Uprising: Lucha Libre Workrate Report, 10/20/13

Alright, so with this episode (with more matches from the 5/11/13 show in Turlock), literally EVERY match on that card EXCEPT for the Santo match has now been aired. Does the match exist on tape? Did the match actually even happen?

1. Pantera/Famous B vs. Kafu/Dinamita

I realize fairly early that this is not the real Pantera, just some guy. Kafu and Dinamita are two Brody-ish clones (But look more like El Terrible a few weeks after losing a hair match). Match is structured really weird as Kafu is billed at 6'4" and 240, and Dinamita looks to be the same size or larger. But they're both working FIP to Famous B and Pantera who each look about 70 lbs smaller. None of the heel control segments worked well, as neither Pantera or Famous B seemed believable enough to control two significantly larger dudes. There was a real ugly Total Elimination where Pantera's weak leg sweep and Famous B's whiffed spin kick left Kafu just kinda windmilling his arms around before just softly bumping. Kafu is a guy who started in APW over a decade ago, and still does not look good at all in the ring. He had a WWE developmental deal at one point, but still looks tentative and soft in the ring. Real light clotheslines thrown at half speed, slow big boots, okayish knee drop. Leaves a LOT to be desired. Dinamita on the other hand looked like somebody I would want to see again. Everything Kafu did lousy, Dinamita made look good. Plus he busted out a real nice rana, big slingshot somersault senton, squashed Pantera with a back senton, etc. His offense didn't fit his look at all, as he's decked out like Brody but then does moves like a 170 lb indy undercarder (I'm gonna catch your bodypress off the top with a Diamondcutter!!!). Face-dominating tag matches are pretty pointless, especially when your two faces tower over the two "heels" (who didn't really attempt to be heels). Still, goofiness aside, I'd like to see more Dinamita. Preferably not with the other three. Also Sparky Ballard now appears to be working a heel ref gimmick but completely half-assed, as the only times you would notice it would be when he'd slow count Kafu or Dinamita, and then after the match he was pissed that they won. Other than that he was totally normal. I don't get it.

2. Cheerleader Melissa vs. Ivelisse Velez

Short match, just a few minutes. Ivelisse didn't really look that good. I have almost zero memory of her on Tough Enough, but she apparently hasn't learned tons since then. There really just isn't much that happens here. Melissa carries her through some sequences, Velez throws a weak kick to the stomach, Melissa ends up winning after a nasty curbstomp and a cool surfboard variation. Too short to be much of anything.