Coliseum Video Thanksgiving: Smack 'Em Whack 'Em (+ Bonus JAPW!)

As has happened the past few years, my friend Josh came over on Thanksgiving and we played video games and watched a Coliseum Video. I'm not sure we intended this to become a tradition, but whenever Josh comes over he tends to want to either play old NES games, Silent Hill 2, watch a Coliseum Video, or watch old WCW. This time he chose to just wear a Silent Hill 2 long sleeve while watching a Coliseum Video, and this was the one he chose. It's a pretty legendary tape, often regarded as the best in the series due to the selection of Bret Hart matches. I will not spend any sentences beyond this one writing up any of the Bushwhacker segments that happen between every single match of this tape. 

Berzerker vs. Crush 

ER: Oh my god this was GOOD! It was also WEIRD! Because Crush appeared to be completely zonked out of his mind on something, anything. His eyes were really shut and it felt like Berzerker had to keep kicking him his the face a bunch just to keep him awake. Berzerker has to put in a real overdrive performance, Crush taking a beating that only built to his big comeback. I am not trying to paint too negative a portrait of Crush, but there was just something very off and very far away about his mannerisms in this match. Kona Crush was one of my least liked guys in WWF. I hated his look, hated his fluffy frosted mullet, hated his chubby baby fat face. Crush was not a wrestler I looked forward to seeing. But this was arguably the most I have enjoyed him, and we can point directly to Berzerker as the reason. Berzerker put over Crush's strength HUGE, and it was great. They do a couple tests of strength, one ending with Berzerker getting thrown backwards and taking his fast backwards bump over the top to the floor, and then a shoulderblock exchange sees him also quickly whip himself over to the floor. I love that bump. Berzerker comes back in with a big boot and the Crush admirably takes his own bump to the floor, opting to go out through the middle ropes but taking it more like a luchador, which looked weird but cool. 

Berzerker controls things with these great annoying boots to the head, not letting Crush get to his feet, just stalking around him and needling him with these push kicks. He hits a big delayed piledriver, and it's a shame (and also logical) that he didn't break out the piledriver more as he has a nice one. He misses the big kneedrop which gives Crush an opening, and Crush hits a really nice atomic drop and a side slam, before squeezing Berzerker's head until he passed out. I was realllllly hoping for one minor Berzerker comeback during the head squeeze, such as him looking as if he might fight out of it, before eventually succumbing. It did take Crush awhile to finish him with the vice, so perhaps we were supposed to be interpreting that as Berzerker fighting through it, but I would have liked that visually represented better. Still, this match was so good, which is a strong upgrade over every single online review I found. Those reviews collectively described this match as essentially the saddest fart sound in the world. And they were wrong. If anything, this was a joyous, confident, trumpeting fart sound, delivered in front of your friends and family, who would go on to share in your joy. 

Earthquake vs. Repo Man

ER: I was hoping for more Earthquake here, and the crowd is really quiet for a lot of Repo Man's control. Repo tries to use his verbal skills to get the crowd engaged, and I thought it was hilarious when he locked a headlock on Earthquake and said "I got him now!" Gorilla Monsoon calls Earthquake "Mr. Quake". Which would make his first name Earth, I suppose. "Mr. Quake is my father's name. Call me Earth." To be fair to Repo Man, Earthquake doesn't sell his offense very engagingly. He falls down a couple times, but is a little quiet in his emotion. He catches Repo off an attempted top rope axe handle in a bearhug and hits a nice powerslam, nice elbowdrop, does that awesome Earthquake thing where he just steps on and walks over someone's chest, and then brings that big Canadian butt down on Repo's chest. Babyface Earthquake might make more sense against a bigger heel challenger, but Repo Man was not someone the crowd was interested in seeing give Mr. Quake any issues. 

"Cooking for the Single Man"

ER: This is a segment with Yokozuna eating a comical amount of food in a Japanese restaurant. It was not discussing his relationship status, but we were rather seeing just how much food one single, solitary man could eat. Okerlund is there doing kind of running commentary and seeming genuinely amazed by how many buffet size portions of sushi Yoko manages to quickly engulf. They grill up 6 pounds of shrimp, 10 ribeye steaks, just a huge amount of food. Gene keeps bringing up how there is no way they could eat this much food, and Yokozuna just stares directly at the food the whole time. Gene is talking to Yokozuna and asking questions, but Fuji answers all of them while Yoko just stares mesmerized by the grilled shrimp and steaks. It should be noted that Yokozuna used chopsticks to eat this massive amount of food, and he is really great at using them. That is some unexpected dedication. He houses so much food in this clip. It's the most method performance, just a man filming a home video segment on his day off where he gets to eat 25,000 calories without getting up. Gene, Fuji, and Yokozuna were all perfect in their roles. Top end Coliseum segment.  

Ladder Match: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

ER: This is one of the reasons this tape was so popular, a ladder match before the more famous Michaels ladder matches. It's probably my favorite era of Michaels to watch, as he's more of a conniving big bumping heel and still has Sherri singing his theme song and looking like a smokeshow at ringside. He takes nice bumps into the turnbuckles, into the ringpost, and a great shotgun blast bump after Hart leans full body weight into a European uppercut. There's some strong Sherri distraction that leads to Shawn quickly climbing a ladder in ring and come fingertips away from grabbing the belt, and the climbing is a real strength in this match. A lot of ladder match quality really hinges on climbing for me, because as uninteresting as climbing something can be, it's an important aspect of this stipulation. The best ladder matches have climbing that doesn't insult your intelligence. Michaels gets knocked off the ladder and gets a real lucky break when the ladder falls over directly onto him but the ladder bounces off the middle rope before getting to him. That top step would have dropped right onto his teeth. Both guys take nice bumps off the ladder, and Michaels continues flying around for Bret's final stretch run, takes a great teeter totter bump into the ladder, and there's a nasty moment where Hart hooks his leg in the ladder bumping off it. I think it was exactly how to take the bump, but it looked like his knee got snagged in a disgusting way. They really take turns taking painful bumps around the ring, and Bret finally grabs the belt after Michaels lands crotch first into the ropes, hitting the ropes, apron, and floor in three successive great bumps. 

Kamala vs. Bret Hart

ER: This was a real favorite of mine when I rented this tape as a kid. I always loved Kamala and this might have been his best full match during his 90s WWF run. Hart is someone who is just going to be better than most at working around Kamala, and Kamala really tightened things up against Bret. Bret knows how to stick and move and the moments where Kamala catches him are great, hitting big overhand chops and catching Bret right under the chin with a mule kick. Hart does a bunch of great things like stomping on Kamala's bare feet (why wouldn't anyone do that??) and I adore Kamala selling his stomped toes. Kamala really plays up the savage role here, and really does an awesome job working up to Bret's pace. There's a dropdown/leap frog exchange that some wouldn't believe, a great leap from the Ugandan giant, in a match filled with cool cutoff spots from Kamala. Kamala was always catching Bret with a cross chop to the throat or a bearhug, and Hart's comebacks were all so satisfying. Hart hit maybe the finest side Russian legsweep I've ever seen in this match, knowing that he would have to throw it completely on the much larger man. You see Bret working through every single step of the move, and it's so gorgeous. He traps Kamala's arm, hooks his neck, grapevines the leg, then hits it. These two are a wonderful pairing, and I loved how logically and interestingly this match worked through its story, a really strong way to fill an 8 minute match. The Kim Chee botched distraction leading to a high leverage school boy is the most believable way you can beat a monster like this. I love this match. 

Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

ER: This is undeniably a match that could make a Coliseum Video tape infamous. An actual World title changing hands in a match that hadn't been seen before. The tape makes no effort to hide the fact that Hart wins the World title on this tape, as Lord Alfred Hayes reveals 30 seconds into the tape that later on we WILL see Bret Hart win the World Wrestling Federation Championship from Ric Flair, in a match that is available ONLY on this release. And for two guys whose egos will not allow them to acknowledge their in ring chemistry with each other, I think these two were a real natural pair. This is a great match and maybe the best time for these two to have crossed paths. I don't think you can get a better crossing of career axis, just the best time for these two to have their best possible singles match. 

