THE FATTEST TEAMS: Abdullah the Butcher & BOTH KIMALAS!?

Stan Hansen/Joel Deaton/Mike Golden vs. Abdullah the Butcher/Giant Kimala/Giant Kimala 2 AJPW 6/4/91

ER: Would you look at the mass on that team? That team of Babyfaces?? This is a handheld - which is a real gift, as we hardly have any of the Kimalas team in AJPW. Kimala 1 didn't show up a lot in Japan, and these two only teamed together in '91 (and weren't making TV very often), but to throw in the equally fat Abby? This trio was so fat they should have been called The Disorderlies. The heels are made up of the actual cool team of Hansen and Deaton...and some blond guy in a mullet that nobody has ever heard of before this match. AJ brought in a bunch of weird one tour guys in the late 80s/early 90s and Golden was fun to watch in that "I bet my balls that Mike Golden will be the one pinned in this match." We get actual gold before the bell when Hansen gets his bullrope stuck on the guardrail, so he looks uncharacteristically awkward freeing it, and then upends the timekeeper's table to make something pay for what the guardrail did. Our team of tubs was really fun throughout. Kimala had some impressive fast "working in Japan" moments, doing a really impressive leapfrog/side kick combo to Deaton, and later taking a fun pratfall bump to the floor after eating an accidental avalanche from K2. 

Kimala 2 took two really crazy fat guy bumps, one getting tossed fast to the floor by Hansen, the other getting tossed over the guardrail into the crowd by Hansen, and he even came off the top with a big chop on Deaton. Things are a little disjointed, and the crowd gets really quiet during Golden's one extended run, but before long Hansen is kicking and stomping Abby right in the head, Deaton hits monkey flips on Abby and K2, Hansen flips out and chokes Abby out in the ring with his bullrope, and Abby drops two big fat guy elbows on Golden. Our taper crew were WAY into Abby and the Kimalas, and even amusingly tried to drum up some support for Golden. The building sounded stone silent while Golden was in the ring, and our dauntless film crew gives him some loud "Miiiiiike-uh! Miiiiiiiike-uh!" before breaking down into laughter. These guys wanted to see three obese men from two African countries absolutely beat up a guy named Mike Golden, and they are why we were able to see just that. Bless.