel, and that has to be a scripted show. But in these backstage "acting" segments both (especially Natalya) are such terrible actresses, in a way that never shows up on Total Divas. Are the situations scripted and not actual words? Because Nattie is completely unconvincing whenever she has to act. I didn't really get into this match until the Carmella/Fox segment, oddly. I liked the way they matched up. Bliss hits a neat moonsault to quickly eliminate Foxy though. I like Jax but man was it a dumb choice for her to wear a big red Raw shirt. Couldn't they have just made her some red accessories for her outfit? Her and Naomi match up nice with Nia absorbing a big crossbody to the floor, and Naomi bumping big on the floor as Jax destroys her. I do hate how these eliminations just come so quickly. Natalya is really getting the weird push suddenly, with her just steamrolling Sasha and then dominating Charlotte, until Charlotte hit one kick to eliminate her. Really hard to get too into this match where every single pairing has just ended with someone getting eliminated. Hardly any tag outs or drama, just new pairing, new elimination. Becky takes an eternity to set up an armbar and somehow Jax just taps to it. Man this match is really bad. No flow whatsoever. Bliss gets eliminate as I type that. This suuuuuucks. Half the stuff Lynch does looks really good. She always throws a nice legdrop (all the variations), some of her suplexes are great. But sometimes her move set up can take an eternity. The Bayley to Belly really did not look like a "killshot" move. Lynch took like 90% of their segment together and Bayley just wins the match with one suplex. This was terrible. I've made a terrible choice.

4. The Miz vs. Sami Zayn

This is a real nice, hot match. I don't love either guy but they're matching up really well in this one. The small knee selling work is good and Zayn ramps up the selling after hitting a Blue Thunder Bomb. Maryse interjecting herself on the floor was great and her work and timing as a second is always worth watching. She knows when to hold back and has great reactions (her whipping her arm around while Miz is locking on the figure 4 is Wendell Kim-esque in it's animated excitement). Zayn locking on the figure 4 was a little clunky, with Miz pulling his own leg into position to help him out and we all knew there would be some sort of masturbatory '97 reference on this show, because they can't help themselves. If there HAD to be an SS97 spot this was probably the best case scenario, as the cut over to Maryse ringing it was great. Overall match was good. But damn at this point I'm pretty sure they just book shows in Canada so that they can rub the SS97 finish in their face. They're like a guy who had awful 90 second teenage summer camp sex with a girl who then sends her a letter every couple years reminding her of it.

5. Enzo Amore & Big Cass/The Shining Stars/Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows/Sheamus & Cesaro/New Day vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno/Breezango/Usos/Hype Bros/American Alpha

I don't mind Enzo and Cass yammering on for several minutes, as it allows me to FF with zero hesitation and attempt to get closer to live. Cesaro's dinner jacket/carnation look amazing, but he really needs that shit to be tearaway. Who takes a jacket off over their head? I like whenever Michael Cole slips up and says "Hype Brothers", but sadly he's not on commentary here. I don't know why it makes me laugh. Is there an ECW chant? We immediately start with two different eliminations. "This changes everything!!" Probably not. Gallows punches in the corner on Mojo looked really great, and Anderson throws an awesome knee to Ryder's face. Gallows and Anderson appear to get better as WWE's interest in them gets lesser. These matches are the pits with all the fast eliminations. How are these pins not being broken up!? Everybody has fucking 8 partners just standing there watching. And they all look like total goobers in their branded shirts. Primo does a cool weird bump in the corner that ends with his leg getting hooked. Man the way every single person tonight is getting eliminated after one move of offense, I'd be terrified to get in the ring. Does everybody have a fucking bus to catch or something? Slater's stage dive off the top looked great. But it's really hard to care about any of this. Not one once of psychology. I much rather would have seen a normal tag match between any of these teams. Usos vs. Sheamus/Cesaro for 10 minutes would be really good. Almost none of this match was good.

6. Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Really fun start to this one, especially the "Kendrick using environment" spots: Holding onto ropes, the funky schoolboy into the bottom turnbuckle, kicking Kalisto's trapped body in the ring steps, but really anything he does has looked good. Kendrick breaks out a nasty back suplex and a cravate, and I loved Kalisto's fast head and arm drag to try and shake the cravate. Kendrick makes leg kicks look good and is really smart with his rope usage without getting cutesy. And then they break out the Spanish Fly from the apron which is pretty crazy, and then Kendrick catches Kalisto's tope in a really awesome way, just completely getting barreled over. This is really fun. This is really a PPV with some fun singles matches and horrible multimans. Damn that headlock takeover to set up the bully choke was sick. Really got into all of Kendrick's choke, with Kalisto gamely fighting to the ropes. Kendrick looks really great in this, even landing a vicious diving axe handle. When was the last time you saw a nasty axe handle? Kalisto's offense is really benefitting from Kendrick too. Nobody whips their head into the mat for Kalisto's kneeling rana quite like Kendrick. Well, that finish blew and I was not expecting to see Kendrick win. So the cruisers are staying on Raw....but 205 Live will be taped after Smackdown? How will any of that work?