Flair is super expressive throughout the whole long title match, and his yelps and screams really help put over a Bret hammerlock and other surprise Bret offense. Flair is a guy who, at this point in my wrestling viewing, I have seen so much that I no longer get excited for. But I can still get sucked into a strong Flair performance, and this was a strong Flair performance. He doesn't undersell himself by stooging around, and really acts like a guy who knows all the tricks and knows when to apply them. He's really smart at reversing Bret's offense, with the absolute best reversal coming on a sunset flip attempt. He basically  moonwalks with the momentum of the move until he regains his footing and punches downward to break it. Everyone always instinctually sends their weight forward, working against the move, but Flair treats it like a treadmill whose pace you have to match to keep your balance. Now, we do get a spot where Flair gets his full ass shown while Bret yanked his trunks down (and Hart really holds those trunks HIGH) and Flair takes a backdrop bump while still fiddling with his trunks. You would not believe how loud a Saskatoon crowd can get after seeing the toned buns of a man in his mid 40s. Hart's bumps make Flair look like a guy who knows how to utilize his strengths, and he uses two different sick sternum bumps into the turnbuckles to create openings for Flair. 

All of the work around roll ups, backslides, and the leg work to set up figure fours or sharpshooters was always engaging. Flair works a cool "stalking" portion down the back side of the match, dragging Hart around the ring by his arm or leg, holding Bret's arm while shooting a kick right across the jaw, throwing short uppercut punches that are my very favorite Flair punches, and Bret is always smart enough to know to grab a leg for a flash nearfall. All of Flair's offense looks fantastic here, everything looking like it just rocks Bret. It's genuinely impressive to me when Bret is able to shrug off Flair's chops, as they all look like really lightning bolts. We get an awesome moment leading to Bret's triumphant title win, when he takes a HARD chop and looks Flair straight in the eye while calmly removing both of his singles straps to invite one last chop. This whole match is so well worked, the time filled so well, building to a conclusive and deserving title win in Canada. This match deserves its reputation, and is the kind of match that would make an entire Coliseum Video worthwhile. 

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

ER: Ramon has to work a pretty generous match here, as he works the whole thing as if he's a lot smaller than the Undertaker, except he's at worst the same exact size as the Undertaker. Taker is a pretty big lug in this one, and Ramon doesn't seem fully used to being the "smaller big bumping guy" for a guy who is the same size as him. So the ropewalk smash doesn't look great, and Ramon does really well to make some of this offense look effective. But Ramon wasn't fully comfortable in the character at this point (just a few months later he was so much more comfortable in his gimmick and mannerisms), and there wasn't a ton to work with in a zombie Taker performance. There was one long spot where Ramon hits three straight very nice elbowdrops, and Taker just takes them like a real dead fish, not acknowledging that any offense is being done in any way. And that's just not an interesting gimmick or match development for me. 

BONUS THANKSGIVING  JAPW!!!

Homicide/Sandman vs. Da Hit Squad JAPW 2/3/01

PAS: IWTV put up 30+ JAPW shows as a special Thanksgiving treat, so while I am crazy busy today I thought I would add something to Eric's Thanksgiving post. This was in the ECW arena and it was clear that these guys were the spiritual successors to ECW. We get a full Sandman entrance and it is crazy how much taller he is than the doghouse guys, he looks like Robert Fuller. Much of this match is Hit Squad as big bumping heels for the triumphant babyface team. I tend to think of the DHS as guys stiffing rookies and tossing them into walls, but they are also great as stooging guys taking flip bumps and getting stiffed by the Sandman. Apparently Sandman was really into swantons in 2001? Great looking Swanton's too, he hits one with Monsta under the ladder, and one to put Mafia through a table. Finish was nuts with Mack getting lifted for the Cop Killa and Sandman adding a little momentum by shoving his legs, making Mack over rotate a bit so he takes it right on his neck. It's about the nastiest bump I have seen for a move that always ends up nasty. 

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WXW Yokozuna Memorial Show 11/29/01

Full Show

I've never seen this show before, but had seen it in match lists, and it always stood out because of all the guys WWE allowed to work the show. Several big WWE names combined with a ton of early 2000s east coast indy guys I dig, seems like a show that might have some good stuff lurking within. There are somehow 36 guys booked onto this 2 hour show across 11 matches, so we're probably looking at a lot of 5 minute matches, and when we get to the end of this I'll likely find myself saying "Well, that's why nobody had written up that show before". But Roy Lucier threw it on Twitter, and it has a Low Ki match I didn't know existed, so let's roll those dice! (Also Reno is on this show, so dice will certainly roll)


Tommy Suede vs. Supreme Lee Great

ER: These are both guys I remember liking in my tape trading days, and wager that I haven't watched either since those tape trading days. But you know out of the gate it's going to be good because the ring announcer announces Supreme Lee Great as "ranked #498 on the PWI 500". Tell me no more. This match is worked fast, both guys running through their lines quick, but it works. SLG is a really good base, and Suede's strikes hit a lot sharper than I was expecting. Both guys threw themselves into their flying, and really didn't come off that differently than 2019 indy fliers. I mean both of them dressing like they're Matrix coders is going to come off dated in 2019, but their flashy styles could each blend in on a modern super indy card. Suede takes a super high backdrop bump, and both are good at landing on their feet after other backdrop bumps, Suede hits hard elbows, Great gets great height on a top rope elbow, their whole thing has aged surprisingly well. Little Jeanie is out accompanying Great, some woman named Arial is out with Suede, and their interference builds to a crazy moment where Arial hits a 450 off the top to the floor into Great, before Great gets pinned back in the ring by an air raid crash. I have no idea who Arial was, but there weren't too many people I had seen break out a 450 to the floor at that point (Low Ki and Extreme Tiger I know for sure, unsure who else) so it should have been a huge deal, but luckily Metal Maniac is on commentary talking about how hot both the girls are, before making poop jokes.

Afa Jr. vs. Nuisance

ER: Afa Jr. was Manu for a brief bit in WWE several years after this, and it was a run I enjoyed (and have no memory as to why it was so short). Nuisance is someone I have not heard of, but someone I enjoyed here. Make no mistake, this is an Afa Jr. showcase and was always going to be that, and Nuisance is good at setting up Afa to shine. Afa had genuine talent at this point and again, I'm not sure why it took him so long to get to WWE, or why his stay was so short once he was there. Though now that I'm looking it up he is apparently only 17 in this match, so I understand why he wasn't on their radar. But he has impressive agility here; his armdrags look a little light and require Nuisance to fly into them just to make them work, but his bigger spots seem fully formed. Afa comes off the top rope easily and lands sturdy, catches Nuisance with the back of his thigh on a spinning kick, finishes with a big frog splash, and generally works a little more daredevil junior than I was expecting. Nuisance doesn't get much but I liked the way he took offense and fed into Afa.

Danny Inferno/Nardo/Reno/Shane Black vs. Billy Dream/Protege/BADD/The Original Doink

ER: You know this is good because the guy doing commentary clearly doesn't know who at least three of these guys are. It's a mix of mostly WXW trainees and Reno from WCW (billed during his entrance as "Reno WCW"). I don't know who this Doink is, but he's only in for 30 seconds or so. All of the students are good and bad in different ways, but all come off like Power Plant adjacent guys getting a showcase match on a dead era episode of Worldwide. All of the trainees threw fixably bad punches, but in a uniquely bad way that doesn't happen often: Shane Black, Billy Dream, and either BADD or Protege had accurate punches with big wind ups, with an impact that slowed to nothing upon arrival. So they kept looking like they were going to be good punches, but consistent speed from wind up to delivery to follow through is really important, or every one of your punches will look overly pulled. But they're probably better off than guys that punch a foot past their opponent's head. Nardo is in this longer than anyone, and he's green as hell, and named Nardo, but has a lot of energy and makes weird yip sounds while doing literally anything (leapfrogs, armdrags, dropkicks, all with a bunch of high pitch yelps). A lot of these guys try rope running stuff that is beyond their abilities, and get in a little over their heads, but I like guys getting in over their heads in matches like this. Danny Inferno brings some professionalism, the cameras completely miss Reno rolling the dice for the finish, but trainee multiman matches are always some degree of fun.

