CMLL on Galavision Workrate Report, 6/2/12

1. Ephesto vs. Stuka Jr.:

Well this was kinda disappointing. These are two guys I like a whole lot, and they get a couple extra minutes more than most lightning matches get...and they just don't do much with the time. The best I can say is that Stuka is a stocky motherfucker and Ephesto has an epic mask.



2. Mercurio/Pequeno Nitro/Pequeno Olimpico vs. Aereo/Astral/Electrico:

Who among us doesn't lie awake at night wondering "Who is my favorite CMLL mini...after Demus 3:16...and Pierrothito...and Bam Bam...and Mascarita Dorada..." Well, this match sought to answer that question. And apparently the answer is Mercurio. Pretty obviously Mercurio, actually. Dude looked awesome here and bumped for all the flippiness of the tecnicos. Astral has politely started wearing a shirt to cover up his hideous chest acne. The world thanks you.



3. Kraneo/Psicosis/Rey Escorpion vs. Delta/Guerrero Maya Jr./Black Warrior:

Awwwwwww yeah! Fat Alebrije is FAT! And he's Kraneo now! Again! And fat Kraneo is so damn awesome, always the best part of his six mans. He's still really fast and he is just poured right into that suit but makes moves look super great by being super fat. For a mid card rudo team I really like these three randomly assembled guys. And it wouldn't be a week of CMLL on Galavision without Black Warrior in the main event. And I am still beyond perplexed by that. Why now? I assume this guy has been wrestling since the late 80s, and it seems like he's getting the push of his career right now despite being Black Warrior. He has a nice tope. He looks like the weirdest slimiest version of Edward James Olmos in "Blade Runner" . He has horrible singles matches. He is Black Warrior. WE NEED TO MAKE SURE HE IS HIGHLIGHTED EVERY SHOW!!! I just don't get it. Somebody, please explain it to me already. Could there be a more random 40+ year old on the roster to push? Is Rammstein over 40? If not, I don't think I can think of a more random, odd person to be getting such a large push on TV.

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Wednesday Night Bootleg- Piper v. Savage

Randy Savage v. Roddy Piper- Hamilton, Ontairo 12/13/86


Roddy Piper vs. Randy Savage-IC Title by Stinger1981

We dig in the crates a bit for this wild old school match. Piper and Savage both have some of the greatest physical charisma in wrestling history, and that is really visible here. This is a sprint with both guys tearing into each other. Savage is flying around the ring both on offense and bumping. This is the kind of Savage match I loved on the Memphis set, where he feels like this out of control athlete moving at a different pace from everyone else, like watching early Alan Iverson. Piper is so demonstrative in the ring, and he isn't doing as much, but everything he does has such force. This really felt like an epic feud which never happened.

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Top 30 Thursday - Memphis #30. Jerry Lawler vs. Crusher Blackwell, 5/14/81

ER: Lawler vs. Monster is one of the all-time classic Lawler formulas, and the monsters don't come much better than Blackwell. I actually didn't remember this match placing this high. This seems like the kind of match that I throw in my top 10 and everybody else has bottom 50 (because they don't like fatties). But fatness always seems to just make matches float to the top of my ballot.

Crusher might be the fastest morbidly obese man I have ever seen. My dad was/is fat but nowhere near this fat (like 300), and one time when I was 11 we played in a father/son softball tournament and he turned a triple into a single. Not a fast man. I couldn't ever imagine him gaining 100 lb. and doing any of the stuff Blackwell does here. Right from the get-go we get Crusher hitting a great dropkick and then just sprinting across the ring for a corner splash. Dude is just crazy agile and everything he does has such awesome impact. Lawler takes a huge beating here, taking tons of splashes and suplexes and holy LORD Blackwell's punches in the corner saw him out punching Jerry! I mean, it helped that Lawler leaned chin first into all of them but fuck those punches. Also, Blackwell threw the mother of all fist drops here. I'm a man who loves even the worst fist drops, and this one was just a thing of beauty. And good lord the elbow drops!! Each one nastier than the last!!

