Found Footage Friday: NEW BULLDOGS~! OLD FUNKS~! IWRG RETRO~! LA CORPORACION~! TEAM CASAS~! LAWLER~! MERCURY~! COACH~!

New Bulldogs (Dynamite Kid/Johnny Smith) vs. Terry Funk/Dory Funk Jr. AJPW 11/20/90

MD: I don't think this is an all time classic, but I do think it's a bit of a "for want of a nail" scenario. Let me put it this way: if this match had existed on tape in the mid-90s, I think it would have been put on a lot of comp tapes and traded around. I think it would have ended up as a match with a "rep." We look at things with different eyes in 2023 than in even 2003 though, and that means maybe not being quite so amazed by the most novel thing in the match and instead really appreciating certain other elements. 

As such, it was a tale of three or so matches. There was a lot of Dory being down on the mat with Johnny Smith and less of hm down with Dynamite. Smith, against Dory, felt smooth, credible, like he belonged. They kept things moving. The matwork was more explosive with Dynamite and that's actually impressive in its own right, just the notion that matwork can be explosive. Then there was Terry feeding, primarily for Dynamite, though with a bit of being stuck in Smith's headlock too. That style of chain wrestling is just so different from what we see today, less set spots and exchanges and more of Terry just grasping at anything he can to try to escape. When in there with Dynamite, Terry bounced around the ring as they crashed into each other at high speed.

The match shifted gears when Terry got Dynamite out and started to beat on him on the floor. My favorite version of the Funks is the bloody, scrappy one where they're fighting monsters, but my second favorite is when they're outright bullies, like that really fun Martel/Zenk match from 86 where they treat Martel with respect but wipe the mat with Zenk. That's what we get here, first on Dynamite and then, after he rolls limply over to Smith, onto him. Tag. Pile driver. Tag. Pile driver. Seven times on Smith in a row. It's just a remarkable two minutes. He kicks out (too much) and is saved in the end and it has some reaction from the crowd, but maybe not as much if they really milked it instead of doing it so matter-of-factly. Moreover, after Dynamite makes it back in, Smith is back on his feet and rolling just a minute later. Still, definitely 1998 comp tape material and certainly a worthwhile match for anyone with even a vague interest in either of these teams, something that should definitely see the light of day and now it has.

IWRG Retro 4/6/23

La Corporacion (Black Tiger/Pentagon Black, Dr. Cerebro/Cerebro Negro/Veneno/Scorpio Jr.) vs. Negro Casas/Felino/Heavy Metal/Matrix/Black Dragon/Mike Segura/Fantasma, Jr. IWRG 7/4/2005

MD: The     other half of the IWRG show and it got a ton of time (35 mins or so). It was good too, constantly moving with a lot of solid exchanges. I wouldn't say anyone stood out more than anyone else, really and no one looked terrible, though maybe Matrix or Fantasma, Jr. and Veneno were the weakest on either side. Maybe. There weren't any long bits of momentum from one side or another, just a lot of resets and into the next exchange. There was more of a sense that if you got into the wrong corner, you might get swarmed, in that sort of big NJPW multi-man tag style that you don't see in lucha as much.

Big indy moves had definitely reached lucha indy matches. Mike Segura managed to land on his head with some pretty crazy stuff from Cerebro Negro, for instance. And Pentagon Black was doing an Argentinian backbreaker into a cutter/facebuster sort of finisher. There was only one real dive but it was a huge one, with Black Dragon pressing up against the corner and going head first over it out of a running start. Despite a lack of major momentum shifts, there were patterns; Heavy Metal took out three guys with his bridging fisherman's suplex. Black Tiger got a couple of lucky fouls in. It ended with La Familia Casas vs Pentagon Black, Black Tiger, and Scorpio, Jr. with Metal outfoxing the rudos' interference for a deep roll up win on Scorpio, Jr. who had done a pretty good job asserting his physicality up until there. There was always something happening with characters that jumped off the screen just enough to keep you eternally engaged. Not at all a bad use of 35 minutes.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman/Joey Mercury NEW 4/28/07

There was a similar handicap match vs. Romeo Roselli the night before and I'm glad we have this one instead. I loved the ebb and flow of it. They started off on the mic with Coachman bringing out Mercury as a surprise partner and teased a bit of Coach getting into it before starting with a big chunk of Mercury vs Lawler. It was all based around punches and it was all very, very good. King snapped his head back for Mercury's, of course, and he had a great tease high, go low that played off of Mercury's reconstructive face surgery.

When it was time for Mercury to take over, it was with a bunch of standard stuff like slams and back body drops but they all looked big and impactful and lived up to the moment. King got a comeback in when Mercury got distracted by the valet but he was able to take back over. Likewise, the first time Coach came in to pick at the bones, he got distracted as well, but they held off him getting his comeuppance. Eventually, Mercury went to the top rope double axehandle well once too often and ate the shot to the gut, the fistdrop, the pile driver. I would have liked them to find a better way to get Coach into the ring after that. He sort of just asserted himself to try to break things up and was pinned anyway. I would have preferred Mercury stumbling back into him or something along those lines. Regardless, he took two of the worst stunners imaginable, so bad that they were comically good, before Lawler pinned him for the feel good moment. There's a really good match with Mercury and Lawler from later in the year that felt more like a Memphis classic, but this was just straight up well executed and laid out and a lot of fun.

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Espectáculos Promociones Panama: Africano! Sandokan!

Sandokan (c) vs El Africano

MD: This was at least ten years after what we've been watching but it bodes well; so long as more of this footage drops, it could be quite good. It was a very different sort of scene with a more familiar sort of arena and much more modern trappings. Africano came out with a guy in a gorilla suit. Sandokan had a belt (ragged looking), a Rob Zombie sounding song I couldn't place, and massive, massive pyro down a WWF style entranceway. Both of them cut promos before the match but it still seemed like there was commentary over the loudspeaker like in the older footage.

As for the match itself, they started off fairly slow with solid but basic chain wrestling and I was thinking that they might have slowed a step as they got a little older. I was incorrect. Before long, Sandokan was doing assisted kip ups and Africano was wildly bumping on armdrags through the ropes on to a very hard looking floor (Sandokan would return the favor later only for Africano to top it with a huge Jerry Estrada style bump). They followed with a bit of legwork, a bit of selling, and some spectacularly impressive blowing off of that selling by Sandokan as he repeatedly landed on his feet out of snap mares. Super athleticism all things considered and such a superhuman exhibition that you couldn't help but forgive how quickly he shook off the pain.

There were certain elements of this match that felt like a more traditional title match and Africano certainly moved in a less stylized and odd way. Sandokan, on the other hand, was a little reminiscent of French Catch masters, between the step-overs on the double knucklelock and the drop down into a Mascaras headscissors "taupe" spin like he was Gilbert LeDuc or something. The finishing stretch had a lot of back-and-forth roll ups and really did feel like the end of a Mexican title match in its own way. Some of the matwork ultimately didn't go anywhere (like a grounded top wristlock where Africano just let go) but in general, this was a very solid match even years after the prime footage that we've been watching. I'm not sure how much of this Furia de Titanes footage exists but it could be even a second meaningful well for Panama if it's at this level.

GB: We’re over a decade later, now, in 1998 and a lot of things have changed. Some for the better, a lot for the worse. Instead of finding lucha parallels, this felt more like a cosplay of something more north of the border, something more American than Mexican. While that’s not inherently a negative, this was a far cry from the feel of Panama we’re getting our toes wet with. Instead of riotous crowds and understated entrances, this was all pomp and pizzazz. Yet a lot of it felt forced, as if Furia de Titanes was an overcompensation for the downward trajectory of lucha libre’s popularity in Panama.

Which, I guess, gives us a good enough entry point to what actually is the “history” of Panamanian lucha. I’ll try to keep this in broad strokes as much as possible because (a) I’m not sure if anyone really is interested in one of my 10,000 word diatribes quite yet and (b) I’m still unpacking a lot of it. Suffice to say, the basics of lucha libre wrestling originated in Panama in 1914 but it wasn’t until 1932 that it was fully capitalised as a vehicle of sports entertainment. Originally more as a way to entertain soldiers, José "Pepe" Motta would approach those garrisoned along the Canal Zone, recruiting them into holding wrestling shows at the Gimnasio Nacional Neco de la Guardia. This would then develop into regular matches which became the underpinnings of the local lucha libre scene. History gets a little hazy until 1956 when Shazán, an olympic wrestler, debuted. He would go on to be known as the “maestro” of wrestling in Panama, dedicating his time to teaching new wrestlers and being the trainer of quite a few successful stars. Though lucha was still very much second fiddle to boxing at this point, the tide was slowly turning. The biggest boxing matches of the time all opened with a showcase of Shazán wrestling one of his students and these matches quickly became novelty draws. To add fuel to the flames, by 1957 Jaime "El Chamaco" Castro was starting to become a household name and Panamanian lucha’s popularity began to increase. Considering how big all of these names would become, it really did feel like lightning striking twice in 1957 with Shazán then training and debuting El Idolo (a man one could argue as neck-and-neck in popularity with Sandokan as a national hero). The closest example I could give is if John Cena, Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan were all hitting the scene at the same time.

Business boomed, and with multiple promotions popping up in the 1960s, it became a race to have the most exciting card. For the next two decades, foreigners from around the Americas and Europe were brought in to face the local stars and Mexican rookies, many of whom we already love and cherish, were sent to ply their craft in the Neca de la Guardia. In terms of influence and economic success, the 1970s were unprecedented. I’d need to delve more into fact checking, but, to put the extent into perspective, there’s a claim that Francisco José Flores and Benjamin Mora founded Promociones Mora y Asociados (LLI/UWA) in Mexico partially off the success of René Guajardo facing El Idolo in Panama.

So, what caused the crash in popularity? I’m not sure. Sandokan claims it to be the result of “bad businessmen” and “untalented wrestlers” but I’m not quite a follower of that line of thought. As I outlined in the introductory post to this series, there’s a lot of singularity in Panamanian lucha. A lot of “sticking with the tried and tested” rather than venturing into the unknown. I’m not going to claim any knowledge, but I’d imagine the political turmoil also had a strong impact on the local scene, too.

