Watch This Lucha!

Rey Escorpion/Dragon Rojo Jr./Polvora vs. Super Porky/Stuka Jr./Maximo, 10/4/13

Phil left me a voice mail at work telling me that this trios match was 10 minutes long, and there weren't many better uses of 10 minutes than this. He was right. I've been a fan of Porky since I watched lucha and probably overrate most of his 2000s stuff because of my Brazos fandom and my overall love of fatties in wrestling (this blog could probably be called "Fatties in Wrestling" and 60% of the posts would fit with the title). Porky's been involved in good stuff over the last decade, but this was easily the best work he's done since the March 2003 miracle 8 man which saw him and Gran Markus Jr. clearly winning some sort of bet by showing everybody backstage that they could still outshine everybody (with Porky running all over the place and even hitting that weird leg flip/arm drag thing that guys Juventud size usually hit, and Markus hitting an unreal unassisted rana).

This match starts off with Escorpion (who's quietly turned the corner from really good to excellent worker over the last year) ambushing Porky, grabbing Porky's crotch-wiping towel and wrapping it around Porky's head and throat, then throwing nasty potato shots through the towel. It looked like something Vic Mackey would do to force a confession while also trying to prevent visible bruising. The beating continues to almost uncomfortable levels with Escorpion dishing out nasty punches to the face and body, biting him, and then when Porky finally drops Escorpion starts dealing some furious knees to Porky's head, all while Porky's head is trapped between ring barrier and knee. With his build and height and mustache it looked like a criminal finally caught up to Hercule Poirot and dealt him some street justice.

Porky's sympathy is great here as usually when he's on the mat his teammates need to lift him back to his feet due to his fatness. Here when he reached out his arms to be lifted up his face looked like it was because he was unsure whether or not he could stay standing. The other four guys are all in their as background noise but all serve their roles well. Maximo continues being his underrated self and the dive he hits at the end to take out Rojo was beautiful. Polvora's high speed Cassandro bump to take himself out was lunacy. And it all built to Escorpion being left alone in the ring for a very pissed off Porky, who immediately starts dealing the nastiest left hands he's thrown in years, punching Escorpion silly until he just plants him with a belly to belly (I don't remember the last time I even remember him throwing a suplex) for the win. But it doesn't stop there as Porky exacts revenge by punching a prone-on-the-mat Escorpion over and over to the face and throat, having to be pulled off by teammates, and then kicking him in the ribs while Escorpion is still down.

This was short, got over all the story it needed to, and I cannot wait to see all the follow-up matches.