Coliseum Video Thanksgiving: Smack 'Em Whack 'Em (+ Bonus JAPW!)

As has happened the past few years, my friend Josh came over on Thanksgiving and we played video games and watched a Coliseum Video. I'm not sure we intended this to become a tradition, but whenever Josh comes over he tends to want to either play old NES games, Silent Hill 2, watch a Coliseum Video, or watch old WCW. This time he chose to just wear a Silent Hill 2 long sleeve while watching a Coliseum Video, and this was the one he chose. It's a pretty legendary tape, often regarded as the best in the series due to the selection of Bret Hart matches. I will not spend any sentences beyond this one writing up any of the Bushwhacker segments that happen between every single match of this tape. 

Berzerker vs. Crush 

ER: Oh my god this was GOOD! It was also WEIRD! Because Crush appeared to be completely zonked out of his mind on something, anything. His eyes were really shut and it felt like Berzerker had to keep kicking him his the face a bunch just to keep him awake. Berzerker has to put in a real overdrive performance, Crush taking a beating that only built to his big comeback. I am not trying to paint too negative a portrait of Crush, but there was just something very off and very far away about his mannerisms in this match. Kona Crush was one of my least liked guys in WWF. I hated his look, hated his fluffy frosted mullet, hated his chubby baby fat face. Crush was not a wrestler I looked forward to seeing. But this was arguably the most I have enjoyed him, and we can point directly to Berzerker as the reason. Berzerker put over Crush's strength HUGE, and it was great. They do a couple tests of strength, one ending with Berzerker getting thrown backwards and taking his fast backwards bump over the top to the floor, and then a shoulderblock exchange sees him also quickly whip himself over to the floor. I love that bump. Berzerker comes back in with a big boot and the Crush admirably takes his own bump to the floor, opting to go out through the middle ropes but taking it more like a luchador, which looked weird but cool. 

Berzerker controls things with these great annoying boots to the head, not letting Crush get to his feet, just stalking around him and needling him with these push kicks. He hits a big delayed piledriver, and it's a shame (and also logical) that he didn't break out the piledriver more as he has a nice one. He misses the big kneedrop which gives Crush an opening, and Crush hits a really nice atomic drop and a side slam, before squeezing Berzerker's head until he passed out. I was realllllly hoping for one minor Berzerker comeback during the head squeeze, such as him looking as if he might fight out of it, before eventually succumbing. It did take Crush awhile to finish him with the vice, so perhaps we were supposed to be interpreting that as Berzerker fighting through it, but I would have liked that visually represented better. Still, this match was so good, which is a strong upgrade over every single online review I found. Those reviews collectively described this match as essentially the saddest fart sound in the world. And they were wrong. If anything, this was a joyous, confident, trumpeting fart sound, delivered in front of your friends and family, who would go on to share in your joy. 

Earthquake vs. Repo Man

ER: I was hoping for more Earthquake here, and the crowd is really quiet for a lot of Repo Man's control. Repo tries to use his verbal skills to get the crowd engaged, and I thought it was hilarious when he locked a headlock on Earthquake and said "I got him now!" Gorilla Monsoon calls Earthquake "Mr. Quake". Which would make his first name Earth, I suppose. "Mr. Quake is my father's name. Call me Earth." To be fair to Repo Man, Earthquake doesn't sell his offense very engagingly. He falls down a couple times, but is a little quiet in his emotion. He catches Repo off an attempted top rope axe handle in a bearhug and hits a nice powerslam, nice elbowdrop, does that awesome Earthquake thing where he just steps on and walks over someone's chest, and then brings that big Canadian butt down on Repo's chest. Babyface Earthquake might make more sense against a bigger heel challenger, but Repo Man was not someone the crowd was interested in seeing give Mr. Quake any issues. 

