SLL's All-Request Friday Night Part the Second

Estrella del Oriente & Herodes vs Guerrero Negro & Super Parka (Monterrey 5/8/2011)
Requested by Tim Evans

Wow, 21st century Herodes? It's a good thing billion-year-old luchadors are awesome, or we'd be in a lot of trouble. Actually, we're still in a lot of trouble, as this is kind of a shitty match, but ancient Herodes is probably the best thing about it. He's fun taking a beating, reacting to stuff, getting fired up...there's a part early in the match where Super Parka is beating on him in the crowd, and Herodes takes a step back, psyches himself up, knuckles up, does a little nod to the audience like "yeah, it's on now!" Then Parka immediately starts smacking him around again and slams his face into a row of chairs. Super Parka pretty much holds up his end of the bargain here as well. He does a pretty good job of slapping the technicos around. Guerrero Negro is awful, though. He's a fat IWRG trainee who's been wrestling less than a year, and man oh man does it show. He eliminates the thoroughly unremarkable Estrella del Oriente from the primera caida with a top-rope splash, despite clearly not being able to balance on the top rope (the ref actually gives him his hand to steady him), and then drops a splash that was really more of a kneedrop to the space right next to where Oriente was lying. Segunda caida gives us some more good Parka/Herodes crowd brawling, including the great visual of Parka digging his fingers into Herodes' eye sockets while a woman in the front row reaches over to protect her nearby son. But then we get this nonsense with Parka and Negro throwing Oriente into the corner and Irish whipping the ref into him. The ref seems entirely cooperative with setting up the move, but protests afterwords, and outside of this and helping to steady Negro on the top rope last fall, he doesn't really behave like a rudo ref. And despite his protest, he very willingly lets himself get Irish whipped again into Herodes, though Herodes has the good sense to boot the dolt when he charges in. Technicos take the second fall, and the third starts with the rudos teasing dissention and then hugging for no apparent reason. It's bland than bad, at least until Super Parka rips off the shirt of young, slender Estrella del Oriente and starts spanking him. I think Dragon Gate just found their new go-to fed for Mexican excursions! Guerrero Negro tries a standing dropkick on Herodes despite being well out of range, and I just shake my head as the match mercifully concludes with a technico victory shortly thereafter.

The Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, & Terry Gordy vs. Raven, Stevie Richards, & Brian Lee - Rage in a Cage Match (ECW 7/13/1996)
Requested by Jingus

OK, who wants to explain to me what the hell I just watched?

Here's the quick and dirty: before the linked video (Jingus provided another link in the Segunda Caida thread on the DVDVR board that has this in full, but the video quality in this link is much better), Raven and Sandman are in the cage for a title match while Stevie Richards hangs in the balcony. Raven says that he'll give Sandman his son back if he lets him be, but Sandman overthinks it and Raven jumps him. Then Gordy comes out for what appears for all the world to be a simultaneous falls count anywhere match with Stevie. This is not treated as being remarkable in any way, so I'm forced to conclude that was the plan all along for some reason. Then Brian Lee comes out and starts choking Sandman through the cage. Then Gordy carries Richards to ringside, but Lee jumps him. Then Tommy Dreamer hits the ring and starts brawling with Brian Lee in the crowd. As far as I can tell, they are not actually part of any match at all. They just happen to be brawling at the same time that two other matches are simultaneously happening. Gordy and Richards end up in the cage, then Lee, then Lee gets Gordy out of the cage, then Dreamer ends up in the cage and going for pinfalls on Raven. Then Beulah and Kimona show up to toss Tommy some handcuffs to recreate the Chairshot Heard 'Round the World, by Tyler Fullington gets in the cage and blocks the way. Sandman is hesitant about decking his six-year-old. Tommy sees no problem with this. They argue, and since neither of them have peripheral vision, they don't notice Super Nova hanging over the top of the cage with wire cutters to free Raven. Raven's gang sets up a big stack of tables outside the cage, which Brian Lee inevitably throws Dreamer through. Sandman pulls out a win anyway, but because Stevie Richards wasn't pinned, he doesn't win the title.

MY...BRAIN...HURTS!

This maybe made sense in context, but I'm pretty far removed from that, so as it stands, this just left me baffled. Putting aside the structural and logical issues for a second, as far as the wrestling goes....Raven was basically fine here. Sandman wasn't at his best, but he wasn't at his worst, either. Gordy didn't blow me away, but as his post-mortem performances go, this was OK. Stevie bled a lot and ate everything really well. Dreamer and Lee's crowd brawling was awful, especially on Dreamer's end. They cut away from Gordy powerbombing Stevie to show Tommy carefully adjusting the placement of a freestanding door before Lee slammed his face into it. Then they cut away from a Gordy piledriver to show Dreamer and Lee just walking through the crowd. Honestly, even if I understood what was happening, it's not like what was happening was terribly exciting.