New Footage Friday: TANK! SE7EN! WAR GAMES! CORINO! TEDDY HART! BRAZO DE PLATA! CASAS! HEADHUNTERS!!

Brazo de Plata/El Dandy/Negro Casas vs. Head Hunter I/Head Hunter II/Mocho Cota CMLL 8/12/94

ER: This was one of those matches I knew I was going to write up the second I saw the listing. How could I not watch a match with the Headhunters opposite Super Porky? Oh sure I guess it also had Negro Casas, El Dandy, and some guy named Mocho Cota (who we definitely don't dive into every new match we come across), but this was always going to be about some legendary fatness for me. I wanted to see bodies smoosh together, and smooshing was what I got. Porky was a beast in this, really putting some strain on his shoulder by hitting at least a dozen western lariats on both Headhunters. My shoulder was killing me just watching him run his arm into these unmoving human boulders. I loved how relentless Porky was throughout, just running into these beasts with lariats, spectacularly sending them over the top to the floor a couple of times. I loved all the build up to the Headhunters getting knocked to the floor, with Porky getting bigger and bigger heads of steam, Casas helping him on one of them, and then a big triumphant moment in the tercera where he not only finally bodyslammed a Headhunter (something he tried a couple times in the primera to no avail), hit a big backdrop (I wish I knew the difference between Headhunter A and B, because the bigger one was taking some real huge bumps here), smashed one over the top to the floor with a lariat by himself, then leveled him with a tope en reversa off the apron. Porky even had the most impactful big splash of the match, which I was not expecting considering how much larger the Headhunters are.

Casas and Cota mostly stuck to each other, cheapshotting each other the whole time, Cota taking his spectacular quick exits to the floor (one of the finest wrestlers ever at quickly bumping from the ring to the floor) and culminating with Casas faking a nut shot while the skinny furball flips out in protest. The Headhunters were awesome, twin towers who made it count every time they left their feet. They built to back bumps well, letting Porky and Dandy knock them down with lariats, but always needing 4 or 5 to finally do the job. I loved their Doomsday Device to win the primera, a heavy ass clothesline/crossbody that looked like it flattened Dandy. We got an incredible spot where a Headhunter went up to the top for a ring punishing splash, but Casas started shaking the ropes until the Headhunter took this amazing bump onto the ropes, down to the apron and thudding on the floor below. I wish he hadn't just appeared on the apron again 20 seconds later, because the bump looked like something that would have taken him out of action the rest of the match. But whatever, this was everything I wanted, some of my all time favorite luchadors and some all time favorite fatsos. Of course you want to see this.

MD: What a line-up! I love the Cota vs Casas feud even if the final match doesn't quite live up to what you want it to be. True of the greatest characters in lucha history, maybe wrestling history. This has them with quite the cast of supporting players. Porky! Dandy! The Headhunters. All four lucha mainstays 100% know how to maximize who and what they are and who and what they have in the Headhunters. I love how Dandy and Casas use Porky a a weapon. It's so fun seeing them as partners in general. I love how Porky builds recoil into all of his spots against the Headhunters. There's such vile intent and attitude in everything Cota does. All of the press slams and power moves here by Porky and the Headhunters really hit too, including those surrounding the finishes, especially that in the tercera where everyone's so distracted by the big spot, including the refs and the cameramen that Casas is able to fake a foul and lie his way to victory. They still had a number of weeks to milk before the apuestas match here and this was a great way to do it.

PAS: Total murderers row of entertaining guys. Headhunters were really at their insane peak in 1994, and break out some crazy agile stuff for two blobs. One of the Headhunters climbs to the top and gets shaken off and takes a crazy bump on the top rope and to the floor, and they hit this incredible powerbomb top rope STO combo which should be stolen by every big guy tag team. Porky is so much fun against other big guys, he has to be the biggest chubster on the block and has a bunch of fun ways to attempt, fail and succeed to reign supreme. I loved his apron dive, it looked like the kind of thing an 8 year old kid would try on his bed. Cota is a scheming cretin and he and Casas are always magic together.

Steve Corino vs. Teddy Hart PWX 9/13/06

MD: The sort of match that launched a hundred indies. I'm pretty sure this was the PXW debut show, and it's certainly the feud they tried to carry forward. That, and the facts that Jack Victory and Ruckus were both out as seconds and that the original ref was chummy with Corino, meant you were going to end up with a lot of BS and no clean finish. What we got was good, and even some of the BS worked towards the narrative, a step up over what a lot of people would offered. There had been heated promos setting all of this up so they were ready to go from the bell. Hart pushed Corino. Corino slapped Hart. Hart bled from the mouth and shot bloody mist at Corino which was an insane visual. There was a visceral sense that despite that, Corino had goaded Hart off his game early on (though even pissed, he'd still do a backflip for no reason because that's how Teddy Hart expressed his emotions). He hit an amazing corner clothesline/punch and a dropkick through the ropes, but the latter didn't quite slam Corino into the guardrail and he was able to capitalize by pulling Hart off the apron. What followed was some high quality bullying control work and cut offs by Corino, right up until a too early ref bump. The BS that followed had a few too many moments of everyone waiting around for a dive but otherwise served quite effectively as Hart's transition into a comeback. After that came a bunch of pulling out of refs and a dubious submission (to a seated crossface style cobra clutch which is one of those things someone should steal), before Hart threw a temper tantrum and they set up more matches to come. The violence, blood, dives, and clever bits of structure in the midst of it all, probably led this to be pretty satisfying to the people watching, despite the BS surrounding it. And they were able to plug the website for the real result. Obviously, that only got PXW so far, but hey, this accomplished what it set out to do. 

