Lucha Underground Episode 36: The Beginning of the End Review

ER: So Pentagon's Master will reveal himself when he "proves that he is ready", which I assume is going to be a loooooong time from now as he's presently getting handled by tiny women and tubby announcers.

1. Bengala vs. Delavar Daivari

ER: I'm torn on whether to give Striker credit or not for "Bengala trying to earn his stripes". I groaned, but also appreciated how he said it in a real understated way instead of trying to yuk it up. Not a big fan of more Daivari wrestling on TV, but they kept this short at least. Bengala hit a great dive past the turnbuckles, and I liked his rolling German finish, but this really wasn't much.

PAS: I thought this was pretty good, Daviari is one of my least favorite people in this fed (and they all wrestled tonight!!) but he was inoffensive, and I thought Bengala was pretty cool, I loved all of the backfire interference spots by Big Ryck, and Bengalas tope taking him out was pretty cool. Perfectly acceptable stuff.

ER: I don't think I've ever seen anybody get more laid out by a chokeslam than Pentagon was here. Dude looked like he died after taking a 4 foot back bump. I'm just really not sure what to make of this whole feud. Pentagon is likely going to win, but I imagine Vampiro is going to come out looking like the real winner. The crowd seemed amped to see an out-of-shape-Vic-Mackey-stuck-behind-a-desk cosplayer take out one of the bigger badasses in the fed, and it's likely not going to be as infuriating as the wretched and embarrassing Sexy Star feud, but there's just no amount of smoke and mirrors that can make this good, right? This whole promo segment was pretty bad. Last week Vampiro got jumped and got gasoline dumped all over him. This week he and Pentagon stand in the ring NOT tearing each other apart, Pentagon making Ian Hodgkinson jokes, Vampiro casually walking around the ring with his back turned to Pentagon (the man who just attacked him from behind last week), just a bad bad segment.

PAS: I think Vampiro has been OK in this role, I agree about the craziness of that chokeslam being sold like that and I would rather see Pentagon do something else, but this is worlds better than the Sexy Star feud, and if you are going to build to a Vampiro match in 2015 you could certainly do worse then this.

2. King Cuerno vs. Killshot

ER: Cuerno hasn't been on in over a month, and now he's waiting in the ring after a commercial break while fucking KILLSHOT gets his entrance!? That's some absurd bullshit right there. And Vampiro is now just like that my new hero, as Killshot does an embarrassing running back elbow and Vampiro goes "what was THAT?" Nobody knows, Vamp. It certainly doesn't look like something meant to do harm to another human. Killshot may have the most thigh slap based offense I've ever seen. And none of his strikes ever look like they land. They're timed properly with the slap, the strikes just look horrible. And my god all of his moves start with a long looping somersault. Can't just do a diamond cutter, gotta handspring over the ropes and do a slooooow somersault before bunnyhopping up into one! It's all so hideous. Cuerno having to sell for this goof is a travesty. I'm reluctant to give him credit, but at least Killshot dies on a nasty apron sideslam, and holds his ground to take the Cuerno tope, and spikes himself on a nutty reverse rana. It should be noted, though, that every single move Cuerno did to Killshot did less harm than Vampiro's little chokeslam did to Pentagon. So much hate flowing through me right now.

PAS: Killshot did die nastily on the bumps he took, he might be fine as a Joel Goodhart style jobber who just gets murdered by guys who want to put over. Just never let him get any offense. He has to have the worst thigh slaps I have ever seen, just so obvious, it is like 60's Batman cartoon exclamations.

3. Super Fly vs. Sexy Star

ER: Just make it stop. I don't know why it's happening, I don't want to know why. Just take her off my TV. Please. It's awful.

4. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Sexy Star

ER: It's so fucking terrible. It's pointless to even waste time watching it at this point. She's going to be on TV every week, she's never going to look good, she has the magic powers to make every opponent  suddenly not able to hit his moves at full strength. It's getting so damn tiring watching everybody have to noticeably hold back on their power moves. We get it, she is so tough and her story is truly inspirational to us ALL. Except I don't get what's inspiring, and she can't be that tough if guys have to set her down on the mat afraid that she'll snap in half. Is this some sort of elaborate Make A Wish campaign? Is Sexy Star dying? Did she win a sweepstakes?

PAS: I imagine both matches went about 20 minutes live and they had to edit them down to 90 seconds each to make them look semi professional.

ER: Well this has to be the worst episode in the show's history, right? Every match featured my least favorite people in the fed, with Daivari, Sexy Star and Killshot all getting WAY TOO MUCH screen time, and all looking like people who do not deserve any sort of screen time.

PAS: This show felt like a rib.



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Lucha Underground Episode 34: Gold and Guerreros Review

1. Delavar Daivari vs. Texano

ER: These two always manage to do some of the absolute worst phone booth fighting that I've seen. Daivari especially just throws the most mournful strikes. Things get a little better with the knee work portions, as I liked Daivari's repeated dropkicks with Texano tied up in the ropes. But it's all a fairly big waste of time as Texano just brushes it off to do a bunch of moves that involve lifting with the legs. Daivari is dead in the water as a character and even worse as a worker, and Texano going over even with Ryck's interference should hopefully spell the end of him in LU.

PAS: I liked some of the chops and Texano's powerbomb but otherwise this was a big batch of nothing. This feud started out with some real promise and ended like a wet fart.

2. Hernandez vs. Drago

ER: Weird running this the week immediately following Drago's brutal beatdown from Muertes. I mean he really got the piss kicked out of him, and then he's just back to normal and getting revenge on Hernandez the next week? They tape this shit months in advance, just bump the match back a week. He certainly didn't work the match any differently than he would normally work. I'm not expecting him to do Kikuchi levels of selling long term damage, but Hernandez jumped him last week, causing him to take a nasty beating from Muertes, and here he is like nothing happened. Pretty poor. He looked really good, his tornillo was incredible, but within context this was all just dumb. Hernandez really does not hold back on him here though, with the apron powerbomb really smarting and then then cool spot with him stealing a belt from a ringside fan and whipping/choking Drago to DQ. I really dug the match in a vacuum, but within story it was foolish.

PAS: I don't have a huge problem with Drago not selling for a week like Eric, it's wrestling, you usually don't see long term weekly selling. Match itself is clearly just setting up the fans strap match, and I think they did a nice job making me want to see that. Hernandez does a nice job as a smarmy prick, and I want to see a bunch of fans strap the shit out of him

3. Marty The Moth Martinez vs. Alberto El Patron

ER: This was exactly what it should have been. Moth has got kind of a surprising amount of offense in his other matches, but really AeP needed to steamroll him here and I'm glad they let it happen. And then he follows it up with arguably his best ever promo (his promo work in LU has really been high end). I mean this was really one of the best wrestling promos you will hear. It was simple, well worded, got over his motivations perfectly, had nice little touches ("Juanito Mundo"), really just all you would want out of a pro wrestling promo. Awesome stuff.

PAS: Yeah this was an asswhooping. I am surprised they used Martinez who they seem to be pushing as the squashee rather then Vinny Massaro or Famous B, but it does make Alberto looking like a bad motherfucker that he cleaned a semi-pushed guy out that quick.

4. No DQ: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Prince Puma

ER: Well this wasn't much. Chavo looked like he hyperextended his knee pretty early in the match, then we had The Crew and Texano coming in to essentially work their own match for the next couple minutes, leading to the 630. Seemed like this could have been edited down, not sure. If the knee injury was not planned it certainly looked legit.

PAS: It was a bummer Chavo got hurt as this was building to kind of cool match, and Chavo hurting himself kind of blew any future angle with Texano. Mess of a match, and kind of weak sauce show.

