Found Footage Friday: KNOBBS~! SAGS~! DREW~! TAYLOR~! YAHAMA~! CHOSHU~! KIDO~!

Chief Yaqui vs. Karl Kowalski 1/30/50

MD: This is worth watching, but I suggest doing it on mute. It's a fake audience track with sound effects and Bill Stern being particularly irritating and racist. A joke a minute and none of them good (well the one about how the white man wouldn't have made it further west than Hoboken if their opposition all fought like Yaqui was pretty good). The action itself, while clipped, was pretty good! Yaqui had a thousand little tricks when it came to getting presumably crowd pleasing little shots in with both his hands and his feet. Kowalski was bald and had a greased head gimmick, maybe.

When they took it to the mat, it was pretty gnarly, actually, not that you'd tell from the commentary. They got tied up pretty bad once or twice with some fairly unique leglocks and counters. At one point, Kowalksi had him upside down after jamming a rolling leglock type move and was peppering shots into the side. The finish was Yaqui locking in a sort of deathlock and rolling with it to turn it into a bridging pin. I'd like to see either of them in literally any other setting than this, but we're beggars and not choosers when it comes to footage from 1950.

Yamaha Brothers (Kantaro Hoshino/Kotesu Yamamoto) vs. Riki Choshu/Osamu Kido NJPW 1/24/79 

MD: This has been hidden for a couple of years but it was definitely new to me. This card had Jose Estrada vs. Fujiwara and I want to see Super Medico vs. Fujiwara, but we won't dwell on that. Let's just be glad for what we have. This is about fifteen minutes, JIP, and while maybe a little formless and back and forth, the wrestling is good. Choshu and Hoshino trade armholds early, but it gets kind of wild when Yamamoto comes in and just slaps the life out of Choshu repeatedly. You sort of wish this was the Choshu of a few years later to fire back. In general, Yamamoto looks great here.

There's a moment later on where Choshu comes in hot and hits a couple of double arm suplexes in a row and looks great, but some of his other fiery stuff doesn't hit like you'd expect from him. Hoshino's a little tank, like you'd expect, high impact charges into the corner, some nice teamwork with Yamamoto, and he matches up well with Kido, as he would for years to come. At one point Kido comes in with a bunch of bodyslams and it's funny because you're expecting takedowns and what not. There were some fun moments with clear momentum shifts and parallels. Yamamoto misses a giant turn around flying body press as Hoshino fails to hold on to his opponent and gets wiped out by his own partner. The finish is a similar set up with Choshu and Kido crashing into each other off the ropes. There wasn't a bad exchange in this one, but I'm not sure it all came together to form a coherent whole.

ER: I don't believe I have seen any 70s Yamaha Brothers so I had no idea what the hierarchical dynamics would be when I started this, but I was only excited to see a match with four extremely short legged men. You couldn't find shorter legs in 1979, this was the match for that. I'm so used to Kantaro Hoshino as a junior that I forget he was more beefed up in his 30s, but even then he and Yamamoto are still clearly smaller than Choshu and Kido...so color me surprised at how much of this was dominated by the Yamaha Brothers. The idea of Hoshino dominating Choshu or even Kido just a few years later is preposterous, but this gem takes us to the point in time where the Yamahas easily and efficiently cut Choshu off from Kido for the first half, peaking with Yamamoto just rocking Choshu with punches like he was Kurisu (Kurisu wrestled Hector Guerrero on this card by the way and holy god does 1979 Hector Guerrero vs. Kurisu sound incredible). Yamamoto really comes off like a supreme badass every time he's in the ring. At one point he gets swarmed by Kido and Choshu and in mere seconds he winds up holding both of them by the jaw in headlocks, standing on the bottom buckle, threatening to remove their mandibles from their heads until Hoshino comes in and punches Choshu to the floor. The hierarchy was so damn different in 1979, which is why something like this showing up is such a treat.   

Drew McIntyre/Dave Taylor vs. Nasty Boys WWE 11/20/07

MD: Look, if you're reading this, you're reading it to see what Eric has to say. I'm reading it for what Eric has to say. I included it to see what Eric has to say, and I'm sure that'll be here soon if it's not already. Let me say just a few things. My understanding is that the Nasties lied about the shape they were in and were there to show off in front of a bunch of their buddies in the front row. Knobbs comes out and hugs a bunch of people and Sags has a long talk with one kid. They're super over. They come out to a version of their song I'm not familiar with (I know the "We're the Boys; we're the boys... the Nasty Boys" one). This had a Janet Jackson rip off to start and sampled lines from Gorilla and the Brain. Big Nasty Boys chant to start too. 

And you know what, I kind of dug the first half. They had a ton of heft behind everything they did. Drew was demonstrative and working big. He called out Sags which... I don't get why but it was kind of funny. I could have absolutely seen them have a 2 year run as sort of ambassadors and doing high school things like the Bushwhackers; they were about the same age as the Sheepherders when they signed in the late 80s and they obviously knew how to work a crowd and come off as stars. It felt almost like watching the Freebirds in 92. The back few minutes were pretty rough though. After Sags hit the craziest pumphandle slam I've ever seen (I was kind of glad to see it since I always wondered what would happen if someone took a slightly higher angle on the drop, like a powerbomb, and now I know!) he sort of just stood around for Drew to kick him for a brief, very brief, bit of heat leading to miscommunication and then casually walked over to make a hot tag. Brutal stuff. And of course the finish didn't work at all. So not a lot of gas in the tank but that's not to say there wasn't any at all. 

ER: So this dropped just a few days before we wrote about it, and I didn't watch it until last night, but all I saw written about it was how the Nasty Boys were unprofessional sacks of shit who went out there completely out of shape and took advantage of poor young greenhorn Drew McIntyre, and how Dave Taylor (in his second to last match in WWE) looked outraged on the apron and broke character to tell off the Nasty Boys. They showed up looking like complete shit to pop their weird Tampa friends and children of those friends, fucked up a young innocent boy with no Arab strap and embarrassed the business in the process. The Nasty Boys have brought shame to professional wrestling. For three days now I've been picturing how the fucked up, fat, somehow same age as me now, unprofessional Nasty Boys were going to mess this kid up like a PG version of Ian Rotten vs. Peter B. Beautiful and when I finally watch it...

It's a totally professional kind of impressive match that's far better and more interesting than at least 75% of the dark tryout matches we've ever seen. Dark tryout matches have a ceiling of quality. They are 3-6 minutes. Sometimes you reach nirvana and get Vic Grimes vs. Erin O'Grady. I saw a 2003 Psychosis tryout match against Jamie Noble and it was fine. My friends and I weren't expecting to start our night with a Psychosis match and we were all excited at the surprise and it was fine. He did the rope flip bump on the back of his head, and I still remember it 20 years later so that means It Worked. That's the ceiling for a dark trout match tryout, and this Nasty Boys tag was a good one.  

It was also a totally normal match and not a single thing looked out of sorts or unprofessional to my eyes, and honestly I came away thinking the Nasty Boys would have been worth a shot as a team working house show undercards in 2007. This was a roster that had Jim Duggan and had just had Tatanka and Road Warrior Animal. I really liked each one of those runs and thought nostalgia Legends Contracts acts would be far more interesting if used in an All Japan Old Man style division instead of [camera pans to Faarooq saying Damn]. A Legends Division (which shouldn't be titled and should just exist as a thing but they wouldn't be able to resist calling it a Legends Division) that would allow one of them to occasionally break out of the old man trios matches into a short feud with a younger wrestler would be a thing that would make me watch WWE television again. 

