WWE Backlash Running Late Blog 5/16/21

ER: So apparently there STILL isn't a rewind feature on Peacock and I didn't realize. I'll go back and pick up whatever I missed when it's uploaded. 

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

ER: I thought this kicked all kinds of ass, great way to kick off a show (even if it was the last match I watched). This one really cements Backlash as a super strong show, high floor, high ceiling. This is the first singles match ever between Sheamus and Ricochet, and it's a really great time for it to happen for the first time. Sheamus has been on fire since his return, and Ricochet is having his best in ring year since at least 2018. It's a good time for them to finally cross paths in a singles. Sheamus lays in his beating, really pounds Ricochet's chest, and throws a couple different knees that POP in replay. I love watching Sheamus kick, knee, and elbow his way through a match, and Ricochet's flying added some fun flash. I love a guy who can lean jaw first into kneelifts and then hit some fly springboards. I never got the sense Ricochet could win this match, but that's fine because he also didn't look like a total joke. He looked like a guy who could surprise Sheamus at some point, and Sheamus remains on his tear. 

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

ER: I thought this was good! I was not excited to see two three ways on this card (three, including the Mysterio handicap match), but I wound up enjoying or even loving all of them. This felt like Charlotte's best performance all year, which is amusing as I'm pretty sure I said that about Rey Mysterio and Roman Reigns, so this show was apparently the time for the big stars to show the hell up in 2021. I also think this was one of Asuka's best performances of the year, had a nice run through all of the match, felt like the most involved in many ways. But my main take away was that it was good to see Charlotte lean into her better qualities, and find better ways to integrate her more recent Barry Darsow constant chattering. I don't think every wrestler intends to become Barry Darsow, but sometimes it happens, and Charlotte's turn as a Mean Girl Barry Darsow have been mixed. Charlotte has downright stunk in the ring lately, looking completely distracted and dominating too much TV time for the low quality of work. This felt like a step in the right direction. 

Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode vs. Rey Mysterio 

ER: Dominik taken out earlier in the night, and it gives us this really great old school handicap match, with an all time legendary babyface gutting it out against what feels like a tag team of Hennig and Rude. The Dirty Dawgs are - believe it or not - one of the best teams in 2021 wrestling, and Roode/Ziggler have been putting on their strongest work in years. Their team name is horrible, but it also fits, and their ringwork and chemistry are good enough that the work surpasses the name. This is Rey's strongest performance of the year, a year that started with him looking aged to me for the first time in his career. A slow first 2-3 months has lead to a wildly resurgent Spring, and it still amazes me that we get to still be seeing REY MYSTERIO performances. He is so good at making this a compelling handicap match, knowing the exact moments to make his comebacks, knowing exactly how to take a valiant but sympathetic underdog beating. Roode and Ziggler are great at working their end, and I really think this tag is the best possible role for each. Both thrive within this tag structure, have very good timing for it, and it really plays to their individual strengths. Their cutoff spots are good and they stooge very well for all of Rey's best spots. There's a fantastic callback spot, where early in the match Rey hits his sliding body press to the floor, and then later Roode throws him into that spot and directly into a Ziggler superkick. Rey's selling from the spot is superb, and the later match payoff of him sliding out on the offensive again, sunset flip powerbombing Ziggler into the apron was great. Dominik's late match involvement was well integrated, and I think he keeps showing improvement. Working pros like Roode and Ziggler is helping him, and I think that bears well on them. But this match was a Rey match, and was one of the great Mysterio performances, a genuine later career highlight of one of the greatest careers ever. 

PS: Very happy we get to see Rey still delivering on a big stage. He is only 46 which is pretty much still luchador prime (I mean Black Terry is still having MOTYs in his late 60s), and I enjoyed him working in this classic tag team structure. Handicap match with the partner coming from the back is tag team wrestling going way back (we even see a version of it in French Catch), and Mysterio and Ziggler and Roode all play their roles well. Dirty Dogs have some really nasty double teams, some good shit talking, if this was a new team instead of two guys who have been around forever, I really think they would be getting a ton of props. That baseball slide into the superkick was incredible, as was the Rey final cut off baseball slide into the powerbomb. I didn't love the timing of the final frog splash, Dominick took forever to get up to the top rope, and the impact looked more like a celebrity frog splash (I think Snoop Dogg had more impact) than a wrestler's version. Seems like keeping Dominick in the locker room for 70% of the match is the way to go, but I am all for Rey getting another run.

The Miz vs. Damian Priest

ER: A zombie lumberjack match, in tribute to the first episode of the real ECW, and it actually winds up being much more fun than I expected it to be. Dumb as hell, but I'd rather these two work dumb than work serious. I liked Miz a lot here, and I think acting like a doofus around zombies while taking silly Edge offense from Priest is a good spot for him to excel. There's a fun moment where Miz and Priest stand back to back and fight zombies together, man united, then back in the ring Miz goes for a high five as a way to Trojan horse a kick to the stomach (that gets caught). Morrison comes out and wipes out a bunch of zombies with parkour, and then gets SWARMED and dragged to his death by zombies! Part of me wants Morrison to disappear for 6 months to commit to this and come back like parkour Onryu. Zombie Parkour is a brilliant gimmick for Morrison, as then he doesn't have to act or promo, he can just brainlessly go through gymnastics showcases and it would give everything much more substance. This was a good use of time, and we got to see two different people kick a zombie in the face with a spinkick. 

Bianca Belair vs. Bayley

ER: Belair's gear is incredible, like the kind of iconic look that they need to have on an action figure to memorialize it. Her whole look is superstar, and it's one of the moments where I think Sasha and Bianca could one day be talked about as the two biggest American women's wrestling stars ever. It's an attainable career destination. And this match was good, a strong Belair performance in her first big title defense. They were both active in good ways, and Bayley did the kind of performance that makes someone like Belair look like a strong champ. Bayley bumped big and didn't work "crazy" (I don't actually know if Bayley is supposed to be working a Woman Driven Mad gimmick right now or if she just got into large crimping and it's humid). This felt like a good showcase for Bianca, she looked like someone confident in her spots, and Bayley really knew how to make those spots look good. Very satisfying. The finish is somewhat odd with Bayley appearing to kick out, but it's a simple way to lead immediately to a good rematch that Bianca wins decisively. 

Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

ER: I've enjoyed the way these three have interacted, it's been one of the positives of 2021 WWE. They are three heavyweights who all wrestle their size, and that is going to give you a big advantage in 2021. I don't typically like three ways, but I am confident in them having a good one, all are good at coming up at ways to be out of a match and/or get someone out of a match for long stretches, and they go hard when they not the one disappeared. And this was good, because of those reasons, heavyweights crashing into each other like heavyweights. Drew had another good performance, one of the most consistent performers this year, a cool big babyface who can throw bigger guys like Braun and Lashley. Braun has never looked more cut, and Lashley has found the right way to play his personality. It's a good combo of elements for a match like this, with all men taking some good bumps and picking their moments. Braun lands on his shoulders on a couple of gnarly suplexes, Lashley flies hard into his spears, McIntyre takes a wicked Braun powerbomb through the announce table, and they do a couple of entrance ramp bumps and a big stunt spot. Now, I think the in ring stuff was much cooler than the stunt spots, because these dudes have unique things they can bring in ring. Give me more of Lashley/Drew hitting a delayed vertical suplex on Braun, please. They kept a good pace, had some impressive big man stuff, good heavyweight fight. 

Cesaro vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I thought this was a pretty great main event, the kind of match that felt like it earned its main event gravitas indulgences. This was my favorite Reigns performance of the year, a year that has been good for Roman promos but bad for Roman matches. This felt like more of a classic Roman quality main event, worked within his modern heel character. The fit felt good here, and it hasn't totally before for me. Cesaro on the other hand has a realistic claim to best in the world right now in ring, and is now doing it during one of the strongest pushes of his career. Cesaro doing his thing on the main stage is something I've wanted to see, and Reigns is someone who makes a good opponent for him. A lot of things felt big here, lots of Cesaro uppercuts that look fully absorbed by Roman, no theatrical followthrough, just Cesaro throwing his whole arm into Reigns' chest and neck. Reigns' superman punches look good in all the slo mo shots, and this match is the best kind of balance between a main event I enjoy and a main event WWE wants their wrestlers to have. It's the kind of match that looked really great in highlight form, but sustained interest over nearly a half hour. It was probably too long, but they filled the time well and everything looked snug. Roman can lose his "gotta work 25 in the main" HHH influences tomorrow and I'd be happy, but this was good. They made big suplex spots look great, crashes into barricades and posts look great, but Reigns also made so many veins pop out on Cesaro's head during a headlock choke that I thought it was going to burst. That kind of thing will always make a match kick ass, and it did. 

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2021 Ongoing MOTY List: Smackdown Fatal 4-Way

15. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode vs. Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs. Otis/Chad Gable vs. Street Profits WWE Smackdown 4/9

ER: I love when they pull off one of these fast paced quick tag escalating move matches, reminding me of the best kind of 2000s indy spot tags. Every time someone new entered the tag it felt like the wrestling version of the Soul Train dance line, each person making the most of their screen time, and yet this never felt like anyone was trying to upstage anyone else. This gave us a great sampler of dance combos the whole runtime, never lingering on one specific pair. Every combo was great, every team got cool moments. I kind of hate when Ziggler has a good match like this, where he has a cool attention to detail, and Roode has that same attention to detail in a match like this (and is less hateable than Ziggler). Both keep working from the apron when they're not in, and both do a good job cutting off the ring. Rey has looked a bit washed this year, one of those things I haven't wanted to admit, and I've been waiting for months for a REY performance. 

This really felt like a classic Rey performance, so the reports of the middle aged legend's demise have been exaggerated. His misdirection was great, and his timing was as excellent as ever. He looked like he was directing traffic in there again, and back to being the guy you had to have your eyes on at all times. Dominik is coming along well, and is improving nicely for being maybe the most prominent guy thrust straight onto TV since Maven. The spot where his dive was caught by Otis, and his big frog splash that lead to him getting squashed on a save where great moments. Dawkins had a great hot tag, Ford bumped around huge for suplexes and a Roode tornado DDT, Otis was a great base with a couple of big power moments like his 360 lariat and that pinfall save I mentioned. I also loved Ziggler going for the Famouser and the faces he and Roode made as he was caught, like when heel Ricky Morton would get caught trying a headscissors. The build throughout was great, and this whole thing felt like an overproduced HD AIW tag. 