PAS: I thought this was excellent. I really enjoy Teddy Hart spectacles (too bad he seems to be a monstrous person), and this had all of the horseshit and weirdness you would expect from Teddy at his Teddiest. The opening slap by Corino was super nasty and I assume the mouth full of blood was a work somehow, but damn was that whole section nasty. There were definitely moments that felt uncooperative, both guys were throwing back elbows like they were trying to crack cheekbones. I also loved Corino pulling out the fork and stabbing Hart with it, obvious shades of the Homicide feud and this may be the only time I have ever wanted a match to be a three-way dance. I could have done without the 500th iteration of the Montreal Screwjob in the finish, but this was a great start to what should have been a wild feud, if this fed didn't go under.

Team UNWA (Adam Jacobs/Tank/Adam Roberts/Will Owens) vs The Devil's Rejects (Shaun Tempers/Patrick Bentley/Se7en/Rufus Black) UNWA 12/11/10 - GREAT

PAS: Yet another Devil's Reject's War Games shows up on the internet. This one isn't tip top tier Reject's War Games, but these matches have super high floors. Tank is normally a Reject, but was on the face team for this match and just hits the ring stabbing everyone. I really liked his couple of big man face off's with Rufus Black and Se7en and he really added some flavor to a face team which was otherwise a bit samey. The big spots weren't as big as they are in other War Games matches, but I am here for the asskicking and stabbing and we had that in spades.  

MD: Phil and Eric have seen a few more indy War Games than I have, but it's really hard to get it too wrong. Heels get the advantage. Babyfaces start off strong and fiery. Then it alternates with logical transitions until it breaks into the big spots at the end. That's exactly what happens here and mostly everything worked how it was supposed to. I had questioned why Tank wasn't batting cleanup for the faces, but The fans were totally into Owens who did exactly what he ought to. The heels were able take over with weapons as much as anything else, which worked for me. There was good use of the cage right at the beginning (and the only other big spot being a Canadian Destroyer once the heels got the first advantage which honestly felt more like an insult than anything else) and then it didn't really come back into play until the end when people leaped off of it. The big dive was really to clear the center of the ring for the finish, which is a great use of it. Then the post match was everything you want from an indy, just a triumph that respected the stipulation instead of trying to screw the fans and milk out more. Good stuff.

Read more!

Monday AIW - Double Dare Tournament Night 2 11/5/16

PAS: So in classic Segunda Caida style, I watched night 1 of this tourney a year and a half ago, watched 80% of Night 2, and then it sat in our drafts forever. As part of Monday AIW I decided to finish off this review, and there is some fun stuff here.

Night 1 Review

Jollyville Fuck-Its (Nasty Russ/T-Money) vs. Massage NV (Dorian Graves/VSK)

PAS: Massage NV's gimmick is less rapey when it is against guys, although it is still pretty stupid. Once we got through their shtick and got to the Fuck-Its beating their ass it got pretty fun. T-Money was especially laying in the clotheslines. I wasn't really buying the offense of Massage NV when they had control, although their spot where VSK oils himself up and slides on Graves back into a headbutt is amusing. Finish was pretty great as T-Money nearly murders VSK with a pounce, great bump by VSK he honestly looked like he broke his neck.

ER: I dug this the whole way through. The comedy massage stuff was relegated to the beginning, and then we transitioned suddenly into the violent part of the program. I've never seen Massage NV, but I actually thought the massage stuff was pretty amusing. I don't know how much legs it has (probably not a gag I'm going to be chuckling at during my 5th NV tag) but I got a kick out of them working out T-Money's traps and doing some deep tissue work between the shoulderblades. Maybe it's just because my neck could use a good massage, and watching this is like going to Trader Joe's when I'm hungry. It didn't crop up at all when things got serious (outside of some oil), and I don't think it overstayed its welcome. And the actual tag wrestling we got was really good! Jollyville really laced it in when they finally went on the attack, and I thought NV held up their end. Graves did a great classic bulldog, and I loved a spot where Money missed a charge in the corner and Graves shot out of the corner to knock Russ off the apron. It felt like something the Fuck-Its would do and it was cool to see the tables turned on them. But not long after, T-Money was throwing lariats through them and hitting his big spinebuster, Russ hot tags in and is throwing even harder lariats and whipping VSK violently into a cool as hell spinning blue thunder bomb, all great. I was impressed by Graves throughout; his elbows packed a wallop and he threw his whole body into pinfall saves. VSK's oil slide headbutt was freaking great, he really lawndarted himself into Russ (little did I know what was about to happen). The actual finish was spectacular, Russ planting Graves with a tornado DDT to get him out of the ring, and a shocked VSK taking the absolute worst neck crunching bump off a Pounce that you've seen. He really takes it on the back of his neck, and there's no way someone should be kicking out of that.

