AEW Dynamite Workrate Report 10/14/20

 What Worked

-Opening tag had a strong first half and then started to drag once they involved Kip Sabian and their ringside game cabinet and around then it started feeling like they were just filling time. Probably didn't need to go 15+ with this one. But I liked it a lot through Taylor's hot tag. Trent is good at taking a beating, eating suplexes (loved Wheeler's high backdrop and Harwood's faster lower angle Saito suplex) and I liked the way they tangled him up when making quick tags. Wheeler was working hard at this one, keeping pace with Trent while administering the beating, and my man then carries Trent's corpse all the way back to the ring from the gaming cabinet crash, blowing himself up worse than that cabinet got blown up. Taylor's hot tag was good, with big lariats sending both to the floor (both FTR had some nice bumps to the floor in this one) and then a wild tope con hilo that wipes out both of FTR. FTR were good at feeding into Trent and Taylor's offense, even stuff that can look bad like the sole food/50-50 combo, Harwood flew right into. 

-It is extremely fitting that Kip Sabian's nickname is "Super Bad". 

-Loved my man Sean Maluta getting his ass absolutely TOSSED around ringside, just throwing that body into guardrails. I dug him in Evolve teaming with Colby Corino and Eddie Kingston, and now that he's made Lance Archer and Miro look strong on Dynamite, hopefully they can find something more for him to do. 

-That Expos Vlad throwback Kingston was rocking was so sick. Expos gear is doubtlessly the coolest MLB gear. Gimme Kingston on commentary (and in the ring) more often, and gimme Kingston pointing out that he never tapped to the bully choke. 

What Didn't Work

-Miro yelling GAME OVER!! and then whiffing on Maluta's jaw for his camel clutch made me laugh, but I don't think he was going for yuks. 

-A couple of the gags worked well in the Jericho/MJF segment, but I'm not really a fan of building main event stories with this kind of overly planned comedic back and forth. It's funny when Britt Baker tosses Tony Schiavone a hand towel to cover up his balls during her promo at the spa, but Jericho and MJF working "So I'm saying that you're saying that if I'm saying""No what I'm saying is that you're saying what I'm saying" kinda stuff just goes nowhere with me. Honestly Jericho should have absolutely sicced his goons on MJF the second he brought up his hair (also Jericho is 50, it's not really "premature balding" if a dude is 50. The guy I went to high school with who had a horseshoe at age 18, THAT'S premature balding), or at least recommend he gets that neck freckle checked out right quick. MJF's Boy Meets World bully shtick just does not work for me in main event programs. 

-Cody/Cassidy came off as the weakest of the Cassidy prestige matches, and was one of Cody's weakest AEW singles matches (by memory only the Warhorse match came off weaker to me). It was really slow paced but never earned that pace, coming off flat instead of as "intense drama". Orange looked really small against Cody and a lot of his offense didn't look like it would crack an egg. The standing strike exchange was not good and I have no idea what those Cassidy chest palm strikes were supposed to accomplish. The slow pace really worked against the match and putting a beach break on the apron and in the ring so close together made Cassidy look even worse that they didn't finish Cody. The tornado DDT spot was nice, and Cassidy's dive was fine, but that time limit draw coming at the 2 count came off way too prepared and I don't think the match earned any of the solemnity they wanted to push at the finish. This whole thing came off like two guys working through injuries while trying to cover their injuries. 

-They kept calling Shida/Swole hard fought, and it kind of was, but the hardest fight was the timing of all the exchanges. Shida matches always have wonky timing moments, where either she gets off time or she throws her opponent off, and those happened throughout. You watch a match like this and see all of the ways it could have been improved and tidied up just by keeping things simple. Whenever they went into a more complicated strike exchange that required someone to be in a specific spot, that's when you got knee strikes that missed or a rolling elbow that had to be stopped mid roll. When they were just working headlock exchanges off Irish whips or knocking each other off the turnbuckle it played much better. Shida has undeniable charisma but the in ring has a long way to go. The same could be said about Swole, but she was the one getting more of her sequences thrown off tonight. There was a good match here somewhere, but too many little blunders. 

-I cannot believe they're still trying to make Tye Dillinger a thing. 

