WWF 305 Live: SIR MO! DIESEL! MOONDOGS! BLACKJACK!

Blackjack Mulligan vs. Moondog Rex WWF 11/10/84 - FUN

ER: I like this kind of quick no nonsense mid 80s WWF brawl. They weren't going to draw blood but you know they'd throw a couple heavy hands and take a couple big thuds on bumps, then go home early. Moondog is throwing hands, which is exactly what should happen when you don the frayed denims of a Moondog. Blackjack really uses his size in an impressive overpowering way, without actually working as a Stan Hansen. He definitely never works as stiff, but his movements read big and that contributes to the visuals. I like how Moondog misses an elbow, and I like how he really starts throwing his stiffest punches when Blackjack is on the apron, making Blackjack fight to get back in the ring and really earn it. Blackjack's flying back elbow is a cool big guy finisher for the era, and I'd be into seeing a feud of these two.


Diesel vs. Sir Mo WWF Raw 8/6/95 - GREAT

ER: I was absurdly excited for this one, for multiple reasons. First, this is one of only three Mo singles matches we get during his ENTIRE three year WWF run. That's kind of incredible in retrospect. He had a match against Owen the year before, this match, and a match against Undertaker later in the year. That's weird! But I also love hierarchy booking and the booking of this match and segment was so easy that by the end of the 10 minutes I was hyped for Mabel/Diesel at Summerslam, Lawler/Michaels at next week's Raw, and potential future Mabel/Michaels and MOM vs. Michaels/Diesel matches. It's such an easy formula to have the second banana tag partner of the upcoming PPV title challenger, challenge the champ a couple weeks before the PPV. So you get Mo trying to derail and soften up Diesel before the PPV, Mabel gets to come out, Michaels gets to come out to balance things, Lawler yells at Michaels, just an uncluttered way to focus on several programs and matches at once. Today it feels like they can't even focus on the one pushed program, let alone set up matches for future weeks. Is it because they no longer trust people have the attention span to focus on more than one program? I don't know, but I loved this. Mo is such a great lower totem pole guy who will still talk trash. The opening show quickie head to head promo of his was so funny, and he made a line like Big Daddy Fool actually work where others would have crashed and burned.

The match was simple, part of a larger and more important segment, a match that would stand on its own but was far more interesting with all of the moving pieces. Early on Mo ducked through the ropes to back Diesel up, but then smacked him right in the eye the second the ref wasn't looking. Diesel laced into him with nice back elbows and even better kneelifts, Mo attacked with downward strike elbows and clubbing shots to the back. The camera catches a great angle of Mabel lurking down the aisle in the background, and his presence-as-distraction keeps giving Mo little advantages. Diesel takes a nice big tumbling bump over the top to the floor, and when Mabel creeps over that's when Michaels comes out to even things out. But that allows Mo to bum rush Diesel in the ringpost. It's all so easy but it's also possible that it comes off easy due to each guy knowing exactly when to hit their notes. Mo drops nice elbows, but misses a nasty elbow off the top, really crashing right onto his hip and elbow point. Everyone knew that Mo was eating that Jackknife eventually, and of course he does. Mo really looked like he was the one exclusively doing the lifting, my dude looking like he had to do a full midair sit-up just to not get dropped on his head. The second Mo is pinned Mabel is already in the ring hitting a lariat and dropping the big leg on Diesel, we get the awesome breakdown where Michaels gets caught by Mabel on a pescado and then crushed into the ringpost, Diesel comes off the apron with an axe handle, Lawler mocks Michaels, it all made for an awesome, super effective segment.


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New Footage Friday: Waltman's Sampler

Lightning Kid/Jerry Lynn vs. Masa Saito/Brad Rheingans PWA 11/9/92

MD: What a weird match to exist. I don't have a great sense of Waltman's 1992, where he was done with Global early in the year and not into WWF until 93. There was one tryout match with Bob Cook in WCW and some shots in Japan. I could go back through old WONs but it doesn't seem worth it. If there were more PWA tags with Lynn, I'd be curious to see them. This was set up with Saito and Rheingans as monsters and Lynn and Kid as specialists, with the announcers really hammering the underdog status. Brad played de facto heel (and Saito more thorough heel) and it's such a great role for him. I've seen him on 90s undercards from Japan doing the same and he was very good at it. It almost makes you wish they paired him with Patera and Blackwell in early 80s AWA, but that was never going to happen.

PAS: Kid and Lynn were working as underdog blowjob babyfaces against a team of barrel chested murderers, and everyone played their role well. Rheingans hit a couple of big suplexes and a nasty powerbomb and Saito chucked Waltman with a Saito suplex. There was some nice moments of babyface fire, Waltman getting hyped up and throwing all of his karate at Saito was cool, and Saito sold it an appropriate amount. These makeshift teams worked well together and against each other and I would have been interested in a longer arena version of this TV tag.

ER: This felt like a syndicated WCW match in the very best way, with two teams that nobody realized had crossed paths all behaving the exact ways you'd expect them to behave. Rheingans and Saito are like stockier Steiners, and I loved the ways they tossed Kid and Lynn while also loving the believable ways Lynn and Kid fought their way into it. Saito is arguably the most brick house wrestler to ever walk, and I love how Kid goes off on him with cool kicks and Saito leans into every one of them looking like Thing deflecting bullets off his rock hide. Every time Kid or Lynn would hit the mat because of Saito, it looked and sounded like their skeletons were being rearranged. Saito hits a snap suplex on Lynn that should be a finisher, his dragon screw on Kid sent him most of the way across the ring, and his stiff arm lariats look savage. I love his Saito suplex on Kid, looking like one of those rollercoasters that keeps lifting you up higher and higher until the bottom drops out and you freefall. Kid's kick variations looked great, especially impressed at how damaging he made every dropkick look. Being vaulted into a dropkick is a tough spot to pull off, and not only did he do it several times here, but he used them to smartly set up Rheingans finally catching him and hitting a killer powerbomb. I really loved this, and would have loved a more fleshed out version of this pairing.


1-2-3 Kid vs. Diesel WWF 1/15/94

ER: This was worked how I expected, how I wanted, and most importantly how the fans in the building wanted. The whole match was Kid getting launched and tossed from high angles, big biel throws, gutbusting kneelifts, big sideslam, just picking Kid up by the neck and dropping him. Kid did not get a night off working Diesel, he was going to be taking some bumps, and he even took a doozy to the floor when Diesel pushed him away with a boot when Kid was going for his other leg. Kid bumps hard backwards into the ropes, flops around in them, then lands stomach first on the floor (luckily Diesel was cool enough to press slam him back into the ring). The moments where Kid took over were great, as there was no such thing as a wasted second. Kid attacked with speed, and legsweeps, and a ton of spinkicks. When Diesel would go down Kid would pounce immediately, attacking the leg by driving his knee into it. Kid worked like a guy who knew he was about to get caught, so he was just doing as much as he could until he got clobbered again. Growing up we would have a taco night every couple weeks, easy dinner, mom would make the taco meat on the stove and then we'd add our own fixings. Pretty normal family thing. One time I walked into the kitchen to see our cat Inky furiously eating as much taco meat off the stove as it could. She clearly knew she was going to get caught, but she just wanted to eat as much of that spicy taco meat as she could before getting caught. 1-2-3 Kid was just eating all that taco meat, before getting unceremoniously dumped over the top buckle with Snake Eyes. Inky did not have to take any kind of finisher.

MD: Diesel was a week away from his big Royal Rumble push and for Kid, this was during his week of getting to hold the tag titles with Jannetty. Quite the moment in time for these two. There was a lot to like here. Diesel was pretty giving, but not too giving, letting his legs get beat up but never in any real danger. Waltman bumped huge for him as you'd expect. They had some smart spots, like Kid losing the advantage because Diesel repositioned himself away from a top rope move; when Kid tried to follow up with a figure four instead, he got booted out of the ring; also, the big comeback spot of Diesel going for a second side slam off the ropes and Kid turning it into a headscissors take over. The crowd really appreciated it when Kid was on top here and got heavily behind him. Everyone loves an underdog but these two worked the match in a way that kept them engaged. Nice, short encounter that played to each's strength.

