Segunda Caida

Phil Schneider, Eric Ritz, Matt D and occasional guests write about pro wrestling. Follow us @segundacaida

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

2012 Match of the Year

John Cena v. Brock Lensar WWE 4/29/12

PAS: You often here this match compared to the best Sting v. Vader matches, but rewatching it, it actually reminded me more of the Cactus Jack v. Vader series. The beating Lesnar lays on Cena breaks the boundaries of pro-wrestling, in the opening seconds Lesnar slices open his face with MMA elbows and lands downed knees which look like they broke Cena's ribs. Lesnar felt truly dangerous, something completely other, the MMA gloves and Jimmy John's shorts were like nothing anyone had seen in the WWE, and that flurry at the beginning signaled that this was a different thing. Cena was great as the foil for the monster, he was overwhelmed and destroyed, but you always believed he had a punchers chance. His powerbomb from the Kimura is one of the great strength spots in wrestling history, and I loved how the kept teasing Chekov's bicycle chain, until that final big punch. Lesnar is a total nutball, he leaps full sped headfirst into a fist covered with a chain. Totally crazy one punch KO, Lesnar starts leaking immediately, and is a glassy eyed mess. Great finish, to arguably the best match in WWE history

ER: I don't honestly understand how a lot of this was allowed to happen. A giant man was basically allowed to give brain damage to the company's top money maker, and do all sorts of moves that looked like they could have severely damaged any of Cena's limbs. Cena is a lunatic, and Brock is a monster. This is Batman without his utility belt going up against Bane hopped up on Venom. Cena takes an absolute thrashing, genuinely getting hard to watch at times. Lesnar busts him open early with an elbow to the side of the head, clobbers him around like nothing, and then lands one of the grossest knees to the ribs you've seen. Cena is lying fetal and Brock just rears that knee back and blows right through him, it looked like Cena's entire torso collapsed, then Lesnar pushes him out of the ring with his feet, as if he were shoving a bag of Quikrete out the back of a truck. And it just keeps getting worse. Lesnar continues caving in Cena's insides.

At first the crowd is belting out dueling chants. And at one point it just gets quiet. People are suddenly just watching an elephant slowly drown. A mom is holding her kids in the front row. All you see are open mouths, everywhere. Brock is wiping Cena's blood on himself, kneeing him more, raining down isolated fists that look the same size as my head. Cena takes a couple of lariats that look man-killing. At one point Charles Robinson takes a nasty bump into the ropes and to the floor, which all leads to Lesnar tying Cena's legs with his own dumb chain. Lesnar rips at Cena's arm - and I do mean rips, as it looks like he can literally rip Cena's arm from his torso. With his feet chained, Cena gets hung from the ring post by his ankles, and it comes off incredibly organic. We've all seen lame "tie a guy's hands to the ropes" spots, and they're always a major mental stretch. Here it seems like Cena had no say in the matter, Brock was going to hang him by his fucking ankles. Brock goes on the bang Cena's arm into the apron a couple times, with Cena's pain being palpable the whole time. We get an all time insane moment when Lesnar does a flying hip attack to knock Cena off the apron, and comes in too hot and too high, flying totally protected over the top and crashing HARD on the floor. We rarely witness a flying wrestler not in control of their own body, but here was 300 pounds of mass that had no clue where it was headed. This sounds dramatic, but he literally could have died. Seeing him unexpectedly fall, he just as easily could have dropped straight onto his head. Finish is flat out perfect. Cena's chain has been teased as a weapon all match, only coming into play when Lesnar wrapped up Cena's legs earlier. But Cena eyes that chain on the floor, discreetly wraps his fist, and when Lesnar goes for another leaping shoulderblock Cena just clocks him right between the eyes. Lesnar goes out like a light and the crowd erupts. Lesnar just Wile E. Coyote'd himself into Cena's tunnel-painted-on-bricks. An AA on the ring steps makes this academic, and perfect. I'm with Phil, as at the moment I cannot think of a WWE match I love more. A true, unduplicatable masterpiece.


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Blogger Discotortoise said...

I actually on my own accord watched this match before I saw this and was amazed.

It felt ALMOST as good as I thought but had one or two nitpickish things. The one that's really huge is Lesnar taking that insane bump and then really just no-selling it. And the finish is kinda reliant on that spot, too (the padlock to the head/AA onto the step where Brock nearly gets whiplashed is great great great, always hated people who said that it wasn't enough).

But like, Brock just ate shit going for that same thing before. Why would he do it again? It's reminiscent of the great bump in the Eddie match and a callback to the idea that what most often beats Brock Lesnar is Brock Lesnar and his absolute hubris. So I get him doing it again just because but that's kind of stupid booking at the same time.

My MOTY for 2012 is Hell No More-Shield at TLC which is only behind Honda-Togo for match of the decade.

7:23 PM  
Blogger EricR said...

I disagree, and loved how Brock handled that insane drop. Here's why I think it works, and works perfectly: So Brock's athleticism works against him. He leaps into Cena and soars over the top, crashes hard as HELL. That's 300 pounds that is literally out of control. Everything with him on the floor felt real. His scream, him immediately grabbing at his knee, trainers running over. He gets up limping, and that feels real. And he walks on it...and it's okay. And he fucking laughs! That dude knew he cheated death and came out of it unscathed. And it just makes too much sense to me that Brock does something stupid, lives to tell about it...he's going to do it again. This guy just established that he was bulletproof. He's going to re-do that spot just to show that he can do it and that he wasn't rattled by his fall.

11:53 PM  
Blogger Discotortoise said...

Yeah, I CAN accept the "his hubris is his downfall" argument.

4:59 PM  

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