7. Shane MacMahon, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, AJ Styles & Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens

They're starting this off really slow which makes me think this is getting way more time than the other (terrible) elimination matches. Not tons to comment on at first, except for Shane's goofiest punches ever. It was nice to see Jericho's missile dropkick catch Shane right in the jaw. He is far and away the easiest guy to root against in this match. Is windbreaker pants really the best he can do for ring gear? How is the casual fan supposed to feel about him? He's supposed to be some kind of legend, right? Yuck. Ambrose hits a really nice lariat on Owens, then whiffs by a few feet on a tope that I think was supposed to not whiff. Styles hits a pretty wild flying elbow to the floor, Owens hits a nice fat guy senton to the floor and eats a back breaker over the barrier. This is actually pretty fun. Strowman kicks Shane in the face and I love it. Shane almost hangs himself clotheslining Braun over. Looked sloppy as hell, but the sloppiness gave it a nice reckless feel. Oh my but those Shane punches in the corner are the shittiest. Graves sucks the company dick and calmly puts over all the time Shane spends in the boxing gym. Good lord Braun tries to murder AJ by throwing him over the top to the floor, and either threw him too short or too far and AJ takes a nutso bump rolling over the top rope backwards to the floor. Good gravy. Much as I will continue to root against him, Shane's elbow through Braun on the announce table looked awesome, and Ellsworth grabbing Braun's leg to keep him out of the ring was a pretty clever way to keep Braun strong-yet-eliminated, and about the best use of Ellsworth. Also a good use of Ellsworth, having Braun launch him off the ramp through a table. Why were there pizza boxes on a table next to the entrance ramp? Who was just sitting there eating pizza and couldn't clean up his garbage? Somebody on the ring crew is going to have to leave an anonymous comic sans note asking people to clean up after themselves.

Shane commits on a missed dropkick and nicely sneaks in knees to counter a Lionsault. His timing on getting the knees up was really good. Damn Jericho slamming AJ's head into the mat looked nasty, just grabbing him by the hair and violently slamming the back of his head into the mat. The stuff with the clipboard was all realllllly stupid. The match goes 30 minutes with only 2 eliminations, and two guys go out because of the clipboard. That's really dumb you guys. Fuck I hate that I've actually liked a lot of Shane's stuff in this match. He's eaten several nice Reigns punches, and then flies wildly off the top rope into a spear. Though Reigns wasn't totally accounting for the weight and almost spiked his own head. It looked like Shane nailed him with a DDT. Oh, and they're sort of selling it that way, so that works for me. Some of his awful punches aside, Shane has clearly looked better than Rollins in this match, at minimum. Orton has been in like 30 seconds of this now 40+ minute match. I've actually been surprisingly into this whole match but it's finally starting to drag for me. But that's okay because it's over!! It looks like this has been getting pretty roundly shit on, and yeah there really wasn't any psychology outside of "These guys were randomly picked to be on one show, these were picked to be on the other show, they have zero alliances, but this time it counts!!!" So that's really stupid. Nobody actually cares about "brand supremacy". And yes a lot of this was constructed as valiant hero Shane fighting the odds. But I thought this was totally fine. Long as hell, but I was never bored. Not glowing praise I know, but this was definitely not as bad as some are making it out to be.

8. Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

I understand the modern medical age we live in, but I still am amazed that 50 year old Goldberg looks essentially the same as he did 16 years ago. Goatee is whiter. That's it. I'm kind of foolishly excited for this one. And HOLY SHIT THEY BOOKED A SQUASH!! THAT was not the finish I was expecting. The whole build up I've been asking "how is a 50 year old who hasn't worked in 12 years going to get thrown around by Lesnar??" and then they go and have Goldberg squash him. Two spears, jackhammer, done. I'm kind reeling, and don't totally know if this was the stupidest way to book this, or the smartest. Lesnar has dominated almost everybody for 18 months, and now a guy who hasn't wrestled in 12 years beats him in 90 seconds. This has to send a terrible message to every single full time wrestler. BUT it also kind of makes sense that the first big Lesnar loss in ages would come in Warrior/Honky Tonk fashion. Just totally surprise Lesnar and mow through him, don't let him even get to suplex city. BUT then you go right back to thinking that there were other guys that are actually ON the roster that they could have booked to do that. This program is over, right? Goldberg isn't sticking around? So does Lesnar go back to dominating the actual roster and they just stop talking about how Goldberg came back, squashed him, and now Lesnar is right back to being better than the regular roster? I don't know!!! It seems kind of dumb and kind of hilarious but was also kind of awesome. I bet nobody was expecting this finish, which is amusing and I was certainly left with my jaw dropped. They built this up for like 2 months!! And then it takes 90 seconds and they go "Thanks for watching, universe!!" This is like one of those UFC fights that get 24/7 type specials, crazy build up, and then someone catches a high kick one minute in. So ridiculous.

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WWE Roadblock Live Blog

Roadblock was an abolute top 5 favorite WCW syndicated guy for me, and it's cruel they're taunting me like this, and even more cruel that they never gave him a fair shake after WCW folded. Roadblock looked like my childhood-through-high school friend Ben, and I loved them both, though for different reasons. How dare you play with my emotions on a Saturday night WWE.

1. The New Day vs. League of Nations

ER: It's funny how quick the expiration on some WWE stuff is. A few months ago I found myself chuckling at a few New Day segments. Now I find myself fast forwarding their segments about 30 seconds in. According to Byron Saxton, Sheamus and Barrett competed against each other for "about 10 years" before they got to WWE. I'm gonna call bullshit on that one. Unless Barrett is a 20 year vet. I suppose it's possible. Regal and tons of other awesome vets started in their teens. But holy shit if Barrett has been doing this for 20 years and presently wrestles like Wade Barrett?? Sheamus and Barrett are a nice little team though. I'm really loving each guy suplexing Kofi around. Wade busts out a cool tornado snap suplex, starting like a tornado DDT but planting his feet and snapping off the suplex. Really dug Sheamus' twisting vertical suplex into a low Barrett superkick. Big E has the greatest standing splash of all time. I don't think it's even arguable. How many big fat guys have had disappointing standing splashes? Many. Big E not only gets the most height, but lands with the most weight. It's the best. I loved Kofi catching Sheamus on the floor with a leaping bulldog off the steps. I didn't see it coming, Sheamus took it like a guy who also did not see it coming. Nice opener.

ER: I'm not sure who the guy is holding the mic for Heyman, but damn that is some grade A asshole hair right there. Is he being ribbed? Look at the side angle, as his forehead forms a perfect straight line up to his fade. Kudos for the camera crew zooming to a tighter shot of just Heyman, as that goon standing in frame would have been far too distracting.

2. Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger

ER: Jericho makes some pretty terrific smug unamused faces on his way to the ring and while soaking up boos during his promo. I loved him running down his people, but disappointed that he twice stated they were always playing catch-up, yet somehow didn't make a ketchup chips joke. Sohrry. They "asshole" chants sound incredibly Canadian. It's glorious. I get less and less excited with every Jericho return, but if he has to wrestle on TV a lot then clearly heel Jericho is a much better option. If only because then we get the return of the mocking kicks!! Those were my favorite part of his offense when I was in high school. I still wish late career Shawn Michaels had done a heel turn. He could have been such an incredible John Tatum. His outfits work so much better as a heel, and by that point he could have had so many fun comedy reactions based around his hair tuft. It's pretty easy to forget Swagger exists on the roster. I need to start watching Main Event and Superstars to see if there are any gems popping up there. Boy, Jericho sure looks off a couple steps in every one of his return matches. Although it kinda works for his heel persona, there's still no denying he's kind of on par with an average divas match at this point. Match itself was nothing to write home about. Swagger still doesn't know how to make an ankle lock look effective. But hey, mocking kicks!!

3. Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady vs. The Revival (Dawson & Dash)

ER: I am a literal 24 months behind on my NXT, so it will be weird to see how some of these guys look in this flash forward. Colin Cassady is a constant source of giggles for me in 2014 NXT, so we'll see if he's figured out how to work big and not work like a super tall Steve Simpson. I have never seen The Revival before. You will be with me as I learn which one is Dawson and which one is Dash. Dash is the one with hair. I figured it out super quick. Dash throws a stiff elbow and takes a nice back drop. Enzo's low crossbody is cool. Enzo seems like a real good FIP, and Revival are good ring cutter offers. Loved Dawson's hard stomps on Enzo's arms. And HOLY SHIT Enzo running for the tag only to get POUNCED by Dawson was one of my favorite spots I've ever seen related to a tag. We've fallen into such a pattern of hot tags turning into double tag outs, with both guys sneaking peaks at the other making sure they time it right, then something like this comes out of nowhere and knocks my socks on my ass. Then they did the double tag afterwards. But Dash did it nicely. Dawson's missed punch segment against Enzo was pretty terrible. Those things were missing by 4 feet. Overall this was a nicely done tag. Enzo fed The Revival really well, and that made the match. I will see more of these guys when I'm all caught up to 2016 NXT in three years.

