ROH TV Workrate Report: 1/24/11

ROH HDNet Death Throes Tour continues!

We start with recap of the Jim Cornette vs. Homicide feud from 2006, which only kinda made me wish that ROH had TV in 2006 as everything they showed pretty much looked better than the stuff I've been reviewing. As we go to a sit down interview with Adam Cole and Kyle O'Reilly where they blandly talk about how they're going to wrestle other teams in ROH. BUT the interview with the Bravado Brothers was GREAT as they talk about what it honor it was to face Haas and Benjamin ("I mean after all, they're the World's Greatest Tag Team from 8 years ago!") and talking about how their grandma builds up their confidence while she makes them breakfast. Then they had a great Sears portrait studio portrait of them looking off to the left inset in a needlepoint like on Family Feud. Yes. That promo photo is infinitely better than the growling sneering pointing grimacing Davey Richards one.

1. Bravados vs. Cole/O'Reilly starts us off with a nice shoulderblock from Lance and then a rolling and tumbling sequence and then the others tag in and O'Reilly locks on an armbar!! Lock it on! SHOOT ON HIM! Harlem Bravado has such a nice smile that it's always rewarding to see him do offense, as he always gives a nice grin. Adam Cole is your future Hall of Fame WON Rookie of the Year, like Steve Austin and KAI and Rey Mysterio and Sean O'Haire and Dustin Rhodes and Petey Williams. But Lance Bravado throws nicer elbows and throw some decent shoulders in the corner. Cole looks like Ziggy Sobotka and the faces he makes as he's struggling to make a hot tag are amongst the worst you'll see. O'Reilly's rolling float-over butterfly suplexes look pretty cool but look like he's a minor slip away from braining himself at an awkward and uncomfortable angle some day. Kyle hits a nice clothesline and the camera missed what could have been a nasty bump off the top and the Bravados get a roll up to END the winning streak of Cole/O'Reilly! Bravados are goofy but they do it well, and they're more entertaining to watch than Cole and O'Reilly's thigh slappy intensity.

MsChif does a really growly promo where it sounds like she's talking in a "wrestler voice" and it's really bad and makes me hope my girlfriend doesn't walk into the room.

Homicide and Cornette have a really lame confrontation where Homicide's accent comes and goes like a half-Hispanic traffic reporter. Cornette puts differences aside and Homicide spends the whole time answering questions that nobody asked and responding to things Cornette didn't say. He wants to be champion and man he was uninteresting here.

2. Homicide vs. O'ryan Bishop. Man that name. Maybe it's O. Ryan Bishop like M. Emmett Walsh...but probably not. Bishop is a heavyish weight and wears a singlet and kickpads. He looks uninteresting but runs out of the corner with a nice clothesline. Homicide proceeds to bite him and gouge his nostrils and throw a couple nice uppercut rights that I don't remember Homicide ever throwing. Ace Crusher finish looks silly against an opponent that much larger than him and we're out.

I am jacked for another week of Benjamin/Haas promos. Shelton is in trouble since Haas sounded more compelling than him on the stick. Titus and King cut a promo and Titus is just awful. His eyes were wandering all over the room as he cut his rehearsed promo, down to the ground, off to the peripheral, hardly ever looking at the camera. Just eyes lazily darting around the room, looking like an autistic Edge, saying "We're hungry athletes. We're going to bring our knife. And our fork. And we are going to devour our opponents." You think that looks stupid written out? Fucker, you shoulda been there!

Oh rad and we get a Christopher Daniels promo, too!! Even though he may be old, he's in the best shape of his life and he's doing this! Then he starts comparing himself to Randy Couture ("Look at the high level he competes at his age!") and then oddly compares himself to Cal Ripken Jr., which is an odd comparison since Ripken was out of baseball by the time he was Daniels' age and didn't put up a season over 3 WAR past his 36th birthday, and Daniels is 40 by now. Just because Ripken lost a lot of his defensive range at 36 doesn't mean he spent his whole career overshooting his finisher, Chris.

Oh and Eddie Edwards does a promo saying he is "on the hunt" and Mike Bennett interrupts and makes fun of him for always pretending he's a wolf and I now love Mike Bennett.

3. Main event is Haas/Benjamin vs. Rhett Titus/Kenny King. King and Benjamin are basically the same guy right here. I wonder if they've ever worked each other before...We spend a few minutes working some headlock and wristlock sequences, and King does a real odd Stepin Fetchit high-steppin' knees taunt whenever he works out of something. Titus tags in and goes into control with various moves in between hair whips. They both go to work on Benjamin's arm for the next 8 minutes. Oh, brother, as Prazak says, "Haas and Benjamin left the Entertainment business because they wanted to get in the Wrestling business." I love how Benjamin was in the WWE for EIGHT YEARS, and the whole time you always heard assorted internet mumblings of "Man, once he leaves WWE and there's no glass ceiling, he's going to be having constant **** classics." and then he comes to ROH and all the restholds people complained about him doing in WWE have now just tripled because he has to fill 15 minute matches. He still does the exact same highspots, the matches are just longer. I'd love to hear him state what exactly he is able to do differently now that WWE isn't holding him back. Haas comes in with some nice hot tag offense and King hits the wimpiest springboard clothesline you've seen since babyface C.M. Punk. Shelton's leapfrog double axe handle is very unimpressive, but that combined with a German get the win. Huh.

So if you're into Shelton getting his arm worked over for awhile, but know in your heart that none of this arm work is going to affect his offense, this might have been up your alley. Haas looked clearly like the worker of the team here. Whatever that means.