"Cooking for the Single Man"

ER: This is a segment with Yokozuna eating a comical amount of food in a Japanese restaurant. It was not discussing his relationship status, but we were rather seeing just how much food one single, solitary man could eat. Okerlund is there doing kind of running commentary and seeming genuinely amazed by how many buffet size portions of sushi Yoko manages to quickly engulf. They grill up 6 pounds of shrimp, 10 ribeye steaks, just a huge amount of food. Gene keeps bringing up how there is no way they could eat this much food, and Yokozuna just stares directly at the food the whole time. Gene is talking to Yokozuna and asking questions, but Fuji answers all of them while Yoko just stares mesmerized by the grilled shrimp and steaks. It should be noted that Yokozuna used chopsticks to eat this massive amount of food, and he is really great at using them. That is some unexpected dedication. He houses so much food in this clip. It's the most method performance, just a man filming a home video segment on his day off where he gets to eat 25,000 calories without getting up. Gene, Fuji, and Yokozuna were all perfect in their roles. Top end Coliseum segment.  

Ladder Match: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

ER: This is one of the reasons this tape was so popular, a ladder match before the more famous Michaels ladder matches. It's probably my favorite era of Michaels to watch, as he's more of a conniving big bumping heel and still has Sherri singing his theme song and looking like a smokeshow at ringside. He takes nice bumps into the turnbuckles, into the ringpost, and a great shotgun blast bump after Hart leans full body weight into a European uppercut. There's some strong Sherri distraction that leads to Shawn quickly climbing a ladder in ring and come fingertips away from grabbing the belt, and the climbing is a real strength in this match. A lot of ladder match quality really hinges on climbing for me, because as uninteresting as climbing something can be, it's an important aspect of this stipulation. The best ladder matches have climbing that doesn't insult your intelligence. Michaels gets knocked off the ladder and gets a real lucky break when the ladder falls over directly onto him but the ladder bounces off the middle rope before getting to him. That top step would have dropped right onto his teeth. Both guys take nice bumps off the ladder, and Michaels continues flying around for Bret's final stretch run, takes a great teeter totter bump into the ladder, and there's a nasty moment where Hart hooks his leg in the ladder bumping off it. I think it was exactly how to take the bump, but it looked like his knee got snagged in a disgusting way. They really take turns taking painful bumps around the ring, and Bret finally grabs the belt after Michaels lands crotch first into the ropes, hitting the ropes, apron, and floor in three successive great bumps. 

Kamala vs. Bret Hart

ER: This was a real favorite of mine when I rented this tape as a kid. I always loved Kamala and this might have been his best full match during his 90s WWF run. Hart is someone who is just going to be better than most at working around Kamala, and Kamala really tightened things up against Bret. Bret knows how to stick and move and the moments where Kamala catches him are great, hitting big overhand chops and catching Bret right under the chin with a mule kick. Hart does a bunch of great things like stomping on Kamala's bare feet (why wouldn't anyone do that??) and I adore Kamala selling his stomped toes. Kamala really plays up the savage role here, and really does an awesome job working up to Bret's pace. There's a dropdown/leap frog exchange that some wouldn't believe, a great leap from the Ugandan giant, in a match filled with cool cutoff spots from Kamala. Kamala was always catching Bret with a cross chop to the throat or a bearhug, and Hart's comebacks were all so satisfying. Hart hit maybe the finest side Russian legsweep I've ever seen in this match, knowing that he would have to throw it completely on the much larger man. You see Bret working through every single step of the move, and it's so gorgeous. He traps Kamala's arm, hooks his neck, grapevines the leg, then hits it. These two are a wonderful pairing, and I loved how logically and interestingly this match worked through its story, a really strong way to fill an 8 minute match. The Kim Chee botched distraction leading to a high leverage school boy is the most believable way you can beat a monster like this. I love this match. 

Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

ER: This is undeniably a match that could make a Coliseum Video tape infamous. An actual World title changing hands in a match that hadn't been seen before. The tape makes no effort to hide the fact that Hart wins the World title on this tape, as Lord Alfred Hayes reveals 30 seconds into the tape that later on we WILL see Bret Hart win the World Wrestling Federation Championship from Ric Flair, in a match that is available ONLY on this release. And for two guys whose egos will not allow them to acknowledge their in ring chemistry with each other, I think these two were a real natural pair. This is a great match and maybe the best time for these two to have crossed paths. I don't think you can get a better crossing of career axis, just the best time for these two to have their best possible singles match. 