Bringing this full circle to my opening post, one could argue Furia de Titanes was trying to break the rut. It was different, I’ll give it that. There were some remnants of the 1980s matches with the commentary over the arena’s PA system, as Matt mentioned, but it still all felt “fresh”. You had Sandokan with full pyro coming out and posing down to the cameras as White Zombie’s Electric Head Pt. 1 blared in the background. The ring was spotlit, leaving the crowd hidden behind a shadowy veil. Promos were more about bravado than anything before. Yet, with our own histories as fans of North American wrestling, nothing was fresh. Not even the blatant racism with Africano being accompanied by Africana and “King Kong” (a wrestler in a gorilla costume). Right down to Felix el Monstruo Piñango and Ernesto Lou Maruri on commentary, Furia de Titanes all felt a little too “WCW-lite”.

Still, there was upside. I’ve grown quite fond of Africano over the past bit. He might have his faults, but he’s game to put over any spot in a big way and he did so here. For instance, the opening matwork led to a big moment as Africano rocketed out the ring off an armdrag. Absolutely bonkers stuff that popped the crowd huge and set the fans steadily behind Sandokan. I get Matt’s criticism that some stuff didn’t lead anywhere, and I do think some of Sandokan’s recoveries came a little too easy but this was more a popcorn title match than anything serious. Sandokan and Africano both bring a unique sense of athleticism to their work and it showed in spades here. So, in that way, I can be more forgiving as it was nice to see some familiarity despite the remarkably different presentation of the promotion.

The match was billed as a “revancha” with Sandokan finally answering Africano’s challenge. I know Sandokan took the title off Africano in 1995 in a match that would be called the “lucha match of the year” by a leading sports critic of the time. Whether this played off that, though, I’m doubtful as 3 years seems awfully long for Panama to hold off on but the booking fits. Regardless, while this wasn’t quite “match of the year” calibre wrestling, it was a fun enough venture into something “different”.

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AEW Five Fingers of Death (and Friends) 4/17 - 4/23

Ring of Honor 4/20

Lee Moriarty vs Konosuke Takeshita

MD: I'm a low vote on Takeshita. That's probably not entirely fair. I'm a relative low vote, which I suppose is what being a low vote means in the first place. Eric manages to be aloof and carries more of a purity in his reviews than I do. I'm as low on Brody because of what he does in the ring (bumping without selling, crummy looking offense, dragging down AJPW tag matches that look fun on paper with his antics), but it feels like a personal crusade because of the pillar he's put on by people who don't revisit his matches. If Takeshita wasn't an absolute darling of the community, voted most Underrated, and looked at as unquestionably (or at least unquestioned) great, he probably wouldn't bug me quite so much.

But he is, but he does. I'm happy to admit it. Just like I'm happy to admit the positives. He has size, to the point where he stands out against the AEW roster. His stuff generally looks good. He stays in the moment and throws himself into his matches and connects with the crowd. The whole "wrote a thesis on the German Suplex" concept is very good when used smartly. There's a lot of upside. In fact, even down to his emoting, he reminds me a lot of Adam Page, not in who he is, but in both a lot of the upside and why he doesn't work for me in many matches. With him, it's just too much, too soon. When he's in a position to work from underneath and have to fight to earn things, the build and the payoff is there. When he's against an opponent whose idea of wrestling gels more with his own, it's a lot of noise and not a lot of resonance. Pop ups and strike exchanges and Germans flying freely. It's kinetic and exciting and I probably would have loved it twenty years ago, but there's no meat on the bone and no substance to the action; engaging in the moment but forgotten with the next spot. So he has great raw talent but instincts that bug me and probably, like Page, a real pride that what he's doing is the right thing. It gets a reaction, doesn't it?

Thankfully, Lee Moriarty is having a pretty solid year so far and he has enough skill, stuff, and focus to keep Takeshita engaged and interested but sticking to a plot. It was a pretty good one too. The AEW house style is one of tease and tease and payoff. Sometimes the payoffs come too early. Sometimes that still works due to the idea of a reversal later on. An early payoff should be momentous and impactful, should change the course of the match. Too often, Takeshita hits something bit early and it doesn't matter nearly as much as it should. Here, he went for the Blue Thunder Bomb twice and Moriarty was ready for it, driving the arm down and opening up the match. Takeshita has a tendency to drop limb selling for bursts of offense, and while he, as the protege of Akiyama can get away with that, it's not often something I personally want to see. Selling isn't something to be done dogmatically for no reason; it's the definition of "reason" within a match. It's the primary way to express consequence to action. Actions are fine. People like actions. Reactions are what gives the story weight. There's a narrative gain to shrugging off selling in order to hit a burst of offense but there's a cost as well, not just to the match and everything that had happened in it, but to every match as it conditions fans that moves are actually not impactful. For guys with a lot of big offense, it's shooting themselves in the foot in the long term. 

Point being, that didn't happen here. Takeshita used the need for a crutch (or at least a splint) as a crutch and it helped explain Moriarty's cutoffs and why he might be able to hit a move but not capitalize. Everything was harder for him. Everything was more interesting as he tried to overcome. He was protected despite having the size advantage and letting Moriarty take so much of the match. Lee looked like a precision killer. The counters and reversals were compelling. Because he was starting from a detrimental point, Takeshita's kickouts and escapes and reversals actually seemed gutsy and resilient as opposed to just it being his turn to get stuff in. You really got the sense it could go either way or that Moriarty had a clear advantage until Takeshita jammed one reversal too many from Lee and dropped him on his skull. Even after that, there was a question of how Takeshita was going to put him away with one arm and without the bridging German (The answer was a knee to the face). Good showing. I don't need every Takeshita match to be limb-based, but because he was willing to commit fully here, it gave him an easy focus to lean into. I don't care what that focus is in most of his matches, so long as it's there and consistent and grounded. Here it was and it made for probably my favorite Takeshita match ever.

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Name a Better 1990s US Women's Match: Madusa vs. Hokuto, Career vs. Title

Title vs. Career: Akira Hokuto vs. Madusa WCW Great American Bash 6/15/97

ER: I thought this was fantastic, pretty easily the best women's match in WCW history. True, there really isn't much competition for that crown, but this match stands on its own. I think it stands above all other 90s American women's wrestling matches, which against is not a huge field but whatever, this match rocks. The crowd that had been so hot for Psychosis/Ultimo had taken a siesta during the next three matches, but Madusa's fired up entrance got them completely back in it. The Quad Cities were so loudly behind Madusa, and the match suddenly felt like an actual Big Deal in spite of the limited build the match received compared to other major matches. The match was much more violent than I expected and really rose to meet the Career vs. Title stipulation. I've seen so many matches worked like the participants didn't understand the stipulations of their own match, that it was incredible to see Madusa really leave it all out there. This was the best I've seen her look in a wrestling ring. Her real strength is her sympathetic selling, which was the driving force of this match. Her energy really elevated this, getting the crowd into all of her comebacks and bringing them into her pain. Akira Hokuto being a little asshole obviously helped with that too. 

Hokuto was in full asshole mode, taking every single opportunity to yank at Madusa's hair, choke her with her boot, stand on her neck and tits, pressing the limits of what a referee would allow. Hokuto's hair whips alone were nasty as hell. These things were a long way removed from Moolah. Hokuto whips Madusa so hard, into extra rotations, releasing late so it looked like Madusa was getting her face bounced off the mat. I've never seen hair whips look this violent. They looked like something a hairy Russian would have done to Shinya Hashimoto, grabbing him by his sideburns. Madusa peppers in comebacks but Hokuto is relentless, and they manage to work a believably back and forth match without it ever feel like they were just taking turns on offense. Both felt like they were fighting to stay in it as it broke down into suplexes and cool messy kick exchanges, each trying to land against tempo. The crowd is so into Madusa. Her quick series of missile dropkicks are thrown devil-may-care, more important to plant her boots in Hokuto's head, neck, and chest than worry about her landing. When she lands funny on an axe handle, the match takes an even more killer turn. 

Now, Madusa is really good at taking Hokuto's offense in this match. Part of that is surely how forcefully Hokuto delivers that offense. Hokuto's piledriver is going to look good no matter what, but Madusa does this great small rag doll sell of it, getting a little RVD bounce and then crumbling off to the side the way piledriver-taking-expert-salesmen Genichiro Tenryu legitimizes the skeletal pain of one. Her excellent selling of Hokuto's violent offense was enough of its own great performance, but after her unfortunately landed brief knee-buckled axe handle, she got to show off a commitment to limb selling that we haven't seen in WCW this year. In this era of WCW, and during the style of this era, all of the guys who knew how to work over a limb also happened to be prominent Get Your Shit In artists. A necessary evil of most wrestlers who can damage a limb. So Madusa gets the opportunity to blow them out of the water by limping her way through the last half of this excellent match. I think only Roddy Piper's sustained knee and hip selling in the Slamboree main event even approaches what Madusa does here, and not very close. Madusa managed to bridge theatrical limping with enough realness and gutsiness that I fully bought into her fighting through an actual injury. She is good enough in this match that one could convincingly talk themselves into the injury being legit, and her gutting her way through the match rather than just end her career on a whimper of a stoppage. 

I just love what she does with this knee injury. I love how and when she acknowledges it: How she limps her way over to do a corner headstand rana; how she pulls off a legitimately all time great powerbomb, lifting Hokuto over her head and throwing her down with the force of Scott Norton and America behind it, hopping around on one leg to sell the shock of Hokuto's impact. It was in the way that she sold her knee just well enough to show that no matter what she was able to hit with a bad knee, Hokuto knew she was dealing with a wounded animal and was never behind. When she hyperextends Madusa's leg with a kneebar or just stands on the bad knee to dig her boot heels in, we feel it. When Madusa drags her dead leg behind her, narrowly avoiding a missile dropkick, her inability to hold the bridge on her German suplex is felt too. The finish is abrupt and cruel. There is no extended torture. Hokuto is cruel but not stupid. She knows she can't leave hubristic openings. When Madusa's leg buckles on a high atomic drop, Hokuto pounces immediately and with no fanfare, murdering a woman's career with a vertebrae shortening northern lights bomb, opting to torture after the match rather than celebrate her victory. 

