SLL's All-Request Tuesday Afternoon

The Southern Boys vs. The Freebirds (WCW, 1990)
Requested by Victator

This was the first of a best of three match series for the "Southern Tag Team Championship", which I had never heard of before, and which no records of actually exist. Until someone tells me otherwise, I'm guessing this was the Freebirds' Million Dollar Belt. It's not like I've ever gone out of my way to watch a lot of early 90's Freebirds matches, so I wouldn't really know.

Anyway, one of the big questions working on the Texas set left me with was how did Michael Hayes go from being so great in his '88 World Class run to being so bad in his '89/early 90's WCW run. This match does not provide much in the way of answers, though, because the 'Birds are actually pretty good here. Neither him nor Garvin are what they were in 1984, but they can both still throw hands and heel it up for the crowd, which is all either of them really need to do. Michael Hayes does that terrible "I will pin you by kneeling on your arms and posing so you can take me over in sunset flip position" spot, but other than that, no real complaints about their end of the match. The Southern Boys were a fun, high energy offensive team. Steve Armstrong had really pretty dropkicks, and Tracy Smothers made a great FIP. At one point, he eats a kneelift from Garvin on the apron and flew backwards into the guardrail. Nasty. Their finisher was pretty nifty, too. Not blowaway great or anything, but definitely a fun diversion.

Koji Kanemoto vs. Hayato Jr. Fujita (NJPW 5/26/2011)
Requested by Wrestling_KO Mike

Wow, I actually get to review a good 2011 puro match? It kinda figures, what with these being two really good wrestlers with a proven track record against one another. What's interesting to me though is that looking at it structurally (and taking away the expectations that come with the names "Kanemoto" and "Fujita"), I should have hated this match. It basically breaks down into two halves: one built around back-and-forth strike exchanges (the bane of 21st century puro matches), and one built around back-and-forth finishing hold exchanges (the bane of Kurt Angle-style workrate matches). You tell me that's how a match is structured, and I'll usually actively avoid it. So why does Kanemoto and Fujita trading forearms work when Sekimoto and Soya trading forearms in the match I reviewed last week didn't? For that, I direct you to something I wrote recently at the ProWrestlingOnly forums.

"Sell things the way you want people to buy them."

Kenta Kobashi and Kensuke Sasaki doing their big chop exchange at the Tokyo Dome in 2005 was a big, spectacular moment in a big, spectacular match. The idea that you can just throw that spot into any old match by two guys cosplaying as Kobashi and Kensuke and it will make your match a bigger deal is moronic. Kanemoto and Fujita are two jokers trying to replicate a tired spot that's long since had it's meaning sucked out of it. Kanemoto and Fujita are two angry pricks who are going to keep charging each other until the other goes down, and unlike all the other pretenders, it damn well looks like it. The botched apron double kick spot aside, everything was laid in hard and sold appropriately. The technical exchanges in the second half were super-slick and entirely convincing. Kurt Angle spent practically every match he's been in since the Rumble '03 Benoit match trying to recreate it. Within a month, his routine went from revolutionary to old hat. This felt as fresh and vital as Angle's work doesn't. They took a formula almost perfectly designed to drive me away, and they had me reeled in the whole time. I had not been paying very close attention to the Super Juniors tournament this year, so Hayato Jr.'s win caught me by surprise, too. Looks like it even caught him by surprise. Offhand, it struck me as the least of their three matches, but they are three very, very good matches, so that should not be read as a criticism at all. This is the real deal.

Sheik Khan Abadi & The Suburban Commandos vs. Johnny Plinko & Circum-Sexy (DMW 6/18/2011)
Requested by FLIK

