RETRO CLASSIC! ROH TV Workrate Report: 2/28/11

So I noticed that I had written this show up as it happened, and then just left it saved as a draft, and never posted it. Until now! So now we'll go back in time, to a simpler time. Come with me now, remember February? Charlie Sheen wasn't talked about on every channel, a giant earthquake hadn't hit Japan, Knut (arguably the cutest bear in the history bears being cute) was still alive, and David Lynch hadn't been brutally shot to death.

OK, I was just informed that it was not David Lynch, director of Blue Velvet that was shot, but rather David Lynch, leader of the white supremacist American Front. So that's not so much a bad thing after all.

So in celebrating Black History Month, let's watch a bunch of matches featuring a bunch of white guys that look similar!

1. The Prodigy Mike Bennett vs. Adam Cole is up, and they start with some side headlock action! Cole eventually takes control with an atomic drop and some chops, and Bennett rolls to the floor for a breather. Cole does a rana off the apron, and I really like ranas where a guy jumps from the apron to an opponent standing on the floor. It just looks cool. Bennett takes over by booting Cole into the guard rail, and Cole looks great flinging himself recklessly into the rail. Bennett muscles Cole into the corner and works over his back. These guys seem to have a bunch of Edge-like offense that relies on a guy getting thrown up into the air like a flapjack. Like, you can't just do a DDT, a guy has to get flapjacked into a DDT. Can't just do an atomic drop, you have to throw a guy into the air and have him land crotch first on your knee. It looks silly. Edge and Cole's offense is basically pulling a guy down. Not doing a move to them, just kind of touching them and pulling them towards the mat. Cole with an enziguiri and crossbody for 2, and a nice bridging German for 2 more. Cole makes weird fighting spirit faces as the fans get behind him. He kinda looks like when your toes touch seaweed in a lake and it's kinda gross but kinda neat at the same time, leaving you confused. And then Bennett just kinda gets a sideslam out of nowhere. Huh. That was a weird one, as Cole had dominated the last 3 minutes, then really just got pinned out of nowhere. This...really wasn't much. I assume Bennett is the favorite to win the Top Prospect Tournament.

Corino is delightfully odd wearing a sweater and conservative shoes while giving advice to the prospects. "Just keep your head in the game, buddy!" I don't know where they're going with it, but it's quirky for now.

2. Michael Elgin vs. Bobby Dempsey. Yeaaaahhh!!! These two are probably the fattest two dudes in ROH, so I'm kinda excited for this one. Oh, YES! Dempsey has an awkward fat guy one-armed singlet! They collide a few times with painful shoulderblocks (like 10 of them!!) and then Elgin throws a nice back elbow, but Dempsey just runs into him with his fat!! But Elgin HEFTS him up for a big fat samoan drop and the ring shakes! Elgin goes for a powerbomb and Bobby backdrops out of it, throws a so-so clothesline, and THE STRAP IS DOWN! Dempsey hits a slam and goes up for a Vader Bomb or big fat moonsault, and Elgin catches him and hits a BIG sit out powerbomb and Bobby's belly shakes all violently and this is it. Too bad it only went 3 minutes, but pretty fun while it lasted.

Corino in again with his odd generic advice. "Follow your own path, you're doing great!"

Kenny King is very much the same as Shelton Benjamin, except he is better on the stick, and probably less expensive to book.

Corino interrupts Andy Ridge and Grizzly Redwood wearing a different sweater. "The future is yours! Seize your opportunity! Show the world what you got!" This has to lead to him just kicking the shit out of everybody somehow, right?

3. Andy Ridge vs. Grizzly Redwood and I have never seen Andy before. He's skinny and wears trash bag shorts and kick pads. I like Grizzly's backslide. He got some nice leverage on it. Ridge throws a kick, and Grizzly starts shopping his leg! Grizzly somehow leapfrogs Ridge and then trips him, sending Ridge to the floor. Grizzly goes for a tope and runs face first into a kick and it looks pretty great. Back in and Ridge just grabs a chinlock, and eventually Grizzly fights out into an abdominal stretch. More thigh slappy kicks from Ridge including a pretty nice running boot into the back of Redwood's head. Hogewood is amusing trying to put over the kicks by saying there are rumors that Ridge has a steel rod in his right leg. We go into some miscommunication and Ridge hits a mistimed superkick for the win. I had never seen an even-worked Redwood match, and it doesn't really work. I like Grizzly taking big beatings in tag matches, and maybe he has a good single in him, but Ridge was not the man to have it with. Some of his kicks looked good, others missed and made a big thigh slap sound. So he's essentially like every kicker you've seen, like ever.

We cut to a busty Asian gal, and Prince Nana is back!! So they're still using the Embassy name, still have Nana and Ernie Osiris....but aren't using Necro Butcher....why? Dear god why?

3. Main event is another fucking Christopher Daniels match, this one vs. Kenny King. I'm glad I'm getting to see so many 15 minute matches from 2011 Chris Daniels, as Prazak talks about Daniels being in his prime, and how everybody underrates his athleticism because he's instead known for his wrestling skill. I'm not sure I understand that. King hits a nice Japanese arm drag into a kip up, showing more and more how he is basically a slightly upgraded Shelton Benjamin. Daniels throws some decent elbows and sells a back elbow nicely. Daniels hits a goofy running neckbreaker and a nice back suplex, then a spinning neckbreaker, then locks on a pretty nasty cravate. It would appear he is focusing on the neck. Daniels with another neckbreaker, then a vertical suplex, and a real nice crossface. King makes a comeback with a bunch of running/jumping stuff, but misses a slo mo back elbow and Daniels hits the STO. We go into a punch exchange which -- believe it or not -- is probably the best part of the match so far as both guys pull perfectly capable right hands out of God knows where. Daniels gets a slam and then misses the BME, and it might just be me, but it seems like King has gone for about 8 sunset flips this match. Daniels hits the Angels Wings and that's it. Hogewood hears me openly and loudly weeping as he says "Christopher Daniels has waited his whole life to get that belt, and he does NOT want to give it up!"

Yeah. He ain't giving it up any time soon, and I will see him work every one of those TV time limit epics.