-Moxley/Archer felt the exact same level of sluggish as the Cassidy/Cody match earlier, and it had a similar layout with surprise kickouts of finishers that get immediately shrugged off because the next spot had to happen. Archer is such a goof. When he's wrecking jobbers in ring or in locker room he's nothing but screaming and flexing and at least comes off destructive. Here he works this methodical match that I think is supposed to make it seem like he's a monster with gravitas, but the match just comes off draggy and lame. I liked Moxley hitting dirty deeds to start the match, and the match would have been way more interesting had that just been the entire match. I thought this was a real dry match with the announce team trying to convince us it was a big time main event. Just like Cassidy hit the beach break on the apron and in the ring earlier, here Moxley hits dirty deeds off the apron through a table, and not long after hits it in the ring only for Archer to kick out. Moxley locks in the bully choke and Archer merely stands up and goes to the corner for the next spot. Whenever a match is laid out where a finisher is kicked out of to supposedly dramatic effect, only for the guy who took the finisher to be up and active literal seconds later, you know you're trapped in some bullshit. Kingston confronting Moxley after the match was infinitely better than anything in the match proper. 

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AEW Dynamite Workrate Report 8/27/20

What Worked

-Gauntlet matches are always kind of hard to write about, just because sometimes I love individual matches within a gauntlet, but you really have to talk about them as an entire segment. Overall, I think this match worked. It feels light to have only 4 teams in a gauntlet, and I have no idea how the order of entrants was chosen. Dustin/QT vs. the Bucks was solid, and any show that opens with Dustin (and, honestly, QT) is a good one. They work well together as a team, and I like QT as the Clear Weak Link in any match he's in. Dustin bumps generously for the Bucks (Dustin taking a huge hiptoss bump looked like me taking a hip toss from a 5 year old) and gets to show off as the fastest guy in the match, but also the strongest guy in the match (love that whipping powerslam). The double superkick after QT missed his silly handspring to nothing was timed really great. Bucks vs. Best Friends was better than anticipated, and it played as an extended run of Bucks offense (which is better than an extended run of Chuck Taylor offense). Trent eating a nice superkick and German suplex 1-2 on the apron looked good. The Hangman Page interference finish was weird and I don't want to have to follow these guys on social media or watch their different web shows to see why good buddies might be cranky with each other, but it came off stupid. FTR have underdelivered in AEW so far, and JR's commentary during their matches is unbearable. He always acts like he's saying something profound when he says "you know these guys remind me of an old school tag team" as if that hasn't been their one gimmick for the past 5 years. "You know, Kenny Omega always reminds me of some weeb geek who tugs it to anime." Yeah, no shit. But Cash hits a great snap vertical suplex on the floor to take out Trent, and Dax takes out Chuck's knee, so I am totally fine with this.

-Lance Archer would still be WAY more interesting if he was just limited to backstage assaults on nameless ring boys, but Sean Maluta really made the most of his squash debut and got big height on his bumps. Loved how Maluta flew on suplexes, and the height he got on the chokeslam put this up here.

-I don't know who did it, but I loved the GASP on commentary when MJF brought up Jon Moxley's hairline.

-8 man tag was fine, with the negatives talked about down below. Sonny Kiss looked really good, and as I pointed out after his less than stellar performance against Cody (which JR naturally deems AMAZING), he is a guy who really excels in frantic multiman tags. His stuff with Fenix was really electric (Fenix's rope work that lead to him getting knocked off, hanging his knee over the rope, looked real close to an injury), and I love the way Kiss darted around Butcher and Blade. The scouted  Matrix feint into a powerslam was a cool spot from Blade. Janela had a nice performance too, another guy who is improved just be being in a trios or 8 man. I liked the comedy gag he worked during picture in picture, taking leg kicks from Pentagon, no selling them, before collapsing in pain. He took a couple gnarly bumps, and his big bumps feel like a bigger part of the whole in a match like this (compared to his singles matches which have too many big bumps). Good match, would have rather seen Kingston wrestle than any of them.

-The Hardy/Sammy tables match ruled, and it's a real shame that it was somehow cut into by commercials. It's incredible how week after week they always manage to cut to commercials during actual big moments. I would have liked some more time in this match, felt like they ramped up to the kills pretty quickly. But at the same time I appreciated how they actually acknowledged within a match that going through a table is the only way to win, so they might as well go for that right away. It's a common stupid thing in wrestling to have a stipulation match where the participants work the first 5-10 minutes as if it were a normal match. Guys working armdrags in a first blood match, things immediately not breaking down in a no DQ match, it happens constantly. These men knew they had to put the other threw a damn table, and it was great. Sammy gets busted open, and they smartly take a couple of sick bumps through tables in ways that don't count. Sammy gets busted open (still nothing like that juice he got out of Hardy a couple weeks ago), flies through a table with a missed tope con hilo, Hardy misses an elbow through the table in painful fashion, Sammy gets stuck with a side effect on the apron, Hardy did a disgusting twist of fate while Sammy was wearing a chair around his neck, all of it looked great. This was a quick, violent, satisfyingly economical match.


