WWF King of the Ring 1993

Since we're a day away from potentially getting a new forever king, I thought it would be fun to revisit a legendary monarchy based show. I haven't watched this show in at least 25 years, whenever it was that I rented it from New Release Video in Healdsburg. It's a really strong on paper kayfabe show. You look at the 8 guys who made the KOTR quarterfinals, and the choices are all strong and reflective of who was big at the time. Mr. Hughes is the one hindsight question mark, because looking back there are plenty of people who don't even remember his 4 month WWF run. But his inclusion made sense from a kayfabe perspective, as he had aligned himself with Giant Gonzalez and wrecked the Undertaker on TV. He felt like a big new threat, and stood out as physically imposing during a time there were some really large guys on the roster. 1993 Duggan feels past his expiration, but hardly anyone was getting as big a reactions as Duggan was getting in the first half of 1993. The non-tournament matches are just as logical, with Crush/Michaels the logical and anticipated title match stemming from their great double count out KOTR Qualifier, a tag scramble highlighting the top two heel and face teams, plus the big Yokozuna/Hogan rematch (that would have felt like a MUCH bigger deal had Hogan done more than what, ONE taped interview in the months between Mania and KOTR). On paper this is a real strong show, presenting all of the most popular guys in favorable pairings, and a show I remember really enjoying as a kid. Let's see how it holds up!


Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

ER: This was a great match, starting off this PPV better than any match on WrestleMania IX. Razor looks incredibly cool with his green gear, toothpick in mouth and one behind the ear, trying to be as unflappable as possible as the fans all chant 1-2-3. It's really impressive how quickly they got Kid over, and how smartly they played it. This stuff isn't difficult, but watching a simple angle like this over 25 years later - and seeing how they just don't have any kind of patience for this sort of thing now - it's even easier to appreciate. Kid beats him, then Razor demands a rematch while they barely even have Kid on TV for the next month, letting the crowd interest build for him and really building a strong underdog common man. At a certain point they just decided the most creative way to debut someone was to have them win a title on their first night in and then just kind of do nothing with them.

But anyway, the great match. Hart's shoulderblocks weren't effective to start, so he started playing a quickness game with Razor with some armdrags, and does some of that great Bret stuff like taking a bodyslam put not letting go of Razor's arm. Razor takes over with an eyepoke and sends Bret flying HARD into the ringpost, then acts like a real dick about it. He slaps Bret around the head, stomping on BOTH of his hands while Hart is trying to get up (love that), hits the fallaway slam, big running powerslam (that I don't really remember Razor doing), and my favorite thing Razor does all match is miss elbowdrops. Razor missed FOUR elbowdrops, and each miss looked great. The first miss was a big leaping elbow into an empty pool, and the three later in the match was total Elmer Fudd missing every shot he took at Bugs, dropping three in a row as Hart kept rolling out of the way. Every miss looked real painful. He wasn't just taking back bumps, he looked like he was really jamming his elbow right into the mat. The crowd was way into the match at this point, and were flipping out more with every missed elbow, getting really loud as Hart made his comeback with a backbreaker and Russian leg sweep (does anyone besides Bret and Brad Armstrong have a good Russian leg sweep? Who am I forgetting?). The match transitioned back and forth really well, both great at coming up with plausible ways to take over instead of just "my turn". Hart takes the sternum bump into the corner but flips through a Razor's Edge, fights for a backslide, and there is an insanely close 3 count on a Hart small package. Waaaaay too close and the crowd was losing their minds at this point (as was I). Now, the finish itself was only kind of a ding because it came immediately after that small package, and felt a little too similar. Razor was going for a suplex off the top and Hart fell on top of him for the 3. It felt like they needed one other thing in between Hart's surprise small package and him falling on Razor for a 3. I'm not sure what that is, but the near fall was such a huge moment that the fans really hadn't come down, and the very next thing ended the match. Does that make sense? Even so, the match ruled.


Mr. Hughes vs. Mr. Perfect

ER: Mr. Hughes is wearing his pork pie hat and braces and looks like the most powerful ska trombonist in history. This is not only a battle of who advances in the King of the Ring, but a battle over who retains the title of "Mr.". This is also the first and last we see of  Mr. Hughes on WWF PPV, and maybe the last time he ever turned up on PPV anywhere, which is really weird, because look at him! This match was a super fun match up, with Perfect pushing a pace meaning we get fast Hughes, and both guys bump big for each other. Hughes working speed spots with Perfect is too good, as this also had to be the biggest Hughes got. He's really quick, takes a wild armdrag that crashes him into the ropes, flies into a hiptoss, and takes a huge backdrop. Perfect obviously tries to outbump him, flying over the top to the floor off a punch, and then taking super painful looking bumps off Irish whips. Hughes looked like he was really chucking him into the ropes and buckles, and if he wasn't, Perfect was certainly making Hughes look like Andre. Perfect and Hart were both good at making a whip into the buckle look like something that should get a nearfall, that PANK sound of a buckle that they're able to make before crumpling to the mat. This could have been something special, but that's not really what this match was. Hughes grabs the stolen urn and clocks Perfect with it for the DQ. It was directly in front of the ref, and they could have milked a really good match out of a long heat segment on Perfect after the urn shot, but this was a blast while it lasted.


Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Jim Duggan

ER: Duggan had the sickest hair during this era: The perfect Johnny Ramone shag. This was the longest his hair ever got, and he had those perfect bangs. With his American flag singlet and kneepads, waving Old Glory, he looked like he should have been doing the best Freedom Rock commercials. I'm picturing him with that hair doing a rad boogie rock guitar solo, just choogling and making the dumbest guitar solo faces. JR and Macho Man say a bunch of platitudes about how Duggan isn't a quitter, and Heenan hilariously butts in "That's not what I heard. I heard this guy is a big quitter. He used to be known as the town wimp." There's value in knowing your limitations, and they work a nice 5 minute match within those limitations. Hacksaw Ramone is so damn over in 1993, far more than I remember, and he throws great big right hands to back Bigelow up. They run into each other, Bam Bam grabs him in a couple of bearhugs, Duggan fights out, simple but effective big man stuff. Bigelow sets up Duggan by missing a falling headbutt, and Duggan takes a really nice headfirst bump into the turnbuckle after missing a corner charge. The Bigelow headbutt off the top is a nice clean finish to a nice tidy match.


Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

ER: Love the smirk Luger wears on his face during his entire entrance, and I love how he jumps Tatanka the second Tatanka is through the ropes. And this match is the very definition of feast or famine, because we get a lot of Tatanka holding an armbar and Luger holding a chinlock, and the crowd is very silent during those portions. BUT, and this is an important but, the ultra hot sections where everyone is bumping and Luger is pistoning his arm up out of pinfalls at the very last possible second, those all came off great. This is overall a great match that happens to be burdened by a long armbar sequence and a shrug of a time limit draw. The time limit draw is a real dry hump in pro wrestling watching. It has its good sides, because Bam Bam Bigelow automatically goes to the finals, and I get why you don't want to have a big fat guy wrestling three times in the same night, and I think I am fine with a Bye due to time limit draw if it gets a cool fat guy heel into the finals. And it helps that Lex Luger makes Tatanka look like an absolute star here, taking hard back bumps on tomahawk chops and crossbody blocks, and a nice high backdrop bump. When Tatanka starts getting 2 counts on top rope chops and a tight schoolboy, Luger has such expert timing and I'm not sure I've seen very many high quality kickouts than the ones Luger provides here. Luger sets up Tatanka so well and is such a great bumping heel. The time limit draw is a bummer, but with a good end result. And I think Luger salvages it by grabbing the mic and DEMANDING 5 more minutes, because he came here to WIN the King of the Ring and he isn't going to let a time limit draw stop him from that. And after handing the microphone back to Finkel, he lays out Tatanka with a hard clothesline and puts the boots to him while laughing about it. I wish we got a finish, and Luger was working hard enough to deserve a good finish, but I get why they couldn't beat Luger. But a Luger DQ for using the metal plated elbow, leading to a DQ win for Tatanka, and a Bigelow/Tatanka semi final....that would have been a real great addition to an already good PPV.


Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

ER: This is one of those consensus great matches, the kind of match with very few contrarian opinions. It's loved and respected by Meltzer types, 90s kids, and middle aged message board tape trader snobs. It has an easy claim as a top 5 WWF match of the 90s, the kind of match that gets cited as someone's favorite all time match. It wouldn't be controversial to call it Curt Hennig's greatest WWF performance, nor would it be to call it Bret's greatest. It's a legitimately great match and I don't think there's a misstep in the entire match. They keep an incredible pace and have the timing locked down on everything. The opening few minutes was these two showing how easily they could have instantly adapted to any style in the world. Picturing Hart working these same headlock takeover and dropdown exchanges with Negro Casas or Tatsumi Fujinami, and it's watching matches like these makes me realize just how much I love Bret Hart. It might not be a cool pick, but he's high up my personal list of best wrestlers. He and Perfect craft something special, an argument for WWF style, the best example of an extension from the Savage/Steamboat workrate. It's a nearly 20 minute match but there's no fat. The bumping is honest and tough from both men. Perfect wasn't a showoff, but instead landed hard on a backdrop, sold a knee injury through a long home stretch, fit his great ass over crown ropes bump in at the best time, and ate a huge superplex for a great nearfall. 

