Found Footage Friday: BUNKHOUSE STAMPEDE~! CENTRAL STATES SHENANIGANS~!

Bunkhouse Stampede JCP 12/14/86

MD: Omni next week as we're going to give Eric more time to recover from D3AN. This was another recent drop from JCP's debut at the Rosemont Horizon (so says Charles and we believe him when he says things). Very good cross section of the talent here though obviously no Flair, Tully, Dusty, and Nikita since that was the main event tag. It's hard to talk about any one specific thing in this but I definitely have a few thoughts. 

The first is that this, more so than almost any other battle royal I can think of felt purely chaotic. Workrate, spots, any of that is impossible here because there are just so many people and there are a few weapons (boot, flimsy trash can lid, Animal's wrist spikes, a strap, etc) flying around moving from participant to participant. The second that someone starts to do something interesting, someone else comes behind them and nails them. Sometimes it registers, sometimes it doesn't. Animal got someone with the spikes but they didn't realize it was happening and they didn't sell it right. The match was full of stuff like that but somehow it's additive because it just adds to the feel. 

None of the usual critical tools to talk about wrestling (structure, selling, workrate, execution) work in an environment like this. You wouldn't want it all the time but as a novelty, it's fascinating, because these are still incredible talents and characters all interacting with one another and having to operate on the fly. No plan survives more than a few seconds and everything becomes reaction. 

You can follow the flimsy trashcan lid around the ring as different people get it and since you're never going to keep track of the action (Ronnie Garvin's in this and I couldn't tell you one thing he did and he'd be a great person to watch generally), it's a good center point. It's best use, by the way, was when Rick Rude wrapped it around Animal's skull. It was that flimsy but it's a great visual. Rude and Manny drove a lot of this, with Manny scrapping with Wahoo (a precursor to their AWA feud a little while later I guess). Lots of heat for both, but at the end it was Eaton and Animal and that went about as well for Eaton as you'd expect in Chicagoland. This was a bit of a mess but despite what certain people will tell you sometimes a mess full of tons of talent is exactly what you need.

ER: This was so great, appropriately released in the middle of a battle royal compilation video, directly before the Great Berzerker Battle Royal. This battle royal is great because it throws 25 or so of the best dressed photo album dads in the world into one crowded ring and just hangs out with them. Almost everyone bleeds, but it would have been just as good (better?) if they had just been in there drinking beers like they had just finished a softball game. The cagematch listing is not accurate, because there is no Dick Murdoch, Road Warrior Hawk, Big Bubba, or Baron von Raschke, but that doesn't matter. Well, maybe Dick Murdoch would have mattered. Okay Dick Murdoch with a 50-50 poly cotton blend t-shirt stretched over his stomach would have made a huge difference. This is a blood and fashion battle royal. Everyone is in their finest yard weeding jeans - except for Jimmy Garvin, who is by far the easiest to find man in the ring at all times - and old t-shirts and tank tops. 

Every man is dressed entirely appropriate for a Bunkhouse. Jimmy Valiant looks tall and powerful and exactly like Toby Klein just looked at D3AN. Bobby Eaton gets pummeled in the corner all match and survives all the way to the end until Road Warrior Animal throws him violently to the floor, Eaton swinging a weight belt at his face a few times before he's gone. Arn Anderson is an incredible focal point all match, a target in his red slacks and white t-shirt. He punches, he gets punched, he bleeds, he is eventually eliminated without his shoes. You see, more than one person removes their boots or shoes to use as weapons, and Arn's stocking feet up in the air is a reminder of that. Ole is in camouflage pajamas like he's Udo Dirkschneider in the "Balls to the Wall" video. Wahoo and Manny put on a helluva performance before eliminating themselves, punching each other bloody and bashing each other into ringposts. Ronnie Garvin looks incredible in his black sleeveless shirt (that gets ripped away at some point) and brown leather weight belt. Barry Windham stands tall in dark blue jeans and a dark blue tank, Rick Rude stands tall in part because of his cowboy boots. Tim Horner is in a goldenrod shirt and takes the fight well to everyone larger than him, meaning everyone but Bill Dundee. Bill Dundee is in town because he had to leave Memphis in July, and he runs around hitting everyone and pulls these great I'm a Little Guy faces whenever someone tries to lift him up and over. Dutch Mantell is dressed like Bunkhouse Buck, who modeled his entire fashion on Dutch Mantell in a Bunkhouse Battle Royal.  

