Found Footage Friday: Universal Pro Wrestling 1992~!

Bulldog KT (Gedo)/Pat Tanaka/Villano IV vs. Coolie SZ (Jado)/Lightning Kid/Jerry Lynn Universal Pro 8/18/92

MD: It's important you know that Lynn and co. come out to Don't Cry by Asia. Also that Pat Tanaka is a huge jerk in this match and I'm all for it. They did a lot in 20+ minutes over three falls. It was fun to see Villano work with Lynn (bounding fast exchanges) and Kid (hitting him really, really hard and then taking all of Waltman's karate bs). The heels worked together well, lots of setting a babyface up for a double team or single shot. There were some nice pushes by Tanaka, on a suplex to give it extra oomph and then to set up the finish by basically shoving a victory rolling Lynn and Villano out of the ring. Gedo and Jado generally worked together but their stuff looked practiced, solid, and usually pretty mean. After coming back from a relatively long, cycled beatdown, Lynn broke up a hold on Kid and they hit a tandem missile dropkick/Northern Lights. Second fall had some funnier stuff from Lynn as he tossed Tanaka into the corner and Tanaka twisted twice on the way and then got down on his hands and knees and dog barked Gedo out of the ring. But it came back together for the fireworks down the stretch. 

ER: I was pretty blown away by this, a frenetically based long three falls match where every guy is working fast and hitting harder. Everyone had standout moments, with Jerry Lynn being the guy who blew me away the most. Lynn looked ready to work any promotion in the world, breezing into Japan and working smoking hot dodging and tumbling sequences with Villano IV, throwing perfect snug execution on everything he attempted. His offense makes extravagant bumps look necessary. When he hits a dropkick to Villano IV, it makes sense that it sends him flying out of the ring; when he blasts Pat Tanaka with a clothesline, he swings it so hard that it makes Tanaka's inside out flip bump seem like the natural way to get eaten by that clothesline. Everything Lynn did was crisp, established the pacing of the match, and followed through to logical match building conclusions. When I say I was blown away, I mean it. Jerry Lynn is a guy who I view as a known quantity. We've all seen many JL matches, we all know he's talented, the industry respects him, he's worked everywhere, etc. But seeing Lynn here is like seeing him for the first time, seeing things he was capable of that never defined his style. Lynn really could do it all...but I don't know how often I've seen him doing It better than he does here. 

The thing is, everyone kind of comes off that way. Jado and Gedo as beefed up Mr. Perfect Singlet Boys is the most interesting version of them in the 90s. I love the wave of T&C Surf Designs inspired Japanese indy wrestlers of the late 80s/early 90s, from the surf punks surrounding the ring in the most violent late 80s FMW Different Style bouts, to these two beefy Malibu boys in their mullets and surf suits. It's unfathomable to me that 1992 Jado and Gedo had great clotheslines, but video doesn't lie. Jado throws a top rope clothesline as hard as Ikeda ever threw, and that's arguably the toughest clothesline to throw well. Gedo blows up Jado with a clothesline that would get Tenryu's attention, and it's a wildly more interesting version of themselves than all their bad juniors wrestling the rest of the decade. 

If Pat Tanaka was a real jerk - he was! - then Villano IV might have been an outright sadist. This man was in his late 20s and a physical danger. If I praised Lynn's execution, then V4 deserves the same praise. Everything he does has such force behind it. He has these cool kneedrops, where he starts from a kneeling position and drives a knee into his opponent's temple, and I'm not sure I've ever seen legdrops thrown with more force. I didn't think you could get such impact from a standing legdrop, but Villano made them look like real finishers. 

But the thing that really stood out in a match filled with standouts, was Villano IV and Lightning Kid starting off the third fall with a literal shoot fight on the floor. I couldn't tell why it escalated, but they clearly start throwing increasingly harder and harder shots during a routine sequence. I don't know the exact moment it turned unprofessional, but Villano knocked Kid to the floor and Kid came up throwing elbows meant to crack jaws, and Villano recognized the intent behind those elbows immediately and landed five straight punches to Kid's face and head. This all happened within 15 seconds, where a hard Villano club to the back turned into a Kid shoot elbow, and suddenly Kid was fleeing while wisely shielding his face as Villano finds every uncovered part and lands every punch he throws. No idea what happened, but there's no mistaking those punches for worked, and whatever might have happened didn't affect Kid's big comeback in the tercera, which played as great retribution. Villano IV stood in for spin kicks and cooperated to make it look like a strong comeback, taking all of his kicks and making the decision to not punch him directly in the face, again. 