Flair is super expressive throughout the whole long title match, and his yelps and screams really help put over a Bret hammerlock and other surprise Bret offense. Flair is a guy who, at this point in my wrestling viewing, I have seen so much that I no longer get excited for. But I can still get sucked into a strong Flair performance, and this was a strong Flair performance. He doesn't undersell himself by stooging around, and really acts like a guy who knows all the tricks and knows when to apply them. He's really smart at reversing Bret's offense, with the absolute best reversal coming on a sunset flip attempt. He basically  moonwalks with the momentum of the move until he regains his footing and punches downward to break it. Everyone always instinctually sends their weight forward, working against the move, but Flair treats it like a treadmill whose pace you have to match to keep your balance. Now, we do get a spot where Flair gets his full ass shown while Bret yanked his trunks down (and Hart really holds those trunks HIGH) and Flair takes a backdrop bump while still fiddling with his trunks. You would not believe how loud a Saskatoon crowd can get after seeing the toned buns of a man in his mid 40s. Hart's bumps make Flair look like a guy who knows how to utilize his strengths, and he uses two different sick sternum bumps into the turnbuckles to create openings for Flair. 

All of the work around roll ups, backslides, and the leg work to set up figure fours or sharpshooters was always engaging. Flair works a cool "stalking" portion down the back side of the match, dragging Hart around the ring by his arm or leg, holding Bret's arm while shooting a kick right across the jaw, throwing short uppercut punches that are my very favorite Flair punches, and Bret is always smart enough to know to grab a leg for a flash nearfall. All of Flair's offense looks fantastic here, everything looking like it just rocks Bret. It's genuinely impressive to me when Bret is able to shrug off Flair's chops, as they all look like really lightning bolts. We get an awesome moment leading to Bret's triumphant title win, when he takes a HARD chop and looks Flair straight in the eye while calmly removing both of his singles straps to invite one last chop. This whole match is so well worked, the time filled so well, building to a conclusive and deserving title win in Canada. This match deserves its reputation, and is the kind of match that would make an entire Coliseum Video worthwhile. 

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

ER: Ramon has to work a pretty generous match here, as he works the whole thing as if he's a lot smaller than the Undertaker, except he's at worst the same exact size as the Undertaker. Taker is a pretty big lug in this one, and Ramon doesn't seem fully used to being the "smaller big bumping guy" for a guy who is the same size as him. So the ropewalk smash doesn't look great, and Ramon does really well to make some of this offense look effective. But Ramon wasn't fully comfortable in the character at this point (just a few months later he was so much more comfortable in his gimmick and mannerisms), and there wasn't a ton to work with in a zombie Taker performance. There was one long spot where Ramon hits three straight very nice elbowdrops, and Taker just takes them like a real dead fish, not acknowledging that any offense is being done in any way. And that's just not an interesting gimmick or match development for me. 

BONUS THANKSGIVING  JAPW!!!

Homicide/Sandman vs. Da Hit Squad JAPW 2/3/01

PAS: IWTV put up 30+ JAPW shows as a special Thanksgiving treat, so while I am crazy busy today I thought I would add something to Eric's Thanksgiving post. This was in the ECW arena and it was clear that these guys were the spiritual successors to ECW. We get a full Sandman entrance and it is crazy how much taller he is than the doghouse guys, he looks like Robert Fuller. Much of this match is Hit Squad as big bumping heels for the triumphant babyface team. I tend to think of the DHS as guys stiffing rookies and tossing them into walls, but they are also great as stooging guys taking flip bumps and getting stiffed by the Sandman. Apparently Sandman was really into swantons in 2001? Great looking Swanton's too, he hits one with Monsta under the ladder, and one to put Mafia through a table. Finish was nuts with Mack getting lifted for the Cop Killa and Sandman adding a little momentum by shoving his legs, making Mack over rotate a bit so he takes it right on his neck. It's about the nastiest bump I have seen for a move that always ends up nasty. 

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Coliseum Video Thanksgiving: Rampage '92

ER: In what has become somewhat of a Thanksgiving tradition, my friend Josh is over on a brisk Thanksgiving day, the heater in the house is turned up, and Josh brought a bag of Coliseum Videos with him (as well as TWO full pies. I'm looking at YOU Pear Cardamom). We randomly grabbed one, and the choice was the EXTREMELY great looking on paper Rampage '92. We pop it into the VCR, and it turns out Rampage '92 has an Old West theme! Sean Mooney is in a old west town like he's in Mad Dog McCree and he shoots a man! Some bronco buster talks trash to Mooney and Mooney just turns around and shoots him! Twice! This tape is going to be great.