As far as drunken softball fights go, you've seen better. But I don't think wrestling fashion ever approached being this good again. Everyone knew exactly what kind of fight they were headed into. The red Ricky Morton and the purple Robert Gibson, the kneepads over the jeans, the Yard Work Outfit Supreme. Just throw on some old shoes that you don't mind getting dirty, some pants you don't mind kneeling in, find a bandana you can tie around your pants, or like the Bullet, around your neck. You know the drill. You've never seen 25 better dressed wrestlers in any one place at any one time and you never will again. This was the golden era, when men knew how to dress for a fight.  

Ken Timbs vs. Rufus R Jones (Boxing Match) Central States 3/28/85

MD: Next two are from one of our other great archivists, being Ben/ArmstrongAlley/KrisPLettuce, who has just organized some Central States. This was passed off to me as especially awful, and it's not quite as embarrassing as it could be. You think of the Piper vs T boxing match with the heavy gloves and T getting gassed as awful. The problems here were entirely of a different sort. 

If anything, there were two many punches. There was zero drama over the first few rounds. Jones just kept punching away again and again and Timbs kept his hands up until he couldn't and went down multiple times. There haven't been THAT many worked boxing matches in wrestling but the trick is to treat them like a wrestling match with boxing trappings and not a boxing match in a wrestling ring. That means that you do shine/heat/comeback as much as possible and in the shine, you should have the heel get some false advantages and then eat comeuppance. There was nothing of that here. Just Timbs walking into fists and selling as Jones chugged along. There wasn't a build to any highs at all. It was just a dull train moving slowly.

When he did take over in later rounds, it was because he was valiantly outpunching Jones in the corner. Only after he took over did he jab him in the eye with his thumb as Gary Royal distracted the ref. Totally backwards. Then later on Royal distracted the ref and Timbs got a knee in to take back over again. Only then he kept doing the knees when the ref was looking once more. One knee, followed by punches. That's the way to go. Maybe a second one that gets caught which could have led to the further distraction and Royal slipping the object in to Timbs' glove (because that was necessary) but don't just do it blatantly in front of the ref. 

Just no artistry, no build, no payoff. The place where that did happen was on the finish as there was a dramatic power around the object (which the fans noticed) and Jones had to duck it repeatedly before getting it himself and KOing Timbs with his own loaded glove. Maybe it was more powerful to put all of the actual "pro wrestling" part of this right at the end, but I don't think so. Just completely tossed the comparative advantage out the window and then didn't even make it believable for all the punches that Timbs was just eating.  

Gypsy Joe vs. Mr. Pogo (Chain Match in a Cage) Central States 3/28/85

MD: Well, this is definitely down our alley. Yes, there's a cage. It's about seven feet tall, I think. It doesn't come into play except for to set the mood and to show that they're enclosed and no one can get in and no one can get out, and in this case, I'm perfectly fine with that. There's enough going on with the chain after all. 

This was touch the corners, but they didn't try for a bit. Joe's advantage early on was fun, as he went after the foot first and then dodged a chain shot causing it to recoil and hit Pogo in the face. Pogo took over with it wrapped around his fist and didn't look back. One chain punch after the next, opening up Joe. The VQ is what it is, but you can tell he bled big. Eventually he went to touch the corners though and that let Joe come back. They did a good job of really building up anticipation for his first punch. He started going around and Pogo held him back until Joe finally charged in and took a shot that knocked him into the fourth corner.

Post match the cage did come into play. They had said that Sheik Abdullah the Great's New York Office had said he was on a fishing trip but he came in wearing a disguise with the heels to help beat on Joe and it took a while for the babyfaces to make the save. A good post down beating even if it was surrounded by the extra stuff. Otherwise, a nice minimalist bloody affair.