Gran Hamada/Panterita del Ring vs. Shu el Guerrero/Scorpio Jr. Universal Pro 8/18/92

MD: Shu and Scorpio come out to Simply Irresistible. Good for them. Anyway, I struggle a little with matches like this. There's just not a ton to say. There were 12+ minutes of bits/spots to start, and they were good! A lot of them were really good. But do I just list them? There wasn't a lot of rhyme or reason to them. There was a little bit of progression with early matwork, but after that, it was off into bit-land. Yes, Shu based well. Yes, Scorpio had some moments of stooging, including a great one where Pandrita was able to roll through on something, drive him out, and force him to walk down the ramp hands up in retreat so there was no dive. There was a great bit where Shu swiped away a Panterita dropkick and slapped his chest repeatedly only to end up in the corner for a knee driving headscissors takeover. Hamada in general looked like a million bucks. Then they had a few minutes of beatdown which was, again good (really liked a catapult where Shu choked Hamada down onto Scorpio's knees), and a comeback with a strike exchange and some big dives, before Shu scored a clutch powerbomb and a pretty swank tied up pin. Definitely good action. A lot of character and personality. Super entertaining. I'm sure DEAN would have been able to write the hell out of this. But all I can do is bear witness.

Kendo/Great Sasuke vs. Rocky Santana/Super Delfin Universal Pro 8/18/92

MD: This was the main event, 2/3 falls. By the way, the first match on the show, that we don't have, is Black Magic vs Rey Bucanero. Though it's 92 Bucanero so he was like 12. Ah well. Kendo comes out with a soccer type shirt with himself on it. The fans are immediately behind him.

The initial Kendo vs. Santana and Sasuke vs. Delfin exchanges (two times) are a lot of fun. Nice tricked out back and forth with Kendo and Santana where they both hit the mat hard and Sasuke being insanely flexible against Delfin. Some nice comedic bits in there as well, like Santana getting skidded out and Kendo sliding out to invite him back in and Santana faceplanting a few times. It's mostly friendly though Delfin takes (and misses) a swipe at one point. The fall ends with the pairings getting switched up and Sasuke flying off the top on both Santana and Delfin leading to a funny bit where they toss Kendo off and Sasuke tosses him back on until he finally sits on all of them for the pin.

Second fall switches the pairings for real, with Delfin falling for all of Kendo's tricks and Santana feeding for Sasuke. The rudos take over though and run a beatdown on one than the other than the first again. They tease a comeback but Delfin gets a tornado DDT and locks up Kendo for the pin. After that, Kendo gets rolled out of the ring hurt, and I thought this was going to turn into a different sort of match. It lets the de facto rudos control for a bit but Kendo just comes back in pissed a few minutes later and he gets into the most ridiculous kneeling strike exchange with Santana that I've ever seen. They whack each other, then fall over backwards then get counted and pop back up and do it some more. It goes on for quite a while and it is a crowd pleaser. After that, they pop right into dives with Sasuke knocking everyone out with the Space Flying Tiger Drop to get the countout win. Definitely fun. Might have been interesting to see it take a more grisly turn but that's not what they were doing here. 

ER: I love these proto-MPro matches where you can see the style almost fully gestated, the lightheartedness with the stiffness, the innovative movement with the strong lucha inspiration. I love Rocky Santana within this world. He understood the kind of regional lucha comedy that would crossover well to Japanese Indies, while also working stiff enough to capture the attention of the rest of the crowd. They laughed when Santana charged into the ring and tripped on the bottom rope, face planting into the ring and crying to the ref for support. When he did the exact same thing in the second fall, they ate it up, fully understanding his vibe. He bases as well as Hamada and moves the same, but he'll also break down and start punching people. The whole match building to a long stretch where Kendo and Santana kneel in front of each other and do several minutes of stiff punches, comedy punches, and exhausted punches, is brilliant. We've all seen enough "two men throwing strikes with no defense" at this point, but it's crazy how many innovative versions of that exist on small lucha shows and Japanese Indies. This exchange starts normal...until the strikes start becoming unexpected, sometimes silly, sometimes mean, thrown in a totally unpredictable rhythm. It looked like Kendo and Santana were playing some kind of memory game that nobody else knew the rules to, and this memory game involved being punched in the jaw, ear, and neck. I've never seen an exchange like it, one that had multiple goals and just kept going until everyone in the building was on board. That's wrestling, baby. 

