Fire Fundraiser: WCW Saturday Night Weirdness, Part I

"I'm looking for the oddest matches or occurrences...matches that make you say "only on Saturday night"." So said friend and donor Sean, when requesting what wrestling he would like to see written about. So I set about on a search for WCW syndicated weirdness. I specifically focused on 1998-2000 as by that point the show was able to operate completely under the radar from all the people who were busy with Nitro and the general circus. It was in a total vacuum and it wouldn't be stunning if you found out over half the office never actually watched this era of WCWSN. With that in mind, I think that era had more weird potential. So here are several of my favorite weird, only in WCW syndicated TV moments:

~Prophetic Canadian Murderer, 2/7/98: The main event was Benoit vs. Raven, and Benoit starts off with some mic work (yeesh) and drops the line "Now obviously, the book on my life has yet to be written." And how! If it HAD been written you would now probably have to reprint a new edition with AT MINIMUM an updated prologue.

~Everybody Gets a Trophy Day, 2/14/98: This episode was fascinating and weird because El Dandy AND The Villanos each got pinfall wins in separate matches. Think of how many Villano wins you can picture in a WCW ring? Try and imagine what the Villanos finisher was. Until this episode I couldn't do either. And they didn't even beat other Mexicans! They got to beat good ol' Mean Mike and Tough Tom clean in the middle. Their finisher was like Road Warriors' Doomsday Device, but instead of getting clotheslined off of their shoulders, Mean Mike got hit with a Villano IV crossbody off the top while perched on V5's shoulders. Miracle. And then later in the episode El Dandy got to level Super Calo with a punch and then pin him with the Dandy Roll. It was Dandy and Silver King vs. Juvy and Calo, which immediately made me assume Juvy was going to be pinning Dandy. But somehow El Dandy was the winner. Dandy! Dandy was winner! This episode also featured a Sick Boy vs. Renegade match which I genuinely loved. I cannot think of one other match from either Sick Boy or Renegade that I even passively enjoy. So this episode was chock full o' weird.

~Scott Hall's Celebrity Roast, 10/17/98: I titled it that, because this whole segment Scott Hall came off like a wasted out of his mind Dean Martin on one of his old celebrity roasts. This was a handicap match of Scott Hall vs. Disorderly Conduct. Hall comes stumbling out and just looks dangerously drunk, grabs a microphone and starts rambling and telling a bunch of inside jokes about Kevin Nash, then saying he's giving Nash the night off because he - pointing to Disorderly Conduct - "can beat these two JAY-brones (that's how he pronounced it!!) by himself". Then Hall takes his toothpick out of his mouth, flicks it at the camera, misses the camera, drunkenly shrugs...then pulls out A SECOND TOOTHPICK to flick at the camera. That's incredible. But what's shocking is Hall proceeds to work a totally normal handicap match, with D.O. taking most of the match by constantly cheating and double teaming Hall. Hall had a couple fiery babyface comebacks and threw some nice rights, but D.O. would go back to controlling. You've never seen so many Disorderly Conduct control segments. After awhile though, and without building to any finish, Hall clearly and loudly signals that he just wants the match to end and then hits an Outsiders Edge to win.

~Mr. World Class, 1/16/99: Lost in the syndicated late 90s was a brief feud between Chris Adams and Chip Minton over who should have the rights to call themselves "World Class". Chris Adams had been using the nickname World Class for some time, as well as Gentleman (which really is the best), but Minton started using the name Mr. World Class when he debuted in USWA a few years prior. Minton was a legit two time Olympian, as the pusher on the US 4 man bobsled. This was truly something that could only be settled in the ring! It was a weird two week feud and THIS was the blowoff! And then the match was just painful if your name was Chip Minton, because Minton got steamrolled by Adams. Adams came out wearing a gi, and then proceeded to do a bunch of shoot looking stuff with Minton getting next to no offense. Adams would regularly take him down with single legs, do dickhead stuff like stomp on Minton's calves, really hammered him with elbows, hit one of his meanest superkicks (and think of the ground that covers) before locking Minton into a gross submission for the win. Adams was choking Minton with his legs and then grabbed his arm to start hyperextending it. Minton did not look along for the ride. Minton had lost the battle. HOWEVER, two years later Chris Adams DIED. Who won that war? AND to my knowledge Minton was never even questioned. It is telling that NOBODY else has challenged Minton for the title of Mr. World Class. Makes you think.

