My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Pro 4/13/96

A request from the wonderful and dependable Cubs Fan, a mere hours before the most exciting baseball game of his last decade is about to commence (I'm pulling for the Cubs, buddy).


1. State Patrol vs. Fire & Ice

This was really fun, and according to Chris Cruise the debut of Fire & Ice!! Historic!! Parker is a guy who won't back down and he jumps Train and immediately stiffs him up. It doesn't last long as Train gives Buddy a massive backdrop and a lariat right into Parker's throat, then Norton tags in and steamrolls him with a shoulderblock. State Patrol get to double team him for a bit, choking him out on the ropes and clubbing him, until Norton does a cool double vertical suplex on them. Finish is Norton hitting his nasty shoulderbreaker on Parker followed up with a huge standing splash from Train. Really fun tag.

2. V.K. Wallstreet vs. Cobra

This was maybe the most offense I've ever seen Cobra get. He throws a nice dropkick, some decent-ish punches, threw a really nice high arc powerslam. A lot of guys threw pretty nice powerslams during this era WCW. But Cobra really was a guy who seemed green for several years. I once saw somebody selling a "Super J" comp tape from their tapelist. I assumed initially that it was some Super J Tourney Comp, but no, it was legitimately a Jeff Farmer comp, just during the time he went by Super J. That is probably the weirdest comp tape I've ever seen.

3. Giant vs. Butch Long & Not THEE Manny Fernandez

Manny Fernandez is announced as Vern Henderson here. I always feel for jobbers when they get their name announced wrong. But an onscreen graphic to boot? Ouch. So Manny and Long didn't actually get any offense here. I'll give you time to collect yourselves. Giant threw a nice corner clothesline, and (recurring theme!) a big powerslam. Cool spot where Manny was trying a single leg on Giant, Long flew in with a crossbody that got caught, Giant did a huge kneelift to Manny and then a fallaway slam on Long. This maybe went 90 seconds.

4. Men at Work vs. Brad & Steve Armstrong

This was awesome. It's a fun example of WCW syndicated hierarchy, as there are still matches that surprise me with who's going over. I didn't see Norton going over One Man Gang, and here it was more of a toss-up. Armstrongs don't win a lot, neither do Men at Work. Armstrongs won this one, but ask yourself if the result wouldn't have been different if it were Scott and Steve instead of Brad and Steve. Steve/Scott seems like a team that could feasibly lose to Men at Work. But man this was good. Starr and Brad had glorious slicked down tightly curled mullets, you got a shit ton of dropkicks (and Brad is a guy with a great dropkick), Kanyon showed off a beautiful piece of underrated pro wrestling by nailing Brad with a big right hand coming out of an arm wringer (think about it, picture a guy doing an arm wringer, twisting up and under, only to be met with a right hand on the other side. You love it.), Steve continues the TREND by hitting a big rotating powerslam on Starr  (seriously, EVERYbody did a powerslam and it's the best), Kanyon predicts indie wrestling 15 years into the future by hitting a urunage onto his own knee, and that early match urunage leads to a great finish where Brad scouts it, reverses it later when Kanyon goes for it and slips right out the back into a dynamite Russian legsweep. This was just wonderful classic tag wrestling.

5. Lex Luger vs. Vern Henderson

Henderson is a fun old roided guy who pops up a couple times of year in WCW. He always tries, attempts offense he probably shouldn't, and takes at least one big bump a match. I always smile when Vern pops up. Luger is a little more controlling here than he was against Ice Train, but he still gives Vern a lot. Vern breaks out a neat little floatover armdrag that you wouldn't expect him to, and as advertised gets tossed to the floor and takes a big back bump without getting slowed down by the ropes. His punches are bad and Zbyszko calls out how awful his hammerlock is. "Luger must just be letting him put that thing on to be kind!" Luger hits a powerslam (THEME!) and runs nicely into Vern's corner boot. But then it's torture rack time. Fun little match. Luger was like Bill Dundee in terms of 1996 WCW studio taping mastery.

