WWE Hell in a Cell 2018 Behind Live Blog

The New Day vs. Rusev/Aiden English

ER: Weird match, basically worked like a face vs. face tag, and also weird because it started slow and then basically immediately went into a fun extended nearfall finishing stretch. Early parts didn't do much, outside of Rusev saving a sequence that saw Kofi almost land short on a springboard, and instead Rusev nabs him off his shoelaces and slams him. Big E has maybe the best standing splash ever, making up for extreme fat guy girth with unbeaten height and impact. E also hits the insane spear on Rusev to the floor, and every time he does that spot I feel the need to mention what an insane spot that is. The nearfalls all suckered me in, thinking English was going to steal the pin on E, then being shocked when English kicked out of that double stomp from the top rope. Rusev hitting Kingston with a superkick as Kingston was going for a plancha should have been used in a bigger moment, I think. That looked pretty devastating, I would have liked to see that lead to Rusev/English beating down E for the win. Still, the nearfalls got me into the match, turned into something worthy of the pre-show (not totally a sarcastic statement, as I find that pre-show matches deliver more often than not).

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

ER: I like the red cell, gives it a weird Argento vibe. I just saw the new flick Mandy and it's possible I just got accustomed to saturated reds. Apparently Jeff is in the mood to "do something crazy tonight", which I'm hoping means that he's aiming to work a sensible, logical Hell match. I don't really care about either of these guys, so it's going to be tough to care about this one. I do like that Hardy seems to bring the best out of Nakamura, which doesn't really make sense, but I've enjoyed both Hardy/Nak matches more than I thought I would. I was kind of playing with the idea of having Rachel write this match up, while I go do something else, but that's a needlessly cruel thing for me to do to someone who is so nice. I liked a Hardy bump into the cage, and Orton was taking some amusing pratfalls into the cage and post (including a silly moment where he pinballs into a couple surfaces), but this started to drag once Orton dragged weapons out. The chairshots to Hardy were nice, Hardy getting tossed on an upside down ladder looked fine, but the tempo really lagged. Tempo lagging, in an Orton match. You read it here. And THEN...Orton turns this into a scene from Hostel. Orton gets a screwdriver from under the ring, traps Hardy's arms, and starts yanking at Hardy's stretched earlobes with his finger, jams the screwdriver into the holes (Hardy clearly wears plus, but not during matches, so he has big holes in his ears that Orton was manipulating), and starts twisting and stretching the lobe with the screwdriver. It looked really unsettling, and Hardy is crazy enough that I was cringing and expecting Orton to just yank right through the skin while the HD cameras were zoomed in. That really feels like a spot you'd see in classic IWA Mid-South. Hardy gets a great comeback afterwards, whipping Orton with his studded belt (which leaves marks) and hitting a stiff swanton off the top, with Orton under a chair. But, we then go into an interminably long prop set up, just way way too long. Two ladders and a table, all while Orton is just stumbling and rolling around. Hardy swings on the top of the cell like he's on the uneven bars and then drops straight down through a table (because Orton had moved some time during the 3 minutes Hardy climbed the ladder and posed). And that's it. Hardy fell through a table, and they're treating it like it was Owen falling from the rafters. Hardy's fall was certainly stupid, dropping fast, basically face first through a table, but it made him look like a dummy. Not a sympathetic dummy, either. Just ended the match on a weird quiet note.

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

ER: Lynch is the clear babyface to this crowd, with Charlotte hardly getting any reaction during her introduction. I liked the takedowns, but we hit a patch of clunkiness where Lynch feeds Charlotte her leg, Charlotte whiffs on it, then they stumble around trying to get into the submission they were going for. Looked bad. It's also funny seeing Charlotte work a kneebar on Lynch, which just makes the crowd cheer more for Lynch. Charlotte misses a cool shoulderblock into the turnbuckle, horizontal, the way Berzerker did it, and Lynch accepts the "ugliest submission set-up" challenge by taking forever to get into an armbreaker spot, then loses her grip halfway through. Maybe neither of you should do submissions anymore in this match. Charlotte is not a babyface. Even when she sells a limb she makes these exaggerated Regal scowl facials. Lynch is working her arm but it just makes the fans cheer her armwork more. Charlotte is such a natural heel, every mannerism she does, every move she does, looks like the way a heel would do it. These two really aren't great at setting up offense for each other. Or, maybe they have implausible offense. I'm not sure. I was surprised to see Lynch get the win, wish it would have come in a better match. Or, that Charlotte didn't have to be involved at all. I am very happy that Becky did not shake hands afterwards.

Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

ER: Well...I like McIntyre! Ziggler can't even do cool stuff right. He tries to worm his way into my good graces by raking Rollin's face with his boot eyelets, but we all know he wears those stupid 1996 Shawn Michaels motorcycle style boots, so he doesn't even have exposed eyelets. Ziggler knows a bunch of cool references to make at a party, but he doesn't actually know anything about the references so he has no conversational ability. "I really like that new album from Yo Soy Tengo!" Dean Ambrose looks almost identical to Santino during his last run. They have the same face, same hair, same little goatee. Dolph does some nice smothering chin and face locks on Ambrose, rubbing his wrist tape across Dean's eyes and mouth, and that's something that actually looks really good. Slingblades by Seth? That's something that never looks good. But we go a bit too long on the Ziggler control sequences, although it lead to a great moments where McIntyre got tossed through the ropes by Rollins, only for McIntyre to yank Ambrose off the apron before a tag. We get another nice non-tag where Rollins actually does tag Ambrose but the ref was distracted. That stuff worked 40 years ago, it works now. The longer this goes and the more they keep this like a southern tag instead of how the Ziggler/Rollins matches were worked, the better this gets. They finally acknowledge that Rollin's tope can't tear through wet paper, having McIntyre/Ziggler catch it before getting toppled by an Ambrose tope. Rollins muscling through Ziggler's leaping DDT and turning it into a Falcon Arrow looked really cool, nice nearfall. I don't love Rollins' home stretch offense, but only because most of his offense doesn't look any good. McIntyre was really great at feeding it, though, and the crowd reactions were big. His frog splash lands with impact, and that matters. The finish is a fantastic way to turn a majorly stupid Rollins spot into a great heel finish: Rollins hits his superplex and rolls through, because Rollins thinks a superplex isn't kewl enough on its own, and as he's rolling through to do another, McIntyre runs in with the shotgun kick. Ziggler still gets suplexed by momentum, but winds up on top. This match really should have sucked, but McIntyre and Ziggler actually knew how to work as a strong heel team, and stuck to a classic tag formula that's worked for decades and still gets the hot reactions. This was good.

Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

ER: This whole feud is pretty cringe, having to hear phony WWE announcers say "Well the thing I like about AJ Styles is he's a good father" is very much dumb. Pretending this is just about a title and has no sort of forced family involvement, and I'm into Joe's heel work. He takes AJ's legs out a couple times (once with an awesome legsweep to the shins), grinds the toe of his boot before doing the face wash, lands some hard back elbows, big enziguiri, heavy as hell tope that AJ bumps wildly into the edge of the announce desk, nice solid stuff. Styles is a good guy to get over a hell, that's for sure, as he really makes sure their moves land. He even whips himself into Joe's knees on an Asai moonsault, and Joe's follow up powerbomb looked good. The fireman's carry bomb was a bit much, as Joe kind of had to stand still while Styles got him up, and looked more like he was trying to stay balanced than not get dropped. Sadly none of this really feels any different than any match we've seen between them. This was supposedly after Styles was super insulted by Joe bringing Style's wife into things, but AJ is working this similarly to their match last month. Joe's full speed burning lariat makes me kind of not care about that though, as Joe levels him and AJ goes inside out and upside down. I like the finish in execution, though I don't really want it to lead to another match. We've seen them work similar matches on big shows twice now, without seeming like anything had actually advanced. So what does AJ tapping while also pinning Joe actually LEAD to? A third match? Is it going to just be them doing exactly this for a third time? Or will they do something interesting like a submissions only match? I think that would be the most interesting next step, if they continue the feud.

Maryse/Miz vs. Brie Bella/Daniel Bryan

ER: Miz does a lot of things I like in practice but lacks a lot of the execution. He needs better kicks and stomps to really come off like a punk. When he was stomping Bryan into the corner to start, those were some of the worst corner stomps in the fed. The mannerisms are there, I even like his loopy southpaw punches, but there is other offense that really needs to be tightened up. Bryan looks fantastic in this, as really he's looked fantastic ever since his return. Bryan throws really nice worked punches on Miz in the corner, in a way I don't recall him regularly throwing punches before. I have no doubt he's a guy who can pick up something like that quick. Bryan does a slick crossface attempt out of a Miz schoolboy, and damn does Bryan miss hard into the turnbuckle, really Psychosising himself. I liked Miz' backbreaker/neckbreaker after, with a hard chinlock. They've done a really good job building to the women, earlier having Brie chase Maryse around the ring, having Maryse act like she was going to start but slowly stepping back to the apron. We get a very good hot tag tease once Bryan and Miz start crawling toward opposite corners and Miz just opts to elbowdrop the back of Bryan's neck. But they handle the tag itself great, with Miz getting dumped to the floor and Maryse forced into the ring, Brie getting a louder reaction than almost anybody else so far. Brie can be botch-y, but she's got energy and you want energy like this from your hot tag. The finish was good on paper but ugly and limp in execution. I like Maryse getting the fluke roll up, but they were all so stumbly getting there. I think it was a mistake having Brie hit the knee, as that seems like way too tough a move for Maryse to take and then get a roll up moments later. They got a little complicated with the timing of things at the finish, and it bit them. Before that I would have nominated this for our 2018 Ongoing MOTY List, but things got just a bit clunky there. Still, probably my favorite match of the night.

