Segunda Caida

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Monday, January 27, 2020

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 19: Savagery

TL: Gonna do a little something different while reviewing this: Watching the whole episode while my overly loud dishwasher is running in the background. When you live in a 450 sq. ft. granny unit, sometimes things like this are unavoidable, but also, I much prefer the constant whirr of the dishwasher to at least 95% of the dialogue on this show. And my point is immediately made by the opening segment featuring Cueto and Strong. Another time where AEW not letting Jake talk is a good thing; then again, seeing a known racist have to react positively to a perceived ancient piece of Mexican history is high comedy, as is his idea of manifest destiny with saying the phrase, "This isn't your temple. It's mine!" as he leaves. What a segment. Dishwasher, don't fail me now.


Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Hernandez vs. Big Bad Steve vs. King Cuerno vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: Oh damn we get a battle royal in LU, AND the long overdue return of Big Bad Steve!? Okay Big Bad Steve got eliminated as I was typing that first sentence and I hate this now. This was a pretty bad battle royal. It goes only a few minutes, Steve and Hernandez get eliminated super early the exact same way, people keep showboating on the apron, Dante Fox returns after a year and gets a couple of slippery escapes, whatever. The show is named after Jake Strong, he mush mouthed his way through the opening video with Cueto, we knew who was winning, but that doesn't mean they had to go out and do a battle royal that took as much time as the entrances. Lame.

TL: BIG BAD STEVE BACK IN THE GODDAMN BUILDING. And I'm happy to see Dante back, too, as him going balls to the damn wall with Killshot was worth a return. It's a battle royal, which should make Eric happy. (Arrested Development Narrator: "It didn't.") He likes to do a yearly get together where we blind pick battle royals based on the participants. The last one we did, he chose the Slamboree '98 Cruiserweight Battle Royal to start and I ran away with the entire evening on points, blowing away the field. Can't believe he has me back for it, to be honest. In less than a minute, Big Bad Steve gets to show off why he's a goddamn base god for Aerostar and then throws a fantastic right hand only to get eliminated first. About right. This is obviously a vehicle to get Strong right into the main event. Sad that it has to come at the expense of guys like Fox, who showed out to such an amazing extent that him getting treated like an afterthought here is incredibly puzzling and incredibly sad. And then they make the battle royal pointless by just having a 7-way match for the belt next week. And it sets up a Mundo match later that night? Okay. I know I'm just getting over food poisoning but I still don't get what just happened. On the bright side, guaranteed more Big Bad Steve, baby!!! Dishwasher update: A low rumble, but still loud enough to drown out Striker. A good start.

Killshot vs. The Mack

ER: This was more angle than match, using a first time pairing that could have potentially been interesting, to instead set up an uninspiring Mil Muertes run in. The spear Muertes hits on Mack is arguably the weakest I've seen from him. The match didn't really have time to go anywhere interesting.

TL: This had a couple neat things going for it and then they ended it for the angle, which in itself seemed pointless, especially given how well Mack came off in browbeating Muertes before. This was very much in the vein of those old Attitude-era TV segments where a 2-3 minute match gets thrown away for an angle that didn't need to be expanded upon. Dishwasher update: A couple of louder whirrs every now and then, really digging in deep to get that good clean.

ER: I've gotten so into Sammy Guevara crushing it while playing the lowest man on the totem pole in The Inner Circle that it's now weird to see him as the plucky babyface joining XO and Ivelisse. The trios match should still be good.

TL: The Sammy reveal was fun as he's been one of the only people I've enjoyed since AEW has started up, but holy crap, the inside jokes about Famous B's 7-year contract for an LU talent write themselves. That's the only thing I enjoyed about this. This whole show has been just nothing but promos, really. Dishwasher update: Cleaner than Famous B after that trash can shot.

Jake Strong vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: This is that kind of 2011 pro wrestling vibe that I have absolutely no interest in revisiting, baby! There were some things I liked here, big individual moments, but I don't think it added up to a very good match. Mundo takes some big bumps, including this awful moment where he hit a kick from the apron and managed to fall on the buckles, apron, ring steps, and floor, winding up with his legs over his head. But seconds later he was totally fine. Mundo is such an athletic bumper that he often winds up making bumps absolutely meaningless in a Petey Williams kind of way. And this was certainly a match where no move mattered. Both guys took control at will, no matter what they had just taken. Strong took over after taking a sitout powerbomb on the floor, Mundo took back over after taking a big lariat to the back of the head, both guys just kept popping up whenever necessary. And by the time we get to ankle lock reversals I am praying for death's sweet release. Matanza runs out at the end, there's an obvious blood packet to really plant the flag in this shit sundae, and I am happy it's over.

TL: Johnny just got to walk out in front of 40k+ and work a minute in the Rumble for a big payday and you have to be happy for him to be able to go from a promotion on its last legs (and the husk of Impact!) to being an upper-midcarder for the world's biggest promotion at the drop of a hat. I kept waiting for something to jump out in this match given they know each other pretty well but nothing really made an impact for me outside of Johnny's nuts bumps to the outside. And then they start brawling into the crowd and the sweet, slow, rhythmic churn of my dishwasher soothes me as Morrison decides to turn a wrestling match into a literal parkour demonstration. There was no rhyme or reason to this match. A guy like Strong who has been put over like a world-beater didn't get to look like one here; 50/50 booking is such shit. If a guy is a world-beater, make him one. Have him show a weakness every now and then, but now he's just trading spots with a guy who, while presented as a top guy, is working this like any other match. Just mind boggling to me. It's amazing to me that I'm about to type this but here it is: The Nunchucks Match from earlier this season blows this match out of the water. Strong leaned into everything Mundo threw, so there's that, I guess. This is very much in the Adam Cole/Michael Elgin ROH Title mold and folks, that match style ain't it. It's wild they worked a 15 minute match that led to that ending considering how Strong has been booked but hey, what do I know? Matanza comes out, busts Johnny open, takes Taya on a tour of (Jake Strong's) temple, and then wails away on Mundo as if he was Ralphie finally giving Scott Farkus what for. And as the dishwasher starts to drain out the dirty water for the rinse cycle and steam starts to form, the sweet release of this show finally happens. 45 minutes of my life gone, never to be gotten back, but transcribed in all its hellish nature for you, the reader of this website.


ER: They went from the best episode of the season, to (I think) pretty easily the worst. The wrestling was not good, the angles were not interesting, and this whole thing felt like the ultimate wheel spinner of an episode. This was not the go home show to Ultima Lucha, but it made me much less interested in Ultima Lucha.

TL: Three. More. Episodes.



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