On Brand Segunda Caida: More 90s Terry Funk!

Terry Funk vs. Tito Santana NWC 10/8/94

ER: To my knowledge none of the '85 WWF Santana/Funk matches made tape, which is a shame as those two in '85 would have been perfect dance partners. And we know this even more, because they were pretty perfect dance partners here, almost a decade later. Early 90s Funk was about as much of a guaranteed great performance as you could get on a 90s indy card. You know people were talking about Funk on the way home from these cards, which was no small feat with people like Sabu on the undercard. Funk just knows how to own any environment. The Aladdin theater was a big venue with a cool concrete riser in the middle for performances (it's one of several places my mom saw Neil Diamond "in the round"), so you knew Funk was going to incorporate that. Pre-match Funk is almost always as good as in-match Funk, and here he stalks and hobbles around, whips his ring gear at fans, bullies the ring announcer, and then laces right into Tito. Every strike exchange between the two was fire, and Terry takes a big bump over the top to the floor off a Tito chop. 

All of the crowd brawling was really exciting, as Funk threw stuff around like a modern (younger) LA Park, ripping up the guardrails, throwing garbage cans, scaring girls that were in the front row, clonking Tito with a can, laying him out with a piledriver on the floor, the stuff you'd be flipping out for had you wandered in off the strip that night. Tito gets some nice comeback moments, gets to eventually pay Funk back with his own great piledriver, smacks Funk through the ropes again (with Terry taking a fun tangled up in ropes bump to the floor), and we get a really nice moment where Tito is on his knees, and Funk keeps rearing back to wallop him with a left, but Tito keeps punching him in the gut each time. It was a really nice twist on a babyface fighting back to his feet, arranged like only Funk can. We even get Funk tossing out a few headbutts only to stagger around before going down like a felled tree. Even after Tito wins you get Funk kicking the ref out of the way so he can choke out Tito with his wrist tape. This is the perfect environment for Funk. The dude should have done a Vegas residency.

Terry Funk/Cactus Jack/Steve Austin/Undertaker vs. The Rock/Faarooq/D-Lo Brown/Kama Mustafa WWE Raw 12/29/97

ER: My god this ruled. This was Terry Funk's return match to WWF, a post-Raw dark match I didn't realize was online, a fantastic house show style main that you know absolutely slayed everything else on the show. Funk is in his Chainsaw Charlie "gear" (what the hell was that about again?) but a few smart fans start up "Terry" chants whenever he's in. This is really the only interaction we got between Funk and The Rock, and it's a real trip seeing Funk stiff him up with hard right jabs and a big left. Funk also takes a fast bump over the top for Faarooq, all while wearing weird old man jeans, dusty red shirt and stockings over his face. Honestly his Chainsaw Charlie gear is probably the most "Alabama abandoned strip mall indy show attended by 13 people" look that ever made it onto WWF television. Austin works like an absolute fiend when he's in, it's always shocking to me when WWF Austin works super fast. Here he's the quickest guy in the match (although admittedly there aren't tons of known speedsters here) and he absolutely crushes Rock with a falling elbow at one point, all while wearing his impossibly tight jorts. Rock was really great on the apron, honestly he could have stayed there the whole match and it would have been wonderful (even though his stuff in the ring was standout). At one point Kama interferes from the apron with a kick, and falls awkwardly into the ring over the top rope, trying desperately to slide back onto the apron as if nobody would notice the dude just literally fell into the ring. Rock looks over at him and gives him a thumbs up. I died, then watched it a few times. The finish is rushed, Undertaker only gets in right at the end and hits a chokeslam so weak that it was like he was practicing how he was going to chokeslam Mae Young, but damn was this whole thing still a blast.