~Barry Windham's Nut Stranglers, 6/26/99: This was during the West Texas Rednecks period for Windham, and for whatever reason Barry just could not get any good look going. Not redneck chic, not cowboy, not even a simple trunks/vest/cowboy hat. Instead, here, he decided to sport cowboy boots, a gigantic knee brace, a way too undersized wife beater, gardening gloves....and the most impossibly short, unbearably tight cut off jean shorts you have ever seen. He looked ridiculous. He looked like a man who lost a bet, and the person he lost to just kept coming up with punishments off the top of his head. But damn those shorts were the worst. Those shorts haunt me. Those shorts will just stare at you with a feral look, like Angela at the end of Sleepaway Camp. These shorts were just so tight, and the denim so uncomfortable looking, that every single time Windham moved I expected one of his testicle to rupture. It was terrible.


We'll be back with Part II of this WCW Weirdness series tomorrow. Thanks again to Sean for donating and requesting this delightful madness.

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Pro 8/24/96

Good grief Larry is wearing an absurd button up tie dye shirt and really seems like he's attempting to look worse than any number of crowd members wearing t-shirts with Taz dunking a basketball. I'm also convinced that t-shirts were only made in color "white" during most of the 90s. Thinking back to all of my No Fear shirts when I was in 7th grade and those were all white. This is just a whole crowd of white shirted people in weird fitting pants. You can't see much detail, but I'm assuming there were at least 7 Big Johnson shirts in this crowd.

1. Mike Enos vs. Chad Brock

Shit yeah this sounds fun on paper, and it really was a fantastic Enos showcase. Not only does Enos tear into Brock but he also makes Brock's sub-par stomach kicks look good. Enos shows ass for Brock and misses a giant elbow drop. Enos also hits an insane standing overhead belly to belly which is really impressive since Brock isn't a tiny guy. Enos' strikes look great and he came off like an absolute mauler here.

2. Faces of Fear vs. Chip Minton/Billy Payne

You know what? I'm calling bullshit on the monster Meng. This dude was the Bruiser Brody of the 90s. Everybody has heard so many stories about Meng biting peoples' noses off and bar fights and Finlay backstage staredowns and they just think this guy is thee fucking shooter. But you know what? Meng usually looks like dog shit in the ring. His strikes usually look like garbage and he rarely stiffs up jobbers. Billy Payne had a jheri curl mohawk and a horrible singlet. Nobody deserved a stiff beating more than this guy. And it just didn't happen. Barbarian worked Payne's ass over something fierce. Booted his face, threw some crazy stiff chops. Meng just makes goofy faces and locks on his death grip. He does hit a stiff atomic drop on Chip Minton, but that seemed more like Minton getting his trademark crazy height on moves and launching himself balls first into Meng's knee. So that's it, this is the moment where I no longer get excited for Meng vs. jobber matches. The guy was just too much of a lovable teddy bear to hurt poor little jobbers. All rep no actual video to back it up. Yeah, it was amazing that one time he speared the cardboard cutout of Goldberg, but I need some nose biting or finger breaking before I come back on board.

3. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Misterio Jr.

According to Chris Cruise this is the first time these two have met, and that's pretty damn cool if true (and it's not unbelievable as I don't think Chavo really worked anywhere before WCW. If he did then I've never seen it). Rey takes a lunatic monkey flip bump that lands him into the ropes and he and Eddy are like the only guys I've seen do that spot regularly and it just seems super dangerous. Rey recovers and sends Chavo to the floor, and hits a somersault senton and just splats butt first into Chavo and Chavo lands with a brutal thud onto the unforgiving rotating platform that the Pro ring is placed on. And Rey comes up limping and holding his knee. Hmmmm. I mean, knowing what I know now it's not a stretch to think that Rey's knees were already feeling like a bag of potato chips that had been stomped on, but we'll see how this plays out. Back in and Chavo starts wrenching and elbow dropping the knee so thank god. Makes me just think that Dean was missing physical cues in that other match, but...naw I have no clue what happened in that match. And HOLY FUCK Chavo hits a plancha to the floor and Rey absorbs it halfway on the stage and half off and they splat right onto the edge of that stupid ass stage set up and Rey has those 2009 Misawa "awwww fuck that hurt" eyes going on. Back in and Chavo hits a beautiful moonsault press just like his daddy, but misses a springboard crossbody and Rey pins him. Chris Cruise says that was impressive because Rey showed that he can hang on the mat as opposed to just aerial attacks, but Rey literally did nothing whatsoever on the mat in this match. Still, match was plenty fun.