But also, Lawler. Lawler Lawler'd like only Lawler can Lawler. The punches, the selling (his missed fist drop sell off the middle rope was an all-time great Lawler sell. It felt like MY hand was fucking broken, the way he limply was holding it and just...ouch). Finish was logical and maybe Lawler took TOO much of a beating, but who cares. This was great and one of the all-time Lawler/Monster matches. I'm glad others loved it as much as I did.

P.S. Lance Russell was great here too. Short version of this post could have been "Match was great and stuff looked painful".


PAS: In many ways this match reminded me of the John Cena v. Brock Lesnar match earlier in the year. Local babyface comes across an impossibly athletic monster who just overwhelms him. Lawler is a notorious slow starter (which is a great Lance Russell line) and he gets blitzed by Blackwell who just looks amazing. Little by little he finds his moments though, and is able to squeak out a victory using guile and guts. Blackwell is great here allowing little breaks in his facade while still feeling like a steamroller. Really enjoyed rewatching this and it got me very excited for all of the AWA set Blackwell.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE JERRY LAWLER

80's Project Results

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Wednesday Night Bootleg- Finlay/Khali v. Batista/Rey

Finlay/Great Khali v. Batista/Rey Mysterio Jr. Paris France 9/14/09



Great, great match. Just a total blast of a tag match, which actually feels like a career match for Khali. I thought he was great in this, maybe he is helped by a HH camera view as his offense actually looked good, and Batista did a great job of selling his punch and clothesline. There is an awesome spot where Batista turns his head smush into a spinebuster which Khali goes up huge for. Rey is up there with Regal, Benoit and Sami Callihan as Finlay's best opponents and their interactions are awesome, as Finlay is Fuerzaesque with his bumping for Rey's spots. I liked the use of heel Horswoggle (so much cooler then face Hornswoggle) and the finish is a perfect good time face win tag finish. I can't imagine anyone reading this blog not loving this match

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THE MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET: DERRICK KING, FRANKIE TUCKER, GOLDEN NUGGET AND CHIEF HILL RAISE SOME CASH

Frankie Tucker/Golden Nugget v. Derrick King/Chief Hill 6/9/12



The Souther fundraiser tag is one of my favorite kinds of formula matches. Old pros team with a local football coach, roller rink owner or in this case I assume a fire chief and work a southern tag around an untrained guy. This is the kind of thing which has been going on for years. Here we get King and Tucker running through their awesome touring match, while heel manager Golden Nugget is dastardly. Chief Hill is a bunch of fun too as he is a total awkward crowbar. He puts on a shoot hammerlock which looks like he might dislocate Nuggets shoulder, and totally potatoes him with kicks and punches. Finish is a little clustery, but this was this kind of thing done very well, and I am excited it showed up on the web.

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APW TV Workrate Report: 5/28/11

We start with a 4 minute recap of last week's opening round Young Lions Cup tourney, which is appropriate since the 4 matches lasted a total of 10 minutes. Not sure why they didn't just make it a 4 man tournament. None of the first round losers got to do anything in their matches, yet they weren't squash matches designed to put the winner over, either. All the matches were worked really even (or even 70/30 in favor of the loser) with all the eventual winners just taking some offense before hitting the finish 2 minutes into the match. Totally pointless start to a tournament.

1. Alexis Derevko vs. Dave Dutra vs. Sheik Khan Abadi vs. Derek Sanders vs. Vennis DeMarco vs. Jody Kristofferson. Not sure what the heck was happening here, as the first 4 minutes of the match are spent introducing all the wrestlers by showing their "entrance videos"....but they were doing it while the match was going on and all six guys were clearly already standing on the apron. So they're announcing Vennis DeMarco coming to the ring while he's clearly standing on the apron, and announcing Derek Sanders coming to the ring after he had already worked a segment 3 minutes prior. Not sure what happened here, but we miss quite a few minutes of the match as they pretend people are walking to the ring instead of just cutting right to the match. APW! APW! APW! Announcers also spend a minute flipping out putting over how Jody Kristofferson is being attacked by "a man in black", being run into the ring post and just beaten down...and all the while we don't see any of it, we just see Derevko holding a chinlock in the ring on Dutra. APW! APW! Show is off to a horrrrrrrible start this week. Back from commercial break and Jody is out of the match because he got pretend attacked!! Oh noes! Get your act together, crew. How long did you have to edit this? Ohhhhh OK. Finally clear that the audio is just COMPLETELY off. You'd think that's the kind of thing that would get noticed before being sent out to the local public access TV. Hahaha. I thought I was going nuts there.