PAS: This was fun stuff, Waltman was such a crazy bumper for this era of WWF, and that bump he takes to the floor off of Nash's leg push was some Jerry Estrada level insanity. I thought Diesel was really good in this match too. He bumped and sold well for Waltman's moments of offense and when it came time to hurt him, he hurt him.


X-Pac vs. Bryan Danielson NWA 11/23/07

PAS: This was a real fun tournament match, which had a little more bite then a normal tourney match. I liked how it started almost genial with Waltman and Danielson exchanging armdrags and taunts, but then Danielson got pissed off and really beat the crap out Waltman, and then ended up brawling into the crowd. Finish run was a bit weak, I would have liked to see Waltman break out something a little bigger then an X-Factor, still this was good stuff and they matched up surprisingly well.

MD: This felt like a really good TV match to me, with Waltman really happy to be in there. The moment that will stick with you is when Danielson got the best of Waltman and did the crotch chop, because it's so out of character and because it cracked up Waltman (whether he knew it was coming or not). I think there are certain endemic issues about late 00s Waltman, whereas he's too trapped by the Syxx/X-Pac stuff and some of those moves and mannerisms. They tease and then pay off a bronco buster which really didn't fit the match or the character he was portraying but was sort of inescapable for anyone in the crowd who was more casual given how big a star X-Pac had been. One aspect of "TV matches," as a classification, is simplicity of a finishing stretch. Here, given the scope and the setting, they could have gone around once or twice more.

ER: I had never seen this pairing before (apparently they were on opposite sides of a big FIP elimination match, but seeing this distilled in a singles match is way more satisfying) and I loved how they matched up. I'm with Matt in that I wish Waltman didn't feel so locked into specific X-Pac mannerisms and moveset, though at the same time it lead to a couple of genuinely funny moments: X-Pac breaking an early test of strength to motion for Danielson to suck it, with Danielson doing something similar later in the match gave us the announcer - calling it like an actual sport - to say "and now a suck it from Danielson!" Also, when Waltman was bumping his crotch into Danielson's forehead, Danielson staggered back into the corner selling them like actual strikes, and I appreciate that. I did like the build up to the bronco buster, as it lead to moments of Waltman flying crotch first into the turnbuckles and lead to our finish of him getting boosted up onto the top buckle, but I liked Danielson beating him around the ring even more. X-Pac getting crotched on the guardrail and then clotheslined off looked real painful, as did Danielson's big bump that got them out of the floor to begin with. I love how many wrestlers were inspired by 1-2-3 Kid because they finally saw a smaller wrestler making it on a big stage, only to find out later how much larger Waltman was than they realized. Seeing how much Waltman towers over Danielson is a real sign of one thing wrestling has at least taken a step forward on in the past 15 years.

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WWF In Your House 2: The Lumberjacks 7/23/95

ER: This is straight outta Nashville and we get this sick Hank Jr. MNF theme ripoff that is fun as hell, the whole intro feels like way more of a WCW thing. 1995 WWF felt really WCW in a lot of ways, which is part of what makes it so appealing. And then it gets even better as we cut to Lawler and Vince ringside, and they're both dressed like city slicker cowboys! Black leather vests, Vince in a bolo tie (!), Lawler with a crown over his Clint Black stetson, just the kind of vibe that Vince would never even consider doing today. 1995 Vince is a real honest to god shill with a touch of desperation, and we won't get to see that level of scraping by Vince again. It's too bad, Huckster Vince was great.


1-2-3 Kid vs. The Roadie

ER: Roadie has quickly become one of my favorite workers to watch. A guy who just a few weeks ago had me whining about why he was even in the KOTR tournament, is clearly one of the best performers on the roster. And I think this is a really great roster, no matter what kind of business they were doing. Part of the great thing about this era WWF is that they had no "house style", everyone came off totally different and there was no same-y agenting for every single match, and there was a big southern wrestling influence. And I think Roadie is so much better than Road Dogg, because as Roadie he still hadn't fallen into any kind of formula. As Roadie he is always breaking out weird offense that feels like he's trying it on a whim, no formula and overly established locked in moveset. He engages the crowd and can stooge, and knows to do a lot of his goofy heel taunt dancing when the cameras cut away to something else (here they cut backstage to JJ rehearsing for his big PPV "With My Baby Tonight" debut). These two are great opponents who wouldn't cross paths again for a few years after this, but I love what we got here. Roadie was great at going down hard for Kid's big kicks, and Kid was bumping huge for everything Roadie did. As I said, Roadie keeps on surprising me, here he broke out a cool last minute powerslam (catching a charging Kid by surprise), and another incident that was the best combination of "was that on purpose or accidental, who cares it looked great!": During a rope running exchange, Roadie leapfrogged but Kid went into a forward roll and knocked one of Roadie's legs out from under him, faceplanting him. Roadie so immediately got up selling his face from the faceplant that it had to be how things were planned, but they were both so good at making it look like a great spot that came about organically. Kid takes two HUGE bumps, getting crazy air on a flapjack and a backdrop, but the craziest bump is saved for the finish: Roadie wins the match with a piledriver of the middle turnbuckle!! Not even a tombstone style piledriver, but a Memphis style sitout piledriver, off the freaking second turnbuckle! What a nutso move to attempt, what a nutso move to start a PPV with. Kid's body folds forward in a way that makes it look like his neck snapped, great disgusting visual for the finish. And after the match, ever the professional, Roadie makes sure to test all the equipment for JJ's upcoming performance.


Men on a Mission vs. Razor Ramon/Savio Vega

ER: I love the fan with the "All Hail King Savio" sign, still not ready to accept the results of the prior month's King of the Ring. And what a great tag match this was! It was an economical 10 minutes, and filled with big bumps, hard runs into the buckles, great stooging, simple but very relevant double teams, really worked at a pace that guaranteed the crowd would be into it the whole way. Mo is a really great slime here, but also a guy who is gonna give like he gets. Razor throws his toothpick in Mo's face and Mo responds by slapping Razor with the hardest strike of the match. And like that we're off, with Savio getting whipped hard into the buckles, Mabel missing a really hard charge into the buckles, and Savio eating what felt like a half dozen different body slams from Mabel. Mabel has really Finlay-esque bodyslams, lifting Savio high and really dropping him with force. And I actually laugh when Lawler calls him "Chevy Vega". That kind of thing feels like a vintage Heenan insult. The double teams look good, Mo running Mabel into Savio, doing classic combos like the drop toehold/legdrop combo. That kind of combo is so simple, but the participants make all the difference: Mo really strangles Savio's legs and Savio wipes out with a faceplant, and Mabel times it so he's dropping that big leg a split second after Savio hits the mat. Razor even adds to the chippiness by coming in and booting Mabel right in the back of the head to break up the pin. The big bumps really kick in, with Mo missing the Mo-sault and eating a Razor back suplex off the top, and even Mabel going off the top! Mo and Savio spill super fast to the floor off a big lariat, and we finally get the showdown between Mabel and Razor. It's a cool pairing, and you KNOW Mabel goes right after those injured ribs of Razor's and splats him with a great belly to belly. I loved this tag, thought they worked the perfect pace, MOM came off like real killers, bell to bell joy.

ER: Has anybody ever seen Dok Hendrix and Monterey Jack from Rescue Rangers in the same place? He hosts an interview with some of Diesel's lumberjacks, and Bam Bam kind of quiets the room by saying he's going to set Sid on fire. That interview leads us into Jeff Jarrett's first ever life performance of With My Baby Tonight, and it actually comes off much better than I was expecting? The best part was him cutting a promo before the song, as the live band plays a looping version of his theme in the background. Big Al on guitar picking lines while a lady fiddler gives us those high lonesome notes, J-E-Double F (ha ha ha) rubbing Nashville's noses right in it. After the performance, Todd Pettengill interviews fans at random for their thoughts on the performance, with a shocking amount of them admitting that Jarrett sounded quote, "pretty good".