4. Natalya vs. Charlotte

ER: What does Ric Flair have against button up shirts? T-shirts and suit jackets is a pretty tragic look. If you're smart enough to wear a pocket square, just buy a couple button ups. And you know Flair's t-shirts probably cost some stupid amount. Like they're some kind of "dress" t-shirt. Ugh. Natalya dedicating the match to Bret Hart comes off like such a desperate move. "How about those 2015 NLDS Champion Blue Jays, right? RIGHT??" So do they have Flair constantly with Charlotte just because they're afraid what Ric might do to himself if he wasn't on the road around people? Horrible thought, but it didn't sound unbelievable as I typed it. Her aping Flair spots and leaving the talking to her dad certainly isn't helping her grow as a performer. Man, Bret Hart gets prostate cancer and then his niece loses on a WWE Network special in a match dedicated to him. Tough month. For all of Cole's idiot talk of Natalya needing to "get some blood flowing back to that knee" (huh?) I wasn't ever feeling the knee injury much. The powerbomb hope spot was nice, but I just can't get into Charlotte matches. I strongly dislike her "I'm disgruntled" face, and Flair getting involved in every single one of her match finishes is so beyond tired at this point.

5. Brock Lesnar vs. Luke Harper

ER: Lesnar/Harper is a modern dream match for me, so I'm loving this. Hopefully we get Lesnar clotheslining Brown Snowman in the jaw again. And damn poor Harper. He laces into Lesnar with great punches, a big boot, big man tope, but then has to suffer through so many damn Germans. And sadly for Harper, he takes Germans realllllly well. He folds up so perfectly. It's like gorgeous poetry. I was obviously hoping for a much longer match, at least 8 minutes. The action was solid gold but just left me wanting mooooooore. Brock needs to come back out and demolish HHH in the main.

6. Sami Zayn vs. Stardust

ER: Does Sami always have the ska intro? Or is that his new WWE theme? It's a little high school, but amusing. I wonder if he also sent away for dozens of different ska zines from across the country? And if all of them featured interviews with Mustard Plug. I wanted to start my own ska zine just so my one and only issue could proclaim "We will NEVER interview Mustard Plug". The whole zine would likely just be about Bad Manners. I would call it Chex. And boy for a guy who just made a big "debut" this week, it's weird seeing him just get dominated by Stardust. I mean 5 minutes in and Zayn has just been taking it and taking it. 8 minutes in and Zayn finally finds a way to crack the Stardust code that's been dominating the fed for years. Zayn gets to kick out of the Disaster Kick and wins shortly after, but no matter how much Cole thinks getting a win over Stardust is a way to really make an impact, this was a disaster. Whose idea was it to give freaking Stardust 95% of this match??

7. Dean Ambrose vs. HHH

ER: During the Shield/Evolution matches Ambrose still wrestled like Ambrose, but here he is wrestling almost, really slotting into the HHH cookie cutter match structure. Things get momentarily good when Ambrose dropkicks the his knee while HHH is in the ropes, but moments later HHH is suplexing him on the floor and walking around just fine. HHH is still trying to #TaketheCripplerCrossfaceBack. Man this is methodical. Realllll businesslike. The man really knows how to silence a crowd. Although watching Stardust dominate a match for 10 straight minutes probably didn't do HHH's established formula any favors. God this is dull. We get some perfunctory submissions in the middle of the ring, Cole screaming about how HHH is just about to tap AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FINISH!?!?!? Apparently Ambrose's legs were UNDER the rope when he pinned HHH? Oh, brother. It somehow worked on the crowd, though. I expected them to turn hard but it actually made them interested in the match for the first time. Ambrose misses the elbow through the table and valiantly fights his way into a Pedigree. Man what a dogshit match. That false finish was maybe the dumbest fucking false finish I have ever seen. Whoever laid out that spot done fucked up. I can't believe that HHH would be shown getting pinned anyway, but man bringing up a fake rule after Ambrose beats him with a leg possibly sort of maybe under the plane of the ropes looked waayyyyyyy worse than the Starrcade "slow" count. I guess it was supposed to make Ambrose look strong? Man the visual of that just looked so fucking stupid.