What Didn't Work

-The commentary - JR in particular - always goes way over the top with comparisons, here comparing Lance Archer to Stan Hansen. JR is always the kid who cheats his way to an A+, not just staying out of sight with a B-. He always has to compare someone to the absolute best in wrestling history, and then you look up and see Archer hitting a so-so back elbow with his goober ass Burning Man braids flapping in the wind and it only makes me want to see Stan Hansen beat the shit out of him. Jericho fantasy books a 2020 Archer vs. 1976 Hansen match, and I wonder if Jericho has even seen 5 matches of 1976 Stan Hansen. What an odd year to pick for the guy.

-The balance is all off with MJF's promos. He's too smug to be stupid, but too stupid to know the right notes to hit. There's way too much school play villain and not enough believable villainy. He doesn't sound like he can think on his feet, as he never has a follow up when his opponent responds to one of his planned lines. I am genuinely curious what MJF has learned from watching Ernie Ladd tapes though, because that's not an inspiration that would have crossed my mind.

-Is Eddie Kingston the FIFTH MAN in a stable of Lucha Bros. and Butcher/Blade?? Seriously? Why sign Eddie Kingston so he can sit on the bench with a towel? He's not Jud Buechler. Plus, it's additionally stupid to have Kingston as the ringside mouthpiece, and then throw most of the match to picture in picture so we can't even hear Eddie Kingston. They constantly have wrestlers sit in on commentary, and Kingston would CRUSH commentary during these matches. It's like they signed him based on reasons that they immediately forgot. The wrestling in the 8 man was good enough, but you know what would have made it better? Eddie Kingston replacing literally anybody in the match.

-What happened here? Is Rebel/Reba supposed to be working a "not an actual wrestler, completely untrained to be in the ring" gimmick? Because she certainly convinced me. I can't remember the last time I've seen someone stumble around the ring that much, just getting in the way of absolutely everything. I can't blame Ford for much of this, even when she didn't look great, because it was always due to Rebal bumbling in where she didn't belong. Britt is a bright spot in AEW, and she could not save this.

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Matches from EVOLVE 142 12/7/19

Full Show

Colby Corino vs. Sean Maluta

ER: It always felt like the best possible Colby Corino ceiling was going to be "peak Jimmy Jacobs" and he's clearly working strongly in that direction. This was a straight match worked like a street fight, both guys working aggressively. There are some things that can still be tightened up, but he works quick and has a lot of strong ideas, and already feels really good at thinking on his feet and running through a deep bag of size appropriate offense. The two had a real nice brawl with Maluta hitting hard with chops and Corino throwing stiff kicks and nice punches, executing everything snug. These two craft interesting, engaging sequences around thing that should be treated that way. We get an awesome struggle over a vertical suplex, and a few sequences that don't wind up where I think they're going to. Corino has a nice whipping kick, cool standing cannonball, and his brawling looked good. He's definitely a guy worth seeking out at this point.


117. Eddie Kingston vs. Anthony Gutierrez

PAS: I love Eddie Kingston beating on guys. Gutierrez is an MMA guy, and pretty fun when he sticks to that, although he will delve into bad topes and questionable standing shooting stars. But Sharkbait is a great bumper, and he dies like Pat Tanaka on clotheslines and German suplexes. There was a fun near fall on a tight triangle which Eddie breaks by biting, and an incredible body shot combo in the corner by Eddie which he flows right into an STO. These guys had a couple of other matches which I need to get my hands on, it's a fun match up.

ER: I thought this was awesome, a terrific Kingston-as-Hashimoto performance, giving Sharkbait tons of paths to victory while absolutely killing him with his shots. Kingston hit some real monstrous stuff here, and some of the best moments came when Gutierrez would catch him unexpectedly. Kingston is such a perfect opponent for someone like Sharkbait, and I would have been entertained if this was just several minutes of Kingston eating leg kicks. Kingston is a guy who clearly has a ton of material at his disposal *just* for selling leg kicks, really feels like a guy who can have a compelling match even if you gave three restrictive challenges within a match. I loved seeing Gutierrez land kicks and the occasional knee, and the way Kingston raked his eyes to get back to control and land big chops. Every big move Kingston landed looked like death, from that big time STO, to a nasty 1-2 combo (that could have easily finished the match) northern lights bomb and DDT. Gutierrez took both of those moves as painfully as possible, really stuffing his neck on the DDT. I actually liked Sharkbait's tope, even if it didn't land hard I think the point was that Kingston was not expecting a tope and so it at least threw him back into the guardrail. So Sharkbait stuns him by throwing his whole body at him and then immediately lands one of his hardest strikes of the match, an elbow that shifts Kingston's jaw. It felt like a smart way to set up a big strike. Reversing a big cocky King powerbomb into a triangle was a smart play, but once he did a light slingblade I wanted Kingston to murder him with a backfist, and he did! I loved how these two paired off, Kingston really feels like the obvious best guy in wrestling to do modern Different Fight matches.