Henry Godwinn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

ER: This was so great. Everything on this show has been perfectly timed, knowing the exact amount of time to give to every segment. This goes 6 minutes and is an all out big boy sprint, and we're all the better for it. You don't get many matches involving men this size, that start with three straight backdrop suplexes. This is solid gold from go, with Bammer dropping Godwinn with those suplexes, then firing off a torpedo shoulderblock that sends Henry crashing fast backwards through the ropes to the floor. This was big bumping, hard hitting, heavy landing big man wrestling. Everything hit real hard: Bam Bam running chest first into the buckles, Godwinn hitting a lariat right after, Bam Bam flying fast over the top to the floor off a low bridge, Godwinn spiking himself on a DDT, Bigelow hitting a killer crossbody (like an even heavier version of the later Mike Knox running crossbody), Bigelow misses a nasty headbutt off the top (going down real top heavy), just constant crashing action. The finish was great and logical, with Godwinn missing a huge kneedrop off the top, and Bigelow getting the quick pinfall with a high hooked leg. There wasn't a single misstep in this match, even things like Godwinn choking Bam Bam over the ropes and a simple chinlock read really well, a real unheralded big man match.


Jeff Jarrett vs. Shawn Michaels

ER: This is a truly special wrestling match that earns its legendary status. This was Jarrett's most tour de force performance of his career, and one of Michael's best as well. This was pure Lawler/Dundee in a WWF ring, chock full of stooging and schtick, the kind of thing that Vince wouldn't even glimpse at today, let alone allow it in a 20 minute PPV title match. The whole thing is classically laid out, filled with a ton of Jarrett stalling and stooging, really felt like the most fully unleashed version of Jarrett that we ever saw on a main brand. They worked fast avoidance spots without ever coming off like modern fast dancing matches, milked simple jabs by having JJ roll to the floor and talk trash all around ringside, rolling in just enough to restart the count whenever needed. That's the kind of heel work that is sorely lacking in WWE today. Every heel act today is based around The Evil That Men Do and simple things like running out the clock or catching your breath for too long are somehow lost. It stinks. Jarrett was really on one here, match long, an incredible performance. Every sell was great, every attention to detail looked like he was pulling off the greatest hits of Lawler/Dundee, as if he was working a PPV in Nashville, TN and was representing the great wrestling style of Tennessee. I smiled broad every time he went down fast and came up holding his mouth, and cheered when he hit one of the absolute greatest dropkicks mine eyes have ever seen, floating high almost above Michael's head and landing with great force, an almost physics breaking dropkick.

All interference from Roadie was timed really well, Roadie jumping on the apron to help with interference or to get knocked off the apron by Michaels, and we got a great spot where Jarrett gets sent over the top to crash into Roadie on the floor. If you ever wanted to see Jeff Jarrett do a fantastic tope con giro into Road Dogg, you gotta watch this match to see it. Michaels hits a huge crossbody to the floor into both of them, and the whole thing continues to unroll in the best Memphis fashion. Both men milk slow crawls after big moves, Jarrett is a master of milking nearfalls (barely shooting up his shoulder inches away from potential loss), the whole thing is perfect. This match felt like Michaels working like Jeff Jarrett while Jarrett worked like heel Michaels, and to my knowledge it's literally the only match we have of them opposite each other. I am dying to see any of their house show interactions, any of their singles matches, any of their matches tagging with each other against Diesel/Razor, and the crown jewel of them all: A 1997 WWF house show IN Memphis, with a main event of Lawler/Jarrett vs. Michaels/HHH. Give me THAT on an Unreleased blu ray and WWE will have my money day one. This was a masterful match, fully deserving of all the praise it's gotten the past 25 years.


Yokozuna/Owen Hart vs. Lex Luger/British Bulldog

ER: Another good one on a show filled with them. This was probably the weakest of the bunch, if only for an uninventive too easy ending. They are really trying hard with the whole Allied Powers team, and it comes off lame. This feels like a gimmick for guys much lower on the card. When you stick two main event guys in a tag team whose entire identity is "This one is from the US, this other guy is from the UK". Like if Bob Backlund were still a babyface in 1995 WWF then I could actually see Backlund and Barry Horowitz with Luger's gear, American flag trunks with Olympic team puffy jackets. I assume they were just trying to tank Luger's value before he went to WCW. "Look at this goof still carrying on with the red white and blue routine two years after wasting everyone's time with the Lex Express!?" Lex is obviously not ever going to win, but man why were they dragging down the Bulldog with such a desperate babyface grab. This match also leads us to an amusing moment where Owen and Bulldog are both down for the count, and the crowd starts a USA chant. I guess they were probably getting excited for a Luger tag, but a USA chant in a match with a Canadian, a Brit, a fake Japanese guy, and one actual American. But the match was good. It had a bunch of fun moments, like Owen just slapping the hell out of Luger and then running to the ropes before Luger can retaliate, or a long exchange with Owen and Bulldog showing off a bunch of flashy World of Sport wristlock escape flourishes, or a huge double backdrop suplex where Luger and Bulldog drop Yoko and they make it look like the whole arena shook (how often did Yoko ever go up for suplexes? Feels like a cool rare moment). Owen took a super high bump off a backdrop where he never rotated, the Luger/Yoko sections all banged, and really the lazy finish was the only thing keeping this match as the weakest of the night. It was one of those finishes where Luger has the long visible tag over Yoko but instead of counting the pin, Hebner decides to chide Bulldog about something for an eternity, so Owen can fly off the top with an elbowdrop on Luger. They really needed to give Hebner a better reason to be distracted, and the timing of it all took too long. The rest of this was great tag wrestling, another hit.


Lumberjack Match: Sid vs. Diesel

ER: Wow, I loved this match. What a wonderful environment for a huge big man main event. This match had an atmosphere that I don't think WWE could recreate today. This whole show played in front of a super hot Nashville crowd, and they were molten for every single second of this exquisitely laid out match. The visuals of the match was perfect with the ringside area filled with 15 faces and 15 heels, and all 30 dudes at ringside doing an incredible job of rooting for their side. Any time WWE has tried to force group interaction the past (at least) decade, it comes off exactly that: forced. This was an excellent presentation of 15 dudes who wanted nothing more than to see Diesel win, standing across the ring from 15 dudes who were willing to cheat intensely to make sure that Sid won. They did an awesome job of making sure the babyfaces only ever threw Sid back into the ring, never took cheap shots; and of course every single time Diesel spilled to the floor he got 30 different boots stamped all over his body. The layout was so simple, so logical, so perfectly executed and timed, just an absolute classic example of somehow getting 32 different wrestlers to shine at once. The establishment and loyalty of the factions was so strong that it elevated this match for me to a ridiculous degree. Bam Bam Bigelow especially was a superstar from the floor, like a man who would rather his best pal Diesel win the belt than even himself. Every time Diesel would go on a run of offense, the babyfaces would all aggressively root him on from ringside, and not a second of it came off silly or cheesy. And the heels all worked together like the Really Rottens from Scooby's Laff-a-Lympics. All of them cheated gleefully, and they integrated build for the next program seamlessly, as Mabel smashed Diesel into the ringpost with an avalanche, hit a hard bodyslam on the floor, then dropped his big leg.

The in ring action was also simple, with Diesel throwing tighter elbows and strikes as it went on, and Sid throwing his style free boots and clotheslines. Sid moves like such a stiff - his lariat being simply a big man running towards you with a straight arm - and yet his character is so remarkably effective during this era that he is just so captivating to watch. Both he and Diesel take great bumps to the floor, Sid taking two fast ones early through the ropes, and then Diesel taking an even faster, more reckless one right after. All of the action that spilled to the floor was chaotic and exciting, with Diesel eating a beating every time he went down, so finally getting frustrated enough to hit a surprise pescado onto all of them and fight back! Shawn Michaels also flew off the top with insane stage dives two different times, diving into a crowd of heels the first time and then into Sid to set up the finish. We got a fun stretch run of a few heels not accepting defeat, with IRS charging into the ring when a Sid defeat seemed immininet...and then getting launched to the floor by Diesel, with a killer over the top to the floor bump from IRS. Diesel dispatches of a couple more and hits a big boot on Sid for the 3, and the arena exploded. We get an epic closing visual of babyfaces celebrating in the ring, so excited for their friend, hoisting the still-champ up onto their shoulders. This was classic, simple, good guys vs. bad guys story formula, the exact kind of thing WWE today feels is too simple. So they overcomplicate it and make it joyless. It was also jarring how much better the wrestling action was filmed in 1995, compared to today. Wrestling direction is making modern wrestling more and more impossible and ugly to watch, and a 25 year B-show PPV blows it out of the water.