PAS: This was pretty fun stuff, sadly a bit chopped on TV. I liked the opening with Gable working Dominik's arm, would have liked to see 90 more seconds of that matwork. I haven't been watching much WWE TV in the pandemic, but man is it great to see Rey again. He looks just as fast as always, and I really want to see more of this Otis feud they are talking about. The bang bang at the end was fun too. Montez Ford gets crazy height on all of his dives, and that frog splash was killer (although it kind of showed up Dominik's a bit). I agree that this had the feel of an AIW four way and I really miss those. 

2021 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2020 Ongoing MOTY List: Two Pre-Pandemic Smackdown Gems

24. Roman Reigns/The Usos vs. Baron Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler WWE Smackdown 1/31

ER: Super hot Friday night main event, with a Loser Eats Dog Food stipulation straight out of late 80s Memphis, enforced and hyped to a hilarious degree. A ridiculous stip taken seriously, a gigantic chili pot full of fake dog food, and Michael Cole on commentary putting over how horrific the dog food smells from ringside. It's a silly thing that they've been giving time to, and then the six men involved go out and have a seriously great territory style showdown, filled with excellent nearfalls and effective twists in momentum. The match was worked like a super professional crowd pleasing house show main event, with Roman really coming off like prime Cena. He was hitting big dramatic uppercuts, big leaping clotheslines, dodging Corbin's attacks and hitting his own while he got gigantic babyface crowd reactions for everything. Usos were pinballs and cannonballs, taking big bumps to the floor, one of them ate a spinebuster on the floor from Roode, Ziggler stayed out of things only to run in with occasional nice punches or a big bump off the apron, Roode had a bunch of great apron work, Usos hit a pair of dives that sent Roode and Ziggler flying dramatically over the announce tables, all of it played to maximum crowd effect. Roman had a couple of great nearfall kickouts, really milking a close count for peak drama, a huge Corbin spinning slam looking like a plausible ending. The layout was great, total hot match from bell to bell, with a kid humor level mid 90s feeling post match vibe. All of it worked for me.

PAS: I really enjoyed this, Eric hit the nail on the head by calling it an entertaining house show main event, which is a great match style. Ziggler as a guy who just runs in to get bumped to the floor is a perfect use of him, and Roode hit his big spinebuster on the floor which is great spot and one good spot is a great use of him. I thought Roman's timing in this ruled, he was such a good babyface worker, and new just when to land a big move or give the heels a moment. The Uso dives on to the floor were both cool too, just cleaned out the heels for the babyface to finish him off. I also loved the roll up, such a different way to end a match. The current WWE is so antiseptic and overproduced, it is cool to watch something so pro-wrestling.

40. Bayley vs. Carmella WWE Smackdown 2/14/20

ER: WWE is quietly delivering some really high end women's wrestling right under our noses this year, with a great Asuka/Natalya match early this month, and now this surprisingly great show opening title match. Just like Asuka/Natalya, this was worked unexpectedly snug, and that really elevates a match like this. This was worked like an important title match, and the fans picked up on that quickly as their reactions kept getting more and more live-or-die as the match went on. The match drew the crowd strongly enough that the crowd didn't feel the need to chant dumb stuff, they just kept reacting louder and louder to nearfalls and close victories. This was the best Carmella match I can remember, and a strong champ performance from Bayley. Both of them leaned into each other's strikes, and I really snapped up and took notice when Bayley gave a hard shove to Carmella's head and bounced it off the bottom rope. But both of them were running face first into boots, and they were setting up bigger moves with stiff shots. 

I loved when Carmella posted up in the corner to push a hard kick into Bayley's face, before hitting a rana. Carmella hit a big tope that landed most of her body on Bayley, and Bayley paid her back by trying to snap her in half with a hotshot into the announce table. The hotshot is a great move that really looks savage when you have two people like this taking it seriously. The nearfalls they built to were really strong, with the crowd reactions really ramping up when Carmella kicked out of the Bayley to Belly. The years WWE spent ending matches quickly with school boys or small packages have learned my behaviors and I always react to well done backslides or roll ups, and the crowd really buying them made me get even more into it. Carmella's great headscissor submission looked like something trippy that Negro Navarro has broken out, and I flipped out when Bayley knocked Carmella's posting arm out from under her to break it. When Carmella locked it in again moments later I thought for sure we were getting a shock title change, but Bayley got her feet on the ropes with a champ's desperate intensity to save her belt.

PAS: I may have never watched Carmella wrestle before, and without that context, I thought she looked pretty green for someone who has been wrestling for a while. This was a great Bayley carry job though, it felt like she was aware of every thing Carmella could do competently and was going to build around those spots. Sometimes it felt like Bayley was rolling up her self. It was a great rudo performance by her, down to the little tricks like hiding behind the ref to sneak in a shot. I thought this was borderline for most of the match, until that finish run, the Carmella submission was awesome looking and that counter where Bayley knocked out the base arm is the kind of little clever counter I absolutely love, and you don't see nearly enough of these days. That did it for me. 

2020 MOTY MASTER LIST

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The Horror Show at WWE Extreme Rules 7/19/20

ER: I am very interested in both women's title matches, and probably not anything else! I do have a perverse interest in how they're going to pull off the eyeball gimmick without making kids hate wrestling.


Kevin Owens vs. Murphy

ER: This was given more time than a typical pre-show match, but I liked the first half of the match a lot more than the second half. The first half was based around Owens throwing stiff strikes, hard shoulderblocks, big clotheslines, and I'd much rather see that. I get less interested by the time we have a too long fight on the top rope and the big nearfalls feel too performative. The best parts were always Owens shaking Murphy with elbows and crushing him with a cannonball, but I was less interested in seeing them have a Murphy match. It played better than a lot of that stuff, so Owens kept the floor high. A spirited and plenty hot opener, just not my preferred heat.

Tables Match: New Day (Big E/Kofi Kingston) vs. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: This was a big moments match with plenty of cool big moments. Even on moments where the set up was longer than needed, the spot wound up paying off. I liked Nakamura's logical work around the tables, saw him smartly position them a couple of times, liked how he shoved one out of the way when rolling to the floor. I loved the spot where Kingston flew to the ground and smacked face first into a table, held there like a wall by Cesaro and Nakamura. Big E's spear through the ropes to Cesaro looked as spectacular as ever, and we should celebrate that he is still doing that spot. The final table spot looked crazy, Kofi getting drilled through those tables by Cesaro is something that would have played for two years in an ECW intro. Nobody will think about this spot after a couple weeks, but it looked crazy in the moment. The spots with the tables, in the tables match, were good! So this was fine.

Nikki Cross vs. Bayley

ER: I was excited for this one and really liked the how they started it. I bought into the idea that Nikki could pull off a flash upset. Nikki was getting smart quick roll-ups and landing heavy on several straight crossbodies for nearfalls was really engaging. I like Nikki's way of not rolling through crossbodies, but actually treating it like a potential finisher by landing hard. Her crossbody off the apron to the floor was really great, and I liked Bayley being kept on the ropes. They had a couple of fun fights in the ring skirt, and I'll always react to those. But the problem is that Nikki Cross is not good in a lot of ways. It can take her forever to get into position to deliver something, which makes disbelief suspension a lot more difficult, especially since we were supposed to believe that she had the capability of surprising Bayley. She doesn't get the reactions she could on offense because she doesn't seem to know how to peak things. She has been working a vest unzip/vest removal spot for over a year now, and it's like she never quite knows how to use a proper strap removal spot within a match. She makes it look like she's just removing a piece of clothing that got in the way. This match was one I was excited for on paper, but it kind of just wound up exposing Nikki's singles match weaknesses. I'm still into the Sasha/Bayley act, and that kept the bulk of this strong.

Seth Rollins vs. Rey Mysterio

ER: I'm...not really sure how I feel about this one? It's a weird gross idea that feels hard to pull off, while also feeling like something that nobody ever asked for. Trying to stab someone in the eye is a great way to end an I Quit match, but a match where the sole focus will be on pulling out an eye? I don't know who was asking for that. I'd also be willing to bet that someone on the writing team got the idea from watching Fulci's Zombie rather than from watching Magnum/Tully. The thing is, for a match with an insane advertised conclusion, Rey busts his ass to make this work, and Rollins comes along with him. Rey was really great at inserting Rey spots in the middle of eye spots, and he takes some wild bumps to make this match feel even more dangerous. The apron falcon arrow was sick, and he was so good at working spots around turnbuckles and ring steps. Rollins was no slouch, and I liked his ringpost shoulder bump among other things, but Rey is just too good. Trying to gouge someone's eye out on the corner of a ring step is gross stuff, and Rey plays the fear of it really well. He does great with a kendo stick jammed into the corner, really going after that Fulci eye gouge where the gap between eyeball and wood slowly closes (needed more sharp jagged splintery bits). This finish is what the finish was advertised as being. Part of me thinks "Hey that owns!" It looked disgusting and Rollins throwing up after is the kind of apex to the Grand Guignol shit they have been trying to pull off in little ways. But another part of me still just finds the stip odd and unnecessary. Plus, this is a fed that chose to only use Pirata Morgan twice and was uninterested in bringing back old and crazy PCO. I'm not sure I can trust them to know how to properly book pirate Rey.

Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

ER: This was a really great match with a monumentally stupid finish. It's pretty deflating to work through such appealing match with fine drama and an exciting build, and then completely undercut every part of it with a finish that hasn't flown in 25 years. Having a ref get taken out of commission, to be replaced by a heel wearing a ref shirt, is an idea that Vince Russo buried and resuscitated hundreds of times, a man who never learned the lessons of Pet Sematary. Just a weak an unexplainable finish to be doing in 2020. But the rest was great! Sasha has been my favorite to watch weekly these past several months, and I think her and Bayley are doing a great job essentially running television. I'd much rather see them doing what they're doing, than seeing Charlotte clogging up main events. Sasha bumped huge here and really made this feel special. She flew to the floor on a charge and flew again after getting knocked off the apron by a hip attack. She kept building her bumps to mean more the deeper we got, and the way she flew into Asuka's Germans took this to another level. Sasha can come off clumsy on big bumps, but I think she's gotten so much better at body control over the years. These suplexes looked like they really folded her in half, but going back and watching them you can see her land on her back and shoulders and fold in a way that looks like she just got dumped directly on her neck. A safer bump that looks career shortening is a smart move, and it looked killer. Sasha's comebacks were good, and the Banks Statements was used really effectively. It's a great finisher that plays even better with a flexible opponent, and Asuka was really good at making it matter as she scrambled to the ropes. Both of their kicks looked good, I loved Asuka turning a Banks top rope arm drag into a nasty knee lift to the chin, I was really loving all of this. But that finish is a real deflator.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: I thought this was really good. There isn't much in WWE I am less interested in than 2020 Dolph Ziggler matches, and yet this was a great title match that made great use of an intentionally lopsided stipulation. The stip (No DQ for Ziggler) made him more interesting. Ziggler throwing chairs at someone's knee in between taking painful throws over the announce table and into hard ringside objects he set up is just going to be way better than a typical Ziggler match. Ziggler was great at turning his normally athletic bumps into actually painful bumps, and Drew was wrecking him with glee. Ziggler took a great bump into the ringpost on the floor, ate several sick belly to belly suplexes in and out of ring (a cool fast on in the ring and a wild one into/over the announce table), and my favorite was probably McIntyre's awesome vertical suplex on the floor that really splatted Ziggler. Ziggler's cut off spots were strong, and I really got into the stip of him being able to cheat to stifle any momentum. The table spot was big, and they parsed out the nearfalls to keep the excitement strong. The finish was good too, and I'm unsure if that's because it's an actual good finish or that many of the other finishes have been bad enough that a competent finish feels like visionary genius. I wouldn't have guessed this would be the strongest match of the show, but it was and that's part of the fun.

Swamp Fight

ER: WWE is aiming, or more likely only capable of reaching, for deep cut straight to Netflix horror and those movies that used to be on the bottom row of Redbox kiosks. They need to surprise us by giving us a cinematic match that is based on Portrait of a Lady on Fire. We all saw the Matt Hardy stuff several years ago and I can't get too excited these days about a weekend Friday the 13th project.


ER: The show underwhelmed and underdelivered, but Asuka/Banks gave us a really good 15 minutes and McIntyre/Ziggler was an unexpectedly strong showing. Rey had a great performance in a weird situation, and other than the Swamp Fight the floor was high. But the show also felt a lot longer than it actually was. And that kind of speaks to the weirdness of this show. A show with a strong men's title match, a strong women's match, and a great Rey performance feels like a show I'd leave behind fondly. And yet we're here.

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WWE Big 3 Returns! Lorcan, Gallagher, GULAK 5/24-6/7/20

Battle Royal WWE Smackdown 5/29

ER: Drew Gulak has not had great luck in battle royals during his WWE tenure, but he's always a good presence in a battle royal. Here he is mostly on the defensive, but I like how he hooks his leg over the bottom rope while trying to eliminate guys from the apron, mostly locked in a battle with Cesaro. I will always love battle royal spots where one man is on the apron and someone in ring is pushing boot to throat, and Gulak is great at hanging on while Cesaro pushes that boot under his chin.  It feels like a good idea for me to make a couple keyboard shortcuts for Gulak, one of them being "would have liked to see this go longer but", as I was foolishly thinking his return after not taking a weak offer was going to turn into one of those weird Vince "this guy stood up to me and now I respect him" kind of situations, and I would have like more of him with Corbin. Corbin and Gulak had a good match on Smackdown last month, and Bryan had a great match with Corbin, along with a great trios. So they were keeping that Cesaro/Nakamura/Corbin feud going with Gulak and it would have been cool to see that go in Gulak's favor. But I also like Gulak taking a huge hiptoss to elimination, so oh well. As for non-Gulak people, Dolph Ziggler continued to show that his greatest strength is as a guy who comes very close to being eliminated from battle royals before eventually dying on his elimination bump. This was a decent enough battle royal.


Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch vs. vs. Roderick Strong/Bobby Fish vs. Tyler Breeze/Fandango NXT 6/3

ER: I wish this got twice the time it did, because I loved what these guys were bringing. The structure was tough to follow as it was a 3 way tag, meaning three guys were in the ring at all times, except for half of the match you had both members of UE in there and after awhile everyone was involved. Typing that out makes it sound like this was a mess and that guys would constantly be getting in each other's way, but somehow this was worked with precision. Everyone (except maybe Fish?) was working snug, and with nearly everyone involved at all times I thought they did a killer job of always giving everyone something to do. Burch is like an old man luchador as he seems to get better the higher up his trunks go, and here he at later career Villano III levels of trunk height (he really needs to pace himself as he's the same age as me, meaning those trunks will be over his tits by age 48, way too soon). Three way exchanges can be clunky and tired, but Burch was in their keeping things moving and mixing up strikes, throwing in a hard headbutt to make sure the exchange never approached rote, hard dropkick, throwing a surprise back elbow at Fish on the apron (which was paid off nicely when Fish laid him out on the floor later), and running interference for Lorcan's hot tag. Strong was a great pinball for Breeze and Burch, and I like that he took over when he just said fuck it and had Fish come in the ring full time. Fandango's hot tag was cool, totally forgot he had a cool snap powerslam and after he broke off the second one I kinda just wanted him to keep going. Lorcan's hot tag obviously ruled, with him flying into everyone with chops and elbows. Love how he flew into one corner with an uppercut, and cleared his path with an elbow on his way back to throw an uppercut in the opposite corner. Fandango tossing him over the top into most of the guys was done really well, but everything here was done well. With just a couple more minutes this could have been list, and it really wasn't far away as is.


Drew Gulak vs. AJ Styles WWE Smackdown 6/5

ER: Hot little Nitro match with both working quick to make up for the time. Styles always tightens things up when working against guys like Gulak. Not that Styles is out here showing daylight every other week, but he's also not throwing corner punches or aiming lariats at throats like he did against Gulak here. I like how Gulak recognized Styles' aggression early and started turning that into submission attempts, running Styles' into the mat with his cool crossface variation. Both guys got bounced off their head and shoulders in uncool ways: Styles shoving Gulak down into a backbreaker that bounced his head to the mat was probably my favorite moment of the match, and Gulak pays him back late with his cool drop down Michinoku driver variation. A fired up Gulak is quite a thing, and he really crushed AJ down the stretch with a dropkick that looked like it would have staggered anyone on the roster, big clothesline and an even bigger corner clothesline, and he knew exactly how snug to hold that pinfall. I had the weird hunch Gulak was winning here, and I'm happy he got the win with no kind of shenanigans, just outsmarting Styles and beating him to the punch.


Oney Lorcan vs. Tehuti Miles 205 Live 6/5

ER: I've been enjoying Tehuti on 205, he's the newest 205 guy who doesn't actually work like a cruiserweight. I like his brand of minimalism, and really enjoyed his Tyler Breeze match from a couple weeks ago. This match is built around the simple premise that Danny Burch kicked Miles around the ring last week, but Miles won with a schoolboy while grabbing the trunks. Someone who does a schoolboy with a handful of trunks on the show hyped entirely around the spectacular things that smaller wrestlers can do in the ring is someone I'm going to enjoy. This whole thing is worked simply, like a fun house show match where the goal is to pay off the simple story they broadly presented to the crowd. There's a reason that simplicity works. Lorcan uses almost entirely chops - and one wicked knee to the gut - to start and finish, hitting our story note early when Miles bails to the floor after taking some chops, gets stopped by Burch, then turns around into another Lorcan chop. The camera work was surprisingly good (because it was actually different) during Miles' control, and I especially liked the camera zooming in on Lorcan's face when Miles was scraping it with his boot in the corner. Miles drops some nice elbowdrops and works a cool Fujiwara armbar, then of course tries to win a handful of tights. This got a lot of time and I'm sure there was a better match they could have had, as neither guy was bringing out his biggest guns. But I liked the simple storytelling, Burch yelling about the pulled tights leading to Lorcan rolling Miles up with a prawn hold, and I like when guys work a more bare match like this. It's cool seeing wrestlers boiled down to their basics, and I'd love to see them build off of it.


Jack Gallagher vs. Isaiah Scott 205 Live 6/5

ER: This felt really scattered but always threatening to get really good, and the most successful moments were typical for Scott matches: whenever he drops the unnecessary embellishments things look better. This had a lot of Scott embellishments, and it played more like a Scott showcase than an actual match. And that's kind of what it feels like EVERY time we get a Gallagher/Scott match. Gallagher is great at working style clashes, but against Scott you never get enough "clash", you get guys waiting around for Scott to finish his windmill backspins so he can finally hit his headscissors. There were at least four different moments where Gallagher had to pause and leave a limb out for Scott to finish his embellished sequence, or stop short because he arrived at the right time for a sequence but Scott wasn't done with his handstand. Gallagher would try to drop interesting threads into the match, and Scott would make sure they'd go nowhere. I got excited for the moments that felt like the change was happening, like Gallagher wasting Scott's time avoiding him on the apron, only to grab his leg and yank it through the turnbuckles. But those moments where quickly forgotten in favor of Scott working so so armbars. When he toned down the BS it got good, and Gallagher's adjustments to go briefly into control were cool. I loved Gallagher leaping into a guillotine to drop Scott to a knee, or Gallagher working a side headlock on the top freaking rope, and reversing a big backdrop suplex into a hard landing crossbody. But you take a cool moment like that, and it instantly looks more silly with Scott kicking all four of his limbs like an upturned turtle. There was plenty to like here, but the main thing that hurt this match was that it never felt like a match, it just felt like Scott doing Scott things.

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WrestleMania 36 Night 2 Live Blog

Big shoes to fill on Night 2, and if tonight is anywhere near as entertaining as Night 1 then I will be a happy camper. This does not have Gulak or Bryan on it, and it does have The Fiend, so the odds are stacked against Night 2. Still, I'm excited for the Brock match and weirdly excited for Otis/Dolph (because Otis is my boy).