106. Timothy Thatcher vs. Arturo Ruas

PAS: Ruas is an amateur wrestler and ju-jitsu black belt who is a WWE signee. I have no idea how he will do in the WWE system but he is pretty fun working an Ambition/Bloodsport style worked shoot match with Thatcher. There was some pretty slick grappling here, I loved Thatcher stacking Ruas guard and going for a kneebar, only to get countered with kimura. There was some really powerful thumping body shots, and Ruas had a cool upkick and german suplex. It reminded me a lot of the Thatcher vs. Ishikawa series. Ruas isn't close to Ishikawa's level as a wrestler, but he is clearly a high level grappler and it was fun to watch Thatcher craft a wrestling match around that.

ER: This was definitely the most I've seen Ruas on the mat, and I think the match benefitted from that. I have a love/hate relationship with his capoeira, as some of the strikes can look cool and land from weird angles, but those same strikes can often force time to stand still a little bit while his opponent figures out where exactly they're supposed to stand to take this strike. I guess you could say that some of his strikes need to get to the point a little quicker. This is almost entirely on the mat and cooler for it, and yes it really does come off exactly like something on an Ambition or Bloodsport show. Thatcher really goes for that kimura, and we get the kind of grappling that just comes off absolutely exhausting. I appreciate that they weren't going for flash, but instead showing all of the effort that goes into just neutralizing your opponent. I loved when Thatcher was slowly making progress up Ruas's body, had his legs tangled in a grapevine and was pushing past Ruas's torso like he was going for a Regal stretch, and we get that slight shifting of body weight that allows Ruas to sweep immediately into guard and roll into an armbar. They kept the striking brief, limited to some Thatcher uppercuts and a big slap, and I liked Ruas popping up on his shoulders from the mat and hitting Thatcher with an upkick enziguiri. Ruas took advantage with a nice German (though I preferred Thatcher's big hip pivot belly to belly earlier in the match) and thought that Thatcher immediately reversing into a kimura was super logical considering the format. The finish felt a bit too jittery and Ruas left a few too many seams exposed, but the bulk of this was really cool.


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Matches from EVOLVE 140 11/10/19

Colby Corino/Sean Maluta vs. Kekoa/Mike Verna

ER: I was into this one because I really like Corino and Maluta has made a lot of jumps since teaming with Kingston, and this was those two against two guys who recently impressed at an Evolve tryout. So I was expected The Unwanted to just destroy them and instead they basically worked a competitive 50/50 match with two guys who worked like they had recently won a tryout competition. I was surprised to see both Kekoa and Verna have close to a decade of experience because both looked tentative and felt like rookies who were figuring things out. Verna is a muscle guy who they played off as a BIG muscle guy, and he does big muscle guy Brian Cage offense, but he's clearly Candido size. So you have a 5'9" 220 lb. guy out there doing slingshot suplexes walking to all sides of the ring and getting Maluta and Corino placed on him for tandem powerslams, but he barely looks like the biggest guy in the match. It was weird. Kekoa had a couple of nice strike combos, but had a hesitance to a lot of it and it felt like Corino and Maluta were waiting around longer than they should have been. I loved all the parts of The Unwanted on offense, so that's what makes the match worth watching. Maluta has some strikes that I wished he would use even more, because he really knows how to punch through an elbow strike, great form, and I like a lot of his double teams with Corino. 

Corino is wisely looking at Jimmy Jacobs as his ceiling, and I think he's a really good Jimmy Jacobs. He makes the most of his size and throws himself hard into every piece of offense, the way Spike Dudley would throw his whole body into his battering ram headbutt. Corino looks like a guy who shouldn't hit hard, but he's got great elbows and kicks and is awesome at recklessly throwing his body around. There's one sequence that kept threatening to turn into the kind of indy wrestling sequence that I hate, where Corino and Verna kept running across the ring hitting each other. So Corino would hit him and take off across the ring, followed immediately by Verna who hits him and takes off, followed immediately by Corino, etc. Those sequences are almost always trash, but Corino decks him with an elbow, mixes it up with a wicked yakuza kick, and instead of continuing the sequence he flings himself over the ropes into Kekoa, doing a sloppily effective tope con hilo. It always feels like Corino is throwing as much of himself as possible into his offense, and it makes everything he does read so much better.