ER: The closing segment with Chavo and Blue Demon was bittersweet, as I actually really really loved it. Demon actually came off like a badass, had some nice lines ("I don't attack people who are hurt...I'm not like you"), Chavo got to laugh him off and call him a has been, Demon lifted him up in the air with a choke like he was fucking Darth Vader. Loved all of this. Buuuuuuuuuuut it means that there is still a Chavo vs. Demon feud. It means Demon is still here. It means we have to see more Demon in the ring, still vs. Chavo. This promotion does a good job of getting me psyched to see things that are certainly going to be horrible.

PAS: I dug it too, it isn't setting up a Chavo v. Demon feud, it is clearly setting up Demon v. Texano as Chavo was using mind games with Demon to get him riled up, which is why Chavo was smiling. I liked Demon saying "I am a good man" like every shades of grey protagonist in a cable drama. Low Winter Sun would have been a lot more watchable if all the cops were wearing lucha masks.



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Lucha Underground Episode 30: Submit to the Master Review

PAS: Chavo is really good in these vignettes, he and Dario are by far the best actors in it, meanwhile Black Lotus is almost porn level terrible at conveying anything. I may be out on this whole Matanza thing, it doesn't appear to be leading to a wrestling match, instead just backstage movie fights, and this is starting to remind me of midgets blowing up speedboats in 1993 WCW. Dario is a better actor then Cheatum, although he might not be as good as King Curtis.

ER: I also loved Chavo and Dario in this. "Now why don't you tell me what you really want."

1. Jack Evans vs. Argenis

PAS: This had some fun Evans moments, including a couple of nifty ju-jitsu take downs and grappling, but Argenis is the dullest guy on this roster, and nothing he did here made me want to see more of him. Seems like a spot that could be used on almost anyone else in AAA. If rumors are true and he is one of the goblins with Mil Muertes I hope he can do something more interesting with that role

ER: I liked this more than Phil, and while Argenis may have zero charisma to speak of I thought his work in the match was fine. His timing was on when it came to reversing Evans' spots, he threw a real nice low dropkick and hit a nice flip dive, I even liked stuff like a flapjack into kicking Evans below the belt. I thought he and Evans played off each other well and liked how well Evans' flips led to some of his stuff getting reversed (such as the cartwheel into getting suplexed). Also dug the two caught ranas that Argenis turned into powerbombs, one in the ring and the other against the railing on the floor. That one looked nasty. I still have no idea what these Legends of the Hidden Temple medallions are going to be, but Pentagon's sure hasn't done him any favors yet.

ER: I actually loved how long the camera held on Mack/Cage when they caught each other's strikes. It was like the Weathers/Schwarzenegger handshake in Predator, only with eye contact. It was glorious. And yes, Black Lotus' line reading really is porn level as Phil stated. Her pronunciation of "Matanza" sounded like a first week ESL student trying to be sexy. BUT I liked her dozen chest shots on Chavo, although the locker door shots on The Crew looked kinda weak.

2. Son of Havok, Angelico & Ivelisse vs. Delavar Daivari, Cage & Big Ryck

PAS: Match that had some fun moments, but ultimately disappointed. Big Ryck looked great again, and is a bummer he is stuck with Daivari who is getting added to the Killshot/Sexy Star list. I thought the handoff suplex was really cool, and Cage and Ryck as a Road Warriors style killer tag team would be pretty cool, I guess if we kept him out of the ring Davari would be a fine Precious Paul. If you just made Ivelisse and Daivari seconds this would have been a better match. Finish keeps up the dishwater dull Texano v. Daivari feud.

ER: This should have been better but chose to focus more on some angles, and the match didn't get as much time as other trios matches have gotten. Ryck looked good, and I'm with Phil that a big jacked up team with Cage would be fun. The trade off vertical was awesome (and the camera wisely cuts to Ivelisse screaming during the handoff), Ryck throws a nice elbow, Cage is really good at eating Angelico's strikes (combined with Angelico's knees and roundhouse kicks looking nice), I dug Havoc's little evasive cartwheel off the top, but really this match didn't add up to much. Crowd again seemed to care far more about Ivelisse actually sitting with them instead of the match itself.

