Segunda Caida: Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 11: Last Man or Machine Standing

ER: I kinda liked the sappy tenderness of the Melissa/Azteca opening, with Melissa getting one half of an Aztec Medallion. She needs to win one more challenge to get a full one, which she can then give to a Temple Guard for passage into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey.

TL: Eric normally gets to write his reviews first and then I get to add my thoughts in (normally blind, but if the point is good enough, I’ll amend it to respond). He goes right for the Legends of the Hidden Temple joke with the half medallion. This is why we’re friends. Ya’ll think I’m joking about trying to turn SC into a Game Show Blog. We’re gonna get the Buzzr sponsorship and everything. Next level stuff.

Haunted House Match: The Mack vs. Mil Muertes

ER: These are two of my absolute favorites in the fed, so I figured it would not have much chance of living up to my internal hype, and they spent too much time with goofiness for it to ever get close to the level of violence in the best Muertes LU brawls. I don't know why they felt like airing this "Haunted House" in August, or why these two just couldn't have a cage match. Instead we got some nasty bumps, but also weapons that were too extreme to actually use them properly. So you had Mack getting smashed shoulders first on a powerslam, but then you have Muertes using a crowbar as a weapon in the least effective way you could use a crowbar as a weapon; or Muertes making a massive dent in the cage by spearing Mack into it, but then getting a fucking KNIFE while Vampiro and Striker start panicking and flipping out with "Oh my god he's got a KNIFE!" screaming...and then Muertes hits Mack with...the handle of the knife. What? Mack comes up with no cut but a big old blood packet face. "Blood is everywhere, it's all over Muertes!" as this weird paint colored blood is strictly on Mack's face. There were cool big moments like Muertes hitting a great spinebuster through a table, and the absolutely bonkers finish with Muertes hitting a brutal DDT off the top through a table...but then you also had Muertes struggling and taking too long to get his leg over the top of the cage for a crossbody while Vampiro talks about how he's never seen someone climb a cage faster. And as much as I love Mack, him coming back for deadly revenge and hitting a few Stunners is just not going to seem cool in a "bloody" brawl. There was too many cheesy props (and I'm not even complaining about the pumpkin, because it probably would hurt to get hit with a pumpkin), and I think if they went more serious and actually treated it like a blood feud it could have been damn good and maybe our first List match from LU this season.

TL: It’s refreshing to see a wrestling organization go after a holiday-themed episode a little differently. WWE does Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas episodes in such a kitschy manner that it’s rarely entertaining, but having this style of cage match, with all the weapons and the kooky decorations, gives it a setting that comes off as 100% authentic for a show on a network run by Robert Rodriguez. There’s even a SICKLE on the damn cage. Also, considering the participants, this is basically an LU dream match for me, so hopefully this lives up to the hype.

The Melissa/Katrina stuff before the match started was I guess necessary? If It means we get another Fenix/Muertes match down the line, count me in. This match starts in an interesting way: Mack doesn’t go after the weapons at all, trying to work the match straight, whereas Muertes, LU Deathmatch king, is out here using all the weapons he can. He also throws his fantastic spinning chokeslam so I’m loving this early, probably a bit more than Eric did. I’m guessing the cage was actually supposed to give way more than it did on the spear spot, But then we get back in and, well, Mil Muertes starts actually using a goddamn knife in a match. He actually stabbed and sliced a guy on the side of his head. I watched Mance Warner imply he’d use a knife in a match at the August SUP show, but the environment was such that it came off as more whimsical than threatening; a comedy spot from a madman. This, though, wow. An actual knife being used in a match in 2018. And yeah, it looked weird; the blood was lighter than the juice from my Stark’s Steakhouse ribeye from the other night. The finish was suitably nasty, but I agree with Eric: This didn’t seem like the match it should have been in this environment. I did like a good chunk of it, but this could have been better had Mack worked this more like a brawl instead of working his usual Mack stuff into the match. Also, you know, had Muertes used the sickle instead of the knife. Go the full Mr. Pogo, man.

Jake Strong vs. Aerostar

ER: I had just watched the really good Jake Hager/Tom Lawlor match from MLW before this, and Aerostar is just a bad match for Jake. Aerostar opted to stand and strike instead of try a bunch of crazy flying body attacks or something, and none of his strikes looked very good, throwing some so so punches at Strong's torso and hitting unconvincing leg kicks. Strong didn't look as impressive as he's been looking, because Aerostar didn't really look impressive. It was too much of a squash, and Aerostar can be in cooler stuff than getting run over by this guy. We don't need this to be a 1998 WCW throwback with Hugh Morrus squashing Villano V.

TL: Jack Swagger worked Rey Mysterio and the matches were fun, but that was against perhaps the greatest babyface of all time. If we’re going WCW in 1998, Aerostar is basically Lizmark, Jr. here, and Swagger can’t even be bothered to be Perry Saturn. Nunchuks scaring off a dude who’s about to do a Bellator fight? I guess?

ER: Well another character died. That's the...third death this season? This is starting to feel like it's going to ramp up to the last season of Oz levels where they just started murdering a couple of guys per episode.