Hart was a perfect dancer partner for Perfect, and vice versa. Perfect got flung over by the neck a few times, and Hart plastered him with an uppercut. Jim Ross sounded downright flush and beside himself when Hart hit that uppercut. Hart moves through his offense well and blends it naturally into their movement. A great backbreaker drops Perfect, and Perfect does a twinkle toes Rick Rude sell on atomic drop, allowing Hart to get the Russian legsweep as Perfect duck walked. Hart made Perfect look like a killer, flying ridiculously hard chest first into the turnbuckle, and Perfect knocks Hart off the apron to send Hart flying really painfully into ringside gear and the guardrail. It was a painful bump that built the possibility of a count out win. When Perfect comes up limping, that's when Hart takes the chance to go after his leg, and they move around each other really instinctively. The fans sounded ready for a Perfect win as they got very excited (maybe it was a nervous buzz?) when Perfect locked on an excellent sleeper hold, dragging Hart to the mat like Bill Dundee. Both men were getting great reactions, and it was one of those matches where they got almost immediately into the pocket and knew exactly what kind of match to work. The finish was really great, with Perfect luring Bret into a small package by feinting the knee injury, and it's a great enough move that you buy the finish. But Bret reverses it and holds on for just a fraction of a second longer than Perfect was able to. Great match, a flagship match from the biggest wrestling promotion in history. It deserves the praise it gets. 

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

ER: It never gets talked about because it came directly after the excellent Hart/Perfect match, and because the uncool view of Hogan nostalgia, but just as Hart and Perfect had arguably their greatest WWF performance tonight, you could easily make a case for this being Yokozuna's greatest performance. And really, this is a great Hogan performance too. Outside of the absolutely silly and completely ridiculous finish. That finish is something that any tween with observation skills would have seen coming, just because of the comical costume and fake beard they decided to put Harvey Wippleman as the rogue photog. I can still remember my friend Dave - who saw the PPV - trying to relate exactly what happened to everyone at school the next day. "Before the match started they were showing a bunch of cameramen at ringside, and the camera lingered too long on this one guy..."

So we get a silly finish that closes the door on Hulk Hogan in WWF for nearly a decade, but even with that finish I'm not sure there are better 90s Hogan matches than this one. Shoot, even the silly finish included a fireball, so even when compared to other silly finishes it's still far better. Yokozuna turned in a tremendous brick wall performance, allowing short openings for Hogan only by missing moves (a charge into the corner, a missed big splash) but Hogan immediately gets shut down any time he tries to take fight to Yokozuna. He lands punches, then always goes for a bodyslam that ends in him getting smacked to the mat. I love the simplicity of it, with Hogan getting sliiiiightly further each time, so that when he manages to get Yoko on one leg it feels like a big deal. The crowd gets loud whenever Hogan starts to fire back, sensing his win, and cheer on as he gets some mounted corner punches and even bites Yoko's forehead. I loved Hogan fighting out of a strong bearhug by punching Yoko a dozen times in the head, crowd chanting along, but being unable to do more because of his back. 

Yokozuna just throws Hogan around, with the best moment coming off a fantastic belly to belly suplex. Yoko really flattens him and the crowd seems actually stunned by his kickout, but into the Hulking. He hits several big boots (a little weak looking, but Hogan appeared to be moving pretty gingerly throughout), and Yoko is great at selling them, great at selling the clotheslines without getting knocked over, and they spend enough time on Hogan trying to knock him down any way he can that by the time Yokozuna finally timberrrrs over it's a huge moment, leading to immediate genuine shock when he kicks out of the legdrop. Then we get the rogue cameraman, the fireball, and a big fat awesome Yoko legdrop to finish it. The postmatch destruction is the best, as Yoko drags Hogan's corpse around and hits the Banzai drop, and they do my absolute favorite thing by showing a bunch of super sad small children in the crowd. The best is that dweeb front row center dressed entirely like Hogan, looking like an outright maroon as he has to sit there and watch another man he chose to dress as get annihilated. Imagine that guy the rest of the show, walking sullenly to the bathroom, trudging to the parking lot, being approached by the dozenth person asking "What happened?"

I really do think this is the strongest WWF Hogan match of the 90s, and I'm not certain there are any WCW matches better. Had Hogan treated Vader with the level of awe he had here against Yokozuna, those matches could have been classics. Hogan wasn't as interested in letting someone play brick wall in WCW, he was far too insecure at that point. Yoko was allowed to have a monster performance, and he delivered arguably his greatest single match performance here. The timing was excellent, the build throughout was exactly what it should have been, and again, even the silly finish had a fireball to the face. This match gets roundly dumped on and I don't actually understand why. Yokozuna looked like an unstoppable killer, and looked cool doing it. The match long Hogan comeback teases were worked exactly as the should have been, and I honestly don't think they could have had a better match here. 

The Steiner Bros./The Smoking Gunns vs. Money Inc./The Headshrinkers

ER: This was too rushed which is a real shame, as I was really into what match we got. It gets over 6 minutes, but a match at minimum needs at least one minute per participant to be of much value. And it's clear from what they did in these 6 minutes that they had plenty of material to fill 15. Now, it's not a shock on a big show like this that some things probably ran long so some things may have been cut for time during this match. What we get really does smoke. Dibiase does some quick armdrags with Scott Steiner, and I am reminded that Dibiase is the same age here as I am now, and within a few months Dibiase would be retired from wrestling due to injuries. As I type this, back sore from last night's yoga, I am once again reminded of my mortality. There's a great early spot where Dibiase eats a Steinerline over the top to the floor, bumps around on the floor, gets back in the ring and immediately eats another Steinerline to the floor and bumps around again. Dibiase/Scott Steiner is such a fun pairing, and it is really weird that this match just isn't Steiners vs. Money Inc. for the belts. Bart Gunn gets separated from the pack and I like all of the ways Money Inc. and the Headshrinkers cut him off from the others, like a cool double backdrop and IRS leaping off the top rope with a punch. Bart gets a convincing sunset flip and makes a hot tag to Billy, and Billy comes in blazing with nice clotheslines. 

There is some absolutely hysterical commentary, as throughout this match Jim Ross is - as he'll do - running through every participant's college credentials, including a claim that Billy Gunn went to college on a rodeo scholarship. Finally Heenan blurts out "Do you know anyone who didn't go to school!?" I had to pause it I was laughing so hard. Dibiase hits an awesome hot shot on Gunn and then actually makes Gunn collapse with the million dollar dream. The finish is pretty lame, as Dibiase just lets Gunn collapse, brags to the crowd, and then gets small packaged. I have a lot of questions, don't know why they didn't just put the belts on the Steiners, don't know why they (presumably) cut a bunch of the match out, but I really liked what match we did get. 

Crush vs. Shawn Michaels

ER: This wasn't as great as their KOTR Qualifying sprint, was a little more bloated and had a finish that made Crush look like a doofus again, but it was more proof that the two of them have great chemistry. I'm going to have to watch the Demolition/Rockers tags and their Coliseum Video singles match to really see what they might have accomplished. They didn't have a ton of house show singles or tags, but there are a handful so maybe one is out there. Crush really comes off powerful and charismatic, and it's kind of wild that they kept him getting clowned why Doink for so long because the crowd responds to him so well. It helps when Michaels bounces all over the ring and ringside for him. Crush works sequences speed for speed with Michaels while still coming off heavy, trading leapfrogs and dropdowns while also brickwalling him with shoulderblocks. 

There's a great spot where Crush swings for the fences on a missed clothesline and his momentum makes him skid forward a bit too far, giving Michaels enough time to compose himself first and pop him with a jab. That jab gets him his ass kicked though, as Crush hits a couple big dropkicks to knock Michaels over the top to the floor, and obviously a clothesline on the floor because Michaels is going to bump to the floor. Michaels also takes a big muscled up backdrop bump and we get a cool press slam spot with Crush pressing him three times before tossing him onto the ropes! Michaels basically gets no offense until Diesel gets involved, but then he beats the back of Crush's head into the ringpost like 8 times, and the shots really looked like he was trying to crack open Crush's skull. It was a great way for a small guy to erase the size difference, and Crush sold it really well. Michaels' control segment goes a bit long, but maybe we paid for that with all of those Crush armdrags and leapfrog spots earlier. His comeback is good but I really wish we got a different finish than Two Doinks coming out to distract him AGAIN. The finish itself is strong, with Michaels hitting the superkick to the softened up back of Crush's head (a cool variation he never used) but Crush had to stand there staring at clowns for a lonnnng time. 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Bret Hart

ER: On paper, this was the match I was most looking forward to on this show, but I thought it underwhelmed in certain ways and was the weakest of the three Bret matches. I shouldn't complain about such a fun Bigelow showcase - he's a guy I'm happy to see in main events - and this is maybe the most dominant main event of his career. It is very one sided for a long portion of the match, and Hart also comes into the match with a pronounced limp. So the fans get quiet for a lot of it and aren't nearly as loud for Bret's comeback as I expected them to be. The match went 18, but felt more like 24, and the fans in attendance added to that fatigue. Hart really gives a ton of time to Bam Bam, and adds to his own overall very impressive total ring time for the night. The Hart/Razor match was arguably the best match of Razor's WWE run, a top 5 contender at worst. The Hart/Perfect match is a strong contender for best WWE match of the 90s. This match is well regarded but overly long, unable to grab the fans in the same way the prior Hart matches had. 

