We figured we would give this another shot.
ER: I skimmed through the pre-show as it said on the heading there would be an "exclusive match". Unless it was 90 seconds long, I didn't see one. What I did get to see was Alex Riley talking about an abdominal hernia, Goldust with cool new facepaint, and Randy Orton making a 15+ year old South Park reference. Also, when they were showing highlights of Mark Henry rallying America, Alex Riley said "Now THAT was a solid American rally!" I hate watching preview shows for actual sports, not sure why having a show with Alex Riley is necessary with 5 hours of weekly TV already acting as a PPV preview show.
ER: Tag title match is up first, and they show photos of past tag champs, showing the Blackjacks, Hart Foundation, Legion of Doom, Edge & Christian and…Tony Atlas & Rocky Johnson?! They picked 5 tag teams to show, not sure how Atlas/Rocky made the cut. I guess they didn't have a good enough file photo of Bull Buchanan & The Godfather.
1. Goldust/Stardust beat the Usos
PAS: Man this was a great match. I have talked ad nauseum about
how great Goldust is as a face in peril, but he is really great as an Arn
Anderson heel working over a face in peril. Just nasty, I liked weirdo heel
Stardust too, that glove slap spot was odd but worked with what they were
doing. They had some neat counter spots, like Cody turning a Samoan drop into a
neckbreaker and Dustin ducking one enzigiri and getting caught with a second.
We had a great DGWWE crazy spot run finish and a great ending. Really looking
forward to the rematch and whatever other face teams the Rhodes boys wrestle.
ER: Seriously Goldust's makeup is killer here. He also continues his 5 year streak of managing to look in better and better shape. The Dust Bros. have been one of my absolute favorite teams in WWE history, and the Usos are up there too. It's weird what happens when you let guys team for a long time. And this match was killer, a WWE tag match that finally lives up to the hype of all the really good ones earlier this year. Goldust is probably the most versatile guy in the company as he's easily the best FIP, but he's also an incredible aggressor. Here he adds an extra wrinkle by being the guy waiting to ambush an Uso when Stardust's eccentricity allows the Usos an opening. Jimmy hits Cody with a press off the barrier, Goldust is there with a nasty powerslam on the floor. Cody's squirrely goofball is a good thing for his ring work as it adds an intensity that wasn't there before. Him stomping an Uso while holding him by the puka shells was something that wouldn't happen before. Usos are real good FIP and their comeback uppercuts looked as good as ever, also really loved the connecting enziguiri on Goldust (after he ducked the first attempt) that led to the hot tag. I loved Stardust's cool neckbreaker out of a Samoan Drop. This was just a hot tag match, right up there with all the best ones from WWE this year.
2. Sheamus beat Cesaro to retain the US Title
PAS: That was as nasty as you would hope it would be. Really
felt like a modern version of a Valentine v. Garvin match, with both guys just
unloading with shots 1/3 harder then anyone else in this fed (except maybe
Lesnar, we will see). Started out with some pretty gritty amateur wrestling and
it kept building and building until it finished with the nastiest version of a
New Japan slap finish, Okada and Tanahashi need to watch the end of this match
on a loop.
ER: Opening standing and mat scrambles remind me of recent Thatcher/Gulak stuff, which is appropriate as those guys always remind me of Cesaro. Feels like Sheamus is a guy who should get pimped more as a top shelf guy. Maybe people are put off by his goofy promos? I think he's doing a fine job of replacing the Irish asskicker hole in my heart that Finlay's retirement left. Sheamus doing a drop toe hold, with Cesaro fighting it and Sheamus finally dragging him down by yanking on his arm was beautiful. These guys mesh so well together and neither has a problem laying in nasty shots. Both guys take turns seeing who can do a nastier kneedrop to the others' temple. I loved Sheamus getting flashy and "skinning the cat" to pull himself up to the top rope, but because of it not going smoothly it allowed Cesaro to immediately catch him with a big time uppercut. Phil made a WWEDG reference up above, made even more apt with Sheamus breaking out CIMA's Iconoclasm on Cesaro. SHIMUS? Finishing run of this is awesome, with both guys tossing each other around in cool feat of strength ways. Cesaro deadlifting a butterfly suplex and doing a weird fireman's carry slam made me rewind. God Cesaro has a great thrust kick and then follows that up with cool punches that he hardly ever uses. Sheamus pulling out the counter Brogue Kick was a fitting end as it was nowhere close to a decisive victory, so should hopefully lead to more of these two. Great match.