After her loss, when Mean Gene almost rudely badgers a crying Madusa about whether, in the moment, she actually realizes her career is over. The crowd actually starts a "Leave Her Alone" chant, which clearly rattles Gene as he repeats, almost incredulously, "Leave Her Alone?!" with his face pulled away from the mic. How often have you ever heard a crowd turn on Mean Gene Okerlund? I can't think of a single time. You can't blame the Gobbledy Gooker on Gene, he was merely stuck in that segment and desperate to salvage. Here, he was the sole focus of the fans' scorn, and it was because of the incredibly convincing performance of Madusa.  

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Found Footage Friday: IWRG RETRO~! LAWLER VS DUNDEE~! INOUE~! RUSHER~! EIGEN~! OKUMA~!

Mighty Inoue/Rusher Kimura vs. Haruka Eigen/Motoshi Okuma AJPW 11/20/90

MD: We've covered the Andre match from this show but it's pretty overlooked otherwise. I'll go through most of it in the weeks to come. It was right during the RWTL and weirdly we have a chunk of HHs from this month so we get to see a lot of the different pairings. This match was not actually part of it, I think, as Inoue and Kimura were in it but Okuma an Eigen weren't. One fun thing about this, however, is because Baba was in the RWTL with Andre, these aren't the usual six mans. That means that all other non-Baba parties get more chance to shine and show individual personality. 

For instance, this match is all about Eigen and Eigen's pretty great in it. It starts with handshakes, and Eigen goes so far to bow to Rusher (drawing light applause) before smacking him in the face (popping the crowd big). He then dashes out of the ring and raises his hands in victory. Then, right as he was about to lock up with Inoue, Eigen turns and smacks Rusher off the apron before running away and raising his hand in victory once more. Then, once they've isolated Inoue and Okuma has him in an armbar, Eigen runs across the apron to stand on the top and taunt Rusher and after a tag and a double chop, he dashes across the ring to smack him again, drawing him in so they can double team Inoue some more. Just great heatseeking from a place not known for it. 

The initial comeback is Inoue slipping around to hit a belly to back on Okuma, so when Rusher comes in, he can't get his hands on Eigen. Then, they take over on Rusher so the gratification of it all is even more delayed. Okuma's fun in here, running all the headbutt spots with Rusher, even as they're beating him down, but this is Eigen's show, right up to the point where Inoue holds his leg as he's trying to come off the top on Rusher and he gets everything that was coming to him (which means he does his big trademark spit spot on the apron as Inoue and then Rusher and then Inoue smacks him in the chest). What an underrated jerk. 

Jerry Lawler vs. Bill Dundee Memphis Power Hour 2/25/06

MD: This is a four and a half minute segment but we're contractually obligated to watch all Lawler vs Dundee matches and this was a fun three minutes which could have been an uproarious ten if they gave it the time. It's 62 year old Dundee vs 56 year old Lawler, who happens to be wearing these triple high Stacks boots. They work about two minutes based around the boot, Dundee having the fans mock him, Lawler mocking the even more severe height difference, Dundee selling a kick like death, Lawler falling on his ass with an over the top trip by Dundee. They could have milked this forever and it would have been endlessly funny, but after a few minutes they play to the interference and the match gets thrown out. At least Dundee got to punch Lawler a lot and trip him again though. Very much 1990 heel Lawler with a different gimmick every week but that probably felt refreshing in 2006. It's just a shame there was only a couple of minutes of this.

Freelance/Tortuguillos I y II vs. Los Oficiales (AK47, Fierro y 911) IWRG (Retro) 11/10/2007

MD: This is from the 4/6 IWRG Retro, which fell through the cracks due to being around Mania, I think. There's another match on there we'll cover later. This was one fall by design but also by necessity. We start out with Tortuguillo Azul and 911 and they have some loose but flowing matwork. There's some of that anticipation where they end up where they should be a half second too early (especially 911), but it all comes off like baiting our turtle friend in by the end with the next counter, so it's ine. We get just a bit from Fierro and Tortuguillo Rojo and that's quite a bit more struggle laden. Before we can even get to Freelance and AK47 though, it all breaks down with the rudo swarm. AK47 decides it's a good idea to do the Sid style leaping kick off the apron to the floor. This is pretty horrific mistake as it was for Sid a few years earlier and that's the last we see him for the match.

Los Oficiales are good at pressing their advantage, however, and Freelance is very good at reaching for the ceiling while eating a double back body drop. They make short work of the the Turtles without much incident even being down one partner. Maybe if that hadn't been the case there would have been a spirited tecnico comeback, but as it was, this was a pretty satisfying mauling. 911's crane kick stylings and clumsy fall off the top splash weren't nearly as good as Fierro's way of asserting himself with his size and power but combined they were better than the sum of their parts. Hopefully AK47 was ok.

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Espectáculos Promociones Panama: Africano! Cobra!

El Africano vs El Cobra

GB: Ah, the perennial el Africano. Perhaps not one of the most famous luchadores Panama has had to offer but certainly one of its stalwarts. Africano, then named “Kimba”, debuted at the age of 17 in the early to mid 70s.While the exact date of his debut is difficult to pinpoint, I managed to dig up some old newspaper clippings that show a fresh-faced Africano taking on Relampago in August 1975. Nevertheless, if we’re to believe him in a recent interview, his debut is as universally carny as any other in wrestling:

Africano had been invited to watch a show at the Eneco de la Guardia. Little did he know that the local promoter had secretly planned a debut for him on that very same night. Suddenly, the promoter approached him and said, "You're next." Africano felt a wave of panic wash over him. He was already intimidated by the talented wrestlers surrounding him, and now he was expected to perform in front of a packed arena without any preparation.

"Get your pants off and go out there!" the promoter barked at him. Africano was hesitant, but his nerves were quickly replaced by confusion. There was only one problem: he was underage and the local commissioner, Napoleón, refused his debut without permission from his parents to wrestle. The promoter sent him out in a taxi to find his parents and get the necessary paperwork signed before his match started.

It was like a scene out of a Benny Hill skit as Africano raced against the clock to make it back in time. Finally, with the ink barely dry on the signature, he burst through the doors of the arena just as the announcer was introducing him.

However, a star was not quite born. Back in the 70s and 80s, Africano was often relegated to the lower rungs of the card (this match was second from the bottom of the card, for instance). With bigger names and better wrestlers, he struggled to get his career consistently off the ground until around two decades later. To his defence, he was still relatively young by the time he got more of a break in the 1990s when, amongst other notable accomplishments, he became the sole Panamanian to defeat Mexico’s Mr Jack and win the UWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship.

Still, even as a rookie, he was a legitimately tall, towering presence and, as such, was the perfect “first challenger” programme for Sandokan, fresh off the latter becoming a “triple world champion” in March 1977. While I’ll assume the praise to be heaped on Camacho Castro’s shoulders in getting him that over, the young Kimba/Africano was always viewed by promoters as someone with a lot of promise.

In the match, though, we’re over a decade into his career and Africano is still seemingly stuck in that “promising” stage. Meaning, he was still quite the mixed bag of talent. Also quite the mixed bag of tricks. Africano wears his influences quite apparently on his sleeves. As a teenager, Africano was a student of the Olympic wrestling academy and also dabbled a little bit in gymnastics (acrobatics?) and that certainly plays out in how he wrestles. You get the slight roughness and raw talent in his chain wrestling with the nuttiness in his bumps, too. However, while I think he has some interesting enough ideas, I’m not quite sure he has the acumen to pull some of them off. What I can say, though, is he certainly played to the back with his selling. Cobra is much more the polished wrestler and a lot more alive here than other matches I’ve seen of him where he often disappears into the background in tags or plays second fiddle to his opponent. The highlight of the match came in the moment Matt likens to a “nudo” hold, though I’d argue this is much more the Jim Breaks special just with Cobra rolling Africano around to embarrass him. As an ardent Jim Breaks dissenter, this was the closest I will ever get to my hopes of seeing Rush punt the bejesus out of Breaks and that idiotic spot.

As for the booking, this match here, much like last week’s post, was seemingly done to set up an apuesta at a later date. The ending promo was slightly bizarre with Africano being attended to by the local medics. He’s in a lot of pain but valiantly saying he’s welcoming of an apuesta against Cobra. Really strange for someone billed as the “rudo”. Even stranger for the tecnico Cobra to blindside him up front as he did. I wish I could tell you more but there’s not a whole lot written about either man, let alone this feud. The only tidbit I can add is to Africano’s debut in which, coincidentally, one of his opponents would be none other than Cobra (the full match being: el Barón/Cobra vs Africano/Gemelo Infernal 3).

MD: This was in three falls, with a very short first one. Cobra had a mask and a snazzy cape on his entrance. Africano was black and came out with tribal beads or jewelry maybe? Despite the roles being very clear, Cobra ambushed Africano on his introduction; he was standing on the ropes to look at the crowd and Cobra dropkicked him off and followed it up with a pretty hearty beating before stretching him for the quick pin. Africano slowed things down with some chain wrestling at the start of the segunda, but just long enough to absolutely crack Cobra on the spine to take over. He had some pretty stylized stuff, including this weird shoulder/arm strike off the ropes and a sort of skidding elbow drop and a specific sell job i’ll get to in a moment, but he could hit pretty hard as well.  