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WWE TLC 2015 Live Blog

1. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

ER: They start with this ugly, endless sketch where Team BAD sing a terrible, cringeworthy 12 Days of Christmas rendition that....I'm not sure what was supposed to be accomplished. Was it to get Banks booed in her hometown? Who is the heel in this though? You have a hometown heel who the crowd wants to cheer, who then is forced to do an unfunny and unprepared segment to start the match, and the crowd is then just left quiet. I love the early armwork and loved Becky's ankle pick on a Banks leap frog. We hit the Banks transition and Lawler says that Banks has controlled the whole match, even though literally the exact opposite thing has happened the whole match. The facials Banks makes in between moves is great. She knows how to shit talk and make great cocky faces. I love when she shit talks mid-move and it blows up on her, like slapping Lynch and talking shit leading to her getting blasted with an elbow. Her crossface submission looks good and I liked Lynch fighting up out of it, with Banks trying to stomp the backs of her knees. Match as a whole didn't do a whole lot for me as I didn't care much about Lynch's comebacks.

2. Tag Title Ladder Match: The New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Usos

ER: This starts off immediately fun with guys taking bumps to the floor, and Kofi and Kalisto doing stereo springboards onto either side of a set-up ladder. Dragons hit sloppyish moonsaults to the floor, and Usos do a stereo dive into all guys, while the guys on the floor shield themselves with a ladder. Somehow diving into a ladder doesn't hurt the Usos, it only hurts the guys taking the dive. Big E and Kofi trap an Uso in a ladder in the corner, and do all sorts of violent chokes and strikes to him, capped with a Kofi running dropkick. The other Uso gets suplexed onto the same ladder. Kalisto hits a nice bombs away over a ladder, and Sin Cara does a nice cattle branding with a ladder, then does a balls out nuts swanton to the floor onto a ladder with both Usos underneath. Daaaaamn. Oh shit, Kalisto climbs the ladder with Big E under it, and E starts fucking BENCH PRESSING the ladder while Kalisto climbs, so the ladder is tilting and at a 45 degree angle while Kalisto bails and flies into the Usos. Crazy visual when they cut to the wide shot to see E lifting that ladder. Kalisto does a 450 onto the Usos under a ladder, after being vaulted into it by a Sin Cara monkey flip. Jeez. And then he tops is all by hitting his sliced bread finisher off the top of one ladder, through another ladder set up horizontally. And then Sin Cara hits a springboard swanton. Lucha Dragons could get over huge after this match. An Uso hits a frog splash from the top through a ladder with E underneath. Aww shit Xavier throws his trombone at Kalisto!! Damn he really tossed that thing at him hard. Fun crazy match. Could be a star making performance from Kalisto if they choose to follow up on it (har har har). Not only were his spots crazy, but he did a good job of making his set up strikes and everything looked good. His punches while balancing on a ladder were especially impressive, and when those look good then doing your crazy finisher off the top of the ladder is just going to mean more.

3. Rusev vs. Ryback

ER: I love a big hoss match, but for much of this it felt like they were trying to do spots where two big lugs crash into each other, but they weren't making those spots look very impressive. I get how to huge dudes trying and blocking each other's suplexes could look cool, but it just looked like two guys taking turns hopping into place. The stuff that looked best (Rusev's chokes) got deemphasized quick, in favor of "Ryback agility spots" like his middle buckle dropkick and his crossbody. The Ryback agility spots seemed way too out of place in this, and Rusev came out of this looking bad. We had a match where Ryback took 80% of the action, then Rusev only permanently goes ahead by Ryback getting stalled by Lana AGAIN, and then Rusev hitting his nice superkick. Lana is fucking great at her part, but man they did Rusev no favors here. But really they've been doing Rusev no favors for almost a year now.