Babatunde vs. Brandon Taggart

ER: Well this wasn't very good, filled with tons of moments I wouldn't want from a hoss fight (as they called it on commentary). I've seen Taggart around but its always in scramble matches, feels like a good time to really see what he can bring is in a match like this. And I did not like most of what he brought. He's got a look that really screams Backyard, with super distressed jeans and Murderface hair. I know he was in IWA Mid-South a lot and he wrestles like the only training he got there was "How to have the precisely exact bad body as Ian Rotten", just a pale pinkish lumpy bod. He looks like his entrance theme should be Also Sprach Keratosis Pilaris. There are several sections of really shitty "reversal striking" where they go through these tedious block dance sequences. Taggart throws a blocked back elbow which spins him around into a blocked forearm smash which spins him back around into a mule kick, which spins him back the other way into a tornado clothesline. It all looks awful, and they need to take that shit back to their Wednesday night square dancing class and keep it the fuck away from a hoss fight. Taggart also clearly struggles to get himself up to the 2nd set of turnbuckles. Babatunde has workable tools, like how his missed big splashes land where the opponent actually was, forcing Taggart to really roll far out of the way or still get hit. Babatunde also had a series of running shoulderblocks in the corner, first ramming Taggart in the guy, then backing up, running into his body, backing up farther and running in harder, etc. Babatunde feels like a guy who Shinya Hashimoto could have had a great match against. Brandon Taggart felt like a guy who paid to be on an Evolve show.


Anthony Gutierrez vs. Donovan

ER: This was literally one minute long, but it was a good minute. Donovan throws a bunch of strikes, rushes in and gets got by Sharkbait's one man Spanish Fly, and then immediately tapped with an armbar. But Donovan showed me a lot with his strikes, throwing great body shots and a couple nice elbow smashes, definitely seems like a cool guy to have as the flunky in Eddie Kingston's stable.


120. Eddie Kingston vs. Arturo Ruas

PAS: Kingston's run as the modern day Inoki continues as he takes on Ruas, a Capoeira and BJJ fighter who is in the WWE system for some reason. Ruas has some fun body shots and kicks and Kingston is a guy who can work a match around body shots and kicks. I really liked Ruas's scissors kick takedown and it was a fun precursor to Kingston banging him in the eye with a wrench for the DQ. Seemed a bit weird for Kingston to look for the way out, when he was more than competitive,  and it was a bit of a flat finish. But I really enjoy these minor key Eddie matches and I grabbed a WWN Live sub just to watch him work green Performance Center guys.

ER: Kingston really is great as a modern Inoki, and I'm sure there isn't anyone currently as good at being totally overwhelmed by someone's fighting style, getting his bearings, and storming through with his own style. That's what makes Kingston so great, right? His stubborn hardheadedness that allows him to rush into attacks, eat shots that could have been avoided with a stronger game plan, and still come out the other side swinging. Kingston makes the best befuddled faces as Ruas is picking him apart, getting King to bite on one strike before sneaking in hard body shots, and nobody is better than Kingston at selling a stitch in his side. I don't love Ruas's offense, and maybe it's happened but I don't think we've seen someone make capoeira work in a pro wrestling setting, but Kingston is really the perfect foil for all of it. He's great at bumbling and getting his timing thrown off while Ruas is dinking around in a handstand or something. Kingston really laces into Ruas when he finally gets hold of him, my favorite shot when King just grabs him by the dome and clonks him with a headbutt. I liked the DQ finish, but it's a disappointing finish that Kingston can do really well. Even though he was clearly landing as many shots as Ruas, I like him just bashing a guy in the eye with a wrench because "fuck it this ain't worth it". Ruas catching that flying body scissors and requiring Kingston to quickly work for a rope break was the line Ruas caught, Kingston deciding this guy is too problematic so let's find the quickest way to leave this party.


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Matches from EVOLVE 139 11/9/19

Colby Corino vs. AR Fox

ER: This had some problems, but it also had some things that made it very much worth my time. A lot of the problems I had were with Fox, because he's one of the flat out most uninteresting salesman in Evolve. He sells almost every move he takes the same way he sells moves that he delivers, and it makes his matches look like we're all just waiting around for something serious to happen. Delivers a cutter, stands up and does a little hyphy dance; takes a cutter, stands up and sells like a later step in that same hyphy dance. He sells "about to deliver a move" and "just got kicked" like a guy who is just figuring out he ate some bad whitefish. Oh, until the end, where instead of selling indifference, he sold being knocked out cold on a kick that looked like it missed. So he either sells a couple of kicks to the face by doing handstands a moment later, or he sells a kick near his face like Kurisu was his debut match opponent. But that's cool, because after that KO and great false finish he managed to get up and hit a 450 just fine. So Fox worked a match where Corino was competitive the whole time and genuinely looked like he might pull off an upset, and the way he shrugged through every part of the match really lessened the impact of Corino's performance. Corino had a couple off moments, but way more strong as hell moments. He looked like he flinched on that missed kick at the end, and I get it because he probably didn't want to cave in Fox's face (spot was Fox leaping off the top by Corino sidestepping and upkicking like he was Kawada). But he does so many little things well, like not skimping on less severe kicks (his kicks to the stomach are straight thrusts, and his super kicks have great full extension and actually look like he slides into it to increase impact), and he starts the match with my favorite lock up I've seen in months. He really goes in hard on the lock up, keeping low to shore up his gravity, and believably bulls the larger Fox across the ring. He has a couple of great logical reversals out of sequences, like a really nice ace crusher that came out of a fine battle over a vertical suplex, or the way he just starts punching Fox in the back of the head immediately after a Fox kickout, or how he snapmares Fox into a turnbuckle. This didn't need a ton to be a really good match, really all it would have taken was some extra effort from Fox, but this is just more proof of how good Corino is getting.