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Until There's a Kurisu...

The joy of Kurisu, a man with a legit long career in both New Japan and All Japan, he was around during the start of FMW, during an important year of WAR, and trained guys like Koji Kanemoto. He's also a guy I don't believe I've seen footage of before the age of 40. Kurisu exists as this perpetually middle aged Japanese Randy Marsh, whose interests include chair shots and shoot kicking people in the face. Until There's a Kurisu is a foundation dedicated to raising awareness of the pain caused by chair edges to the back of heads.

Kurisu vs. Shoji Akiyoshi (FMW 12/10/89)

Good grief, Kurisu. I think we all use the words "destroy" or "nasty" or similarly animated words to describe wild moments in the wrestling that we watch. But this match probably belongs in its own category. Because it's basically just Kurisu kicking rookie year Jado in the face for a few minutes until he's actually knocked out. Now, there is other stuff. It's not some weird snuff film where a stationary camera just zooms in on a man's face as you watch life drain from his eyes. There is a competitive (sort of) nature to it. But no matter what happens, it always comes back to Jado getting kicking in the face. This is the type of desultory beating that could really turn somebody into a vengeful psychopath, something that could really alter you. You can picture Jado visiting elderly Kurisu like Vito Corleone visiting Don Ciccio. So yeah, Kurisu kicks face, and as Akiyoshi is selling being kicked in the face he gets kicked more in the face. He finally escapes to the floor, which just leads to Kurisu getting on the apron and kicking him in the face, pre-dating Trevor Lee by 25 years. Then he grabs a chair and literally just hits Akiyoshi as hard as he can with it, several times, and kind of leaves him for dead. Back in the ring, though, Kurisu gives him a little comeback. Akiyoshi locks on a crab and Kurisu actually sells his back nicely for him. Akiyoshi goes up for a missile dropkick (inexplicably going to the turnbuckle farthest away from Kurisu) and eventually drops him. But then Kurisu has had quite enough of that and goes right back to kicking face, with the final kick catching Akiyoshi right under the chin and legit turning off the lights. The craziest thing about it is Kurisu goes to pick him up for more of an ass beating, realizes immediately that he is picking up a corpse, and then makes a face like "oh yeah, that makes sense!" and pins him. The screen freezes and fades to black and white, and I was half expecting to see a "In Memoriam" graphic pop up for Akiyoshi. He certainly earned his long career with this one.

Kurisu vs. Jang Yong Wow (FMW 1/7/90)

Kurisu against a karate guy, in the opening round of a tournament. "Japanese indy scum vs. Karate guy" is pretty much a guaranteed source of pro wrestling joy, as I imagine almost all of the scenarios involved some guy from a local dojo offered money to fake wrestle once, and the person he's wrestling eventually flips the script and goes off page on him. And that's what happens. Wow throws some spin kicks in the 1st round, 2nd round is Kurisu being Kurisu: throwing the nastiest unprotected chairshots to an unsuspecting Wow (his reaction made it seem like he knew Kurisu would be hitting him with a chair, but something tells me the shots were explained differently to him than the ones he got blasted with) and then back in the ring he allows himself to be dumped on his head with a Saito suplex and lies there while Kurisu puts him in a half crab. This was clipped to hell, and the match never had that wrestler vs. karate guy moment where the karate guy realizes he's being fucked with, instead Wow just kinda rolled over and played ball. But damn those chair shots.