But this doesn't mean the match isn't plenty fun, and an important match in keeping the opinion of fat guys high against the early internet "Fat Guys Are Bad" rhetoric. Bigelow works a long match and keeps up an agile pace, working methodically over Hart while also hitting more high leaping headbutts than I've ever seen him hit. Every time he took to the air I expected the empty pool landing, except he kept crushing Bret with every. single. one. He gets an incredible false finish with a top rope headbutt, a false finish that I had honestly completely forgotten about, so it played as shockingly as the one in the Juvy/Jericho mask vs. title match for me. Bigelow's work leading up to that pin makes his performance come off like one of the most dominant main events of that era. Hart was limping, and he cannot get anything at all going against Bigelow. BBB hits some of the gnarliest backdrop suplexes I've seen, lifting Hart up soooo high before cutting the elevator cable. Hart came in limping but the match became a compelling methodical back work match. It felt much more like a big WWF late 70s/early 80s main event than a 1993 main event, and that helps the match appeal. Hart gets whipped hard into the buckles several times, getting to show off his all time great corner bump, always making the turnbuckles look rib cage shifting. 

But I do think Bigelow's control goes on for far too long. As much as I love bearhugs, we probably could have dropped one of the four trips back to a bearhug variation. Or, you know what fuck it, this should have had even more bearhug variations. It's the finals of the first ever PPV King of the Ring, have Bigelow lock in half a dozen. His bearhugs do all look great, as crushing as the best Andre bearhugs. We even get a sick over the shoulder variation that Bret sells like a crucifixion. The Luna interference was well utilized and the surprise finish is indeed a surprise to this day. Also, the restart was used well and I like that we didn't get the typical match ending 30 seconds after the restart. We still got another full match once Bigelow's win was (ridiculously) reversed, and that makes this come off like the important main event that it should have. I do think Hart took too long a beating to make the comeback he made, but Bigelow took Hart's offense really well, and the victory roll finish is a believable way to take down a big man. Bigelow had one of his best WWF performances, and it made me want to go back and watch the Hart/Bigelow match on the Bret dvd and see if I still think it's better than this one. Hart worked three very different and all very good matches in one night, and it's the kind of night that solidifies him as one of my very favorite wrestlers. It's not a stylish pick, but I think it's an undeniable one. 

After the match Hart gets a nice coronation, until Lawler comes out and interrupts and absolutely trashes Hart. Lawler smashes the chair over Hart, really bouncing it off his body, and punches the new crown right off Hart's head. I really wish Lawler had been in the KOTR proper, and against all the more freakshow opponents. I think Lawler would have been the best WWF opponent for Giant Gonzalez, and Lawler vs. Mr. Hughes around this time would have been incredible. But the King was such an excellent TV character during this era of WWF, a constant presence while working a quarter the matches as everyone else. There are so many matches I wish Lawler had over his long WWF run, so I savor angles like these that are slices of Memphis inserted in WWF main event angles. 

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The 1993 King of the Ring Qualifying Matches, Part 2

I took a look at the first half of the 1993 King of the Ring Qualifying matches last week, and here's the shocking conclusion, leading up to a review of the 1993 King of the Ring.


Giant Gonzalez vs. Tatanka WWF Superstars 5/15/93

ER: I love looking at Giant Gonzalez. People who criticize him during his naked Sasquatch suit period are people who don't have any sense of wonder. I wish I had been a kid in the crowd during any of the shows where Giant Gonzalez worked, because I would have been in wonder. Big Show is a far better wrestler than Giant Gonzalez, but Big Show has almost always come off like a very large normal man. Big Show has more mass than Gonzalez! But Gonzalez never came out to the ring wearing dad jeans and a tucked in polo shirt. Gonzalez looked like a damn freak of nature, like something out of a horror movie, and the body suit ruled. Anyone who tells you this weird muscle and pubes suit isn't the greatest shit, is lying to you or lying to themselves. This is a wildly giant man who projects even larger size with his movements and I love seeing him lumber around a ring. 

Tatanka is a cool opponent for him, not because it makes for a great match, but because as a child I wouldn't have known who was winning this match. Tatanka was undefeated! Gonzalez was wrecking 2-3 guys at a time and just chloroformed the Undertaker! An 8' tall man who could dispose of multiple men at once and also occasionally use serial killer tactics to end matches is an absolute wild card. Gonzalez is not great at selling on his feet, but I love the moments where he is clubbing Tatanka into dust. Tatanka gets hammered into the mat real well and Gonzalez knew how to make crazy eyes better than Big Show ever did. His selling on Tatanka's comeback is silly, he doesn't know how to stand or move when being attacked, so he wobbles and stumbles and puts his hands on his head like he is miming "Going Crazy!" But I loved Tatanka leaping off the top with a big tomahawk chop and getting caught by the throat. Our finish is weak, and understandably so, as Gonzalez shoves ref Bill Alphonso (props for using the tiniest ref in a Gonzalez match, smart visual) for the DQ while dragging Tatanka around by the neck, hitting him with a nice heavy chokeslam after the bell. Also, this match might also be one of the only matches in WWF history involving two indigenous opponents, which is really cool.


Doink vs. Mr. Perfect WWF Wrestling Challenge 5/16/93

ER: This is not as infuriatingly laid out as the first match in their series, but it has similar problems. The strengths are strong, and the work is strong, but the layout is still odd and the time limit draw comes off messy and way too early. Perfect has really good energy for a babyface, but is really stuck working like a heel at this point. He has too many heel tendencies and they all come out, and it clearly confuses crowd reaction. It is possible to play a smug babyface, but the formula is still off for '93 Perfect. Doink had a real spectacular entrance, filled with great close up mugs to the camera, weird popcorn eating, and squirting a 3 year old with his lapel flower. Perfect jumps him in the aisle to prevent him from terrorizing more kids, and Perfect quickly goes back to attacking the leg just like their first match. And, just like the first match, the leg work is strong! Perfect drops knees on Doink's leg, kicks at it, locks in a nasty trailer hitch, all of it looks painful. But again, that leads us to a sad clown limping and hopping around the ring and doing his best to fight back. There is nothing inherently wrong with a babyface targeting a limb, but it just plays bad to do it all at once. Perfect attacks Doink's leg for so long that the fans automatically start viewing Doink as the underdog. Just as with the first match, it's all wack. This match gets a couple favors their first match didn't get, such as no bad commercial break that divides the match into Perfect offense/Doink offense. But Perfect just massacres Doink's leg until Doink manages to be close enough to the ropes to toss Perfect to the floor, then Doink limps along slamming Perfect into the ring steps.

Now what this match doesn't get that their first match got, is some actual interesting nearfalls. The time limit draw here doesn't feel worked toward in any way, they just start throwing fists until a bell sounds and again take way too long to announce the result, leading to the exact same confused silence as the finish to their first match. Plus, when you end with a time limit draw after only 5-6 minutes, it's always insulting. I believe there was a Regal/Misterio match on Nitro that went 6 minutes and got called a 15 minute draw, so that's our low bar stupidity with the finish, but this wasn't much better. Also, Doink was absolutely THRASHING Perfect with his punches and got to throw a series of awesome left-rights until Perfect timmmmmberrrrrs over. Valiant fighting babyface, Doink. The ending is a real pile, but I dug Perfect asking for 5 more minutes (which would almost make this a 10 minute match!) and Doink running into the ring to jump him the second Perfect turns his back. Doink limps and hops on one leg all the way down the aisle as Perfect chases him off.


Shawn Michaels vs. Crush WWF Superstars 5/22/93

ER: What a great 5 minute match. Weak double count out finish aside, this was the best match of the Qualifying Rounds. The two of them were complementary enough that it made me want to go seek out their other few singles and tag matches (there aren't many, a couple Rockers/Demolition from '90 and singles matches from '93, surprising that they never crossed paths at any point in '96/'97). Crush really came off like a big babyface monster here, and Michaels helped a lot with that. Crush just facepalms Michaels across the entire ring to start the match, and it stays that level of great from there. Michaels does big bumps but a bunch of great Rock-taking-a-Stunner bumps all around the ring and ringside. I think that kind of exaggeratedly bumping has his place, and Michaels brings a great stooging Memphis flair to his showy bumps. Big athletic bumpers today intentionally seek to copy the athleticism portion of these bumps, most don't think of the stooge spot as the necessary delivery of the athletic bump. Michaels in '93 was really good at not devaluing the spot that caused the big bump. Crush facepalmed him, hit a big clothesline, got shoulderblocked, andMichaels bounced and flew for all of it. He goes through bigger bump ending variations on signature bumps, like when he gets kicked in the stomach while balanced across a corner, and flings himself over the top to the floor. Crush has an all time great Crush moment where he press slams Michaels and slowly walks him all the way around the ring, ref yelling to put him down, Crush walking around showing off a full extension press to every side of the ring, threatening to throw him like Bam Bam and Spike. I have never seen Crush cooler.