I don't know what a Devil Mountain is, but it sounds like a great place to have a wrestling match. That said, I don't know how I feel about this one. As the unofficial internet consultant to the United Wrestling Coalition, I've watched a lot of poverty row indy wrestling lately. But while these guys were able to pull off bigger spots than the UWC crew usually goes for, I didn't always get the sense that they were any more polished than them. Pretty comfortable saying no one in this match was as on point as 2011 Twiggy Ramirez. And that's not a huge insult or anything, but it's not necessarily a great honor, either. I do want to say I liked the Suburban Commandos. They didn't use "It's a Nice Place to Live (But I Wouldn't Want to Visit)" as their theme, which feels like a missed opportunity, but they had a lot of big offense that I really liked. They had some cool double team spots. The military press dropped into a gutbuster on the other guy's knee was a personal favorite, as was their finish, an inverted flapjack into a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo. One of them also had a nasty snap backdrop. The finishing stretch was pretty suplex heavy, and I thought that was easily the best one. But they also had this one move where one of them had Johnny Plinko in wheelbarrow position, and Plinko willingly suspended himself straight outwards in the air so Sheik Abadi could come off of the ropes with a DDT. Business = exposed. And then there's the matter of the other four guys in the match. Sheiky baby threw some neat kicks and a running double knee, and broke out what I can only describe as a trust fall suicida, but he also had some really awkward moments, like a hot tag where he tried to get a little too fancy knocking the other heels off of the apron, and ended up rolling around out of place like a dolt. He wasn't awful or anything, but he left something to be desired. Then there were the heels. I didn't get the sense that any of them were terrible, but this was not a great showing for them. They tried to do this elaborate heeling shtick at the top of the match, but they had to choreograph it to involve all six guys doing the same thing at once, and the timing was way off. Really made it feel too stagey. They also were not afraid to stand around huddled together on the outside waiting forever to catch dives. That's not entirely their fault. I can understand the trust fall suicida taking too long to set up and them just being stuck waiting to eat it. But does catching one of the Commandos axehandles off of the apron require that much prep work? Beyond that, they seemed pretty non-descript. They also had a really superfluous manager. Seriously, he stood there the whole time during the opening micwork, and I don't think I even realized he was there until after the heels first got driven out of the ring. Even then, I wasn't sure he wasn't just the ring announcer or something. He did get involved later on, but I still don't know why he exists. Yeah, there was some interesting stuff going on here, but overall, it just didn't do it for me.

Eddie Gilbert vs. Ricky Morton (USWA 7/11/1992)
Requested by Tim Evans

Wow. So this is a roughly ten minute match between two really great wrestlers, who have kinda similar skill sets, though they tend to use them in different ways that would compliment each other. Two guys who are very much about dynamic brawling, dynamic selling, and dynamic playing to the crowd. This match is about dynamic nothing. I was genuinely stunned by how much this bored me. Did not see that coming at all. The match is mostly built around Morton keeping Gilbert trapped in an armbar, and these seem like the kind of guys who should be able to make that compelling. And well, it's not like either of these guys are Mutoh sitting around in a hold, but they're not what I expect from Morton and Gilbert, either. There really just isn't that much to talk about here, which is good in that it's Tuesday afternoon, and this was supposed to go up on Friday night, but not so good in that I want Morton and Gilbert to actually give me something to talk about. Kind of a strange finish, as the special TV time limit expires with Gilbert in control, but Gilbert wants five more minutes to put Morton away. He gets it, and is promptly flash pinned by Morton, who seemingly wins the USWA belt, but Gilbert never said anything about the five more minutes being for the belt, so he retains via Dusty Finish. It does, however, lead to a fun post-match angle where Eddie Marlin grants Morton a title rematch with any stipulation he wants, and Morton decides his dad Paul will be the special guest ref for the match (Gilbert: "I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD!"). Shame the body the match itself wasn't as compelling.

Daisuke Sekimoto & Yuji Okabayashi vs. Ryota Hama & Manabu Soya (BJW 4/28/2011)
Requested by ダニエル

Well, if nothing else, you've got to hand it to Big Japan. They got a hold of the All-Asia Tag Titles, and they make it a really, really big deal here, even playing the national anthem before the match. It's something that could've rung false, but I totally accepted it here. It probably helps that they were working in front of a really great crowd. Crowd chants "Dai Nihon", and I'm wondering when they last time the interpromotional aspect of an interpromotional feud in Japan actually felt significant. The fact they got over that angle in 2011 is really impressive. Also, damn, is Hase looking old. I mean, I know he was a wrestler and everything, but still, he just turned 50 in May. He probably shouldn't be quite this decrepit.