Headhunters vs. Dr. Daniel C. Rockingham/Brian Carson

PAS: Short squash as might be expected. You aren't going to have the Headhunters work two long matches on one night. Couple of nasty chairshots and a big second rope splash call it a night. Headhunters v. Fuck-Its is the match I want to see in this tourney.

Team IOU (Nick Iggy/Kerry Awful) vs. To Infinity and Beyond (Cheech/Colin Delaney)

PAS: This match kept bringing me in, losing me and bringing me in again. All of the opening matwork by Iggy and Delaney was cool, as was IOU's double team beat down on Delaney. I thought Cheech's hot tag kind of sucked and the TIB offensive set was full of improbable double teams where their opponents end up suplexing each other. Lots of set up for not a ton of delivery. We had a pretty hot finishing run with Iggy killing folks, and then IOU ends up winning with a goofy "make a guy Canadian Destroyer his own partner finish. It had more I liked then didn't like, but I really didn't like the parts I didn't like.

Tracy Williams/Matt Riddle vs. Crazy Pain (Steve Pain/Gringo Loco)

PAS: When Riddle quit AIW he shit on this match, claiming the promotion jobbed him to "two luchas who couldn't work," but this was one of my favorite Riddle matches of 2016 and Crazy Pain were awesome in it. The match opens with Riddle hitting a flying armbar, and quickly all four guys throw on cool submissions with Riddle and Williams being more shoot and Crazy Pain being more llave. I also loved the story of Pain being a tough motherfucker and refusing to stand down from Riddle's big shots, and Riddle getting pissed that this guy is stepping to him. At one point Riddle eats a bunch of body kicks and hits this great flurry ending with a springboard rana, which he ripped off like he was Soberano or someone. Finish run is pretty dominant for Crazy Pain with them hitting a bunch of big double teams including this awesome move of Pain putting on a step over toe hold on Riddle, quebradoring Williams and holding him as Loco gives him a Demolition Decapitator, I have no idea how it didn't shred Riddle's achilles.  Match end with a clean win for Crazy Pain with Riddle getting Pain Killered on top of Williams. I was expecting this to be a bit of train wreck, but it was awesome instead.

ER: Yeah this ruled, a style clash that I never thought of but loved that it happened. I never heard the Riddle comments at the time, but I have to assume there were two different luchadors, because this was constant fun. I honestly have no clue what part/s Riddle would even be complaining about. I dug all of this. Williams rolling Loco around in painful crossfaces, Pain throwing strikes at Riddle until it kept inevitably blowing up on him, Pain throwing hard elbows but staggering around great to get caught by BroSauce's shots, throw in all the crazy double teams and this was tag mismatch heaven. Riddle's rope walk rana was impressive as hell (weird how everybody has an impressive landing on their flying when Steve Pain is the one whose feet are on the mat), we get a couple big dives to the floor (love Pain vaulting over the ref with a tope con giro), and Phil is damn right about some of the craziness of these double teams; that sequence ending with Williams getting upended by the Decapitation was flat out crazy, but then moments later Loco is vaulting off the top, onto a prone Riddle on Pain's shoulders, and coming off that with a splash on Williams (that isn't far off from him coming in vertically). This was a wild spotfest, a great clash that never crossed my mind as a possibility, the kind of thing that would have made me flip out the whole time live.

Flip Kendrick vs. Eric Ryan vs. Lucky 13 vs. Facade vs. Angel Ortiz vs. Mike Draztik

PAS: Fun six way scramble with three of the eliminated teams trying to one up each other with crazy moves. Eric Ryan was the highlight, taking way too many bumps and doing way too much for a throw away non-tourney match. He has a spot where he three straight topes on three different guys only to tope the ring rail ribs first with the fourth. He also smushes Flip's face with a huge double stomp and gets bealed over the top rope through a barbed wire board to the floor. Ryan is nuts. Kendrick gets the win with some flippy stuff. Nothing I will remember tomorrow outside of maybe Ryan being a loon, but it was a fine use of 8 minutes

Jollyville Fuck-Its (Nasty Russ/T-Money) vs. The Headhunters

PAS: I expected this to be a wild brawl, but it was actually a pretty deliberate Southern tag, with the Headhunters dominating Nasty Russ for a large part of the match. One of the Headhunters missed a second rope senton which let Russ tag in T-Money. T-Money gets a little offense including a great over the top rope tope, but then the Hunters took over again with chair shots. and a nasty Michinoku Driver on two folded chairs. Finish comes with one of the Headhunters missing a moonsault onto the chairs (totally nuts that such a fat old guy is still doing moonsaults) and then Russ hits a crossbody which gets caught and T-Money hits another and they get a banana peel win. The work in this was fine, and the Fuck-Its make surprisingly good underdog babyfaces, but I am not sure why you would book your tough guy team to get dominated by semi-retired fly-ins only to win like the 1-2-3 Kid. If the Headhunters wouldn't cooperate, book Horace Hogan and Crash the Terminator or something.