4. Chair Match: Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio

ER: Boy a chair match seems impossible to pull off under their PG rules. Feels like a match that has a chance to be violent, but is hard to make look violent to the fans unless the guys just actually get hurt. I can appreciate how nice Del Rio does worked shots to the stomach and throat, but fans like hearing and seeing big meaty thwacks. Swagger taking a chair to the throat off a Vader Bomb attempt looked great and was almost missed by the cameras. Del Rio throws about a dozen chairs on Swagger's body, and Swagger terribly sells this by acting as if he were unconscious. He doesn't even flinch for ANY of the chair throws. Just lies there, breathing heavily, getting chairs thrown at his body. Give me a little writhing, a little AGGGGGGHHH, I don't care if it's cartoonish, make me actually think you're getting hit with fucking chairs, because DUDE, you're getting hit with fucking chairs. It doesn't matter as a minute later Swagger is back in the ring hitting Del Rio with chairs. Del Rio returns the favor by being in the Patriot Lock for an eternity and immediately not giving a shit about it once he's out of it. Man this blows. Swagger has taken nothing but chairs to the body, so naturally keeps trying to do his Swagger Bomb with his battered body. ADR at least set up the corner stomp spot nicely by trapping Swagger in the corner and beating the shit out of him. The visual of Swagger getting stomped into chairs looked good. ADR immediately sells his ankle for the first time right when the match ends. Little of this meant anything to me.

5. Elimination Tables Match: Wyatt Family

ER: So they're doing individual eliminations, which means we should be getting a bunch of bodies through tables here. I thought Rhyno looked really good in the Raw multiman, and he and Strowman looked like they were lacing into each other. Harper and Bubba were throwing big blows too. Once things spill to the floor and table spots start getting set up, the match gets pretty boring. There were a couple decent individual moments, like Dreamer and Bubba going nuts on Strowman with kendo sticks, and then burying him under tables. Harper looks really good throughout, and his big man tope putting Dreamer through a table looked good. Bubba setting up the lighter fluid spot gets the crowd to actually make noise, and then in a hilarious fuck you Harper hits a nasty superkick to Bubba's throat and Strowman puts him through the table before it's lit. So the Wyatts ran through Team ECW, which is what should have happened, but the match wasn't very good.

6. Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Owens controls a lot of the start, but he's good at it, good at standing on Dean's throat and tossing on a snug side headlock, nice back elbow, then also flies into Dean's back elbow and gets rocked over the top with a lariat. I loved Owens scouting the Ambrose 360 lariat and catching him, then tossing him into the barricade with a fallaway slam. These two seem like they match up well on paper, but none of their matches have worked for me. You think Owens is a nasty asskicker, and Ambrose is a scrambly babyface with great comebacks, but nothing ever gels to make their matches against each other memorable. Both guys can have better matches against inferior opponents, than against each other. I like the rana out of the powerbomb finish, but the build within their matches just does nothing for me. Both men do spots, but none of the moves each guy takes ever causes either man trouble when trying to hit offense, it just feels like filling time.

7. Paige vs. Charlotte

ER: So I also don't get who is the heel here. Charlotte is a face acting like a heel who will do anything to win, and Paige is acting like a heel who should be a face. Sounds like another combination that will equal a quiet crowd. And jesus do they still think toting her father around with her is hoping Charlotte get over? They've been doing it for fucking months now. Flair gets a reaction, but it just acts as a constant visual reminder that Charlotte needs a LOT of help getting over, like they're afraid of her reaction if not with her father. But the reaction WITH her father is hardly there. They are still desperately constantly saying Flair is her father, she learned from the best, because her father is Flair, she's just like her father, who's 16 time world champion Ric Flair, blah blah blah. It's not making a difference. Charlotte aping Flair spots is just brutal. Charlotte seems like a natural heel, but the Flair spots are just so bad.

8. TLC World Title Match: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Boston crowd immediately distracted with Cena chants. Reigns' mounted elbows looked really good. Sheamus gently tosses a ladder into Reigns. Reigns feebly bumps into the barricade. Both guys are moving startingly slow for the first minute of the match. Sheamus takes a nice backdrop bump over the barrier because Sheamus always takes big bumps. And match starts to get good when it's based around Sheamus taking wild bumps. He sprawls through tables and set-up chairs and tables set up on chairs. He gets a big scrape on his arm and the deep red looks cool against his pale skin. Sheamus always bruises up well. Chair shots start looking more nasty, Reigns throws some nice rights, Sheamus hits an awesome lariat after luring Reigns in to do the apron dropkick. Sheamus does a huge White Noise through a table and Roman ends up grabbing Sheamus' foot getting back in the ring. Sheamus does this great look of disgust at Reigns. All of Reigns' punches and strikes look good in this. His superman punches have been on point. Sheamus takes a couple crazy moves onto and through ladders. One to the floor was sick. Reigns takes a super ill-advised bump off the ladder into the ropes, reaching his leg out for the ropes for some reason, like he was actively trying to tear an ACL. But then Reigns runs up the ladder with a superman punch that sends Sheamus flying off the ladder into a table. That looked great. ADR and Rusev run in. Rusev sells the superman punch really great, dropping to his knees and face planting. Match itself was really good and violent. Reigns flops again when faced with obstacles, but both men matched up really nicely. It's the kind of thing that works better in a vacuum, as the crazy violent spots come at the end of a night filled with crazy violent spots. Everybody wanted their spots to look violent, and while I think the ones in this match were more violent than most of the others on the show, it still feels silly to have to think "was that the best or the 6th best table spot we've seen tonight?" HHH comes out and leans about as far out of the superman punch as possible. Reigns threw like 6 superman punches in the match itself, and they all looked great and everybody went face first into them. So leave it to HHH to bump 3 feet early when it's his turn. Stephanie always seems to be making the wrong faces, like she doesn't understand actual human emotion. Roman throws some more nice rights and HHH takes a powerbomb into an announce table. The long build up of HHH being helped up by tons of officials while Reigns walks away, into Reigns sprinting back to spear him was awesome. Sheamus has been selling for like 8 minutes.