6. Barbarian vs. Konnan

Woof. What a waste of Barbarian. Let me be the first person to talk about how awful a wrestler Konnan was. At this point he had been given the US title, yet still clearly had no idea how to take offense. He had no idea how to fall, and many times came off like a totally untrained wrestler. At one point Barbarian hits a lariat and Konnan puts his arms at his side and just tips over. Later he spun around twice before hitting a kick to the stomach. I can't actually figure out a way to type what he did, to properly convey how misguided it looked. Barbarian was in the ropes, Konnan right in front of him, in place, just spun around clockwise - twice - on his feet, and at the end of the second spin just threw his leg out, so it was like a sidekick to the stomach. Barbarian sold it properly, like a confused man who kind of got flicked in the nuts by a good friend. Just holding his stomach and looking up at Konnan, confused. Later Konnan has problems getting up on a powerbomb (didn't seem like he intentionally sandbagged Barb, just looked like he was clueless) so Barb muscled him up and planted him anyway. The finish is Klassic Klueless Konnan, as Barbarian goes for another powerbomb, Konnan is supposed to do a rana, but Konnan instead manages to completely brain himself, just awkwardly dropping right onto his own head and neck. Barb tries gallantly to roll through it, and Konnan ends up sitting on Barbarian's chest holding his own head for the pin. A true champion.


Have you had enough 1996 syndicated WCW, Cubs? Well there's gonna be more! After all, you were my first donor, gotta give the people what they want!


***I'm probably sounding like a skipping record (like my Metal Health LP that awesomely skips during the first chorus of "Cum on Feel the Noize", so it just gets stuck perfectly on Kevin DuBrow yelling "Mooore moooore moooore") at this point but I'm still trying to raise money for my friend and coworker whose home burned down, completely disappearing every single one of her possessions. The donations have slowed but no matter, I still have plenty of neat requests to fulfill and WILL be continuing to fulfill them! I'm matching EVERY contribution and will continue writing above and beyond for those who donate. You donate $1? That's awesome. Whatever you can do, and then you get to make a request. This means SO MUCH to me and you all are making me so happy***

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 11/5/95

1. Nasty Boys vs. Buddy Valentine/Johnny Swinger

I did not realize Swinger worked WCW this early. And here he had a mullet and mustache!!! That means for essentially 6 years in WCW, whenever a worker went to management and said "Hey, I really feel like stiffing a guy," then WCW management would say, "No problem! We'll give you Swinger!" And the Nasty Boys were guys who would stiff up jobbers occasionally. Although they don't really stiff up Valentine or Swinger here. They squash 'em good, but no real taking advantage of, which is what everybody watching at home (me) wanted.

2. The Shark vs. Vern Henderson

Rachel totally guessed that Tenta would be in the next match. She is fully immersed in WCW B-Sides now. It is a part of her. Tenta looked good here and call me crazy but I thought he looked cool with the balding up top/ponytail in the back look. Most human beings don't look cool with this look. Match was super short.

3. DDP vs. Cobra

Did anybody predict DDP becoming a massive star 2-3 years after this? Here he looks like an weird old dude with annoying hair and a bad singlet/tights combo, and 2 years later he was an old dude with annoying hair and tight jeans...but a totally deserving gigantic star. Just looking at these two, I would have guessed Jeff Farmer being a way bigger star. But then again I have no idea what I'm talking about. I thought Cobra had a cool look when I was 13. I love after this match when Craig Pittman comes out to distract Cobra and start a feud. The thing is, I don't remember ever seeing Cobra win a match EVER, so it's odd for a guy who is a strongly booked TV presence to come out and start menacing a consistent loser. Seems a bit like piling on. Like the Yankees bunting and doing a double steal against the Astros in the 9th inning of a game they're winning 9-1.

4. Steve/Scott Armstrong/Tim Horner vs. Brian Pillman/Arn Anderson/Ric Flair

These kind of matches are probably the best thing possible about these sets. You have three guys who nobody has ever seen take a pin on TV, vs. 3 of the bigger stars of the 90s, and 75% of the match is the Horsemen showing ass for Armstrongs/Horner. I don't know if it's because hierarchies aren't as strong today or the egos of the guys on top are just that much bigger that they don't want to look weak, but these type of matches just don't exist any more on TV. I think I was so confused by the Armstrongs running roughshod over Arn and Pillman that it took me like 3 minutes to realize Tim Horner was not in fact Bobby Eaton. I'm pretty sure for 3 minutes I was just non-stop talking about how I didn't realize Eaton ever wore trunks this late into his career. "I don't remember the last time I saw Eaton NOT wearing tights, you know? I assumed he had hideously scarred legs, but they're just normal super white Eaton legs you know? you know?!?!" Then Tim Horner came in and threw an arm drag and I was like Ohhhhhhhhh. Because only in wrestling can you have a guy with the worst haircut possible, and have there be another guy in the same room with the exact same haircut.

Anyway, the match was fucking boss because it's not the Armstrongs and Tim Horner getting squashed by Kevin Sullivan and Hugh Morrus, it's the Armstrongs and Tim Horner getting to squash the motherfucking Horsemen while the Horsemen have to desperately cheat to scrape out a victory, so who couldn't cheer like mad while watching it!?

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