Razor Ramon vs. The Undertaker

ER: The fans are weirdly not into this one, but it's really fun and low-key awesome. The slugfest spots all look good but get no reaction, and the two seem to noticeably ramp things up to win the crowd over. Taker takes a bunch of big bumps, missing a high leap elbow, dropping hard on his tailbone for a legdrop, takes a lariat to the floor, and in the coolest moment of the match gets absolutely launched off the top when going for the rope walk. Ramon evens breaks out a chair - stealing it from a security guard! - and bashes Undertaker in the kidneys! And that wasn't a DQ I guess! Gorilla really puts over Taker eating a chairshot to the kidneys, and this is SUPER important because it actually makes Razor Ramon's abdominal stretch make sense!! Ramon goes for a chokeslam which is some nice hubris, only to get reversed, then Taker goes to chokeslam him again and Ramon does a cool escape by using the ropes. And then he just says fuck it and walks out and gets counted out. He knew when to fold 'em, and I respect that.

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

ER: I can't get super excited for a match between these two. They've matched up a lot. BUT this is a very fun version of their touring match. When these two weren't such total cocks to each other and were generous in the ring with each other, they really did match up nice. Bret is insanely crisp in this match, every strike, every shoulderblock, every elbow, every clothesline, they all looked amazing. Shawn doesn't bump theatrically here, he bumps HARD. There are two different ridiculously fast and hard bumps, one off a simple shoulderblock, the other off a gorgeous diving lariat to the back of his head, and the two were just like chocolate and peanut butter, perfect complementary parts. Sherri is at ringside and an absolute treasure, cutting promos constantly, looking like a wrestling character in a John Waters movie. This was basically the best era of Michaels, before too much ego took over. He was a really fun heel and made for a fun act with Sherri. And I liked his big heavy bumps, liked his strikes thrown with dickhead aggression, does cool running knees, nice backslide, just a good pro wrestler. He was a like a tighter John Tatum, easily the best iteration of him. I thought this match-up was played out when it started, but they really were satisfying opponents, and this was one of the tighter matches I've seen from them.

40 Man Battle Royal

ER: This is just beautiful. And this is an entirely DIFFERENT battle royal than the infamous Berzerker 40 man. This is worth it just for the entrances, as everyone comes out single file and at LEAST 15 people in this are total pasty nobodies. Some of the nobodies (Rick Johnson? Dublin Destroyer?) actually have decent looks and builds but went absolutely nowhere to my knowledge. There are future names like Glen Ruth, and what's cool is that we don't get exclusively jobbers getting eliminated early. In the other 40 man the opening was so great, with Kerry Von Erich just hiptossing every single jobber to the floor immediately, while Berzerker stomped them all in the head. Well in this 40 man, a lot of the jobbers stay in really long! Guys like Jerry Sags and IRS get eliminated before half of the nobodies, and I thought that was pretty awesome. There are plenty of great moments, like Knobbs trying an honest to god shoot takedown of Bret, and Bret completely stuffing it and dropping a full force knee to Knobbs' chest. I swear to you. Glen Ruth and Duane Gill make the final 10, and they pair off in a way that says "Maybe nobody will notice us if we just punch each other". The final 4 is brilliant, as it's British Bulldog, Bret Hart, and THE BEVERLY BROTHERS! Obviously they don't win, but they both get to eliminate Bret! Bulldog smokes them, icing the cake by press slamming Beau into Blake, and it rules. The format of this battle royal was so good, such a unique look with 40 guys shoved into the ring at the same time

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

ER: The match itself is simple, the chops looked good, it was somewhat dull, but it always amazes me how into Tatanka everyone was. There was some of the power of just WWF telling this guy is someone worth rooting for, but fans also really took to Tatanka. And yet he was never given any kind of title run. Fans were way into him though, and that's cool.