So, I liked the tag team ladder match and the main event. That's two more matches than I liked on the last PPV so there's an easy step-up. Still didn't feel like a great show, possibly didn't feel like a good show. I'm almost always left feeling like a specific match should have been better. That's a feeling that's been with me for months now concerning WWE, seems like every match should just be better. Sometimes it feels like the fed is actively working to have the matches not be better. Is this just me?

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WWE Survivor Series 2015 Live(ish) Blog

So I basically have not been watching any WWE television. If I remember something is on then I'll flip over to the channel, see if anything catches my eye. The product is not doing a whole lot for me right now. I'm going into this not knowing literally any of the matches on the card. That sounds like a terrible idea.

1. Traditional Survivor Series Match: The Miz, Bo Dallas, Stardust & The Ascension vs. Neville, The Dudley Boyz, Titus O'Neill & Goldust

ER: Kind of hilarious that we get a "traditional" Survivor Series match on the pre-show of Survivor Series. Can't have this Survivor Series shit getting in the way of Survivor Series. And woof that is one dogshit 5 man team right there. I mean good lord. The team name should be "The 5 guys Eric would switch channels to avoid". I mean come on. I'm watching you BLIND Survivor Series, and this is what you immediately do to me!? But I cannot skip it, because they had to throw Goldust into the thing. And he was the 10th guy announced. If it had been pretty much 90% of the rest of the roster, it would have been skippable. But I gotta watch any and all Goldust. And he immediately eliminates Viktor with his gorgeous powerslam. I'm not too broken up about that. Titus' corner strikes on Konnor look really good. Konnor's jumping elbowdrop on Ray looked pillowy soft and terrible. Neville gets a fun flurry against Stardust and then gets pinned by a bulldog. We're going into dumbshit quick pin mode. This is mostly awful. Cody punches Goldust in the ear and things get better. Bo Dallas has a shitty chinlock. Match ends awhile later. Nothing to see here. Goldust looked good. None of the eliminations had any build or meant anything. This is clearly a horrible idea of mine.

Byron Allen (?) says that match reminded him of all the Survivor Series matches from when he was a kid. Yeah. There's zero chance this match reminded anybody of anything.

2. Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

ER: Roman is getting what they call a "Cena reaction". Del Rio looks like a star. He looks like he's in the best cosmetic shape of his career. He looks pretty massive. I didn't realize he was larger than Reigns. Del Rio looks really good throughout this. Dug his hotshot and enziguiri, then he takes a nice thud on a Fuerza bump. Reigns takes a nice ringpost bump. ADR makes me buy his missed double stomp off the top. He did a real great knee buckle stumble sell. JBL tries to make it out like he faked that knee buckle as part of a strategy, but faking a knee injury to take a superman punch sounds like a pretty fucking stupid strategy. I liked ADR in this, and the match got about 14 minutes to do something, but didn't do much for me. They tried to make the stretch run dramatic, but really they just had ADR lock in the armbar a couple times only to have Roman power out. Kinda made all the babbling about a weak shoulder come off as a shrug. Nice individual moments. Pretty unfulfilling as a whole.

3. Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

ER: There's a fat guy in the crowd clearly telling his woman the back story on every match so far. You can totally tell. He's pointing at each guy and leaning in, you can just picture him saying "alright so this guy beat a guy named Dolph Ziggler. I know, right? I don't know. Yeah it's probably not his real name. But Ambrose. Yeah the skinnier guy. He beat Ziggler. This is a semi-final. There's a whole tournament." And boy this isn't doing a whole helluva lot for me either. And as I type that they start to win me over. Owens hits a mammoth superplex, Dean hits one of his best ever rebound lariats, Ambrose eats a couple nice superkicks, takes a gross slam into an announce table. But the build for these matches has done absolutely nothing for me. Both have come off like guys doing moves with no consequences. I mean jesus even though I thought they looked nasty, in the last minute of the match Dean got slammed into the announce tables, took two superkicks, and then still got the pin.