97. Sean Maluta/Joe Gacy vs. Anthony Gutierrez/Arturo Ruas

ER: Great way to work a match like this, just have the two different fight guys come in and do their tricks, have the heel team cheat like assholes, have both teams work funky double teams with a couple of stiff pinfall saves, and get the hell out of there before it all blows up. Gutierrez is great in matches like these, all fast kicks that land heel to gallbladder, a willingness to take some nasty spills, and a surprise tope con hilo onto both The Unwanted. Non-pro wrestler athletes are a glorious goldmine early on in their wrestling career, and if Gutierrez sticks to this I seriously doubt we'll see him trying loose but effective (and dangerous) stuff like that tope. It doesn't have any of the slickness that someone like Ricochet brings to the move, and it benefits from that, as it just looks like a guy winging his body best he can into two men larger than him. Maluta has great chops and a nice right, and uses both of those effectively here. Gacy cuts out BS handspring offense and instead sticks to lariating Ruas in the back of the head (to set up a Maluta chestbreaker), and his 360 lariat is perfectly used as the final killshot after Maluta punts Gutierrez in the balls FROM BEHIND! Everyone moved quick and didn't linger on anything, Gacy and Maluta constantly either getting overwhelmed by weird fighting styles while also finding fun ways to stay ahead of those fighting styles. Not everything is going to land (I still don't love Gutierrez's corkscrew shooting star that never quite lands, and some of Ruas's strikes can look silly), but this was a kick ass style clash.

PAS: This was fun stuff. Maluta and Gacy are a really good hard hitting team, and they make the beat down look good and really let the face team shine. I liked all of the double teams in this match, they all made sense, and looked good. I am all in on Gacy if he is going to limit his offense to hard clubs and nasty lariats. The announcers said that "Joe Gacy can do anything" but I really want him to just do one thing. Gutierrez is two steps forward, one step back, but the steps forward are fun steps, and I love wrestlers going to the body. Unwanted versus the Performance Center is a fun feud, and pretty much always delivers.


32. Eddie Kingston vs. Babatunde

ER: We wanted to watch Kingston against green Performance Center guys, and we are getting just that. Kingston vs. Giant isn't a match we get a lot, and there's a ton of joy to be had watching Kingston get ragdolled around while trying to rip a man's ear off. There's a Burt Reynolds movie I really love called Heat, and in it he gets hired to teach self defense to Peter MacNicol. Burt immediately takes things up to 10 and suggests in his first lesson that his go to move is ripping a man's ear off. "It's surprisingly easy to do, only held on by a little cartilage. Showing a man his own ear is a good way to get his attention." Kingston as down and out Las Vegas degenerate bouncer going after the ears of tough guys is my kind of Kingston. We're starting to get a real glut of "Big Man Launching Tiny Man" matches, what with AEW running at least two per week, so watching a big man try and throw someone who can land with actual size and sell those throws in unique ways, gives us a welcome twist. We get the old Vader/Cactus Jack spot where Kingston is hanging off Babatunde like a backpack, and Babatunde just takes a back bump to crush Kingston. Kingston's outstretched, frozen arm is a great sell for someone afraid to move because of damage incurred. Kingston keeps going to the ear, even after eating a big vertical suplex he rolls over and just grabs that damn ear. I like how Kingston takes big power offense, like the torture rack neckbreaker, or the pop up chop, but I like even more when Kingston just kicks Babatunde right in the balls. The match was "Relaxed Rules" and really outside of that ball shot and Kingston stealing and attempting to use the ref's belt, there wasn't much done that wouldn't have been allowed under Agitated Rules. But Kingston brought a ton of color to a big man battle, and scanning the Evolve roster I don't see anyone who could have given him a more fun match than the King.