Team IOU (Kerry Awful/Nick Iggy) vs. Crazy Pain (Gringo Loco/Steve Pain)

PAS: This is a match where despite liking all four guys, I thought it fell a little short of my expectations. Crazy Pain were put over huge in this tournament, as they dominated much of this match too (which is a match structure which doesn't maximize what a pair of big bumping rudos do best.) I have mostly seen the Carnies work heel, so it is strange to see them work strict babyface, Awful is a pretty great hot tag, and I loved his Warriors Way style Earthquake drop. Parts of this just looked a bit ragged, although the structure was good, this was the best Loco's platform dive superfly splash has looked, he really lands on Iggy hard. I have a feeling this would be better now, as they would have a chance to iron out some wrinkles.

No Strings Attached (Alex Daniels/Gregory Iron/Marti Belle/Ray Lyn/Veda Scott) vs. Weird Body/Garry Baller/PB Smooth/Dick Justice/Space Monkey

PAS: I want to start with the positivity. Alex Daniels and Weird Body had some really fun exchanges, with Weird Body taking some really sick bumps on slams and a great looking discuss lariat. Outside of that stuff, this was a rough watch. Lots of borderline non-consensual spots with the Twerk Team, including Dick Justice jamming one Twerk Teams face into the crotch of another, gonzo porn isn't what I want in my wrestling, I guess I am getting to be a prude in my old age. Most of the match is guys cycling through all of their comedy spots, and a lot of the actually wrestling looked pretty bad, with some moves really whiffing. Maybe just fast forward to the Weird Body spots.

Shayna Baszler vs. Britt Baker

PAS: Man Baszler was so great so early. Her she is Fuchi mode for most of the match, twisting and pulling at Baker's joints and limbs, super nasty stuff. At one point she throws Baker to the floor, ties her calves up in the ring barrier, places the ring steps on her back and puts on a camel clutch. Baker gets a couple of spring boards, and some tetchy forearms which Baszler sells her ass off for, before falling to a rear naked choke. Baker was game, but I can imagine this match would have even been better with someone with better looking offense.

Crazy Pain (Gringo Loco/Steve Pain) vs. Jollyville Fuck-Its (Nasty Russ/T-Money)

PAS: This was a lot of fun, but kind of short, and it really makes me want to see a match between these two teams that wasn't a tourney final. First part of the match is all ringside brawling, and these are four pretty great brawlers. Pain and T-Money were especially heavy handed. There was a really cool spot where T-Money goes for his pounce and ends up hanging himself on the second rope, and some really nifty dives by Crazy Pain. It felt a bit abbreviated, as both teams seemed to leave stuff in their bags, but everything we got looked really good.

ER: This did come off short, even though it was 8 solid minutes of action, and I actually liked how fatigued the Fuck-Its came off. They came out selling a tournament's worth of injuries, Russ especially had some great zombie stagger throughout, even while on offense. I thought it played great. The crowd brawl stuff was fine, Russ smacking Loco with his inflatable middle finger before just punching him in the face, people getting tossed through chairs, Loco getting suplexed on the ramp, all done as tired guys who already hurt. Loco and Pain's flip dives were really impressive, super graceful with heavy landings while also looking totally safe. My favorite spot of the match was T-Money missing a Pounce but committing to it, flying hard into the middle ropes and recoiling. It was such a cool moment I wished they had saved it for part of the finish. Crazy Pain brought some mean stuff, like Loco hitting a missile dropkick to start Pain spinning on a blue thunder bomb, or double stomping Russ in the ribs to eat Money's knees on the big splash. Russ breaks out a dragon rana to the floor, which - c'mon, you guys are crazy - and then really gets whipped into the mat on Pain's powerbomb, then rolled directly into the Pain Killer. Russ took the PK better than anyone in the tourney, really getting crazy height and landing flush, looked like something that would finally finish two asskickers.

ER: Another AIW show, another AIW show that lands a couple matches on our 2016 Ongoing MOTY List. I think these two shows had the earliest Jollyville matches I saw, and it's fun looking back before they became my favorite team. The Catch Point/Lucha Base tag was fun as hell, AIW is fun as hell.

Read more!

On Brand Segunda Caida: Henry Godwinn vs. Bret Hart! Hansen & Vader vs. The Headhunters!