ER: What a wonderful PPV, with the weakest match being a perfectly fine nice length TV tag match, and the other ranging from very good to downright epic. This is right up there with my favorite WWF PPVs of all time, just an incredibly fun and satisfying show, top to bottom. Plus we got two excellent additions to our 305 Live project. Godwinn/Bigelow is a match that has never been hyped but was the one on paper I was most excited for, and it was a crazy bumping sprint. Sid/Diesel was such a classic delivery of good vs. evil wrestling that I'm shocked it isn't mentioned more as a wrestling fan's most treasured childhood wrestling memory. What a great show.


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WWF King of the Ring 1995

"Philadelphia, the city where the Declaration of Independence was signed! But tonight, MONARCHY will reign!" I love that line, and Vince shouts it like a deranged Kent Brockman. I am ready for this.

1. Savio Vega vs. IRS

ER: Razor Ramon injured himself at a house show a couple weeks before the PPV, so this was the match to determine his replacement to battle Yokozuna. IRS honestly has one of my favorite looks in wrestling history. His build was perfect for the Tom Fitton fit, with the sick cuffed short sleeves and deep red braces. It's a great look. The match was quick, 4 minutes, but worked fast. Vega starts the match with a super convincing small package, convincing enough that I thought they were pulling a "4 second record setting victory" type of angle to give Savio a push out of the gates. But Savio gets a good reaction with a couple more quick pins, with an especially nice high cradle. IRS presses the pace nicely, and Vega is good at quick bursts, so it's a surprisingly effective match. IRS goes up top because he's a dummy, and eats boot off an axehandle, then takes an amusing belly flop bump. The finish is a fun quick killshot, IRS running fast into a super high leaping Savio spinning heel kick. I like how this show is starting.

2. Yokozuna vs. Savio Vega

ER: Damn, they really gave Savio the short straw here, starting off the night fighting his way into the tourney and then immediately facing a force like Yoko? I do like Vince's reasoning that this is to Savio's advantage because Savio has his heart rate up and momentum rolling. Yoko is always so stoic to start matches that it makes sense Savio's fired up energy from his win would possibly overwhelm Yokozuna. And, naturally, Yokozuna would have been spending the past several weeks training specifically to fight Razor. Savio has inroads here. Yoko waves that Japanese flag in the faces of these freedom loving Philadelphians, and Savio waves a joint American/Puerto Rican flag to a surprising amount of cheers. 

And they play into that great Savio spinning heel kick I mentioned the match before, and it ties into Yoko training for Razor but gathering intel on Savio, as Yoko belly flops quickly to the mat early in the match when Savio tries to finish early with that same spinning heel kick. Yoko takes a couple of his big bumps here, a large missed elbow and a great transitional missed legdrop. The standing exchanges between the two are really strong, with Vega landing hard strikes and Yoko reeling before hitting back harder. Savio does hit his spinning heel kick but Cornette interrupts the pin, then takes a great bump to the floor after Savio belts him. The finish is lamer than the match deserved, as Owen Hart runs out to attack Razor Ramon at ringside, and then Savio runs out there, and then Yoko runs out there, but the camera completely misses big bump into the ringpost and ring steps, the bump that allows Savio to get the count out win. The count out win is cheap, and I am somewhat resentful of the Savio victory because it kills the chance of Mabel/Yokozuna. That's stupid.

3. The Roadie vs. Bob Holly

ER: Roadie is making his solo PPV debut, and you know he has a nice show vest for his entrance. But dear God the gear on Double J and Roadie is just woeful. Roadie also debuts his new PPV extensions and it makes him look like a weirdo creep maitre'd at a crime front restaurant in Strange Days. But the MATCH rules, outside of a second straight lousy finish. This is an awesome match with a real zilch of a finish, and that's too bad, but there's still a ton of match here that is really great. I kept thinking about 80s Brad Armstrong fast paced 10 minute singles, which is funny because Holly was the one giving me those vibes, not Brad's brother. This felt like a 1995 Rey/Psicosis match, only worked within the parameters of two southern wrestlers. 

It was worked super fast, Holly going for small packages and school boys and other flash pins while confounding Roadie with high hip tosses and shoulder dislocating armdrags. Roadie bails to the floor, comes back in and takes over. Roadie did have really good offense, different than his Road Dogg offense. The dancing was integrated better during his '98 run, but he has a couple things in '95 that he later unfortunately dropped. The best was a hard elbow drop to the back of Holly's neck, while Holly was sitting up. The whole thing was really good, good enough that if a couple of other matches hit this level of quality, I'll come away with favorable impressions of this show. Now, we do get some evidence of an ongoing problem, as this is the second match with a real lousy finish. Bob Holly goes up top, jumps off into Roadie with another downed opponent axe handle (already seen in the opener as a significant transition spot), but here Holly flies into Roadie's boot and gets pinned. I don't think I've ever seen someone get pinned from jumping face first into a vertically lifted leg. To his credit, Holly made it look almost plausible as a finish, and Roadie's scrambling opportunistic pin sank that in. But even though executed well, it came off flat as hell. Starting the main show with two sour finishes is a tough pill.

4. Kama vs. Shawn Michaels

ER: Well we definitely have established the theme of this show, which is very fun matches with very stupid endings. This one goes to a 15 minute draw, fully establishing the 15 minute draw as the Alone, Eating Over the Garbage Can of wrestling finishes. I was fully into this until they popped a countdown clock in the corner. Kama starts by throwing big telegraphed bombs, with Michaels hopping around like Ali, made all the more amusing when they cut to Joe Frazier in the crowd looking absolutely perplexed at Michaels. The two lady companions with Smokin' Joe are even pointing and laughing at what they're seeing. But there's a chance that those ladies were just plain wrong about pro wrestling, and that Frazier - some 20 years removed from his Ali and Foreman beatings - was actually just punch drunk. Because this delivered much more than I was expecting it to. And that's with me still miffed that Kama took Duke Droese's rightful place on this PPV! 

But the cat and mouse is good, and it leads to a great moment of Michaels skinning the cat but then getting lambasted with a great Kama lariat. Michaels takes a couple of big important bumps that play into the story, including a great version of his flipping corner bump that is just insanely fast, sending him upside down and over to the floor. Kama works simple stuff like backbreakers and that big man move I love where Michaels is bent backwards over Kama's knee, Kama pressing back on Michaels' chin. And what's awesome is that Michaels punches his way out of that, and he really tightens up his strikes in this match, clearly just punching Kama right in the head several times. That continues when Michaels gets on top and throws mounted punches, throwing 8 shots right into Kama's forehead, hard enough that Kama clearly checks to see if a cut opened. But the countdown clock really dampens the mood, as neither man seems to notice the countdown, so Michaels is doing slow corner 10 count punches with only a minute left to go, and while they built to a good "he woulda had him!" pinfall right as time expired, the fact that neither really acted like they were trying to finish really hurt it. Bob Holly worked the first several minutes of his match, they way they should have worked the final two minutes of this match. The fact that Michaels just immediately hits sweet chin music out of frustration post match, only highlights how stupid it was that he didn't go for that during any of the previous 15 minutes. Also, not having either guy advance is D-U-M-B DUMB. These finishes are brutal so far.

