WWECW Workrate Report 5/22/07

1. Snitsky vs. Tommy Dreamer

The dream match everybody was waiting for! Snitsky posts Dreamer and works over his shoulder to start, until Snitsky misses a big boot and crotches himself over the top rope. He did the exact same missed spot last week against RVD, so it appears this is going to be his "Andre stuck in the ropes" spot. He doesn't make it look very good, though. Dreamer's comeback was really cool but then he went up top for no reason other than getting caught by Snitsky. Man that's dumb. Tazz also overdoes the "Snitsky had BAD intentions behind that shot!" as he also drove it into the ground last week. I fucking hate that phrase when MMA announcers use it, and it's no less stupid here. What other intentions would ANYbody have when he is fighting someone? You have two guys trying to win a fight. OF COURSE a punch will have bad intentions. I guess that are rare instances like "Man, I had to hit you with that chair to save you from yourself! I was trying to help you! My intentions were good."

Elsewhere in 2007, Timbaland did a music video with the Hives, and it featured Layla and Torrie Wilson. That's weird.

2. Kevin Thorn vs. Wyatt Laro?

90 second squash, but a good one. Wyatt...something (Styles and Tazz kept pronouncing his last name slightly different. Laird, Lara, Lahro, Layro. I have no idea what it was supposed to be as he didn't get an onscreen graphic) bumped nicely for Thorn and Thorn didn't dawdle and busted out a nice clothesline and a fine yakuza kick. Fans actually get amped for Wyatt's comeback but it's shortlived and Thorn hits his finisher, which Styles now calls Original Sin. Also, no Ariel with him this week, so I assume she got canned out of nowhere and never mentioned again (because they sure weren't talking about why she wasn't there this week).

3. Matt Striker vs. Brett Major

So, this wasn't very good at all. Ryder is so-so now, so imagine how polished he was 6 years ago. He had some big bumps, and then some of the worst punches you've ever seen which I suppose means he's   supposed to be the new ECW Chris Chetti. It was weird seeing him break out offense that I don't associate with him, like a rolling senton (once he started getting somewhat over his offense became more locked in). I still like Striker and he looked good here. They spent so much time putting over how he's the weak link of the New Breed that I was positive he'd lose here, which really made me buy into Major reversing a vertical suplex into a small package. So that was a good pinfall fakeout, but Major just wasn't that good overall.

4. RVD & CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke & Marcus Cor Von

Wow, what a dud. This was one of the more boring matches I've seen in some time. They get plenty of time to do something, and this couldn't even hold my attention for 14 minutes. I had to break it up into two parts. A couple minutes in we get Burke and Marcus isolating RVD and working over his legs for what seems like an eternity. The leg work looks good (especially liked Burke knee dropping RVD's legs and slamming his knees into the canvas over and over) but my god they work his legs over for 8 minutes. There are never any teases to tag in Punk during this whole time, just the two guys working over RVD. No missed hot tags, not even any attempts. Just RVD having to sell leg work for a long time. RVD as a salesman always brings plenty of unintentionally funny facials. Eventually after the longest 8 minutes of my month, Punk tags in and the crowd is going crazy. And then Cor Von hits another awesome Pounce (I don't think I'll ever tire of this move) and Punk goes flying into the ropes and...the ref calls for the bell. You see, Cor Von was not the legal man. Oh, my god. Was this during that period when the refs were supposed to call things "as if they were a shoot"? Because a couple weeks back when Vince pinned RVD Scott Armstrong waited way long to count because one of RVD's shoulders were up, and now this match ends out of nowhere in the flattest way possible, over something that rarely ends a match in WWE. This was a horrible waste of 15 minutes right here.


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