After two fairly short falls, they went a little more back and forth, with Cobra trying to come back but Africano shutting him down, until Cobra was able to hit a catapult out of nowhere and things opened up. Cobra followed up with atomic drops and Africano’s true calling was in selling those. Somehow he managed to bump head over heels over the top rope for the first one and then retreated into the corner. For the second, he started hopping around the ring, planting himself twice and then propelling himself over the top like he was doing a Super Mario triple jump. Cobra followed it up by tying Africano into a “nudo” (knot, if you never knew that translation from Blue Panther matches) and then hitting a dive from the top to the floor for a countout win, so it was quite the celebratory finish.  I liked this more on a second watch. The stylized bits of offense and selling were fun and in between there were glimpses of real technique on things like armdrags and some hard shots from Africano.

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AEW Five Fingers of Death 4/10 - 4/16

AEW Dynamite 4/12

Darby Allin vs Swerve Strickland

MD: I was thinking of a format change because the column felt a little redundant in the last month or two, especially when we had five more active fingers and at least two or three of us tackling things. I was thinking maybe a Dark/Elevation match of a week sort of deal which is stuff that gets less attention, but I'll keep powering on for a bit. If we get some Danielson/Omega interaction, I'll lay down my criticisms of Omega, once, and then move on. I'm sure everyone's looking forward to that. 

Strickland's a guy who I had a lot of criticisms about when he was a face, but I really do like him as a heel. A lot of the obtuse offense works better when you're a jerk taunting and stymieing your opponent (and the crowd with it) and the contrived setups should get heat, not applause. I do think that Cassidy vs Matthews was the best AEW match of the week and probably of a month or two, but I have more to say about this one. It was something of an impossible situation. Darby had to win. He's in the main event program. He had MJF coming out after the match. Swerve, too, probably had to win. He had a new faction after his old faction petered out in a weird sort of way that you almost never see in wrestling. There was a point right after his turn that he felt like the number three heel in the company after MJF and Jericho and he had lost a chunk of momentum over time. The new faction isn't exactly a sure thing either. The Embassy is a fine trios champ act over in ROH with big, looming credible-looking monsters, but it needs to be rebuilt to a degree to accentuate Swerve. I like Nana but you can't help but squint and turn your head sideways and think about what the pairing of Swerve and Tully might have been like. 

Anyway, Swerve can't lose, but Darby has to win. Darby having to win trumps Swerve having not to lose, so it's up to the math of the situation and the specifics of the match to avoid misery and failure. The math of the situation had Swerve heated up given the ambush on Darby last week and a bit more heat coming his way through screwing Keith Lee at the end of the show. That is what it is, quantitative pro wrestling booking, the sort you could get from AI or in EWR. Wrestling by numbers and on Tony's newly rearranged booking spreadsheet. 

The other half is the more interesting one. The match had to be laid out in a manner that would put Darby over while keeping Swerve strong, with both of them needing more rub than usual. Thankfully, they had a few things going their way. First, there was the familiarity, seven singles matches between them. That let Darby hit some big moves right from the get go but also had Swerve ready to sweep out the legs and take over. Second, Darby's nature is to work from underneath anyway, so Swerve could take most of this without anyone blinking an eye so long as Darby was ready to fight back memorably. You factor those two things in and mix it with a hearty dose of interference from Nana, and you had Swerve looking dangerous, someone who could win against to talent, or at the very worst, could hurt them badly, which only made Darby getting one up on him at key moments having him look like a worldbeater. Then you give Swerve the ultimate out, hurting his own foot on a high risk move, the sort of thing he needed to keep someone like Darby on the ropes. That didn't lose him the advantage even, but it made him a half step slow on covers and opened him up to the gnarly foot biting by a Darby that was frothing with his own blood. There's an old line of thought that for a heel to keep his heat, he needed a viable excuse; maybe it was the truth, maybe it was a lie, but it had to sound good. If it sounded good and was a lie, then that'd just get him all the more heat. 

So you take all of this and add in the things that make Darby and Swerve special, Darby's selling and speed of execution, Swerve's clarity of focus and reactions in the moment, the offense from both of them that feels stilted and off-center and that pulls your eye in ways you're not expecting, and they pulled off something of the impossible. But that's what Darby Allin does whenever he goes out there anyway, looking like a star while getting beaten around the ring. Swerve will have his moment and while he may not be stronger on paper for this loss, that he was able to manage it with such verve and panache only made him all the stronger in my eyes.

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Found Footage Friday: LAWLER~! KAMALA~! LAWLER AND KAMALA~?! SHOCK~! AWE~! SMOTHERS~! STORM~!

Tracy Smothers vs. James Storm NWA Worldwide 5/13/00

MD: This felt like a big moment for Storm, in his early 20s, clean-cut, wearing black trunks with STORM on them. Apparently the heels (including Chris Champion) had won a stip where they got to decide when and where they wrestled, so even though they'd been booked to face Storm, they were able to send Smothers (being another heel himself) out there.

For the most part, it was by the numbers, but they're numbers I'm pretty fond of. Smothers got on the mic and said that if they chant Tracy Sucks, he'd leave, which he was probably doing in 4th grade math class to taunt the teacher, but it always worked. It was pretty obvious Smothers was leading him around, including all but throwing himself into a headscissors takeover and a 'rana on the comeback (the sort of basing which not only meant taking offense, but overcompensating to make it work) and bumping headfirst on a wheelbarrow reversal into a bulldog. There were a million plucky, athletic, flying babyfaces in the early 00s, and Storm was definitely one of them, but between Smothers' showmanship and a few well placed and unlikely kickouts, they crowd were entirely with him. The finish had Smothers slip on a banana peel and Storm able to turn an attempt at cheating to his own advantage for the big upset win. Post match, he got destroyed by a bevy of heels, but ultimately, primarily thanks to Tracy, he came out of this looking like a real prospect.

Jerry Lawler vs. Kamala Memphis Wrestling Power Hour 5/17/03

MD: Turner had posted a bunch of 00s Memphis a month or two ago but most of those were things that were already out there. This might have been as well but it's not anything we've ever covered. There's a really great match from JAPW in January of 03 between these two. This though, was just great studio TV.

This was nominally set up to be a 2/3 falls (or TV time remaining) match and it's amazing how much they accomplished in so little time. The first fall, if a standalone match, might be one of the best two-minute studio matches ever. Kamala moved around the ring with a variety of strikes and smashes and Lawler propelled himself back after taking each one. Kamala had big energy and presence but Lawler made it work by picking a different part of the ring to retreat to each time. It literally kept things moving. The strap went down after about a minute of it and Lawler was able to fire off shots (including one amazing punch against the huge canvas of Kamala that the camera caught perfectly), staggering Kamala and finally driving him back with a dropkick into the corner, but not able to take him down. When Kamala pushed forawrd despite it, it was a shocking moment as the strap had already come down, but he quickly lost control when he was firing back on Lawler and hit the ref to draw the DQ. Lance was great here, both referencing Lawler's traditional slow starts in how Kamala was destroying him early and then, at the start of the second fall, noting how sprly Lawler had jumped up after the DQ, even despite the strap-dropping not paying off.

Between falls, they had a lady in from a radio show to talk to Corey and a backstage bit with Jimmy Hart trying to pay off Kamala (and Kamala eating the money). The second fall was brisk, with Lawler stepping on Kamala's toes to make an inroad but Hart's people rushing in to cause the DQ. Kamala took offense to this and came to Lawler's aid for a huge pop. This set up a tag match the next week just in the studio, and that almost felt like a shame because this angle should have been able to draw for real. That first fall was masterful. Best two minutes of wrestling you'll see this month.

Jerry Lawler/Kamala vs. Shock/Awe Memphis Wrestling Power Hour 5/24/03

MD: I had to see this play out. Even ten years earlier, it would have led to a big show at the Coliseum. That's not this. It's just another four minute TV match, unfortunately, but they were just building up Shock and Awe. One was Del Rios. The other was a pretty green British monster, the sort that could accidentally do a nice leg drop and an amazing kneeling body slam to Lawler and then immediately get out of the ring because he was blown up and that wasn't exactly sure where to put his body for the double noggin knocker with Jimmy Hart as the ref was throwing things out.

But you're watching this for Lawler and Kamala and they were both individually good but I wish they would have interacted a little more. There was a bit of subdued smugness for Lawler on the idea that no matter how much Shock and Awe might toss him around, he always had Kamala ready to tag in. Eventually, he missed a fist drop and got slammed around a bit more until Rios missed a quizzical flipping senton off the ropes and Lawler kind of waltzed over (respecting the fact he had only gotten beaten up for two minutes or so) for a not-so-hot tag and Hart hit the apron to set up the match getting thrown out. Honestly, if this had another couple of minutes tacked on to each section, there was probably something worthwhile here. As it was, it was fun but not the magical couple of minutes that the singles TV match was.

ER: I know it's just the format we chose for our personal type spacing aesthetics a decade and a half ago, but I really love how we have the match typed out as Shock slash Awe instead of Shock & Awe. It's like the funniest wrong way the local news could get their name. 

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2022 Ongoing MOTY List: Real1 vs. Lince

 

30. Real1 vs. Lince Dorado MLW 5/13 (Aired 7/7/22)

ER: Look, it's been a long time since I've been accused of pretending to like - or dislike - a wrestler just to be a contrarian. Maybe it's the decline in message board usage, maybe it's that everyone now recognizes my honesty and ability to back up my opinions, or maybe it's because we all collectively give less of a shit about pro wrestling arguments than we used to. Why was Mark Henry such a lightning rod? What didn't people see in Comandante Pierroth? Who's to say. I have no interest in pretending to enjoy wrestlers who are actually bad at wrestling. My wrestling writing time is limited these days, so why would I spend time writing about bad wrestlers? I want to write about guys who surprise me, about guys who put in the work and got really good, who nobody else talks about because they - the wrestler - aren't cool in any way whatsoever. With that in mind, it brings me no joy whatsoever* to say that Enzo, the Real1, has gotten really good. 