So the match starts, and it's not long before Sekimoto and Soya are doing the standard chop/forearm exchange. Again. It pretty quickly starts to like like this is going to be second verse, same as first, just with a better atmosphere, and I hunker down and prepare for the worst. And then, something strange happens. Sekimoto and Soya grabs each other by the hair, and Soya manages to push Sekimoto in the corner. Neither man will break, and Kyohei Wada actually has to step in between them, and when he can't break them up on his own, Okabayashi comes in to pull his tag partner off of Soya. Then, when Kyohei is admonishing Sekimoto, Soya pushes him aside and bum rushes Sekimoto. The crowd boos Soya's heelishness as he stomps a mudhole in Sekimoto, and it starts to dawn on me that I may be watching an actual good wrestling match. And then Hama tags in for the first time, and the idea is completely and totally confirmed. First of all, since the last time I saw him, Hama seems to have started taking some stylistic cues from Vader, only with a bit less of an emphasis on stiffness and a bit more on fatness. Secondly, good lord, is Ryota Hama ever fat. I know that's not a revelatory statement or anything, but seriously, that is a fat, fat man. He is built like a Moai head. It's amazing. Third, he kinda looks facially like a giant baby, and he only has one facial expression that he maintains through the entire match, yet he somehow manages to express every emotion he needs to with that one expression. I don't know if it's just some Sergei Eisenstein shit where I'm seeing the same face in different situations and projecting emotions onto it based on context or if he's really just that skilled, but I'm totally digging it. Look at his test of strength with Sekimoto and thrill as the expression he uses to display smug pride as he's winning shows surprise and alarm just as effectively when he's losing. Fourth, good lord, is Ryota Hama ever fat. And he knows how to use it. There are a bunch of great spots built around the fact that he is made entirely of sausages. Standing on Sekimoto's chest (with Soya pushing down on top of him), the rolling senton, the Abdullah elbow drop, the Umaga charging ass into an opponent slumped in the corner. He also makes a great brick wall. I mean, he is not as athletic of a brick wall as Mark Henry, but he definitely has his own thing going for him. Henry is a ridiculously built dude, so charging into him seems like charging into an actual brick wall, whereas charging into Hama is more "NOTHING MOVES THE BLOB!". His Vader Attack isn't as dynamic looking as Henry's Vader Attack, but he can two steps toward a charging Okabayashi, and you buy that the momentum required to move him two steps forward is all he needs to bounce Okabayashi right off of him. Also on the Vader tip, his punches aren't quite as stiff as Vader's (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, anyway), but he's throwing hands in sort of a Vader-ish way, and they do look pretty good, and the Big Van Crush on Okabayashi definitely looked like it could've been a credible match ender.

So this ended up being pretty fun, but it's not just down to pork vacuum Hama. Structurally, this is a massive improvement over the 2/6 match. That was a generic post-2005 puro heavyweight match, which is a shitty match formula that I almost never enjoy. However, most of the first half of this match is worked as an 80's southern tag, and most of the second half as a 90's All Japan tag, which are two awesome formulas that I almost always enjoy. Sekimoto was surprisingly effective working slab-of-beef-in-peril, and while I've already gone over what Hama brings to the table, I do want to say that Soya was very good here as well. He didn't play heel as overtly as a lot of guys do when working as interpromotional invaders, but he gave a hard-hitting, spirited performance, and came across way more determined and hateful here than the bland guy trying to convey fighting spirit in the last match. When he starts doing strike exchanges again late in the match, there's actually some emotion behind it, as opposed to just two guys going through the motions. Okabayashi is also way better here than he was in the previous tag. Admittedly, that's not hard, but he was fun coming in off of the hot tag (I lost my shit when he tried to rack Hama), and he gets a heat segment of his own that's pretty good before it breaks down into the 90's All Japan extended finishing stretch. Key to those is that you have to actually build emotional investment in the match during it's body so that the audience is hanging off of every nearfall at the end, something a lot of current puro matches forget to do. To that end, using the southern tag formula in the body to set up the long finishing stretch was actually an ingenious move, and I'm surprised it's not something that's done more often. This is another match I didn't know the outcome of going in, so Hama's Big Van Crush, Okabayashi and Sekimoto's awesome back-to-back top rope splashes, and Sekimoto's discus lariat (and probably a few other things I'm forgetting) all had me thinking it was over before it actually was. When the Big Japan crew finally does put down the invaders, Hiroshi Hase comes in with their belts and helps Sekimoto back to his feet, and they all hug, and it's one last big match moment that this little match that could actually deserved.