Henry Godwinn vs. Bret Hart WWF Action Zone 6/25/95

ER: This was great, a really fantastic Bret performance. I know it's kind of boring to like Bret, but I don't think the "has the same formula match" criticism is very fair as he was really great at working in cool moments and crafting things around new opponents. Godwinn is a big burly dude who more than holds up his end, really running into Hart with power and playing into Hart's own story build. Anybody who says this is a carry job is fooling themselves. Hart is working really fast in this and bumping big, taking three different nasty bumps into the buckles during the match (a fast one back first that look like it shook the ring, his classic chest first bump that he sold by crumpling beautifully to the mat, and a great turning point bump where he went into the ringpost shoulder first), but works everything here explosively, and Godwinn meets him. Dug all of Godwinn's strikes when Hart was foolish to go toe to toe with him, and loved Hart's nice headbutt to counter to big man. Hart even does a great crossbody off the ropes that he didn't always do, and a cool double clothesline spot that actually looked like two guys getting rung up on a clothesline. Bret goes after Henry's knee in cool fashion, and I like some of the ways Henry sells it, pushing up hard off his knee when he gets off the mat, and a great moment where he kneedrops Hart and immediately regrets it. And when Hart hits the ringpost we get a lot of Henry angrily wrenching in armlocks, all simple stuff but really effective in the match. Hart's comeback absolutely slays, with him hitting a huge lariat to send Godwinn over the ropes to the floor with a massive bump, with Hart immediately flying into him with a plancha and some of his best punches. There were so many simple things done so well in this match, the way Hart runs Godwinn in the ropes for a prawn hold but Godwinn holds on tight, sending Hart ping ponging fast across the ring. I loved this whole damn match, and now I'm really curious who were the potential bad dance partners for Bret.

Stan Hansen/Vader vs. The Headhunters AJPW 12/4/98

ER: What a silly little match. All Japan were such weirdos, having this strange contempt for deathmatch and shootstyle indies, but still occasionally using them to give us oddball matches. All Japan has always delivered weird fat guys though, and it's one of my favorite things about them. The Headhunters are two famous fat guys, two giant brothers who hit insane flying moves which immediately turned their knees into powder. But they turned that early fat guy buzz into an improbably long career, both of them long outlasting Hansen and Vader and somehow still wrestling today. I love All Japan bringing in these goofs for the RWTL, and even more I love Vader and Hansen refusing to actually believe that these two are in the RWTL. This is about as quick and tidy of a squash as you're going to see in AJ, with the Headhunters getting almost no offense, and the only offense they do get (a nice avalanche) is promptly ignored. No, this is Hansen and Vader having a contest to see who could drop a meaner elbow on two tubs wearing curly toed boots. Vader hits a standing splash right across A or B's (which is the smaller one?) collarbones, all the elbowdrops are GIF worthy, the fat Headhunter takes a fantastic bump over the rail and into the crowd after getting his butt kicked around ringside, the fat one misses a big senton off the middle rope, and 4 minutes in Vader blatantly signals at Hansen to wrap this thing the hell up, hit the lariat so we can go home. It's a weird match to have happened, it was treated like a weird match as it was happening, and you know it's special because how often - really - do we get 4 guys this large crashing into each other in a wrestling ring?

Read more!

LA Park will Draw a Pension if Your Daddy's Dead

La Parka/Psicosis vs. The Headhunters Tijuana 11/14/97 - FUN

PAS: This was really a three part match. The opening section has The Headhunters in full double Abby mode, just squashing Parka and Psicosis, stabbing them with pencils, ripping up Parka's mask making him bleed. That part lasted over 10 minutes which is really long for a one sided beating, there is only so much pencil stabbing one can watch and be entertained. The Parka and Psicosis comeback was really exciting with Parka hitting a spin kick, and four of his awesome enzigiris on one Headhunter and Psicosis hitting a Cactus clothesline on the other, totally insane pop from the crowd.  Psicosis hits his awesome flipping leg drop with a chair underneath for the pin. Third fall is mostly an exciting brawl, until the Konnan booking kicks in. Psicosis turns on Parka and he and Juvi and Damien attack him, until Konnan comes out and pretends to attack Parka before saving him and blah blah blah. Some of this Tijuana booking is such masturbatory nonsense. If this match had an editor it could be an all timer, still had some great moments though.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE LA PARK

Read more!

AIW Double Dare Tournament Night 1 11/4/16

After really loving AIW Absolution show this year, I got pretty excited that Powerbomb.tv was going to start putting up AIW shows. They didn't have anything from 2017 up yet, but this was a super intriguing set of shows from 2016 a big tag tourney full of fun teams.

Space Justice (Space Monkey/Supercop Dick Justice) v. To Infinity and Beyond (Cheech/Colin Delaney

PAS: Space Justice had their Chikara shit they had to shoehorn in, and it was pretty groan worthy. When this wasn't half assed junior college improv troupe stuff, the wrestling was pretty good. Justice is a really fat dude, he looks like a less athletic Ron Jeremy, but he looked pretty good doing some lucha exchanges with Colin Delaney, he also took a great looking bump on a Delaney dive. The finishing run had some nice fancy stuff, and ended with a double team Kudo driver on Space Monkey which seemed like way too mean of a finish for a comedy guy to have to take.

ER: I showed up to this party mostly to watch my boy Weird Body, but caught the end of this one, and Phil is right, that Kudo driver is WAY too nasty to use against freaking Space Monkey. They practically dropped him vertically, seconds after he was doing comedy Baba chops (and some surprisingly nice headbutts to the midsection). Dick Justice is fat enough that I probably need to seek out more of him.