5. Mabel vs. The Undertaker

ER: This lags at times, sputters a bit, but eventually evolves into a real nice Mabel performance. He really got a bad rap from the internet doofuses not long after this, but he's a guy who would have been a big territory start if he wrestled exactly like this 10 years earlier. So it's a shame he never fully took during this era. Was it the shiny purple onesie? If he just had the Big Daddy V gear. All black gear, with his size, big star. This is filled with both guys running into each other with hard shoulderblocks, Mabel falls all over the place, splats Undertaker and sits on him a couple times, and we get cool moments like Undertaker with his foot tangled in the ropes and a tug of war while that happens (Taker trying to pull Mabel to the floor while his foot is tied up, Mabel trying to pull him up), and a huge belly to belly from Mabel that looked really great. Mabel even hits a picture perfect piledriver, and the visual of a 550 lb. man doing a classic piledriver is so bizarre, but so amazing. I thought a lot of Taker's stuff looked a little too tentative here. Mabel had obviously a slower gameplan, slowly crushing Taker, and it needed Taker to respond with a little more energy instead of just working the same pace as Mabel. Mabel whips Taker into the corner and smooshes the ref, allowing Kama to run in and interfere, allowing Mabel to hit a great legdrop to the back of Taker's head for the win. This match really did not need a finish based around interference, and the inability to give any single person a convincing win in this tournament is just bizarre. "People didn't take ______ seriously and that's why business is bad" is a pretty obvious take when everyone who has advanced in this tournament has done so almost by accident. Let Savio pin Yoko, let Mabel pin Undertaker, let The Roadie get a normal win over Bob Holly for goodness' sake.

6. Savio Vega vs. The Roadie

ER: This was a perfectly fine match, treated to a really icy reception from the Philly crowd. It's hard not to buy into the narrative that a series of bad finishes was wearing on this crowd. You had to think all the kids were thinking they'd be seeing a semifinals of Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna and Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker, and instead they're seeing Savio Vega vs. The Roadie and No Match because of a Draw. They shorted them a match due to a Draw! So I get the icy reception, even though the match was fine. They got real cold during Roadie's control segment, quiet enough that both men verbally appealed to the crowd at different points. It sounds so foreign in a WWF environment to see Roadie first go "What does everyone think of the Road Dogg?" to silence, followed by Savio Vega stopping his comeback so that he could go "Come on!" to the crowd. 

It rattles them a bit and some stuff suffers, like Roadie doing his flashy jab combo with the big finisher right hand at the same time Savio is doing a salsa hulk-up, so Roadie's big punch combo that he is now doing for the first time, is ignored the entire time. It's just a middling layout in a match that could have been better. Savio gets the win, and in what should be his biggest babyface moment yet, he does a full ringside interview in Spanish with Dok Hendrix doing the translating; it's actually a really funny bit, with Hendrix saying things like, "He's saying 'I don't have a shot at beating Mabel...I'm considering just not showing up and going home...I don't know how I made it this far and I'm having doubts..." It's a genuinely hilarious bit, but the whole entire thing was done at the complete expense of Savio Vega. Vega is a guy who had been in maybe 5 TV matches before this PPV, and this was supposed to be his big hard fought struggle through the finals: He won a last minute dark match to make it onto the PPV itself, then had his first PPV match in the very next match! This was a hilarious bit at the expense of the guy who needed some help in that moment.

7. Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

ER: In the TV leading up to this PPV, this match had to have had the most TV time devoted to it. Vince was absolutely giddy at the prospect of the first ever in history Kiss My Foot match, so we had a TON of segments with Lawler showing off comically gunked up bare feet, and so many segments with Bret calling Lawler a scumbag (which, well). But the segments clearly worked because this crowd despises Lawler. They are certainly treating this match as if it was the most important match on the show (though we can compare the reactions to the Bigelow/Diesel tag and Savio/Mabel). And the match itself is fantastic. I've never heard much praise for this match in their feud, but that was tremendous stuff. It's their great complementary styles compacted into 10 minutes, both guys work snug as hell, Lawler takes some of his best and unique bumps, and it's based around such a stupid horseshit mudshow stipulation that is the exact level of stupid horseshit mudshow stipulation that Lawler can get it over in his sleep. 

Hart had some awesome strikes here, really smashing his forearm across Lawler's nose, fast short uppercuts, tight headbutts; late in the match he punches Lawler while Lawler is on his knees, and Lawler takes this gorgeous gunshot bump to the mat. This show did a reported 16,000+ in attendance, and Lawler takes this admirable approach to things and works it like it was in front of 250 people in a church rec room. And this small focus work, getting into verbal spars with fans on all sides of the ring, really hammers home the threat of the stipulation, and this small focus work really starts to work for the entire arena. The match gets great heat and it's a beautiful thing to see small crowd Memphis heel techniques working on a big "workrate" Philly crowd.

Lawler hits three big piledrivers on Bret, all angling Bret off the mat in different ways, but Lawler takes a ton of time between all of them to talk shit to the crowd. Lawler in Philly full time would have been legendary. Then we get a great bit of BS where Lawler takes off his boot and has a bloody moldy sock that he tries to choke Bret with, Bret desperately hold the foot at bay. On the floor Lawler continues to show how he's the best ringpost bumper in wrestling history, getting pulled face first into it in such a convincing bit of magic that I expected to see a bloody nose. There was botched interference from Hakushi, more violent fast bumps from Lawler, a mean snap to Bret's familiar comeback offense (the Russian leg sweep and elbow off the middle rope landed especially sharp), the exact right amount of BS to go with the BS stip, elevated by perfect execution from both. This match was such an excellent use of time and really paid off the perfectly dumb TV time spent on it.

8. Mabel vs. Savio Vega

ER: This was a very good King of the Ring Final, easily the best of the actual KOTR matches tonight. This was an excellent match that the crowd TRIED to turn on with a loud ECW chant, and the match was good enough to get that crowd reinvested in the finish just moments later. Savio came out at the bell looking more impressive than he has in any appearance thus far, as he chopped Mabel into the corner - convincingly - and the visual of him backing up this mountain with chops made him like like a total pitbull. When Mabel is the slumped into the corner, Savio laces in with the best chops of the night; sometimes with both arms, always landing with a huge whipcrack. Savio Vega's attack on Mabel was great, peaking with Savio muscling Mabel over the top to the floor with a huge clothesline, Mabel taking a spectacular tumbling bump. Mabel smooshes Savio, hits his big belly to belly, and works a long bearhug that gets the fans restless. I liked it in the context of the match, Mabel playing the smart game, the odds, but it leads to an ECW chant lead by Straw Hat Guy and several other fans you've been distracted by while watching wrestling shows. But shortly into the comeback they can't deny the quality of the ringwork, and the match gets cheered to the finish. Vega got a great nearfall off a high cradle schoolboy, and also hit one of his best spinning heel kicks, getting unreal height. He gets a big kickout after a huge powerslam, but goes down to a big splash where Mabel really lays him out. This was a main event that did the tournament justice, something the rest of the tournament matches had fallen short of. This eventually got the positive crowd reaction it deserved, but it deserved it earlier.

9. Sycho Sid/Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Diesel

ER: The TV build up to this was all about Sid injuring Diesel's right elbow, Bigelow pledging his undying friendship to Diesel, and Sid making the best possible blinking crazy eyes facials in wrestling. Touched and crazy has always been a mode that wrestlers have struggled with, most commonly going far over the top or being too scared to do so. Sid finds the perfect balance and plays the man just on the edge of snapping better than anyone else. I wish we had a Sid cam, because occasionally the cameras during this era catch Sid on the apron just blinking and talking to himself - and this is during moments where he couldn't possibly know there are any cameras on him. A lot of this is kick and punch, with Bigelow occasionally taking a big dangerous bump to get people back into it. Sid kicks Diesel's elbow from the apron and Tatanka throws some tomahawk chops at it, and we get Sid really bending that bad elbow back across the ring ropes in mean ways, and the heels upheld their end of the bargain. Diesel didn't pay a ton of attention to it, outside of one big moment where he hit an elbowdrop on Sid, using the bad elbow, allowing Sid to go back on the offensive. 