The Tonga Kid/The Hungarian Barbarian vs. The Twin Tackles (Gene Snitsky/Robb Harper)

ER: The Hungarian Barbarian looks like 911, so basically he looks like a much bigger Al Hrabosky, which is a cool way for a wrestler to look. He's raw as hell, but that means he's still early enough in his career that he's throwing big dropkicks on the floor but trying to flip and land the same way you would if you threw them in the ring. Twin Tackles are a super green Gene Snitsky (picture him without all of the ring polish you remember from his WWE days) and another guy with lumpy caveman steroid head with odd stringy patches of long hair attached. Robb Harper is wearing football jersey 69, and Snitsky is wearing 67. I would love to know how that conversation went down, and I am curious why Snitsky went ahead and chose a number so close to 69. Hungarian Barbarian had a little of that Rocky Mountain Thunder energy, but this is definitely all built to Tonga Kid's big hot tag (the match was only a couple minutes long, so there wasn't enough time for things to cool down) and 2001 Tonga Kid still dropped a fantastic Samoan drop. He was so young during his WWF run that it's crazy to think he was only 36 here. Feels like a guy who should have shown up on more Japan and US indies for a decade plus after WWF.

The Island Boys (Ekmo/Kimo) vs. Cory K/Malaki

ER: Cory K's valet looks like Aida Turturro, Malaki is working an Amish gimmick, and The Island Boys looks ridiculously ready for prime time, and they elevate this to a real nice big man slugfest. Malaki and Cory K are Afa trainees who are willing to bump around for the Island Boys, Cory taking a big bump over the top to the floor and Malaki going down hard in the ring from strikes. Island Boys moved aggressively, bumping big and hitting hard. Kimo takes a huge bump over the top to the floor off a missed avalanche, and flies just as hard off the top for a rib crushing splash. Ekmo (Umaga) already comes off like a guy with major star potential, just moving with huge confidence. I don't remember them looking this fully formed and exciting when they got called up as 3 Minute Warning, my memory is telling me they were underwhelming compared to what I had seen on HWA tapes. This quick fun brawl made me want to go revisit 3 Minute Warning and look for gems.

Big Dawg Molsonn vs. Eric Cobian

ER: Here are two more large Afa trainees working a green big guys match, and it's not great, but they're stupid and they try some things. Big Dawg looks like if Dr. Death were a sloppy gamer, Cobian moves like and has a similar build to Erik Watts. All of their criss cross rope running stuff looks terrible, but Cobian hits a crazy plancha into the entrance aisle with one foot on the top rope and the other on the ringpost, the camera cuts away to the crowd during what was shaping up to big a Big Dawg overhead belly to belly suplex that I really wanted to see, and Big Dawg finishes the match with a shaky legs moonsault off the top that sloppily lands him knees first into Cobian's balls. So it was about as great as could be expected.

Billy Kidman vs. Low Ki

ER: This was the main match that drew my eyes to this card, a dream match of the era from two guys whose paths wouldn't have otherwise likely crossed. I guess Ki *was* doing frequent syndicated program job work for WWF around the time Kidman came over, so this was basically the best possible version of these two getting a match on Jakked. They would have gotten 3-4 minutes on Jakked, here they get 7, and both make the most of their time by breaking out all their tricks. Kidman was so damn exciting around this time, as he had put on a little size since his earliest WCW days but was still bumping as fast as his WCW cruiser days. So he was hitting harder than he ever had, while still moving around with a death wish. It was literally the perfect time for him to match up with Low Ki. Ki is one of the crazier bumpers in wrestling history, taking some that most guys just wouldn't be capable of taking, but here's Kidman showing that he can outbump Ki. Kidman takes crazy bumps like a guy trying to get noticed by WWF, not like a guy already on WWF PPV with a belt. And so you had two big bumpers, and you had Kidman working as stiff as Low Ki. It's glorious. Ki would be kicking Kidman's chest in, Kidman would throw tight close elbows and a couple of lariats that really looked beheading. Every strike from both guy looked really sunk in, and I loved how they worked the match as equals. Kidman came off like a big confident star and Ki looked like a guy who was outpacing a big confident star. I was just giddy through this little gem, watching Kidman take a big German suplex or Ki fly super hard into a rydeen bomb, it's a total crowd pleaser.

PAS: This was fun, this was right when Ki was at his early peak, a couple of months after the Red classic and right around the Dragon matches. This was pretty formula Ki, but 2001 formula Ki is pretty great. Eric is a little more nostalgic for 2001 WWE than me, as I don't have a ton of love for Kidman. He was fun in this though, as he didn't seem to be working total formula. He did take a huge bump to the floor, and was clearly excited returning to the fed he was trained in. I could have done without the chinlock and the stuff with the heel manager, but I also love a Ki match I haven't seen before.

Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Knoble

ER: This was a super common match up during this era. They constantly matched up down the WCW home stretch, constantly matched up in HWA, these are two guys who have a match and are good at that match. Knoble is a nice No Guilt Benoit, locking in cravats and throwing hard back elbows to get out of go behinds, pressing in on side headlocks, high backdrop bump, quick suplexes, and even cooler stuff like a nifty over shoulder backbreaker. Moore works this like Psicosis, all big bumps and daredevil flying. Moore hits a gorgeous tope con giro to the floor and a corkscrew moonsault into the ring (Knoble makes sure to get flattened by both) but also goes down with a shot for big Knoble moves and even misses a flipping bump off the turnbuckles nearly exactly like Psicosis. They really had an impressive way of working super fast go behinds and managed to do several quick "reversal of a reversal" spots without making it look like untethered dancing, actually throwing in that sense of struggle with their quick reversals. This was only 5 minutes, and they cut to the finish too quickly after Moore took a massive superplex, but it also kind of made sense as Knoble's bump off the superplex looked just as bad. This was like an even faster version of their match, and these two psychos felt like they worked better the faster they went.

Homicide vs. Skinhead Ivan

ER: The way they came out of the gates I knew we were getting a quick match, really felt like they were sprinting through a few things, but even expecting a quick match you want this to be more than two minutes. No idea why they felt they were running long, but we knew from the beginning they had way too many guys spread across way too many matches, but it's ridiculous that out of all the matches to get cut this short, it's two of the guys who actually look fully trained. Homicide and Ivan could have worked an excellent Worldwide 5 minute sprint, what's 3 extra minutes? No, we get a 2 minute match with Ivan taking a couple nice bumps, both working some super fast counters (they felt like they were rushing to the finish right at the bell), big top rope cutter from Homicide, and a nasty cop killa to end it. Homicide looked pissed after the match, rolling immediately out of the ring and not slapping hands with any of the youth who wanted hand slapping.

Kane/Undertaker vs. The Acolytes

ER: You know, this wasn't great, or maybe even good, but I just kept thinking how exciting it must have been for the kids in attendance. This was during WWE's huge boom, and these kids are getting to see Undertaker on the smallest show he worked that year. Seeing some guys in an intimate setting while they're at their recognizable peak is a special thing. Nobody went hard in this match, which would have been fine, if Kane didn't look as bad or worse than literally any of the Afa trainees on this show. There was genuinely no difference between the greenest trainee on the card (Big Dawg Molsonn?) and Kane in this match. Not only was Kane working noticeably slower and lighter than everyone else in the match, but he got crossed up on every single spot he was involved in. If someone had told you "This was Kane's first match" you would have responded "Yes that statement checks out". There was one sequence, with Bradshaw merely trying to get Kane out of the corner with an Irish whip, where Kane looked worse than anyone on the show. He couldn't figure out where he needed to be, and I was still laughing about it when he hit a clothesline on Bradshaw that was essentially Kane falling towards Bradshaw with his arm out. But the fans were flipping out for Undertaker, and that's really all that matters.

The Headshrinkers (Rikishi/Samu) vs. Da Hit Squad

ER: Well this is one of the bigger tragedies in wrestling history. Who would have ever thought these two awesome teams would cross paths? Do you know how easy it would have been for these two teams to just slam into each other for 8 minutes? The match goes 1 minute. There's a Samoan drop, and 30 seconds of the 60 is spent on Rikishi setting up the stink face. This is the worst case scenario for a match that sounds great on paper.


Men who got more ring time than Mack, Mafia, and Homicide on this show: Nardo, Big Dawg Molsonn, Shane Black, and a whollllle lot more guys who are not close to as good as Homicide or Da Hit Squad. Well, that's why nobody had written up that show before. BUT. Ki/Kidman and Moore/Knoble slayed, and those were two of the three matches that brought me here. A tremendous waste of time overall, but those two matches would easily make a perm tape.