Jollyville Fuck-Its (T-Money/Dirty Russ) v. Weird World (Worldwide Alex Kellar/ Weird Body Evan Adams)

PAS: One of the reasons I was most excited to dig into this show was to see more Fuck-Its, and they didn't disappoint. Weird Body is one of the oddest looking wrestlers in the world, he has this hesher hair and a famine victim physique, but being such a tiny guy he takes a huge impressive beating. Worldwide is a big dude who kind of looks and wrestles like a young Bugsy McGraw, and he basically uses Weird Body as a weapon. Meat of the match is the Fuck-Its laying a beating on Weird Body which is exactly what I want. T-Money does multiple violent bodyslams that feel like they might break him in half, at one point T-Money hits the pounce and Weird Body flies violently into the ropes. Really fun beating, great first round match from the Boys from Jollyville.

ER: This was really fun, Weird Body is just totally entertaining to me, for reasons I can't explain. Maybe it's because his body looks like the David Cross acid bath character in the Mr. Show Titannica sketch, probably more because I've always been drawn to the weirdos and the chubsters and the freaks in my pro wrestling. Now that Ellsworth is out of WWE, I can't think of anybody more worthy of a strange Gowen/Delaney/Ellsworth contract. I guarantee you Weird Body would get over in WWE. Bring him in, sell a few t-shirts, send him to 205 Live, quietly release him. Then someday Chikara will bring in Delaney/Weird Body/Ellsworth for their trios tourney. And yes, this match is what I wanted it to be. I have absolutely no clue how long Adam's weird body will actually be able to hold up to pro wrestling bumps. He has absolutely nothing except his skeleton to absorb the shock. I imagine there is a finite amount of brutal T-Money bodyslams he'll be able to take before his skeleton just shatters apart, ruining the lives of everyone in attendance. But until then, we get to see him getting pounced violently into the ropes and getting suplexed while atop another man's shoulders. Alex Kellar has preposterously small "over trunks", as if he stole them from Adams. He borrows his boy's trunks, he needs to do a better job of protecting him from savages like T-Money! T-Money really did look awesome, and I don't think it was because he mostly matched up with a guy smaller than any female wrestler. Money has a Chris Dickinson aggressive jerk vibe, smashing headbutts and full force. Weird Body has some fun offense, most of it ineffective due to his size, so you see him hit a crossbody with his opponent draped over the ropes and instinctively go OH! and then immediately realize oh wait he's 85 pounds. But no matter, this was a blast. Finish is great as Russ drops a huge elbow/senton off the top (like Izu's old falling meteor)on Kellar, and Weird Body bursts in with the save!! Which is a huge mistake, as T-Money then wastes him, and Kellar gets pinned anyway.

Massage NV (Dorian Graves/VSK) v. Twerk Time (Marti Belle/Ray Lynn)

PAS: Ick. Massage NV's gimmick is that they give unwanted massages to their opponents to unnerve them, so watching them work a team of women was basically Harvey Weinstein the wrestling match. Even worse, Twerk Time are part of Gregory Iron and Alex Daniels crew, so team inappropriate touch were the baby faces. No one in this match seemed particularly good at straight wrestling (Marti Belle was famously the worst part of the MYC) so the parts of this that were a standard match weren't good either. This was gross and I wish the OCD completist part of my brain allowed me to tap out after the first minute or so.

FBI (Tracy Smothers/Little Guido) v. Team IOU (Nick Iggy/Kerry Awful)

PAS: Lots of pre-match horseshit with Smothers coming out with a Cubs shirt and Cubs flag to taunt the Cleveland audience. Smothers is a master of cheap heat, and it feels like he is beneath baseball team cheap heat, he wasn't bringing his best. Smothers is clearly in the no bumps portion of his career, which is fine his chops and karate thrusts still looked good. Not sure why Guido isn't booked all over the place, he still looked really good and the initial takedown and grappling section with Iggy was the highlight of the match for sure. Match itself was about half as long as the pre game stuff, and was a fine but unmemorable use of all four guys. Looking forward to seeing what IOU/Carnies did for the rest of the tourney.

Tracy Williams/Matt Riddle v. EYFBO (Mike Draztik/Angel Ortiz)

PAS: This was an enjoyable tag. I was really impressed how good EYFBO looked when they were doing some grappling early, you would expect them to get smoked, but they both looked good. There was a longish beatdown section on Riddle with a bunch of fun double teams, including an insanely high cannonball by Draztik. There was some SAT memorial silly double teams, including a goofus looking romero special on one guy, camel clutch another guy which definitely was the result of some stoned late night brainstorming. Finish run was exciting including a brutal tombstone right into a German finish by the Catch point team. Didn't out stay it's welcome and had some real exciting moments. Good stuff.

ER: I really liked this, and liked how it kind of evolved out of a semi-joking around atmosphere (fitting in with the rest of the card) into violence, big risks and some big nearfalls. I thought the early wrestling was really good, haven't seen anything close to this interesting from them during their entire Impact run. And during the opening half we get a nice look at what a solid underdog babyface Riddle is. He's an amazing athlete but his athleticism can cause him to go overboard on offense sometimes. Here we get to see his athleticism putting over the attacks from EYFBO and it makes them look like credible threats. The (brief) comedy moments are kept during the moments where EYFBO is cutting off the ring, so the match never stopped for everybody to work a bit, it was instead worked in as heel taunting: Ortiz posing while throwing weak mocking stomps to Riddle, or breaking out several backrakes while isolating him in their corner (though on a show where Weird Body already did an electric chair backrake, we had already reached peak backrake). It all lead to a super hot tag to Williams (perhaps Fiery Hot Sauce?) that sees him sprint across the ring to boot Draztik in the face, then kicking at him until he's off the apron, and hitting a nasty back elbow on Ortiz. We get hot nearfalls, some awesome BroSauce double teams, a dope Ortiz tope con giro through the ropes that smashes Williams into the guardrail, Riddle's big splat senton, just a super hot finish. The match built nice and really exploded.