PAS: I thought this was totally awesome, loved every second of it. Babatunde is aways away, but Eddie made all of his offense look great and really went after him with unhinged viciousness. There are so many great flavors of Eddie Kingston, nasty unprofessional asshole is one of them, this felt like him beating on Shane Storm. All of the ear attacks looked great, were really simple and made a ton of sense fighting a huge guy like Babatunde. Eric made a good point about how great Eddie is at taking huge power throws. He doesn't bounce, he thuds. I also loved his big German suplex, you could really see him using all of his leverage and strength to get Babatunde over. I can't imagine this match being worked better, what a performance by the King.


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WWE Cruiserweight Classic: Dark Matches

Oney Lorcan v. Cedric Alexander

PAS: Orney Locan is the ex Biff Busick, it is a pretty oddball name, but Biff Busick is also a pretty terrible name, it sounds more like a NXT create a name then the name that got created. After loving the Ibushi match, I am back to being unimpressed with Alexander. All of his stuff looks good, but he is more Tony Neeseish then an actual great wrestler. Lorcan was a nasty fucker in this, his leaping headbutt was awesome as was all of his different uppercuts, would have liked to see him break out some grappling, but he was great as a guy hitting hard. Worth watching just for him.

ER: Biff Busick at least sounds like the name of a human man. I personally have never known a person named Biff, but I have known two different men named Butch. But Oney Lorcan sounds so alien that you assume that it's an anagram or spells something foul backwards or rhymes with a dirty expression (Boney Porkin'?). But whatever, he's still awesome. His chops sound like they are getting the Lucha Undergound sound sweetening, he tosses out a bunch of uppercut variations that could look silly but instead look brutal, and then tosses out THAT headbutt. Cedric really does come off as "athletic guy doing athletic things" too often, but he also knows how to deliver some cracking strikes, and Lorcan takes some nasty stuff from him like that big suplex into the buckles. I thought most of this was super fun, and only kind of highlighted the additional awesome matches that could have happened if Lorcan had been in the CWC instead of a couple of the duds. Oh, and "It's hard not to get excited with action like this!" wins Daniel Bryan the award for "Vaguest Soundbite That Comes Up 4 Times Per Match While Playing Smackdown vs. Raw". You know you can picture Michael Cole saying it after you just did a snapmare as Trish Stratus.

Drew Gulak/Tony Nese v. Kenneth Johnson/Lince Dorado

PAS: Perfectly fun little tag match. Johnson is pretty green, but does have a nice underdog charisma, and plays nicely off of Gulak as jersey dirtbag Fuchi. Gulak is a beast, I loved his  JYD headbutt to break up a pin, Gulak is pretty much always worth watching no matter what he does. Neese is still kind of a lame-o, but he and Gulak had some fun double teams and I could see them as a nice team. If they end up doing something with Crusierweight tag wrestling I could dig this tag team.

ER: With the color scheme and makeshift team setting this had a feel of an early 2000s Velocity match, which gave it an almost inherent likability, even though I don't really like three guys in this match. Gulak is a favorite of mine, but Nese is more of an RVD without the dangerous bumps. Dorado has some of my least favorite offense, and Johnson just isn't very good. BUT, despite his badness Phil is right that there's some kind of charisma there, something to like. He may have done one of the worst double leg takedowns I've ever seen, but I oddly likely Johnson throughout this. Nese could only improve by working with Gulak, and I did love the two of them cornering poor Kenneth. Gulak locking on that nasty lucha sub was a highlight, as was Nese doing the one arm powerbomb to the floor, onto Dorado. Also liked how Gulak literally brushed off Dorado's strikes, because, yeah, those strikes looked brush-offable. Nese continues his streak of almost 450ing his face into the mat. This was just one of those odd matches that I didn't really think was good, but enjoyed watching it for the duration. It's not so much that I'm a complicated person; burdensome would be perhaps more appropriate.

Ariya Daivari/Sean Maluta v. The Bollywood Boyz

ER: I was prepared to dislike this one, but by the end it pretty easily won me over. That seems more like a testament to a simply worked traditional tag formula, but it won me over nonetheless. Bollywood Boyz definitely play better as a team than as singles, and Daivari is now seeming like the best guy in the tournament that got the most silent reaction. I started out groaning as I don't really care for the whole Bollywood dancing routine. It feels like actual guys from India doing an Indian minstrel show. But that died down as the match went on, and as they started working like an Indian Fantistics I got into it. Daivari bumped all over for them which helped them out a bit, as he made a double team battering ram in the corner look great and later flew recklessly and painfully to the floor. The Bollywood Boyz tandem offense kind of makes up for the looseness of some of it, although Gurv (?) throws a nice elbowdrop and had a fine hot tag. Plus, they're all tasseled out which is bonus gravy. Maluta didn't look great, seemed really lost at how to get into position for double teams, and capped it by throwing a really bad and awkward dropkick off the middle. Still, fine formula tag which showed the Boyz as a team wouldn't look out of place on the roster, and that Daivari is certainly the better Daivari.

