The Bad News Berzerker Goes to Japan: Part 7

72. Stan Hansen/John Nord/Rob Van Dam vs. Mitsuharu Misawa/Kenta Kobashi/Jun Akiyama (AJPW 2/24/94) - VERY GOOD

ER: Hey, you know who wasn't very good in 1994? Rob Van Dam. And we get a lot of unpolished RVD, a lot of the bad RVD strikes that you remember (except worse than you remember due to being thrown with less confidence), you get to see him work through his future material and land moonsaults awkwardly and incorporate unnecessary somersaults. You remember how bad his "missile" dropkicks always looked, even when he was at his best? That awful flimsy one leg side kick? Well here it looks the worst it's ever looked, and he breaks it out twice! The crowd honestly has no idea what to do with him. On offense, he gets no reaction. But his strength was always bumps, and he had no problems leaning into offense here. It's striking how small he was here, as just two years later in ECW he had much bigger chest, arms, and legs. So here he's just a small flippy guy with loose offense and not even a yin/yang symbol or a dragon screenprinted on his singlet. He's just wearing a sad black singlet. It's cruel to sit through an RVD match and not even get to chuckle at what Spencer's Gifts black light poster he got singlet inspiration from while likely there buying fart spray or novelty boner cream. So RVD mostly stinks and there's a good amount of him, but there's plenty of Hansen/Nord maulings, plenty of Hansen charging in to save RVD's butt, plenty of knee lifts, plenty of awesome Nord elbow drops, Hansen blasts Kobashi with a chair and holds him so RVD can hit a somersault plancha. The match is really fun in a vacuum, but for a main event Misawa really doesn't get in the ring much, and you have to keep wondering why - from a kayfabe perspective - Hansen or Nord would keep tagging RVD in. He was a clear loser who was being constantly overpowered by Kobashi, and they were never in long enough to get tired or get in trouble...so why keep repeatedly forfeiting the advantage? Anyway, finish is expected and hot. You knew RVD was taking the pin, so the tension built around how brutal the natives would treat him. It wasn't as bad a beating as it could have been, but it wasn't painless. Kobashi crushes him with a lariat, and accordions him with a back suplex. Nord saves, but a powerbomb easily finishes. Hilariously, while RVD is being pinned, Hansen and Nord just walk to the back, never looking back once.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE BERZERKER