SLL's All-Request Thursday Night

Daffney vs. Mickie Knuckles (ACW, 2007)
Requested by Jingus

I always found it a little strange that Daffney did so little for me in...certain regards in WCW but did so much for me afterwards. I guess Vince Russo really can ruin anything. Anyway, this is a good little match, and I thought Daffney gave a good performance in it. She is a fun, hammy villain who bumps, sells, and stooges well, and can throw a punch. That's a performance choice I won't really argue with. She's like the kind of wrestler some people wanted me to think Victoria was, but wasn't. Her early "smaller guy trying to lift Andre" spots were cool, and for her own part, Mickie was a pretty good Andre, standing there nonchalantly with her hands on her hips while Daffney struggles to suplex her. Then Daff punches her in the gut, and that throws her off-guard so she can whip off a northern lights suplex, which was pretty cool. When that doesn't get a pin, she tries to smother Mickie in her sizable chest, which gets treated as a sleeper. Really? Because that seems like an air choke. Daffney has her in the clinch...is she applying a sleeper with her forearms while just pressing Mickie's forehead/bridge of her nose into her cleavage to hold her in place? Mickie escapes and tosses Daffney across the ring by her tits as revenge, and we laugh and laugh and laugh and look around the room uncomfortably to make sure no one else is watching and laugh. What keeps this match from really kicking into a higher gear is that - booby toss aside - Mickie really isn't that impressive offensively here. She carries herself well as a big, tough broad, but when it's time to bring the hammer down, she doesn't really come across as the threat she's supposed to be. The announcers build her up as someone who is going to beat the shit out of Daffney when she gets the chance, but then Daffney ends up working stiffer. Also, this has kind of a weird finish with Daffney ducking a Helms-style shining wizard, but Mickie still recovers first and grabs an Oklahoma roll for the pin. Still, this was pretty solid.

Tigers Mask, PSYCHO, Kota Ibushi, & Shanao vs. Makoto Oishi, Katsuya Kishi, Shiori Asahi, & KAGETORA (Indy Summit, 12/9/2005)
Requested by Brandon-E

You know, if I watched Osaka Pro more often, I'd probably be bored stiff of Tigers Mask's baseball shtick by now, but this was actually the first time I've ever seen it, so I got a kick out of it. I wish I could say the same about the rest of the match. This is spot-fu, and not even particularly exciting spot-fu. I know interpromotional stuff has been run into the ground in Japan, but you'd still think that this is the place to crank things up, not dial them back. Shanao/Yoshitsune/a gajillion other names is the one guy who kinda comes through on that front, and even he has cringeworthy moment where he tries a springboard double backflip double back elbow on Oishi and Asahi that ends up falling way short of it's intended targets. In the words of Don West, "it missed, but boy, was it smooth". Depressing current IWGP Junior champ Ibushi probably takes the prize for shittiest guy in this thing, being the subject of one of the more heatless heat segments I've seen recently, and generally looking like an ineffectual dweeb. There was also a weird part in the stretch run where Tigers Mask did some fighting spirit no-selling, and man, if you're a comedy worker, you really need to earn the right to do that shit. I just don't get this at all.

John Cena vs. C.M. Punk (WWE, 7/17/2011)
Requested by Kostka

Seeing as how this is the most hyped and talked about wrestling match to happen in a long, long time, I'm not sure there's really much clever new analysis I can provide here. That's probably a good thing, because I'm running way behind schedule on these, and I can speed things up a bit, but there is at least one thing I should say about it. Last All-Request, I wrote about how the Savage/DDP match from Spring Stampede '97 represented a microcosm of what WCW should have been at that point, but ultimately wasn't because the company was run by morons. This match, more than anything from any of the other failed summer angles WWE has run the last few years, represents a microcosm of what WWE should be right now, but ultimately isn't because the company is run by morons. I mean, I was as psyched by the initial Nexus angle as anyone. But let's be honest, even before Danielson got pseudo-canned, even before Barrett got completely exposed as a guy not ready for prime time, we all kinda knew deep down that this crew could only accomplish so much. Even considering that, it was fumbled embarrassingly, but we knew that angle could only go so far regardless of that. But Cena/Punk shows a WWE where anything and everything is truly possible. John Cena...well, hell, I've been saying the same damn shit about Cena since 2007, and very little has changed since that time, but never has that been more apparent than it was here.

"What does Cena believe? What does he do? What does he represent? Cena's character is that of a basically good, well-meaning wrestler who would have belonged in Hogan's world, but was placed by cruel fate in Austin's world. His general good nature and drive to win endears him to children and women, while the adult males distrust him the way they distrusted every other "moral" figure from the Attitude Era. It's kind of hard to make the show reflect that kind of character without casting a good chunk of your fanbase as heels. His equivalent story is a passion play: the virtuous, hate-free Cena being crucified by a lecherous mob who would rather do away with the man challenging their warped views and continue heaping unearned praise on "heroes" like Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and Kurt Angle, than reconsider their current ways. It's a good story. As Kevin Cook pointed out, it produced one of the finest matches in wrestling history. But I'm not sure you can turn it into episodic storytelling. Not sure you can build a TV series around The Passion of the Cena."