The Beverly Brothers/The Genius vs. Legion of Doom/Paul Ellering

ER: This is an honest shock to me, as I had NO idea that Paul Ellering worked any taped WWF matches, and no idea The Genius was still working taped matches in 1992. I'm blown away right now. Ellering looks in great shape and is just wearing black trunks and boots, but The Genius is wearing a FULL black body suit with neon yellow GENIUS written multiple times down the leg, and a gigantic superhero G on the front of the suit. He looks like he's wearing LA Park's gear, but with GENIUS instead of bones. I have NEVER seen this version of The Genius. I can barely even focus on the match because The Genius is just standing there in a dayglo bodysuit. But what I am able to see of the match, is obviously super fun. The Beverlys and LOD both get to throw big powerslams, and Mike Enos is a tremendous stooge the entire match. You'd think that with Genius on his team, that Genius would be handling stooge duty, but no! Here's Blake Beverly getting shot into the ropes by Hawk, Blake holding onto the rope to stop his momentum before posing to the fans, and then getting leveled by Hawk. At another point Hawk is chopping Beau in the corner, and Blake charges at Hawk from the apron to break it up, Hawk chops him, and Blake just takes a huge banana peel back bump from the apron to the floor. It looked incredible. Animal is our fun hot tag, sending Beau flying with a backdrop, tossing a nice dropkick at Blake, dropping them both with a DDT, big clothesline, another powerslam, and then LOD uses the Rocket Launcher as their finish!!! Genius gets the Doomsday Device post match, but they win with the Rocket Launcher!!

Tito Santana/Virgil vs. Money Inc.

ER: Dibiase comes out wearing the all white Million Dollar Man suit and he looks downright resplendent. His all white trunks/kneepads/boots look amazing. Tito and Virgil get separate entrances and I'm not sure why that is so funny to me. And Dibiase is a real star in this one. He avoids Virgil, so Virgil has to do a blind tag cheat to get in the ring at the same time as him, and when he is finally forced in with Virgil he works real tough, nice punch combos and a big boot to Virgil's stomach, but is also generous with bumps. He and IRS are great cheaters, cutting Tito off from Virgil, and it's just a great formula. Tito is obviously going to be a great FIP, and Money Inc. are giving leverage assists to each other from the apron, constantly keeping Tito from making the tag. The crowd is hot for Virgil's eventual hot tag but it's kind of flubbed (he throws a couple of off balance lariats and gets a little crossed on the ropes) but the crowd is still into it. The match does not end great but it easily had the strongest build of any match on the tape. I don't think I've seen as much end of career Dibiase and this was a real nice showing for him.

Repo Man vs. Randy Savage

ER: This one is pretty active, even if 90% of the action seems to be axe handles. These two kind of walk around ringside and in the ring exchanging axe handles, and it's not super interesting but it's not bad either. This was World Champ Savage, and babyface Savage always gave up a ton of offense in matches. So here we get Repo controlling things with chokes and a nice flying lariat, nice side suplex, a real look at the Repo Man's offensive game. You knew Macho Man was coming back right in the final 30 seconds, but the elbow he hits is gorgeous.

The Berzerker/Papa Shango vs. The Undertaker/Ultimate Warrior

ER: I really really liked this. It was pretty much just what you would want from this match. It was a fast 8 minutes, which meant that nobody got exposed (anybody know what is considered the best Shango/Kama/Godfather match? I can't recall ever seeing a match with him and thinking "now THAT'S a keeper", but they must exist, right?), and everybody could go go go, and they did. Berzerker/Warrior was a genuinely fun match up, and Warrior busted ass in this, as did Berzerker (I guess I had assumed that would happen though). Berzerker bumped all around for Warrior as if he was Savage or Flair, and Warrior ate a big boot really nicely. I mean Warrior looked pretty bad throughout, and he looked so much smaller than Berzerker that it looked weird that he was shoving Berzerker around. But his energy was there and that's important in a match like this. Shango and Taker were more background characters but the money was in the Warrior/Berzerker showdowns. Another match where you can say with no argument that Berzerker worked harder than anybody else in the ring, really a super generous opponent, took his requisite 3 bumps to the floor. Considering all four of these guys weren't considered "workrate legends" during this time, this match was a blast.


ER: This has easily become one of my more anticipated wrestling traditions, and it helps that we've randomly chosen good tapes. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

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Coliseum Video Thanksgiving: Inside the WWF 1994

ER: My great buddy Josh is over today for Thanksgiving, Rachel is downstairs slaving away on an incredible feast, and Coliseum Videos are just about Josh's favorite kind of wrestling. So as we awaited our magnificent feast (and my god was it so far beyond epic, full Thanksgiving dinner, all prepped by Rachel, completely unreal that she went through this and nailed it. I don't deserve a damn thing), we decided to pop in this fresh crunchy slab of VHS. He liked the sound of the vignettes on this one, so we tossed it into the Video Cassette Recorder instead of wasting our time watching football. And our first visual is of Bret being caught in the locker room wearing nothing but a towel. Inside the WWF indeed.

