ROH TV Workrate Report: 3/7/11

I read that there are only like 4 or 5 more episodes of ROH on HD Net, so I will possibly need another weekly show to review. Thoughts, anybody? Superstars? CMLL on LATV? AAA? I am open to suggestions.

1. Michael Elgin vs. Kyle O'Reilly in a SEMI-FINAL bout of the TPT! This could be a fun one. Big biel by Elgin (Biel? Beal? Beele? What is correct?) O'Reilly ducks some Martini interference and throws a nice elbow, but then Elgin shoulderblocks him HUGE right out of the air off a springboard dropkick! YES! O'Reilly recovers and gets a rolling armbar, but Elgin powers up and hits a fallaway slam!! We go into a strike exchange and Elgin seems to be holding back a bit but leans way into a nice dropkick. O'Reilly does some tumbling exercises and then hits a nice kick combo, but it doesn't damage Elgin too much. They battle out on the apron, exchanging yakuza kicks, an then Kyle climbs to the 2nd rope (Elgin still on the apron) and ranas Elgin to the floor, and Elgin spills out spectacularly. Definitely worthy of the replay. Elgin staggers into the corner of the guardrail, and O'Reilly does a MASSIVE running dropkick off the apron and just PLANTING his feet into Elgin's stomach. Elgin was stuck in the corner and O'Reilly really just went crashing through him. That was fucking killer. This match is fucking awesome so far. Back in the ring and O'Reilly hits a big missle dropkick. Elgin up and throwing some big whiffing Leonard Garcia haymakers, but then catches Kyle with an exploder and a spinebuster. Elgin goes for a clothesline, but O'Reilly kicks his arm, so Elgin wheels around and uses the other arm to level him with a MASSIVE clothesline (O'Reilly ragdolled and flipped all over onto his dome and is making me fall in love with him). I thought that was 3 so I completely BUY THE NEARFALL!! Elgin lifts him for another slam and O'Reilly reverses into a tornado DDT and Elgin PLANTS his head directly into the mat. Using the available keys on my keyboard, he took that DDT at a nasty 45 degree angle, like this --> /. He's the forward slash there. I BUY THE NEARFALL AGAIN and this match is all movezy and I'm loving it! Now Elgin is bringing the stiff elbows and back elbows and hits a NASTY cradle suplex on O'Reilly, just right on the head. Good lord. I BUY THE NEARFALL again and Elgin is just as shocked as I am. Elgin goes for a powebomb to end it all, but O'Reilly deadweights him and drags him down into a triangle, and is giving him 12-6 elbows in the triangle. Elgin powers back to his feet, but O'Reilly reverses into a sunset flip for the 3!

I completely thought Elgin was going to win this and face Bennett, but I don't care because that match was fun as FUCK. I know there's a weird rumor that Segunda Caida hates movez matches, but that ain't true at all, they just have to be done RIGHT and this one had that in spades. This built well and had plenty of believable nearfalls, but they never seemed overkill or ridiculous. When O'Reilly would kick out, he would BARELY get out before the 3, and there was no "sell like death but then get up and rope run a bunch". Both guys were on spaghetti legs and this was paced really, really well. Wonderful 8 minutes here, and easily my favorite ROH TV match since Necro stopped appearing. Fun fun stuff, you should go out of your way to see it.

I WAS eating a whole bunch of really delicious and sweet raspberries while watching that match, but I don't think it affected my outlook in any way. If you watch the Elgin/O'Reilly match and think it stinks, then it's probably because there was a raspberry party in my mouth and they can make anything fun. Go get yourself some Driscoll's organic raspberries. They're in season.

2. The other semi-final in the TPT, Mike Bennett vs. Andy Ridge. I did not like Andy Ridge before, but I give people 2nd chances. Right Leg Ridge is a pretty decent nickname. Nice shoulderblock to start by Bennett. Corino tells the camera that Bennett is really good at the basics. Some kicks by Ridge get two, and Bennett bails as Ridge misses a superkick. I loved the Chris Adams/Great Kabuki superkick match on the 80s Texas Set. ROH should bring in Nate Webb to work a superkick match. Or shit, just bring in Nate Webb. Back in and Bennett takes like 9 more kicks and is making really great faces while being kicked. Nice running dropkick to Bennett in the corner. Hogewood: "If I have one criticism of Ridge, he uses that right kick a lot." You dance with who brung you, Mike. Bennett finally scouts a right kick (after taking about 17 of them and nothing else) and transitions to control. Both guys throw decent elbows (Bennett's is really nice) and Ridge hits a nice running knee. Bennett blocks a superkick, goes for a piledriver, but Ridge gets a roll up for 2. Bennett dodges a superkick and hits his sit-out uranage slam for the win.

OK. That's two weeks in a row where Bennett's opponent took 90% of the match, and then Bennett just won out of nowhere with a sit-out slam that looks far less devastating than most ROH workers transition offense. It's like in ECW where Shane Douglas would use chairshots and weapons and then win with a belly to belly. In this match I only remember Bennett hitting a couple elbows and a vertical suplex. Ridge took 7 of the 8 minutes, then just got pinned. I was enjoying Bennett, but if this is going to be his regular match formula then his matches are going to get beyond old.