But the problem is Diesel used his bad elbow for EVERYTHING. Every strike thrown, his big side slam, even posting up on the top rope while he was waiting for a tag. He used that elbow the whole damn match, and it really took away from the work of Sid and Tatanka. Bigelow tried some big things, including basically chokeslamming himself off the top rope. Sid backs him in the corner and gets Bigelow seated up on the top, choking him while Bigelow paws at Sid's face. I assume the plan was for him to be chokeslammed off, but Sid, didn't quite grab hold of him, and Bigelow just went for it anyway, taking a nice arcing bump and then selling it well on the mat; later Bigelow his a somersault senton on Tatanka and I'm not even sure that was supposed to happen, as Tatanka drops down and Bigelow does a big cannonball, but lands a little too vertically up on his neck. Considering the cannonball isn't a move that Bigelow commonly used, it felt like he was actually bumping but wasn't expecting Tatanka to be there? Vince and Dok were confused on commentary as well, but I like hearing Vince call it a cannonball. 

They also muff the hot tag to Diesel, as the way everyone was positioned in the ring made it look like Hebner was supposed to miss the tag, and to the crowd used to how tag wrestling works they clearly thought Diesel was going to be sent back to the apron, and even Vince was saying the referee didn't see the tag...but Diesel's hot tag was allowed, and this just means it was performed to no heat. I can't tell if Diesel was selling his elbow when giving Tatanka the Jackknife. He could have been, but if that's the case it just looked like he hit a really poor Jackknife. I do dig the finish of him pulling up Tatanka at 2, then challenging Sid to get in the ring, only for Sid to back down before Diesel pins Tatanka. On a show with too many screwy finishes, at least Sid committed to standing down as a classic heel move.


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WWF In Your House #1 5/14/95

Sometimes you get in the mood to watch the 1995 King of the Ring, but then you just don't feel right watching the 1995 King of the Ring without seeing all of the qualifying matches. How could I enjoy the PPV without seeing what all of the competitors went through on their respective journeys? I couldn't. The first KOTR Qualifier happened on the very first In Your House, that's where we start, and really I can't think of a better place to start.


1. Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

ER: This is one of the more acclaimed matches from the early In Your House shows, and it makes sense that they'd want to start the show off with a solid memorable match, so sure you send Bret out there. He's the guy who could reliably start a show with a good 15 minutes, so you make him work twice and that's just smart booking on your premier "extra" PPV. Hakushi wasn't a guy who was at PPV status at this point, so him opening up the PPV is an impressive role to be put in. It feels like booking to the internet fans, before most of us had the internet. And the match is a little overrated; there are several moments of varying degrees of miscommunication, and I don't love the layout of the first half (Hakushi takes most of it and then Bret just takes over and takes the rest of it, before the hot extended finish).

But this was a good match, and a match with a ton of smart memorable moments that deserves the attention it gets. Hart takes a classic bump chest first into the buckle that allows Hakushi to take over, and the finishing stretch is admittedly great enough to overlook earlier hitches. It all begins with a fantastic moment where Bret is firing back and taking over, his strikes look really sharp tonight, momentum is building, and then Shinya grabs his foot and generally makes his presence known for a third time. Bret takes a killer theatrical bump off the foot grab, really rolling all the way across the ring as if his shoelaces were tied together and he was forced to jog. And Bret responds by running back across the ring and taking out Shinya with a tope! What an all time great sequence. Hart occupies himself really well later on, when Hakushi hits a swank Asai moonsault and Hart tangles with Shinya until the big moment. Plus we get Hart hitting a vertical suplex from the apron to the floor, sending both of them crashing.  Hakushi had really pretty stuff, a perfectly placed top rope diving headbutt, big missed springboard splash, diving clothesline that fans cheered for, and he bumped big for Bret (including a cool flip bump off a lariat), and threw a bunch of great uppercuts. The finish had a couple good nearfalls, and a couple classic moments, so yeah I guess it's deserving of its status.

2. Jeff Jarrett/The Roadie vs. Razor Ramon

ER: Jarrett is wearing a garish Beetlejuice get-up, his '95 ring gear is truly among the worst. And this was also our WWF in-ring debut of The Roadie, another thing to entice the kids into begging their folks to shell out for another PPV. And they'd be getting their monies worth, because this PPV is an easy 2 for 2. Jarrett is great a getting overwhelmed by Razor, but the Jarrett/Roadie control segment was awesome. Roadie was throwing tons of elbowdrops, a big lariat off the middle buckle to the floor, good kneedrop off the middle rope, a fun debut. And Jarrett is a maestro of getting right into position on accidental cross up spots, colliding a couple times with Roadie to the delight of the crowd. Jarrett's offense never looked prettier, his dropkicks best in the business and his mannerisms making him the most punchable dude. Razor came off like the top guy in the company, Jarrett made the pace exciting, this was good.

They jump Razor after losing, and Aldo Montoya comes out to save Razor buts gets tossed fairly quickly over the top to the floor, and then Savio Vega debuts by coming out as an unknown taking all of that hero spotlight that Aldo Montoya desperately wanted to grab. Aldo Montoya, finally seeing his shot, flying down with a ton of heart and no plan. Tony Garea and Rene Goulet and security guards remove the unknown hero Savio Vega from the ring, and you can even see Montoya rolling back into the ring to check on Razor as Savio is lead out. "Yeah you missed what happened, I ran 'em off while you were recovering in the corner, took out both of 'em..."

And then they cut to a Sid package that prominently shows Sid just icing Aldo from several camera angles. And this is a fantastic video package, really making Sid come off like a total killer. Sid makes some of the best faces into the camera, his Psycho Sid music was a campily perfect take on a Harry Manfredini/Bernard Hermann score, and there were great shots of him blinking like a weirdo and then powerbombing big dudes like Bam Bam. This package would have probably made Sid my favorite wrestler had I seen this when it happened.

3. Mabel vs. Adam Bomb

ER: This was big man perfection. This was barely 2 minutes, all killer no filler, a great Bomb performance in a quick loss. A lot of guys could get pouty knowing they have to lose on PPV in under 2 minutes, but Bomb just took the opportunity to show off all his offense. Mabel is a total giant fat guy superstar, he starts the match squishing Bomb with an avalanche, then missing a full speed avalanche bump that shakes the ring. Adam Bomb goes on his big offense run, hits a big flying shoulderblock to Mabel's back - Mabel taking a super fast forward rolling bump through the ropes to the floor, crazy bump - which leads to a nice Bomb pescado. He is constant motion because he knows he has basically one minute to shine. He climbs to the top and hits a big shoulder tackle that Mabel takes his big back bump for. I mean this whole thing kicks ass. Mabel makes quick work on the comeback, hits his rolling heel kick hard into Bomb's stomach, and drops him with a full weight powerslam and just flattens him on the pin. This is how you do a two minute match.

4. Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart/Yokozuna

ER: Hot 5 minute tag, everyone on this show has been really great at making the most of their allotted ring time, it's given the entire show such an exciting pace. Everything feels nicely mapped out to a match's potential effectiveness. Owen tries to one up Bret by taking the same chest first corner bump, but Bret's earlier bump was better. Gunns look good, a couple nice double teams, big dropkicks, hard clothesline, a cool flying elbow; Yokozuna was a great monster, a great brick wall, but also does great vulnerable giant spots like running fast into the ringpost. The finish to this is sudden and violent. Bart misses a crossbody and flies hard into the middle rope and crashes fast to the floor, Cornette causes a distraction, and Yokozuna casually walks over and splats Bart's face with a legdrop. Bart is done.

5. Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

ER: After the Hakushi match, Hart hopped off the apron and tweaked his knee, and ever since that all everyone has talked about on this PPV has been Bret's knee. And then Bret comes out for the match doing this really bad exaggerated limp, and Lawler is laughing and licking his chops, and then it turns out that Bret was just faking the whole thing to make Lawler thing he had an advantage. It's a fun easy story that they kept tending to throughout the evening, and it's far more interesting than just "Bret is having a second match". Lawler was so on point in 1995, maybe only Finlay from this era showed more on selling than him. He was so good at taking and putting over offense, really making Bret's punches snap, doubling over with several different ways of holding his stomach after taking a shot, and takes a really high backdrop. 