What really puts this over to next level was how good Crush was bumping for Michaels' run. Crush takes two notable spots and makes them mean much more, getting lured and leveraged into the ring steps by Michaels, and then run face first into a ringpost. He smashes hard into the steps, and I always like when a big man's first bump of a match is a big crash. A big crash landing that finally takes him down. Right after he's walking away to clear the cobwebs, and Michaels just runs and shoves him into the post. Crush has a great post bump, kind of sliding into it on his knees while he was bumping back. Most guys go in leaning forward and into it making it more obvious you're shielding with your hand, and you're bumping into an unmoving object. When Lawler bumps into a ring post and does it leaned back, feet going out in front of him, it focuses the bump equally on the post bump and back bump, so a great quick back bump really makes the posting go by quicker and look harder (Lawler takes several other post bump variations and make them also look great). So Crush gets waylaid by two straight shots into hard inanimate surfaces, and I love how that's ALL of Michaels' offense. I'm not sure later ego would have allowed for a match where he plays heel and the only time his opponent goes down is when he's shoved into an object. The double count out is disappointing, as the match was so hot that a good finish would have made it one of the sleeper best WWF matches of 1993. But it did set up the PPV match, so we'll see how that match goes soon.


Mr. Hughes vs. Kamala WWF Wrestling Challenge 5/23/93

ER: This could have been a lot better, but it really wasn't meant to be good. It was the shortest match of the Qualifying Round, not even making it to 3 minutes, and played as more of a Kamala/Kim Chee/Wippleman angle. Kamala had a silly and spirited performance that the crowd was into, and his standing shots came off better than Hughes'. Hughes felt like he was holding back. His strikes had a good physical motion to them, mixing up overhand rights, but they would land light. They look too pulled. Kamala would come back with big fat overhand chops and the crowd would fire up. Hughes does hit two of his big dropkicks consecutively (although Kamala sells the first one weird, kind of prancing around waving his arms before bumping for the second one). Kamala gets a cool surprise superkick when distracted by Kim Chee, throwing it back as Hughes approached, and then hit his running splash. Naturally, Hughes gets pinned while on his stomach. That's a really great crowd involvement spot, it's always great hearing all the kids screaming for Kamala to roll him over. It always works and Kamala's faces during it are always a fun silly way to get kids into things. Count out finish is cheap, but Kamala was established as easily confused at this point.


Doink vs. Mr. Perfect WWF Raw 5/24/93

ER: This was certainly the most fully realized of their three matches, and a really good TV match. The first two matches were clumsily or confusingly laid out matches with weak finishes but had strong in-ring. But in hindsight those first two matches were even more annoying because Mr. Perfect chose to work the exact same match in all three of them. It's like Perfect couldn't fathom coming up with a three match progression, so he just worked Doink's leg over in near identical ways in three straight matches over three weeks. The only thing that changed was time. This is the match he got the most time to flesh out the match, which is why the other two matches just felt like clipped matches that ended with no warning. He could have worked an out of control brawl leading to a double count out after 5 minutes, or have Doink close to winning the first and have him figuring out Doink more each match, but he doesn't do that. He just works the same exact progression of leg attacks, leading to the heel evil clown selling a leg injury the whole time. The knee injury was worked better into this match than the other ones, and had more time to go in more interesting ways.

What's disappointing is the match starts with Doink jumping Perfect and choking him with Perfect's hand towel, then wipes himself off with it, getting all the areas. So of course Perfect punches him and gets the towel, then hits a big lariat with the towel. It was a hot brawl that felt like the culmination and frustration of their prior two matches. But then Perfect starts the leg work the exact same way he started it the other two times, and we go into that match. It's a good version of that match, but it's like someone on their third attempt at a joke: even if it's funny it will have lost some momentum. Doink pays good service to selling the leg, not letting it stop him from doing a move he really shouldn't be doing (like jumping axe handles), but he would always be slowed immediately after.

I think Perfect took too much of a slice in these matches, and that Doink could have been more impressive with his limited time in each match. He should have been more vicious. Perfect is tough! But this is still good. Perfect takes a big bump to the floor after getting thrown, takes a really good ringpost bump to give Doink breath, and later in the match locks in a nasty figure 4 variation. A lot of great moments that don't always feel part of the same match but also always feel close to greatness. They involve the second Doink well, with Doink scrambling under the ring and coming out with fresh face paint and a much better wig, and Perfect immediately putting the new Doink away with a killer Perfect Plex. You knew Perfect was showing off when he would deadlift the Perfect Plex all the way over. Crush runs in after the match and really this should have set up a series of Perfect/Crush vs. The Two Doinks house show matches, but those matches never happened. Just Crush/Doink over and over until Crush was dead.

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The 1993 King of the Ring Qualifying Matches, Part 1

Doink vs. Mr. Perfect WWF Superstars 5/1/93

ER: I remember really liking their series throughout the KOTR tournament when I saw this as a kid, and I'm still interested to see what they bring in their other tournament matches, even though overall this match did not work for me at all. The ring work itself isn't much of a problem, but the pacing and layout and big ugly commercial break are all kinds of wack. The match is basically split in half, pre commercial and post commercial. In the 1st half it's Mr. Perfect absolutely reigning down terror on Doink, just mercilessly kicking Doink's ass around the ring and tearing apart his leg, dropping knees on his leg, trying to yank his leg out of socket, just punishing him. And Doink is selling this leg injury and literally on the mat pleading for Perfect to let up. And Perfect rips apart Doink's leg for so long that Doink clearly looks like a babyface, and the crowd gets noticeably quiet as Perfect keeps ripping at this evil clown's leg. The layout is completely baffling, because it's so dominated by the babyface that  it will then obviously lead to the evil clown valiantly fighting back on one leg. But they do us even worse than that, as they go to a commercial when Doink spills - again - to the floor, desperate to get away from the cruel Mr. Perfect.

And, of course, when they return from break, Mr. Perfect is laid out on the floor and Doink is back in the ring. They do not show us how the tide turned, all we know is that Doink got zero offense for the first half of this match, then SOMETHING happened, and Mr. Perfect was now hurt. I hate it. So then the back half is Doink going fully on offense, nobody is talking about Doink's bum wheel, and Doink is doing nothing but taking high leaps off the top rope and landing on his feet. Doink does a big axe handle to the FLOOR and another axe handle into the ring, and that whole match before the commercial break feels like it came from an entirely different match. Perfect starts pulling off nearfalls down the stretch, getting convincing falls off a small package and fighting into a backslide, but even then they come off like Doink is the babyface narrowly avoiding defeat. This match is so fucking weird. Perfect gets several nearfalls on Doink and the power structure in this match is so bizarre. Doink looks like he is valiantly surviving and Perfect looks like he's panicking to put Doink away, it's all so disconnected from the match they should have been working. The bell rings just as Perfect hits the Perfect Plex, which leads to more confusion and an angry crowd once the time limit draw is announced. This whole match was structured seemingly to confuse and irritate the crowd, the kind of match where the ring work looks strong but nothing either character does makes sense. Very annoying.


Lex Luger vs. Bob Backlund WWF Wrestling Challenge 5/2/93

ER: This was good, the proper way to work a basic face vs. heel qualifying round match, only making me wish we got way more heel Luger in WWF. Backlund flusters him to start, immediately going for a nice inside cradle and high angle backslide, sweeping Luger's legs out from him as he charges in, and the crowd is fired up by the simple heel/face formula. Luger is also someone really great at complaining his way down the aisle when he is flummoxed, really knows the level of ham to be employing on those aisle walks. We've all seen a ton of wrestlers doing aisle walks, but Luger's body language stands out in a specifically strong way. He's got the perfect posture of a man with all of the physical advantages anyone could possibly ever need, yet still finding every reason to act like he's at the disadvantage. I love how Backlund also immediately picks up where he left off when Luger gets back in the ring, immediately getting him in the corner and about to mount punches, and I loved Luger's sharp back elbow out of the corner that finally put him in control. Luger concentrates mostly on elbow strikes until Backlund's comeback, which is something I think Luger does well.