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Low-Ki Advent Calendar Night 4: Fat Frank's Suicidal Games

54. Team Doghouse (Low-Ki/Homicide/Da Hit Squad vs. Team Pazuzu (Chris Dickinson/Jaka/Team EYFBO) JAPW 4/30/16

PAS: This was a War Games style match without a cage and a fans bring the weapons stip (more ECW style weapons like stop signs and ironing boards, then the kind of CZW style barbed wire and glass basement hooker torture devices.) It had the kind of chaotic fun that the best ECW fights had, lots of fun charismatic, talented guys, grabbing everything they can to try to brain each other. Really impressed with Mike Draztik from EYFBO here, he bled the most, took some nutso bumps and hit a crazy tope. Dickinson and Ki had a match in 2015 which I loved, and they had some awesome interactions here, I really wish this was a touring indy matchup. There was some really fun bumps by everyone, Dickinson was delivering cool old school piledrivers, Mack gets blockbustered through an ironing board.

Finish was a little goofy, Mack does a very 80s wrestling "you accidentally hit me, so I am going to turn on you" thing where he pushes Ki off the top rope (Mack turned on Ki on the 2015 show, although they didn't acknowledge it, which is kind of like Terry Taylor joining the York Foundation on every WCW Syndie, he turned on Dustin like three times.) Then instead of that causing Ki to be pinned, Ki ducks the clothesline from Compton and they have a stare off, Joker comes from the back and hits a nasty running knee on Mack, and Mack does a great open eye KO sell, the ref calls the match and awards it to Pazuzu. The knee was awesome, but the whole thing was super confusing, Mack felt like the heel initially, but then came off sympathetic because he was sucker punched and KO'ed, Pazuzu also felt Shelton holed, disappearing completely to set up the big important angle, after how much they killed themselves, they deserved more.

ER: This is 8 guys I really like in an unhinged brawl, so the odds are high I was going to like this one.  This is worked like a WarGames without the cage, with Dickinson and Homicide starting, and one new entrant every couple minutes. Dickinson was awesome throughout the whole match, you want someone working with intensity if they gotta be in there for 30 minutes and Dickinson always brings intensity. Jaka is in next and I love Doom Patrol stuff, the dudes mesh really well together and they were my favorites in this. They were both the glue here and always bring out clever offense in brawls (Jaka had some awesome throws, big capture belly to belly, headbutts, kicks with his heels, Dickinson dropped a huge piledriver, huge running kick at ringside to a seated Homicide, threw sharp chops and was super active the entire match) but they also know how to work through everyone and eat offense to let other team shine, Dickinson especially just eating all of Ki's strikes when Ki came out as the final man. I was also super impressed with EYFBO, especially Draztik. Draztik was a real ham (in good ways), bled way more than anyone, and both EYFBO guys basically got beat around by Hit Squad the whole time, and all built to them hitting a pair of dives down the stretch. The dives were nuts as security was trying to hold the guardrails with their backs to the action, and the dives were coming right at them, would have been real easy for security to get rolled up on. We get fun moments like Mack giving Jaka a cannonball while holding Ortiz on his back, later Mack takes a bump through an ironing board. In fact the true MVP of this match was the camera crew and whomever edited this match together. We jumped around perfectly to all the action happening at ringside and in the ring, never felt like we missed anything, never felt like the cuts were jumping from one to the next too quick, just excellently timed bursts of violence. It helped the chaotic feel of the whole brawl, really seemed to find the best action currently happening. Now the finish sucked a lot of wind out of this, took way too long to set up, and required everybody in the match not directly involved in the finish to just disappear. And it wasn't worth it. Mack turns on Ki for an errant dropkick moments earlier, then stands in the ring forever to set up his big clothesline, which eventually misses. The Joker stuff looked fine but felt so dumb coming as the end of a 30 minute match. Suddenly 75% of the guys in the match are selling damage and not working for the first time all match, and it just ground everything to a halt. The KO knee from Joker looked good, Mack sold it great, but it came off like a super flat and confusing way to end what had been such a wild fun match.


2016 MOTY MASTER LIST

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Matches from JAPW Redemption: 2/24/18

The Hooligans (Devin & Mason Cutter) vs. The Private Party (Isiah Kassidy/Marq Quen)

ER: I like the Hooligans, squat chubby guys who will take a couple big reckless bumps, set up junior offense nicely, have a couple nice high spots of their own, and have a great throwback wrestling hillbilly look. I'd never seen the Private Party, and came away wanting to see more Kassidy. He's an Amazing Red trainee and had several Red-like moments of stringing together some unexpected and beautiful offense. Hooligans have some thump and can work like Nise Necro Butcher (even dropping Quen over the back of a couple chairs at one point), loved their hip attack/cannonball combo, loved the assisted standing "corkscrew" moonsault, they're good at catching dives (and Kassidy and Quen each had a couple big dives, with Kassidy hitting a wicked tornillo that could have fallen short, and later hitting a cool plancha running up the turnbuckles and shifting directions to land on Mason). Private Party had a few killer moments that Eric Corvis (gotta call out Corvis by name, as Phil was the big drum beater for him) on commentary called "Rewind Moves" that feel like something they both worked out with someone like Red. Not just simple reversals, more like getting hiptossed into your partner, and your partner flipping your momentum back the other way leading to a cool headscissors or kick. There were lots of neat "momentum reversing" moves, a cool Electric Boogaloo way of delivering your offense that's more than welcome in a tag like this. 8 minute tag, plenty of fun spots, basically exactly what I was hoping for when I went out of my way to check it out.

Da Hit Squad vs. Team Tremendous (Bill Carr/Dan Barry)

ER: This started out mildly joke-y and I was considering just going forward to the main event, but I'm glad I didn't because this turned out to be a total blast. Team Tremendous is a team I'd pretty much written off; never did much for me in their Evolve run (though while I hated the stupid 70s cops gimmick, I do gotta say Carr looks cooler as Big Bubba), and they don't always turn up in places that I frequent. But I cam away especially impressed with Barry, naturally when they say that he's going to be retiring soon. He's been around the indies for years, and this was the best I've personally seen him look. He's chubbed out a bit, and he really controls this match (which is crazy considering the guys across the ring from him). He was hitting DHS hard with chops, busts Maff's nose, throws a jab with great snap, nice vertical suplex on a big fat guy, nice running forearm, all good stuff. Then starts breaking out highflying that lands on point, hits a nice tope on Mack, hits a wild Fosbury Flop running moonsault to DHS on the floor, lands a great moonsault back in the ring. It's odd not seeing DHS as the aggressors in a match, I always expect them to steamroll dudes, but I liked Tremendous controlling a lot of this, made Hit Squad's big stuff seem even bigger. Mack hits a great fat guy dive, and even a rana (leaping off the middle rope onto Barry), and Barry deserves tons of credit for catching that dive, catching that rana, and taking a brutal double cannonball from DHS. The visual of Hit Squad doing the piggyback double cannonball is always so great, feels like a double team move you'd do in the old Simpsons arcade game. Barry himself even does a big man flip dive! There was no overkill, everybody got their moments, Barry was a freaking workhorse, and the match ends simply after Barry eats a Burning Hammer. Just the match I needed.

Homicide vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. BLK Jeez vs. Teddy Hart

PAS:  Really a tale of two different matches. We open with Cide, Xavier and Jeez in the ring and the commentators saying Hart no showed, there is some really stinko juniors wrestling to start, with Xavier looking especially terrible. Then Hart comes from the back and we get a classic psychotic Hart vs. Cide JAPW arena brawl. Eye gouging, fish hooking, awkward chairshots to weird parts of the body, everything you want from those two lunatics try to kill each other. At one point Homicide places Hart's foot in between a chair and smashes it with some fans backpack, Hart pries open Homicide's jaw with his hands and punches his square in the open jaw. Xavier and Jeez take some bumps too, Xavier gets hurled into the bleachers back first, Homicide takes Jeez's head and cracks against the wall like he was trying to open a coconut. All of this is going on while Julius Smokes (who is managing Jeez now) is running around whipping Hart and Xavier with his belt while his pants are falling down exposing his bare ass. It goes back to ring we get another terrible looking juniors run between Xavier and Jeez, while Cide and Hart are fighting on the floor. Hard to rate this, because the brawling was fucking amazing, and the wrestling parts were mostly awful. On a pure enjoyment scale though, this was pretty high.