The Nasty Boys hadn't appeared on any kind of wrestling television in over 10 years before this match and came out with a theme song I have never heard anywhere else before that sounded like a cut up Steinski break of their original theme, and the fans in Tampa reacted. That's important. It's good to have acts on your show that get reactions, who then work for the next 5 minutes to sustain those reactions. I was made to believe that the Nasty Boys were goof off/jerk offs and instead they just got a crowd invested in a match the way Brett and Brian Major or John Morrison or The Miz 100% did not do 20 minutes later. I said I saw no moments of unprofessionalism or even sloppiness, and I mean that. Knobbs looked as fat as I've ever seen him and was wearing a XXXL Nasty Boys blouse but had several moments where I thought he was going to punish Drew and instead just worked like a good heavyweight. There was one moment where Drew was selling a shoulderblock too long and was sitting up instead of lying down for the elbowdrop Knobbs was waiting to hit, and when Knobbs shoved him back to the mat I thought for sure McIntyre was toast. Knobbs hit a big heavy elbowdrop, but it was not an unprofessional amount of weight. Have any of you actually watched the 1991-1993 Superstars and Wrestling Challenge matches? They fucked job guys up every single week. Everybody did. Toughen up, boyo. 

The toughest thing about this match was Sags lighting Drew up with chops that should have been enough to get Sags signed and put into a Mad Max team with Road Warrior Animal, because tell me a 2007 Animal/Sags team doesn't actually sound cool. Jerome Saganowich would have looked and worked so much better in a revamped Road Warriors team than Droz or Heidenreich ever did. Nasty Warriors. God that would have been great. Based on his chops and his pump handle slam I see no real differences between 2007 Jerry Sags and 1993 Kensuke Sasaki. 

Dave Taylor is the person who didn't do enough in this match. I liked the way the Nastys kept him out of the match down the stretch with punches and elbows to knock him off the apron, otherwise he just peaced out of strike exchanges that could have actually taken this match to Dark Tryout Match Nirvana. Brian Knobbs threw three unanswered punches to the side of Taylor's head and it was the perfect opportunity to show Knobbs what the locker room thought of him with a pair of uppercuts, but Taylor just took a hiptoss and stood on the apron the rest of the time. Drew showed good timing in feeding for a returning nostalgia act in what was actually the longest stretch of time he was in the ring in any of his WWF matches to that point. Drew was trusted to stay in the ring for an extra minute or two with two guys making a 10 year return, and he did great. His visual reaction to a hot tag is one of the little things he did that you could tell he was going to keep getting better. 

The finish was botched but was a split second from being a direct hit Beverly Brothers Wrestling Challenge intro exclamation point. Drew would have suffered a head injury and been given a role as the slow third member of The Highlanders. The Nasty Boys should have been signed. In 2007 would you have rather seen the Nasty Boys every few weeks, or Deuce & Domino? You know the answer. Have Cherry manage the obese Nasty Boys and give her a Lisa Langois Class of 1984 punk look instead. This was better than both Morishima dark matches and it wasn't close. 

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WWF Superstars 2/27/93: Three Maulings and an Under 5 Minute Classic

1. Yokozuna vs. Brian West

ER: This started with Brian West getting run right fucking over with one of Yokozuna's greatest clotheslines, and things didn't get any better for him. Yokozuna had two minutes to look like an unstoppable physical force, and he did it without breaking a sweat. He looked amazing in his white tights and black mawashi, and Brian West looked disgusting in his inverted singlet. West gets his ass kicked pillar to post while wearing a singlet where the straps go on the inside of the nipples. You never want to be out there in a dickey singlet top while a 500 pound man is throwing punches and headbutts at you. When the coroner is having your family identify the body, you don't want to be wearing something as stupid as Brian West. Yokozuna's legdrop is a thing of all time wrestling beauty: the form, the impact, the way he rolls off, the impressive safety of it all. He throws West with his belly to belly and sets up the banzai splash perfectly, running into West with another clothesline that drops him on his back, right into position. This was Yokozuna working with Terminator efficiency. Imagine a 500 pound Terminator chasing a kid through an arcade. Different ballgame. 

2. Nasty Boys vs. Mark Ming/Jim Gorman

ER: You always see people talk about the bad luck of showing up to your job duty and finding out you were opposite the Steiners, and that's valid. But the Nasty Boys are right there with them for most unfortunate gig worker opponent. Sometimes Knobbs and Sags show up with a literal lip licking intensity and desire to beat a couple guys up. It usually isn't unprofessional, and this match wasn't either. But there are levels of "professional" and a lot of them don't include elbowing a guy in the eye socket to start a Saturday morning. Maybe Mark Ming is a master salesman. There are several examples of Mark Ming doing weekend job work and maybe it would be worthwhile to examine his selling in those matches. So maybe Knobbs pulled his shot and Ming's selling is just so good that he slumped into the middle rope looking like a man who suddenly feared for his safety and was not expecting to be hit in the eyeball on this day. 

Knobbs looks so excited to beat Mark Ming's ass that he really had one of his best back alley ass kicking performances here, just a couple months before the Nasties' WWF exit. There are a lot of guys on this 1993 roster who are really busting their asses and wreaking hell on jobbers before the major spring roster transition. I love when the Nasty Boys throw out all civility and just fall on guys. Knobbs and Sags each do elbowdrops in this match that are real asshole older brother elbowdrops. They are big guys who just flop full weight onto other guys, leaping off one bed and onto the other with no regard for their younger brother or their bed frames. Sags hits an elbowdrop off the top so crushing that I would have rather had a couch thrown onto me. There's a shot of Knobbs standing on the apron at one point, leaning forward on his tippy toes over the top rope, wide eyed in almost childlike glee, licking his lips while Sags beat some dude's ass, and that shot kind of sums up the Nasty Boys. What's the proper term for an occasionally annoying asshole? Ask Rob Dibble or Norm Charlton. 

3. Doink vs. Big Boss Man

ER: This match is insane. It's Boss Man's last taped match of this WWF run, and it's a generous performance that helped Doink look like a very real threat. There's an alternate timeline 1993 where Vince doesn't panic after Hogan's long-forecast exit, and held steady through the year with Bret/Crush/Tatanka/Perfect/Duggan as the top babyfaces, and Yokozuna/Luger/Doink/Bigelow/Razor as the top heels, and every single person would have been better for it. Crush's feud with Doink killed his potential big run, but that's on WWF for unnecessarily keeping both men mired in it for half the year. If Luger stays heel, Crush slams Yokozuna, and Doink continues working amateur shootstyle matwork against guys 100 pounds heavier than he, THEN you have a promotion with a thriving summer. Heel Doink was an incredible role that Matt Borne played to perfection. People fondly remember the series with Mr. Perfect, the PPV gem against Bret, and weekend gems like his technical sprint with Bob Backlund, but I think this match against Boss Man was Borne at his aggressive bulldog matwork best. It being Boss Man's last WWF TV match for 5 years, and how dominant Doink was at the front end, looked like they were destroying Boss Man at his going away party. But the comeback came and showcased how at his best Boss Man was always just Dustin Rhodes, if Dustin was carrying an extra 100 pounds. I mean I don't remember Black Reign being anywhere near as good as Boss Man, but in theory.

Doink hits Boss Man upside the head with a cardboard box, which we are lead to believe was loaded, but either way Boss Man sells a box across the head as if someone cheap-shotted him with a pipe. It was almost shocking how dominant Doink was, but after a win over Tugboat and his mauling of Boss Man, this was the time to show how Doink could dismantle an opponent of any size. As I said up top, this match is insane. You don't often get to see a guy dressed up like a Spirit Store policeman working shootstyle amateur matwork with a clown, so this match had a deranged "technical street fight breaks out at a southern states Halloween party" feel to it. Doink twisted Boss Man's neck into a neckbreaker and dragged him to the mat with a drop toehold, then worked his legs into a fought for STF. It's so surreal watching a man in slightly rubbed off clown makeup work snug hammerlocks and half nelson grapevines against a man as large as Boss Man, and there's a moment where Doink traps Boss Man's arm and shoot turns him into a pin like he was Jack Brisco. Doink even plants him with a high back suplex and a tremendous fireman's carry takedown into an armbar! Doink completely eliminated the size difference while in control, making it look like Boss Man couldn't break these holds or stop these takedowns even if he knew they were coming. 