Backlund had weird timing in 1993. At first I wasn't sure where the cross-ups were coming from, but the more I go back and watch '93 Backlund the more I see guys getting crossed up by his timing. He releases too quickly on hip tosses (following through far too quickly for anyone to have completed their bump) and his dropkick positioning is too far back. He did these same two things to Razor Ramon in their WrestleMania match and it made both of them look like goofs. Luger handled it better here than Razor did there, and the finish of this one is strong for a count out. Luger pushes Backlund off to the floor after Backlund runs him into the ropes with a prawn hold - Backlund taking a real nice crashing bump through the ropes to the floor - and when Backlund gets back on the apron Luger just annihilates him with the metal plated elbow. Backlund flies deep into the aisle and there is no chance of him making it back in time to beat the count. Luger was awesome during the ref's count, acting exhausted while draping his arms over the ropes, like he had just been through a war. Big fan of this match. A well played qualifier.


Razor Ramon vs. Tito Santana WWF Superstars 5/8/93

ER: Quick match, under 4 minutes, but laid out smartly and efficiently for the time. One of my favorite things about Santana during this era is the different ways he would utilize the flying forearm. Since he wasn't winning a ton of matches in '93 he wasn't using it to win, but he would still find ways to smartly peak reactions around it. He smartly used it for crushing nearfalls, but here he went to it almost right away and got a HUGE reaction from the crowd. This era WWF fan really responded well to babyfaces. On the episode of Raw preceding this show there was a long Duggan/Michaels match, and the fans lost their minds for Jim Duggan. Here Tito got a great reaction during his entrance and the fans would get loudly behind him every time he was in control. When he hit that forearm the crowd flipped, Vince flipped, and Razor barely got his boot on the bottom rope. Great placement from everyone. And because Tito Santana is great and wrestling in 1993 wasn't a bunch of twee theater kids, Tito just starts raining down fiery mounted punches on Razor instead of looking at the ref with a "please don't piss on me" face. The strike exchanges were strong and Tito is good at working over arm wringers, plus one of Razor's great unheralded strengths is selling things like arm wringers. Razor is a strong "on your feet" salesman, the kind of guy who is better at dancing in place than most. Razor takes over with a big hotshot and throws some big stomps into the side of Tito's head. I would have liked a more dynamic finish, but the finish we got was good in terms of the characters involved. Tito had Razor reeling and went to the top for a crossbody (and the fans were reallllly buying into a Tito win here) but Razor rolled through the crossbody and held the tights. It's odd that Razor wasn't given a cleaner win, but it all made sense from a character standpoint.


Papa Shango vs. Jim Duggan WWF Wrestling Challenge 5/9/93

ER: Not great, but nobody was watching this one with Great Match Theory in mind. Shango is big and has the greatest makeup possible, Duggan is stunningly over, and they both throw strikes that aren't nearly as good as they should be. 1993 Duggan was getting big loud reactions from fans everywhere, and even though I lived through and watched this era I am still surprised at how fans were into every single thing about this guy. I like Duggan, but I just didn't remember him getting top of card reactions in 1993 (even with the Yokozuna stuff). Some nights Duggan lays in punches and comes in harder on shoulderblocks, but on nights like this he throws his punches slower and lighter and pulls way back on clotheslines. Charles Wright is weirdly one of the lighter big man workers in history, a guy who always looked like he should absolutely murder a guy but instead would hit so so axe handles and clubbing offense. Shango goes over for a nice backdrop and then lay around in a Shango chinlock for awhile, and eventually Duggan hits the 3 point clothesline for a clean win. They can't all be winners, but the fans were into this. The people in 1993 knew what they wanted, and they wanted to yell about the USA.


Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon WWF Raw 5/10/93

ER: It's really good to know Vince and I are on the same page, as he flat out says "talking about the beef". Now, I skimmed back in the episode to hear what I missed, and I'm not certain anyone was ever talking about beef. I have no idea what anyone could have been said concerning "all that beef", to get Vince to bring up that damn beef, but he's sure not wrong. This is filled with big beef slamming into each other. Some of the strikes were a little lacking (there was a miscommunication on one, other times Bigelow throws these not punches/not forearms that were disappointing), but all the good stuff was there. Typhoon hits a big bodyslam, Bigelow hits an even bigger bodyslam and a super impressive back suplex (Typhoon never looks like he goes up easy for offense, so this lift was quite a feat)...and in an amusing moment Typhoon springs back to his feet to hit a lariat that sends Bigelow FLYING out of the ring. He went through the middle ropes so quick and he just dropped out of view, swallowed by the earth. We got two different fun moments of each man trying to get back in the ring (dug Typhoon's knees first bump dropping onto the ring steps), and the finish is cool with Bigelow muscling him up AGAIN, this time for a big ass Samoan drop (which Vince points out was Bigelow sending a threat to Tatanka) and hitting the diving headbutt. This was what you'd want. Also, nobody makes mention of the fact that this was a battle of Fire vs. Water, which feels like the exact reason you have a soundbite guy like Savage out there.

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WWF King of the Ring 1995

"Philadelphia, the city where the Declaration of Independence was signed! But tonight, MONARCHY will reign!" I love that line, and Vince shouts it like a deranged Kent Brockman. I am ready for this.

1. Savio Vega vs. IRS

ER: Razor Ramon injured himself at a house show a couple weeks before the PPV, so this was the match to determine his replacement to battle Yokozuna. IRS honestly has one of my favorite looks in wrestling history. His build was perfect for the Tom Fitton fit, with the sick cuffed short sleeves and deep red braces. It's a great look. The match was quick, 4 minutes, but worked fast. Vega starts the match with a super convincing small package, convincing enough that I thought they were pulling a "4 second record setting victory" type of angle to give Savio a push out of the gates. But Savio gets a good reaction with a couple more quick pins, with an especially nice high cradle. IRS presses the pace nicely, and Vega is good at quick bursts, so it's a surprisingly effective match. IRS goes up top because he's a dummy, and eats boot off an axehandle, then takes an amusing belly flop bump. The finish is a fun quick killshot, IRS running fast into a super high leaping Savio spinning heel kick. I like how this show is starting.

2. Yokozuna vs. Savio Vega

ER: Damn, they really gave Savio the short straw here, starting off the night fighting his way into the tourney and then immediately facing a force like Yoko? I do like Vince's reasoning that this is to Savio's advantage because Savio has his heart rate up and momentum rolling. Yoko is always so stoic to start matches that it makes sense Savio's fired up energy from his win would possibly overwhelm Yokozuna. And, naturally, Yokozuna would have been spending the past several weeks training specifically to fight Razor. Savio has inroads here. Yoko waves that Japanese flag in the faces of these freedom loving Philadelphians, and Savio waves a joint American/Puerto Rican flag to a surprising amount of cheers. 

And they play into that great Savio spinning heel kick I mentioned the match before, and it ties into Yoko training for Razor but gathering intel on Savio, as Yoko belly flops quickly to the mat early in the match when Savio tries to finish early with that same spinning heel kick. Yoko takes a couple of his big bumps here, a large missed elbow and a great transitional missed legdrop. The standing exchanges between the two are really strong, with Vega landing hard strikes and Yoko reeling before hitting back harder. Savio does hit his spinning heel kick but Cornette interrupts the pin, then takes a great bump to the floor after Savio belts him. The finish is lamer than the match deserved, as Owen Hart runs out to attack Razor Ramon at ringside, and then Savio runs out there, and then Yoko runs out there, but the camera completely misses big bump into the ringpost and ring steps, the bump that allows Savio to get the count out win. The count out win is cheap, and I am somewhat resentful of the Savio victory because it kills the chance of Mabel/Yokozuna. That's stupid.

3. The Roadie vs. Bob Holly

ER: Roadie is making his solo PPV debut, and you know he has a nice show vest for his entrance. But dear God the gear on Double J and Roadie is just woeful. Roadie also debuts his new PPV extensions and it makes him look like a weirdo creep maitre'd at a crime front restaurant in Strange Days. But the MATCH rules, outside of a second straight lousy finish. This is an awesome match with a real zilch of a finish, and that's too bad, but there's still a ton of match here that is really great. I kept thinking about 80s Brad Armstrong fast paced 10 minute singles, which is funny because Holly was the one giving me those vibes, not Brad's brother. This felt like a 1995 Rey/Psicosis match, only worked within the parameters of two southern wrestlers. 

It was worked super fast, Holly going for small packages and school boys and other flash pins while confounding Roadie with high hip tosses and shoulder dislocating armdrags. Roadie bails to the floor, comes back in and takes over. Roadie did have really good offense, different than his Road Dogg offense. The dancing was integrated better during his '98 run, but he has a couple things in '95 that he later unfortunately dropped. The best was a hard elbow drop to the back of Holly's neck, while Holly was sitting up. The whole thing was really good, good enough that if a couple of other matches hit this level of quality, I'll come away with favorable impressions of this show. Now, we do get some evidence of an ongoing problem, as this is the second match with a real lousy finish. Bob Holly goes up top, jumps off into Roadie with another downed opponent axe handle (already seen in the opener as a significant transition spot), but here Holly flies into Roadie's boot and gets pinned. I don't think I've ever seen someone get pinned from jumping face first into a vertically lifted leg. To his credit, Holly made it look almost plausible as a finish, and Roadie's scrambling opportunistic pin sank that in. But even though executed well, it came off flat as hell. Starting the main show with two sour finishes is a tough pill.