ER: Backstage Big Show pumps Henry up by telling him that 318 million Americans are Henry's tag partner tonight. Really though, there's a LOT of dead weight on that team.
3. The Miz beat Dolph Ziggler for the IC Title
PAS: Not bad for two guys I don’t care about and was stuck as a background to shilling that country act. Actually built to a fun finish run, with the figure four being put over pretty hard, I liked Ziggler selling the knee as part of the famasser. Full Worldwide point.
ER: Florida Georgia Line on commentary for the whole match makes me even less excited for this one. I'm a Ziggler fan but Miz is almost always FF time for me. I liked Ziggler in this, loved his rapid fire elbow drops. One of the guys in FGL has Beavis's hair. I'm sure Phil right now is talking about disliking Ziggler (note: I was totally right), but Ziggler is one of the athletic bumper type guys that Phil always dislikes, but usually likes something new he does in every match. Will they or won't they, right? The match did about as good as possible at using the seconds and FGL, and I really liked Ziggler putting over the Figure 4 as an actual damaging submission. That thing has been raked through the muck so much over the years that it was refreshing to see. Fun match that didn't overstay its welcome.
Reigns had emergency hernia surgery so the Rollins/Reigns match is off
4. Seth Rollins "beat" Roman Reigns by count out
PAS: Seth Rollins and Ambrose brawl was a nice piece of pro wrestling. I think everyone knew Ambrose was coming out, but no one does out of control nutcase as good as anyone. I loved his plancha on Jamie Knoble and Finlay, and I liked him being dragged out of the ring. Excited to see that match up again.
ER: I loved the camera showing Ambrose journey from backstage to ring. Actually felt like something they don't do that much anymore. Rollins flies over the top from a giant Ambrose clothesline and then gets tossed like a nut over the barrier. Ambrose does the best "through the crowd" brawls since Jimmy Jacobs or Necro Butcher. Ambrose cannonballed into a sea of agents like Gary Busey jumping into the pool in Point Break. God Ambrose would have been a perfect cast member of Point Break. I need a Point Break sequel with Ambrose as Bodhi Jr. You know Bodhi had to have tons of illegitimate children scattered around Santa Monica.
ER: Before the next match Lilian Garcia sings the National Anthem and Henry wells up with tears. I loved Henry's facials during the anthem, putting the song over more than any black man since Marvin Gaye at the All Star Game. Wrestling always seems to use the Anthem as a cheap pop but here it was fitting and Henry made it a legit powerful moment.
5. Rusev beat Mark Henry
PAS: I liked how this was worked at a slower pace then the earlier match, as it was built on stiffness and selling. Henry is great conveying emotion and selling. I loved the struggle when he finally got the worlds strongest slam up, and I liked how that was the last gasp Henry had in him. I feel bad because they built this up as a huge moment for Henry and had him fail. I am emotionally involved in Henry and I felt real disappointment.
ER: I liked this match but it was the first match of the night to fall below my expectations. Still, it was paced smartly and Henry was able to show how great he is at selling. I was very surprised they put Rusev this strongly over Henry, as he got to overpower and break him down. Rusev's superkick really looks great with the extra pump he puts into it, and I loved the one thrown at a hurt Henry while he was draped over the ropes. Henry's screams as Rusev locked on The Accolade were shockingly real. Henry's emotions in all this were incredible. I really hope they continue with this feud as I think it's good for both.
6. Randy Orton beat Chris Jericho
PAS: I have to give these guys credit for really trying their hardest to have a classic. Jericho was blistering Orton with chops, taking crazy bumps and working some really nifty counters and near falls. That over the top bump was truly nuts for an old guy. I am utterly indifferent to both guys, and they actually got me into it at the end.