Hart drops him with a gorgeous Russian legsweep, nails the elbow, but Hart does basically no sell Lawler's big textbook piledriver, which is a spot I don't like. Hart was only down for 4 seconds or so, and then hit his own piledriver. These two are usually more clever at how to use a spot like that, this felt more like Kurt Angle laying out the match for them. There's a fun BS finish where the ref gets his leg tied up in the ropes because of Shinya, and then Hakushi sneaks in and lays out Hart. Lawler gets this perfect, super obnoxious pinfall on a now knocked out Bret, grabbing his legs and flipping over into a bridge like he was Yoshinari Ogawa. I do wish this one was longer - that we either got more time before the big Hakushi headbutt, or we got a surprise Bret rally after the headbutt - and these two were in a good groove before the interference. We only got 6 minutes and it was the first match on the card that felt like it didn't get the right amount of time.

6. Sid vs. Diesel

ER: Diesel is a guy who I think has aged really great over the past decade. Nash in general was far better in the ring than anyone was giving him credit for 25 years ago. He worked a lot of monster vs. monster matches, and he was really good at creating a King Kong vs. Godzilla feel. Sid had a ton of charisma and presence and that was underrated at the time too. This is what 14 year old me would have wanted from a battle of two giant badasses. Nash was a great babyface and really flew into Sid with big energy: Big elbows, big running lariat, huge leaping corner lariat, really made everything look like buildings falling into each other. Sid is not as exciting on control as he is at letting Nash crash into him, but he has nice simple clubbing forearms and axe handle shots, and holds an okay camel clutch for probably too long. But the big moments play real big, with Sid hitting a big powerbomb that they later say injured Diesel's elbow (featuring a hilarious moment where Vince lead off an episode of Raw shouting in full Vince voice "Tonight we'll check in on Diesel who is recovering from reconstructive elbow surgery!!!"), and Diesel comes back and hits a great one of his own. Tatanka runs in to eventually stomp out Diesel, but it felt like an appropriate finish for what we had been through. This was a real good battle of the monsters, two guys who in the match felt like arguably the biggest babyface vs. the biggest heel.


ER: The first In Your House was a super fun PPV top to bottom, not anything approaching a bad match on the entire card. It's a tight two hours with complementary pairings and everyone feeling like they were trying to put on a big show. There was nothing high level, but one of the highest floors throughout. Super recommended.


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WWE 305 Live: Diesel! Fake Diesel! Undertaker! Phineas!

Undertaker vs. Diesel WWF WrestleMania XII 3/31/96 - GREAT

ER: I thought this was awesome and really captured the gravitas of a real Clash of the Titans match. Diesel worked it slow, and had no problem working it as a heel. And while he was working cool heel, the level of cockiness he had made it work as a cool giant heel foil for Undertaker. It could have been shorter (it was 17 minutes), but I liked the deliberate pace Diesel took to kick Taker's ass. The big man slugfest moments felt big, Diesel throwing his nice short elbows and barely missing big lariats, and Undertaker was smart with his misses. He goes for the flying lariat early and whiffs, and it was a cool heavy missed cannonball bump into the ropes towards the camera. As they brawl on the floor we get a cool moment of Taker missing a chairshot and hitting the ringpost, also toward the camera. The camera work and direction of this match was really impressive, made every landing feel bigger. he 50-50 moments worked well and had cool moments like both men hitting the big boot at the same time (and it actually looking good), but the match got even better as Diesel acted cockier. Diesel's expression after finally hitting the Jackknife was the absolute best, him soaking up the boos from the crowd, leaning against the ropes, the greatest unflappable egg. I liked the simple way he got heat with the crowd throughout, and I like how it played into Undertaker's slow ascent. Diesel just leaning on the ropes, pointing and laughing at their undead god, and the way Taker sat up and eventually choked Diesel to his feet, that's pro wrestling right there. Undertaker falling with the chokeslam made it feel almost too heavy for him to handle, and was a great visual. The tombstone was a great match ending exclamation point, and this whole thing felt like an exercise in big man formula minimalism. We had big moves - the powerbomb, the tombstone - but the match had a lot of space and they left a lot of time for things to soak, to the match's benefit.

Fake Diesel vs. Phineas Godwinn WWF Raw 12/2/96 - FUN

ER: This is just about the bottom of the barrel, and even this wasn't terrible. It's the gatekeeper of the truly bad. Nothing actually looked bad, but it was a little sluggish, a little by the numbers, and you're just faced the whole time with the undeniably lame Fake Diesel gimmick. Jacobs did really well at doing a half decent Diesel impression, but it's not really noble to do a great version of a really bad idea. It's gotta be tough going out there during SNL with material you know is lame, and this feels like that. Still, his elbows looked decent, he hit a nice sideslam (with Vince laughing out, "Oh my! Phineas, what a load."), good vertical leap on the legdrop, it all looked fine. But it's so odd seeing him ape mannerisms and after awhile it felt like "and here's the next piece of Diesel offense you remember." Phineas didn't get enough of a comeback, basically hitting a suplex and going for the slop drop, but Vince points out he's a dummy for getting distracted by Fake Razor Ramon. The finish is kind of cool in an unintended way, as Diesel doesn't quite get Phineas up for a powerbomb, but doesn't give up on it and muscles him up before dropping him safely. I dig when there is unintentional struggle like that, makes things feel more earned and real. Shoot. Maybe for that I'm going to bump this up to FUN. It's the gatekeeper. Needed more Phineas.


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Coliseum Video Thanksgiving: Inside the WWF 1994

ER: My great buddy Josh is over today for Thanksgiving, Rachel is downstairs slaving away on an incredible feast, and Coliseum Videos are just about Josh's favorite kind of wrestling. So as we awaited our magnificent feast (and my god was it so far beyond epic, full Thanksgiving dinner, all prepped by Rachel, completely unreal that she went through this and nailed it. I don't deserve a damn thing), we decided to pop in this fresh crunchy slab of VHS. He liked the sound of the vignettes on this one, so we tossed it into the Video Cassette Recorder instead of wasting our time watching football. And our first visual is of Bret being caught in the locker room wearing nothing but a towel. Inside the WWF indeed.

Crush vs. Undertaker

ER: I cannot think of a wrestler I ever cared less about than Crush. Every single iteration. I can't at all remember getting excited for a Crush appearance, no matter my age. It's possible that I hated his ombre mullet, without being able to formulate those feelings into words or concrete thoughts. But this is actually kinda decent. Crush hits Taker in the jaw with the edge of a chair, and does an awesome press slam spot, pressing Taker several times before slamming him, Taker misses his crossbody in cool almost Dustin Rhodes fashion, and really it was probably as interesting as it was going to be. Not a bad start.

Razor Ramon/Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels/Diesel

ER: What a weird commentary duo on this, Stan Lane and Ted Dibiase. Lane does this weird thing where he literally commentates while doing a Vince impression. He tries to make his voice sound exactly like Vince, and what's weird is that he actually DOES sound like Vince. And the match is fun as they start with Diesel/Jannetty which is really smart, as it builds right away to Razor coming in. Michaels pops in occasionally to cockily get a cheap shot and tag out, so mostly we get Diesel dominating Jannetty, and it's great. Diesel drops him with a huge backbreaker and stretches him over his knee, hits a hard big boot, locks in a tight bearhug that Marty is great at selling (even letting out an anguished "OH GOD" during a tight squeeze), and it's such a surprising layout. On paper you'd expect to see Marty and Shawn work most of this, but Diesel is in there for 90% of the match, and it builds to this gigantic Razor hot tag. The hot tag just flat out explodes Razor hits the awesome 360 punch to knock Diesel off the apron, and we get a cool moment where Jannetty drags himself back in to hit a superkick on Shawn, and Razor absolutely plants him with a like a Rock Bottom chokeslam for the pin. This was cool.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