ER: What a confounding match. Genuinely terrible at times, genuinely exhilarating at times. Homicide is possibly the best wrestler who also has a bunch of bad performances. He's so hot and cold. Within this match he's out of place and completely in his element. Xavier and Jeez looked bad. This was the worst I've seen Xavier look, even though he got better down the stretch and I've liked other stuff I seen from him, and he still took some big (maybe too athletic) bumps here. I don't know if I've ever seen Jeez before, and I do not want to see him again. He looked bad in almost every part he was in, other then hitting a springboard stomp right into the lower abdomen of Xavier. Every other part he looked awful, with some truly putrid strikes throughout, strikes that fell short or looked slow and soft if they did land, he was constantly out of place for stuff, looked like he had never taken juniors offense before. My god he looked bad. Julius Smokes was fucking insane. I love Park matches and old Pierroth matches where there are long belt whipping sessions. And here's Smokes running around with his belt and his towel, whipping everyone who wasn't Jeez, and showing his bare fucking ass the entire time. Julius Smokes shows more ass in this match than Mathilda May in Life Force. His belt was a NECESSARY accessory to his outfit, and he sacrificed it just to get in some whippings. All while showing so much ass. 

But Teddy Hart was that flat out savior of this match. He comes out dressed in something a wrestler would wear to a Pajama Jam, and proceeds to inject all the chaos into this match, and punches everybody as hard as he can in the forehead. All of his strikes look so damn great in this match, stiff body blows and rough shots to the face, and he makes every move he takes look painful as hell, even if it's not. He gets hit with a bunch of nasty chairshots, shit to the back of his hands and his fucking ankles, gets his leg and ankle and foot slammed in between a chair, Homicide weakly shoves a clothing rack or something at Hart and Hart makes it look like he got hit by a Yugo and got his fingers slammed in a door. He continued throwing nothing but great strikes, it made me really want to see more matches between Hart and other guys who can throw hands. This match started with the crappiest slop juniors exchange you've seen, reached stiff vaguely unprofessional brawl in the middle, and then ended with slightly less offensive but sorta stupid flipping piledriver juniors wrestling. It somehow worked both as sleeze fed pain pill crowd brawl, and a parody of Japanese jerk off juniors learned behavior east coast early 2000s indy debris.

ER: Well, while I didn't love every part of the stuff I watched, JAPW delivered goods that still felt like JAPW, and that's really all that I wanted. They've been one of my favorite feds since the tape trading days, and they still bring that sloppy, stiff, wrestling for wrestling fans vibe, which is the reason we'll continue to seek out new JAPW and review old JAPW. The Teddy Hart match had too much good shit to not include it on our 2018 Ongoing MOTY List, so we threw it on down towards the bottom. Teddy Hart, gunslinger, y'all.

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2017 Ongoing MOTY List: Hit Squad v. H8 Club

23. Da Hit Squad (Mafia/Monsta Mack) v. The H8 Club (Nick Gage/Nate Hatred) Beyond Wrestling 10/28

PAS: This was a 2000s Jersey dirtbag indy dream match that never happened, and it was as uncouth and violent as you would have hoped for. Potatoes being tossed out left and right, unprotected chair shots, slaps right in the mouth, just a pleasure to watch. I always thought Hatred was kind of big goof, which is still sort of true, but he took a beating and looked the part of a Golem Nick Gage drew from clay. Gage is amazing, he has an unhinged aura, like a modern Bruiser Brody if Brody was the stabber rather then the stabbie, he is also at his prime as a wrestler. He was great here, taking insane bumps (he flies over the top of the rinngpost to the floor, gets presslammed head first into a wall) and dishing out big receipts. We even got a cool bit of selling, Monsta and Gage are exchanging big tooth loosening foreamrs and Gage just collapses like he was in concussion protocol, this allowed Monsta to stand over a dazed and glassy eyed King and talk spicy, it also led to a great finish as Monsta got too confident and got caught with a piledriver. Rare dream match which totally delivered.

ER: Yeah this delivered everything you'd want from four bald and burly thugs punching mouths for 14 minutes. This was a wild brawl that never settled into a traditional tag-in match structure, but still benefitted from some traditional tag saves...but nobody wants traditional tag wrestling from this match, we wanted meaty shots to cheekbones and edges of chairs hitting ulna bones and huge men hitting concrete in awful ways. I was impressed with everybody here, even Hatred, who as Phil correctly points out has always been a big goof. His lummox tendencies played nicely off of Gage, who works like the Energizer bunny with a rap sheet. I love Gage's selling in this so much as it's much closer to Eddie Kingston, with a big great theatrical moment (him trading forearms and then just falling over before a sure deathblow from a running Mack could land) and other moments of him not staying down for long, but holding at aches and pains while being hit. He moves quick and lands hard, takes an insane bump over the ringpost on a backdrop, gets thrown full bore through some doors to the outside (which was a truly great visual in the match, as the building was dark and outside was bright, so you get Gage crashing violently from blackness into bright light and disappearing, as if he broke the space time continuum. You could almost hear Gage saying "Oh my god, it's full of stars!" Maff and Mack somehow haven't lost a step, Mafia especially is shockingly agile this many years on. I flipped out for his tope but he had several other moments of quickness, like that fast low spear off the ropes (actually the best spear I've seen hit in wrestling this year). I really loved this, as it brought plenty of crazy spots, plenty of mean shots, plenty of stiff arm lariats, a crazy caffeinated (or other) performance from Gage, really great brawl.


2017 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2016 Ongoing MOTY List: Ki/Cide (and Joker) v. Da Hit Squad in a Cage!

4. Low-Ki/Homicide/Joker v. Da Hit Squad JAPW 11/12

PAS: Wild bloody brawl with the Boricua Four Horsemen trying to murder each other. The match starts with Cide (in old school Natural Born Killaz jumpsuit) and Ki (in his Hitman suit) coming out and getting jumped in the aisle by the Hit Squad. We have a bit of really great crowd brawling, including Homicide busting open Maff with Harley Race style knuckle punches (the camera really focused on Maff and Cide, but in the corner of your eye you could see Ki and Mack brutalizing each other, I really wish I had the alternate view as well). Homicide takes a big bump into the stairs and stays down, while Hit Squad throws Ki into the cage and double teams him. Joker comes out from the back and takes Cide's place in the cage match (not sure if this was an improv, or a planned spot to work around a previous injury). The in the cage parts of the match were really great too, with Ki taking a huge thrown belly to belly bump into the side of the cage and doing some crazy Kung Fu avoidance spots. Finish of this was nutso Maff spears Joker through the cage door nearly killing them both, Cide runs back out to start brawling with Kyle the Beast and they bump the cage causing Ki to crotch himself on the top. Then Maff climbs back into the cage and DHS hits a double splash off the top rope smushing Ki like a wine grape. Best match I have seen these two teams have, and a total under the radar MOTY candidate.

ER: Fully agree with Phil, this is the best match with this combination of guys. This was a full on violence spectacle, and it was glorious. The way it was going, this would have easily made list if they had never made it into the cage, as we get some inspired ringside brawling. Ki immediately gets plastered hard into the barricade, Maff gets busted up, Mack takes a nice running shot into the ringpost, Homicide gets tossed into the barricade, it's all great (and yes, an alternate view would be great in any Low-Ki multiman). Mack tosses Ki into the side of the cage, but since he's basically Spider-Man he just grabs the side of the cage and scrambles up to the top in about 2 seconds. Sometimes Ki moves so freakishly that he feels like an alien in a sci-fi movie trying to blend in with humans. Eventually a detective figures it out, and there's always that scene where they go "There he is! Grab him!" And that's when Low-Ki the alien just leaps up the side of a building leaving all the authorities looking like idiots. After wrestling Low-Ki just needs to start getting motion capture movie gigs that Andy Serkis doesn't have time to do. Ki gets into the cage (again, impossibly quick), but Homicide gets laid out with a nasty bump into the stairs, and DHS get in the ring and corner Ki. But then Ki breaks out some insane moves, including sliding over Maff's back like Luke Duke sliding over the hood of the General Lee (Maff not *quite* the size of the General) to deliver a sliding kick to Mack. The announcers scream that it's like a freaking action movie, and they're not wrong. Joker runs in, and he and Ki have a contest to see who can take nastier in ring bumps, with Ki getting lawn darted into the cage, Joker taking a flipping backpack cannonball into the buckles (!), Ki getting belly to belly suplexed upside down grossly into the cage...and then Joker officially winning their contest by get speared to his certain death out the cage door. Spot of the year? It's up there. The whole thing is chaos. Ki gets crotched on the top of the cage, Mack ends up perched dangerously on the top, Maff climbs over impressively fast, and the double splash from those two is a certain finisher. Crazy, great match from four indy legends.