4. Kama vs. Shawn Michaels

ER: Well we definitely have established the theme of this show, which is very fun matches with very stupid endings. This one goes to a 15 minute draw, fully establishing the 15 minute draw as the Alone, Eating Over the Garbage Can of wrestling finishes. I was fully into this until they popped a countdown clock in the corner. Kama starts by throwing big telegraphed bombs, with Michaels hopping around like Ali, made all the more amusing when they cut to Joe Frazier in the crowd looking absolutely perplexed at Michaels. The two lady companions with Smokin' Joe are even pointing and laughing at what they're seeing. But there's a chance that those ladies were just plain wrong about pro wrestling, and that Frazier - some 20 years removed from his Ali and Foreman beatings - was actually just punch drunk. Because this delivered much more than I was expecting it to. And that's with me still miffed that Kama took Duke Droese's rightful place on this PPV! 

But the cat and mouse is good, and it leads to a great moment of Michaels skinning the cat but then getting lambasted with a great Kama lariat. Michaels takes a couple of big important bumps that play into the story, including a great version of his flipping corner bump that is just insanely fast, sending him upside down and over to the floor. Kama works simple stuff like backbreakers and that big man move I love where Michaels is bent backwards over Kama's knee, Kama pressing back on Michaels' chin. And what's awesome is that Michaels punches his way out of that, and he really tightens up his strikes in this match, clearly just punching Kama right in the head several times. That continues when Michaels gets on top and throws mounted punches, throwing 8 shots right into Kama's forehead, hard enough that Kama clearly checks to see if a cut opened. But the countdown clock really dampens the mood, as neither man seems to notice the countdown, so Michaels is doing slow corner 10 count punches with only a minute left to go, and while they built to a good "he woulda had him!" pinfall right as time expired, the fact that neither really acted like they were trying to finish really hurt it. Bob Holly worked the first several minutes of his match, they way they should have worked the final two minutes of this match. The fact that Michaels just immediately hits sweet chin music out of frustration post match, only highlights how stupid it was that he didn't go for that during any of the previous 15 minutes. Also, not having either guy advance is D-U-M-B DUMB. These finishes are brutal so far.

5. Mabel vs. The Undertaker

ER: This lags at times, sputters a bit, but eventually evolves into a real nice Mabel performance. He really got a bad rap from the internet doofuses not long after this, but he's a guy who would have been a big territory start if he wrestled exactly like this 10 years earlier. So it's a shame he never fully took during this era. Was it the shiny purple onesie? If he just had the Big Daddy V gear. All black gear, with his size, big star. This is filled with both guys running into each other with hard shoulderblocks, Mabel falls all over the place, splats Undertaker and sits on him a couple times, and we get cool moments like Undertaker with his foot tangled in the ropes and a tug of war while that happens (Taker trying to pull Mabel to the floor while his foot is tied up, Mabel trying to pull him up), and a huge belly to belly from Mabel that looked really great. Mabel even hits a picture perfect piledriver, and the visual of a 550 lb. man doing a classic piledriver is so bizarre, but so amazing. I thought a lot of Taker's stuff looked a little too tentative here. Mabel had obviously a slower gameplan, slowly crushing Taker, and it needed Taker to respond with a little more energy instead of just working the same pace as Mabel. Mabel whips Taker into the corner and smooshes the ref, allowing Kama to run in and interfere, allowing Mabel to hit a great legdrop to the back of Taker's head for the win. This match really did not need a finish based around interference, and the inability to give any single person a convincing win in this tournament is just bizarre. "People didn't take ______ seriously and that's why business is bad" is a pretty obvious take when everyone who has advanced in this tournament has done so almost by accident. Let Savio pin Yoko, let Mabel pin Undertaker, let The Roadie get a normal win over Bob Holly for goodness' sake.

6. Savio Vega vs. The Roadie

ER: This was a perfectly fine match, treated to a really icy reception from the Philly crowd. It's hard not to buy into the narrative that a series of bad finishes was wearing on this crowd. You had to think all the kids were thinking they'd be seeing a semifinals of Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna and Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker, and instead they're seeing Savio Vega vs. The Roadie and No Match because of a Draw. They shorted them a match due to a Draw! So I get the icy reception, even though the match was fine. They got real cold during Roadie's control segment, quiet enough that both men verbally appealed to the crowd at different points. It sounds so foreign in a WWF environment to see Roadie first go "What does everyone think of the Road Dogg?" to silence, followed by Savio Vega stopping his comeback so that he could go "Come on!" to the crowd. 

It rattles them a bit and some stuff suffers, like Roadie doing his flashy jab combo with the big finisher right hand at the same time Savio is doing a salsa hulk-up, so Roadie's big punch combo that he is now doing for the first time, is ignored the entire time. It's just a middling layout in a match that could have been better. Savio gets the win, and in what should be his biggest babyface moment yet, he does a full ringside interview in Spanish with Dok Hendrix doing the translating; it's actually a really funny bit, with Hendrix saying things like, "He's saying 'I don't have a shot at beating Mabel...I'm considering just not showing up and going home...I don't know how I made it this far and I'm having doubts..." It's a genuinely hilarious bit, but the whole entire thing was done at the complete expense of Savio Vega. Vega is a guy who had been in maybe 5 TV matches before this PPV, and this was supposed to be his big hard fought struggle through the finals: He won a last minute dark match to make it onto the PPV itself, then had his first PPV match in the very next match! This was a hilarious bit at the expense of the guy who needed some help in that moment.

7. Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

ER: In the TV leading up to this PPV, this match had to have had the most TV time devoted to it. Vince was absolutely giddy at the prospect of the first ever in history Kiss My Foot match, so we had a TON of segments with Lawler showing off comically gunked up bare feet, and so many segments with Bret calling Lawler a scumbag (which, well). But the segments clearly worked because this crowd despises Lawler. They are certainly treating this match as if it was the most important match on the show (though we can compare the reactions to the Bigelow/Diesel tag and Savio/Mabel). And the match itself is fantastic. I've never heard much praise for this match in their feud, but that was tremendous stuff. It's their great complementary styles compacted into 10 minutes, both guys work snug as hell, Lawler takes some of his best and unique bumps, and it's based around such a stupid horseshit mudshow stipulation that is the exact level of stupid horseshit mudshow stipulation that Lawler can get it over in his sleep. 

Hart had some awesome strikes here, really smashing his forearm across Lawler's nose, fast short uppercuts, tight headbutts; late in the match he punches Lawler while Lawler is on his knees, and Lawler takes this gorgeous gunshot bump to the mat. This show did a reported 16,000+ in attendance, and Lawler takes this admirable approach to things and works it like it was in front of 250 people in a church rec room. And this small focus work, getting into verbal spars with fans on all sides of the ring, really hammers home the threat of the stipulation, and this small focus work really starts to work for the entire arena. The match gets great heat and it's a beautiful thing to see small crowd Memphis heel techniques working on a big "workrate" Philly crowd.

Lawler hits three big piledrivers on Bret, all angling Bret off the mat in different ways, but Lawler takes a ton of time between all of them to talk shit to the crowd. Lawler in Philly full time would have been legendary. Then we get a great bit of BS where Lawler takes off his boot and has a bloody moldy sock that he tries to choke Bret with, Bret desperately hold the foot at bay. On the floor Lawler continues to show how he's the best ringpost bumper in wrestling history, getting pulled face first into it in such a convincing bit of magic that I expected to see a bloody nose. There was botched interference from Hakushi, more violent fast bumps from Lawler, a mean snap to Bret's familiar comeback offense (the Russian leg sweep and elbow off the middle rope landed especially sharp), the exact right amount of BS to go with the BS stip, elevated by perfect execution from both. This match was such an excellent use of time and really paid off the perfectly dumb TV time spent on it.

8. Mabel vs. Savio Vega

ER: This was a very good King of the Ring Final, easily the best of the actual KOTR matches tonight. This was an excellent match that the crowd TRIED to turn on with a loud ECW chant, and the match was good enough to get that crowd reinvested in the finish just moments later. Savio came out at the bell looking more impressive than he has in any appearance thus far, as he chopped Mabel into the corner - convincingly - and the visual of him backing up this mountain with chops made him like like a total pitbull. When Mabel is the slumped into the corner, Savio laces in with the best chops of the night; sometimes with both arms, always landing with a huge whipcrack. Savio Vega's attack on Mabel was great, peaking with Savio muscling Mabel over the top to the floor with a huge clothesline, Mabel taking a spectacular tumbling bump. Mabel smooshes Savio, hits his big belly to belly, and works a long bearhug that gets the fans restless. I liked it in the context of the match, Mabel playing the smart game, the odds, but it leads to an ECW chant lead by Straw Hat Guy and several other fans you've been distracted by while watching wrestling shows. But shortly into the comeback they can't deny the quality of the ringwork, and the match gets cheered to the finish. Vega got a great nearfall off a high cradle schoolboy, and also hit one of his best spinning heel kicks, getting unreal height. He gets a big kickout after a huge powerslam, but goes down to a big splash where Mabel really lays him out. This was a main event that did the tournament justice, something the rest of the tournament matches had fallen short of. This eventually got the positive crowd reaction it deserved, but it deserved it earlier.