But Boss Man's comeback is believable and loudly received, as he press slams Doink off the top and goes on a real tear. I love when Boss builds speed and hits the ropes harder and harder, pushing the pace and throwing punches the entire time. He thunders into Doink with a corner clothesline and throws heavy corner punches, short uppercuts under the chin, a big boot, and slides to the floor with an uppercut after using his weight to see if he could break the ropes with Doink draped over them. Does the Georgia lawman get green spray paint sprayed into his eyes at the finish? Yes, but this was a fucking fight and it deserved to end dirty. 1993 Boss Man still had so much left in the tank. In his last couple weeks under contract he worked house show singles matches against Flair and Lawler, which I wish we had. We left a lot of fun potential Boss Man matches on the table that year, but in exchange we got the All Japan run that was probably the biggest gift his career gave us. Watch this match immediately.

4. The Narcissist Lex Luger vs. Jim Powers

ER: Luger and Powers matched up several times in short WCW singles matches a few years after this, Luger a major babyface and Powers with 40 extra pounds of muscle. Their March 1997 WCW match was their best competitive match, an entertaining babyface vs. babyface match. This one is a totally different dynamic obviously, with Luger as a freshly debuted top heel and Powers a babyface who was mostly working house shows. Powers looked like early career Rick Martel here, and four years later he looked like an American Gladiator.  Luger's work as the Narcissist was far and away the best work he ever did in WWF. His offense never looked better, his timing was better utilized, and it was a much more natural fit. He looked more at home taking apart Jimmy Powers in 90 seconds than he did in any 90 seconds of his All American Lex run. Powers was given some good offense in their 1997 encounters, but in 1993 it was all Luger, and he had a tight 90 seconds of material. 

I loved how they started this with Luger flipping out over Powers stealing a pose in his trifold mirror, blindsiding him with an awesome lariat and never letting up. He beats Powers up, and Luger is cool when he's smugly beating people up. He throws Powers chest first into the turnbuckles and lifts him high up for a back suplex, and the bionic forearm he hits would look like one of the sickest match finishers of 2022. Whoever was in production realized this, and we got to see that elbow from several different angles. Luger got up a real head of steam to hit the killshot, and it's a moved that looks as good in real time as it does in slo motion. The best slo mo replay showed Luger holding that elbow in tight to his body, fist to ear, Powers bumping it at the last possible split second. We got robbed of a two year Narcissist run, for nothing. Doctors get in the ring to attend to Powers after the match, Powers selling like he was knocked cold. They could have had Luger murdering men like this all year and built to a huge Bret/Luger title match at Summerslam. What might have been. 

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WCW World War 3 11/24/96

From beautiful (?) Norfolk, Virginia, in front of over 10,000 wrestling fans looking at three large gleaming wrestling rings set up like the Tri-Force, comes the only PPV appearances of Roadblock and Tony Rumble. Who wouldn't want to watch this!? I've never seen it. Let's ride.

1. Rey Misterio Jr. vs. The Ultimate Dragon

ER: This was wild. Ultimo (I'm going to call him Ultimo, but used their weird Ultimate spelling above since they had it in their graphic) took like 85% of this match and won the thing about as definitively as someone could win a match. I guess I had forgotten that Rey became a big star, but they were still pushing Ultimo as a clearly bigger star. Dragon broke out every single piece of offense he knew and it all looked great. This whole thing is just a straight run of bigger and bigger moves. His leg kick combos looked crisp and looked really good for a guy who prides himself on not working stiff. His bodyslams looked Finlay stiff, so that was an awesome surprise. Soon he was building up to big backbreakers, a great tombstone piledriver, a piledriver on the floor, a powerbomb, a RUNNING powerbomb, vicious brainbuster...I mean it was a crazy one-sided beating and Misterio is really great at taking a one sided beating. The crowd gets almost uncomfortable watching Dragon just wreck Rey over and over.

Heenan: "Misterio has landed on the back of his head at least 15 times in this match!"

He's not wrong. Rey finally makes a little run by getting a boot up in the corner, but he overshoots an ambitious two rope split legged moonsault. Even Dusty has to point out on commentary that Misterio got like none of it. Rey has a couple nice rana roll ups, but it just makes more want to see more of Ultimo's awesome video game offense. And boy do I ever get my wish. Rey goes for a huge springboard rana, but Ultimo catches it, bounces him off the top rope, and then absolutely PLANTS Rey with a sitout powerbomb. It finishes the match, and looked like something that should have DEFINITELY finished the match.

2. Nick Patrick vs. Chris Jericho

ER: Goddamn this match rules. This makes me so pissed that we didn't get a run of Nick Patrick as a worker during this era WCW. He's like a god tier Danny McBride character in this match, just a magnificent stooge who genuinely looked like a better worker here than half of the active roster (and WCW had an impressive as hell roster). This match is brilliant. Jericho has one arm tied behind his back, and they work a fantastic match not only based around Jericho with one good arm, but Patrick doing mean offense to a guy with one arm while also convincingly taking a beating from that same man. Both guys' offense looks really good in this, Jericho pulling out a really impressive performance with use of only one arm, breaking out with a cool kick combo, a big leaping shoulderblock, actually some pretty impressive stuff with your body balance thrown off. But Nick Patrick is a real marvel here. He works like a great Memphis worker, throwing nice submarine angle uppercut right hands and fast excellently worked left jabs. He has as many doofus stooge faces as John Tatum, and any wrestler who tips the Tatum Scales for me is going to immediately be a guy who I champion. Patrick is not only a great bumper, he's able to take great bumps while conveying a guy who isn't someone who should be taking bumps.

I remember seeing an interview with Martin Landau about his wonderful performance in Ed Wood, where he talked about how seriously he took the role of Bela Lugosi; how he thought Lugosi was a true legend who he wanted to honor, so much that he thought out each aspect of the character in detailed fashion. And he talked about the crazy method depths he went to properly capture Bela, down to the fact that he didn't just want to do an accurate Romanian accent, he wanted to do an accent of a Romanian man who was insecure about his accent negatively affecting his career. Nick Patrick seems to understand his role in this match as well as Landau knew what tone to use to play Lugosi. Nick Patrick brawled like Windham and stooged like Tatum, and that's something I'm going to be impressed as hell by. Patrick uses the setting really well, brawling to the floor, hitting a cool ring post bump into a ring post joining two rings, setting up a spot where Jericho missed a punch and decked the ring post (Jericho played into all these transition spots GREAT), Patrick found cool ways to take this match into a couple rings and show off to several sides of the arena. That's an AMAZING skill. Patrick throws a ton of great punches throughout, great quick jabs, and then to show you how much of a rebel badass he is Nick Patrick does the Curt Hennig rolling neck snap! Patrick even takes a back drop bump, with Jericho setting it up impressively for a guy with one arm. This match was an absolute blast, I can't believe it isn't some kind of cult favorite. It's really great. Patrick is a legend and there's no sign that he'd even worked a match in the prior decade, and then he turns in this incredible performance?? I would have this super high on a 1996 MOTY List, as ridiculous as that sounds. Not just a superior gimmick match, but a superior pro wrestling match.

3. Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett

ER: This was pretty great, a cool bout derailed by a Crow Sting appearance that should have pissed off Jarrett and Giant. This match felt like a cool Coliseum Video hidden gem, like a cool Doink vs. Giant Gonzalez match that you've never heard anyone talk about. Giant was really quick and had different movement than when he was older and slower, so it was cool to see him throw a hard lariat with a lot more lunge. Jarrett bumped nice for him but also made sure his own shots looked good, and I like seeing the kind of shots in David/Goliath matches where the smaller guy jumps up for corner 10 count punches but gets shoved off, bumping backwards, and these two do a great version of that. Sting comes out and walks around the rafters, and Jarrett and Giant have to continue showing interest while literally the entire crowd is now watching Sting. But these two are good soldiers and this is a fun professional well worked match. Giant takes a big bump to the floor, and misses a big elbow drop off the middle buckle. He hits a hard bodyslam and this whole show can do no wrong.