Kurisu vs. Matsunaga (FMW 1/7/90)

I wonder how the transition happened, when Matsunaga went from normal karate guy to crazy deathmatch guy. Is it like prostitution? You're looking for a way to make some quick money one summer, and the money turns out to be WAY better than you anticipated, and then pretty soon you're doing it full time, and then the drug use kicks in, and eventually some long haul trucker buries you out on Long Island Sound and a jogger finds you a year later. The death match money likely doesn't come close to a night of hooking, but it's somehow less dangerous. But I really am wondering if one day you're a karate guy and then they convince you to let Kurisu hit you with a chair and then a week later you're in a piranha tank with your gi hung neatly in your locker. If you had never seen 90s Matsunaga you wouldn't have given him a second thought in this match. He was very much a karate guy who didn't look like he knew pro wrestling. And he was clearly told the same thing Jang Yong Wow was told in the first match: "Throw some pulled kicks throughout the 1st round, then in the 2nd at some point Kurisu will hit you with a chair." I am operating under the assumption that they expected the chairshots because it looked like they were waiting and bracing themselves to be hit by a chair. Kurisu even makes them wait a little too long. But yeah, Kurisu eats some nice low kicks eventually catches a kick and kind of muscles Matsunaga over the top to the floor. And then you see it: Matsunaga lying on his stomach, knowing that this is when he gets hit with a chair. And Kurisu finds a chair, and literally walks around Matsunaga's body, craning his neck in to look for the most painful angle bounce a chair off him. And he finds it. Kurisu ends up teeing off golf style with the edge of a chair to Matsunaga's head, then gives him a few shots to the body....then grabs a couple more chairs and gives him a few more shots, and then rolls in for the count out victory. If I had to guess, Matsunaga knew "take a chairshot, get counted out". Something tells me he was not told there would be 14 chairshots.

Kurisu vs. Tarzan Goto (FMW 1/7/90)

This is the finals of FMW's weird karate fighter tournament, with all the lumpy scuzzy indy guys advancing. Goto comes into this with his ribs wrapped and his mullet all wooly and fluffed, and wouldn't you know it, Kurisu goes after Goto's ribs. Goto punches him out of the ring to start and then goes up for a dive off the top, and Kurisu ole's him right into the floor. Kurisu grabs a chair and begins doing his signature move, that being "hit opponents' tender spots with a chair at a violent angle, repeat". And that's the story of the match. Kurisu targets the ribs, kneeling on them, jamming his fists into them, at one point he is literally just leaning on Goto's taped up area. They also find plenty of time to headbutt each other. We get tons of moments of these two just looking each other in the eyes and clonking heads in painful ways, until Kurisu keeps deciding he's had enough of Goto's giant dome and goes back to kicking him in the ribs. Goto doesn't last long, whole match goes maybe 8 minutes. These kinds of matches can't go too long as they were just out there taking tons of shots to the head. If this was booked to go 20 they'd both be vegetables by the end. But it's definitely a mistake to go into a Kurisu match with something taped up. It would be like me walking through the Richmond BART station asking if anybody has any change for all of my hundreds. Onita comes out afterwards and he and Kurisu go at it, with Kurisu leaping at him off the apron with a chair. We get a bunch of still photos progressing the action, as though Chris Marker suddenly decided to make a poetic garbage wrestling documentary. And then I've never wanted to know how to speak Japanese more, as Onita cuts an insane, passionate crying promo backstage, just sitting there in his blue tiny trunks with belly bulging in white tank top, hunched over awkwardly, bleeding, and passionately crying. This is the kind of promo that can go viral. GIFs of his plaintive eyes can easily be inserted into any conversation thread. Crying Onita can become our Crying Jordan. Crying Onita has always been our Crying Jordan.

Kurisu vs. Onita (Barbed Wire Board Match, FMW 2/12/90)

I really liked this, but it's the type of match that I don't really think would play today due to the desensitization of death match culture. This is before the death match boom, and you don't get any guys taking stunt falls into elaborate weapon structures here. Instead, you get two men not at all dressed for a death match, actively trying to avoid falling into barbed wire. Death matches were still in their incubation period here. It would still be MONTHS before some weirdos decided to throw a cobra into a ring sealed by saran wrap or fight in the middle of a grocery store. So Kurisu and Onita wrestle in their normal trunks as the ringside area is completely covered in barbed wire boards. And these two insane men sanely do not want to land in the barbed wire. But they are vicious in how they each want the other to land in the barbed wire. Kurisu especially just jams his boot into Onita's throat to try and force him over the apron and into the wire. There are some great shots of Onita dangling perilously off the apron as Kurisu's outstretched leg pushed at his throat and jaw, forcing him down into the wire. And when he finally does fall into it, we don't get a modern back bump we've all grown bored of, we get a guy reacting the exact same way you or I would react if we accidentally fell into barbed wire. There's no rolling around in it, just a man trying to move as slowly as possible so as not to rip the shit out of his skin. Sheesh Onita is kneeling in it while trying to get his singlet untangled. His kneepads are not covering his knees. Personally, I hate kneeling on any hard surface, so I can only imagine how awful is it kneeling in barbed wire. Kurisu keeps kicking Onita into the wire, and in a great moment Onita finally catches Kurisu's leg and starts yanking him towards the wire. And man Kurisu does NOT want to go into the wire.