Dutra hits a nice atomic drop on Derevko, really dropping nuts to knee...but Derevko just hops up...but then Dutra hits a BIG splash off the top so I can't stay mad for long. OK, I'm just gonna watch the internet feed for the rest of this episode because something got all sorts of fucked in the TV transfer. Sanders and Abadi are the last two guys remaining, and Abadi hits a real reckless somersault dive to the floor. He does these things a lot, and it really feels like he has no control over them whatsoever. Sometimes they hit, usually they end up with him at an awkward angle bouncing off the ring apron. That's what happens here. Abadi misses a skytwister falcon phoenix splasher 720 buster, and I really really liked Sanders cool cradle roll up. Legit looked like Abadi couldn't have kicked out of that if he tried.

But then Jody comes out after his mysterious (and possibly non-existent) NINJA ATTACK! He's still in this! He never got eliminated! They're working a "Jody has a concussion and just being in the match could shorten his life!" which I know is the exact kind of angle I would work if I were a wrestling promotion and one of my students had died due to complications from concussions, whose family then sued and won a large settlement from my company. I mean, whose idea was that? Killer J should just start spouting "Jody could die here! This ring has seen death before, if you remember! Concussions kill! Ask Brian Ong's family! Jody may die right now!" It would really help get over the realism of the angle. "Many people in APW have testified IN COURT regarding concussions. We know for a fact that they kill!" Then you can have the whole angle of APW sending a bill for the remainder of Jody's training to Kris Kristofferson's house, and then Kristofferson can come in working some sort of Heaven's Gate new sheriff in town angle!

Announcer Jon Roberts just said "Concussions are serious business!" And in APW, business is gooooood. Jody always has a really nice leaping shoulderblock. He gets really horizontal, slams right into guys. Sanders ends up winning when the man in black distracts Jody. Hopefully Jody doesn't die from that concussion. They should hire a hobo drifter to hang outside the APW Gym and scare kids by saying "Hey...I heard some kid died in there!"

Young Lions Cup action continues!! Let's hope the matches are at least a little better than last week's, which were short and pointless.

2. Perry Von Vicious vs. Mikey Jay. They're giving Jay the "young guy who won't give up" gimmick. Last week he upset Corvus ("maybe the biggest upset in APW ever!!") and now he's fighting EVEN THOUGH he has a mystery taped up rib injury. Dude, mystery internal rib injuries are SERIOUS BUSINESS. Have you seen what's happened to Ken Shamrock in recent years!? Tragic. Mikey Jay could DIE in this ring, TONIGHT! APW has set the precedent folks. Death CAN occur IN their ring!! Oops, GM JJ Perez is calling off the match and giving PVV the win, as Mikey is too injured to compete and risks permanent bodily harm. "Being the Commissioner I have to look after the well-being of the wrestlers". Sooooooo...... JJ Perez is cool with guys working with concussions but not mystery rib injuries? Huh. Has APW ever had to pay out 1.3 mil for a mystery rib injury?

3. Will Rood vs. Brandon P. Net. Rood's my boy now that he busted out a nice fist drop last week, so we'll see how he looks in week 2. We do some mirror wrestling sequences which don't interest me, and both guys are selling injuries, seemingly from their 2 minute matches last week. I hate to break it to you, guys, but this might not be the business for you. Both guys have a punch sequence that was actually WAY better than it had any right to be (Rood actually throws a much better punch than he does elbow or forearm). We get a suplex exchange and P.Net rolls one of them up for the win in about 6 minutes. Not a great match, but both guys looked alright. A lot of mirror sequences, missing a dropkick at the same time, back and forth moves exchanges, you know the drill.

This Young Lions Cup has been super balls so far.