Tony Kozina is back on TV! I've always liked Kozina. Buuuuuuuutttttt, he's back on TV with Davey Richards. Davey does an actual decent interview, because he's not trying to cut one of his shitty promos, just kinda being interviewed by Cornette and casual definitely works better for him. Cornette tongues Davey's asshole and it makes all of us uncomfortable. Just blowing Davey and talking about his MMA and Pancrase abilities, as it shows him holding a surfboard on an opponent. I miss all those classic Bas vs. Frank Shamrock inverted surfboard battles. Apparently Kozina vs. Davey is next week, and I'll be honest....I'm kinda interested in seeing it. This segment was actually really well done, presenting Kozina and Davey as two guys who like each other, but who will also do whatever it takes to win their match. I hope Kozina just hammers him in the balls the whole match. It won't happen, but nevertheless I am kinda excited to see the match. I'm a sucker.

3. Main event is a 4 way which SHOULD be decent. Roderick Strong vs. Homicide vs. Generico vs. Jay Briscoe. The tasty juicy raspberries have put me in a super optimistic mood. Roddy does some amusing stalling to start. Jay looks far more menacing than Homicide, for the record. Generico hasn't been on TV for awhile. He and Jay kinda do-si-do with some wristlocks for awhile. They're really pacing this one to go long. Jay hits a great headscissors on a running Roderick. Generico and Homicide trade some arm drags...like for a minute. 5 minutes in and this thing feels like it's been on forever. The cameras can't cut quickly enough during Generico's punches. Must...eat more raspberries. Strong also decides to challenge the director by throwing many bad punches in a short amount of time. Where will the cameras cut to!? Homicide somehow throws even worse punches (what the FUCK happened to Homicide in the last year!?). His corner punches make Kofi Kingston snicker. Generico runs and and Homicide snaps out of it and punches him right in the face. FINALLY. Roddy is lying on the apron selling insane damage, but I seriously don't even remember him taking much offense. Briscoe bumps big into the corner off a suplex. Generico throws two of the lightest lariats I have seen. Good lord what is happening in this match. I swear I am not trying to be negative here. These guys are just moving in slow motion and trying not to break eggs here. Generico leans out of a superkick from Jay, then Jay gets tossed to the floor onto Homicide and Strong. Generico does a flip dive and manages to miss almost everybody. Not his fault. Bad catching job. Homicide was asleep at the wheel on that one. Homicide ranas Strong off the top. Generico slaps his thigh and Jay kindly decides to sell it. All 4 men are down selling the WAR they're in. J-Driller on Homicide. Generico brainbuster on Jay. Strong tags in and gets the pin.

Wow. That match was fucking horrible. In order of best to worst, I'd go Jay Briscoe, Roderick Strong, Homicide, Generico. Most of this match was just hot garbage. Everybody seemed just...off. Generico is fucking awful. His offense looks crummy and he always just seems out of position for things. Homicide had the Necro Butcher match a few months ago and literally everything else he's been involved with has been disappointing and bad. Strong looked good in moments, then lousy in others. Jay was consistently quality here.

But what a fucking disaster. It got 18+ minutes of time, and almost all 18 of it was one giant disjointed mess. It had minimal build throughout, bad execution, goofy selling...just crap.

It's for the best. When you're a kid, and your best friend is moving away, sometimes a few weeks before the move you might start arguing. Your friendship might dissolve over something silly. Subconsciously, you just don't want them to go, and you're trying to ease that pain by tricking yourself into hating that friend. "I don't care if he moves, he's being stupid anyway." It happens all throughout life. You get through tough breakups that way. If you miss the person, you find things you hate about them, you linger on those things. If you only lingered on the good things about some girl, you'll never get over her. It's torture. But it's how life works. People move on. Relationships end. You might not always want them to, but love is a two way street. If someone is further along then you, you just have to get over it at some point. There are other fish in the sea. Sometimes you don't realize how bad things had gotten until afterwards. It's easier to reflect. You realize you were disagreeing more, you used to be more attracted to her (and let's face it, your pants are fitting tighter too, buddy). She read Eat, Pray, Love and really identified with it. She really, really identified with the main character. She identified with an over-privileged white woman who whines a whole lot. Wow. How did you not see this sooner? She saw Sex & the City 2 in theaters? She sometimes uses the word "psychobabble" in regular sentences. Who the fuck is this person? There used to be things I loved about her, right? Have I changed? Has she changed? Have we both changed? Who am I?!

ROH has been doing a good job to make me not miss it. Everything I used to love about it is gone. I used to look forward to it, and we still have our moments. It's bittersweet. You see glimpses of why you used to love it, and it makes you miss the days that those moments happened constantly. It only magnifies how rare those moments now are.

People grow apart. People fall out of love. Not everything is supposed to last forever. You enjoy it while it's enjoyable, and you know when to cut and run. Nobody knows the right time to cut and run. You just ride every last enjoyable moment to the end and hope you aren't left too scarred afterwards.

You will love again.