9. Sycho Sid/Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Diesel

ER: The TV build up to this was all about Sid injuring Diesel's right elbow, Bigelow pledging his undying friendship to Diesel, and Sid making the best possible blinking crazy eyes facials in wrestling. Touched and crazy has always been a mode that wrestlers have struggled with, most commonly going far over the top or being too scared to do so. Sid finds the perfect balance and plays the man just on the edge of snapping better than anyone else. I wish we had a Sid cam, because occasionally the cameras during this era catch Sid on the apron just blinking and talking to himself - and this is during moments where he couldn't possibly know there are any cameras on him. A lot of this is kick and punch, with Bigelow occasionally taking a big dangerous bump to get people back into it. Sid kicks Diesel's elbow from the apron and Tatanka throws some tomahawk chops at it, and we get Sid really bending that bad elbow back across the ring ropes in mean ways, and the heels upheld their end of the bargain. Diesel didn't pay a ton of attention to it, outside of one big moment where he hit an elbowdrop on Sid, using the bad elbow, allowing Sid to go back on the offensive. 

But the problem is Diesel used his bad elbow for EVERYTHING. Every strike thrown, his big side slam, even posting up on the top rope while he was waiting for a tag. He used that elbow the whole damn match, and it really took away from the work of Sid and Tatanka. Bigelow tried some big things, including basically chokeslamming himself off the top rope. Sid backs him in the corner and gets Bigelow seated up on the top, choking him while Bigelow paws at Sid's face. I assume the plan was for him to be chokeslammed off, but Sid, didn't quite grab hold of him, and Bigelow just went for it anyway, taking a nice arcing bump and then selling it well on the mat; later Bigelow his a somersault senton on Tatanka and I'm not even sure that was supposed to happen, as Tatanka drops down and Bigelow does a big cannonball, but lands a little too vertically up on his neck. Considering the cannonball isn't a move that Bigelow commonly used, it felt like he was actually bumping but wasn't expecting Tatanka to be there? Vince and Dok were confused on commentary as well, but I like hearing Vince call it a cannonball. 

They also muff the hot tag to Diesel, as the way everyone was positioned in the ring made it look like Hebner was supposed to miss the tag, and to the crowd used to how tag wrestling works they clearly thought Diesel was going to be sent back to the apron, and even Vince was saying the referee didn't see the tag...but Diesel's hot tag was allowed, and this just means it was performed to no heat. I can't tell if Diesel was selling his elbow when giving Tatanka the Jackknife. He could have been, but if that's the case it just looked like he hit a really poor Jackknife. I do dig the finish of him pulling up Tatanka at 2, then challenging Sid to get in the ring, only for Sid to back down before Diesel pins Tatanka. On a show with too many screwy finishes, at least Sid committed to standing down as a classic heel move.


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The 1995 King of the Ring Qualifying Matches, Part 2

Duke Droese vs. Kama WWF Superstars 5/27/95

ER: There's something nice about these condensed big boy battles, I mean outside of the fact that it's a big boy battle and therefore the greatest thing in wrestling. The short runtime always turns them into sprints, and I love seeing these guys run around. I also amuse myself with the idea that somewhere, there is someone who champions Kama - the Extreme Fighting Machine - as the best era of Charles Wright's career. Wright is a guy who hung around for a LONG time without having many (any?) matches championed, but one era has to by default be his best in ring era. So why not Kama? I await the heated debates. And I can't get over how many people in the crowd love Droese! Since this was not an era I watched as it happened, all I've heard about was how lame it was that WWF had a garbage man and a plumber and a dentist etc. But the fans were clearly into Droese and he was clearly very good! There is a woman with an infant shown cheering elatedly for the Dumpster, and I wonder where that woman is today? 25 years on, does she remember how excited she was to see Duke Droese banging his trashcan down the aisle? I hope so. I hope that no matter her relationship with modern wrestling, she occasionally thinks back to how happy she was here, that one perfect day at the Superstars tapings. As for the match, I liked it. Kama throws some nice distance kicks, and I really liked his mule kick to counter Droese charging into the corner. But this was a MAJOR Droese showcase, and it's surprising how dominant he was here. He works really fast, really exciting on offense; he hit a high dropkick, really hard pair of clotheslines after some complicated rope running, and his big rotation powerslam on a big guy like Kama was impressive as hell. And my god, let me tell you, we also got my absolute favorite moment, which is Droese TAKING DOWN THE STRAPS OF HIS OSHA REGULATED HEAVY LIFTING BELT before going in for the kill. That's a flat out genius babyface character specific spot and Droese is so much better than I have ever been lead to believe. He and Kama worked a couple fun standing exchanges, and as nice as these sprints are it would have been nice to see them stretch out a bit. Instead, the match ends suddenly with a big Kama spinebuster. Million Dollar Corporation win again. That white male fan rubbing his fingers together during their entrance, eyes smug, showing he knew the international sign of Big Bucks? He was right.


Jeff Jarrett vs. The Undertaker WWF Raw 5/29/95

ER: This was tremendous, an awesome under 10 minute match. Jarrett was a real ace in '95, might be the very peak intersection of his specific set of skills. Here he was still a super fast, hard bumping, graceful moving stooge, a pretty boy in the most garish wrestling gear of the decade, a total non-threat who keeps somehow winning. Jarrett gets flung around the ring in glorious fashion, whipped hard into the turnbuckles, flying high on beals, big bumps off his shoulders. But with Roadie running distraction he is able to gain frequent advantages, able to control Taker convincingly while also seeming like a constant underdog who frustratingly stays ahead. Jarrett throws two stunning dropkicks, the second of which was a picture of a perfect dropkick, his feet perfectly together, body fully extended, feet squarely angled into Undertaker's face. This was the right way to work a back and forth match, and there were 5 momentum changes over a 10 minute runtime; that kind of back and forth can be tiresome in the wrong hands, but this was pretty expertly crafted. This had the feel of a real cool Coliseum Video gem.


Doink vs. The Roadie WWF Superstars 6/3/95

ER: Man I am a big fan of 1995 Ray Apollo Doink. He really served the gimmick well and was much closer to Bourne's style than Lombardi's. This whole thing was a really curious decision, even having Roadie in the qualifying rounds of the tournament. Roadie had one match in WWF at this point (the televised handicap match w/ JJ vs. Razor at the IYH that just happened) and was clearly just positioned as a non-wrestling manager. That's why it wasn't deemed an insurmountable threat that he was included as an odds stacker against Razor. The roster was filled with guys who would have made way more on paper sense to have in the tourney: Hakushi, Henry Godwinn, Lawler, 1-2-3, the debuting Candido (if they wanted a new guy in the final 8), Pierre, etc. I had said Jacob Blu was the weirdest inclusion in the tourney, since he had not wrestled any singles matches in WWF, but that's probably not as weird as the manager who had only been in one match to this point. Now the match itself is fun as hell, as Doink works this as he would a match against a non-worker. Apollo is really underrated in the gimmick, as his work is quick and he knows how to fill all of his time with action and gimmick. There is no dead air, he takes a cool approach to Roadie, hits a cool amateur takedown, grabs a single leg and works an ankle while stepping on Roadie's other ankle, flipping him and working for an STF, then passing to work on a grounded headlock, scrapes his boot bottoms across Roadie's eyes, holds him at distance in a collar and elbow, then pops Roadie's head between his knees for a piledriver and just stomps his feet instead to ring his bell. Doink's offense is great, and he comes off more like Mr. Wrestling II than the poor version of the Clown that Lombardi portrayed. Apollo is really great at getting the fans into his offense, knows when to include Doink, knows when to mock along with Roadie's stooging, really shakes his butt and taunts Roadie during the "piledriver" set up, and then his super high gorgeous kneelift while I was typing all of that just confirms that Ray Apollo was a 1984 territory babyface and was great at his job, the Hennig rolling necksnap a delicious cherry on top. Roadie does get offense in, has a really nice falling back elbow, but his strength here is stooging, and when Doink is dropping cool back suplexes like Jack Brisco that is not really an insult. And the finish to the match is far too simplistic for the quality work they had given the match: Doink goes up for the whoopee cushion, jumps down because Jarrett makes a fuss at ringside, then Roadie hits a kneelift to the back and gets a school boy. That's a shame. It's an ending that makes sense with the character and how he had been portrayed in limited physical appearances, but I just wanted something a little more clever. The match itself was super fun and gave me a new perspective on late period WWF Doink, might just have to seek out more Apollo Doink.