Natalya vs. Liv Morgan

ER: This was good, but felt like it really needed Liv Morgan to make all of Natalya's stuff work. Natalya got to drive a lot of this with her offense, but I don't think her offense would have come off as well without Liv's selling. Liv's screaming and grunt selling was much better than Seth Rollins' weird pleasure moans, and I thought Liv worked sequences much tighter than some other Natalya opponents. Natalya has been working the exact same sequences for years now, so it's really easy to see what different opponents bring to a "Natalya match". Earlier this year when it was Asuka's turn, she chose to just beat the hell out of Natalya. Liv plays underdog and her roll ups all looked really tight and well placed throughout. She let Natalya work through her few pieces of offense (and I do like when it looks like Natalya really stomps vertebrae when she does her stepover to seated dropkick combo). I thought Liv's quick pins were peppered nicely throughout and I like the way she built to her finish. Nice opener, but after their high end performance in last month's Chamber match it's pretty messed up that Ruby Riott and Sarah Logan aren't on the show, but fucking TAMINA is.


Charlotte Flair vs. Rhea Ripley

ER: This is the brightest color I have ever seen on Ripley, but she pulls it off. And I thought the bulk of this match was great. I don't always love big match Charlotte, and just as I didn't like Kevin Owens' overproduced "How this for a WrestleMania moment?!" I didn't not like some of Charlotte's bad trash talk. But the work itself was super strong, especially every single attack Charlotte threw at Ripley's leg. Every pump kick, every awesome chop block, that nasty leg snap over the top rope, they all landed hard and the way Ripley sold them really made them even better. Ripley's leg buckling totally made this, as several of them looked like she was coming out of this with a torn ACL. I loved it. They held up extremely well on slo mo replays too, so maybe Charlotte was just trying to take out Ripley's knee. Ripley sold really well throughout, though she didn't seem to be laying into Charlotte to the same degree. Still, the stuff like her big dropkick to Charlotte's face worked well, and her short arm clotheslines looked and sounded great with the arena acoustics. And just like I thought Ripley's selling was good, Charlotte's selling off strikes was great. Early on Ripley kicked her while in a tree of woe and Charlotte was convincing enough to make me think she took an errant shot to the throat; later she got dropped in a pancake and Charlotte sold it like she chipped her veneers. The only thing that really hurt this for me was that Charlotte always wins, and from a storyline perspective it probably would have been better if Ripley had looked a little more dominant. Charlotte trashing her throughout for being a lesser champ and then just beating her fair and square doesn't leave a whole lot left to explore. Still, the work here was strong (even if it probably went a little long) and I probably nitpicked a bit much considering how much I loved all he stuff with Rhea's leg.


Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley

ER: Has Lana even been on TV since that abortion of an angle that everyone knew would be awful from miles away? Is there a reason these two are fighting or is this just one of those "getting people on the show" matches. Is Lashley a secret member of The Skulk and is trying to pay Black back for the Black Mass he laid on Leon Ruff a couple weeks ago? I could not get into this one, no matter how cool I thought Lashley looked in black and gold tights. This is a 2nd hour Raw match that showed up on WrestleMania for some reason. Lashley looked good, Black looked good, but it's weird something like this is on the show getting more time than something brilliant like Gulak/Cesaro.


Dolph Ziggler vs. Otis

ER: I've actually been into the Otis/Mandy stuff so this was one of the Night 2 matches I've been looking for. But I'm not sure how good of a friend Sonya is if she was trying to trick her friend into a relationship with Dolph Ziggler of all people. Sonya is the friend who would convince her Ted Bundy's car is a way quicker way home than the subway. One real annoying thing about Ziggler is that he wrestles every match the same, no matter the circumstances. He went for the same kind of layout here as he has in any other match this month, a guy who will go out and work the same match regardless of stakes. I liked all of the work from both, but outside of the actual involvement of Mandy and Sonya this didn't feel like they had been through any kind of personal drama. Dolph flew around nicely once Otis made his comeback, smashing his face into the middle buckle off a catapult, running hard into the buckles on Irish whips, and I loved Otis throwing him to the floor with a fallaway slam and smashing him with a great lariat. The finish was the easiest way to wrap this, and I had been wondering why Mandy wasn't out there from the beginning anyway. It was all pretty basic but the match itself just didn't feel like anything that was built to, and it should have. And if Otis has any doubts whether Mandy likes him or not, the fact she kissed him on the mouth during a pandemic should be a real confidence booster.


Edge vs. Randy Orton

ER: I had forgotten this was Last Man Standing and that makes me even less interested. It feels like the counts have gotten slower and slower on those, and it always takes me WAY out of a match when every time someone takes a back bump we get 15 seconds of paused action. Also, lol at Edge working a match with like three people at ringside, and not doing a quick check to make sure the guy who frequently hides to sneak attack people is not one of them. And just like the Boneyard Match was so insanely good and infinitely better than an actual in-ring Taker/Styles match would have been, THIS match would have benefitted from ANY other format. A 10 minute in ring match between them, with each doing the same spots they did in any of their matches 15 years ago, would have been so much better. Because folks, this was bad. And I thought it actually had some promise early on, because Randy was throwing hard right hands and Edge had a bunch of actually painful looking clubbing offense. But this whole thing weirdly played out like they were doing it all live, because you assume had it been taped in advance that this would have been edited down to at LEAST half the runtime. And the crazy thing is that you know this actually WAS edited. A group of people watched THIS and thought they had kept it tight enough. Which means that the original match was probably somehow EVEN LONGER. This came off like a joke brawl that they forgot to write jokes into, and the longer it went on the longer it felt like they were just playing a prank on anybody who actually works in the Performance Center. How many disinfectant wipes are going to be needed to clean off all the surfaces these sweaty germ machines are carrying? Also, the announcers have been yelling over everything on both nights and suddenly they decide this match to speak in hushed whispers, probably because drama and acting like this shouldn't be distracted from.

I actually like a LOT of the landings in this match, and thought Edge was throwing some of his best actual strikes. He was always a lousy striker, and here it looked like he was really battering Orton's chest and ribs. The problem is the stipulation lead to an abundance of moments that relied on the acting of both men, and Edge is one of the worst actors in wrestling history. The drama required to make a 30+ minute match work was not going to be found in Orlando this evening. And I typed all of this before the referee tried to reason with Orton. THAT right there might be the dumbest thing I've seen in wrestling. "Randy come on, he has a family!" Hey dummy, if either of them actually cared about their families they wouldn't have subjected them to any part of this match. This was abysmal, they didn't have nearly enough decent ideas to justify a match even half as long as this, and as predicted the Last Man Standing stip made a long match into Shoah. Every single person involved in the making and execution of this match made exclusively wrong choices.


Angel Garza/Austin Theory vs. Street Profits

ER: Another match that felt like a 2nd hour Raw match, nothing at stake, nothing that made this felt like it was a "big show" match. Garza hits a nice moonsault to the floor, Ford does a nice tope on hilo that was caught almost entirely by Dawkins, and I guess I'm wondering what Austin Theory was supposed to bring to this? If this past week has taught me one thing, it's that Austin Theory not only cannot catch a dive, but there's a chance he might not actually know what a dive is. I guess he can jump high? This would have been more interesting as a 6 man with Vega and Bianca added to the match itself.


Sasha Banks vs. Lacey Evans vs. Tamina vs. Naomi vs. Bayley

ER: Again, I must point out that Ruby Riott and Sarah Logan both actually looked great at Elimination Chamber and somehow they're not on the show but TAMINA is in the title picture. Matches with odd number participants always have an uphill battle, they easily could have just had Riott and Logan in this one and Tamina could have watched at home. Tamina is always put into these situations where she gets all her offense in one clump right up front, before everybody teams up to get rid of her, and they always do that because Tamina has somehow been on the roster for a DECADE and still gets crossed up doing one minute of offense. So this marks yet another time where they bring back Tamina, immediately insert her into a big match, but seemingly realize that she is still actually bad and get her out of there right away. It's easy a "what does she have on Vince?" joke, but it has to be something. It can't just be weird family murder cover-up loyalty, because we never got a decade of Deuce getting put into title matches. And Tamina was just one part of what made this not work. Nearly everyone in it was made to look like a chump: Naomi's great comeback reactions from earlier this year seem like a distant memory, Bayley retaining after she's already shown to be a completely uninteresting champ, Sasha loses at Mania again, etc. The only interesting thing was the interaction between Sasha and Bayley, I actually loved their moments of working together. Sasha coming back at the end to help Bayley in spite of getting eliminated by a nice Evans' Woman's Right. Also I watched this match after watching a feature length Edge movie, so now I'm just grumpy.


Firefly FunHouse

ER: This show has been terrible, I mean the attitude I had when watching Charlotte shoulder tackle feels like hours ago. This show desperately needed HUGE performances from this match and Brock/McIntyre, and seeing Bray Wyatt come up when your team is one out from elimination is the last thing you wanted to see. But then this match goes out and has their Travis Ishikawa in the 9th moment, and has the first actual creative and fun segment of The Fiend gimmick's lifespan. Cena being Luke Skywalker battling his demons on Dagobah was highly entertaining, and wonderfully different from the Boneyard Match. John Cena reliving his greatest failures and greatest successes was tremendous, and the editing of all the old footage integrated it was fantastic. John Cena whiffing on Ruthless Aggression punches, getting cricket sound effect reactions opposite his best rhymes, and him acting like a malfunctioning Ultimate Warrior robot on Saturday Night's Main Event were just some of the great moments, WWE improbably coming up with two outrageously entertaining cinematic matches on back to back nights. Seriously, John Cena doing lightning fast curls had me in stitches, and if they had smoke come out of his ears I probably would have howled. Just like the Boneyard Match, just think how lame this would have been as a straight match. Instead, this was awesome, and hey, it was a third the length of one of the worst segments in Mania history. I can't believe they did it, but they did it.


Drew McIntyre vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: This was a good moment for Drew, and it's cool that they're going through with it for him. He's been a good soldier and them getting behind him would be cool. And I love Brock, but I think he really needs a crowd to mock and feed off of. Brock crowds always react, even on the coldest shows. Brock gets noise, and Brock reacts great to noise. He's great at reading a room, and he's incredibly fun to watch which he reads a room, and this had no room. Brock has crafted several excellent and unique matches built around finisher spamming, but two guys trading finishers in an empty room just kind of feels like move practice after awhile. You need that reaction of shock, you need that excitement. When the whole story of the match is "It is shocking that this guy kicked out of this" over and over, you need to hear shock. I don't think this kind of match was going to work here, in this situation. I think this match probably would have worked really well with a stadium of people living and dying with it, and I wish I could have seen that version. This was just a longer Goldberg/Braun, and Brock can have a much better match than that.