TL: The killing of Not Paul Heyman isn’t even a Top 10 death in the show’s history and is of so little consequence that it matters even less in the grand scheme of things. In a show where Lorenzo Lamas gets his eyeball ripped out of his head and a mini gets sacrificed by bludgeoning, a knockoff Chucky doll making a madman kill folks comes off as incredibly tryhard. Also, folks are literally getting sacrificed in the middle of the ring this season; feels like something that needs to happen in Orlando with some folks who have been down there a few years too many.

Last Man Standing Match: Cage vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I have made so many terrible choices this year that I keep watching and writing about companies who use Pentagon. I've written up like 60 Pentagon matches and watched more, and I definitely have nothing new to say about them at this point. And I'm already thinking that *before* Striker starts telling Bible stories. This is the further HHHing of Pentagon, and it's getting fairly insufferable, though probably not yet to Sexy Star levels (now why the hell did we all waste time watching *that*?). Cage gets to show off early, and things peak with Cage hitting a monstrous suplex from the middle rope through a table at ringside. But moments later, after taking what looked on film to be an insane bump, Pentagon just goes on his death tear, hitting Cage with chairshots and a hard trash can and trash can lid. We hit peak "is it worth it?" stupidity when Cage for reasons no rational person could accept, opts to take a Mexican Destroyer off the top rope through a set up table. WHY?? This naturally does not end the match. Pentagon immediately rolls out of the ring after hitting that huge move, and starts loading the ring with chairs. Yes, we were supposed to think that he was getting the next killshot ready in case the monster wasn't really dead, but Pentagon is so sluggish he makes it so the biggest move of the season doesn't have any drama, telegraphing that it wasn't really the finish. Also, to do such a wild table breaking move off the top rope is just incredibly dumb to do on the same episode where you have the OTHER biggest top rope move through a table spot of the season. Who opted to air those matches 20 minutes apart? They also chose to have Melissa Santos get roughed up and smashed into the cage by Catrina the same episode as hapless Jewish lawyer gets stabbed in the neck and gurgles his life away while we get more creepy doll murder talk. Who's going to be thinking about Melissa eating a beating at this point? Pentagon even gets to break Cage's arm, and it really is ridiculous the level they are sacrificing everyone to the altar of Pentagon. He does get fantastic reactions, and does take risks, but man he's more dominant than early Matanza at this point. Where do you go from here?

TL: The range for LMS matches I’ve watched in 2018 means this will land between Charlotte/Becky Lynch (Very good) and Gargano/Ciampa (Not at all good not even for a minute). The issue with this match, as Eric alluded to, is Triple P, and if this is one of those 20/80 matches where Cage dominates but Pentagon pulls it out, well, I’m prepared for it. I won’t like it at all, but at least I know not to be surprised. Hilariously, on the same show where an actual knife gets used, the broken bottle slicing open Pentagon was at least a marked improvement. We don’t need unprotected chair shots in 2018. Or garbage can shots. Both guys take moves through tables off the apron and get up and don’t sell a goddamn thing. Then Cage hits the Drill Claw, probably the most protected finish in LU, and not only does Penta survive it, he’s the first on offense. Even more egregious than doing the Mexican Destroyer off the top in the first place is Pentagon GOING TO GET STUFF DURING THE COUNT. Doesn’t even pretend that was good enough to finish. Kill the destroyer dead. It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s essentially a superkick. The finishing sequence is maddening to me. Can't break Cage's arm at all? Then break BOTH his arms. Yes, the cinder block is something Cage dealt with before and was the Only Way To Put Him Down For Good. C’mon now.

Okay: The psychological argument for everything here is that Cage, by taking all that punishment and having been portrayed as essentially a cyborg, needed to have all that done to him to put him down for good. It’s the same idea behind the Joey Lynch/PCO finish from SCI Night 2 this year. Excess of violence in the face of insurmountable odds. PCO took a Destroyer off the top and then Lynch needed four superkicks and seven moonsaults to put him down. Seeing it live, it was easy to get caught up in the moment, and PCO in 2018 essentially is Frankenstein. The problem is that later that night, Lynch didn’t need nearly as much to win in the final. It felt truncated in a way, like the PCO match existed in a completely different universe, and it took away from the impact of what was supposed to be the Most Important Moment Of The Night. While that didn’t happen in this particular match, what DID happen is exactly what Eric said: You’ve gone to a point so far ahead of the natural progression of a title reign that now, Triple P is gonna look like a dumbass when he does lose the belt in some haphazard way. This is “protecting” the character at the expense of literally the entire universe the match takes place in; mutually assured destruction via suicide. It doesn't matter that Pentagon went through all this to keep the belt, or that Cage needed to take that much punishment to stay down for a 10 count. It's gonna be happenstance as soon as Pentagon slips on that banana peel.

We’re halfway through the season but somehow, someway, for a 22-episode run, the first 11 eps have felt much, much longer than that. And now we have a wedding to look forward to next week and both the two people getting married and the person most likely to intervene and cause shenanigans have killed people this season. If there isn’t a death during the wedding, I’d call it the upset of the season.