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CMLL on Galavision Workrate Report, 5/12/12

1. Hombre Bala Jr./Super Halcon Jr. vs. Cholo/Apocalipsis:

Damn, Cholo and Apocalipsis? Did I accidentally start reviewing an LATV show? This was kind of a tale of the two good guys on each team, Cholo and Bala. Those guys rule. The other two aren't bad but they're just kind of...guys. Bala was awesome here, and he broke out all sorts of tope variations that I haven't seen before. He did one onto the rampway, splashing Apocalipsis in the process. It was basically him doing a giant running Pete Rose head first slide but landing right on the guy. Later he did the same Pete Rose to Cholo sitting in the corner and ended it in a headbutt instead of a splash. Awesome. Does Osaka Pro still have a large baseball stable? Change his name around and make him the Human Baseball.



2. Tiffany/Princesa Blanca/La Commandante vs. Lady Apache/Marcela/Dark Angel:

Really fun women's match with all ladies firing on all cylinders. Marcela and Tiffany always match up nicely together, always dig them on the mat and Tiffany kicking her face, and dig Marcela's cool springboard double knees to the stomach (which later cost her). They start the first few minutes and have a nice singles match. Lady Apache looked really fired up here. She always looks good, but she was approaching her peak level work here, though Blanca tends to bring out the best in other ladies. When Dark Angel was in with Commandante, it sure felt like one of the largest "foxy" to "rake face" ratio I've seen in some time. Match sputtered a bit at the end with the normally awesome Tiffany looking a little lost at sea, but I take my good women's wrestling when I can get it, and this was mostly really good.



3. Ephesto/Rey Escorpion/Mephisto vs. La Mascara/Mascara Dorada/Black Warrior:

Well God Damn is Dorada awesome or is Dorada awesome? The answer, in fact, is that Mascara Dorada is awesome. I know I spent last week's review just blowing La Mascara but good lord did Dorada just outclass him here. I could watch a match that was nothing but Dorada ranas. So smooth, so effortless. How neat is it when he does one and lands on his feet as the other guy goes sprawling away? You know I love me some Ephesto and Escorpion, and those guys always shine against Dorada and Mascara, as they are the aforementioned other guys that go sprawling. Black Warrior seems to be one of the main pushed guys in CMLL right now, at least that's how it comes across on TV. I don't know. I don't mind the guy. He does some cool things, has some good energy. I like his slingshot elbow. Hits a fast tope. But is he really a guy they're pushing that hard? It seems like Galavision is really pushing Rush and Black Warrior. Am I crazy?

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CMLL on Galavision Workrate Report, 5/5/12

1. Astral/Electrico vs. Demus 3:16/Pierrothito:

Two of my favorite minis teaming against two of my least favorite minis (stockier almost equals better in my book, so no mystery who my favorites are). Astral and Electrico are pretty meh, always adjusting and awkwardly getting into position, but capable of pulling of a neat move here or there. Demus/Pierrothito are ass kicking big bumpers and here their bumping is fine indeed. The first two falls don't rouse much in my guts. Demus makes a couple ranas look great, Pierrothito does a neat springboard back elbow drop, also does a nice Fuerza bump. Nice stuff all, but stuff you'd expect. 3rd fall is more of the same, but made TOTALLY worth it by one spot. It starts with Astral doing a rana on Demus from the apron to the floor. I am disappointed because Demus kinda wimps out of it and doesn't so much splat as he does spin out. But then Astral bounces off the opposite ropes and does a running somersault senton to the floor, while Demus is lying there. The kicker is that Demus is lying perpendicularly to the ring, so Astral comes crashing down lengthwise across Demus!! HOLY SHIT!! Not only did Astral have a white fucking hot death wish by just winging his body over the ropes to the floor, but Demus didn't even flinch while lying prone!! Both guys are straight nutso. I don't even give a shit how the match ended. It could have been 12 minutes of headlocks with that spot at the end and I would have gone nuts.



