Queens Lucha Libre ROAD REPORT 11/23/09

PAS: I wake up at 6am (7 hours earlier then I usually get up on Sunday) and head down to the Greenbelt metro station to meet Childs. Tomk is surprisingly only 15 minutes late and we head off to Queens.

TKG: It is Sunday and it took me longer to get to Greenbelt than I expected. At every bus stop there is an old lady carrying a full grocery cart on to the bus. We get to Queens with plenty of time to spare. Every time Phil says ”we’re making good time” I tell him not to jinx us and we immediately get caught in a goofy detour or mess. We find the location, confirm that the show is taking place and get some food to eat. We are all Allen Iverson fans.

PAS: Long line snaking around the block, it gets split into two lines and the start of the show is completely disorganized as people don't even start getting in until 2pm.

TKG: Security seemed surprised by the size of the crowd. There were three levels of tickets sold ( $85-75, $50, $40), plus people who were buying tickets on day of show. All of them were in the same line. To keep the line from snaking around the block they separated into two lines and then couldn’t figure out order of people. They seemed to be letting in ten people at a time. There also was a required coat check which slowed stuff down. It was a large dance hall space (approximate 800 capacity without ring-700 with the ring), with good lighting rig and sound system set up (they had the guys from Sonido Caluda running the sound), a mask table inside, two bars, a food vending area, beer girls walking around, girls running a clamato promotion, girls offering you prices on pictures with the wrestlers (back room set up for pictures), a bathroom with a really fancy trough urinal ( I don’t think I’ve seen a trough that elaborate at any baseball stadium) and a bathroom attendant, and Super Porky in sandals running a gimmick table in the back.

LOCAL v LOCAL: AZRIEL v DANNY DEMANTO v BANDIDO JR

TKG: First match was advertised as local v local. Phil predicts this will be Danny Demanto v either Azriel or Bandido jr. It turns out to be Demanto v Azriel and Bandido Jr.. They then introduce heel ref Jaquetas. I got the sense that the JAPW guys intended to work a three way dance and Jaquetas forced them instead to work an elimination triangular. When we went to the Delaware show I talked about the misscomunication between U.S. indy ref Brice Rensburg and the Mexican workers. That was nothing compared to the misunderstanding between US indy workers and heel Mexican ref. This match was totally defined by that misunderstanding. The JAPW guys tried to have a match whithout getting sidetracked by Jaquetas stuff. Jaquetas would try to set up heel ref spots, pulling Azriel’s hair, holding back his punches, fast and slow counts. The JAPW guys didn’t know how to work those spots and tried their damnest to keep it from throwing them off their game. I don’t think Bandido Jr was supposed to eliminated at the point he got fast counted out of match.

PAS: I enjoyed Danny Demanto as tubby stooging heel, a lot more then enjoyed him as tough guy kicking out of burning hammers in JAPW. Despite that this was a total mess. It felt like you JAPW guys were trying, but it didn't matter what they did this match was going to be about Jaquetas. I really can't stand heel ref lucha, I remember five years ago or so, Alfredo would get in DVD's of Arena Coliseo Monterrey shows, and they would have these amazing looking match ups. You would be excited to see Blue Panther v. Felino and what you would get was Blue Panther and Felino working spot with El Mulatto the heel ref. Azreal and Badido Jr. are not Blue Panter and Felino, but I still would have liked to see what they could have done without Jaquetas shitting all over the match

SWAT KAT v BAZOOCAA

TKG: Swat Kat and Bazoocaa are both Chicago luchadors and got the impression that they have lots of experience working matches with lucha heel refs. No culture clash here as they really knew how to work those heel ref spots and work a match around the heel ref being the real star. It doesn’t make it any better but they knew that formula. They hit some nice stuff early on: Swat Kat hit a huge tope into a woman holding an infant, followed by rana’ing the large heavyweight Bazoocaa into a woman holding a newborn. But this match went on forever (2/3 falls) and really was completely formless. Not completely formless…just totally built around Jaquetas. Non ref interaction sections had any rhyme or reason and there was a lot of bad execution. At one point Swat Kat decides the match needs blood and raises some bruises on Bazoocaa’s forehead and then squeezes them the way you would squeeze a pimple. Some of the Jaquetas spots might make for amusing comedy but three falls of it was really dull and had drunk patron attacking him.

PAS: I thought this was close to the worst match I have ever seen live. Not only did we have more endless dull Jaquetes horseshit, but the execution on the wrestling the guys actually did was abominable. It must have gone close to 30 minutes and outside of the rana into the baby there wasn't a single redeeming moment. Some real awkward obvious moments of cooperation and there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to when El Jaquetes would count fast and when he wouldn't.