We got a really great Hogan/Piper contract signing, genuinely up there with the great contract signings of all time, and I'm someone who really likes a good contract signing. The whole nWo is out there surrounding Piper, Hogan, Nash, Hall, Bischoff, Giant, all closing in as Piper talks tall. Hogan is really mean on the mic, some of his best mic work I've heard from this era. He keeps needling Piper about his hip, makes Piper lift up his kilt to show his hip surgery scar, says "I normally don't beat up cripples, but I can't wait to beat up a gimp!" Holy shit, that's pretty cruel. Piper getting jumped and doing his best to fight back while going down was great, and him staggering back to his feet before the nWo had completely left was a strong visual. I'd never really heard about this segment (and wasn't watching wrestling when this originally aired) but this should be talked about as one of the best examples of building interest in a match with a hot contract signing. I really want to watch Starrcade 96 right now.

4. Amazing French Canadians vs. Harlem Heat

ER: Guess what, this also ruled. This felt like an ECW house show tag, 4 big guys hitting hard and bumping hard, building to some awesome highspots. Rougeau was a great bumper in tags like this, really made Harlem Heat look like stars. Booker misses a high sidekick and catches the top rope, and the Canadians take control and the match keeps getting more fun. We build to this insane spot where the Canadians stack up a table across the ring corner, then put the RING STEPS on top of that table, and then already-insane-in-1996 PCO climbs to the top buckle and to the top of the ring steps, and MISSES the biggest cannonball ever attempted. This would have actually murdered Stevie Ray if he didn't get out of the way. I watched his ROH match from Mania weekend the day before I watched this and in that he gets powerbombed from the ring down to the floor - nobody catching him, just literally a powerbomb to the floor - and miss a cannonball from the top to the ring apron. This guy really is genuinely crazy, it's been happening for at least 23 years and at a certain point it can't be a work. PCO is nuts. Booker throws a ton of cherries on this delicious sundae with a vicious Harlem Hangover, that leg whipping perfectly and safely across PCO's jaw. Great 10 minute banger, best PPV ever so far.

We get a brief brawl between Col. Parker and Sherri Martel as part of the tag match stipulation, and it's freaking great. Sherri jumps him and the fans get way into it. Parker takes a huge bump over the top to the floor and Dusty is losing his shit the entire time, going absolutely bonkers. Sherri hits a couple flying clotheslines and a big crossbody off the top and the entire crowd is standing when she hits that crossbody. This is the perfect way to do a manager brawl, and I even wish we got a longer version of it.

5. Psychosis vs. Dean Malenko

ER: Goddamn this PPV absolutely smokes. This is a tough match with both guys staying tight and grounded, relying on some nice strikes and building to a couple big bumps, working a lot of more BattlArts style submission sections. The crowd is silent as hell which is a shame, they've been so hot for everything else and maybe they were already burned out? The PPV has been nothing but great matches and great promos. It's such a fun match to be quiet during, and they seem like a crowd who would be into their thing. Psychosis does his rope flip bump but lands on his feet instead of head, and turns it into a cool spinkick comeback; it's like he used that bump the same way you see a rebound lariat and it was cool. Psychosis does make up for the missing "crazy bump" quota and take a nutso leap to nothing off the top, catching his face on the guardrail. It's one of those dangerous Psychosis bumps where you can't tell if he botched something, or if he's an all timer and missed that ugly on purpose (I think it was the latter). Dusty excitedly says "We in the midst of it" and it sounds cool and he's absolutely right. This whole thing had a cool WCW BattlArts vibe, cool subs and matwork with some flashy quick armdrag variations and some nice strikes, something that I might not have known how to process when this originally aired. Maybe that's why the crowd was so quiet. I seem to remember the general opinion being that these two were a disappointing "mainstay" cruiserweight match-up in WCW, but maybe that was just a stupid guy's opinion that got amplified too loud? Because this match ruled.

6. The Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear vs. The Nasty Boys

ER: Shit this PPV really does feel like the total embodiment of Where the Big Boys Play. This PPV has had a ton of big dudes running into each other. This match is filled with a cool mixture of stiff motherfucker and sneaky motherfucker, and that's a combination you don't often get from a big time professional wrestling company. This is more like a three way race on Scooby's Laff-A-Lympics, and Laff-A-Lympics as Wrestling is something I want right this very second. FoF and Nasty Boys especially kick the shit out of each other, mean knees to the face, chops to the neck, full force collisions; at one point Meng clotheslines Knobbs so hard that you wonder why you ever watch anything that isn't pro wrestling. Outsiders do an amusing job of staying out of this while the other two teams beat bruises into each other, clapping from the apron at the men performing for them. BUT then they get tagged in and Hall is throwing a nice right hand one moment, but then being choked and thrown violently into the corner by Barbarian. This is a legendary big boys battle and nobody is talking about it! I've heard absolutely no opinions on this show and it's fucking incredible. Barbarian slams into Hall with an avalanche that is not so much an avalanche as it is just Barbarian running full speed into Hall. We get an incredible moment of various guys leaping at and attacking guys on the apron, the whole thing feels messy and violent in the best ways. I think every guy in this match misses an elbow drop that they don't actually expect to me a missed elbow drop. Like there is honestly a match-long prank war to see who can make someone miss an elbow more painfully. There are multiple piledrivers, Jimmy Hart is wearing his Misfits jacket with fucking skulls on the shoulders, this whole thing rules. It's a long match, too, over 15 minutes, and it completely rules. I am so in the bag for this show. My god.

7. WORLD WAR 3!!!

ER: These things were terrible, right? I have a very large TV, and when they cut to three separate screens you officially can barely see a thing. I would wager most 1996 viewers were watching this, somehow, on a TV at least half the size of my 2019 TV. This is a 60 person nude beach fuckfest filmed by a guy hiding a half mile away in the bushes. It's the kind of thing that would actually be better if it was just fullscreen and they just switched cameras a ton. It's a damn shame really, you hate to see it, because you can't see it. Because from every minuscule camera shot this whole match REALLLY looked like it ruled. First, it's freaking weird. The entrance might be the best part as 60 different WCW guys just walk out single file and the order is almost completely unplanned, just an endless parade of guys that you mostly know. The whole thing had great energy, you just couldn't see 90% of it at any given time. 

We start with Benoit jumping Sullivan on the floor and brawling through the crowd (with Konnan and Ray Traylor?), Tony Rumble is not only in this match for reasons that wouldn't make any sense to me or anybody, but he's also the first eliminated and Dusty yells out on commentary "Tony Rumble IS GONE!" From there we get flashes of brilliance when we can actually see any of what's going on. Villano IV punches the hell out of Jarrett, Parka punches people, a ton of eliminations look fantastic (Dave Taylor flies wildly off an Alex Wright dropkick, Road Block - in his only PPV appearance - eats a huge clothesline, we get a spot where 8 different guys do running corner attacks on Ron Studd and then DOGPILE him in the ring!), and the final 10 is a fantastic collection of the nWo vs. DDP, Regal, Luger, and Rey. It's so damn good. 

Once they get back to fullscreen and run through all the nWo vs. WCW, it really shows how hot of a battle royal this appeared to be. Regal tricks DDP into charging him and DDP flies to the floor, it takes Hall, Nash, and Syxx to eliminate Regal and he fights the whole way, and while the Giant win was exciting it really should have been Luger. The EASY MVP of the match was Regal. Every single time he popped into camera he looked like a megastar, and he was by far the greatest part of that final 8. Regal was an incredible fighting babyface here, and he stood out more than anybody throughout the entire match; from lacing into Riggs early on to walking tall right up to his elimination, this is an underrated great Regal performance.

ER: Wow, what a PPV. This is honestly one of the best PPVs I've ever watched. This needs to be discussed more. I need to do a podcast where I have a new guest on and we just watch and talk about World War 3 1996. New week, new guest, same PPV.

