Bangkok Shocks, Saigon Shakes, Halme Rocks

The Viking vs. The Patriot  UWF 10/11/90 - FUN

ER: This is not Del Wilkes. This is not my beautiful Berzerker. And, we gotta start this thing somewhere. AND, yes, I've now done two straight Complete & Accurates starting with huge 300+ pound white guys working as "The Viking". The Patriot is about the same size and shape as Joey Maggs. Herb Abrams gets to Kal Rudman levels talking about the size of Viking's pecs. The match is very short, about 2 minutes. Viking hits a chop that sends Patriot bumping neck first into the bottom rope, and the finish run is damn worthy of a finishing run. Viking hits a big press slam and drops Patriot HARD across the top rope, then smooshes him with a leaping elbow drop. He also pins Patriot with one hand, and with the other hand he points at the referee through the entire count. It looked badass.

The Viking vs. Kevin Benjamin  UWF 10/11/90 - SKIPPABLE

ER: Before the match we get a promo from The Viking, filmed the way UWF always filmed interviews: Pulled in for a tight close-up on a big meaty face. Halme delivers his promo the same way Peter Stormare mentions being an expert at fixing the cable in Log Jammers. And this match...wasn't always pretty. There was some miscommunication, Benjamin doesn't get up well on a sideslam (that leads to Viking stumbling and dropping him), and doesn't get up great on a press slam. It didn't make either guy look great. I've never seen Benjamin outside of UWF Power Hour, and I assume Halme went through a rushed training with Brad Rheingans and Verne Gagne. There were small moments of joy, like a short Viking kneelift, and some wrist work that leads to Viking bieling Benjamin by the arm. Viking has a big leaping elbowdrop for a finisher, and it looks good, and we get another stretcher job. Things will get better, I say to the dark.

The Viking vs. Stephan de Leon  UWF 11/8/90 - SKIPPABLE

ER: A kid in the crowd appears to be wearing a bootleg Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sweatshirt, with Raphael flexing. It looks amazing. Halme is not making it a secret what moves he'll be doing in these matches. He'll throw someone into the ropes, and immediately wait for them in the position of the move he'll be doing. You know when a powerslam is coming. You know when a press slam is coming, because Halme is there waiting for him like Johnny waiting to lift Baby. Rachel actually defends it in terms of match psychology, suggested that he is so confident he's hitting the move that it doesn't matter that he is showing that he is hitting the move. I like her explanation. Viking delivers that powerslam, and de Leon doesn't have to take it neck first over the top rope. Viking does, however, deliver FOUR of his genuinely great leaping elbowdrops, even asking a fan "One more?" before flipping him off and delivering one more.

The Viking vs. Al Lion  UWF 12/6/90 - FUN

ER: "I think UWF should start selling life insurance," The Viking says, as his helmet sits crooked on his face. Viking, it should be noted, has been awkwardly stepping into the ring over the top tope, because his gigantic horned viking helmet would make it impossible to go through the ropes. Al Lion is someone I've never seen before, he's got pinstripe baseball pants, eye black, a Yankees cap, and is carrying a Louisville slugger. He looks like a nise Baseball Fury, which I dig. And this match actually starts out competitive! Viking runs at Lion twice and misses two big clotheslines, taking nice chest first bumps into the corner after both. Lion gets a couple of nice armdrags that Viking takes well, but from there we go mostly into Viking finishing stretch. We do get a little cross-up on a leapfrog spot, as Lion catches his head while Viking is coming down, but really Lion should have ducked more as he ran. How high did he think a 320 pound guy was capable of jumping in a leapfrog spot? The press slam is great, with Lion trying to pull up on it to make his landing safer, but that ends up just snapping his chin over the top rope. Viking calls out what appears to be the same fan he called out before hitting his big elbow drop in the last match. After the match he grabs the mic out of Herb Abrams' hand, calls him an oversized smurf, and wanders around ringside cutting a walking promo, telling that fan to "go back to Burger King" (I think? He was kind of gassed, so was breathing hard into the mic, and also has a very thick accent).

The Viking vs. Rob Allen  UWF 12/24/90 - FUN

ER: Viking continues talking shit to that SAME FAN! I want to see that match-up more than anything we've seen so far. At first I thought it was a plant, but it's clearly just some guy who is really, really getting under Halme's skin. He talks shit to this guy the entire match, after every move. He'd drop Allen with a backbreaker, then point at that guy. Drop Allen with a rough vertical suplex, then flex towards that guy. Allen is a good sport and takes a couple heavy as hell lariats, and that suplex dropped him into the bottom rope. Viking finishes this match with a spinebuster that seemed kind of...improvised? Halme shot Allen into the ropes, lifted him up into a kind of bearhug (which he had used in a prior match), things looked a little shaky...and then he just dropped him with that spinebuster. The referee gave on of the most gingerly counts I've ever seen, limply tapping that mat. I assume he thought Allen was concussed and didn't want to hit the mat too hard right next to him. We also get tons more great Viking elbow drops after the match, even telling the ref to get out of his way so he can do another.
And we're done with the UWF portion of our Tony Halme, and aside from being left wanting one of those white UWF hats (there has to be a warehouse in LA with boxes of these, right?), I'm left wondering how he went from these appearances - clearly tons of potential, but very tentative, borderline dangerous - to the poise and ring awareness and high end selling that we saw just a month after in the Hashimoto match. The way he carries himself here as a wrestler is night and day to how comfortable he looked as a boxer working a wrestling match. It's pretty astounding, and I'd love to know what happened in the intervening 6 weeks. I don't think the answer is as simple as "Hashimoto".


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE TONY HALME