Crush vs. Undertaker

ER: I cannot think of a wrestler I ever cared less about than Crush. Every single iteration. I can't at all remember getting excited for a Crush appearance, no matter my age. It's possible that I hated his ombre mullet, without being able to formulate those feelings into words or concrete thoughts. But this is actually kinda decent. Crush hits Taker in the jaw with the edge of a chair, and does an awesome press slam spot, pressing Taker several times before slamming him, Taker misses his crossbody in cool almost Dustin Rhodes fashion, and really it was probably as interesting as it was going to be. Not a bad start.

Razor Ramon/Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels/Diesel

ER: What a weird commentary duo on this, Stan Lane and Ted Dibiase. Lane does this weird thing where he literally commentates while doing a Vince impression. He tries to make his voice sound exactly like Vince, and what's weird is that he actually DOES sound like Vince. And the match is fun as they start with Diesel/Jannetty which is really smart, as it builds right away to Razor coming in. Michaels pops in occasionally to cockily get a cheap shot and tag out, so mostly we get Diesel dominating Jannetty, and it's great. Diesel drops him with a huge backbreaker and stretches him over his knee, hits a hard big boot, locks in a tight bearhug that Marty is great at selling (even letting out an anguished "OH GOD" during a tight squeeze), and it's such a surprising layout. On paper you'd expect to see Marty and Shawn work most of this, but Diesel is in there for 90% of the match, and it builds to this gigantic Razor hot tag. The hot tag just flat out explodes Razor hits the awesome 360 punch to knock Diesel off the apron, and we get a cool moment where Jannetty drags himself back in to hit a superkick on Shawn, and Razor absolutely plants him with a like a Rock Bottom chokeslam for the pin. This was cool.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

ER: This is super Tatanka heavy at the beginning, with a bunch of Tatanka offense that only starts by him reversing a Bigelow slam in some way. Like Bam Bam picks hit up in a big slam and eats a DDT. Bam Bam is really great at making Tatanka's offense look good. Tatanka crashes and burns on a big crossbody off the top to allow Bam Bam to take over for the first time. Bammer hits a couple really nice headbutts, with Tatanka selling them really great, like he got socked in the eye. Tatanka rolls to the floor to recover, and "He's been out there since the Eisenhower administration," says Johnny Polo in reference to Tatanka being wrecked on the floor, in a reference that surely seemed dated 25 years ago when this video hit stores. I like Bam Bam a lot here, splatting Tatanka with his butt off a sunset drop, nice powerslam, convincingly jaws with the crowd to give Tatanka his comeback, and damn does he bump HUGE for Tatanka's comeback. He flies so high up into the air for a shoulderblock, like he was a jobber bumping for the Pounce, and he takes this wild bump to the floor on a tomahawk chop, just flying out through the bottom ropes and flying past the apron to the floor really fast. He gets counted out, and then comes in with a pair of scissors to attack to Tatanka, which is an angle I don't remember. Bigelow keeps trying to cut his hair and I don't remember any hair match angles from this era, but Tatanks (accidentally misspelled that but I kinda like Tatanks) gets the scissors and confusedly looks at Bam Bam's smooth dome.......and then grabs Luna's mullet and the crowd goes APE. Earl Hebner runs down and fucking KICKS the scissors out of the hand, and this whole thing took a weird and awesome turn. I dug all of this.