Well this show was nowhere close to Night 1, and without THE FIEND match - of all things - it would have been one of the weakest cards of the past couples years. But the stupid Firefly FunHouse put a big smile on my face, and left me on the other side feeling positive about all of it. We endured whatever that Edge/Randy Orton match was, we slayed that dragon together. We experienced that shit together, and it was maybe the most united I've ever seen wrestling fans. And in 10 years, if one person tries to nostalgia gif us with "You know what match never got respect but was actually great" posts, that person will get collectively shouted down and humiliated by every person who lived through that in real time.

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WWE Summerslam 8/11/19 (Not at ALL) Live Report

ER: I've had an unexpectedly long, very much trash day, so am not *really* in the mood to go through this show. But it's good to commit to things, so forgive me if I do not commit to watching some of the matches I'm unexcited for while battling the now-unusable WWE Network.

Drew Gulak vs. Oney Lorcan

ER: Yes sir. This was what got me excited for this card. And there is nothing else that can happen on this card that will take this match away from me. This ruled, and was a killer showcase for both men. We were so excited seeing TAKA Michinoku doing quebradas on WWF TV 20 years ago, so excited for cruiserweight wrestling on our TVs, and now we have evolved to TV cruiserweight wrestling being two guys ripping at beards and punching throats. Look at the things we as a people can do. This was an unhurried an unsanitized version of what these two can do, and it got to happen on (the undercard) of one of the biggest shows of the year, and that's a very cool thing. It was a tidy 9 minutes filled with a dozen cool ideas, and just made me want to see them match up a dozen more times. Gulak slams Lorcan into the ropes in a flat out sinister way, and is practically inventing cruel subs to try to trap him in. Lorcan's aggression is his double edged sword. He flies into everything with abandon, which allowed him to come so close to beating Gulak, but it also meant he lost to Gulak. These guys made me buy into everything they did, moves had consequences, actions lead to finishes. Gulak took on the persona of a big brother who picked on his little brother too long and accidentally pushed him over the edge, and it was great. The look on Gulak's face as Lorcan is grabbing him by the fucking beard and muzzle and slapping him was classic. Both read naked choke spots were great, with the first looking like a genuine finish as Lorcan is not close to the ropes, and Gulak drags the arm closest to the ropes back across Lorcan's throat. That they went back to it soon after and created an organic Lorcan false win showed they understand their characters and the match they were having 100%. I loved Lorcan flipping out of that rear naked and almost getting the "fluke" pin, everything they had done made that finish an absolute possibility. Lorcan's flying uppercuts are a thing of beauty, and I'm not sure I've seen someone just lean into them standing the way Gulak did. It's one of those spots that somehow made both men look tougher, Lorcan flying into Gulak and Gulak absorbing the shots but refusing to show ass. And the finish was great, with Gulak being drug into the ring holding onto the ring skirt for dead life, then at the earliest opening just punching Lorcan in the throat and hitting the neckbreaker. Lorcan's sell of his throat was palpable, and I just want to see these guys continue to crush every opportunity they're given.

Apollo Crews vs. Buddy Murphy

ER: Damn, I thought this was really cool. On paper this didn't do much for me, and it got ended after just a few minutes with a big boss Rowan run in, but I liked what they did with their allotted time. They knew that had 4 minutes to make an impression, and they did! Murphy attacked at the bell with a running knee, making me think it was actually going to be a 5 second match, and the rest played out like a cool Worldwide match. Crews got a couple big throws and showed off his leaps, we got a couple cool things on the floor like Crews getting run into the steps and Murphy hitting a big flip dive, and with that opening knee the whole thing felt like it could end at any time. That's a cool vibe for a match with essentially no stakes. I would actually like to see more of this. And by that I mean more of these guys, making unimportant matches feel important. More guys on the roster should actually work like it matters.

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Iiconics

ER: Damn, not only is Colin Delaney better than a large % of WWE's active roster, but now Alexa Bliss is robbing the Buzz Lightyear aesthetic? Give Delaney the run he deserves, you cowards. But I think this match had a lot to like. Iiconics are like a really great WoW team, with similar WoW wrestling ability. I genuinely get excited to see them when they come out, and don't really care that they don't always look great in ring. They entertain me. This match had a couple nice nearfall saves, and Royce catching Alexa's boots in the corner only to get sent absolutely wobbly with an elbow was a fantastic moment. I thought Royce's crumple sell was the best, and the whole spot worked because it was an appropriate sell for the strike. This was quick, fun, and made me appreciate what the Iiconics bring to a telecast even more.

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

ER: I do not fucking care that they are in Canada, it is flat out bullshit that Natalya gets trotted out there entering AFTER the champ. Being Canadian is the one thing Natalya has going for her in this one, and I fully respect this Toronto crowd not giving one shit about Natalya being born thousands of miles away. If WWE actually got self aware and turned Natalya's insufferable nature into her onscreen character (I mean, intentionally), it could actually be good. If we are going to be plagued with Natalya, use her natural unlikability. And I liked this! I didn't really love the finishing stretch, as it was essentially just both getting put all the way into submissions and screaming a lot because they are all the way into a submission, but then just getting out of them and putting their own full submission on. Lynch gets put in a sharpshooter for the better part of a minute, and reverses it by just locking in the Disarm-her and not acknowledging any of the actual work that she's been through. I had a hunch this stip was going to be hard to actually pull off, but it worked better than I thought it would. The work getting to the finish was fun. I liked Natalya's turnbuckle sharpshooter, the superplex looked great, I liked the work around the arm, and thought they moved interestingly into submissions (like Natalya catching Lynch's kick in the corner to slam her leg into the mat). There was a weird moment where Becky was in a sub while her feet where completely hanging off the ring, and another where she was flat out crawling down the side of the ring in a sub, but the ref wasn't breaking the hold. This wasn't No DQ, right? There are still rules. Those kind of things bugged me in the match, but the match still delivered stronger than I was expecting. Toronto fans are sellouts for eventually rooting for Natalya. How low can you get? I understand pride in your country, but have a spine, Canada.

Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: For some reason I knew they would nail this one. And I am a total rube, because I actually fully bought into that opening match superkick. I don't know why, that just felt like something that could happen, and I dug it. This was worked exactly how it should have been: a couple superkicks, a spear for the ages, big Jackhammer, and Dolph hilariously talking shit after the match to his own detriment. These kind of pieces really liven up a card, really give us a different mix of energy, and this was an easy win.

Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

ER: I cannot remember the last match involving these two that I enjoyed as much as this one. This was incredibly fun, innovative, and economical. It took a simple story of Styles taking out Ricochet's knee, while Ricochet fought through not only that bum wheel but also attempted to fend off Gallows and Anderson. And it worked great! Styles does some nasty things to the knee, and Ricochet hops around that ring on one leg like he was Zack Gowen. AJ would kick his leg out and Ricochet would spill out spectacularly but fight back valiantly. I really liked Ricochet's aggression, made him come off real tough and AJ was good at taking advantage of opportunities. The one legged springboard crossbody was a coconuts thing to pull out, and I liked when Ricochet would deliver a kick but then have to deal with his knee going out. Ricochet made all of AJ's offense look finisher worthy; I don't know if I've seen anyone snap his neck like that on AJ's fireman's carry drop on his knee. The finish was wild, with Ricochet ducking and diving and kicking Anderson/Gallows away, only for AJ to catch his dragon rana and plant him with the Styles Clash. This was super effective, and was able to have a match filled with back and forth action without it ever feel like move trading. This card has been delivering on best case scenarios so far.

Bayley vs. Ember Moon

ER: Man I thought this ruled, too! There is something in the water in Toronto tonight, as I have seen several people on this card now have their most interesting matches in ages. Everybody looks like they're trying to stand out on a card filled almost exclusively with singles matches, and so far, everybody is doing just that. Moon was throwing heavy strikes, kneeing Bayley in the back, jamming her knee in with a bow and arrow, did cool things like break a Boston crab by striking at Bayley's leg,  hit a nice big rana off the top and followed it up with knees to the face. Moon looked like someone that should have a belt, and Bayley had her tightest performance that I can remember. Bayley had a match against Ronda earlier this year that I adored, and I think Bayley has looked sloppy as hell ever since. But I liked her here. The top rope Bayley to Belly was cool as hell, and it was a nice follow up from her nice superplex earlier in the match. And she kept throwing nice cut off strikes throughout, hitting a sharp elbow to the back of Moon's head, stopping a tope with a forearm, focused one shot attacks to stop Moon's flurries. This was another match that over delivered, a sentence I should have just been copying and pasting by this point.

Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens

ER: No time, no time, no time.

Trish Stratus vs. Charlotte Flair

ER: So if my continued use of the word "overdeliver" hadn't convinced you yet, not a soul among you would have guessed this match would be as entertaining as it ended up being. Trish has only a few matches over the past year, and certainly not enough ring time to think she could have a fun 15+ minute match. This was about as miracle match as you can get, and it's great that someone would work this hard to go out in what is probably the best singles match of her career. There were moments she moved a little slower than someone more active, but I thought she did great overall. She added a few painful bumps (loved her big back bump off the buckles to the floor, no non-wrestler needs to be taking drops like that), and she brought big match emotion to something that could have been a real mess. Charlotte handled the match incredibly well, finding the exact notes to hit so that this was not only a successful retirement match for a legend, but it never looked like she was working elderly Baba. Trish didn't get spared for being a non-regular, but Trish has always been good about leaning into everything (remember, this is a Finlay trainee we're talking about here!). The powerbomb turned into a rana off the top rope was an awesome moment, thought Charlotte looked so cool climbing up top with her entire face obscured by the body of Stratus. Stratus got to shine and took a bunch of bumps, Charlotte got to help a WWE legend shine while looking no worse for wear, the whole thing should NOT have worked this well. Full respect for both for putting this together, fuller respect for Trish for going out on top.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

ER: I'm sure they did just fine.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

ER: I thought this was fine, although it might have been a tough part of the card to be put on. I have no real dog in this fight, but I dug the weird Bray Wyatt head lantern, and the match itself was short and sweet.