World War 3 and Me.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Pro 6/22/96

Billy Kidman vs. Jushin Liger

ER: Weird little match that I did not remember happening. Does anyone remember heel Liger working a mini run on the WCW D show? This is short but plenty of fun, Kidman was a good guy to get beat around, and Liger had no issue beating Kidman around. We get some slippery wristlock roll throughs to start, but Liger tires of that pretty quickly and lands a handspring elbow and drops him with a great brainbuster. It is kind of odd that he worked the brainbuster into the match so early, as he ends up winning the match with a superplex/bodyslam/top rope splash, which all looked tough but that brainbuster is a thing of beauty. He also hits that fantastic rolling kick into the buckles. Perhaps the oddest thing about the match is right smack in the middle of it, Kidman hits one of the best shooting star presses he's ever hit. It was short, quick to the mat, and landed really nicely right across Liger's chest. The fans went nuts, right when it was hit, Liger kicked out at 2. I didn't realize a shooting star press (done against Liger!) in 1996 was a kicked out of move in the states, or anywhere. Also odd that Liger immediately went back on offense right after such an awesome move. So the structure and layout was all over the place, but the match itself was really fun, which is basically what I watch these shows for.

Disco Inferno vs. Johnny Boone

ER: I love when Boone shows up, he's a big bumping jobber and he usually looks like a slightly cleaner cut Jamie Dundee. That has never been more true than in this match. He's wearing turquoise tights/singlet top, and the tights have purple and pink tassels. He has the same kind of shaved sides short mullet, but no dirty mustache, instead the beginnings of an IT guy goatee. Boone is a great guy to have on a roster though, he'll take a Hot Shot painfully, he'll throw a dropkick that's one of those great Memphis dropkicks, like Lawler's, and he'll hold a schoolboy tight. I should think of a different way to phrase that last part, so that SVU crimes bots don't find this site and begin tracking down me AND Boone. So let me explain that when Johnny Boone really holds a schoolboy tightly, what I mean is that he holds that schoolboy so deep and tightly that it's very difficult to escape or kick free. Fixed it.

Steve Armstrong vs. V.K. Wallstreet

ER: "Let me talk to you about Mutual Bonds, Steve Armstrong." There's nothing that confuses these Florida tourists more than one of those stock market tycoons. Wall Street was in theaters so many years before this match. Armstrong is really great here. He's the same size as Wallstreet and works like it, which is a nice twist on a jobber match. Armstrong holds a snug headlock, takes a big bump through the ropes and that hard stage, big flipping bump on the low knee. Steve Armstrong is also a man who holds schoolboys tightly. This match is fantastic because Wallstreet does all his most bullshit bullshit, holds an abdominal stretch in the ropes at weird time, holds a couple of nice chinlocks, but the fans respond in a HUGE way! ALLLL of Wallstreet's stuff gets the crowd absolutely rabid for Armstrong, which is wonderful. The fans are going crazy for an Armstrong sunset flip and a roll up, and is going nuts when Wallstreet eats boot in that stupid spot where a guy is apparently going for an axe handle to a lying down opponent. Armstrong even hits a great stiff arm southpaw lariat for a nearfall. But Wallstreet quickly ends the fun and just hits a big samoan drop for the win. Fired up fans for heavyweight Steve Armstrong? Yes please. Match ruled for that.

Nasty Boys vs. Public Enemy

ER: Did the Public Enemy live in the studio where they taped Pro? I swear these guys never leave, they just haunt MGM Studios in Orlando. And this is babyface Nasty Boys, which is weird but it's kind great to see them coming out and slapping hands with fans. Sags is even chatting with fans in the front row. He totally makes this chubby white kid's day, leans in and asks him "how are you doing buddy?" while rustling the kid's cap (white shirt with a white baseball cap, like he had been out whitewashing fences earlier that day) and the kid excitedly yells "ALRIGHT!" This kid's eyes were beaming, totally made his vacation. The match itself wasn't great. It's weird seeing Sags as a face in peril, with Rocco working wristlocks on him. It gets plenty of time and it wasn't awful, but it PE weren't very interesting on heel offense, you get clumsy moments like Knobbs not really rolling out of the way of a Drive By, but everybody acted like he was. Plus, if you're watching a Nasty Boys match you kind of just want to see them be unprofessional. I don't want a very sympathetic Nasties team. They're from Nastyville. The breakdown was pretty good, with Knobbs finally in and throwing a big lariat to both PE. But the out of the ring stuff that ended the match was great, with both teams brawling to a double DQ, and Knobbs getting hiptossed off the apron through a table, but instead bounces off and over the table, onto the stage, and down the two steps of the stage to the floor. Knobbs hits like 5 hard surfaces on his way down, then got up punching. So we ended as strongly as possible.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE WCW B-SIDES

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Big Time Wrestling TV 8/26/16

I like the simple black polo shirts on Dragon Dave and Hank Renner Jr., comes off way less gimmicky than their previous tuxedo/plaid blazer/fedora. Man I hated that hat (and the too large striped shirt under the plaid blazer). The simple black polos with BTW's logo on them are a nice, classic touch.

1. Kikyo Nakamura vs. Dementia D'Rose (7/15/16)

This was from their very recent Dangerous Damsels show, an 8 woman tournament, and I'm really really happy they're showing matches from it. There were several match-ups I was excited to see (sadly I missed last week's TV and I think they showed other first round matches from this show). Good for BTW to be so up to date on their programming. I was excited for this one as I like Kikyo and have never seen D'Rose before, and overall I think this worked. Both are similar size but I was still surprised to see Kikyo work from underneath. I'm used to her being a kind of monster, but I think she works really well as a FIP. It's just not usually appropriate in her matches. She has great underdog babyface facials, and I dug Dementia's bombs away and especially dug her camel clutch; she really wrenched it in and Kikyo sold it great. D'Rose doesn't do Kikyo a ton of favors on her comeback, as she wasn't really expecting what appeared to be a Thesz press, but Kikyo saves it by muscling it into a kind of back leg trip takedown, and followed up with nice mounted punches. D'Rose does lean into Kikyo's yakuza kick, and Kikyo always throws a nice one. I was disappointed with the finish even though it was executed well, with D'Rose biting Kikyo's arm unexpectedly and then rolling her up with a tights grab. Kikyo sold the bite as well as someone reasonably could, and the roll up was a nice high roll up that looked tough to get out of. So it was executed nicely, but I was hoping for a little more throw down for a finish.

2. Brittany Wonder vs. Raze (7/15/16)

Fun match, I like both women and I imagine Raze is a favorite to win this whole tourney. Wonder is really fun and always tries new things. Sometimes those things don't work, but she's ambitious and has a certain charisma. I like all her butt based offense (though a normal butt bump would probably work better than a handspring version), she takes big bumps and works a fun sort of relentless, pesty style. I like Raze as a bully, and how every time she can slow down or catch Wonder then bad things happen. Wonder hits a top rope splash, tope (that Raze kinda saves her on), also throws a nice yakuza kick, bullies Raze into the ring announcer and time keeper, and Raze occasionally launches her with great throws. Raze played her part nicely, giving Wonder plenty of nice moments to shine, taking a big bump over the top to the floor, and Wonder paid her back by getting dumped a couple times on suplexes. The match ending head and arm suplex was a fitting finish, with Raze really snapping her over.

3. The Nasty Boys vs. Dustin Ardine & Vinny Poochanelli (5/21/11)

Amusing Nasty Boys steamroll. I have no clue who Ardine or Poochanelli are, but their job was to run into things the Nasties were doing, and they did that well. Ardine is kind of a loon as he lets Sags give him a powerbomb on the floor, just a straight up powerbomb on concrete. Thankfully the camera picked it up as it was *ahem* nasty. Poochanelli gets bodyslammed by Knobbs on the floor, some chairshots are thrown (at least Sags takes a couple shots), but yeah if you were hoping for any kind of offense from non Nasty Boys, you'd be leaving the match disappointed. The powerbomb was nuts, and there was another super fun spot with Sags dumping Poochanelli into a rolling trash can, and then wheeling him straight into a stiff Knobbs back elbow. I was hoping for some classic Knobbs unprofessionalism, but he seemed totally on the level.