Bret Hart vs. Adam Bomb

ER: There's a white girl with mousey brown hair and braces who flips her lid for Hart's entrance music. Had I known her, that girl would have been my world.  Boy Bryan Clark certainly was a guy who was in professional wrestling for awhile. But a guy like Adam Bomb is a pretty perfect Bret opponent, because all you need is a couple slams and a decent back elbow and Bret would work decently with that. We pepper in a couple cool brief Bret comebacks, like when Bomb goes for a forearm and hits the ringpost. Bomb isn't great, but he's fairly engaging while working the chinlock that leads to Bret's comeback. They zoom in to show Bomb's lizard eye contacts and it hits me that we hadn't got a closeup on those eyes. If I had to put in those uncomfortable fucking contacts and they didn't show me in close up I would be pisssssssssed. Like Sean Astin having to wake up an hour early on the LOTR set to get giant feet glued on, that we would rarely see on film. Hart's comeback is switched up a little: no backbreaker, but still a big Russian leg sweep, misses the elbow off the middle to give a cool tease of a possible Hart loss, overall this was about what you'd expect from a Hart vs. stiff match. But, that's a formula enjoy, a comfortable formula.

Doink vs. Randy Savage

ER: And this is actually pretty great. This is still Matt Borne, who is obviously a really good match up for Savage, and both guys work really hard. Savage takes a few totally unnecessary bumps to the floor, not even doing any moves, just doing planchas to the floor and landing on his feet to show frustration. A lot of this match weirdly happens outside, there's a lot of Savage going after Doink and Doink trying to avoid him, Savage all energy. Borne is great at his character here, and I like that he's hardly laughing like he usually did, just annoying Savage. He misses the Whoopie Cushion which is a tough move to hit and miss, and eats a great Savage lariat to the floor. A second Doink gets involved, crawls under the ring, and sneaks up on Savage and hits a nasty shot right to the back of the his head. Under ring Doink then holds Savage's leg when he spills to the floor, so the original Doink wins by count out. I thought it was a pretty awesome way to do a count out finish and the match structure was really weird, so much time spent outside the ring. Annoyingly, lamely, Savage gets the referee to come back out and check under the ring and gets the match reversed in his favor when they find another Doink. That brought it back more into Coliseum territory.

ER: We get this weird and WONDERFUL 10 second segment with Earthquake, where we just bump into fun, chill, ultra casual Earthquake backstage wearing a windbreaker, who just says "Oh hey guys,   it's your old friend Earthquake, just letting you know that I'm back!" That's weird. I mean it was great, but it's weird right?

Ludvig Borga vs. Razor Ramon

ER: This is really exciting as it's the only Coliseum Video that Borga made it on to, and they make him look really strong against Razor. The early part of the match is all Borga, knocking Razor to the floor, literally just shoving Razor to the floor out of a lock up (great spot), big shoulderblock that knocks Razor on his butt, and we get an actual great knucklelock exchange that has Borga do a long build to Ramon getting powered down to his knees, but fighting back to do a cool knucklelock Northern Lights suplex. Borga gets a lot, some of it good (a nice fast wind up elbow) some of it had its heart in the right place (big flying clothesline). Borga even gets a kind of shocking pinfall, as he hits a lariat off the top and gets an actual 3 count, but Razor's foot was on the ropes. There's a really nice suplex by Razor, bringing Borga in from the apron, great tease around Borga suplexing Ramon to the floor, but both men go down selling once Razor suplexes him in the ring. We get a really weird Finnish (HA!!!!!!) when Michaels runs in and cracks Razor in the head with the belt, and after a long period of both men being down they actually let Borga get the pin. Borga celebrates all around the ring with the title and looks crushed when they take it away, and this was during that weird time when there were two IC title belts so there are just too many belts around the ring and nobody knows what is happening. Those are two weirdly overbooked finishes in a row on this tape. Borga really took 80% of the match and Hall bumped all over for him, totally delivered what I wanted it to.

Shawn Michaels vs. Lex Luger

ER: You know who was great? Lex Luger. That guy was great, loved him during all his 95/96 WCW run, and here he is looking great. Go figure. Michaels is also IC champ in this match (Ramon was IC champ in the prior match, they were doing some thing where Michaels was claiming he never lost the belt) and heel Michaels was unquestionably the best iteration of him. He's a little sluggish on offense here, does a chinlock that drags a bit, but bumps impressively for Luger's big offense run, and Luger looks fantastic in it. Luger's shoulderblocks and lariats were on, hits a great back elbow, nice powerslam, Luger looked like clearly the best babyface in the company here. Sadly Michaels immediately opts to get counted out so he won't lose his title that isn't his, and Luger used the old Narcissist forearm and really smashes Diesel with it. I didn't actually realize Luger used that metal plate forearm once he was All American. Finish to this couldn't have been much lamer, but the words itself was the goods.