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

ER: My god Paul Heyman has hit 1.0 on the Sorrell Booke scale. The fact he isn't in a white suit means that he has failed every single boy in the back, and every one of those boys has failed him. And this match? Yes yes yes yes YES! What kind of sweaty sorcery has consumed Brock Lesnar, having excellent singles matches with Finn Balor and Seth Rollins in one calendar year? This whole thing ruled, and it wasn't just Brock. Seth threw everything he had at him, and the quantity over quality approach worked, while his ragdoll crumpling body after suplexes was perfect. Lesnar was great at being vulnerable here, he made superkicks interesting and bounced his head off the mat several different ways while taking curb stomps throughout. When he went on offense he looked powerful in a different way than normal. His Germans looked faster and thrown at a lower angle than they typically are, and his rollthroughs after them were smooth as hell. Brock is great at working non-weapon objects into a match, things like angrily removing his gloves, or even running full speed into the ringpost, or even better catching Rollins on a dive and running him as hard as humanly possible into the ringpost, he knows how to integrate available objects in really cool ways that always make a match feel different. I think Brock is fantastic at selling and moving in a way that nobody else in wrestling does, the way he stumbles around and takes non-canon WWE bumps that aren't just fast flat back bumps, it makes all of his matches even more unique than they already are. He took spills for Rollins and always stumbled into taking Rollins' sometimes questionable offense in such a way that he looked beatable. The layout of this was so good, easily the best Rollins match of the year (and probably the best Rollins match of the past three years). I thought this was excellent.


ER: Well, I did a little personal editing to skip past a couple things that didn't interest me, but had I watched them and they were awful, I still would have loved this show. This show started with a great Gulak/Lorcan match and finished with a great Brock/Rollins match, and kept me entertained the entire time in between. This was an awesome show, one that on paper looked flat out bizarrely stuffed with almost all singles matches. It would have been very easy for this show to feel overly same-y, yet I thought everyone on this card did a great job of filling a different niche. Great time all around, great card.

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WWE Money in the Bank 2017 Not Live Blog

I was up at my folks' place swimming all day today (it's 108 degrees here right now) so got home as the PPV was finishing, still thought I would do a write up.

1. The Colons vs. Hype Bros.

ER: PPV Pre show delivers again, these guys all have that 8 minute pre show timing down. Colons are a really good team and I'm glad they stick around. Epico has chubbed up a bit and that just makes me love him more. They craft some nice stuff around taking apart Ryder's leg, I always like the ankle DDT spot. Mojo has a decent hot tag and things peak right at the finish, with Mojo hitting lariats and shoulderblocks and absolutely splatting one of the Colons, which lead to a nice last split second save. Ryder comes in limping and hits a nasty broski boot and gets crazy height on the rough ryder leg drop lariat. This was a fine opener.

2. Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Tamina vs. Carmella vs. Natalya

ER: Tamina has the least flattering ring gear possible. It looks like they took Viscera's old gear and hemmed it. Rachel thinks Charlotte needs to wear some sort of short skirt with her gear, as she finds Charlotte's lack of hips distracting. I'm digging the early parts of this, nice basic ladder stuff. Charlotte nastily bulldogs Tamina into a ladder, Becky and Natalya ram a ladder into her stomach, nice ladder as weapon stuff. Loved Carmella trapping Charlotte's leg in the ladder and lobbing back elbows. Becky climbs a ladder seemingly just to get rana'd off by Carmella. Carmella leans out of a Charlotte yakuza kick. Charlotte takes a sick bump off the ladder from a nice Tamina headbutt. That spear spot right after could not have been uglier. They don't go through, then take forever to continue unnaturally falling to the floor. Tamina takes a nice backwards bump over some ring steps. And my oh my that match finish is incredibly uninspired. "Women can do anything!" Except that one woman needs to help of the literal lowest man on the WWE totem pole to win. And the crowd was clearly expecting things to get reversed or the result thrown out, and it drug on for awhile, and it never got thrown out. This was not very good, that ending felt like it came way early. Even if they wanted this specific finish, they could have done it while making Carmella look better, have her ordering Ellsworth to run distraction for her while she climbs for the case. Something.

3. New Day vs. Usos

ER: Heel Usos are awesome, love Big E, and Kofi bumps his way crazily into my heart by going high and fast to the floor off an Uso low bridge, then gets leveled by an Uso lariat. Usos really ragdoll Kofi around and I have high hopes for this Big E hot tag (earlier he hit his awesome apron splash), and the Usos keep cutting that damn ring off. The hot tag itself was fun, E hits three big belly to bellys, and the spear to the floor is still nutso. Kofi and an Uso both go for kicks and get tangled up in kind of a fun way. The end run has a scary moment where E is supposed to catch Jey out of the air to do a powerslam but Jey falls past him and easily could have gone face first into the mat. They awkwardly do the spot as planned, which involves Jey climbing up onto E. But the pinfall save after they finally do the spot is excellent. Things heat up nicely after that, Usos with another big save, Kofi hits a sweet trust fall dive to the floor...and then Usos just leave with the belts and get counted out. Dude. These finishes are making me salty.

4. Naomi vs. Lana

ER: OOF Lana has some all time bad entrance music. It sounds like a song someone took minutes to make in Mario Paint, just a looped drum beat and sax riff. Lana's movements in the ring are somewhat clunky, but I think she's a total win as a sexy crowbar. Her snap suplexes into the ring ropes were killer, and her little crescent kick through the ropes as Naomi was pulling herself up was nice, and I think she's pretty good at occupying herself and selling during Naomi's wrist-held high kicks. I think the Carmella mid match entrance worked, as she's now just looming with the threat of the stupid briefcase, though I think they went to the finish too quick after that, no momentum was built back up. The finishing submission looked good, but the heat went down with the Carmella entrance. I liked Lana in this, think she looked better than Tamina has ever looked.

And Mike Bennett/Maria are now in WWE and get a debut on a PPV? Have they been in NXT or something? Maria as a character has never done a thing for me, but I'm mildly amused at Mike taking her last name. I'll give both of them credit for however they keep getting paid TV gigs, but I'm not too excited to see them work.

5. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

ER: This all starts off good, both guys are working to not show light on strikes, Orton's stomps looked good, Jinder working as a great overpowering juiced up bully, taunting Orton Sr., throwing on a figure 4 in front of Flair; now I want him to do the Baron's claw and some high Gagne dropkicks. This whole thing progressed nicely and then hit a way-too-long Singh Bros. removal...but then we get Orton recklessly throwing them around again (slightly less reckless than last month), and in keeping with the bad finish theme of this show, that insanely long Singh Bros. interlude then leads to Orton losing the match the exact same way he lost the last match. I mean everything played out almost exactly the same. This match started quite good and then went the way of the others. This isn't that good of a show.

6. Breezango vs. Ascension

ER: Dude the Ascension are guys getting in on main show PPV matches!! What a truly unexpected match on this show. I watch Smackdown, have they even been on in the last month? Well, no matter, I actually like Vikto and he confirms my like by hitting a cool jumping knee to Breeze. Breeze takes offense really great, he'll lean up into an elbowdrop and take fast bumps to the floor, sell your resthold for you. Connor also wins me over by having huge muttonchops and hitting a fucking boss spinebuster. Weird match to show up on a PPV, but both teams looked good.

7. Money in the Bank Ladder Match: AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs.  Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Big spots to start, Corbin working stiff, and I finally got invested when Dolph ran up a ladder to the ring apron to swipe AJ's legs in the middle of a springboard, like his own stupid ladder Hamburger Hill. I'm so sick of Zayn and Owens matching up, but Zayn at least will take a couple stupid bumps in a big (or small) match. Styles is out of this for too long as when he comes back in you suddenly realize that the energy of that match had been missing. Styles immediately makes the match more interesting, and Dolph awesomely climbs OVER Corbin on the ladder. And Dolph kind of continues worming his way back into my good graces by punching Zayn a bunch right in the fucking ear, while on the top of a ladder. And huge props to him for somehow taking the safest possible bump off a sunset flip powerbomb off said ladder. I mean that as a genuine compliment, the bump looked nasty but you could tell he took it right. It's a good skill. We somehow get a fucking nalf nelson suplex head drop ON THE RING APRON on a WWE PPV. WWE is now a 2001 Dateline NBC Backyard Wrestling highlight package. I now want them to do a tailbone shattering guillotine legdrop off Zayn's stepmom's house. I want Owens to give Zayn a burning hammer on a public park picnic table. Styles is really good at leaping off of ropes and crashing into people. He has precision "crash into stuff" skills. Styles leaping into that chokeslam was great, and Corbin plants him with one. Owens takes a Styles death valley driver off the apron through a set up ladder and holy shit all these guys are insane. This is a fucking amazing IWA Mid-South match right here. Dolph pulls the ladder out from AJ and AJ does all these great "hanging from the case" spots, trying to climb to his safety, trying to get over it for leverage to unhook the case, hanging from the case itself and scrambling to yank it down instead of unhook it; it felt like a bunch of cool tricks that Bill Dundee would work into a gimmick match. Nakamura finally comes back after being jumped pre-bell, and in a cool moment the fans continue singing his entrance music when it gets cut off, and he runs wild with a fresh man hot tag. He throws knees, boots Dolph in the face on a corner charge, kicks more face, knees Owens in the face, does enough in 1 minute to make me blow up. AJ and Nak get a cool little action movie stand off that made both seem like major guys, peering through the ladder at each other like Travolta and Cage in FaceOff. Great fistfight at the top of the ladder with those two...and then Baron Corbin wins it. Wow. Did not expect that...but I like it! Corbin coming out and taunting the champ with the case, playing mind games, would actually give him something to do instead of "This guy is in a bad mood!"

Overall the PPV wasn't a great one. It wasn't really even a good one. But that MITB match was really damn fun to me and felt like something I would see on a 2002 Jersey indy comp tape. And that makes me happy as hell. I wanted the buffering on my Network feed to fuck up so it would look like I was watching the match on a scratched 12th gen VHS dupe. And that ended things on an impossibly joy-filled mood, so thumbs up!