TKG: After this we go to intermission, and Blue Demon’s merch table is set up. Show advertised Cassandro v Aguila del America, Mascarita Sagrada v Octagoncito, Super Porky v Hurricane Ramirez Jr. Two matches and an intermission, I don't know how they'll make it through the rest of card and still get to Jersey.

PAS: There are scantly clad waitresses coming around with free shots of Clamato. I have done some nasty things before for and to pretty girls, but I can't see why you would drink the clam juice in shot form.

SUPER PORKY/TZUKI v AGUILLA DE AMERICA/OCTAGONCITO

PAS: Aguilla de America comes to the ring with his kids, one about 4 and one about 8 in matching gear. The 8 year old is pretty much the third guy on the rudo team and significantly better then his father. Aguila de America has to be the loosest wrestler I have ever seen live. I mean nothing made contact at all. The match was pretty much built around Porky and Tzuki sticking their nuts in the rudos faces, lots of different variations of nut facing dudes. Pretty uncomfortable to watch a match like that, when one of the rudos is 8 years old, added a weird tension I really felt like I was about to witness a molestation, it was like watching the scene in Happiness between Dylan Baker and his son. Porky is charismatic as fuck, but seems to have lost a little something off his athletic fastball, he was getting no height on his splashes and was moving way slower then last time I saw him. The mini were really mailing it in too, mostly working comedy spots and not athletic spots at all. It was like Tzuki remembered Vince bringing him in and told Octagonicto "this is how midgets work in NYC."

TKG: Porky tried to hold something together by working blue on the mic and doing his filthy vaudeville spots in the ring… but yeah the whole match was being built toward child molestation spot, to where you were actively surprised you didn’t get it. Every other heel in the match got repeatedly fondled, teabagged, covered in soda and spanked with a belt, etc. Eight year old thankfully manages to avoid that fate. The eight year old does do a dive on Porky who then chucks him into the crowd. Perhaps he was manhandled by the audience then. Tzuki and Octagoncito are essentially doing nothing but Cuije v Chuukky house show spots. But its Tzuki, and he’s one of the fastest wrestlers in the world…so his teabagging spots are really fast and vigorous.

HIJO DEL SANTO v BLUE DEMON JR v BORDER PATROL OLIVER JOHN

TKG:Oliver John comes out first as Border Patrol gets on the mic talks about all the illegals in the audience and how they all need to show him there green card and how some people say Blue Demon is a legend but he is just another illegal who needs to be deported. Basic cheap heat gimmick that works at riling up the crowd. Then Blue Demon as Mexican Savior with the Mexican Flag comes out to great musical fanfare and does some mic work, then Hijo Del Santo comes out and the announcer poorly explains the concept of a triangular match. Santo has to ask for mic and then explains the rules of the match to crowd. Referee is Jaquetta and while normally your rudo ref will not engage in shenanigans to help a foreigner (nationalism comes before rudoism) here he seems to interfere against Blue Demon no matter who the opponent. Demon and Santito do their awesome opening matwork exchanges and Santo whips out his scarecrow climbing stuff that I really like (standing choke into octopus variation etc), Oliver John does a bunch of stooging bumping and flies around for Blue Demon’s hand clapping strikes. John gets eliminated and then comes back out in Santo mask to cheer on Santo and interfere in match on Santo’s behalf which pisses Santo off. Post match Blue Demon challenges Santo about how he can’t win without outside interference andis always running from facing Demon one on one or in a mask match, challenges for a mask match back in NY, Santo counters with challenge for MSG and actually does a nice job convincing me that I should call all my friends so we can fill up MSG for that match, Blue Demon accepts and calls for the support of his Blue Demonites and then Blue Demon challenges Oliver John to a title match. Oddly booked match where Santo does all the work and gets the win but still is booked as secondary star.

PAS: This felt like a show money marked by Blue Demon, as Santo came off as an attraction, but not the big deal. The way Beastmaster Rick Link might bring in Wahoo to tag with him, Wahoo is the star, but Rick Link is the focus. It really makes no sense, nor does flying in Oliver John to work your generic Border Patrol heel. If for some reason you have to make this a triangular, just stick Danny Demanto in Border Patrol gear, it isn't like John did anything Demanto can't do, and then maybe you could have flown in Cassandro like you fucking advertised. Santo is always worth watching, this was Santo by the numbers, but they are awesome numbers. We got the Santo tope and plancha, plus some pretty sweet mat exchanges with the carriable on the mat Blue Demon. Demon isn't worth a shit on his feet and has some of the most obvious hand clap punches I have ever seen. Still as much as he sucks I would still be all about MSG. Maybe put Bruno v. Perro Sr. on the undercard.