Another fun episode, real tightly run as always. The camera work is something I don't think I've ever complimented them on but their work on their shows is very good. They have a satisfying way of filming matches and changing angles, not just showing stuff from a hard cam. It's an overall good production.

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Worldwide 9/15/96

I'm currently on a train from San Diego on up to LA to visit my buddy Will and go to an Angels/Dodgers game. It's a 3 hour train ride, and I figure what better way to tell everybody on the train "don't talk to this loser for 3 hours" than put on 18 year old wrestling with all the gassed bodies, mullets, and neon singlets that 1996 still contained. I snuck on train liquor, I got grapz on the laptop (grapz on lapz!) and I'm set.

1. Jim Powers & Renegade vs. Harlem Heat

Haven't done one of these in awhile and boy did I pick a winner to jump back in on. And you know I talk shit about these guys (for 100% deserved reasons) but this was probably better than it had any right to be. I mean, it wasn't great, but you look at those 4 names and…woof. Harlem Heat has been maybe my least favorite thing about this project, as they're both awful, sloppy, horrible long match workers. But this was probably the Heat match I've enjoyed most from the era so far. When they're in there with a more work rate team it's just always sloppy and awful and ugly looking. But here they are with a couple gassed guys trying to be athletic and it's pretty fun. Really Renegade and Powers don't seem much worse than Heat here, pretty even working level. Powers - despite his ghastly 0.5 Abyss punches - was kinda fun; had a nice go behind, stomped Booker in the face at one point, worked an arm wringer alright. Renegade looked awful but bless him for trying. He tried a sort of slingshot dropkick at one point and kinda landed one foot and almost buckled on the other..but shit it's Renegade trying to do some shit. Good for him. His body press earlier was decent enough. Booker hits a wild standing spin kick that looked cool, and match ended with a potentially grisly double powerbomb where the timing was all off and Renegade almost gets spiked. Harlem Heat: We'll almost dump you on your head at least once in a 5 minute match!

2. V.K. Wallstreet vs. Ice Train

Woman across the aisle from me has a Powerpuff Girls text alert song, the song by Apples in Stereo, and it goes off every fucking time she gets a text. Which is like every minute. I like Apples in Stereo. I do not like this trend  though. Mute yer phone! I'm watching my trash on headphones, because I'm courteous like that. She also has a shirt that says "I woke up looking this good" which is really only a shirt that can be properly worn by really fat men who are comfortable in their skin. If you have even a tiny amount of good looks in you, this shirt will make you look like a real asshole. And worse, if you're like this woman, you don't want to risk the shirt sounding 100% believable. Somebody wears a shirt that says "I woke up looking this good", and my reaction is "Yeah. That probably checks out," and that can't be the reaction they wanted. Anyway, holy shit Ice Train both looked awful in this, AND won the match in 90 seconds. Was not expecting that. Wallstreet gets a clothesline, rest of the match is all Ice Train. Was not expecting a finish this soon as Ice Train doesn't do any cool squash match offense. He does a body slam, knocks VK's head into the turnbuckles a few times, Irish whips him into the turnbuckles…and then pins him with a standing splash. Huh.

Awwww yeah a commercial for Last Man Standing! That movie was pretty awful but totally enjoyed by me. Fun Bruce Dern role, fun William Sanderson role, Christopher Walken as a villain which is always great. Total piece of garbage, but I'll watch Walter Hill's garbage before almost any other director's garbage. Love that guy's vision, whatever it is.

3. Pat Tanaka vs. Rey Misterio Jr.

Goldberg's music hits and the one the only Pat Tanaka comes strolling out in his kung fu jacket. Boy that's weird. I would've loved to see this get some time, but it goes 2:15. Great. Tanaka is working a weird Kung Fu master, lots of odd tai chi poses and karate strikes. It's amusing so I get the guy trying to find a gimmick for himself. Why not? Rey is a little sloppy with some of his stuff, he kinda whiffs on a headscissors that Tanaka has to bump anyway. But this era Rey is always super watchable due to his bumps. Here he gets planted with a powerbomb off a rana attempt and does a great flip bump on a clothesline. Heenan is pretty smart on commentary saying that in the future guys will try and imitate Rey, but nobody will be as good at it.

We get a commercial for Levis wide leg jeans. "You can live your life however you want. I'm gonna live mine WIDE." Catch that wide leg fever.

4. John Tenta vs. Konan

Weird little match with Tenta taking 90% of it. Tenta had his ridiculous half shaved skullet at this point, which really seems like the next look someone like Skrillex will have (maybe without Tenta's cop mustache though). Konnan is usually pretty selfish in his matches, making all his opponents work within his sequences, but Tenta takes this whole thing. I wish he looked better as I'm a Tenta fan, but he didn't look great. He didn't look bad, still throwing a great elbow, nice legdrop and a nice powerslam. But he also had a lot of less than devastating stomach kicks and an ugly missed splash. Konna wins with a somersault senton off the middle rope to a standing Tenta. Never seen Konnan pull that one out before.

5. Hugh Morrus & MAXX vs. Nasty Boys

Wasn't expecting much from this, but whatever it was, was okay. Nasty Boys both made a point to stiff Maxx (ne Muscle) for the whole match, every time he was in. Knobbs threw a bunch of nasty punches  to the side of Maxx's head, and Sags did the same. Maxx does his part by not shying away from them, so that's kinda neat. Hugh Morrus is junk, but he hit his moonsault pretty flush here and mostly stayed out of the way. Knobbs took a nice bump after getting posted by Maxx on the floor. So much like our opening tag, 4 guys I'd rather not watch a bunch, putting forth pretty decent stuff. I'm okay with this.

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Worldwide 4/9/95

1. Alex Wright vs. Mark Starr

Well this was one damn fine 3 minutes of wrestling right here. Crowd is way into Alex Wright and Mark Starr is a guy who is good at adapting to just about any style. It's crazy to think that Wright is just 19 here. When I was 19 I was working on beating Ocarina of Time for the 3rd time (this time I'm gonna find ALL the heart pieces!). Wright leans way into a stiff shoulderblock by Starr and Starr returns the favor by leaning chin first into a dropkick. Starr dishes a couple cool elbow varieties in the corner and dumps Wright with a back suplex and nice neck breaker and suddenly I realize this is the most offense I've ever seen Starr do in WCW. Starr is really good at getting into position for Wright's kicks,  charging out of the corner and swinging low on a missed clothesline and turning around to catch a heel kick to the chin.

Awesome interview segment with Macho Man and Sting goofing around with Mean Gene on a C-show. They're pushing a match against Avalanche/Big Bubba but they just spend the whole time chopping each other and behaving like those old roasts where the Rat Pack would just drunkenly make inside jokes for an hour. Mean Gene calls Macho "gregarious" and Macho yells at him "Don't you ever call me gregarious again!" The whole thing was a riot.

2. Nasty Boys vs. Southern Posse

You know, people give Knobbs a hard time for being reckless and stiff when people don't expect it, but that always seems to overshadow how awful Jerry Saggs can look in the ring sometimes. Still this is 2 minutes and Southern Posse are always game to job and even though I'm not sure they're actually any good I always look forward to seeing them.  Saggs does a nasty pump handle slam, Knobbs throws some reckless punches and elbows that look awesome, and then Saggs finishes the match with the absolute worst top rope elbow drop I have ever seen. It was stunning. He spends all his time doing a Macho Man elbow twirl as he's falling, but then he lands on his feet first and then just drops onto the guy. It was the worst and completely amazing all at once. Bobby and Tony are dying laughing, not even able to finish a "well it's not pretty but it's...effective?" sentence.

3. Avalanche vs. John Crystal

Not much of a match, pretty short, but I love Tenta as obese heel Ricky Jay. Fans were into him too, really booing him but also cheering him when he would do big moves. One segment in the middle saw him do a big elbow drop which heard a collective "Ooooohhh!" from the crowd, followed by big boos as he hammed it up. Then he did a big leg drop to more "Oooooooohhhhhssss!!" from the crowd and then flexed afterwards to get louder boos. Then immediately did an awesome big splash that saw tons of people noticeably jump out of their seats to cheer for, but then instantly got more booing. Just came off as a really great performer.