I wrote that days after Mania 23, when the future of mainstream American wrestling was actually looking pretty bright for a moment. A lot of the stuff I wrote in that post blew up in my face, but this still holds true, and I bring it up because, at long last, Cena got to play Casas in his take on the Santo/Casas '97 super classico. Obviously, it's not the first time Cena was getting booed out of the building while playing face, I'm not even sure it's the most Christ-like performance he's ever given, but it's up there. But just as - if not more - importantly, this was Cena finally getting to play Casas against a wrestler worthy of playing Santo. Punk isn't trying to bury Cena like some of his other opponents have. Punk is playing a great heel in front of a crowd that just happens to love him, and that he loves in return. The acknowledgement on commentary that "Cena is in enemy territory" says it all - the face/heel dynamic remains clear cut, only the setting has changed, and they adjust appropriately without forgetting who their characters are.

The three-way conflict between Cena's world, Punk's world, and McMahon's world is the story of WWE today, and the exploration of that could have been just the thing WWE needed to reignite the spark that's been missing for so long. And once again, they fucked it up. But we'll always have Chicago.

Bret Hart vs. Jim Neidhart (WWF, 10/29/1994)
Requested by douchebag

This was the only singles bout between these former tag partners, and I can see why. Mind you, it's not a bad match. I'm quite a bit higher on Bret than my Segunda Caida compatriots tend to be, and I think he does enough to keep this one watchable. Still, Jim Neidhart circa 1994 is only gonna give you so much. He doesn't really do anything to embarrass himself, but he's pretty much just dull as dirt here. There's some good brawling around the ring at points, and I'll maintain that Bret's stompy punches are the best of all stompy punches, but this is not one of the highlights of Bret's awesome '94 run.

Steve Veidor vs. Al Hayes (WoS, 11/8/1975)
Requested by FLIK

As a guy who grew up watching early 90's WWF, the late Lord Alfred Hayes brings back many a fond memory, but most of them open with the phrase "promotional consideration paid for by the following". Between that and his goofy as all hell color commentary appearances, I have enough to get a warm, fuzzy feeling when I think of him, but as is often the case in these situations, I can't help but be intrigued when I get the chance to see if there was more to the guy than just nostalgia. And thanks to FLIK, I now know that there is. Turning the clock back from the days of our crazy old English Lord telling us that Mr. Freeze freeze pops were as much fun to freeze as they are to eat, we go to 1975, back to his Lordship's homeland, and back to the anything but gentlemanly Judo Al Hayes.

Of course, it might be a bit of a misnomer to call England his homeland. This is Hayes' first match back in the UK after a four-year tour of duty in the States, and he's now billing himself as being from the U.S., sporting red, white, and blue wristbands, and wrestling more of the American "all-in" style, much to the consternation of all involved. Forgoing classic British technique for fisticuffs and repeatedly trapping Veidor in the ropes illegally (and trying to take advantage by swinging wildly at Veidor when he doesn't do the same), he pisses off the crowd, flusters the referee...even the always unflappable Kent Walton makes his displeasure known, even slipping in a comment about how "if he wants to wrestle all in, perhaps he should go back to the United States". I can't tell you how happy I am that jingoism is a universal wrestling trope. Veidor is a cool, Britastic matworker, but he starts losing his temper, too, and isn't afraid to take a few wild shots at Hayes to put him in his place. He takes control of the match with more sportsmanlike methods, but Hayes escapes a cravate with a hard forearm to the gut. He follows that with a nasty right hook to the face, earning him his first public warning. He tries to press the advantage, but Veidor cartwheels around a double thrust chop attempt and pastes him with a forearm. Hayes bails to the outside, and god damn does this crowd hate his guts. There's some fun stuff with him jawing with an old fat lady in the aisle, distracting him while Veidor comes out and blasts him from behind with another forearm. Hayes turns back as Veidor gets back in the ring and just stares in disbelief. Cute spot when Hayes gets back in the ring, as Veidor tries to corner him, but Hayes keeps begging off every time. Veidor seemingly gives up on it and starts to walk away, and Hayes charges in to attack while his back is turned, but Veidor quickly turns back and Hayes backpedals again. Hayes does retake control of the match, but he's really pushing his luck, using a sleeper/nerve hold at the base of the neck that looks an awful lot like a chokehold, and throwing a lot of hard clubbering forearms. Walton also starts intimating that one of Hayes' wristbands (worn in part due to injury) may be loaded, and in the penultimate round of a one-fall match where Hayes already has one public warning, he reasons that the match will either end via a draw or via Hayes getting DQ'd. Meanwhile, Hayes repeatedly tries to score a knockout with boot scrapes. Boot scrapes for nearfalls? I approve! Veidor gets saved by the bell, but comes out of his corner guns ablazing in the final round. Hayes has no answer for him, and out of desperation, chucks him over the top rope. This leads to our cooler than cool finish, as Hayes keeps attacking Veidor as he tries to re-enter the ring. The ref tries to hold him back, but with a DQ all but imminent, Hayes shoves him aside and charges Veidor once more...who slingshots over Hayes and grabs him with a sunset flip for a clean pinfall victory, "the way he likes to win". Great, great match, and an amazing look at Hayes when he was great for non-ironic reasons.