2. Virus/Rey Escorpion/Vangelis vs. Valiente/La Mascara/Black Warrior:

Short match, but I find it hard to believe that any man would dislike the 2nd caida here. Everybody was killing it there. Virus was just a master in here, like those sequences in Bruce Lee movies where he is just directing traffic mid-fight, getting into and out of position for guys and just letting the fight happen all around him while also being involved in everything. Great little 5 minute Virus primer for beginners. Vangelis is another awesome stocky guy I dig, and he works cool powerhouse spots while always leaning into a superkick or standing manly while Valiente crashes into him from 10'. Valiente takes spectacular bumps for a chubster, and the Valiente Special he busts out here was seamless and spectacular (again, props to Vangelis for standing tall while taking it). La Mascara also put on a great show and he is really becoming a young tecnico I really look forward to. He also owns the 2nd caida, and his body is all painted up like Captain America. I mean, it looks more like somebody's Captain America costume on Fire Island, but whatever. He looks really great here sprinting all over the place, flying into offense, flying his offense into people, and just being fun. Wish it would've gone longer, but what was here was real good.



3. Rey Buccanero/Terrible/Tiger vs. Marco Corleono/Maximo/Rush:

I did not realize Corleone was back. I assume this was his return match for the big Anniversary show, and I have to think he performed up to expectations. I've always liked the guy more than most, digging his big planchas and big left hands. Crowd was way into him, too. I loved Buccanero trying to anticipate Marco's punches, ducking early, and then getting popped. Bunch of neat spots in this one, with Terrible being a bumping standout. Rush even had some nice moments (love him blocking a Tiger punch and blasting him with a headbutt). When Rush has a nice moment, that's a pretty neat little feather in the cap for a match.

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Self-Destroyer, Wreck Your Health/Destroy Friends, Destroy Yourself

1. Super Destroyer vs. Jerry Lawler 11/14/81 - GREAT



ER: I don't know who this Destroyer is. He's a SUPER Destroyer though. He's also apparently 6'6", 350 lb. Even though he's the same size as Lawler and Fergie, meaning Lawler is obviously far bigger than I ever realized. Those kids in the audience must be like 5'8". Hamburgers eat people.

But fuck did I love this. I know that an 8 minute match consisting of nothing but right hands is eye poison to a lot of people. I do not care. I like drone rock. I've seen Earth and Sunn 0))) live numerous times. My buddy was high when he saw Earth with me, opening for Mogwai, and he thought they were playing in slow motion. He had no idea what the hell was going on. He was flipping out, and then just walked down the street and ordered an insane amount of food from the combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. The first time I saw Sunn 0))) they were opening for Wolf Eyes and I walked into 45 minutes straight of amps cranked so low that it felt like I was pooping my pants for those 45 minutes. Afterwards I overheard a conversation between a guy in a Sunn 0))) hoodie and his girlfriend, which went "Girl: So what did you think?" "Guy: Fucking amazing. As usual." My girlfriend at the time was baffled and annoyed by the whole performance. It was two dudes in hooded robes playing lowlowlow guitar tones for 45 minutes! But some people dug it. A lot of people didn't. Some people love matches with mostly punches, some people don't. One side isn't more right, the other side isn't more wrong.

I happen to fall into the "all punches, all the time" camp. I've heard people mention that they hate tons of punches in wrestling because it's just a constant reminder that wrestling is fake and not "real fighting". I was just born into liking this stuff, I guess. Environment vs. Heredity. My family ate soy food for as long as I can remember. A lot of people eat soy now. I was born and raised to appreciate a fine meat substitute. We also ate tons of meat. My dad told me you just can't expect soy to replace meat. You don't eat Fri-Chik and go "mmmmmm, this is as good as chicken!" You just like it because it's Fri-Chik and it tastes fucking awesome. You don't eat Super Links and expect them to be hot dogs. They're Super Links, and they make for awesome Super Link/rye bread sandwiches. Grillers are not hamburgers, but they are tasty in their own right.

You appreciate things in their own right, and you appreciate two guys throwing right hands for 8 minutes while one guy's eye gets busted open, fake fighting and all, because it looks fucking great. And that's what we get here. Both guys throw really great punches. You already knew Lawler threw great punches, but whomever Super Destroyer is throws some dandies as well. Some of it may be because of Lawler. Lawler gets all the credit in the world for his punches, even from people who dislike Jerry Lawler (yes those people exist. Stupid internet for making me know these people exist), yet he deserves equal credit for making other peoples' punches look great. Lawler sells a punch better than anybody else in wrestling. Whenever I see someone throw a great punch against Lawler, I have to think for a moment if it was actually a great punch, or just a Lawler illusion. But by the end of this match I was loving SD's punches. This was wrestling worked as simply as possible, with straight right hands to the eyes, Lawler getting run into ringposts (this is a man who knows many different amazing ways to get run into a ringpost), and kids scream for Jerry the whole time. The hero fails but not by his choice, he'd gladly keep fake fighting if it was up to him.