Enzo and Lince Dorado had at least 30 WWE singles matches in 2017, including a 15 minute (!) lumberjack match on Raw. I'm not going to go back and watch those Enzo/Kalisto matches. Maybe I'll go back and watch the tag with Drew Gulak in it. But those 2017 matches would not be like this match, because these two were very different wrestlers then. I didn't care about Enzo in NXT, didn't care about his 205 Live run, didn't care when he got released, didn't watch anything he did on the indies. But, I am a big Reelz viewer. A Reelz Head. A Reelz1. You tell me where else I can watch Cops, On Patrol: Live, Cops Reloaded, On Patrol: First Shift, and maybe I'll leave my TV on another channel 24/7. One night a few weeks ago, turning on my TV expecting to see my little 4 hour block of Celebrity Autopsy, imagine my surprise when I saw Enzo Amore wrestling in MLW from like a year ago. And then, imagine my surprise when I realized that Enzo had gotten really good. 

Real1 looks like a freak. He's dressed like Ketamine Danny Davis with no tan and fried hair. He was always a big bumper in WWE, but he's evolved his big bumping into being actually good at taking offense. Big bumps are cool, but unique bumps catered to his opponent's offense and done like nobody else are much cooler. I never thought I would say that "I like how Enzo moves" but this is a real gotta hand it to ISIL moment. This match had cool matwork, a big dive, a couple of nasty bumps onto the concrete, and a scuzz bag from Hackensack who knew how to work with Dorado's inconsistent offense. The matwork opening was cool, and look at Real1 grind down a side headlock, or reverse one into a rolling ankle pick. He does some Finlay level violent shit, like yanking Dorado by the arm head and nick first into the top rope on a rope break, but knows that it plays different when he does it. When Finlay would do something like that, he'd come off as a guy leaving some guy's teeth in a pub. Real1 makes it look like something a dealer had to learn to keep his apartment from getting robbed. He fully stands his ground to catch a nice Lince tope suicida, really forcing the contact, generously leaning into everything. 

Dorado got shoved off the top FAR past the ringside mats, real dangerous looking leap to nowhere, but it probably wasn't as viscous as Real1 throwing him into a ringpost with a running splash mountain. He got a real head of steam and threw him accurate, and Dorado hit the concrete really hard. Disgusting. Real1's timing is really good. He knows how to move out of the way at the last step, or get his boot up into a charging Dorado at the last possible second. It makes sequences look more honest, not telegraphed. I loved his sell of Dorado's lethal injection, a move that I hate. He didn't bump to his knees. His soles stayed planted while he bent down into a squat, and snapped up into fast fall to his side, like a beaten rug. You remember Rashad Evans KO'd Sean Salmon, and Salmon's body slumped forward before whipping back like it was under his own control? Real1 did something like that selling the whip of this, the stupidest way anyone has ever hit a cutter. 

Maybe I am going to go back and watch the Enzo/Kalisto matches. 

2022 MOTY MASTER LIST

*it did

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Espectáculos Promociones Panama: Solar! Antorcha! Galvez! JOE Panther!

Solar/Antorcha vs. Sergio Galvez/Joe Panther

MD: This was a very complete match, one that really stands on its own outside of any project, and one that feels like home for anyone familiar with classic lucha trios structure, albeit with a few wrinkles. Galvez was as wild as ever, the kind of guy who would stall and beg off but then will run up and knee you like it's nothing and that will even dash into an incoming chairshot to try to get under it and tackle you. Just a rudo's rudo. Panther was a game partner, looking unassuming as could be, like Panther just happened to be his last name, but he'd also bite you in the eye at a moment's notice. Maybe most importantly, they were up for taking all of Antorcha (black mask with a torch on it) and Solar's tecnico offense:  tricked out armdrags, dropkicks back into the corner or out of the ring, and these awesome labored piece-by-piece quebradoras.

This started with a rudo ambush prevented by Antorcha, leading to a quick tecnico fall. The exchanges that followed were enjoyable, including Galvez crashing again and again into his own partner as Solar ran circles around him. Solar flew a little too close to the sun with a celebratory back headspring after knocking Panther out and Galvez ambushed him, starting the beatdown. This was chaotic, with Galvez beating Solar around ringside, and lasted all the way through the segunda and into the tercera. The moment of comeback itself was as much about Antorcha recovering enough to turn it from 2 on 1 to 2 on 2, but the revenge that followed was enjoyable. These matches tend to be indoor track stadiums, giving loads of room to brawl all over the outside. Here it led to the image of Solar swinging a chair all over the place. While the quick primera might have felt a little out of place to contemporaneous matches in Mexico, the fact they settled in, even after the heat and carnage, into some fun mat exchanges and tandem spots is one of those eternal old lucha quirks.

Of course, this being Panama, they weren’t afraid to lean hard into the heat at the end, with Galvez and Panther switching a chain (or something along those lines) between one another and taking out first Antorcha and then, as he was searching the wrong rudo, Solar as well. But being Panama, it didn’t end there either. The last image we have of the match is the tecnicos fighting back after their loss and the wrestlers pairing off for swinging chair battles.  

GB: In some ways, this was the best possible entry point into this project. It’s very much a Mexican trios formula with the odd trope or two to give us a little glance into what Panama brings to the table. Also, while we have a familiar name in Solar, it’s a role for him in something we’re not quite accustomed to.

This would be Solar’s second visit to Panama and was in July 1986 (though I’m a little iffy on the year). Despite his youthful age, he had been mostly successful in his prior visit, taking local legend Chamaco Castro’s hair in 1979. However, if rumors are to be believed, he would also go on to lose his mask at some point during this stopover. If true, this would make him one of quite a few Mexican luchadores that would lose in an apuesta despite never doing so until much later in their home country (I know Sandokán claimed to have taken Fishman and one of the Villanos amongst others by this point). Regardless, this time, Solar was treated as a big deal. Not as an invader for the local hero to conquer but a foreign idol for attending locals to cross off their bucket list of must see stars.

Perhaps none better to play foil to Solar, then, was Sergio Gálvez. Having debuted in April 1972 as a tecnico under the mask/character of Penado 14, he was given an ultimatum, seemingly much to his chagrin, by promoter Sammy De La Guardia that he would be “Sergio Gálvez”, a rudo, “tómalo o tómalo” (take it or leave it). This would come as Sergio’s best career advice as he adapted to the role like a natural. Source upon source, memory upon memory, remembers Sergio most fondly as “el rudo del rudos” (or, more affectionately to the term than we’re used to, “the most badass of all badasses”). From what I’ve read (and pictures I’ve seen), Gálvez was a bloodthirsty psychopath not unwilling to maim and destroy his opponents with anything on hand.

We get a little taste of it in this match, but this is more a stooging, almost chickenshit Gálvez than the one I had grown accustomed to reading about. Though, I get it. This would be the catalyst to the Gálvez/Solar feud - a tag match that introduced the “best of” Solar to the crowd and whetted the appetite for more. A week after this tag was a “super libre sinárbitro” (no rules, no referee) singles match that I’m sure dialled the violence up. Here’s hoping that drops at some point.

As for the match, it’s more Solar playing dress-up in the “What Would Santo Do?” role. What I mean by that is this is Solar almost beyond what we really know him for. We have a mask match or two, but nothing quite with him playing so far from underneath as this endearing crowd favourite unafraid of getting his mask ripped and taking the fight to his enemy.  Gone are his graceful holds and intricate matwork. Here, Solar is the traveling hero técnico that, quite literally a week later, kissed babies and took care of the sick at the local hospital. Yet, all the while, he was ready to smash a head or two in with a chair after provocation. I was left a little underwhelmed by him in the hair match vs Gálvez but he was more than on point here.

Speaking of the rudos, Panther and Gálvez were long-time partners by now so everything was probably old hat for them. However, the quickness in setting up the opening comedy spots was quite surreal in how flawlessly it was executed. Just beautifully done and made Solar immediately look like a big deal. I’d prefer to avoid going into detail about the match intricacies as I think Matt handles that much better than I could, but I do want to also highlight how the cut offs and beatdowns were meticulously cunning and brutal. There really was a sense that this could have happened in El Toreo or Arena Mexico to much the same effect as it had on the fans here. If you’re a fan of Los Infernales, then you’re most likely going to be a fan of Panther/Gálvez. As the match rolled on, they really did look like the duo some would say terrorized Panama in the 80s and 90s.

The project on an almost daily basis continues to surprise me with novelty finds but I’m probably too far from hoping that there’s a lost Pirata Morgan vs Sergio Gálvez bloodbath hidden in the doldrums of TVC Deportes’ archives. No matter, we have plenty more Gálvez to comb through and a little more Solar to cover. We’ve been blessed enough.

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AEW Five Fingers of Death 4/3 - 4/9

AEW Rampage 4/7

Darby Allin vs. Lee Moriarty

MD: There's always going to be a patina of authenticity around Darby because of his stunt hobbyism. There's a downside to that given that he might arrive at any given Dynamite missing half the fingers on his left hand, but it helps with the suspension of disbelief that's entirely necessary with a guy his size who is constantly surviving the things he survives inside the ring. Here, he got ran over in New York City the day before and had visible bruising up and down his back. That didn't entirely define the match, but it helped to inform it. It certainly provided opportunity and 2023 Moriarty is a guy who is going to make the most of every opportunity he gets.

For him, it wasn't just the bruised back to give him one of the two focuses he needed to believably control this match (the other being 6' 10" with a great big boot and the range to smack someone off the apron and able to interfere right in front of Rick Knox as one is want to do). It was also the opportunity to wrestle Darby Allin, a guy in a title program, on live TV, and take most of the match. That's not too surprising against Darby given that he gives up most of the match against most opponents, but there's a pretty deep hierarchical difference between these two, and Moriarty was able to take it even further than most, jamming and avoiding most of Darby's big comeback spots. 