4. DDP vs. Craig Pittman

Well...that was an 8 minute DDP/Craig Pittman match. About 3 minutes of this was DDP holding a chinlock, building to him getting caught with his feet on the ropes. So that whole gag happened. Pittman is a real odd duck as sometimes he looks really cool in the ring and other times his style just does not mesh and he moves really clunky. Like here. DDP will bump big for an old man and Pittman ate a clothesline real nice and took the Diamond Cutter on the floor but...this just didn't work out.

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Pro 8/17/96

1. Chip Minton vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This wasn't much and I'm kinda shocked that WCW never tried to push Minton at all. I mean, how often does an actual US Olympian get into pro wrestling? He was pretty raw but had some obvious talent. Instead we get a bunch of Larry Z griping about how bobsledding won't make him a better wrestler and acting as if Minton was leading a bobsledding invasion against WCW wrestling.

2. Jim Powers vs. The Gambler

Alright, I'll be honest with you: Jim Powers is not very good at pro wrestling. But what's even worse is that he's not very good in a completely boring way. He does hip tosses. He rams guys' heads into the turnbuckles. He throws a super light dropkick. He has just nothing going for him at all. You can't laugh at him for being horrible, your brain just goes blank for 4 minutes. So thank god for The Gambler, who tries his damndest to have a fun match with Jim Powers. He doesn't succeed, but he tried. This was at least notable for being one of the few matches where The Gambler controlled the match and took most of the offense. Powers was working comebacks most of the way through so Gambler got to control with Arn Anderson-meets-Chris Elliott charm. I wish actual good wrestlers would try and work a competitive match with him.

3. High Voltage vs. American Males

Hey, you know who used to be good? Marcus Bagwell. I really liked him in this, working the hot tag for Riggs. He had a really nice dropkick, cool shoulderblock and a great crossbody off the top for the win, and this was an enjoyable 7 minute tag. You know who wasn't good back then? Kaos (or "Chaos" as it was spelled here). He was just totally lost and it was a testament to how decent Bagwell was that this thing didn't fall completely apart. Kaos was totally baffled by rope running spots and got way confused during all those exchanges.

***Baseball Rambling Below***

So all through this show they've been showing an ad for an old Sega Genesis baseball game (World Series Baseball 2?) and what so odd about the commercial is Brad Radke is the guy they used as the sports star hawking the game. Now Brad Radke was one of my favorite non-Giant ballplayers of all time. He was a small market guy who played his whole career on the Twins and retired when he wanted to, while he was still a relevant player. What made me really like him was his numbers always looked worse than they actually were, and he regularly got overlooked as a really good player because of that (Matt Cain would later hold many of these traits Radke held, and Cain is one of my all-time favorites. What made me love him so early on was it felt like the Giants finally had their own Radke). I mean, in the last couple seasons before he retired, Radke had a 5+ K/BB ratio. That's great. But this was not later career Radke being featured in a commercial. 1996 was only his 2nd year, and what was notable about his first couple seasons was that he gave up more HR than any other pitcher in MLB over those 2 years, giving up 32 in '95 as a rookie and 40 in '96. His rookie year ERA was 5.32 (5.42 FIP, oooof). And this commercial was amazing because Radke was in it for just that reason: he gave up home runs. The commercial showed him giving up bombs and painted him as a bad luck loser. For a 23 year old player to make fun of himself like that just made me love Radke that much more, and even more awesome that he averaged 5 WAR over the next 5 seasons after this commercial. So not only did Radke make fun of himself, but he had the last laugh. Awesome.

***Baseball Rambling Over***

4. Scott Flash vs. Mark Starr

This could have been a really good jobber match, but Norton just absolutely refused to sell anything that Mark Starr throws. It was real bad. He just walked through punches and kicks and made it pretty clear that Starr was a doofus. It did show just how decent Starr's punches were, when they can look good even when somebody doesn't acknowledge them. Norton was a beast here, so I get it. But I felt bad for Starr. Norton's shoulderbreaker is a vicious, reckless move that looks insanely painful.

