WWF Raw 7/8/96: Three On Paper Bangers

So I threw on this episode of Raw because I wanted to see the main event, a big ol' hoss battle of Vader and The British Bulldog vs. The Godwinns. But then I saw the whole episode was comprised of three matches, all of them intriguing on paper. The whole episode ran 48 minutes long, and I figure watching three intriguing matches in under an hour was a decent enough use of my time. The episode was famously the last WWF in ring appearance of Ultimate Warrior, with Gorilla Monsoon opening the show talking about his suspension, and how he now has to put up a performance bond to guarantee he'll appear. Now, obviously this show was taped before Warrior no-showed one show too many, but it's interesting that they were basically negotiating with Warrior on air, and Vince ends up spending much of his match with Owen saying things like "well we hope we'll get to see more of The Warrior..."


Owen Hart vs. The Ultimate Warrior

ER: This was a real impressive Owen performance, because Warrior gassed hard during his ring entrance. I know that's kind of a thing Warrior is known for, but it seemed especially bad here. The fans liked the entrance, and Owen was really good at filling the recovery time well. He took two big Warriors clotheslines to the floor, ran hard into a powerslam (that Warrior didn't even go down for, just rotated through and stayed on his feet) and got major height on a flapjack. Owen even did a super painful Bret turnbuckle chest bump and staggered back into a Warrior side slam. Warrior was realllly tired, with one incredibly long shot of him just slowly walking around the ring, mouth open the entire time, sucking wind. Owen worked real well with a super tired opponent, and still didn't half ass things like missed clotheslines, cutting low to at least make Warrior duck. Those are the kinds of things you do in a one man performance to make the other guy look like he's contributing, and it works. I liked how Owen finally transitioned to offense, with Warrior catching knees on a big splash, and it's tough work doing your run of offense against someone who can't really move a lot to take offense. Luckily, things like Owen's enziguiri work fine for the circumstances, and when Warrior finally catches his wind his comeback looks good. Owen was really good at setting up hard Warrior clotheslines and his big flying shoulderblock before Bulldog ran in for the DQ. This was 10 minutes of Owen out there catering an entire match to someone who wasn't moving great through much of it, and that's the kind of thing I'll always be impressed with.


Savio Vega vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

ER: This was pretty messy, and pretty free of structure, but they tried to overcome those two things by running into each other real hard and real often and that's a good strategy! There was a fair bit of miscommunication, moves that hit when they were supposed to miss, and both being slightly out of position for things. It felt like they got sent out there to fill a LOT of time and didn't have a full plan on just how to fill nearly 15 minutes. It's a lot, and so nothing really stuck, they just kept getting up and hitting each other with something new. Bradshaw had a couple big boots, a couple nice elbowdrops (and a big elbowdrop miss), both hit heavy bodyslams, just a couple guys who have no problem mixing it up. The best part of Bradshaw is when he bites off a little more than he can chew and does a move he doesn't know how to hold back on. An example of this is Bradshaw hitting a killer flying shoulderblock off the top. He doesn't know how to work the move, so he just jams his shoulder flying full force into Savio and then landing just as hard. Savio's corner spinkick is an awesome highlight here, and Vega went into Bradshaw really fast and whipped quickly to the floor. It's such a good visual. The finish is really well done too, as Zebekiah grabs Vega's foot to cause him to stumble, but it was when Bradshaw was already set to level him with the clothesline from Hell! So Vega stumbles under Bradshaw's lariat and Bradshaw does a fantastic miss as he crashes into the ropes, getting hit with Vega's spinning heel kick as he's getting up. Great, great finish. Also, throughout the match Lawler and Vince were speculating on who the mystery partner for Michaels and Ahmed was going to be, and it lead to this bizarre exchange:

Lawler: Maybe it's Anthony Quinn!
Vince: Anthony Quinn? He's 81 years old!
Lawler:...Maybe one of his sons?

Vince responded so quickly, the whole thing played like Jerry and George chatting at the diner.