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WWE Backlash 2017, One Day Removed from Live Blog

1. Aiden English vs. Tye Dillinger

ER: I'm happy to see English doing his theatrical singing again, his whole act and in-ring was one of my favorite things about 2014 NXT. Dillinger's giant collared vest looks like something one of the women might wear for a PPV title match, cosplaying the Evil Queen. Whereas English has some amazing Van Gogh Starry Night tights, which is probably just the second instance of fine art being used on tights, after Rick Rude used Renoir's A Portrait of Cheryl Roberts. And I really dug this match until the exchange of bad looking finishers. The opening go behind stuff was really good, loved English yanking Dillinger's arm and shoulder into the top rope. After spending his whole intro song running down Chicago, I appreciate English yelling "This is my town!!" before whiffing a punch. Dillinger has a bad flying forearm but some shockingly nice corner 10 punches. If your gimmick is the whole "10" thing, you may as well perfect the move most associated with a 10 count. English hits a silly flipping neckbreaker and then starts breaking down afterwards, with JBL saying English is a true method actor, who can turn the tears on and off on command. Obviously JBL has no clue what method acting is. If English was a method actor they would have needed 27 takes on him crying, broken up by a 45 minute call to his Stella Adler-trained acting coach (or, someone who talked to someone at a party once, who they thought was Stella Adler). Dillinger's finisher is terrible.

2. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: This wasn't really the match I was expecting them to work, but it was probably better than the match I was expecting. Ziggler actually works like a heel and it's not just a Nakamura showcase. He does get to through a bunch of knees, and instead of working a counter-heavy style they work a lot of spots where Ziggler is almost as quick to the shot, Nakamura's shot was just stronger. I never once put it past WWE to have Nak lose his debut main brand match, so the Ziggler near falls resonated huge with me. Did I really think a Zig Zag would end the match? Not totally, but again, it didn't seem unbelievable. I liked Ziggler using actual amateur things here and there, like his desperation single leg that saw Nak sprawl. I don't think people know quite what to make of Nakamura's facial selling, but I imagine it catching on big. When someone takes a superkick to the back of the head, I just don't think most are expecting someone's eyes to cross and body to curl up like they just got pogo'd by Scrooge McDuck. But this was good, thought the nearfalls worked, all the big knee strikes looked good, nice match.

3. Breezango vs. Usos

ER: Anybody griping about the brand extension can just stop. I get to see Tyler Breeze in an actual PPV title match, and no way was that ever happening pre-extension. Here he's undercover bossing as a janitor, and I for one hope he mops the floor with the Usos (*soundbite*)! And if the Nak/Ziggler match was not what I expected, then this match really was not what I expected. WWE likes to keep their bad comedy to the backstage skits, rarely working actual outright comedy matches. Indy wrestling is lousy with comedy matches, WWE pretty much just had Santino and Michael Cole overlaughing at jokes (although Santino was still getting fairly regular laughs out of me through his tenure). Not all of this comedy works, but getting over with comedy is pretty much the only chance Breezango has, and it certainly seemed like it was working. Breeze still brings painful looking bumps, and the fans seemed to buy his nearfall. His turnbuckle head tuck/superkick spot on the Usos is one of the only times I've seen that spot almost work, as he held onto the tucked head until the other one threw the kick, and the kick looked like it was aimed at Breeze. The spot with the Usos catching a Breeze dive and tossing him into the barrier was killer, with Breeze almost crushing a couple kids. Fun match.

4. Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin

ER: This match should have worked better for me, but there was something that didn't click. I think it might have been because Sami was the underdog babyface working an injury, but the match was worked with Corbin almost always fighting to come back. The announcers acted like Sami was the one fighting back, and Sami's body language acted that way, but it felt like Sami controlled 70% of this match. If he wasn't actively doing a move, he was reversing a move. So it took a genuinely impressive selling performance from Zayn, never overdone in an ohhhhhhh my baaaaaaaack kind of way, but more in the way I get up in the morning and carefully pick up a pair of socks from the floor. For all his well played back clutching, Zayn somehow just never seemed that much in danger. He would pull off a move with a bad back, but then when Corbin would counter with a slam it would get rolled up. I dunno. I thought it made Zayn look strong, but the layout didn't work for me.

5. Carmella, Tamina & Natalya vs. Becky Lynch, Charlotte & Naomi

ER: Tamina has been on the main roster for SEVEN YEARS. I'm sure I'm missing some people, but is there anybody else you can think of who's been around for 7 years and still gets a "new phone who dis?" reaction every time she comes out? Now with her new gear she just looks like a less stacked Nia Jax, like when a curvy girl loses weight but it all gets lost from weird areas. Tamina is actually wearing a more slim fit version of Viscera's old gear. That's what it is. Tamina - after seven years - still doesn't seem like she totally knows how to walk through ring ropes. Carmella yanking Lynch off the apron was a great spot, Natalya doing a stomach kick 2' away from Naomi, less so (Natalya has looked really, really awful in-ring the last couple months). My my what a poor match. It wasted so much time getting to the finish, only for the finish to feel incredibly rushed. Lynch was hardly in the match but was apparently completely worn down in seconds by Natalya's sub. Carmella was the only one who came out of this looking any better, and they've already established that Carmella has no chance of going anywhere (which is a shame, as I think they rushed her debut so badly that it ruined what could have been with her).

6. AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

ER: Really, really good match with a couple of incredibly satisfying spots based around an injury. Styles' knee buckling on the springboard and the finish where his leg gets dropped through a vacant announce table monitor hole while setting up a Clash, were awesome, well played moments. Normally a count out finish would be a major let down, but I thought the set up throughout the match for something like this was so good that it totally worked for me. Owens smothered him nice to start, locking on snug headlocks and trying to ground Styles, and once Styles started to break out I like Owens immediately going for the fat attacks (the big senton, the bigger cannonball, and then the awesome cannonball with AJ's leg prone). The knee gets played up nicely the whole match, the announcers say really bizarre things during AJ's comebacks ("Pele kick to the face of America!" What the fuck!?), they do a couple pretty lunatic spots (that driver off the top and that apron suplex), but all that knee stuff kept this nicely grounded in meaningful reality. Clever finishes sometimes get way too clever for anybody's good, but this finish worked. Awesome stuff.

7. Luke Harper vs. Erick Rowan

ER: I should have been flipping out for this one, but maybe this whole feud just feels way too late. Harper felt like he could have broken out over a year ago, and here he is. Both guys do stuff I like, and Harper is still my boy, that back elbow out on the floor was sick...but this just felt so low stakes. This felt like a Smackdown match that gets cut away from.

8. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

ER: Well I ended up loving this one more than I thought was possible. Fewer things move my needle less than "Randy Orton main event title match", but I was sold on this match from before the bell. Orton jumps Jinder and knocks him to the floor, and Jinder takes a couple nasty bumps over the table and into the announcer chairs, and the match hasn't even officially started. And once it does it becomes somewhat clear that Jinder doesn't have great offense, but that's okay! We can work around those things. I'll give more credit for trying a nice kneedrop to the chest and not really succeeding, than trying some kind of convoluted offense. Jinder works over Orton's shoulder in engaging-enough ways, and Orton mostly commits to selling it. Things naturally pick up once the Bollywood Boys start running interference, and both of them take insanely stupid bumps on the announcers table, especially Gurv. Orton makes a long and unmistakable "ohhhhhhh shittttttt" face after he watches himself dump Gurv on his head, but he's over it by the time he's DDTing both of them. And then, Jinder improbably gets the win! I have no takes on Jinder, don't care about any of the outrages surrounding him. It's a bold move to immediately push a guy so brazenly on the gas, yes. Wrestlers are on gear. It's a thing. We know that. And Mahal doesn't seem like a great wrestler, but it's a new face in the mix, AND he at minimum knew how to work as an intense heel. That can go a long way. Orton was weirdly motivated here (which he has not been in a year), and I say they just go all the way and work a juice angle. Because right now Jinder has one of those gross 1999 WCW power plant juice bods (though truthfully needs more bloat and HGH belly), like someone who just found a stash of 20 year old anabolics and is now a title winning superstar. Make that his gimmick. Instead of Homer finding a can of Billy Beer in his fringe jacket, Jinder finds a bunch of expired juice in some BodyPUMP gear he picks up at Salvation Army. I hate giving away money like this.

Good show, wasn't expecting much of anything from the listed card. Women's tag was the only outright bad thing on the card, and that match was pretty meaningless in the grand scheme. The card was worth watching a day later, pleased with my decision.

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WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Live Blog

1. Curt Hawkins vs. Mojo Rawley

This was a surprisingly nicely structured opener between two of the most pointless guys on the roster. It had the feeling of a dark match where two guys were given a chance to do their thing, and it benefitted from that. These two have had minimal run-ins, no angle to speak of, and Hawkins was dead on arrival a few months ago. So they get 8 minutes to do their unadorned thing. This was the last sketch of the night on SNL, the last match of a SNME card, something with no expectations and minimal chance. And they benefit from all of that! Mojo looks leaner than usual, and moves quicker than I've seen him. Hawkins doesn't bring a whole lot to this, evading Mojo for the first couple, but once Mojo gets his hands on him things get fun. Mojo breaks out a big lariat, killer fireman's carry flapjack, and huge running forearm to the corner. Hawkins takes the abuse and picks his shots nicely, and this is the kind of match you hope fleshes out a good house show. A match you wouldn't have even noticed on paper, but keeps the good times going so the live show doesn't lag. Good work guys.

2. Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

Was hoping James would have ditched the bell bottoms by now. That could really use an update. And I wasn't expecting this to get 12 minutes. But their must be something in my coffee tonight as I liked this match too. This is feeling like a really great house show so far, which is awesome. Becky talks about becoming the Arm Break Kid and so Mickie comes out and goes after that fucking arm. Crowd is cold and that's a shame as Mickie attacks the arm in cool ways, wrapping it grossly around ropes, and best of all wraps it around her legs and jumps to the mat. I loved the arm work, and she got a lot of time to show it off. James even has some really great mounted punches, which are the most difficult punches to throw. I don't remember her having great punches. Becky sells the arm nicely...except every single time she goes on offense, which is really annoying. I don't need her to do every move one-armed or anything, but at least acknowledge that you arm has gotten kicked in the last 10 minutes. But Becky is a good underdog in this, even takes a sick DDT on the side of her head. James looked kind of tired by the end, but unintentionally or not I dug it, as it makes sense for the returning veteran to have lost a step. Match ending could have used a bit more as the ending as is was lazy and somewhat unearned, but this was a satisfying 12 minutes, worked in a style that was a pleasant surprise.

