Wrestlemania 31 Several Days Later Not-At-All-Live Blog

Not really excited for this show and truthfully kinda wiped after attending Evolve 40 and the WWN Supershow this weekend, but we've kinda established this trend and now we're stuck with it!!!

1. The Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. The New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

ER: Oh man the Uso's 49ers gear is awesome. Love that red and gold. It mildly annoys me that JBL and Cole act like the Usos running corner hip attack was an old Rikishi move, when it wasn't at all. It was Umaga. This match actually got a ton of time and was really fun. They found something for everybody to do and it wasn't a standard "EVERYBODY HIT THEIR SHIT IN 4 MINUTES!" Naomi got a few great moments hitting a wild dive over the top and nailing Nattie with the Rear View, which I actually think it maybe the best butt-butt in the history of wrestling. Great spot for her. Cesaro gets some fun cut off spots, Kofi/Big E's finisher hits great, Torito gets a big dive, Uso hits a million superkicks, etc. The whole thing was worked exactly how it should have been, and got tons of time to succeed. Nice start to things.

2. Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

ER: Even though I'm so-so on him I'm glad they gave KENTA a few showcase spots in this. Crowd dug it too. Him beating down and booting Bo Dallas over the top was great. KENTA also had a great section with Goldust. Goldust looked killer all throughout this throwing the best right hands you'll see to everybody that came close to him. Zack Ryder took a great elimination bump right on his face. Loved the Big Show elimination tease with Show using CORE STRENGTH to keep his feet from touching. Really so far there's been nobody looking bad in this. Nobody pussed out on their eliminations, everybody was taking big tumbling splat bumps. I had predicted Mizdow winning this thing and the final showdown with him and Show was great, and I know it's a pointless pre-show battle royal that they've already proven means jack shit (with the almost immediate de-push of Cesaro last year), but why put Big Show over in this? Give Mizdow a fucking moment.

Ladder Match!

3. Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Dolph looks like he was playing beauty school in the back with his little french braid. Opening dive train was good with Cody's great Falling Star, Ziggler getting launched on a backdrop, Harper hitting a big tope, Ambrose hitting the elbow drop off the tallest ladder. Stardust's missile dropkick to a ladder with tons of guys on it was beautiful. Ohhhhh shit the Star Ladder!! Excellent touch. Ambrose/Harper is such a great match up, and Ambrose's chop/jab combos looked killer, with it all capped off by the biggest boot by Harper and a nasty hotshot into a ladder. He drills Ziggler for good measure. Cody has looked really great in this, loved the nutso superplex he took off the tallest ladder. Ambrose does a rebound "push over a ladder" which is wholly goofball yet I love him for it. And dear god Ambrose might be fucking dead as he takes a powerbomb from the ring through a ladder and just folds in a gross way. I guess if you need a believable way to keep someone out of a match for a length of time, go for broke right? We get a bunch of genuinely good belt grabbing teases at the end, and Ziggler looked so awesome sprinting up the ladder. He and Bryan punching each other at the top looked nasty. Bryan especially was laying 'em in. That might be the most immediate and violent "two guys fight on top of ladder" spot I've seen. Usually guys are too busy moving slowly and "being in a WAR" but these two were scrambling and punching and headbutting messily. I had low hopes for this match but it totally delivered.

4. Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

ER: Boy am I not excited for this one. Rollins leans way into an Orton clothesline, J&J take draping DDTs to the floor like wackos, and the Rollins hits a nasty tope so okay okay this is good so far. Orton has been setting up his somewhat problematic signature offense in really smart ways. The way he set Rollins up for the draping DDT was real slick, using Rollins momentum against him. Orton also hits a nice crossbody off the top (though I don't love that reversal spot). Rollins breaks out an asai moonsault to the floor which resulted in horrible landings for everybody. Finish was well structured and Orton took the Curb Stomp wonderfully. But even though I expected it I really have no interest in Orton going over and being back in the main event scene. Full credit to him for turning it on on the big stage, but fuck if I can think of another big star that I want to see less in matches.

5. Sting vs. HHH

ER: Ho. Lee. Shit. Have you EVER seen a bigger large stage jack off experience than HHH's Terminator entrance? That entrance had to have been taken from a letter written by a 13 year old and sent to Heavy Metal magazine. I assume my feed cut out and I missed him being surrounded by naked women with fake tits and he ends up fucking them all to death.

"The dream match that nobody thought would ever happen!!" Well, that's true Cole, but that's mainly because not one superfan ever considered fantasy booking this particular match. Although I do have a long running well documented love of matches where the combined age of the two participants is over 100. HHH gets a crazy bruise on his leg, and Sting gets a nice red welt after missing a Stinger Splash into the barricade, Sting also takes a nice spill into the ring steps. HHH takes the boss Race bump and later takes a big one on a backdrop to the floor. Billy Gunn also went for broke on his run in, sprinting down in half the time as X-Pac and Dogg, and taking a nice bump to the floor for Sting. We get the nWo/DX showdown with X-Pac taking a big bump on the ramp for a Hogan punch, Sting hits a huge dive from the top to the floor (is that a first? Felt like a big deal, especially for a guy in his mid 50s) and it all led to a nice false finish off a Scorpion Deathdrop. GREAT spot where Sting breaks HHH's sledgehammer in half with his baseball bat. And then HHH wins, which I must say is not surprising per se, yet kind of surprising. But not surprising. HHH worked hard in this and Sting came in shape, so this was realistically the best match these two probably had in them.

6. AJ Lee & Paige vs. The Bella Twins

ER: Only 5 minutes but they fill the time nicely. Nikki is firmly accepted as a good worker at this point, and she does well here, running face first into a nice boot from Paige, and I LOVE how great she takes AJ's Black Widow, really getting bent in a nasty angle while holding up all of AJ's weight. Brie hits some nice knees here and yeah this is totally fine.

7. John Cena vs. Rusev

ER:

***Sorry I got interrupted while watching this show, hope to have the review finished within the next couple days***