Alexa Bliss vs. Ronda Rousey

ER: I like how Ronda has that "I learned something new since my last match" thing going for her, gives her matches a bit of a vibe where you're not sure what might happen. You don't get people as freshly trained as her in major WWE matches, so she's in a pretty unique spot this year. We get some fun smoke and mirrors stuff with Aleza's crew of Mickie James and Alicia Fox, with them saving her from a beating one moment and getting Bliss thrown at them the next. Their presence is a good equalizer that allows us a believably longer Bliss match against Ronda. Bliss is good in control, I like her putting the MMA queen in a classic arm trapped chinlock and then hitting flashy handstand kneedrops. Ronda had a real nice sell of a rib injury when she tried to throw Bliss, and Bliss is great pushing into Ronda's ribs with her boot. I liked the stuff they worked in the corner, Ronda going for a suplex and Bliss giving body shots, dropping down and eating a shot to the eye from Ronda, but winning the battle by yanking her down from the buckles. Bliss working Ronda's ribs around the ringpost was one of the better spots of the night. Rousey's selling was really good, totally bought in. With Mickie in there you KNOW she's going to take a shot or two from Ronda, it is after all what Mickie was put on Earth to do. Mickie takes a great ringpost bump, getting run down the apron into it by Ronda, so thank you. Bliss is great at exploiting Rousey's rib injury, picking her shots, kicking at her, then taking it too far by smashing Ronda's face with her hand while taunting her. Rousey knew how to play the babyface to the back row by slowly standing up while Bliss feebly holds her by the throat. Bliss's facials throughout this sequence were great. I thought Ronda would steamroll from there, but there was a great final Bliss moment where she caught Rousey with a mule kick on a charge. Ronda came back, but I like that they kept Alexa in it until the very immediate tap. Ronda played her comeback perfectly, hitting this vicious gutwrench powerbomb and milking the final submission to great reaction. I loved this.

Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I liked a lot of work in this, both guys are good opposite the other both will bump bigger than they are, but I think they went to "we're having a WAR" death slo mo selling WAY too early, like 7 minutes in. That's preposterous when we've seen what these two have gone through before. Roman hits the cage well for a big guy, and the spot with Braun catching a chair as Roman swung it was cool, Roman runs face first into the ring steps (wielded by Braun), Reigns spears Braun through a table in spectacular fashion, but the match felt a little dullsville.   They were doing stuff that works and has worked, but it just felt a little dry. And, as I said, they went to the dramatic selling way too early. The match takes a weird turn though, as we eventually end up with Ziggler, Rollins, McIntyre, and Ambrose all scaling the Cell and fighting on the top. What Braun and Roman were doing during the several minutes they were all up there? I have no clue. We just cut away from Braun and Roman for several minutes, as if my feed just skipped ahead to entirely different match. The fighting on top of the cage is both gimmicky, but also provides a really cool and unique visual. As many Cell matches as there have been, we really don't see a situation where guys fight REALLY HIGH UP any more. They don't do scaffold matches, which is understandable but sad, so the top of the Cell is the only option. And it looks cool when guys fight up there, even when it's the shittiest punches fucking ever being thrown by Ziggler and Rollins. Just the most breathlessly shitty punches you've seen. BUT, they're thrown really high up on a not totally trustworthy surface. And motherfucking Brock Lesnar shows up when Rollins and Ziggler fall to their death, and nobody can pretend to hate this dude because the AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas ERUPTED for flesh beard Brock. Brock got arguably the loudest reaction of the night, and this man is the smartest pro wrestler since Kevin Nash. Brock comes in, Heyman pepper sprays guest ref Mick Foley (who barely was noticed in this match)(and this pepper spraying also seems like a great IWA Mid-South spot), rips a panel off the cell, uses the panel as a ramp to casually stroll into the ring, and wrecks everybody that's still breathing, walks out of there the biggest star of the night for a couple minutes work. The match has to be stopped because Brock beat up both guys too much. Match cancelled on account of BROCK! I guess we build to another monster 3 way? Run it, I'm down.

ER: I thought this PPV overdelivered, as I was really only excited about a couple matches on the card. Not only did those two deliver (the mixed tag and Bliss/Rousey), but matches I was considering skipping (the tag title match) turned out way better than expected. There were enough down moments to keep most of this card off of many MOTY Lists, but a lot of the matches had high floors. They got the big flub out of the way early with Orton/Hardy, and while I didn't like the Lynch match it left on a high impression because her victory was unexpected AND came off well. If some moments weren't always good, there were plenty of interesting and different moments to make the show stand out a bit. Even the so so Orton/Hardy match had that freaky as hell earlobe spot that I definitely won't forget. That's a win, as a show.