ER: Man I wish there was a way to watch matches on the Network in double speed. Jericho looked good though, some of his chops were aimed at the throat, like Benoit used to do in matches against Regal. Jericho taking a crazy bump over the top past the turnbuckle got my attention. Michael Cole is the least convincing Diet Mountain Dew pitchman ever. I'm pretty sure the only people who buy Diet Mountain Dew are dads who bought it because they meant to buy regular Mountain Dew, the same accidental purchase market that allows Cheese Nips to exist. Jericho follows up his nutty earlier bump with a nice bump to the floor after Orton kicked him off a Walls attempt. Match overall was better than I expected and Jericho really busted ass. Orton is such a flatline for me though.
ER: Brie Bella is one of the worst stick workers in company history. Really lends creedence to a lot of Total Divas conversations being unscripted, as she actually sounds like she's having a real conversation most of the time on TD. But whenever she does a promo on TV she sounds like an alien trying its best to blend into American society.
7. AJ beat Paige & Nikki Bella for the Divas title
PAS: This is the night of everything exceeding expectations (except for Henry v. Rusev.) I have no reason to want to watch a longish Divas three ways, but this was pretty stiff and relatively entertaining. I liked Paige yelling "Why don't you love me" while headbutting her. I don't know the angle but Paige sort of got me into it in ring. Nikki Bella was sort of useless, but I might not fast forward through the Paige v. Lee rematch.
ER: I dug Nikki in this. She was probably useless as an addition to the match, but I didn't think her work within the match was useless. She cut real low on clotheslines, talks shit within matches more naturally than 90% of WWE workers (who usually work their matches silently) and had a couple cool slams (really liked her trapped arm forward slam). I'm actually amused by the AJ/Paige interplay, the weird not-totally-explained dynamic. I actually sorta kinda like Divas matches, which always leads me to telling Phil about them, and him telling me he won't watch them. So I'm glad he had to watch one here.
PAS: I really liked the stats intro for the Brock v. Cena match. The MMA stuff doesn't work for most match (it would be silly for something like Jericho v. Orton) but it works here.
ER: WWE seems to actually know when to smartly use stats breakdowns to hype matches, which is directly offset by the constant ear poison of their relentless Twitter stats and odd Facebook "like" brags (WWE has more likes than the U.S. Air Force!). But I dug the numbers breakdown here, and I love when they use the numbers to hype the Royal Rumble every year.
8. John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title
PAS: I thought the first match this year was more of a spectacle then a great match, the rematch was more of an awesome wrestling match, with Cena learning from his mistakes and firing back with some really nasty looking potato punches and elbows. I also liked how Lesnar kept mixing in the Kimura. I liked Cena totally unloading his entire arsenal on Lesnar, and I would have bought that being the finish. Really didn't like the Rollins run in, there had to be a better way to set up the third match.
ER: First match kind of left me a little speechless. I had no real way to analyze it. How many other times has a huge star taken that much of a beating without getting any real shine? So I was real excited for the follow up and I thought they delivered big time. I LOVE Cena getting German'd by Lesnar. I could watch that all day. Cena takes them impossibly great, like Inoki getting tossed by Vader. All of Cena's comebacks here were (I assume intentionally, though never picked up by the crack commentary team) based on Lesnar's past MMA weaknesses: Cena picking his ankle had echoes of Mir grabbing him, Cena overwhelming him with stiff punches and elbows was like Cain Velasquez completely overwhelming him with strikes. Cena's strikes here were really rough, especially his awesome back elbows (Rachel watching with me said "It looks like Cena's trying to hit Brock for real" which made Lesnar getting up with a bloody nose even cooler). The kimura reversals were great, and damn Lesnar holding Cena vertically in a kimura looked brutal, and I love Lesnar kicking out of Cena's AA's on the one count. I actually wasn't expecting a run-in, and I hope they don't do something silly like build a 3 way. But I did like the way Rollins stuff was handled even if it left the match really flat.
Labels: AJ Lee, Antonio Cesaro, Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, Goldust, John Cena, Mark Henry, Miz, Night of Champions, Nikki Bella, Paige, Randy Orton, Rusev, Sheamus, Stardust, Usos
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