Owen Hart vs. The British Bulldog WWF Raw 6/5/95

ER: This was my least favorite of the KOTR Qualifying Matches. It is a 15 minute draw, and the commentary by JR and Gorilla had that exact same annoying quality that Jeff Blatnick's commentary during the Rulon Gardner/Karelin match had. The commentary was clearly dubbed over a previously recorded match, the live crowd clearly was not made aware of any time limit, so JR and Gorilla really started hammering home the remaining time in the last few minutes of the match, then immediately explained that neither man would be advancing since neither man had won. It was a real limp dick result to the match, and their scripted explanation was brutal. It was this blatant "Well you know neither man won the match, and if there was no winner then neither man can advance!" "That's right, rules state that winners advance, and there was no winner here, so that means that they lost their chance!" It came off extremely phony, a seemingly complicated situation shrugged off with some "Well what are you gonna do?" rules chat. It was Jeff Blatnick explaining the very obscure rules that zero people would know offhand, in the immediate moment after the bell, a man buoyantly pretending he didn't have the test answers ahead of time.

The match proper was a bit of a bore until a hot but meaningless finishing sprint. They telegraphed going long by the deliberate pace they worked for the first half, and that's fine, but once JR and Gorilla started talking about time limits that made me realize what we were working towards. Bulldog gasses after a run of offense that at least included a nice press slam and a hard delayed vertical suplex, but ended with him holding a chinlock and open mouth panting in Owen's face. Owen had nice comebacks and hit harder to make up the size, really whipping into Bulldog with his spinning heel kick. We got a long kind of awkward moment where Bulldog set Owen up for La Tapatia, which lead to him popping a squat while standing on Owen's knee backs, while the director scrambles to cut through all of the various camera angles to figure out which is the least provocative angle of Bulldog holding that squat. And then after he took all that time to apply and eventually roll Owen through it, the ref immediately counts Bulldog's shoulders down, which is very stupid. Not only stupid visually, but stupid because we sat through a minute of set up for a move that ended in 2 seconds. After planning. The stretch run of this was the greatest stretch of the match, as we go through a real good sprint through pinfalls, handled much better than the frantic Time Limit Remaining endings typically go. Owen and Bulldog are both really good at plausibly holding cradles and pins, making every single pin look match ending. Owen grabbed a small package to stop a rope running Bulldog that felt like a weird World of Sport round ender, and Bulldog hit a cool crucifix pin with a snug high bridge. The rush to that time limit was hot, but even that was marginalized because I was deflated by knowing exactly what they were rushing towards.


Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger WWF Raw 6/12/95

ER: Due to the flat tire that was last week's time limit draw, we get Yoko and Luger announced as the next to potential qualifiers for that 8 seed. They do a kind of hilarious and sad video package with a real insulting timeline: Yokozuna beating Hogan for the title at KOTR '93, Luger slamming him on the Intrepid the next month, Luger getting "the moral victory" at Summerslam, and after that...."Now Luger gets another chance at getting into the mix for the title!" The montage literally covered June thru August 1993, and then skipped straight to June 1995 to explain that this is "arguably" the biggest match of Luger's career. This match would be a big deal if say Barry Horowitz was getting a shot at being the 8 seed, but I'm not sure I should give them credit for painting this as Luger getting revenge after not winning the title 2 years prior. That seems like a hard stretch. And unfortunately for Luger, he comes off as big of a boner as he came off in not beating Yokozuna for the title two years earlier.

The match is really good, with Yoko working as sadistic big striking monster fat guy, buckling Luger with full arm windup chops, hitting him in the face with a big lariat, going down quick for missed elbows and a legdrop. Luger threw nice punches straight into Yoko's face, ran into him on shoulderblocks and axe bombers, hit a big flying clothesline off the top, and we built to Yoko's wonderful banana peel bump and his all time fat guy signature bump (the one where he crashes through the middle ropes to the floor). But the finish is rough and makes Luger look like a real doofus. He runs out to save his American flag, punches Cornette, Fuji chops Scotty Anton in the neck, Scotty Anton is there holding the flag for some reason, and Luger gets counted out when Yokozuna smacks him into the ring post and legdrops him. Yokozuna has haunted Luger ever since the Intrepid, and Luger is the high school QB who washed out in college.


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The 1995 King of the Ring Qualifying Matches, Part 1

Mabel vs. Adam Bomb WWF In Your House 5/14/95

ER: This was big man perfection. Barely 2 minutes, all killer no filler, a great Bomb performance in a quick loss. A lot of guys could get pouty knowing they have to lose on PPV in under 2 minutes, but Bomb just took the opportunity to show off all his offense. Mabel is a total giant fat guy superstar, he starts the match squishing Bomb with an avalanche, then missing a full speed avalanche bump that shakes the ring. Adam Bomb goes on his big offense run, hits a big flying shoulderblock to Mabel's back - Mabel taking a super fast forward rolling bump through the ropes to the floor, crazy bump - which leads to a nice Bomb pescado. He is constant motion because he knows he has basically one minute to shine. He climbs to the top and hits a big shoulder tackle that Mabel takes his big back bump for. I mean this whole thing kicks ass. Mabel makes quick work on the comeback, hits his rolling heel kick hard into Bomb's stomach, and drops him with a full weight powerslam and just flattens him on the pin. This is how you do a two minute match.


Bob Holly vs. Mantaur WWF Raw 5/15/95

ER: When the Vince biopic eventually gets made as a moderately well received theatrical release, I hope they get Walton Goggins to play known Vince workout buddy Bob Holly. Danny Huston will be Vince but you gotta have a couple weird workout scenes with Walton Goggins. And this match was really good, definitely the best Mantaur match of the batch that I've retroactively watched. Mantaur mauled Holly while Holly bumped effectively, with some nicely peppered in Holly nearfalls and a triumphant Holly win, it was a really fun match structure. Mantaur got to show his power with a couple big powerslams and a sidewalk slam, and dropped nice elbow drops (among his best from what I've seen). He has a nice elbowdrop and should have done it even more. Holly bumped around impressively for all of it, real good babyface. Holly takes an especially big bump to the floor and it was the first time I'd really seen Mantaur come off like a monster. Holly's comebacks were all good, with a convincing school boy and a really great missile dropkick that I don't remember him having. Mantaur really leaned into it and it added to the harder than average hitting feeling of the match. Mantaur loses in convincing fashion, but it felt like Holly got an upset. This was a good TV match.


Razor Ramon vs. Jacob Blu WWF Superstars 5/20/95

ER: On paper this feels like a 15 seed taking on a 2 seed. I mean Jacob had worked exclusively tag matches, but he got an itch to just go and join a singles match tournament? I mean they had some interesting singles match guys that would have been far better utilized as an opening round guy. Lawler, Hakushi, Pierre, Man Mountain Rock! All could have slotted in nicely. But here's Jacob Blu going up against one of the tournament favorites...and the match is fun as hell. Blu is limited, but willing to work active. He throws a bunch of big running boots, many hitting Razor right in the head, but leaving nice openings when they miss. Razor is a good puncher whose name should be included more often in the great puncher discussions, but Blu holds his own. He is wrestling a much more interesting style here, before more of the tenets of white nationalism had crept in. White supremacy dulls you too much. But a big guy who just attacks with big boots, yakuza kicks, elbow drops, and a grounded headlock will go a long way with me. Jacob doesn't even have a great headlock, but I'm a total sucker for those great headlocks where the person applying it lies down flat to increase the pressure. Razor takes a huge bump over the top to the floor, gets a surprise nearfall on a small package, hits a big bulldog off the middle buckle, and then gets a school boy when Savio Vega comes out to attack Eli and Zeb. I was surprised at how much Razor gave to Jacob here, but this was a Jacob Blu dominated match. Leave it to Razor to take a guy who had never worked a singles match before any of these people, and make him look like a guy who belonged in the KOTR tournament.


King Kong Bundy vs. Shawn Michaels WWF Raw 5/22/95

ER: This was a real good Shawn performance, because there were some moments where Bundy came off like a total load. Shawn made up for that by hitting Bundy in the face and really flinging his body into him. With a stronger Bundy control segment this could have been a real gem. Bundy tries to jump Michaels during his awful Striptease entrance, eats the buckles, and Michaels hits a sweet jumping knee to bump Bundy to the floor (big bump through the ropes to the floor from Bundy), allowing Michaels to finish removing his chaps and vest and police hat before he goes up top and hits a great plancha. Shawn was hammy in a good way in this one, as he kept taking aggressive attacks to Bundy, while fitting in time to antagonize Dibiase at ringside. Bundy is a bit too tentative to really step to that next level as an egg shaped monster thumb. It's very possible he was going through some pain, as he just holds up a lot on some of his stuff. There's a missed splash that looks like he was getting down on his knees to look for a contact lens. And when he blocks a sunset flip by just plopping onto Shawn, he really needs to plop, in that Super Porky "I can't hold this back to only 80%" kind of way. But he does drop a nice elbow as Shawn was trying to get up, grabs a nice meaty bearhug, stands on Shawn's throat with his boot, all of that stuff was great. But he was kind of clunky at taking offense, particularly a big crossbody from Michaels. He totally brick walls Michaels, but not really in an intentional or cool way. Michaels just bounces off of him with the crossbody and then Bundy just tips over as if he was doing a trust fall with nobody there. It felt so disconnected from the actual move. Still, the structure was sound and Michaels worked hard, and even a tentative fat guy is going to have several cool fat guy moments.

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