5. Chris Benoit vs. Joe Gomez

Jim Powers, why can't you be as hilariously awful as Joe Gomez? Gomez was just awful. Hilariously awful. Even Rachel noticed how often he tossed his hair back while horribly executing basic offense (did BJ Whitmer watch a lot of Gomez when he was younger?). Here he does an insanely slow backslide set-up, stopping midway to whip his hair back TWICE. By far the best part of the match was Gomez missing a running crossbody block off the ropes. What made it so great was the fact that Gomez clearly did not know he was missing the crossbody. This is what a missed crossbody looks like when Joe Gomez clearly thinks he's going to be crashing into Chris Benoit. But Benoit ducked, and Gomez flew hilariously/dangerously/awesomely into the ropes, and then rolled to the floor. It was spectacular. Later in the match Gomez goes up to the top and it looks like he's climbing ropes for the first time right here and now in front of the world. Every step up looks super shaky and he has to stop on each rope to regain his balance. Yes, he did not even climb up on the buckles, he climbed up on the ropes right next to the buckles. When he finally disastrously gets to the top, he leaps off with the worst top rope splash I've seen, coming in way forward heavy, like he was attempting to do the Worm by first leaping off the top. He just flops there hilariously, and then lies there on his face, a total failure pile. Even better, Benoit just kinda lets him lie there for awhile, face down, until casually walking over and putting on the crossface. Thank you, Joe Gomez.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Saturday Night 1/16/99

26 hours away from Souled Out from Charleston, West Virginia!!!

1. Barry Horowitz vs. Wrath

I forgot Wrath had the awesome "Running With the Devil" intro to his music. And I have no recollection of Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath from Souled Out. Wrath looks like the most juiced out of his gourd Burt Reynolds from "White Lightning" here, like he's all hopped up on Joker's toxin from Arkham Asylum. This is more competitive than you may have guessed, and Horowitz gets to hit a cool leaping back elbow from the 2nd rope. Wrath alternates between selling Barry's offense and then completely ignoring it. Barry's kicks to the stomach looked way better than Wrath's.

Nitro Girls calendar ad! Who was regarded as the hottest Nitro Girl anyway? I assume not the one with the super gelled dyed blonde curls? Was Spice the hottest? What was the name of the redhead (I assume Fire or Fyre or Figher?)? Maybe Chai? Who was the least hot Nitro Girl? Whisper? Can we get a consensus 1-10 ranking?

2. David Sierra vs. Chad Fortune

Crowd goes absolutely bonkers for Fortune and I assume it's because he's a gigantic Aryan guy in pleather flame pants against an ethnic guy. In fairness to those ethnically-insensitive fans, David Sierra really does look like a background character from "Quest For Fire" here, and HOLY SHIT Fortune does an awesome delayed fist drop and I suddenly want a "Best of Chad Fortune" VHS. Fortune's pants and giant link necklace look horrible. I don't think he's that good. Here's a selection from the "Monster Truck" section of his Wikipedia page. You may have misread that, and to be clear, Chad Fortune has a "Monster Truck" section on his Wikipedia page:

"Based on his professional wrestling background, he decided to dye his hair black and later his look to match the character of Superman."

Clearly Chad Fortune is the Daniel Day Lewis of monster truck driving. Dude doesn't even talk to crew members unless they call him Clark.

3. Mike Tolbert vs. Meng

Tolbert attacks Meng with leg kicks but Meng has the ability to no sell gassed/tanned/oiled/ponytailed jobber offense and immediately locks on the Tongan Death Grip. This was like 20 seconds.

4. Jeff Warner vs. Disco Inferno

Now I think Wikipedia is lying to me. Here's an excerpt from Jeff Warner's Wikipedia:

"He formed a tag team with Art Barr (who was using a "Beetlejuice" gimmick) called "The Juice Patrol" with Warner going by the name "Big Juice"."

 Oh, come on! No way does a jacked 6' 4" white guy go by "Big Juice"! How hilarious would that make Warner?! Also, there is a whole subsection of his Wikipedia page titled "Max Muscle" and all it says is:

"Contrary to popular belief and information often posted on the internet, Jeff Warner DID NOT portray the WCW character Max Muscle/Maxx."

That seems like a weird thing to drum up controversy over. Did some kid ask him one time at c-level WrestleCon "Hey, are you Maxx Muscle or is his table over there?" and Warner was like "Well just so people aren't confused we better clear the air." So just in case you jerks were curious, Jeff Warner WAS NOT the guitar tech during Creed's "Take Me Higher 2002" tour. He WAS the guy who did a few lines of coke off a Staind jewel case with the DJ from Crazy Town that one time, though.

Some guy in the crowd has a laquered sign that says "Disco Inferno....THE MAN". Front row.