3. Submission Match: Pentagon Jr. vs. Sexy Star

PAS: Man fuck this match. This was probably even worse then their first match, as instead of Sexy getting a fluke win, Pentagon Jr. has to escape the dominant Sexy Star with the help of interference. Pentagon tried hard, but Sexy Star is bad and not credible, and no amount of smoke and mirrors can make it different. Now Pentagon is going to be stuck feuding with Vampiro who sucked in the ring when he could actually move, can't imagine how bad he will be now.

ER: Blechh. I was dreading this when it was announced last week, dreading it far more when I found out from the program guide that it was a submission match, and then just sad when it turned out to be pretty much exactly what I was dreading. Pentagon has to hold back on all of his offense, Sexy Star no sells moves more than any wrestler in the fed, Pentagon needs help to beat a woman who has been laughed off by other opponents, and Pentagon has to work overtime to make Star's weak offense look painful (he tries, but is not successful). Her one positive attribute is that she's flexible, so she can make Pentagon's cool submissions look ultra nasty. Now that also creates another problem as Pentagon's submissions DO look nasty (That one in a piledriver position while bending her ankles across each other?! AWESOME!), which makes it more absurd when she lasts through all of them, only to almost tap Pentagon with a limp single crab. Super Fly runs in and protects her with an ultra soft power bomb (pretty sure Bubba Ray didn't protect Mae Young this much), then we get a tubby Vampiro staring down Pentagon. You know, Pentagon, the ruthless killer who went after a helpless ring announcer a few weeks ago, but now suddenly doesn't immediately shit down Vampiro's neck. This fed just can't properly build a good rudo. Pentagon's heat after going after Melissa was off the charts, and it's almost as if they've purposely tried to cool him off ever since. Vampiro flips out in front of a mirror afterwards, but it looks less like Captain Willard losing his mind and more like an adult baby play acting "crazy". All of this made me sad.

PAS: What a bi-polar fed, they follow up last weeks awesome show with this turd burger. Hopefully that means next week will be good

ER: You can make an argument that last week's episode was the best in company history. At minimum it would be in the conversation. And, having made that argument, you could go on to argue that this episode was among the worst in company history. I don't read tapings results and I avoid spoilers, so maybe some of the things I'm not digging all end up rosy and cozy. I'm skeptical, though.


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Lucha Underground Episode 28: Shoots and Ladders Review

1. Marty "The Moth" Martinez vs. Prince Puma

ER: This wasn't bad. Moth has an annoying face, and his pratfalls are a bit too dramatic, but he did a good job of involving himself while Puma set up a springboard, and he threw a nice lariat, also threw some poor looking superman punches in the corner. I'm curious where they go with him as debuting him in a (non-title) match with the champ and having it worked fairly even *should* be a big deal, but I don't see his jokester persona as a main event gimmick. Konnan was good at ringside, "He wants to joke? Treat him like a joke!" but Vampiro working his "feud" with Konnan is always lame.

PAS: I like Martinez better as a unnerving creep, then a happy go lucky Colt Cabanaish dude, and that seems to be the direction they are going with him, sort of a wrestling version of Jake Gyllanhall in Nightcrawler. Nice clothesline, and I am surprised how much offense he got.

ER: Mundo was kind of a dud during the interview, but thankfully he had Vampiro there who completely made the segment. It's actually shocking how good Vamp is during this interview segments.

PAS: Yeah Vampiro is awesome as an interviewer, I am a guy who once made $100 writing a magazine article about Vampiro, he is a guy I find fascinating so I am glad he has found a role which keeps me from having to watch him wrestle.