Cage Match: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

ER: I know I've seen this match before and really liked it, and my memories were totally correct because this is awesome. Yoko was so damn good and Bret worked snug enough here that he always looked totally plausible as a guy doing damage to Yoko. Bret is smart about this as most of his advantages comes with Yoko missing big offense, like a big elbowdrop and a big legdrop or missing a charge into the cage, and Bret would take over from all of those things with nice uppercuts, with Yoko not being fazed for long. They did a bunch of really smart stuff around cage escapes, good teases, with one amusing one where Hart is almost over the top and gets yanked down by one big Yoko arm. Hart does really great with it, dropping fast onto the top rope dick first and Yoko starts laughing. Yoko is so great here, I mentioned Hart worked snug to make up for the size difference, but Yoko has a bunch of great shots I don't remember him using including just a straight punch right to the throat, also a sick uppercut. And since a lot of the match is built around Yokozuna missing big moves so Bret can work in offense, he also misses things I don't remember him ever doing, like a big splash. For as big as he was I don't remember Yoko ever just doing a standing splash. Yoko really bumps around big for Hart, loved that big flat back banana peel bump, and Hart actually hits the Russian Leg Sweep on him, except he does it exactly like the Zig Zag since Yoko would be impossible to leg sweep. Finish is complicated but it's unique because it's drawn out compared to other similar finishes of the era. Yoko brings in his ancient ceremonial salt bucket because that's a thing, and he and Hart trade using it as a weapon. Once it got brought in I assumed it was a one and done, Yoko hitting Hart and escaping, or Yoko losing and being hit and Hart escaping, but they did some more teasing with that. This match got a lot of time, 20 minutes plus, but they were so clever with how they milked everything. This match ruled.

ER: This tape was killer, one of the best Coliseum releases out there. It bookended a really special Thanksgiving, and I'm still completely full while finishing this. I have stopped typing several times to eat pie. Caramel apple pecan pie. It's impossible. Happy Thanksgiving!

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I'd Rather Shoot a Woman Than A King, I Worry Whether This Is My Last Life

Jerry Lawler v. Kerry Von Erich 12/15/89 - FUN

I always enjoy watching Lawler rile up a Texas crowd. Nobody hates the King more then the folks in Dallas. Lawler does some shitalking on the mike and bailing during Kerry rallies. There were a lot of cool moments in this match, Kerry breaking a Lawler choke with the claw, him lifting Jerry with the stomach claw, Lawler using the elbow pad as a boxing glove. Still the match kind of felt like a backdrop to set up a Kerry v. Terrance Garvin feud which is a ludicrous thing to use a world title match to set up. This should have been the climax to Kerry v. Lawler, and they should have let it be the climax, rather then have it overshadowed . Especially having it overshadowed by Terrance Garvin.

Jerry Lawler v. The Undertaker WWF 9/28/94 - FUN

This was a Casket match which aired as a Coliseum home video release. Lawler gets a ton more offense on the Undertaker then I expected. He does some stooging and stalling (including being blinding by a strobe light from an extra large urn, which is a stupid Undertaker gimmick I did not remember), but for most of the match he takes it right at Undertaker. Cracking him with some nasty chain assisted right hands. There is a really great near fall where Lawler punches and stomps Taker almost all the way into the casket. The King even gets to cut off the Taker comeback, before succumbing. More of a nifty curiosity then a great match, but kind of cool that it exists.

Jerry Lawler/Bill Dundee v. The Cyberpunks 5/18/96 - FUN

Dundee is in the midst of a big feud with the Cyberpunks who are PG13 under masks. He brings out Lawler as his surprise partner. Lawler does an interview saying he isn't turning his back on the fans, but is just collecting belts. They have a fun shortish TV match highlighted by Dundee and Lawler laying in some tricky veteran cheap shots. My favorite was Lawler challenging Fire to a test of strength and then jacking his jaw when Fire raised his hand. The Ice v. Dundee stuff was great too, as they obviously have some great chemistry with each other. Finish is cool as Dundee pops his own son with a chain to get the pin and the USWA tag titles, with Lawler feigning ignorance. I enjoyed watching Lawler subtly heel it up, but too short to be anything substantial.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE KING

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