If you go back to the site looking at Moriarty in 2019, I think there was always the sense that he had a hard edge underneath some of the more gimmicky and over the top matwork. That edge was hone sharp over the last two years and you're more likely to see the spark of iron against iron in a current Moriarty match. Here there was a fairly extended feeling out process, but it always felt competitive and led to Lee sneaking shots in to Darby's back. When he really took over after Big Bill's boot on the outside, it was as much nasty stomps to the spine as anything else. Of course, when "anything else" includes a beautiful Reinera to twist Darby in half, you end up with very little to complain about overall. Eventually they cycled into a pin exchange that as much about Darby being desperate as about trying to win. That led to the code red and the singular visual shock of Allin zigging instead of zagging and pinballing Big Bill with a dive before hitting the coffin drop for the win. Good showing by both guys here along Darby's path to the main event.

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WWF 305 Live: Boss Man vs. Barbarian!

Big Boss Man vs. The Barbarian WWF Royal Rumble 1/19/91 - EPIC

ER: These two had at least 20 house show matches over the three months preceding this match, and you can tell they used that time to hone something special. Two big guys going 15 minutes, knowing exactly how and when to peak the crowd, keeping up an always-impressive pace the whole time. There's no way they could have been going this hard on house shows, hitting each other this hard, taking bumps this hard; but whatever they were doing in those 20 or so matches over 3 or so months, totally paid off. 

This fucking match was following the excellent Rockers/Orient Express opener! That tag is always talked about as one of the great PPV openers and it really does hold up as one of the best WWF tag matches of the 90s. That, and it was 20 minutes long. It was 20 minutes long, with a ton of action! Boss Man was leaner in 1991 than he'd ever been in wrestling, but it would have been crazy to have expected him and Barbarian to go out there right after and work another match with high action and fast pace. 

Speaking of fast pace, Barbarian stalls on the floor for well over a minute after the bell, a huge man in a He-Man fur loincloth and fur boots. His legs literally have the same shape as a He-Man figurine. His beard is grown as full as it has ever been grown. Son of Crom versus a Best Shape of His Life Corrections Officer is an episode of Deadliest Warrior that we never got to see, and it's worth the wait. Two behemoths stalling is always good, but two behemoths stalling and then beating the hell out of each other is among the greatest possible match types. Soon Barbarian is holding Boss Man by the collar and uppercutting him, before running into a the sole of his boot, and all is right.  

Boss Man is lean and his speed is incredible. When he clotheslines Barbarian to the floor, his impact is so fast and full that both fly to the floor too fast. Boss Man always carried a lot of "head of steam" speed at his heaviest -  a fat guy skiing down a mountain with his poles tucked to his sides - but whenever he leaned out he did every single movement with real speed. There's a spot I don't think I've ever seen him do, where he gets his leg stuck in the bottom and middle ropes so naturally that I had to rewind a few times to see just how he did it. It's either a lucky fluke or a tremendous magic trick, but there's a lot of evidence on his side that it was something he thought of and executed flawlessly. Fewer workers have been better at integrating the ropes into their matches. Here he got knocked to the apron with a strike and looked like he was just going to slow his descent by grabbing the ropes, settling on the apron to stop a bump to the floor. Instead, he managed to fall through to the apron while hooking his leg on the ropes in a way I haven't seen him do, perhaps feeling out a signature bump that would be a a new version of Andre getting his arms caught. Boss Man is truly one of the most rewarding wrestlers to reassess. I wonder why he doesn't get talked about to the same level as John Tenta by stock rising warm revisionists. Boss Man's work ages even better in every era, beyond just the incredible 1993 AJPW run. One of the true greatest wrestlers of the 90s. 

Barbarian's toolset was deepening by 1991, and he hung in with everything Boss Man wanted to do. When he repeatedly fell onto Boss Man with elbowdrops it always looked like a lot of weight hitting a lot of weight. They successfully gradually transition the match from fast paced big man war into big nearfall tiring fight: Boss Man throwing fatigued punches to come back, missing a hard chest-first charge into the corner, Barbarian's high bridge school boy an excellent close kickout nearfall. All of the nearfalls felt like plausible finishes. When Boss Man catches Barbarian in a delayed landing hot shot, the crowd clearly thinks it is the finish. Their shocked screams when Barbarian's foot barely finds the ropes is the reaction you hope to be in the middle of whenever you buy tickets to any wrestling show. The ending stretch is underwhelming when compared to the match as a whole, but it still managed to effectively convey a fight between weakening mammoths. When a primitive man in fur piledrives a humongous southern jailer, we forgive the sloppiness of the piledriver, and celebrate the danger involved in a 300 lb man dumping a 330 lb man upside down. The 1-2 punch of Orients/Rockers and this match stands high among any opening 1-2 punch of any WWF PPV. 

WWF 305 LIVE MASTER LIST

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Found Footage Friday: RIP BUTCH~! FUJIWARA~! SUPER TIGER~! VALENTINE~!

Yoshiaki Fujiwara vs. Super Tiger 10/12/97

MD: This was quite the spectacle, over ten years off from their classic series of matches. This never really gets the chance to get going, as it's stopped and started a couple of times, the most meaningful being when Inoki charges forth to demand it. That said, there are interesting wrinkles, like Sayama putting so much of his efforts (once the kicks fail to work given Fujiwara's defense) on a rear naked choke. That makes sense given the time and it's interesting to watch Fujiwara try to play defense and escape while he's in that specific hold put on by this specific wrestler. You get glimpses, specifically him tossing his head back repeatedly and the flip side, being Sayama throwing his fists into Fujiwara's ribs or his elbows down upon his head over and over. Given time, it would have been interesting how Fujiwara's defense might have turned the tide but this was too disjointed to have that play out. Post match, Inoki slaps Fujiwara and that's as fitting an end to this one as anything else I guess. 

Los Pastores vs. Joe Savoldi/Al Perez WWC 1985

MD: Thought it would be good to look at a few crates matches for Butch since he just passed away. For Puerto Rico, either things have been covered or they're just clips. I'd love full matches from the 97 run, for instance, but we're not going to get those. This was posted a year or so ago and even if it was out there previously, I doubt it was looked at heavily. Savoldi and Perez are Los Rockeros, both with mustaches and pastels. This was more or less to set up the Invaders running in after the match got thrown out but it's fairly complete and a good look at just how good Luke and Butch were playing the basic beats. They fed early, leaned in the middle, and backpedaled on a comeback before chaos took over, but the timing was spot on with the cutoffs and there was a wonderful brutality to just jamming a knee down onto Savoldi's skull again and again and again. All the while they were making the alien facial expressions that would let them be beloved babyfaces later, here inspiring horrified reactions instead. Savoldi and Perez were the dropkick heavy Fabs clones, not nearly as good as the Rock'n'Roll RPMs would be a few years later in Puerto Rico but certainly passable with a team like this and Savoldi took a beating well. This wasn't a bloody spectacle but it was pretty damn professional and likely set up something with real heat.

Bushwhackers vs. Greg Valentine/Larry "Ace" Green WPW 6/12/99

MD: The narrative has come pretty far in accepting that the Sheepherders' retirement package, dealing with the same brutal travel schedule that the rest of the WWF teams had to but being the beloved Bushwhackers, wasn't, in fact, the worst thing in the history of wrestling, but instead something to be cherished and approved of. That said, it still leaves behind that they were pretty damn good at being the Bushwhackers and accomplishing what they set out to do in their matches. It meant relying upon different muscles and instincts than what they did before, but it still took two experienced journeymen to pull it off, especially when you consider that their matches were going to be lacking so much of what contemporary babyface teams like the Hart Foundation and Rockers were doing. Without action, they had to rely upon timing and selling, building up that tension for the hot tag and relying upon their opponents to stooge and feed and help them come up as credible, no matter who they might have once been.

From the look of it, this was a pretty well attended event in Fort Smith, AR, and the crowd was up for the whole thing. Some of that was the star power involved. A lot of it was Butch working the apron. And probably more was Luke flailing and writhing and being a constant ball of concentrated motion in his selling. There were no big bumps but he simulated pain and desperation as he tried to fight back. Meanwhile, you had Greg Valentine, conductor of so many professional Brutus Beefcake tags there to direct traffic. He may have been 46 himself, but he just had to drop elbows upon Bushwhacker skulls and work over that leg and cut off the ring even when you thought Luke was going to make it through his legs for a tag. Green was a game partner, more than happy to miss a legdrop or a big splash when the match required a bump and with a look and offense that made him feel like he fit in the match. When the hot tag finally came, the crowd popped for it and for the entire revenge laden finishing stretch, right down to the heel miscommunication that spelled the end for Green. Again, there was nothing complicated about this act, but that doesn't mean it was easy. If they weren't as good at their craft, there was no way the Bushwhackers could have distilled so much from so little to such effect.

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Espectáculos Promociones Panama: Introduction/Statement of Purpose

MD: If you could go back to this time in 2021 and tell me that we could watch footage from the late 80s that would be a mix of Mexico and Puerto Rico with crowds that lived and died for what they were watching, with a number of local heroes and villains that could brawl, stooge, fly, and take it to the mat, and that would let us see brand new matches with the Brazos, LA Park, Solar, Misterioso and others? Sounds pretty good right? That’s Panama and we’re lucky enough to end the French Catch footage project during a moment in time where a new match is being posted every week.

We’ve covered a good amount so far during New/Found Footage Friday, starting by just jumping in and trying to make sense of it and then, as we got our bearings, focusing more on the matches with familiar faces that we couldn’t deny. That said, we’ve only covered around half of what’s been posted so far, with new matches posted almost every week (and promised to last quite a while to come by the uploader) and a few other veins that we’ve uncovered.

While we could keep looking at a match here or a match there during FFF, the footage itself deserves a more focused and centralized approach. Much like what we saw in France, this is an entire culture of wrestling that has never been examined by dirtwriters, tape-traders, message boards. There’s no 80s Best of Panama set. Before the footage started to drip out, I’d maybe seen one match, maybe, and was certainly unaware of Sandokan or El Idolo, the Gemelos Infernales or Gigante Takaki. Yet, they’ve always been there bleeding and brawling and posturing in front of near-riotous crowds. And now we have a chance to learn about them one match at a time, often not knowing what we’ll get each week, not knowing what familiar figures from Mexico may drop in, and not knowing what Panamanian talents will stand out as amazing.