The SNES commercial for TLC looked really great. The Reigns superman punch animation was perfection.

4. Ryback & The Lucha Dragons & The Usos vs. New Day, Sheamus & King Barrett

ER: Unhip Sheamus made me chuckle saying they were gonna get jiggy on these poseurs. Big E avoiding eye contact with him afterwards was perfect. Woods has an amazing James Brown pompadour with a ducktail mullet. The construction of the whole thing is really impressive. Sadly it will probably all tumble down after one bump. Sheamus takes a couple really great bumps to the floor working Sin Cara: one nice tumbling one landing on his side, and taking an enziguiri and bumping on his knees to the floor. Ouch. Ryback hits one of the ugliest dives ever, but we'll just go A for effort on that one, like when Road Dogg tried to moonsault off a cage. This whole thing is pretty fun. Big E's spear to the floor is such a brutal spot. New Day is probably the best possible use of Kofi ever. He doesn't have to do tons of offense and let Big E carry the load. New Day ditching Sheamus kinda makes sense, and Sheamus works shockingly well with smaller workers. I loved him stomping on Kalisto's hands. Sheamus did about as good a job as possible holding down the fort without a team. This elimination match was a massive step up from the garbage one on the pre show.

5. Paige vs. Charlotte

ER: Charlotte has never impressed me before. Paige has a really great abdominal stretch, pressing down hard on the side of Charlotte's head every time she wrenches it in. Paige also takes a mean electric chair bump onto the apron. Charlotte's rolling headscissors was both goofy and painful looking, so it gets a pass. But it's not as nasty as Paige's surfboard lock or her great knees in the corner. But those were not as nasty as Charlotte's scream and face after hitting a so-so spear. Match overall was pretty decent. Charlotte still doesn't do much for me. I don't think she has much body charisma, and a lot of her offense feels very dependent on somebody leaning way into her offense.

6. Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: Ziggler has an updated look on mid 90s cruising attire Shawn Michaels. Even has those same awful boots. Kenny Omega douche hair + Shawn Michael lube guy at the fisting station gear = profit?  Match itself was decent enough for a completely heatless affair. Both guys did some things that looked cool, also never made me care about the things they were doing. Some of this may be the announce team. The announce team is the ultimate limp dick tonight. They sound rehearsed to say what is happening in front of them, while also not making it important or interesting or dramatic. It's a brutal combo. Breeze bumps into Dolph's stuff well, flying into a dropkick and planting himself on a flapjack. Announcers push this as a HUGE win for Breeze, but really it would have been far more shocking to everybody if Ziggler would have won. That dude loses to everybody, and has been doing so for years.

7. Wyatt Family vs. Undertaker & Kane

ER: Undertaker's slow menacing walk to the ring looks less doomy and more accident victim learning how to walk again. But in the ring he looks spry enough against Harper. Kane takes an awesome bump over the announce table. Cole is desperately trying to push every single Undertaker movement as "ANOTHER CLASSIC #UNDERTAKERSURVIVORSERIESMOMENT!!!" He's beyond insufferable. Braun takes a fine bump through an announce table, Undertaker impresses me by getting Harper up for a Tombstone eventually, and really this was Undertaker going through some greatest hits so Cole could cream his jeans and scream VINTAGE!

8. Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns

ER: This was pretty easily the best match of the night, but that wasn't really saying a whole bunch. I almost always like it when Shield guys match up, and this match was short for them (about 10 minutes) but was worked at a quick 10 minute match pace. I don't care for the spear as a death finisher, but Ambrose is great spilling all around for Reigns, and I liked the kneeling punch exchange. Also thought Ambrose looked badass with his torn shirt from the previous Owens match, made him look like a hero towards the end of an action movie.

Sheamus cashes in MITB afterwards, and yeah that concept is pretty beyond played out. It's an amusing dick move to cash in on Reigns while Reigns was celebrating in his massive confetti pile Good lord whoever ordered confetti accidentally checked the "case" measurement instead of individual confetti packages, so on the "Confetti Celebration Dial" instead of getting "Tasteful World Title Celebration" we ended up getting "Rip Taylor Just Died Two Days Before Pride Weekend and We Must Celebrate His Memory".

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