When I was 13 my mom let me throw a back to school pool party. It being a pool party, there were moments of meatheads throwing girls into the pool. My friend Brigit had just started her period and really had zero interest in going into that pool, but meatheads trying to throw someone in a pool LOVE resistance. They love the chase, they love the screams. They are monsters. Brigit eventually went into that pool, but man did she put up a fight on the way there. It took a few guys to drag a 115 pound girl into a pool. Kurisu held onto that bottom rope as strongly as Brigit held onto every damn thing she could get her hands on to slow down her eventual drop into the pool. Kurisu looked like a guy who had been promised backstage that he wouldn't have to go into the wire...and was realizing in real time that Onita was going to get him into that wire. Kurisu looked like a kid who had been tricked into going to the dentist, with Onita as the dad trying to drag him out of the damn car. Onita gets far more cut up by wire, Kurisu mostly avoids it by hanging on as long as possible and mostly falling underneath the apron, away from wire, and then taking his time to carefully get out of it. Again, he looked exactly how any of us would have looked in the same situation. And before long Kurisu is back on the apron and they're laying in shots to each other. The barbed wire stuff is amusing, but I like these two punching face. And we get some face punching, and Kurisu does a not recommended superplex. It looked like two people trying out a superplex for the first time. And then Onita decides to punish Kurisu for all of those shoves into the wire by just absolutely planting him with the thunder fire bomb. I mean vertically planting him. I wonder how many young boys watching secretly celebrated as Kurisu was just driven headfirst into the mat? It's not enough to stop Kurisu, so he gets another bomb for his troubles, and even then kicks out the as soon as the 3 is counted. Again this was a match that I don't think would go over today, but due to the personalities involved and the time it happened, I really enjoyed it. FMW was such a strange turning point in wrestling history.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 2 Workrate Report

I enjoyed the first episode last week so see no reason to not keep this party going.

1. Minoru Suzuki, TAKA Michinoku & Lance Archer vs. Shinsuke Nakamura, Tomohiro Ishii & Jado (3/23/13)

The above is a list of guys I like or even love, and Lance Archer. So I see that guy is still around, and still very much not good. This match seems pretty clipped down (end said 14 minutes but this barely goes 4), so we mostly don't see Jado. We do get a lot of Nakamura looking awesome and kneeing Archer in the face and stomach many, many times. I have still yet to be blown away by Ishii. Several friends whose wrestling opinions mostly match up with mine absolutely love Ishii, but he always comes off like a lumpy WAR guy with sub-WAR clotheslines and stiffness. His clotheslines and shoulder blocks and forearms look okay, but seem a little light for a guy built like a tank. Something just seems to be…missing. Hadn't seen TAKA in ages so that was nice, even if what we saw was mostly him taking offense, although I loved his high cradle majistral. And boy, Lance Archer. Even in limited time the guy just looked like junk. He's so unnatural in the way he gets in position and throws guys in turnbuckles or ropes. There is no subtlety with him getting where he needs to fall. Nakamura kicks him in the face but he needs to be in the turnbuckles and ends up falling diagonally to his side to get to them, in a way nobody would ever fall after being kicked. Later he needs to throw someone into the buckles, is out of position to make it look convincing, so walks all the way around him to properly whip him. There are just a shocking number of mini time stand still moments with this guy. Also, Minoru Suzuki booted the ring boy who held the ring ropes for him. I love that man.

After the match we get a brutal promo from Davey Boy Smith Jr. Awful stuff. Just clunky language and spit shouting.