All good stuff then, but I’m especially excited about delving into this footage since I won’t be doing it alone. I’ve got with me someone who is super knowledgeable with the sort of unique and thoughtful opinions we love here at SC, who’s just as interested as I am in the footage, and who has been going behind the drops and researching Panamanian lucha. So with no further hesitation, let me turn things over to Graham to introduce himself and talk a bit about the territory as a whole.

GB: Wow, thanks for the glowing praise, Matt! It’s really an honor to be part of this with someone I’ve held in such high-esteem over the years and on a blog I’ve cherished for even longer.

I guess an introduction might be in order. I think some viewers here may know me as “Rah” around several wrestling forums and (less so) on Twitter as @Rowdy_Rahddy, the occasional uploader of lucha libre and other novelty matches. I’ve also left the occasional reply here over the decade I’ve been a lurking fan of Segunda Caida. Despite being a few years into my own, Matt’s “lucha journey” really resonated with me and kept me reading, again and again, through each post. He has helped shape a lot of my own thoughts on wrestling and inspired me to look at things in entirely new ways so I do feel as if I have some awfully big shoes to fill here; not only in terms of providing something useful to this project but almost as a “protégé” to Matt. Equally, Phil’s “digging in the crates” approach to wrestling is pretty much the reason I’m here. I’ve traversed some deep rabbit holes in order to find something both unique and awesome to bring to a wider audience. Suffice to say, nothing really grabbed me as Panama has. Here’s hoping it does the same to you, too!

Focusing on the footage, Espectáculos Promociones Panama is the namesake of the promotion in which most of our footage will most likely come from (with the majority airing in the programme Llaves y Costalazos). The matches appear to be randomly chosen by the uploader, with the odd fulfilled request from commenters. Even though there’s an element of randomness to it, our matches seemingly all appear to be within the 1986-1989 frame so far. How deep the library goes I’m not sure. I had offered to buy the tapes from the uploader over a year ago but that transaction fell through. Suffice to say, the claim is “a large quantity” of “unpublished and thought to be lost” material. Through another avenue, I have also received around 25 matches completely unlisted, no names and no dates, for me to somehow work through but more on that niggle later.

It’s quite unfortunate that we seem to be in the tail-end of lucha libre’s stranglehold over Panama with regard to the footage. We can see it in some of the matches where the stands look quite deserted but, assuringly, the fans are as rabid as ever in their support, despite their smaller numbers. That said, Sandokan would still continue proving himself a box-office sensation, but it seemed the popularity of the sport found its heydays between the 1960s and early 1980s.

Speaking of him, while not quite the historical icon that El Santo was, El Sandokan quickly became a national hero. He would go on to sell out arenas and break attendance records for sporting events across the country (most notably in apuesta matches alongside Mexico’s Anibal). No small feat for a country that produced one of the best boxers of all time in Roberto Durán!

With all this said, there are some caveats that come with my research. Firstly, and, perhaps, a little less importantly to you, Spanish is my fourth language so I do miss some nuance to the articles or social media posts that I’ve scoured through. For myself, this is quite daunting as Matt and I are (seemingly) the first commentators in the Anglosphere to tackle Panamanian lucha.The onus is quite heavily on me to represent this newfound niche as best I can and that’s what I promise to do. Secondly, and most frustratingly, Panamanian lucha appears to be quite monolithic. By sheer luck I’ve put some dates to things but I have cards in the 1970s that are, top to bottom, indistinguishable from those two decades later. What we know, we know and what we don’t, we won’t, basically. On the plus side, we will have some (very) familiar favourites along with us for the ride, I guess?

MD: Given the flow of footage, we'll probably end up doing one match a week starting next week. We might go back to some that we've already covered for NFF/FFF if Graham has done research and has insight on it. We're delving into a historical territory that hasn't had a lot of coverage in English. Hopefully people follow along and have fun with us on this journey too.

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AEW Five Fingers of Death 3/27 - 4/2

ROH 3/30

Eddie Kingston vs Christopher Daniels

MD: There was a lot of reason to question just what the difference between AEW and ROH would be. There's overlaps on the roster. Most of the belts overlap to some degree, especially once AEW introduced trios titles. Calling out the Pure Title and a few different wrestlers didn't quite cut it. From the PPVs alone, you couldn't really tell. They were a bit more "dream match" focused, but it's not like AEW didn't main event Dynamite week before last with a "dream match." We're a month in now and the difference is pretty clear. ROH is for the 5%, those 15K people subscribed to Honor Club, the most focused of the focused, the list-makers and tape traders and match analyzers. It's Tony getting to talk to his own people without any of the constraints or the chains or the pressures of TV. It's him working out of those old battered notebooks in a controlled environment, to have fun, and to share with like minded people.

And it's pretty great. No commercial breaks. No start-of-show constraints. No time marks to hit. A goal, vague, off in the distance, with the next PPV, but very much wrestling for the sake of wrestling. Obviously Eddie Kingston and Christopher Daniels can work in that environment. As much as anything else, this match was there to show that Kingston could take what Daniels threw at him and outright outwrestle him; this presented him as a leveled up challenge to Claudio. I think the commercial breaks force heel control and the build and comeback narrative that comes with that to matter more on AEW TV; it forces things to be less 50-50, but that doesn't mean every match needs to be that way. That doesn't mean that every wrestler needs those sort of structural training wheels and constraints. These two could work in counters and transitions to make the momentum shifts measured and meaningful. In some ways, Kingston is a perfect opponent for Daniels to highlight his strengths and minimize his weaknesses. He hits harder and heavier than he did twenty years ago, age bringing him down to earth and letting him kick the dust up, but Eddie's going to lean into everything and encourage that all the more. So they went out there with no constraints but the goal they were trying to accomplish and went at it and it gave Eddie that extra little push and that extra bit of credibility leading into the PPV. If ROH only exists to give them the freedom to ply their trade and Tony the freedom to create exactly how he wants to create, it's still a pretty worthwhile endeavor if you ask me.

ROH Supercard of Honor 3/31

Claudio Castagnoli vs Eddie Kingston

MD: I'm writing this Monday morning before the Ringer post goes up but I'm certain I can't outwrite Phil on this one. A lot of this writes itself, really, with Eddie, whose best and biggest matches over the last few years have all been about proving himself either against someone who doubted him or against the weight of his own inspirations and history itself, being as Eddie as possible. He wore his pride on his sleeve, congealed it into toughness and intensity, with Claudio's own pride as an athlete and champion and pinnacle of excellence being the perfect contrast. You could write paragraphs about that and they'd be as primal and rousing as the match itself. 

So, let's talk about selling instead. You know who I'm a low vote on? Takeshita. I think he's got amazing physical skills and great charisma but pretty crummy instincts and takes shortcuts. Case in point, when Willie Mack finally hit the Stunner (that he had worked to hit throughout the match, as is the AEW/ROH style - see Eddie's tope suicida here) Takeshita popped up, hit a spot, fell down. I get the arguments about fighting spirit and delayed selling. I'm not so rigid and dogmatic that I don't think that's ever ok, but I do think that there's a cost every time something like that happens. Meaning in pro wrestling is entirely based on selling. Selling isn't just showing showing pain, it's showing consequence and turning physical impact into emotional impact. Wrestling is about creating an expectation in an audience over time and then subverting that expectation when it matters the absolute most. They absolutely nailed that with the one-count kickout of the Neutralizer. It might not be Claudio's primary finisher anymore now that he's been using the swing, that he's been getting wins with the European uppercut, that he's able to use the Ricola Bomb (and presumably the UFO) again, but it's something he gets wins off of, and Eddie kicking out at one sent a bolt of electricity through the crowd. Maybe that's the entire point that makes my misgivings meaningless that Takeshita's pop up after the Stunner didn't matter; the crowd went up with a gasp for Eddie anyway, but when you're creating an immersive experience, consistency over time matters. I guess what I'm saying is "save the most impactful bits of narrative stretching for the main event." It was still a great moment though and one that fit the characters and where they were in the match perfectly. 

Let's talk about the leg selling then. Early on, after losing a strike exchange and getting flustered and trying to bring a chair in, Eddie went low to the knee. Claudio powered through this, while selling the damage for the next few minutes and then they moved on from it for the most part. Every match is its own unique story and own unique bit of execution. There are times where that would actually bug me, not for its own sake, but for how it played out within the confines of the match. Sometimes limbwork is done to kill time. Here, it was utilized as an equalizer, a key. Eddie didn't want to win the match with a figure-four. He wanted to win it with the Stretch Plum. He had wanted to submit Jericho with the Stretch Plum and Claudio had stolen that from him. He wanted to knock Claudio out with the backfist. He wanted to drive his skull through the mat with the Northern Lights Driver. Where I have a problem is when the legwork is an end unto itself that is then ignored as they search for another end. Here it was a means, and the means was to open Claudio up to the things Eddie wanted to hit him with, to slow him down but just enough that Claudio couldn't power straight through Eddie's preferred attacks. It provided Eddie for opportunities to chip away at Claudio how he wanted and because of his overt decision not to stay on the leg, Claudio was able to shake that one set of pain off as he was rattled by shots to his head and body. The selling was consummate to the limited attack (and Claudio's own usage of his leg) and when it was time to move on from it, no one watching the match closely had reason to outright wonder why Claudio wasn't limping anymore. They were too busy watching Claudio fighting for his life to stay in the match and keep his title in the face of Eddie's broader assault instead.

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WWE WrestleMania 39 Night One Live Blog 4/1/23

 

1. John Cena vs. Austin Theory

ER: Just once I want one of those Make A Wish kids to go into business for himself. Eventually, one of them has to realize that they have full diplomatic immunity, a Get Out of Jail Free card that has unlimited uses. One year we're going to get a MAW heel turn and that kid will burn out a legend. Cena and I have the same exact bald spot and he has the exact same Miller's Outpost jorts that I had in 6th grade, so clearly I'm pulling for him. Cena sells Theory's punches very generously but I like how Theory bit his way out of the STF. Theory throws stomps with the same physical movement as Randy Orton, but doesn't have the finishing strength of Orton's stomps. Cena's stumbling and staggering is what's making this. The way he staggered down to a knee when Theory jumped on him during the sleeper, but I'm not sure any of it was as good as his Namaste prayer hands before doing the five knuckle shuffle. The fistdrop itself was thrown better than he typically threw it over the last decade. 

2. Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy vs. Ricochet/Braun Strowman vs. Viking Raiders

ER: Otis looks fatter since last I saw him, which shows he's a man who truly understands the Grandest Stage of Them All. You want to play to the back row? Fatten up my boy. Ivar's dumb spin kick hit harder than I expected, Erik's knee lift looked good, and the fucking Doomsday clothesline was fucking murder. The tandem powerbomb on Ford looked great but goddamn replay that clothesline. They really should have built longer to Gable hitting the rolling German on Braun. I mean it looked cool, but how cool would his Dead End have looked towards the end of the match after already trying it a couple times? His missed splash is full commitment and so is Ivar's missed moonsault, and capping it with a treacherous shaky Braun top rope splash that hits was sweet sweet icing. Braun's splash looked like the kind of splash we don't get enough Today: messy, and performed by those who do not normally go to the top rope. The tower powerbomb spot was unnecessary and beneath what they had been building to, even if I liked the twist of Ricochet riding Ford down like Clark Griswold hanging onto his ladder. They had been doing a good job mixing up pairings and they took too long tying up every man. But Braun's long stretch of ringside shoulderblocks being blown up by Dawkins made this great again. Dawkins hit Braun as hard as he could too. That shoulderblock would have given me a lifetime injury. Then Ricochet hits the most gorgeous springboard shooting star press balls first into Dawkins' face. For a wrestling company who forgot how to film wrestling a couple decades ago and has seemingly got even worse at it, they set up and shot the shoulderblock and shooting star perfectly. Ford's pin breaking and match winning splash was good. This was good. 

3. Logan Paul vs. Seth Rollins 

ER: I haven't watched any WWE program since Elimination Chamber, but the hype video for this match has made me more excited than I've ever been to see a Seth Rollins singles match. I also know really next to nothing about Logan Paul, only that I've loved everything he's done in pro wrestling. I don't think I'm ever going to understand what Seth Rollins' vibe is supposed to be. Is he like if Willy Wonka was a farmer's market jock? A hipster mom who is obsessed with being the one in the friend group who keeps up with trends? Is he just a guy who misses a big stomp by about 7 feet while wearing attention pants? He's the kind of guy who wears big eyeglasses without needed eyeglasses?  

I like how Logan Paul uses his boxing sparingly. I bet most in his position would do feet shuffling Shane McMahon bullshit. Paul understands to use 1-2 punches to mean something, doesn't have enough of a Wrestler Brain to do unnecessary strike exchanges. He makes his punches into actual turning points of the match. Rollins' triple suicide dives look better than normal, because Paul walks into and towards each one. Usually Rollins' opponents just stand still waiting for contact, leaving Rollins to just lightly bounce off, looking like he was trying not to hit the guy he was trying to hit. Paul walked into these and took growing, appropriate bumps backward in reaction. Find me Rollins dives that look better than these and we'll see a pattern with the opponents' catches. The KO punch nearfall was great and Paul's high leap into the sitout powerbomb was like prime Juventud. 

Bye Bye Bitch is a line that can be pulled off by John Early, but it can't be pulled off by Seth Rollins. High end nearfall after the pedigree and Paul's missed splash through KSI, who I have heard referred to as Logan Paul's Business Partner. Michael Cole calling for YouTube Phenomenon KSI to Capture Another Viral Moment is a 0.6 on the Fallon/Hilton Scale of poor shilling. Literally every nearfall in the match worked great, and the only thing wrong with the match is the company's insistence on keeping the old tired stars at the top at the expense of the young hungry rising stars. I wonder what the actual percentage of WWE in-ring employees are actually pissed off about how much better Logan Paul understands wrestling than they do? Or do they not actually realize this, because they don't understand wrestling as well as he does? 

4. Dakota Kai/Iyo Sky/Bayley vs. Becky Lynch/Trish Stratus/Lita

ER: "You gotta take the WWE Universe out of this early," is such a sucky commentary sentence. Becky Lynch is better as a heel because she's better at taking offense than doing offense, so the match being structured around Damage Control cutting her off from a low energy Lita was smart. She hung in for Sky's nice springboard dropkick. Lita always manages to look like she's never actually gone running in her life. Lita has the worst body language of anybody in the ring so it's a weird choice to keep such an extended heat segment on her. Trish is more explosive but also sells way better. Her reactions to Bayley kicking at her and talking shit would have had the right kind of glowering eyes reaction. Lita just kinda flops around like a fish, like she's trying to make a baby laugh. Trish's assisted handstand rana to the floor gets some set-up excuse because the finished product and Kai's crash into Sky looked good. Hats off to Trish for running face first into Bayley's baseball slide too. After praising the camera work in the tag scramble, I gotta wonder whose decision it was to keep the camera on Lita during this match's breakdown. Mae Young's stomach kicks never looked as bad as the kicks Lita threw here. If someone wants to volunteer their time to a Segunda Caida project that I personally do not want to do, your feature here can be documenting every single part-time model WWE ever employed who threw a better stomach kick than Lita. Remember all those Diva search competitions that I assume some people watched? How many of them were actually worse than Lita here? I can't imagine many were. Dawn Marie and heel Torrie Wilson only look like Fujiwara-level legends in comparison. 

5. Dominik Mysterio vs. Rey Mysterio

ER: Seth Rollins can wear all the try hard entrance jackets he wants, it will never be as good as Dominik's shitty spiked Hot Topic Alucard coat and his entrances will never be as good as Dominik wearing that coat out of an ambulance in his father's mask. Jeers, however, for Rey's American Made-era Hogan gear. That's like the second worst Hogan era next to the N-word era, or the Nick prison phone call era. I think those were the same Hogan eras. Rey goes to the belt whipping way too early. My mom used to use a wooden spoon, but you don't START with the wooden spoon. Even she knew that you throw a slipper or flip flop before you go to the wooden spoon. This isn't as good as it should be, and that's too bad. Seeing them doing armdrags and some of these other exchanges feels like them working some other match, where they were still tag partners but were forced to work 5 minutes of a gauntlet against each other. Dominik's mom held back too much on the slap, even the water thrown into Aaliyah's face didn't sting like it should have. It gets better when Dom really starts killing his father with a Michinoku driver, but there weirdly isn't any kind of father vs. son vibe. It just feels like a Finn Balor Smackdown match. The late match interference shouldn't be the thing adding energy to your match. Santos Escobar shouldn't be getting the big dive in your father/son match. This was a let down. 

6. Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

ER: I think Charlotte is leaning more into her Drag Queen era and I hope she keeps leaning harder. Has that been the entire point of The Queen run and I've just missed it? I haven't watched for a long time. I love David Arquette's wrestling, and Charlotte could be a really good Alexis Arquette. Her puffer vest robe is incredible, like she's the Cruella de Vil of litigious Aspen ski slope house wives. The shoulderblock exchange looked good, and Charlotte full assed the lariat that sent Rhea to the floor. That's a good sign for this one. Charlotte's knife edge chops do read more like a drag routine strike than an actual knife edge chop. The wrist action is all wrong, which makes it either bad wrestling or too on-the-nose for a drag routine. Rhea is a strong body vice and I liked the way she fought up from her back out of it. Rhea working as poor man's Dump Matsumoto is really good. The Queen Smells Blood sounds like an incredible drag revue, and Charlotte's chops suddenly come to life during her comeback. I like how Rhea staggered and knee buckled to her feet to lift Charlotte, and the head spike DDT reversal looked awesome.  Their showdown strike exchange stunk, but Rhea's stomach kick and foot stomp to stop the nonsense was a good way to snap out of it. I think I like them doing a messy 2003 GHC Title match the longer they do it, but it started iffy. Once Rhea dropped Charlotte on her face with a suplex it looked like Rikio/Takayama. One of the biggest appeals of Takayama's brilliant early 2000s was that he understood the value of a horse faced weird body wrestler getting suplexed on their face. The big nearfalls worked even if the moonsault press is still going to be overshot. Middle buckle Riptide with a high folded pin is a good 2003 NOAH finish. I'm happy Rhea won this. The shot of her holding the belt with the Actually Cool WWE Babylon Oscars stage lording over her was a great visual. 

7. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. The Usos

ER: This starts real slow and I'm not sure Jey's side headlock was good enough for the slow start. Sami's big bump to the floor and Jey's elbow suicida kick it into gear though. Jimmy is better cast as the guy who cuts off the ring from the apron than the guy controlling the heat, so not all of the Uso control felt like it was working. Owens' hot tag was necessary, swan dive and frog splashes a nice kick back up. This had a tough act to follow but I'm surprised at what a Regular Match this feels like, even with Owens' dives. Sami's big splash felt a little anti-climactic after Owens had already done like 5 variations of that same thing, but this crowd loves Sami and that's cool. I just wish it didn't feel like such a major step down from where he was at Elimination Chamber. I didn't feel the drama of all the superkicks, and there was a mistimed Sami kickout that was supposed to be BIG but the crowd reacted dead silent. The reaction was there for the 1D kickout and Jey was good enough at the in-ring monologue portion of the evening. Some of it felt too I'm Sorry, I Love You and I knew they had the potential to hit there I'd rather them lean into more ass kicking. All of the Usos tandem superkicks were really well timed. They threw a half dozen of them and they all managed to connect at the same time. That's a really impressive consecutive success rate on that. This is easily Michael Cole's best call of the night, as his energy - which usually feels like an alien trying to blend in - actually captured the mood the more the crowd began to Believe. 

Best Matches: 

1. Logan Paul vs. Seth Rollins

2. Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

3. Tag Scramble

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