2016 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2015 Ongoing Match of the Year List

25. Da Hit Squad v. Low-Ki/Homicide Beyond Wrestling 12/27

PAS: Tom and I drove way too long to watch this matchup live back in 2001 (Road Report Here), and it is a trip that this is still so good 15 years later. The 2001 match had DHS working as stooging heels, and this was closer to the potato fest we were hoping for a decade and a half ago. Ki and Monsta especially unload on each other, including some very heavy Jerry Blackwellish forearms by Mack. Ki continues his awesome 2015 where he had an almost Volk Hanish schedule, show up 5 or 6 times and have all of them be awesome, he works really hard here including getting thrown into the fourth row. I am not sure if Maff and Homicide have been in a ring together since the weird Maff blackballing, but they had some nice exchanges. Kind of a BS finish with Pinkie Sanchez running out and then getting smashed by all four, who do kind of a Puerto Rican clique salute in the middle of the ring. Would have like to see this have a proper finish, but as an exhibition of classic JAPW it was pretty great. RIP Fat Frank.

ER: Now these are 4 guys I like, and they all match up nicely. I also like the vibe of the building with fans right up next to the apron. I do not like Rob Naylor on commentary. But mute buttons exist and it somehow makes the shots being dished out look even more stiff. Low-Ki has been kind of under my radar the last several years, whether he was working promotions I don't much care about, or just plain not working much, but damn if he isn't just as good as he was when I first saw him. Feels like I potentially have several years of really fun Ki matches that I may have missed. DHS really feel like guys who still shouldn't be this much fun. Normally heavyset guys don't age well over a 15 year period, but Maff looks to be in shape and both have no problems leaning into all sorts of strikes, and Ki and Homicide have no problem dishing strikes. A lot of this is nice and sloppy, but I don't want precision when I watch Hit Squad matches, I want sloppy brawls and stiff shots thrown at unsafe parts of the face and body. DHS always throw really great shoulderblocks and body work, but they did little things that surprised me like when Maff pulls out a single leg on Ki, drops a bunch of elbows and then grabs a body vice. Ki is great throughout at sticking and moving, and while some of DHS double teams are a little rusty the stiff shots by everybody more than made up for it. Run-In Finish stinks as things looked to be moving into an insane peak, with DHS lawn darting Ki into an empty swimming pool and Homicide hitting an insanely fast flip dive through the ropes. So crummy finish aside, how could you not have fun watching these guys crash into each other?


2015 MOTY MASTER LIST

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Segunda Caida Classic: Phil and Tomk's JAPW Road Report

Beyond ran a rematch of this tag 14 years later, so I drug out this old school road report

ALLIGATOR JERKY! works stiffer then the HIT SQUAD! LAITHON! hits a RANA! MAFIA! is the meanest Puerto Rican JOHN TATUM! ever! SCHNEIDER! meets the cops of NEW JERSEY! and more stuff from the longest road trip ever. 

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Jersey All Pro Wrestling (10/13/01)
PAS: Phil Schneider
TKG: Tom K

BACKSTORY
TKG: I meet Phil outside of subway station. When I get out of subway, I am met by college kids giving out free cans of tuna fish as part of some sort of promotional campaign. They shove the can into my hand. I meet Phil and throw the can away. And we’re off to Hackettstown.
PAS: I borrow the good Doctor’s car, and go swoop up Tom. I was up till about 4 a.m. DJing and disposing of a clinging college girl, so I was a bit fatigued, thus explaining the embankment.
TKG: Phil drives and eventually we get out of DC.
PAS: And drives, and drives and drives.
TKG: We talk and joke for a while. Phil nearly drives us up an embankment and we keep on going.
TKG: Note: driving up an embankment is a good way to get the car behind you to stop tailgating. He kept far far away from us after that.
PAS: Also almost driving up an embankment is a good way to wake your self up. The adrenaline rush was like doing a packet of mini-thins.
TKG: We drive some more miss an exit and end up driving past all the old ECW house show towns. We’re in a part of the map that’s covered with pictures of Skiers. The fall foliage and the mountains are pretty beautiful.
PAS: The exit was very unmarked and we end up driving into the Pocanos. I wanted to go stop and see a ventriloquist and meet a rich homely Jewish girl and fall in love, but we decide to go to the show instead.
TKG: At one point, I panic as the signs tell me we are near Scranton.
TKG: We decide to stop at worlds largest General Store which I think I saw on an episode of Road Rules or something.
PAS: I actually drove past this, and then hit a U-turn, figuring a visit would add some color. It in fact added quite a bit of color to my stomach.
TKG: The funnel cake is preposterously expensive. I try to find out if there is any wrestling at the Pumpkin Festival. I decide that if we can’t get to see JAPW I want to at minimum get to see Todd Morton vs. The Stro.
PAS: It seems to me that Julio Deniro would be working a pumpkin festival somewhere, although not this one.
TKG: Alligator Jerky~! The can of tuna would have been a far better choice.
PAS: Alligator Jerky has a very spicy initial taste, which is an attempt to mask the overall fishy flavor. That attempt is a failure.
TKG: This trip never ends.
PAS: No, no it doesn't
TKG: I am a passenger. And I ride and I ride and I ride. I watch the bright and hollow sky. You know it looks so good tonight.
TKG: Shockingly we make it to Hackettstown skating rink before bell time. Even more shockingly the show starts on time. An indy that actually starts at advertised time!!!!
PAS: No 10 minute intermission which goes 45, and no Crowbar gimmick table either.
TKG: Audience of about 60 people. Lots of young kids who are showing off their abilities to curse. Easily worst wrestling crowd I’ve been to a show with as they go for all the “smart” chants including “Your mic skills suck”, “RVD!”, waving dollar bills at the valet who is young enough to be even MY daughter ( we left show quickly before any paternity could be proved) and going to try to get Crowbars autograph while the main event was taking place.
PAS: Jersey fucking sucks, what a bunch of smarmy little pricks. I had to move my chair because I was about to pound some obese teenager, who spent the entire opening claiming he could wrestle better then Reil and Jobber, when it seemed unlikely he could even climb the ringsteps without puking on his shoes.
TKG: My favorite chant of night to a guy wearing tights that looked like Electro-Shock “NOVA RIP-OFF! NOVA RIP-OFF!” Nothing is as unintentionally funny as calling someone a Nova ripoff.
PAS: Someone also claimed that during Dixie’s, air raid crush variation. It might have been Donnie B.
TKG: Also preposterously low ceiling.
PAS: Which didn’t stop anyone from doing highspots, ahh the hubris of youth.

THE SHOW

TKG: The Hit Squad, their manager Johnny D, Dixie and Dixie’s valet Valentina come out for a promo. Monsta does pretty good comedy mic work while Mafia does the serious mic work. Johnny D mugs around the ring like your best friend’s really embarrassing uncle… which is a good thing. Dixie doesn't look old enough to shave. The same can be said of Valentina.
PAS: I really liked the Hit Squads mic work, although they were working against the role which they play the best. Hit Squad are scary motherfuckers, and making fun of the crowd - especially the way they worked the main event - plays against the type. It is nice to see diversity, but they should be working like twin Vaders not like the Heavenly Bodies.

Billy Reil vs. JT Jobber:

TKG: Reil tells ring announcer that he no longer wants to be introduced as Billy “Highlight” Reil. From now on he is to be known as Billy “Kiss My Ass” Reil.
TKG: JT Jobber works a Mickey Whipwreck circa 95 gimmick and is not good. Reil heels it up for most of the match and looks great. Reil does fun theatrical selling bumping twice in ring and then falling to floor for Jobber’s crappy tornado DDT.
PAS: I was really impressed by Reil. Jobber was pretty poor, but Reil did a very good job of making him look credible and passable. Great brainbuster - the best I have ever seen live. Plus a neat dive from one ringpost to the other end.