4. Johnny B. Badd vs. Rip Sawyer

Another short 2 minute match but Badd had really nice matwork to start, doing a nice headlock takeover and floating into a nice armlock before rolling back into a nice headlock. He also had really great punches here and a nice kneelift. Match ended on a great left hand, and really when you end a match on a punch you better make it look good.

5. Steven Regal/Robert Eaton vs. Brad Armstrong/Tim Horner

Pre match vignettes show Eaton getting training on how to be a classy, distinguished gentleman. This was apparently the first time the Blue Bloods teamed up, and it was a total blast as you probably could have guessed. They get about 9-10 minutes and it's all Regal and Eaton cutting off the ring, with Regal working schtick with the ref while Eaton stiffs up Armstrong in the corner. Eaton really brutalized both Horner and Armstrong in this match, throwing stiff elbows and his expectedly great punches. Horner's hot tag is really impressive with Regal and Eaton both flying around for his nice right hands, but Regal eventually catches him with a shot and Eaton hits a perfect Alabama Jam for the win. I don't know if I've ever seen a finer leg drop off the top.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 11/5/95

1. Nasty Boys vs. Buddy Valentine/Johnny Swinger

I did not realize Swinger worked WCW this early. And here he had a mullet and mustache!!! That means for essentially 6 years in WCW, whenever a worker went to management and said "Hey, I really feel like stiffing a guy," then WCW management would say, "No problem! We'll give you Swinger!" And the Nasty Boys were guys who would stiff up jobbers occasionally. Although they don't really stiff up Valentine or Swinger here. They squash 'em good, but no real taking advantage of, which is what everybody watching at home (me) wanted.

2. The Shark vs. Vern Henderson

Rachel totally guessed that Tenta would be in the next match. She is fully immersed in WCW B-Sides now. It is a part of her. Tenta looked good here and call me crazy but I thought he looked cool with the balding up top/ponytail in the back look. Most human beings don't look cool with this look. Match was super short.

3. DDP vs. Cobra

Did anybody predict DDP becoming a massive star 2-3 years after this? Here he looks like an weird old dude with annoying hair and a bad singlet/tights combo, and 2 years later he was an old dude with annoying hair and tight jeans...but a totally deserving gigantic star. Just looking at these two, I would have guessed Jeff Farmer being a way bigger star. But then again I have no idea what I'm talking about. I thought Cobra had a cool look when I was 13. I love after this match when Craig Pittman comes out to distract Cobra and start a feud. The thing is, I don't remember ever seeing Cobra win a match EVER, so it's odd for a guy who is a strongly booked TV presence to come out and start menacing a consistent loser. Seems a bit like piling on. Like the Yankees bunting and doing a double steal against the Astros in the 9th inning of a game they're winning 9-1.

4. Steve/Scott Armstrong/Tim Horner vs. Brian Pillman/Arn Anderson/Ric Flair

These kind of matches are probably the best thing possible about these sets. You have three guys who nobody has ever seen take a pin on TV, vs. 3 of the bigger stars of the 90s, and 75% of the match is the Horsemen showing ass for Armstrongs/Horner. I don't know if it's because hierarchies aren't as strong today or the egos of the guys on top are just that much bigger that they don't want to look weak, but these type of matches just don't exist any more on TV. I think I was so confused by the Armstrongs running roughshod over Arn and Pillman that it took me like 3 minutes to realize Tim Horner was not in fact Bobby Eaton. I'm pretty sure for 3 minutes I was just non-stop talking about how I didn't realize Eaton ever wore trunks this late into his career. "I don't remember the last time I saw Eaton NOT wearing tights, you know? I assumed he had hideously scarred legs, but they're just normal super white Eaton legs you know? you know?!?!" Then Tim Horner came in and threw an arm drag and I was like Ohhhhhhhhh. Because only in wrestling can you have a guy with the worst haircut possible, and have there be another guy in the same room with the exact same haircut.

Anyway, the match was fucking boss because it's not the Armstrongs and Tim Horner getting squashed by Kevin Sullivan and Hugh Morrus, it's the Armstrongs and Tim Horner getting to squash the motherfucking Horsemen while the Horsemen have to desperately cheat to scrape out a victory, so who couldn't cheer like mad while watching it!?

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CLASSIC TOMK: 1994 War Games

PAS: I watched this match tonight off of Will's awesome Dustin Rhodes Set, so I figured I would repost Tomk's review.


Dusty Rhodes, Dustin Rhodes, Nasty Boys vs. Arn Anderson, Bunkhouse Buck, Terry Funk, Colonel Parker 9/18/94

Hey it’s my weekly contribution to your daily dose of Dustin. And its time to whip out a WARGAMES!!!

Not just any WARGAMES but one of the most slept on Wargames out there and easily one of my favorites.

The set up to this Wargames is fantastic. Dustin Rhodes is feuding with Col Rob Parker and his charges. Dustin and Jimmy Golden (working as Bunkhouse Buck) have had a series of nasty brawls ( a bunch of which will eventually get reviewed).Parker brings in Terry Funk…Dustin goes to Arn Anderson to ask him to tag with him against Funk and Buck. Arn agrees but the turns on Dustin leading to Dusty coming out of retirement:

“I wanna ask you a favor in front of God and the whole world….at Clash of the Champions I don’t want you to look for another partner. I don’t want you to go find another man. I don’t want you to go get on your knees and beg another scum sucking pig to be your partner….I’m asking you, if you can carry this old, out of shape…old bitty…old spindly legged man. I WANT TO BE YOUR PARTNER.”

The crowd goes apeshit. Men cry.

Dusty puts hand out to quiet crowd.

“I don’t need no handshake, because out there right now there people with their borthers and their sisters and their wives. They are BLOOD. The Kennedy’s were Blood. The Earps were blood. The Rhodes are blood. I don’t need no handshake…all’s I need from you, son is just a hug and a kiss to seal the deal, babey.”

Dusty and Dustin work a tag match which ends with Meng doing an awesome job at getting over the Big Bubba gets hit with a chair angle. And Dusty and Dustin clearly are outnumbered and need to find two more guys “some bad bucks” to fill out a Wargames team. So Dusty goes to the Nasty Boys hangout to recruit them of all people. The Nasty Boys hang out is really great as instead of being in a bar surrounded by toughs they’re in a bar surrounded by the junkie graffiti artists who make the Nastys’ custom shirts. Guys are discussing the relative merits of Keith Harring and Basquait and how it applies to airbrush, while other guys are heating up spoons. Fucking great. There is this one airbrush artist with homemade tattoos and a beret who looks like he could be the dead member of Milly Vanilli, three months post death. He is completely stoked by the idea of the Dusty, Nasties team. You can watch his mind wirrr as he plans out a Jaspar Johnsish “Nasty Americans” motif. Unfortunately he ODs before Fall Brawl and his little gutter rat girlfriend steals the shirts so Dusty is left with a Rauschenberg inspired NASTY DREAMS T-shirt. Its pretty great in its own right. But still….

It’s Fallbrawl 94 WARGAMES with Robert Fuller’s Studs Stable (Arn Anderson, Bunkhouse Buck, Terry Funk, and Fuller as Col Rob Parker) vs. the Nasty Dreams (Dustin Rohodes, the Nasty Boys, and Dusty).. That’s two teams of four and the Jew in me is disappointed as he feels that you really can’t have a Wargames without a full Minion…But fuck that, even if it violates Talmudic Law this may be one of the best Wargames ever.

So I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Aw screw Tom…such a fucking rube wrestling vampire fan…Nasty Boys both Rhodes, Robert Fuller, Jimmy Golden, Terry Funk and Arn…this was probably a bloody mess…well blood doesn’t equal good wrestling. Any idiot can blade….I’m never gonna read another thing he writes”.