5. Chris Adams vs. Chip Minton

Adams comes out in a GI and this is fucking ONNNNN. This was during the Adams/Minton feud where they were feuding over who gets to use the nickname "World Class". Adams does all sorts of cool shoot-type stuff here, including rad single legs, stomping on Minton's calves, and throws some brutal elbow shots. Then he plants him with a vertical powerbomb and just levels Minton with a great superkick. To really show Minton who's boss he finishes the match with some weird Volk Han submission, using his legs to choke him out while also hyperextending Minton's arm. Looked real weird and nasty.

6. Scotty Riggs vs. Scott Putski

Well, this wasn't one that excited me out of the gates. Riggs is a pretty decent foil for Putski (who goes to a chinlock 40 seconds in) and Putski throws a decent elbow drop. Most of the match is Riggs working over Putski's knee with some pretty nasty knee work (high half crab, punching him right in the knee, bending and twisting his knee over the bottom rope). Putski does an admirable job of selling the knee on his comebacks and you start to BUY the INJURY! And then Riggs hits the 5 Arm for the win. This would have actually been good if Putski's comeback offense was better.

7. Bobby Eaton/Kenny Kaos vs. Bobby Duncum Jr./Mike Enos

These are two weirdo tag teams and on paper this looks like a bank full of money. I know the Kaos/Eaton team formed because Kaos needed a partner with Rage injured, so went to tag team legend Eaton to help him out and condescendingly asks him for help ("it's not like you've had much success doing anything else, Bobby") but I have no memory of a Duncum/Enos team. This match is kinda disappointing as it only goes a few minutes with all guys showing off by seeing who has the best powerslam (Enos) and who throws the best elbow drop (Eaton). You get some nice Eaton punches, and then the match ends awkwardly with a sloppy Duncum leg drop that saw Kaos kick out at 2, but the ref counted 3 anyway and then people kinda stood around awkwardly while we cut to Mean Gene. Oooookay.

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Worldwide 8/11/96

WCW Worldwide 8/11/96

1. High Voltage vs. Eddie and Chavo Guerrero

High Voltage do a bunch of press slam spots and I think that always makes me think they're more awesome than they actually are. Whatever. Rage doing a bunch of presses here lead to a cool Eddie roll-up reversal. But whatever, HV's springboard spots always look great. Heenan's commentary also never ceases to shit all over Mexicans.

2. Kevin Sullivan vs. Chad Brock

Brock bumped around pretty well for Sullivan, but I hate Sullivan squashes because they're always like 50 seconds and he does all his moves in the exact same order: back a guy into the corner with chops, throw him to the floor, go out and get him (if '97, insert Jacqueline vertical suplexing the guy here), tree of woe, double foot stomp. Bleh.

3. Maxx vs. Ice Train

Lee Marshall humbly talking about "powerful men feeling each other out" made Rachel laugh and filled me with wrestle shame. I think this match actually could have benefitted from more time. I think it needed more time to build up that both guys' power cancels the other's out, so the person with the better combo of power and speed will win. Instead we only get one shoulder block no-sold by both, with both flexing and screaming, and then we go into Ice Train spots. I would have liked to see more power parity spots. I did like Maxx's big missed leaping back elbow, but this wasn't great.

4. Big Bubba vs. Chip Minton

Bubba looks like a total skeet here with a week long bender beard and homemade sleeveless shirt. Minton is game here for a beating and Bubba doles out a pretty decent one with a nice big boot, GREAT headbutt from the apron, couple big time slams, although he did look like he was yawning and sleepwalking his way through this. Minton has some really impressive leaping ability and I'm shocked WCW never tried to do more with him as it seems like they could have gotten SOME publicity out of it.

5. Rough & Ready (Enos and Slater) vs. Harlem Heat

I actually don't remember the Enos/Slater team at all. This match gets a lot of time, 11 minutes, and is pretty decent. But good lord Harlem Heat is just not very good at all. They've probably aged worse than anybody in this span. Stevie Ray is worse than you remember him, and yes I know how badly you remembered him. Enos and Slater actually make Stevie Ray offense look good and for that they get enormous credit. Enos throws a standing overhead belly-to-belly that dumps Booker right on his head. Ouch. Stevie Ray throws a clothesline to Slater's stomach that Slater has absolutely no clue how to sell. But overall this whole match works because most of it is awesome Enos/Slater control segments, with my favorite part being Enos cutting off a tag by running and stomping over Stevie on his way to knock Booker off the apron. To the shock of everybody, Booker wins this with a shitty looking kick.

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