ER: This is super Tatanka heavy at the beginning, with a bunch of Tatanka offense that only starts by him reversing a Bigelow slam in some way. Like Bam Bam picks hit up in a big slam and eats a DDT. Bam Bam is really great at making Tatanka's offense look good. Tatanka crashes and burns on a big crossbody off the top to allow Bam Bam to take over for the first time. Bammer hits a couple really nice headbutts, with Tatanka selling them really great, like he got socked in the eye. Tatanka rolls to the floor to recover, and "He's been out there since the Eisenhower administration," says Johnny Polo in reference to Tatanka being wrecked on the floor, in a reference that surely seemed dated 25 years ago when this video hit stores. I like Bam Bam a lot here, splatting Tatanka with his butt off a sunset drop, nice powerslam, convincingly jaws with the crowd to give Tatanka his comeback, and damn does he bump HUGE for Tatanka's comeback. He flies so high up into the air for a shoulderblock, like he was a jobber bumping for the Pounce, and he takes this wild bump to the floor on a tomahawk chop, just flying out through the bottom ropes and flying past the apron to the floor really fast. He gets counted out, and then comes in with a pair of scissors to attack to Tatanka, which is an angle I don't remember. Bigelow keeps trying to cut his hair and I don't remember any hair match angles from this era, but Tatanks (accidentally misspelled that but I kinda like Tatanks) gets the scissors and confusedly looks at Bam Bam's smooth dome.......and then grabs Luna's mullet and the crowd goes APE. Earl Hebner runs down and fucking KICKS the scissors out of the hand, and this whole thing took a weird and awesome turn. I dug all of this.

Bret Hart vs. Adam Bomb

ER: There's a white girl with mousey brown hair and braces who flips her lid for Hart's entrance music. Had I known her, that girl would have been my world.  Boy Bryan Clark certainly was a guy who was in professional wrestling for awhile. But a guy like Adam Bomb is a pretty perfect Bret opponent, because all you need is a couple slams and a decent back elbow and Bret would work decently with that. We pepper in a couple cool brief Bret comebacks, like when Bomb goes for a forearm and hits the ringpost. Bomb isn't great, but he's fairly engaging while working the chinlock that leads to Bret's comeback. They zoom in to show Bomb's lizard eye contacts and it hits me that we hadn't got a closeup on those eyes. If I had to put in those uncomfortable fucking contacts and they didn't show me in close up I would be pisssssssssed. Like Sean Astin having to wake up an hour early on the LOTR set to get giant feet glued on, that we would rarely see on film. Hart's comeback is switched up a little: no backbreaker, but still a big Russian leg sweep, misses the elbow off the middle to give a cool tease of a possible Hart loss, overall this was about what you'd expect from a Hart vs. stiff match. But, that's a formula enjoy, a comfortable formula.

Doink vs. Randy Savage

ER: And this is actually pretty great. This is still Matt Borne, who is obviously a really good match up for Savage, and both guys work really hard. Savage takes a few totally unnecessary bumps to the floor, not even doing any moves, just doing planchas to the floor and landing on his feet to show frustration. A lot of this match weirdly happens outside, there's a lot of Savage going after Doink and Doink trying to avoid him, Savage all energy. Borne is great at his character here, and I like that he's hardly laughing like he usually did, just annoying Savage. He misses the Whoopie Cushion which is a tough move to hit and miss, and eats a great Savage lariat to the floor. A second Doink gets involved, crawls under the ring, and sneaks up on Savage and hits a nasty shot right to the back of the his head. Under ring Doink then holds Savage's leg when he spills to the floor, so the original Doink wins by count out. I thought it was a pretty awesome way to do a count out finish and the match structure was really weird, so much time spent outside the ring. Annoyingly, lamely, Savage gets the referee to come back out and check under the ring and gets the match reversed in his favor when they find another Doink. That brought it back more into Coliseum territory.

ER: We get this weird and WONDERFUL 10 second segment with Earthquake, where we just bump into fun, chill, ultra casual Earthquake backstage wearing a windbreaker, who just says "Oh hey guys,   it's your old friend Earthquake, just letting you know that I'm back!" That's weird. I mean it was great, but it's weird right?

Ludvig Borga vs. Razor Ramon

ER: This is really exciting as it's the only Coliseum Video that Borga made it on to, and they make him look really strong against Razor. The early part of the match is all Borga, knocking Razor to the floor, literally just shoving Razor to the floor out of a lock up (great spot), big shoulderblock that knocks Razor on his butt, and we get an actual great knucklelock exchange that has Borga do a long build to Ramon getting powered down to his knees, but fighting back to do a cool knucklelock Northern Lights suplex. Borga gets a lot, some of it good (a nice fast wind up elbow) some of it had its heart in the right place (big flying clothesline). Borga even gets a kind of shocking pinfall, as he hits a lariat off the top and gets an actual 3 count, but Razor's foot was on the ropes. There's a really nice suplex by Razor, bringing Borga in from the apron, great tease around Borga suplexing Ramon to the floor, but both men go down selling once Razor suplexes him in the ring. We get a really weird Finnish (HA!!!!!!) when Michaels runs in and cracks Razor in the head with the belt, and after a long period of both men being down they actually let Borga get the pin. Borga celebrates all around the ring with the title and looks crushed when they take it away, and this was during that weird time when there were two IC title belts so there are just too many belts around the ring and nobody knows what is happening. Those are two weirdly overbooked finishes in a row on this tape. Borga really took 80% of the match and Hall bumped all over for him, totally delivered what I wanted it to.

Shawn Michaels vs. Lex Luger

ER: You know who was great? Lex Luger. That guy was great, loved him during all his 95/96 WCW run, and here he is looking great. Go figure. Michaels is also IC champ in this match (Ramon was IC champ in the prior match, they were doing some thing where Michaels was claiming he never lost the belt) and heel Michaels was unquestionably the best iteration of him. He's a little sluggish on offense here, does a chinlock that drags a bit, but bumps impressively for Luger's big offense run, and Luger looks fantastic in it. Luger's shoulderblocks and lariats were on, hits a great back elbow, nice powerslam, Luger looked like clearly the best babyface in the company here. Sadly Michaels immediately opts to get counted out so he won't lose his title that isn't his, and Luger used the old Narcissist forearm and really smashes Diesel with it. I didn't actually realize Luger used that metal plate forearm once he was All American. Finish to this couldn't have been much lamer, but the words itself was the goods.

Cage Match: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

ER: I know I've seen this match before and really liked it, and my memories were totally correct because this is awesome. Yoko was so damn good and Bret worked snug enough here that he always looked totally plausible as a guy doing damage to Yoko. Bret is smart about this as most of his advantages comes with Yoko missing big offense, like a big elbowdrop and a big legdrop or missing a charge into the cage, and Bret would take over from all of those things with nice uppercuts, with Yoko not being fazed for long. They did a bunch of really smart stuff around cage escapes, good teases, with one amusing one where Hart is almost over the top and gets yanked down by one big Yoko arm. Hart does really great with it, dropping fast onto the top rope dick first and Yoko starts laughing. Yoko is so great here, I mentioned Hart worked snug to make up for the size difference, but Yoko has a bunch of great shots I don't remember him using including just a straight punch right to the throat, also a sick uppercut. And since a lot of the match is built around Yokozuna missing big moves so Bret can work in offense, he also misses things I don't remember him ever doing, like a big splash. For as big as he was I don't remember Yoko ever just doing a standing splash. Yoko really bumps around big for Hart, loved that big flat back banana peel bump, and Hart actually hits the Russian Leg Sweep on him, except he does it exactly like the Zig Zag since Yoko would be impossible to leg sweep. Finish is complicated but it's unique because it's drawn out compared to other similar finishes of the era. Yoko brings in his ancient ceremonial salt bucket because that's a thing, and he and Hart trade using it as a weapon. Once it got brought in I assumed it was a one and done, Yoko hitting Hart and escaping, or Yoko losing and being hit and Hart escaping, but they did some more teasing with that. This match got a lot of time, 20 minutes plus, but they were so clever with how they milked everything. This match ruled.

ER: This tape was killer, one of the best Coliseum releases out there. It bookended a really special Thanksgiving, and I'm still completely full while finishing this. I have stopped typing several times to eat pie. Caramel apple pecan pie. It's impossible. Happy Thanksgiving!

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