Crime Tyme (JTG/Shad Gaspard) v. Brian Carson/Dr. Daniel C. Rockingham

PAS: I am too old to get any nostalgic thrill out of semi-crappy early 2000s racist WWE gimmicks. This was fine, but if you are going to book the Gangstas, book the Gangstas not some ripoff team aimed squarely at the Trump voter inside of Vince. This had some amusing shtick from the student team who cheated a bunch, until Crime Tyme got pissed and smacked Carson with the hoverboard in front of the ref. I did like the part where they blew a leapfrog and JTG started potatoing Dr. Dan, outside of that it was very skippable.

Crazy Pain (Steve Pain/Gringo Loco) v. NES (Facade/Flip Kendrick)

PAS: Always happy to see Segunda Caida favorite Flip Kendrick, having two great rudo bases like Pain and Loco is a perfect fit for all of Kendricks fancy shit. Liked the early lucha rope running section, both Pain and Loco are crazy agile for portly dudes. We had a rudo beatdown, which including Loco hurling Kendrick in the air into a Loco cutter. Cool dive section with a nutso multi spin dive by Flip and a fun finish run, with the rudos really winning convincingly with Pain hitting the painkiller and slamming Facade hard on Kendrick. This probably maxed out as a fun IWRG opening tag, but I really like IWRG opening tags.

ER: This was a perfect vehicle for the super impressive lucha stylings of Loco and Pain. Both have big bellies and seem like they have only grown since buying their ring gear, but damn are they just as quick as any tiny flier out there. The rope running and armdragging to start was maybe my favorite I've seen all year, just gorgeous stuff and the kind of flippery I love. Facade is a guy I always forget that I like, as I see him on sight and immediately go "ugh look at this guy" but he brings big strkes from weird angles, really feels more complete than a lot of juniors. Also, tagging people's signs during his ring entrance is a genuinely cool touch. The flying in this had a nice dangerous feel to it, as after we get past the super fast armdrags and quick exchanges, we get into some daredevil flying, quick ranas (Pain and Loco take fast ranas perfectly) big power moves (that alley oop into the cutter Phil mentioned was insane), the whole thing was tons of fun.

Headhunters v. Lucky 13/Eric Ryan

PAS: Pretty shocked that the Headhunters have all four of their feet at this point, much less actually moving around pretty good. Lucky 13 and Ryan are deathmatch guys brought in to eat the bumps for the Headhunters and both guys get killed and bleed all over the place. Headhunters really weren't taking bumps, but they were getting hit hard with chairs, and one of them even takes a Van Daminator from 13. Hunters are still flying, with each Hunter hitting a tope rope splash and one of them hitting a splash off the ring apron crushing a plastic table. I have no idea where the Headhunters had been for the last 20 or so years, but for nostalgia guys they looked pretty good.

PAS: Nothing blow away from the first night, but all of the right teams advanced for the most part, and I dug the Fuck-Its beating of Weird World, lucha tag, Catch Point and the Headhunters. Very excited for night 2.

ER: I greatly enjoyed the matches I watched , and we decided that the BroSauce and Pain/Loco AND the Weird World tags deserved a spot on our 2016 Ongoing MOTY List. AIW delivers the goods, again.

Read more!

IWRG 3/26/09

PAS: After a too long 3 month hiatus, IWRG has returned. Arena Puebla undercards had been picking up the real lucha slack in its absence, but man am I happy to have it back. and along with our other full show feds (XCW-Midwest, IWA-MS, BattlArts and LGN) we will be reviewing it all here.

TKG: We were going to do full shows and this doesn’t actually feel like a full show. I think we are missing an opener but beggars can’t be choosers.


PAS: God Bless Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=1EA3D88F6D1F8C22

Freelance/Chico Che/Turbo v. Black Terry/Black Thunder/Captain Muerte

PAS: Any match with Freelance on one side and Black Terry on the other is going to kick ass, right there are two of the top 10 wrestlers in the world, they are going to deliver, and all you really need to make a lucha libre trios is one good technico and one good rudo. Luckily for us, the other four were bringing it too. Chico Che is a guy I remember enjoying in last years Battle Royal, but I figured he was just an opening match dude, a guy who could work an exchange or two with Judas El Traitor, but not some one you want higher on the card. Here though he looked damn good, agile, fun arm drags, nice fat boy tope, he looked like good tertiary Brazo, lets say Brazo de Bronce. I was also shocked at how awesome the Turbo v. Black Terry mat section was, as that is not something I imagined Turbo had in him, although that was clearly a bunch of Black Terry. I imagine that every week will be a running battle between Black Terry and Freelance for IWRG god hood, and I think Terry takes week #1. Freelance was great, his flipping Fujiwara to end the first fall was fucking great,