2. Hirooki Goto vs. Kazuchika Okada (3/23/13)

Well this match right here is a pretty microcosm of why I don't typically seek out New Japan stuff. This was just junk. I actually liked the beginning leg work grappling, even assuming it wouldn't go anywhere. From there Goto dominated, until Okada just kinda decided it was his turn to go on offense. That's arguably my least favorite way to structure a match, when one guy takes a bunch of stuff up front, and then a switch gets thrown and the other guy goes on offense at full strength. The transition to Okada's control was real weak, as he takes a bunch of offense from Goto, then just reverses a whip and goes on offense, with Goto now suddenly having to sell a bunch. I guess he was tired from dominating Okada? We get to our forearm exchange that we all knew was going to happen, and then we take turns doing big moves until the finish, with Mauro Ranallo grating on every last nerve by screaming over the last 6 minutes of the match. Screaming does not make it epic. Rachel was in the room while I was watching this and she was laughing at how idiotic Mauro was sounding. We have a lame submission exchange with Goto barely making the ropes and using his last bit of strength to get there…but then after they break he just locks on his own submission. A lot of convenient selling in this one. Mauro reminds me many times that that's Fighting Spirit. We also get a real obnoxious muggy referee, cupping his ears and and flapping his hand in a "Bring It!" motion, just begging to hear a guy verbally submit. Bleeeech. Awful match. At least the Rainmaker looked good. I also liked Okada's reversal of the Goto shiki.

Well two episodes in, dug the first one, really disliked most of the second one. We get a throwaway clipped up 6 man and a horrible "puroresu EPIC". I enjoyed Mauro and Barnett on the first show, could not stand Mauro on this show. By the end of the Okada match he was unbearable. Fingers crossed for a strong third show.

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Dick Togo's Birds Eye View Got Him Channeling His Vision, Turns One to Two Now the Kilo Has A Sibling

Dick Togo/Men's Teioh/Shiryu vs. Gran Hamada/Super Delfin/Great Sasuke MPRO 1/14/97 - EPIC 

PAS: This is it right here. We start out with a more violent vibe then the traditional six man. Sasuke starts the fun by spin kicking Shiryu right in the sternum really fucking hard. KDX responds by taking it to the streets, and folks are getting hung off balconies and chucked into concrete walls. They get back into the ring and we get some truly breathtaking lucha. One beautiful exchange after another, I think Hamada v. Togo stood out for for me (man the arm drag Hamda pulls out was life changing), but all of the matchups were great. It ebbed and flowed, as multiple times they went to the floor and threw each other into chairs, and then went back to flying and flipping. Finish run was great as KDX did their thing, just decimating Sasuke with multiple big moves, ending of course with the portly man with goatee floating through the air 

Dick Togo/Ikuto Hidaka vs. Christopher Daniels/Donovan Morgan ROH 9/21/02 - FUN 

PAS: This is from the ROH tag tournament, in one of the earliest ROH shows. Match started out slowish, with a long heel control section with Daniels and Morgan (who should have been Team Receding Hairline). This was a little dull, although solid, but there was a reason that Morgan didn't have a long ROH run. Pretty much everything after the Togo hot tag was pretty great stuff, as they built a really hot finish. Hidaka looked especially good here, as I loved his spinning DDT into the rope choke. Togo pretty much stuck to his signature stuff, it all looked good, but watching all of this Togo I can tell when he is mixing it up, and he wasn't here. Still good stuff, and definitely got the crowd amped up. 

Dick Togo/Jado/Gedo/Katsushi Takemura vs. Jushin Thunder Liger/El Samurai/Wataru Inoue/American Dragon NJPW 11/30/03 - GREAT 

PAS: This is an elimination match worked with the same rules as all of the awesome elimination tags on the NJ 80's set. This match was cruising along at a mid range level for the first half or so. We got to see a little of Danielson v. Togo which is the most on paper intriguing match up. Danielson was pretty much doing his 3rd generation Dynamite Kid shtick, which really isn't the most interesting use of him. I did really like the Gedo v. Dragon stuff, they had really good chemistry. Still the match didn't pick up until we get some eliminations, and Jushin Liger decides he wants to be Abdullah the Butcher. The heel team removes the ringpad, but predictably it backfires and Gedo gets cut open on the ring bolt. Liger just goes nuts at this point, biting Gedo's bloody head, jabbing him with a spike, all of a sudden this pleasant little juniors match has gotten NSFW. After those two get eliminated we get to see Togo run throw his cool shit with Inoue, although the finish felt a little hackneyed. Still Liger as the Sheik is never going to get too big a complaint out of me. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE DICK TOGO