PAS: I actually think Super D's punches weren't very good, he had a weird limp wristed way of throwing them, I think this was a pretty much one man Lawler show. Eric is right about how amazing Lawler is at selling punches, it really feels like he is getting rocked by every shot being thrown. I want to second the love for Lawler's post eats, he is the best in history at going into a ringpost. The blade job was great looking too, Lawler bled less then any big time 80's babyface, but he when he did, it would often be this kind of over the eye blade job which really looked like the way people get cut in boxing matches. Way cooler then the tradition forehead slash. This would totally sell me a ticket to Mid-South Coliseum to see the King get his revenge.

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The Week of Destruction!!! Tuesday.

So I was talking to Phil this past weekend, and we were talking about our upcoming week plans, and I casually mentioned that I would be seeing a couple of bands in concert. Tuesday 6/5/12 I'm seeing Destroyer, and then Friday 6/8/12 I'll be seeing This Will Destroy You....and even though I knew I was seeing these two bands on this same week for the past 3 months, it did not occur to me the amount of SHEER DESTRUCTION that mine eyes would be witnessing this week. From the supple soft cooing yacht rock bliss of Dan Bejar's Destroyer, to the crushing instrumentals full of effects-charged guitars and ambient doom of This Will Destroy You, I will clearly be DESTROYED by the end of the week.

So how could any of us pass up on writing a bunch of Destroyer reviews? HOW COULD WE!?



OK so this is kinda of an odd choice, but I have my reasons. For some reason I always picture Rotunda as his weird 90/91 Captain Mike gimmick. Destroyer's "Kaputt" is an album full of the smoothest yachting jams this side of Aja. And I picture Dan Bejar of Destroyer sipping brandy, rocking a blazer and turtleneck, while Captain Mike steers them into the sunset.

Match was short and kinda neat. Rotunda was young and botched a leapfrog, and did TWO different rolling cradle spots. That seems like a couple too many. Destroyer had to have been 50 here, and looked super spry. I loved his escape from the body scissors into kip-up. In the body scissors I loved Rotunda boxing his ears. Looked real nasty. Match ends in a DQ, because Canada likes sports that can end in tie games and bullshit.

Week of Destruction!

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Dick Togo was Really in that Travelodge, You Just Lying in your Catalogue

Dick Togo/Kraken Energy/Arkangel Destroyer/Crovax vs. Chico Draker/Corto Circuito /Trox /Halcon Guerrero FULL 5/19/12 - EPIC

This Dick Togo retirement tour is a total trip, he retired in Japan, went to the US and Europe and is now hanging around Chile. It is like he is going to smaller and more obscure places. In two years he is going to be working Power Uti Jr. in Mali. This is the best Togo match in a while as he basically takes 7 random Chilean wrestlers and works them through a damn good approximation of an MPRO mullti-man match. We get a solid opening with guys matching up for exchanges, your Chilean guys looked comfortable working with each other, but when Togo came in and matched up with Trox it was another level of speed and slickness, and no diss to Trox, that was Togo being Togo. There is another great Togo moment, the rudos are working over Chico Draker in the corner and all the other technicos come in and Togo lays them all out with clotheslines. Arkangel Destroyer is the best of the Nacion Extrema, he was crazy fast, bumped big and worked really stiff. All the sections of the match are good, the rudo beatdown was creative and stiff, the breakdown is nutty and features a crazy four person dive from Comando Aero. I liked the finish run too, Togo breaks out all of his cool spots, including a senton starting in the atmosphere. Arkangel's elimination was fun he tries to hit Chico and ends up just wasting Togo with a forearm and Crovax with a superkick before getting rolled. Didn't see the point of Crovax turing on Togo, but it leads to a nice moment with him turning face by helping Draker hit a one man spanish fly for the finish. Awesome stuff, would have loved to see Togo do this more on his tour, so neat to see this kind of match done well

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE DICK TOGO

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