2. Delavar Daivari vs. Texano

ER: LU has a kind of odd habit of putting bigger marquee matches into the middle segment of the show. Daivari cost Texano's team the trios titles, the two went at it last week, but here they're tossed into the middle of the show in Daivari's debut match....and they work a match with no hate, as if it were mid-show filler. Whatever heat these two had during that initial run-in is just G-O-N-E. For two guys that hate each other we start with a dull arm wringer segment and really never get that hot. There's a punch exchange that is just brutal. Texano eventually tightens up, but the first several punches from both men were just winged a foot wide. Daivari looked awesome during his debut run-in, but that is seeming like an outlier performance every time he appears. Also damn, Ryck is really getting around. He'll put out for anybody with money! Odd they turned him tecnico by having his eye get burnt out, but then just have him shack up with Daivari.

PAS: Yeah this was a stinker, this feud is probably the most disappointing in ring feud in this fed. I like Davari's gimmick, but he really should just be a manager at this point, his in ring stuff stinks.

ER: Loved the Catrina/Dario segment, and loved that Dario didn't act like a weenie; just calm, practical. "I can make that happen" as he grips his key. Really well done.

PAS: Dario as evil psycho works better then Dario as ineffectual stooge. Awesome re-intro of Chavo too, I don't know how this Matanza and Black Lotus stuff will actually turn into a wrestling match, but it has been pretty cool so far. Who is playing Dragon Azteca? It would be a cool role for a Villano or Negro Navarro if he gets in the ring.

ER: Chavo is back and this show must have gained some sort of whiskey sponsorship. Everybody on this show was constantly holding a rocks glass. Whiskey sponsorship on Dario's office would be great, and I would kill to listen to Dario insert ads for Woodford Reserve.

3. The Crew vs. Ivelisse, Angelico & Son of Havoc (Ladder Match)

ER: This was super fun and featured the absolutely most crazy wrestling spot of the year. Angelico running and doing a Crouching Tiger dropkick of Dario's office to send Castro flying off a ladder will be burned into my brain. So crazy. The camera pulling back really showed how fucking far he leaped, it looked amazing. Castro also deserves full credit for hanging in there until Angelico actually made contact. The urge to bail early must have been strong. I did a slo-mo back and forth frame by frame Zapruder film study of it. What's great about the spot is that it would have worked well if Castro had bailed early. Angelico would be hurt from the miss, Castro would be hurt on the fall. Still could have taken both men out. But Castro hung in and everything looked awesome. This should play over and over on Lucha Underground commercials. Angelico looked great throughout this, throwing some actual nice whipping punches, connecting on all his leaping knees (including a weird one where he jumps up the apron and into a ring like a praying mantis), also had a rad flip dive onto a ladder that squashes Castro underneath (while Bael escaped. Hmmmm a theme of Castro leaning into everything. Good for him). Cisco has been a top three guy in this whole fed which I wouldn't have guessed going in. His table bump was huge, his offense looks great. I'm a big Cisco fan. Ivelisse limping down the stairs was a good moment, Havoc hits a crazy asai moonsault and then catches chin on an attempted shooting star through a table....this was just plenty crazy and too much fun.

PAS: Yeah this was way better then the trio title tournament final. Mr. Cisco is so great, the bump into Dario's office followed by the crazy tope through the window, might have been my favorite spot of the match, even more then the lunatic Angelico dropkick. I also loved how vicious he was starting the match out, he just throws Havoc into the stairs and starts pounding on him. It would have been nice for the shooting star to be hit more cleanly, but otherwise the finish run was near perfect, just a great build to the big moment of Ivelise crawling up the ladder to grab the belts. This fed is really great at doing gimmick matches, which is not really something I normally like in lucha.


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**NOTE: That ladder match was easily good enough to nab a spot on our 2015 MOTY List, so I'm gonna go ahead and link to that:

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Lucha Underground Episode 26: The Best in the Business Workrate Report

ER: I liked Mundo calling him "Fernandez" and Dario casually correcting him. Still seems odd for Hernandez to be a guy instantly pushed over most guys upon debut. I know most of these things can be explained by "but Dario!!" but sometimes it just feels like a weird choice for the fed.

