Yeah, It's Where We Are, Gulak

Drew Gulak vs. Danny Garcia 205 Live 7/17/18 - FUN

ER: Garcia has been the talk of the town lately, had a big week of matches that peaked with him working his way into the main event of AEW Dynamite. He's only 22, and yet he somehow had a televised WWE match when he was just 19. There aren't many teenagers who can say they've wrestled a match for WWE, though I can think of at least a few offhand (the Hardys, Paige, Ken Doane, maybe Waltman?). This puts Garcia into some rare company. The Hardys started as regular TV jobbers and 3 years later they were superstars. Well, it's 3 years later and Garcia's star has never been brighter, and I'm positive he's never done a quicker or more vicious job than the one he did here. You see, the match is 30 seconds long, and an absolute massacre. This beating felt like it was one bad inch away from being a new Marty Jannetty/Chuck Austin incident. It's a match made up of three moves. First, Gulak flew into Garcia with one of the hardest clotheslines I've ever seen Gulak hit. Second, Gulak threw Garcia with a backdrop driver that felt like something Masa Saito would have thrown to "toughen up/accidentally murder" Dojo trainees. Third, Gulak dragged Garcia by the back of the head and sunk in a deadly looking Gulock. Garcia got a 30 second tryout with WWE, got nuked like few jobbers have ever been nuked, and it only made him want this more. Hard not to like that. 

PAS: I kind of expected this to be what Garcia vs. Moxley was going to be, and while Garcia got a ton more offense in that match, Moxley did hit versions of all three of these moves in his Garcia match. Gulak wins all three: his clothesline was up there with the nastiest clotheslines in WWE history, that backdrop driver was spine compressing, and the choke was sick, with Garcia's knees bent all weird. Garcia has so much offense these days, I never really think of him as a crazy bumper, but he was Pablo Marquez level here. 

Drew Gulak vs. Angel Garza WWE Raw 5/17/21 - FUN

ER: Well this probably puts the nail in the coffin of Gulak's time on Raw for now, as they have established that Garza is clearly his better. This is the third Raw match they've had, and each one went about 2 minutes, and ended with a decisive Garza victory. Drew Gulak is great at working guys like Garza, so I get why they'd want him opposite, making Garza's offense look as good as it can. Gulak begins things by jumping Garza and gets an early advantage, strongly enough that I just sort of assumed that surely Gulak wasn't going to lose 3 straight Raw matches to the same guy! Well, before long it became the Garza show, and it's a fun show to watch right now. Gulak leans into his kicks and has a fun bump off a reverse slingshot suplex, opting to land on his feet and whip back instead of take it on his stomach. It left him in perfect position for a seated dropkick from Garza, and it's one of those things that Gulak does sometimes that don't look like anyone else. I've said it twice before, but it's silly giving these two only 2 minutes, as they could do something really cool with just 4, but here we are. 

Drew Gulak vs. Mansoor WWE Raw 6/7/21 - FUN

ER: I'm starting to think that Gulak might not be the guy to put a stop to Mansoor's incredible winning ways. Gulak does, however, continue his trend of unique and cruelly short Raw matches. I don't know what kind of accomplishment it is to be known as the guy having the coolest 2 minute Raw matches, as I'd rather see him be the guy having the coolest 8-10 minute matches on whatever smaller show, but we take what we get. Gulak loses 90% of his matches and I'm the guy who still manages to get hooked into possible Gulak wins, and I don't think it's because I'm 90% doofus, but because of Gulak actually making each little moment of his 150 seconds matter. There is an art to the Short Match, of making your precious few moments matter, and Gulak starts by working a cool half crab, bending at Mansoor's leg while driving his bootheel into Mansoor's back. There's a cool battle over a roll up, and I loved Gulak grabbing a big handful of tights. That handful of tights was what convinced me Gulak was taking it. Sure, it helped that the tights grab happened around the 2 minute mark, and I knew from experience that Gulak is allowed no more than 3 minutes in a Raw ring or else suddenly we wind up with dozens of Gulaks everywhere, and half of them turn out to be child molesters. Alas, Mansoor reverses a reversal of a roll up reversal and I will see Gulak on Main Event next week, where he may win. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE DREW GULAK