Vader/British Bulldog vs. The Godwinns

ER: This was a slightly better put together version of the Savio/Bradshaw match. It really felt like none of these guys knew exactly how much time they were going to be filling with their match, making it tough to construct a beginning/middle/end. Owen/Warrior was clearly mapped out for its entire 10 minutes, but this tag was so similar to the prior match in that it had no direction, but with clearly planned finishes. So in both matches they knew exactly where they were going to wind up, but it's as if they weren't told how long they had to get there. That would be really tough to do! But these are all big guys, and so while there was some aimlessness and a little repetition, it's still a ton of beef slamming into everything. Vader and Bulldog felt like they could have been a really awesome team, even thought they only wound up teaming 5 times. Bulldog as the (much) smaller member of a team was a cool vibe, and they had good team chemistry right off the bat. Bulldog would do power spots and Vader would be all about the smashing and flattening. That's such a cool combo. Their finisher here was Vader hitting a lariat to the back of Phineas's head, sending him right into a Bulldog powerslam. Before that we got a lot of these four crashing into each other in cool ways. Dickhead heel Vader is so good, this mammoth man who takes cheap shots without needing to. He gets into the match by throwing a knee from the apron, then comes in and starts throwing body shots. Vader throws one of my favorite elbowdrops in wrestling history, second probably only to Stan Hansen, and he drops a couple of beauties here, the best one to break up a pin. Poor Phineas just eating a Vader elbowdrop to the middle of his back. Vader also throws a mean as hell clothesline, but he also takes a great Henry vertical suplex (probably a little early in the match to eat a big suplex, but that was Vader). This would have been better with a tighter story arc, but I love these four together here and I am saddened at the prospect of so little Vader/Bulldog. Cherish what we do have.

Read more!

WWE 305 Live: Diesel! Fake Diesel! Undertaker! Phineas!

Undertaker vs. Diesel WWF WrestleMania XII 3/31/96 - GREAT

ER: I thought this was awesome and really captured the gravitas of a real Clash of the Titans match. Diesel worked it slow, and had no problem working it as a heel. And while he was working cool heel, the level of cockiness he had made it work as a cool giant heel foil for Undertaker. It could have been shorter (it was 17 minutes), but I liked the deliberate pace Diesel took to kick Taker's ass. The big man slugfest moments felt big, Diesel throwing his nice short elbows and barely missing big lariats, and Undertaker was smart with his misses. He goes for the flying lariat early and whiffs, and it was a cool heavy missed cannonball bump into the ropes towards the camera. As they brawl on the floor we get a cool moment of Taker missing a chairshot and hitting the ringpost, also toward the camera. The camera work and direction of this match was really impressive, made every landing feel bigger. he 50-50 moments worked well and had cool moments like both men hitting the big boot at the same time (and it actually looking good), but the match got even better as Diesel acted cockier. Diesel's expression after finally hitting the Jackknife was the absolute best, him soaking up the boos from the crowd, leaning against the ropes, the greatest unflappable egg. I liked the simple way he got heat with the crowd throughout, and I like how it played into Undertaker's slow ascent. Diesel just leaning on the ropes, pointing and laughing at their undead god, and the way Taker sat up and eventually choked Diesel to his feet, that's pro wrestling right there. Undertaker falling with the chokeslam made it feel almost too heavy for him to handle, and was a great visual. The tombstone was a great match ending exclamation point, and this whole thing felt like an exercise in big man formula minimalism. We had big moves - the powerbomb, the tombstone - but the match had a lot of space and they left a lot of time for things to soak, to the match's benefit.

Fake Diesel vs. Phineas Godwinn WWF Raw 12/2/96 - FUN

ER: This is just about the bottom of the barrel, and even this wasn't terrible. It's the gatekeeper of the truly bad. Nothing actually looked bad, but it was a little sluggish, a little by the numbers, and you're just faced the whole time with the undeniably lame Fake Diesel gimmick. Jacobs did really well at doing a half decent Diesel impression, but it's not really noble to do a great version of a really bad idea. It's gotta be tough going out there during SNL with material you know is lame, and this feels like that. Still, his elbows looked decent, he hit a nice sideslam (with Vince laughing out, "Oh my! Phineas, what a load."), good vertical leap on the legdrop, it all looked fine. But it's so odd seeing him ape mannerisms and after awhile it felt like "and here's the next piece of Diesel offense you remember." Phineas didn't get enough of a comeback, basically hitting a suplex and going for the slop drop, but Vince points out he's a dummy for getting distracted by Fake Razor Ramon. The finish is kind of cool in an unintended way, as Diesel doesn't quite get Phineas up for a powerbomb, but doesn't give up on it and muscles him up before dropping him safely. I dig when there is unintentional struggle like that, makes things feel more earned and real. Shoot. Maybe for that I'm going to bump this up to FUN. It's the gatekeeper. Needed more Phineas.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE WWE 305 LIVE

Read more!