3. Apollo Crews & Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

When I saw this handicapped match listed, I thought it was a pretty dumb idea considering the participants. So I loved when Ziggler just jumped Kalisto during his entrance and took him out of the match. Dolph should be using smarts to win this stacked match at all odds, and that was the most logical start. Crews, Hawkins and Rawley are pretty low on the totem to be getting onto PPV, but I kind of love that it's a thing. Again, feels like a really fun house show. Might not be the best business plan, but I don't care at all about what benefits them. Ziggler as a cocky athletic asskicker is soooo much better as cocky babyface who bumps. And Ziggler was good, yanking on a nasty horizontal side headlock, grounding Crews and gassing him out by choking off his air supply. Crews showed a side I haven't really seen as I thought his selling was really engaging. I thought his exhaustion felt authentic, and Ziggler's smirks to the crowd and not just the camera while he picked apart Crews was great. The opening match jumping did its job, as off camera as Kalisto got to his feet the crowd noise started to swell. Ziggler did all Kalisto's sympathy build for him, as Kalisto got to lie around for 6 minutes and all his heat was built up for him. Nice idea. Crews gets an all time great enziguiri with his last gasp of strength, and Kalisto tags in for a springboard dropkick and a nice enziguiri of his own. Crews makes a blind tag and I love how he actually acknowledge the beating he took, not rushing in right away and instead grimacing hard as he forced himself through the ropes, then uses whatever restored strength he had to plant Ziggler with a killer high angle tossed powerbomb. This was another good one, and Ziggler pays him back by destroying Crews with a chair afterwards. Well done by all, a heel performance that Ziggler needed, and the first time I've actually "seen something" in Crews, beyond "athletic black man" spots.

4. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. Breezango

I wish Breeze had gotten a better shake on the active roster. He is/was a favorite of mine in NXT, but some guys play the big stage, some need to fill out the small stage. Slater is a feel good story and an easy guy to get behind, and Rhyno is great at apron work. Fandango doesn't have tons to do so he makes up his time by hamming it up while not falling right away on a sunset flip, and tossing tons of fashion citations onto Slater. Slater throws a nice high kick and great Memphis overhand right to the forehead, and Breeze bumps properly around on for Slater's comeback. Could have been more, but we have 14 tag teams to get through.

5. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. The Vaudevillains

Aiden English, like Tyler Breeze, was one of my favorite things in NXT. In other words, nobody in a position of authority should trust my taste in professional wrestling, and how it relates to making money. This is sadly short, but English got some nice moments, hitting a boss knee drop and taking Slater's match ending DDT incredibly. Slater lifted him into the air to deliver it, and English kicked his legs in a panic while falling. Gotch didn't manage to murder anyone during his brief time in, and I actually liked his little kick combo and rolling fireman's carry.

6. Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. The Usos

Okay each match has been shorter than the last. Hate where this is going. Jey hits an amazing pop-up Samoan drop, and the superkick finish made sense, but this was a steamrolling.

7. The Usos vs. American Alpha

Usos are getting easier to tell apart, now that Jimmy is chubbier. Usos get dumped with double Germans but from then on it's all Usos and they're pretty vicious taking Gable apart. The superkick to Gable's ribs while he was being held prone was nasty. Gable is a good underdog and the Usos as heels have been sadly wasted but good whenever given the chance. But I had a feeling the Usos aren't advancing here. Jordan's hot tag was good, one of his more fiery ones. But the ending felt too rushed and predictable. These teams are capable of having a great match, I'm sure of it, and we've gotten glimpses and teases and one really good TV bout, but damn they need to just given them 17 minutes and say "GO!"

8. American Alpha vs. The Ascension

The best thing about this was the best part, with Ascension hitting the Fall of Man with a spinning back elbow instead of a kick, and I liked the idea of a flash upset. But the rest of this didn't do much for me. After that opening flurry didn't work, the Ascension had no chance of winning the belts. Having them as the last team sucked out any kind of drama. Clearly AA was getting the belts. Crowd would have deflated had Ascension won after a long, hard fought contest. No way they would do that. It only would have worked if it happened 10 seconds in. After that they were just waiting around to die. This whole gauntlet was overall disappointing, as we all expected it would be.

9. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

This is pretty dull for a grudge match. It's possible Natalya was grinding down Nikki with boring holds on purpose, to tease her for not being as good a wrestler, but Natalya doesn't do "subtle", so if she was trying to get that story across we would have heard a lot of "You're not stronger than me, Nikki! I'm a better wrestler than you!!" Since we did not, I have to imagine she was not. Nikki hits hard on her comeback, Natalya takes a nasty landing while delivering a superplex, and good lord Nikki genuinely looks like she's choking the life out of Natalya on BOTH STFs she does. The second one was especially gross as Natalya's tongue starts sticking out and her eyes get wide. Either Nikki delivers the best looking headlocks in the company, or she is just strangling people while Natalya is suddenly a great seller. Either way, the match finish blew, but the match was totally worth it for them chokes.

10. Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

I do not like this nearly as much as the recent Wyatt/Harper house show singles match (review coming tomorrow!!), and I guess that had a better built in story. But it was also worked bigger, and was the match we were hoping it looked like on paper. Here Orton overpowers Harper to start, which is stupid. He just muscles Harper around and beats him up. Harper's the dude who should be overpowering EVERYone around. I like that he can sell, but this should have been Orton scrambling for his ass.That Harper/Wyatt match went barely 10 minutes, started big, caught its breath in the middle, and ended big. This has been 13 minutes of methodical. Admittedly, all that build made Harper's epic superkick feel that much more epic. I loathe when Orton pounds his fists on the mat, it looks so stupid. So I loved Harper blasting him with a superkick right when he stops Vipering or whatever the fuck that is. Vipers don't have fists. Gawd. But that kick was a lifesaver, and I thought for sure the follow up kick was getting the big win. AND THE CROWD GETS BEHIND HARPER!!! And fucccccccck they didn't let him kick out of the RKO. I'm telling you, if Harper kicks out of that motherfucker, we have a new babyface superstar. How killer and unexpected would that be? Harper shocking Orton by kicking out of the RKO and going on to win; Orton flips out and puts up his WM title shot if Harper will face him again; Harper wins the title shot and goes on to be featured in a singles match at WM; Wyatt tries to bring him back as a follower mid-match, and Harper gets one final moment against Bray, turning on him officially in front of the biggest live crowd of the year. He commits, and the fans get committed in his commitment. He wins the title from whomever has it (Cena?) and Harper is the new bearded World Champion babyface superstar and former tag team partner of Necro Butcher.

Is that so fucking difficult??

11. Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

I love Alexa's cartoon villain facials. David Otunga sounds like a black Brett Gelman. But yes, Alexa Bliss cartoon facials. I especially like her snarl. Or when the ref admonishes her and she snaps "I know!" That kind of work goes a long way. Naomi is a good face with a great look, but sometimes she can get a little lost. The kick combos can get a little complicated, but her energy is good. Bliss did her a lot of favors in this, really flying into her stuff. The best is Alexa running fast into the rear view. I love the rear view as a part of Naomi's offense, but I don't always love the Irish whip set up. So Alexa running into it is the best. Alex comes back but then misses a great twisting body press into knees, real nasty. Then Naomi hits her own monsault, with her knees whipping right into Alexa's stomach. Yeesh that hurts. And I was NOT expecting a win for Naomi, that's kind of awesome. I think this is her first, and why not? They're switching the titles a lot, but I like that this makes it seem like ANY of these women can win the title on any given night.

Chamber hype video was AWESOME. They get older Chamber workers to come back and talk about what they loved and hated about it, they show a lot of grisly black and white footage of Chamber bumps, all good stuff. I'm hyped.

12. Elimination Chamber: Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin vs. The Miz vs. Bray Wyatt vs. AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Styles is GOD in this match so far. He has been bumping like wild for everything. Cena roughed him around, then Ambrose clotheslined him over the ropes, powerbombed him on the side plank, and then crashed into him with an awesome clothesline off the top of a pod. Cena hits a German on both of them at the same time, and Bray Wyatt comes in just as things are really getting good. And he feeds off that energy. Wyatt hits his crazy high/fast cross block, then gets knocked to the side plank by AJ and takes a wicked post shot. Moves look so damn unforgiving on these side panels. Cena and Styles do some of the best "fighting on top of a cage" that you've seen, and Cena takes the death plunge. Then Ambrose and Styles take turns seeing who can bank the others' head off a pod panel, and this is reminding me why I love the Elimination Chamber gimmick so much. Suplex powerbomb spots suck ass, look dangerous and never look "worth it", so that can get the hell out of my chamber match. Corbin comes in, and I finally notice how fucking lame it is to where a "lone wolf" t shirt when you're called the Lone Wolf. Like, Disco Stu don't advertise. Everybody is taking such full force bumps into the chain link parts, it's reading really well in HD. The structure seems unflinching so every bump into any part of it is coming off dangerous. And Ambrose gets plastered through a pod after eliminating Corbin, makes it look amazing. Miz wisely hides in his pod, knowing he will get his skin ripped off by Corbin if he reveals himself. Cena has some ridiculous strength and I'm glad his body allows him to display it sometimes, because him rolling through a Miz crossbody to stand up - holding a 225 lb. man! - to lift him to a fireman's carry, and THEN AA him?? That's epic as hell. AJ has the makings of a legendary Chamber performer. Rey Mysterio is the obvious king of the Chamber match. He invented these things. But AJ gets it. Some day when Rey comes back for a superstar glory tour, these two need to cross paths in a Chamber. Wyatt gets to pin Cena, which is and should be big, and Styles and the newly energized Wyatt are the finalists for the belt. And both guys sprint to the finish. AJ Styles hits his sliding elbow, and then a bonkers springboard 450. Holy cow. Styles toss out a strike combo and Wyatt spins into a huge lariat. Styles is great at taking lariats. And Styles gets caught going for his flying forearm, as Bray snags him and plants him with Sister Abigail. Super match, loved the order of entrants and the stories that unfolded. This is doing the most with what you are given.

Awesome night of wrestling, well worth the time spent. The show had a lot of undercard performers stepping up on a smaller show, while the headliners delivered strong performances. Really great stuff all around.

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