TKG: I’m not really comfortable with running battle analogy. Lucha trios are about how guys are positioned in the trio. There are captains and secondary guys, sometimes those secondary guys are the featured guys with an important story in the match and sometimes they are secondary figures who are there to shine the light on the guys in the important story. The real story of the match is that Turbo comes in with the new NWA lightweight belt and Black Terry wants to challenge for it. Everything else is filler. Chico Che and Capitan Muerte were the captains. For guy who by design isn’t supposed to be featured performer Freelance still is pretty great. Freelance has the coolest finisher to first fall, eats the nastiest finisher for second and does a large FIP section in third, still the match is built around highlighting Terry and Turbo. This is a pretty classically constructed match with some neat twists. First fall is all about Turbo v Black Terry technical mat sections that make you stoked for possible title match. They do some Black Thunder v Freelance technical exchanges where everytime Freelance gets Thunder in a hold Captain Muerte comes in to break it up leading to Chico Che coming in to stop Muerte. Thunder is a guy who works with Turbo a lot and is a guy who eats Turbos stuff pretty spectacularly (there is an amazing multiple Tijeras thing Turbo does around BlackThunder). He’s got some interesting ideas for offense that aren’t quite worked out. Captain Muerte looks like a world beater here as trio captain. He’s been through maybe four gimmicks since last time I remember seeing him look this bad ass. Your opening technical stuff is eventually broken up by an absolutely nasty Muerte mafia kick to Freelance’s back and a bunch of rudo two-on-one and three-on-one ass-whooping. You get a last minute change of momentum with Che taking out Muerte and technico comeback. Second fall is your faster fall starting with faces taking turns besting each of three heels in one-on-one match ups, which leads to more rudo two and three-on- ones. Third fall is all nasty brawling with Turbo and Terry matching up again, Freelance ends up working an extended 6 minute or so FIP section as the rudos go all Anderson bros quick tags on his arm and Chico Che gets super Robert Gibson indignant only to eat a face destroying second rope Alabama Jam when he finally gets in the ring. Still Freelance and Che were all secondary, everything about this match made me want to see Terry v Turbo for title.

Headhunters 1+2/Veneno v. Hijo Del Pierroth/Pierroth Jr./Arliquin

PAS: Man this was rough, like all 90's tape traders I always dug me some Headhunters, they were these guys who looked like twin Abdullah the Butchers and did crazy moonsaults into plates of glass, and that was back before you had lots of dudes moonsaulting through plate glass. Well shockingly being morbidly obese and doing crazy highspots ages you quick as they now look like a pair of slower and less agile Abdullah the Butchers. It was a shame, this was a plodding stinky brawl, there was an occasional nice punch by one of the Pierroth's but this was not the IWRG that excites you.

TKG: Really you’re going to complain about the Headhunters? Arlequin is right there. Arlequin is easily the worst wrestler in this mess and is a guy who IWRG appears to be pushing hard. He has been pushed as a heavyweight since the cage match where he lost his mask and he just sucks. He really works like a guy trained to wrestle by Shane Mcmahon or like he was inspired to become a wrestler by watching tapes of Shane. Although he doesn’t do the big Shane highspots, just the Shane Mcmahon midrange stuff and Shane Mcmahon level selling.

Fuerza Guerrera v. Offical 911

TKG: Freelance is seconding Fuerza and comes in wearing a DTU shirt. While I’d like to see Freelance v Jimmy Jacobs, I can’t think becoming involved with DTU is a good thing. I was kind of disappointed in this match. Maybe Fuerza v Official Fierro would have worked better, I don’t know. I’ve written before about how there are different ways to work different types of wrestling matches in lucha. This was advertised as a title match and it never worked for me as a title match. At some point in the first fall I kind of figured out that they were working this like a match that was being worked like a mano a mano or hair match that was building to big interference spots in the third. There is an inherent drama in a hair v hair match where something important is on the line, there is a level of “hate” and “bad intention” underlying in rudo v rudo mano a mano. This match was structured like those but didn’t ever feel like these guys had anything on the line or had any bad intentions. After the match is over Fuerza laid out a challenge for mask match or a superlibre rudo v rudo style duelo sin referi match and I’d be stoked for any of those things. This was a match that teased those things and made me want to see them. I don’t know if doing heatless version of match to set up the heated version really makes sense but whatever. This was perfectly ok and I think if this was a trios match worked exactly the same way with none of the other participants ever tagging in until the Freelance/AK47 finish I would have loved this. But this never really worked for me as a title match.

PAS: This was undoubtably a solidly worked match. Pretty good opening mat section, really nice second fall with Fuerza looking especially spry, and a fun third fall. However you really expect more from guys like this in a showcase title match. Really the only truly memorable thing in the match is the crazy Freelance dive, and I want something more to pop out at me with such great wrestlers. I really don't think Fuerza is at his best as a technico, and while I adjusted to technico Blue Panther and rudo Atlantis, virtuous Fuerza seem out of place. Although honestly I could be just looking for a reason why something with out obvious flaws, and that I was looking so forward to, fell flat to me

Read more!