The VAMPIRE DIARIES Pt 2: CZW TOD 8.5 10/25/09

Figured since I reviewed the Carnage Cup, I might as well give this a run too. I am a pretty big Switchblade Conspiracy fan, and have enjoyed some other guys in this tourney as well. So LIVE FROM DJ HYDE”s BACKYARD, it the Tournament of Death.

Sami Callihan v. Danny Havok- Caribbean Spider Net

This is the kind of death match I like, no good natured sportsmanship, no respect knucks. Just two guys who hate each other trying to kill each other. Callihan jumps him before the bell, and this is a heated nasty little fight. Callihan was my discovery of 08, and while he hasn’t had the opportunities he had in IWA, his death match run in CZW has been pretty great. Both guys take some grizzly bumps into the Spider Nets, although Havok totally wins the bump contest, by flying off the tope rope into some metal contraption with barbed wire and glass. Callihan was a real prick in this, throwing broken glass in Havok’s face and jamming it into his mouth. Finish was nasty as fuck with Sami hitting his headlock driver on a giant bundle of tubes. Bump of the show, and absolutely the right thing to end the match on.

Thumbtack Jack v. Jon Moxley- Dog Collar and Four Corners of Fun

This was another pretty sweet match. Pretty great old school dog collar spots, with both guys getting yanked around by their neck and smashed with chains. Moxley is really great at regular wrestling bumping, as he really makes all of the falls and trips with the chain look awesome. Finish run got a little into the Jackass self mutilation stuff I don’t like about current death matches, but Moxley is such a dick he kind of makes it work. Imagine Tully putting a mousetrap on Scott Casey’s tongue. Finish was pretty brilliant, Moxley gets tied into the ropes with a chain, Jack grabs his stupid acupuncture needles and relives Moxley’s cluster headaches, then he lifts a cinderblock, but before he can smash him with it, Moxley quits. Totally awesome dick heel move for this kind of Jersey sociopath audience, he came off like such a pussy, especially when the whole point of this stuff is to take punishment to prove what a tough guy you are.

Masada v. Brain Damage- New Age Texas Death Match

Pretty disappointing, as these are the two big dudes who hit hard, and I was hoping for a Necroish brawl. This however was a bit meandering, there was a big bump or two, and guys got punched in the face, but both guys looked sluggish. I think Damage may have hurt his knee, which explains it, but this never got out of first gear.

Zandig v. Nick Gage – Pain in the Glass match

Zandig has a cueball shaved head, and all those roids he took when he was a fake Ultimate Warrior have left him with gyno and a giant gut, he looks like Ronnie P. Gossett. This was basically both guys awkwardly flying through glass windows. Zandig kept having to pull up his acid washed jeans after big bumps. Gage makes these ridiculous faces, he gets presslamed through a pain of glass and table, and he just lies there crying with his Trig Palin face and meth teeth, I have no idea why he isn’t bigger heel, is super hateable . Despite myself I actually kind of enjoyed this match, both guys stink, but they were trying hard and it had some real face v. heel stuff. I don’t know if Zandig is as good as late 90’s Kojika, but he does have similar charisma.

Scotty Vortex v. Greg Excellent v. Rich Swann

Basic indy highflyer 3-way. A couple of cool spots, and I got the sense that all three of these guys were decent. Greg Excellent looks like a young David Crosby, which makes his cannonball look really nasty. Vortex had nice kicks, still fuck a 3-way.

Sami Callihan v. Thumbtack Jack- Casket Match

Sami Callihan is really great at these kind of toe to toe brawls. Both guys go straight at each other, throwing punches and forearms without out ever taking a breath., reminded in parts of the awesome Necro v. Sami match. Both guys took some big falls on the casket which looked nasty. Finish was the only issue, they both end up in the casket together which looked a little like a pair of emo boys exploring their boundaries in seven minutes of heaven. Callihan comes up with a knife, and Jack comes up with a needle, and Callihan gets stabbed and they close the lid.

Masada v. Nick Gage- Home Run Derby Match

This wasn’t very good, both guys pretty much wandered around and hit each other with lightubes and thumbtack bats. Gage took a bump or two, but nothing special. Masada throws some really shitty elbows for a guys who throws a bunch of elbows, the strong style tough guy exchanges were pretty bad. Gage passing out in a clover leaf was shit on by the crowd and a real weird way for a heel to lose a match like this.

Devon Moore v. OMG

Moore comes out with a Barbed Wire Board, I don’t get the point of running a non-tournament deathmatch during a DM tourney. This really seemed pointless as the barbed wire board stuff served no purpose in the match. Outside of the couple of board bumps this was a below average juniors match.

Masada v. Thumbtack Jack – House of Pain

Large parts of this were pretty great, lots of times Death Match tourney finals under whelm a bit, guys are just too busted up to really go crazy, but this match had some of the nuttiest bumps of the tourney. I was especially impressed by Masada getting monkey flipped on a chair and barbed wire bat, and Jack getting slammed on broken pieces of ciderblock. Masada also hits a big powerbomb on a lightube and cinderblocks which really should have been the finish. Most of the stuff after that move wasn’t very good, they start sticking things in each others heads, and jabbing syringes through cheeks. That kind of thing is both gross and low impact, it just kind of grinds the match to a halt. They never really regain the momentum they had before and it ends up a bit flat.

Pretty good show, the Switchblade Conspiracy matches were better then anything on the Carnage Cup, and I want to see everything those guys do.