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SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!! 3/2/94

WE DECLARE WAR

Jado/Gedo v. Nobukazu Hirai/Masanobu Kurisu

Both Jado and Gedo had really weird hair. Gedo had the sides of his head shaved with a long black half mullet half ponytail, while Jado had hair like the guy from One Tree Hill who is directing Atlas Shrugged. This was pretty JIP, but I enjoyed what we got. Kurisu leveled one of the nastiest beatings I have ever seen against Jado on one of the early FMW shows, so I was hoping for that match up to pop more. Pretty exciting finish run, I am looking forward to some good Jado and Gedo during this project. This wasn't it, but it wet my whistle.

Koki Kitahara v. Kim Duk

This is definitely a JIP match I would have liked to see in full. Duk is such a nasty fucker, he throws these short little punches to the kidneys and throat which look like they totally suck. Kitihara throws a couple of sweet kicks too. Still we don't get enough of this to get much of a sense of the match.

Riki Fuyuki v. Arashi

Another pretty clipped up match I would have enjoyed seeing in full. This was a rounds match and Arashi is in a yellow mask and sumo gear. Fuyuki has the kind of weird charisma that can make this kind of thing work, and from the clips we got this was chaotic, heated and fun.

Ultimo Dragon/Masao Orihara v. The Great Sasuke/SATO

This had some really strong moments and good performances, but I just don't think these kind of matches are doing a ton for me in 2010. It went too long, even with a clip in the middle, and didn't feel like it had much of a structure. Just a lot of guys doing a bunch of things, some of the things are really cool, but it didn't build much of a coherent tale. I really like Orihara as either an underdog fighting through a beating, or a dickish asshole stiffing people. He can do both in one match and make it work, but here it felt a little like he was shifting back at forth randomly. Also Sasuke brutally blew the Sasuke Special #2 which ruined what had been an awesome dive train. Otherwise Sasuke was pretty great, as he really has a awesome overall shtick, graceful and crazy, as adept at quick lucha exchanges as lunatic bumping. Man is SATO (aka Dick Togo for yall that don't know) stellar too, such crazy agility for a stocky dude, he had the best dive in a match with Orihara, Ultimo and Great fucking Sasuke which is really something. Ultimo had some nice moments, I loved him dickishly breaking up a pin by kicking Sasuke in the eye Tenryu style, but he is still consistently the least guy in almost every match I see him in. I think folks will enjoy this, but I wanted it to be better.

We now get about 90 seconds each of Chris Jericho v. Super Strong Machine and Haku v. Mr. Hughes. From the clips I wouldn't have minded seeing more. Haku was just chucking Mr. Hughes around. DAMN YOU WAR EDITORS

Koji Ishinriki vs. Koji Kitao

Have no idea who Ishinriki is, I would assume some sort of shoot style guy by his boots and manner, but the name doesn't ring a bell. No matter as this is basically a Kitao sqaush, Ishinriki gets a takedown and works an armbar for a bit, but Kitao kicks him in the face and steamrolls him for a KO. Nothing to see here, keep it moving.

Genichiru Tenryu/Ashura Hara v. Atsushi Onita/Tarzan Goto

This match won the Tokyo Sports MOTY for 1994. That is 1994, the year of Misawa v. Kawada, Vader v. Takada and the Super J Cup. Still you watch this match and think "Yeah fuck a Misawa v. Kawada, this is it right here." Epic match with everyone playing their parts perfectly. Both Goto and Hara are awesome as the bruiser tag partners whose job is to beat on the opposing teams big hitter. Hara brutalizes Onita early with headbutts busting him open, while Goto cracked Tenryu with lariats, superfly splashes and a a face first piledriver on the table. Then they clear out and let the two megastars match up. The finishing run may not have been the smoothest wrestling I have seen, but holy shit are Tenryu and Onita pair of charismatic motherfuckers who know how to draw you in a match. Tenryu's selling was brilliant here, at about the ten minute mark of the match he gets caught with a big DDT from Onita, and he is never able to shake off that shot. He goes back on offense, hits some big moves, but he has this awesome thousand yard stare even when he is firing back. When he finally goes down, it is a huge monster deal, but I buy Onita getting the win, even without explosions. The main event interpromotional WAR tag is one of the greatest thing in wrestling history.

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