We’ll you’d probably be right when you describe me as a vampire fan…but you’d be wrong about the match. Way wrong. Because this is a Wargames with NO BLOOD. Yes, that’s right. It’s a bloodless Wargames. And not just a bloodless wargames but a bloodless wargames starring such bleeders as two members of the Fuller/Golden clan, the Nasty Boys, Arn, 94 era Terry Funk, Dustin Rhodes and 94 era Dusty (Dusty in 94 what else can he do but bleed?). Where is the blood????

So it’s a bloodless cage match.

So recently, I’ve been bitching about the WWE booking style where feud’s are blown off in TV spotfest cage matches. In WWE a feud doesn’t end on PPV it ends on TV…and it ends in a cage. That in and of itself isn’t too much of a problem. But the cage matches are used for TV bloodless spotfests. Now this has two huge problems…1) I don’t like spotfest cage matches, and 2) a spotfest as a feud blowoff is just weird booking.

But Wargames 94 isn’t a spotfest cage match. they don't work bloodless spot fest war games but rather bloodless violent wargames. I like my cage matches violent. This is a violent cage match.

Really is a classic Wargames structure: workers who can actually work a good five minute brawl sent in for first period, the rest of the periods are built around the man-up/man-down structure, last two guys sent in are the “weak-link heel” and the over hot-tagish face who doesn’t have a lot of offense or a lot of cardio. The classic structure on some level assumes blood. I’m sure the lack of blood is why this match isn’t pimped as heavily as it should be. You might think the lack of blood in that classic structure would be a fatal flaw. But you’d be wrong.

First period starts of course starts with Arn and Dustin. Dustin is the worker of his team and the guy who can go the longest while Arn is working Wargames veteran. Since Phil has already pimped the greatness of the Arn points to head spot, I should point out that early in the match Arn gets tossed at cage, blocks hitting the cage…looks to the audience knowingly and points to his head “I’m too smart for that”…he then turns around and eats a right.

First period is worked as brawl with two both exploring just the sheer size of working in the double ring structure. Arn does a bunch of bailing from one ring to another, to heel it up and slow Dustin’s momentum. Arn crawls back and forth between the rings to lure Dustin into following. Think about every WWF Saturday Nights main event ever…where heel lures face to chase around ring only for face to get stomped when crawling back in. Dustin smartens up pretty quickly and realizes that in the double ring you give chase by go over the turnbuckles and entering each ring with top rope dive move. From there Dustin moves to using a ceiling assisted seated drop kick and eventually in the biggest spot of first period does a spectacular double ring tope style flying lariat where he covers the entire size of both rings.

Arn does the head caught between the two rings spot which is a classic wargames spot. Its odd to role that spot out in the first period but it really works well here as Dustin grabs Arn by his legs and really works Arns head into the gap. It really feels like Dustin is trying to tear Arn apart. This is a theme I probably should come back to a bunch in this review. Normally first period of a Wargames is built around who gets color first, built around working toward blood…the cage spots are built around blood, a lot of work is built around biting and working cuts. Wargames 94 is a bloodless Wargames and so the cage spots aren’t worked around blood….instead the spots are worked around guys trying to hurt their opponents. In most Wargames at one point or other Arn is going to put a face into a half crab which will eventually lead to Arn and a partner doubleing up each taking a leg putting face into two halfcrabs. Normally that spot doesn’t mean a lot within context of Wargames…it’s a nice point for announcer to remind audience that there is no DQ in the match. When they go for that spot in 94 its a lot more meaningfull than it normally is because it fits more within the context of the match where all the work is built on hurting, wearing down and tearing apart your opponent. This match has no biting…the biting is replaced by body part work.

The first period ends with Arn getting his DDT off to go on offense and then hitting a clothesline which Dustin does his great spinning clothesline sell for and then Bunckhouse Buck is in for the two on one. And at this point the whole match is built on the who is man up, who is man down structure. Arn was in control at end of first period and Buck and Arn just abuse Dustin for this period with Dustin taking a bunch of cage bumps and the two just working him over while he tries for a couple hot hope spots..

It’s the third period and the heels are in control when Jerry Saggs comes in house of fire. This is the most I think I’ve ever enjoyed Saggs in a match. Saggs comes in double lariating the heels giving Dustin time to recover. Saggs hits a really great piledriver, Oklahoma stampedes Bunkhouse Buck into wall of cage and then grabs Buck by neck and throws buck into the cage ceiling. By the end of period Dustin has recovered somewhat although still sells “guy in here longest” and the match is more back and forth between the two even teams.

Fourth period and its time for Funk. It’s 1994 so this isn’t 1970s Terry Funk or 1989 Terry Funk…this is 1994 Terry Funk. So Terry Funk mostly doesn’t do a lot of brawling so much as Terry Funk does a bunch of Crazy Funk schtick. Although it should be said that he takes what may be the craziest bump in Wargames history. Funk comes in with his boot off and hits everyone with the boot then goes after Dustin allowing Buck and Arn to double team the fresher Saggs. Dustin sells really well here as there is a bunch of boot back and forth schtick plus Dustin’s desperation attempts to save Saggs from the double teaming only to be stopped by the Funkster. Funk rubs Dustins face into the cage in front of Dusty (on the outside) and you get the only “We want Blood!” chants of the match.

I should point out that Arn is really good it getting over the bloodless face getting scraped against fence really well including kind of reverse Race bumping into ring after taking it. This doesn’t get a demand for blood.

Fourth period its Knobbs a fire to even things out and the Nasties get a hold of Terry Funks boot. Of yeah that nasty bump by Terry Funk. I should mention that. Jerry Saggs goes to piledrive Funk in the gap between the rings and somehow or other looks to gonzobomb Funk on the ring edge. Terry Funks back and neck land all nasty.

So its fifth period and its time for Colonel Rob Parker to be forced into the match. Parker had wanted Meng to be fourth member of his team but WCW was forcing him to participate. Robert Fuller is really great at playing a pussy guy who doesn’t want to be working in a match. I mean this is Robert Fuller. Robert Fuller was a great wrestler plus he is a tall motherfucker. I never understood the booking that had Fuller managing Sid. The only thing Sid had going for himself is height…you have a tall guy manage him and that hurts his only strength. I joked a bunch when they had Coach managing Lance Cade since Coach is one of the tallest people on the roster using him as manager makes everyone else look smaller. Here, somehow or other Parker really pulls off pussy despite his size. Not sure how he did it but he manages to work up a full sweat before entering ring. Dustin wants to get Parker and so waits by the door for Parker to enter only to be jumped from behind by Bunkhouse. Buck holds Dustin back while Parker goes to punch Dustin..and then Parker sells hurting his hand on a punch. If you haven’t watched that much Fuller this might not be impressive but it really impresses me.

And the match gets to be all about belt shots. Dustin and Funk trade belt shots, while Arn holds Knobbs for Parkr to whip with a belt. Fuck is Fuller great at whipping people with belt. Just really great belt shots. You watch Parker whip people with belt and you get why Sid thought his angle for Parker and the Ebony Experience was so good.

The crowd is going apeshit at this point and the countdown till the last entrant begins. Crowd just chanting for Dusty, while Terry Funk stands in front of face door dancing around taunting the Dream. The Dream bionic elbows his way past the other heels and goes straight for Parker. Parker bails to the second ring only to be met by the Nasties. Dusty smiles and then grabs his own nuts. I should point out that before the match Dusty had done mic work about how he was “going to make Parker SQUE—EAL like a pig”. And I guess that would be a submission and well it would make a lot of sense not to have any blood in a match that was building to an anal bleeding finish…and so the grabbing own balls is scary threat. Thank God for Ted Turners standards and practices folks as Dusty instead puts Fuller in a figure-four.

Dustin fights off the other heels as the Nastys splash and drop elbows on Parker while he’s caught in the figure four. Parker submits and the crowd POPS. The crowd pop is great and really reinforces the idea that the lack of blood isn’t fatal flaw in this match. Crowd demanded it during one section but really gets so caught up in the momentum that they no longer needed it…and I really think this match may be better for its lack of blood.

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