PAS: Daivari did look great here, bumping around, being kind of a contemptuous dick to the Bollywood Boyz shtick. He felt like a guy who should stick around, maybe team him with Prince Mustafa Ali in a Saudi prince who comes to college and uses coke and BMW's to bang sorority girls gimmick. Bollywood Boyz clearly have a ton of experience working basic tag matches, and know when to work a hot tag, when to get heat etc., it felt very professional without really inspiring me.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE CWC

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WWE Cruiserweight Classic 7/13/16

PAS: Helmsleys fake Liev Schriber documentary voice was pretty bad. I get they probably couldn't afford Liev, but they could have at least sprung for Pablo.

1. Gran Metalik vs. Alejandro Saez

ER: Metalik is Mascara Dorada, and I have never seen Saez before. And Saez might have the absolute goofiest "stagger" selling I've ever seen. Watching him twitch around the ring after Metalik hit a superkick, well...it was something. His facials in general are just absurd. Dorada hits a big springboard flip dive, Saez surprises me with a shooting star off the apron, and Dorada wins in about 4 minutes. This wasn't much, any Dorada lightning match is more interesting than this. Saez hit a nice SSP but man was he goofy.

PAS: Saez was XL in Chile and I saw him during that brief period where a bunch of Chilean youtube showed up. I remember him as an amusing crowbar, and he was a little less crowbary here. That SSP off the apron was really nasty as was the high kick that set it up. I had no problem with Saez's facial selling, I am in on Chilean crowbar John Tatum, that is a wrestler I want to watch. Metalik is obviously a pro and will do fine.

2. HoHo Lun vs. Ariya Daivari

ER: I've not seen either of these two, but I must say I'm happy WWE went so far out of their way to bring guys like Lun into this. Quite the unexpected move. That said, Lun does not seem ready for prime time. He has super weak strikes, doesn't really have expressive selling, and was part of a few awkward behind the curtain moments (the worst being when he was breaking Daivari's grip, and Daivari was flexed as if struggling to maintain grip, and Lun moves his hands off Daivari's arms to clearly show Daivari was just struggling against himself). Yeah yeah we all know it's a show, but man did Lun expose some things here. Daivari looked a lot better here than his brother looked in Lucha Underground, so that's a plus. Daivari had a lot of polish and I much would have rather seen him advance. He missed big, smothered Lun with a headlock, fed into...whatever it was Lun was supposed to be doing. I think they were supposed to be moves. But one can't be sure.

PAS: Daivari had nice pop on his stuff, everything looked very sharp and professional. Lun is a guy who trained himself watching youtube, and kind of wrestles like it. I think it is cool that they got a Hong Kong backyarder into the tourney, no reason to have him advance though.

3. Clement Petiot vs. Cedric Alexander

ER: Didn't get much of a feel for Petiot here. His control segments were sound, but kinda boring. I liked his discus clothesline and liked how it set up Cedric's finisher, dug Cedric's big springboard clothesline, but this felt like they could do more with the limited time. And less Bryan talking about grinding.

PAS: Thought Petiot was fine, he and Davari should both be singed and be put together as a workhorse NXT tag team to put over guys they think have futures. I haven't care for Alexander in longer matches, but his flashy stuff works good in a five minute TV match.

4. Kota Ibushi vs. Sean Maluta

ER: Maluta seems pretty raw, fairly tentative, does some goofy stuff (top rope codebreaker, ugh), but I liked his big bump off the top to the floor off an Ibushi Pele kick, and liked his stiff superkick (with Ibushi turning right into it and falling like a felled tree). Maluta almost kills himself on a flip dive, catching the ropes and then getting a lucky break by hitting feet first on the apron with his momentum taking him into Ibushi. Most of this is a mini showcase of some trademark Ibushi flying, his slingshot moonsault to the floor, his nice standing moonsault, some quick kicks, nothing you haven't seen before if you've seen one Ibushi match.

PAS: I thought the announcers did a nice job of selling this as potential 16 v 1 seed tourney upset, and the match was worked like that. Maluta had no real shot coming in, but maybe Ibushi's neck is hurt or he has jet lag. Maluta's nutty blown dive really worked in the context of this match, he probably shouldn't have tried it, but he needed to try some David strategies to have any shot. That superkick looked great and was sold great and ended up being a big near fall. I thought this was an actively good match, and better then a lot of your pimped NJ Ibushi "classics"

ER: Well, let's hope the matches kick up a notch once we trim some of the first round dead weight. I love the idea on paper of giving these unknown guys showcase matches, but so far the unknowns have only shown that they don't have tons to show yet.

PAS: I thought this was good first show, Ibushi v. Maluta was good stuff and I thought a lot of the first round losers showed some real promise.

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