Cactus Jack is Who In Her Lonely Slip, Who By Barbiturate

Cactus Jack/Mr. Hughes/Big Van Vader vs. Steiner Brothers/Sting WCW Main Event 2/9/92 - EPIC  

PAS: What a murderers row in this six-man match. This was a super early Sting and Vader interaction and while it was brief, you could see the the magic that might be there. But the best match up was actually Sting versus Mr. Hughes. Hughes was clearly super underrated, he moves at a really shocking speed here, and goes over huge for slams and dropkicks. He was a college football standout, and moves like an elite athlete. He and Sting have a rope running exchange which looks like a pair of middleweight luchadores, not super heavyweight American wrestlers. It always fun to watch the Steiners throw folks, and they toss all three heels. Cactus was pretty minor in this match, he gets manhandled by Scott a bit and throws some of his fast forearms, but this was mostly a battle between the superhero faces and their giant opponents, and it was a blast. 

ER: Look at the heel team! Look at that face team! How do you pick a least favorite with a match like this? This was a match with no bad pairings, and a ton of noteworthy ones. Rick came off like the more electric Steiner here, really taking it to Vader and going even harder at Cactus. Cactus mainly got thrown on a heavy ass belly to belly by Scott or got Rick jumping on him from the apron, but Vader wasn't playing that. Vader came in throwing full arm lariats and dropped Rick straight down with a back suplex when Steiner tried to get a headlock. They build nicely to a big Vader/Sting showdown, but seeing Vader level Rick and Rick come right back was just as cool. Mr. Hughes is an insanely fast monster, a guy who should have been a new generation One Man Gang or a Japan superstar but we have such little footage. He takes an insane backdrop and works so fast for a guy his size while landing with such a wallop, it's easy to picture him as Vader in WCW. 

Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie/Steve Austin/Undertaker vs. The Rock/Faarooq/D-Lo Brown/Kama Mustafa WWE 12/29/97 - GREAT

ER: My god this ruled. This was Terry Funk's return match to WWF, a post-Raw dark match I didn't realize was online, a fantastic house show style main that you know absolutely slayed everything else on the show. Funk is in his Chainsaw Charlie "gear" (what the hell was that about again?) but a few smart fans start up "Terry" chants whenever he's in. This is really the only interaction we got between Funk and The Rock, and it's a real trip seeing Funk stiff him up with hard right jabs and a big left. Funk also takes a fast bump over the top for Faarooq, all while wearing weird old man jeans, dusty red shirt and stockings over his face. Honestly his Chainsaw Charlie gear is probably the most "Alabama abandoned strip mall indy show attended by 13 people" look that ever made it onto WWF television. 

Austin works like an absolute fiend when he's in, and it's always shocking to me when WWF Austin works super fast. Here he's the quickest guy in the match (although admittedly there aren't tons of known speedsters here) and he absolutely crushes Rock with a falling elbow at one point, all while wearing his impossibly tight jorts. Rock was really great on the apron, honestly he could have stayed there the whole match and it would have been wonderful (even though his stuff in the ring was standout). At one point Kama interferes from the apron with a kick, and falls awkwardly into the ring over the top rope, trying desperately to slide back onto the apron as if nobody would notice the dude just literally fell into the ring. Rock looks over at him and gives him a thumbs up. I died, then watched it a few times. The finish is rushed, Undertaker only gets in right at the end and hits a chokeslam so weak that it was like he was practicing how he was going to chokeslam Mae Young, but damn was this whole thing still a blast.

PAS: Cool showcase for Funk, Austin and Rock stooging. I agree with Eric both on the speed and explosion in which Austin worked and the weird tightness of his Jorts. I mean he was wearing sexy lady showing off her ass at the club level tight Jeans shorts, I am not sure how he even walked, much less wrestled at that pace. Funk is on one here with crazy punches, big bump over the top, homeless schizophrenic wrestling gear. Rock is really entertaining working as an almost Jim Cornette level stooge, isn't a role I have seen him in a ton but he is a great clowning heel. He should be the villain in the Home Alone remake.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CACTUS JACK