Skinhead Ivan vs. Judas Young vs. Chino Martinez

TKG: It’s a three way dance with elimination rules. I can’t identify Young’s entrance music and that pisses me off. Martinez is the face in this match and it’s a mess. No one punches well.
PAS: This match really sucked, I kind of liked Young last time I saw him, but he wasn’t good here. Chino had ridiculous pants, and was really green. Ivan seemed to be able to hit his spots crisply, but had some of the worst punches I have ever seen (which is a real business exposer for a guy with a skinhead gimmick) kind of like a crappy indy nazi Saturn.
TKG: Ivan might have some understanding of how to work a match and I would kind of like to see what Homicide was able to do with him. But so not good.

Insane Dragon vs. Dave Greco:

TKG: The match starts with a quick mirror sequence that ends with both guys even and a round of applause. I HATE THIS SPOT! DAMN YOU MALENKO/GUERRERO!!!!
TKG: Despite my hate of said spot Greco manages to keep up with the superfast Dragon which is pretty impressive. Greco works a nice sequence out of a knuckle lock. In general Greco looks a little too deliberate in ring like he is trying to give an instructional on how to put on octopus hold. I dig Greco and he tries to reel some of the match in. He isn’t quite successful but it’s a noble effort.
PAS: I thought Greco seemed pretty slow, especially compared to Insane Dragon. This match had some really nice stuff and some very poor stuff. Insane Dragon is really flashy, although flashy doesn't really do it for me so much in 2001.
TKG: Insane Dragon sells well and when he hits his highspots they look really impressive.
PAS: The finish was Insane Dragon trying a springboard 450 and landing ass first on Greco’s chest, which may have fractured his ribs. This was Matratsian.
TKG: Post match Dixie comes in to beat down Insane Dragon. Dixie does a air raid crush onto his knee which is the nastiest move I’ve seen live (next to THE OKLAHOMA ROLL). It’s an awesome move that someone should steal.
PAS: I imagine NOVA will invent it soon. Dixie’s match wasn’t very good, but his run-ins were great.

Laithon vs. Magic:

TKG: If you always wondered why the Zambouie Express never broke up to run the Elijah Akeem vs. Kareem Muhamed feud, this here is the answer.
TKG: Laithon is a tall and awkward but so so not Taue. He is better than Big John Studd in his prime. He tries a hurricanrana which looks really bad and amusing.
PAS: The hurricanrana was great, in a completely ill-advised way. Laithons chops were stiff. Magic hit a ludicrous dropkick.
TKG: Magic is Tony Starks dad. He left Starks' mom at a young age and is now trying to reconcile with his son by incorporating the Wu Tang pantheon/philosophy/orientation into his indy wrestling. It seems like a legit effort to reach out but is still sad and pathetic. It reminded me of that movie where the Allan Thick plays a dad who tries to study up on opera so he has something to talk about with his son who he kicked out of his house four years earlier for coming out. When the father tries to discuss opera, his son (Danny Pintauro) doesn't see the love that his father has put into this effort and angrily rejects him, “I may be queer, but I’m not a QUEEN!”. Stark has come to one or two shows but still won’t talk to his estranged father. It’s a touching story but it doesn't make for compelling wrestling.

Deranged vs. Ghost Shadow:

TKG: Deranged is not the Deranged from IWA-MS King of the Deathmatch. I am disappointed but in actuality this is a huge improvement.
PAS: I felt like I was going to hit the KOTD Deranged signature spot after eating the Alligator jerky.
TKG: Deranged works the crazy guy gimmick that has him giving himself a bunch of back bumps because he's crazy (like Crowbar). Axl Rotten would be disgusted.
TKG: They do several joshi spots which you don’t tend to see in US indy jrs matches. Ghost Shadow does a Kyoko Inoue style pendulum swing. The set up for this is really cool as it looks like hes going for a lucha submission and then pulls it into the pendulum swing. He swings Deranged against bottom turnbuckle which is cooler in concept than it looks in reality. Deranged does a series of Ito like double footstomps. I dig the joshi.
PAS: This was a basic trained together indy highspot match. Ghost Shadow did very little memorable, but Deranged has some very nice jawdropper spots, including ending the previously mentioned double stomp sequence with a standing shooting star press while starting on the guys chest. They also had a loony Shannon Moore/ Willowish roll up combo which looked really neat.

Dixie vs. Exploited Child:

TKG: Exploited Child I think maybe doing a huffing gimmick. He seems to laugh a lot and has that “Big sale on butane at Home Depot” look in his eyes. He does a bunch of comedy stuff.
PAS: Exploited Child was the least of the JAPW teen division. I think the guy who exploited him was the guy who took his money for training.
TKG: On the DVDVR 900, I’d put Exploited Child right underneath XPW’s Pogo.
TKG: Dixie sells really well and is able to make this into a match. He is the Matt to Dragon’s Jeff.
PAS: Match was not so good, although Dixie looked like a keeper.

Crowbar vs. Kid Kruel:

TKG: I never understood why Storm would keep his shitty Russo name after he left WCW, but he is way over with the kiddies.
PAS: The crowd was into this the most, cause Crowbar used to be on TV.
TKG: Kruel has a body that Meltz would like and looks to be a little old to be calling himself Kid.
PAS: Crowbar however seems to have replaced his polish with Polish Sausages.
TKG: I expect Crowbar to not take any bumps in this match but he takes a bunch including 4 suplexes. Phil decides to start counting types of suplexes.
PAS: Kid Kruel broke out four types of suplexes, including a high end side suplex. While Crowbar had a Northern lights and a German. If this was the 70’s Idol would be going apeshit.
TKG: There is this odd Battlarts section where Storm reverses a fujwara armbar into a lucha roll up and Kruel reverses something into a rolling knee bar.
PAS: A fitting tribute to the erstwhile worked shoot promotion on the day of its demise.
TKG: Crowbar hits a dvd on Kruel which Kruel pops right back up from. Crowbar then hits the finisher.
PAS: Damn you Kobashi

Low-Ki/ Homicide vs. Mafia/Monsta Mack:

TKG: This is the match we came to see. Half the crowd clears out to find Crowbar to get his autograph. The Hackettstown show was clearly a houseshow and so while we came expecting a preposterously stiff stiff match what we got was a really really fun house show match. It was stiff as hell but not what we expected at all.
PAS: Yeah I was figuring this was going to be stiffer then Hash vs. Corino, but instead it was a basic southern tag stuff. Which was well done and all, but not what I wanted to see from these four. This was kind of like the Tajiri vs. Minoru Tanaka match in Bat-Bat where they did all of that lucha, or those Lucha six man with Blue Panther on one side and El Dandy on the other, that don’t go to the mat and just get worked as brawls.
TKG: The Hit Squad come out and act like scared heels, which is somewhat tough to buy given that they look pretty legit. They go through all the Zbyzsco motions including walking to the back and then they work a southern tag match. With Low-Ki/Homicide as the stiffest Rock n Roll Express vs. the Hit Squad as the stiffest most willing to bump Jack Victory/John Tatum.
PAS: It strains credulity for the Hit Squad to do a chickenshit heel act, considering their size and demeanor. They did it well however.
TKG: Mafia works most of the match and does all kinds of goofy amusing John Tatum-esque selling. He hides in the ropes, crosses himself before taking a bump and makes me laugh. He takes most of the beatings as Low-Ki/Homicide do the stiff face kick double-teams (so much nastier than a double drop kick).
PAS: Low-Ki did most of the work in this match as well, as he was face in peril, which he did fine, but again Low-Ki as Ricky Morton is not the Low-Ki I drove 6 hours to see.
TKG: Monsta mostly comes in for offense, which is a weird reversal of the mic work at beginning of show where Monsta was all comedy and Mafia was all intensity.
TKG: They worked the face double teams early in the match
as opposed to saving the double drop kick for the end. This was a good variation as it told a different story than the cliché and built up well towards both Homicide’s “house a fire offense” and Low Ki’s finisher.
TKG: Homicide/Low-Ki can’t beat the Hit Squad with your traditional southern flash pin (double drop kick quick pin). The Hit Squad won’t allow for that. Double-teaming is used to weaken. But the Hit Squad can’t be beat by double-teaming. They are a team and the only way to beat them is to isolate one member one-on-one while keeping the other away. Of course this leaves the face one on one against the member of Hit Squad. This story makes all of the face teams non-double team offense seem far more important.
TKG: Ref Hanson does a good job of getting shoved around by both teams and never quite seeing what he shouldn’t see.
TKG: Low Ki works Ricky Morton and takes a great high back drop that legit puts him through a ceiling tile. Low-Ki goes for the hope offense before making the hot tag to Homicide. Low Ki is able to knock down both members of the Hit Squad independently in the hope offense section before the hot tag and I think this lessened the heat for Homicide coming in House-a-fire.
PAS: I am with the house of fire criticism, and it was the only artistic flaw in this match. They did a nice counter spot with Homicide breaking up a Mafia attempted burning hammer by putting him in the STF. Cool spot which did not get the reaction it deserved from the dogshit apathetic crowd. Fuck Hackettstown
TKG: There is a table spot post match and Low-Ki gets on the mic setting up the rematch for the belts.