1. Mr. Cisco & Cortez Castro vs. Angelico & Son of Havoc

ER: Everything in this match was just...off. It seemed like every move by every wrestler *just* missed. Angelico flies over the Crew with a flip dive, Havoc whiffs completely on a split legged moonsault to the floor (taking a way more painful looking spill into the seats), most of Angelico's knees squirt off to the sides, Havoc breaks out all sorts of feather light leg sweeps, even Cisco's spill to the floor sees him going through the wrong ropes...everybody just seemed to be working on different pages. Some of the Crew's double teams looked decent, but this was arguably the worst Havoc and Angelico have looked, and it came in the same match at the same time. Poor showing. It is impressive how over Havoc has gotten, although in this match the crowd seemed mostly interested that Ivelisse was sitting with them.

PAS: I liked this better then Eric did, I thought the Crew looked really good, and had less problems with Havoc and Angelico. I really liked Angelicos kick combos, the leg sweep enzigiri was cool. Mr. Cisco is one of my favorite guys in this fed, he is such a great combo of violent and stoogeish, kind of a short hispanic Arn Anderson.

2. Delavar Daivari vs. Texano

ER: Boy any of the viciousness these guys showed during their trios altercation was out the window here. That was some bad looking brawling. Like Abyss level strikes lobbed a foot past each guy's head. Cow bell shot look decent, but man. This looked bad. I did like Melissa Santos' scrambling "oh SHIT" while Texano rushed the introductions.

PAS: Yeah this sucked, I loved the brawling during the trios match but this was some weak shit. I like the Shah of Sunset gimmick Davari is working, but this was weak shit.

3. King Cuerno & Cage vs. Prince Puma & Hernandez

ER: Hey this was amusing even though it didn't get much time. Cuerno and Cage are good at feeding Puma, Cuerno hit his big tope which we haven't seen in a bit (even if it had a pretty dumb set up since  it required Hernandez to push Puma into the tope, meaning that when Cuerno started setting up the move there wasn't anybody there to actually do the move to). Cuerno is really great at putting over Hernandez. His bumps all look super painful, and speaking of painful bumps how about Puma getting powerbombed on the apron? Yikes. Also, Vampiro needs to stop trying to feud with Konnan.

PAS: That apron powerbomb was nasty, super happy that Cuerno got his tope back. Would like to see him actually have something to do in this fed. Isn't there someone else he can hunt? Do they need to bring in Los Thundercats?

4. Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: This was fine, probably the best possible non-gimmick Mundo singles match. Vampiro really needs to stop pushing "knee injuries" in Mundo matches, as he's never going to listen. I get the temptation as Mundo took a nasty spill to the floor, his leg crashing off the wood ring steps in a loud way, even breaking through and splintering one of the steps in a great visual. I loved AdP capitalizing and immediately smashing him with a tope. AdP brings back the Finlay ring skirt spot, and it's crazy that nobody immediately stole that once he retired. Also loved the AdP arm bar after he was playing possum. Mundo actually sold that surprise armbar nicely as it continued to play into the rest of the match (even while Vampiro just kept bringing up his blown out knee. Seriously every single match Vampiro thinks Mundo's knee is just blown the fuck out.), and the match was capable. They filled the allotted time just fine.

PAS: I liked this more then Eric too, what a grump. This felt like the kind of undercard match which would steal a WWE PPV. Nothing remotely lucha about it, but a bunch of cool little additions which put it over the top. Don't know if the ring steps thing was planned, but that into the tope was an awesome bit of wrestling improv if it wasn't. Also really enjoyed the possum armbar and ring skirt spot. Patron is just killing it this year, loved all of his LU stuff and he had a stone cold classic with Roderick Strong in ROH. Totally reinvented himself, makes me think about what similarly misused WWE guys could do with a release. Is there a big time Carly Colon run waiting for us?

ER: Hopefully they explain why Katrina is back with Muertes, or what her plan was from the beginning. It's a little convoluted if we end up getting "it was her plan all along to latch onto a guy and have that guy kill Muertes....so she could then bring him BACK".


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