EPILOGUE

PAS: Rat report card
Girl in the red shirt: B-
She had the chubby delinquent look down, and was continually absent during the show to go smoke, both of which are rat pluses. But she refused to blow Laithon to get to the back, which violates the rat code, no ass no backstage pass darling
Missy Hyatts aunt: A+ :
She had the 45 year old rough stripper look down pat. I expected Vince to put her on a Divas poster. Looks like she may have ratted for Unpredictable Johnny Rodz at one point
Loud Mouth Fat Kid C+:
Went to go get Magic's autograph during main event. Did not offer him head though. Did have appropriately large bosoms.
TKG: We leave Hackettstown and we drive and we drive. The jerky does its damage as we both realize that alligator jerky is not digestable. Our bodies continuously try to reject the jerky. The car odor becomes un-breathable.
PAS: Usually I like the smell of my own gas, but the Alligator jerky did bad bad things.
TKG: We try to find an open gas station, which is an adventure in and of itself.
PAS: New Jersey police are the nicest police in the world.
TKG: The partially digested fishy taste in my mouth becomes so bad that I decide to eat a Roy Rogers bacon cheeseburger to attempt to cover it.
PAS: While I spent much time ruminating over the evening in a Turnpike rest stop bathroom.
TKG: The trip home takes forever but at least we don’t get lost or drive into an embankment.
PAS: I believe I got into bed at 5:30 a.m.
TKG: I am the passenger and I ride and I ride I stay under glass. I look through the windows so bright I see the stars come out tonight. Fuck it I felt far less Iggy and more like Dave Dudley at this point. Unfortunately I can’t find any little white pills to keep my eyes open wide but we were going to make it home tonight.
TKG: Phil starts to hallucinate at one point. Unfortunately, I don’t. I take a big breath of the foul alligator jerky scented air hoping that I can join Phil on his “trip” but still nothing.
TKG: We get back to DC pretty delirious from the experience.
PAS: You got to love the wrestling.

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Saturday Night Digging In The Crates

This week we take a trip to an Armory in scenic New Jersey and watch Puerto Ricans beat the bricks off of each other



Da Hit Squad v. The Shaolin Wrecking Crew JAPW 6/7/02

PAS: I used to love watching DHS beat the ever loving crap out of little dudes, the one thing better might be watching them beat the ever loving crap out of giant dudes. This was basically like a Moondogs v. Moondogs match. Suba is a giant fat dudes and he takes a bunch of suplexes right on his ball park frank looking neck, and gets the leftover chili dog juice slapped out of his mouth by an especially nasty Monsta Mack. Might be a bit one sided, but a total blast.

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JAPW 13th Anniversary Night One 12/10/10

JAPW put on two pretty big shows back to back in December, and the DVD's are out. JAPW anniversary shows tend to be good shit, so I have been looking forward to these

Devon Moore v. Jon Moxley

This kind of workrate undercard match isn't going to be the best showcase for Moxley, although I enjoyed him here. I really like the way he takes in ring bumps, very expressive, great pained facial expression. He also can be a real Ginoish sneering bastard on offense. Even in New Jersey I can't really see Devon Moore as a face so he seems like a weird opponent. Moore has some athletic offense, but the way he carries himself really makes impressive things look less impressive. I did love the bump he took on the second rope chicken wing faceplant, although I question Moxley breaking out a super version of his finisher on an opening match like this.

Nick Gage v. Rhyno

Terrible match, Rhyno was fully in cash the check mode, as this was all slow motion side headlock reversals and chinlocks. They blatantly kill some time until the Brodie Lee run in, Lee accidentally kicks Gage which sets up a sub Kelly Kelly spear by Rhyno. If this was a crazy brawl I imagine Gage would have bumped enough to make it semi entertaining, but as far as technical stuff Nick Gage is to Jack Briscoe as Nick Gage is to D.B. Cooper.

Joe Hardway v. Corvis Fear

I like Corvis Fear a bunch, he has some cool looking offense and works stiff, but Hardway is all entrance and they seemed to be on different pages a bunch in this match. I do enjoy the joie de vivre which Johnny D brings to his strip club manager gimmick, I just wish the South SIde Playaz Clube were better wrestlers.

LuFisto v. Kalamity

Surprisingly entertaining womens match, a real potato fest with both ladies cracking each other really hard in mouth and head with kicks and elbows. There was a pretty nasty exchange where both ladies are sitting on the mat kicking each other hard in the teeth. Kalamity who I have never heard of before has some really nice looking offense, including a great spinebuster. About as violent as one might imagine a drunken Comic Con fight between a horse faced girl in an anime costume and a portly goth chick would be.

Necro Butcher v. Eddie Kingston

I like both of these wrestlers a lot, I have really liked this matchup a bunch in the past, and for the most part I liked this. It did fall short of what I was hoping for though. I think part of it might have been card placement, they followed the women's match which was pull of face punching which is going to be a big part of what these guys do, and that dampened the heat a bit. When these guys are at their best they create this frantic intensity, it feels ragged and crazy and even when it isn't currently exploding it feels like it is going to explode. It was just missing here, I felt like I was watching these guys work their touring match, instead of some lunatic fist fight between a fat drunk Puerto Rican and some homeless psychopath. There was some cool shit here though, both guys take sick bumps on chairs, Necro has some of the most violent eye rakes in wrestling history and I love a match which ends on a KO punch. It is a thumbs up for sure, I just wanted more.

Brodie Lee v. Pinkie Sanchez

20 second squash leading to a pull apart with Rhyno. Pull apart sucked Rhyno was just a huge failure, I can't imagine how sucky the title match is going to be.

United States Death Machine v. Da Hit Squad

Wild JAPW tag brawls are one of my favorite things in wrestling. This was one of the lesser versions of that, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it. I didn't hate Dickinson in this as much as I normally do, I kind of enjoyed his Jersey shit talking, and both of his big spots, were big fucking spots. He does a leaping kick from the top of the bleachers down to the middle on Monsta Mack, and takes a burning hammer through a wooden door. Callihan is great in this setting as he is such a rabid dog, that he is always in someones face slapping them or spitting on them. DHS were fun too, Monsta takes a bunch of big bumps for a fat guy, and Maff has a similar kind of frothing anger to Callihan. THe match had some problems, it went too long as downtime really hurts matches like this, and this had some moments where nothing was happening, when it needs to feel like a riot the whole time. Also they clearly built the wall throw (which was an old DHS spot from Bayonne) as a huge moment. In Bayonne they could dart someone from the ring headfirst into a wall, this is a much bigger place and the spot just doesn't look good as a regular press slam throw into a wall. Still the finish was a finish and I wouldn't mind seeing this feud run back.

Jushin Liger v. Bandido Jr. v. Kenny Omega v. Azreal v. El Generico v. B-Boy

For folks that hadn't heard about this card before, that isn't a typo. Outside of the pure weirdness of Liger working rope running exchanges with Bandido Jr., this was pretty average. The BOLH matches in the past have been crazy spotfests, but this didn't have those kind of workers. I thought Omega's three cool spots were hit well, and Liger running in an shotaying everyone was a bunch of fun, but the elimination part of the match didn't have a ton else to it. I actually really liked the final Azreal v. Liger showdown. Liger is historically great at putting over random dudes and he leaned into all of Azreals stuff and made him look like a killer, before crushing him with a top rope brainbuster. Post match Liger was the best as he is so fucking amped to win the JAPW LIght Heavyweight Title, he was on his knees hugging the belt like Rocky at the end of Rocky 2.

A bit of a disappointing show, the on paper great stuff was just good, and some stuff was bad. I am hoping for more from night 2.

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