My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Saturday Night 12/19/98

1. Glacier vs. Mike Sullivan

Glacier's back! And he's still not that good, but kinda better than I remembered him being. Mike Sullivan is also back, and he is even worse than I remember him being. And I don't remember Mike Sullivan at all. Glacier was weird as he really didn't bump much, and sometimes his offense looked good and stiff, and other times his kicks looked about as good as Eric Bischoff's. Here he threw some really cool jabs in the corner on Sullivan, really odd southpaw shots to the temple that looked really cool. And then Sullivan charged out of the corner with some of the WORST babyface-on-fire punches I have EVER seen. His fist was soaring right past Glacier's head, thrown at a 3/4 slot, so that his wrist was kinda grazing the side of Glacier's neck. Bleeecccch. But he bumped real big for Glacier's kicks and stuff, so...something.

2. Kaz Hayashi vs. Hole in One Darsow

Kaz has been one of the brightest spots of these shows, looking downright top 20 in the world in everything. But here he gets to do nothing. There isn't really a match. Darsow works the stick and looks awesome in his gold gear, and is pretty funny teasing the crowd. "Who's having fun to-NIGHT!?" *tepid response* "Yeah, I wouldn't like living here that much either." Golf challenge breaks down, Darsow is DQ'd.

3. Al Green vs. Wrath

Green did...not get much offense here. Wrath looks like the best possible version of Rocky Mountain Thunder. Wrestles like him, and looks like a really juiced version of him. Same haircut, too.

4. Chris Jericho vs. Booker T

Booker T was a guy that I liked in 1998, but it's pretty shocking in retrospect how bad and sloppy he looked most of the time. He has been one of the worst things about going back and watching this stuff. It's not just that he looks lousy most of the time, it's also that he was usually one of the bigger names on any given syndicated show, so his matches would get way more time. So guys like Kaz Hayashi would get 3 minutes, while Booker would get 8. Jericho looked really great in the first half of this, really getting into position nicely for Booker, and just having an insane amount of body charisma. Jericho was me and my sister's favorite wrestler in 1998. He just slayed us and this was dead smack in the middle of the top knot/kimono/Ralphus era. He was totally killing it here until Booker gassed and Jericho locked on a chinlock. AND LORDY was it a bad chinlock. Not one part of his arm was touching one part of Booker's neck. It looked like a guy posing for a picture with his arm around his mother. That happens for awhile and then Stevie Ray runs in for the DQ. Gross.

5. Barry Horowitz vs. Kanyon

Kanyon on the stick was so money. Like a bank full of money. Crowd was way into him here, and they were way into this battle of Jewish Faith vs. Homosinuality.

6. Kaos vs. Prince Iaukea

I weirdly enjoy both of these guys, probably more than most people. Iaukea seemed like a who would get good. There was always a moment in each Iaukea match where he would have a giant bump and you'd be like "This guy is going to be awesome" but then you realized you were saying that for like 5 years. High Voltage is a guilty pleasure of mine. I admit to always marking out for their springboard moves. And that's really the best part of this match, right at the end: Kaos hits a big springboard clothesline and Iaukea leans way into it and sprawls out all nasty from it. We rewound many times. I think this Iaukea guy is going to be awesome.

7. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Vincent/Bryan Adams

Well this match was fucking awesome. People are going to pull out the "pretending to like a shitty wrestler to sound kewl" card, but holy shit is Vincent one of the best things about this rewatch project. Dude makes total throwaway matches watchable, and he really steps up his game in bigger matches like this. He is responsible for holding this one together, actually. Benoit looked good and dished a beating, but the beating was made way more fun by Vincent stooging around the ring for him. He was really weird, in that he always seemed like he was playing a guy that wasn't really a wrestler. He's probably most similar to Stevie Richards, I guess. Neither guy really has any offense, but what they do they do really well. Vincent is such an anomaly in that I don't remember him being any good at ALL in WWF. I don't know when exactly he got good, but he is flat out awesome in '98 WCW. His control segments are great, as he dishes out tons of backrakes and clubbing blows. His clubbing blows are awesome as they aren't quite punches, aren't quite clubbering, but they land somewhere around the dudes neck/throat and look awesome. He bumps great, and always makes tagging in Adams a big deal, either by desperately scrambling to him or by cockily strutting over to take him in like "Yeah you know I was just beating your ass, now here's the big man." Match gets tons of time, gets some good nearfalls, and is a great Vincent showcase. Great stuff.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Saturday Night 7/31/99

Only an hour for this week's episode, which is lame, but this episode took place almost exactly 12 YEARS AGO!

What were YOU doing 12 years ago!? I was mere months away from starting college, and I'm pretty sure this weekend 12 years ago I was actually at my future college doing a Summer Orientation weekend, staying in the dorms and having to attend lectures and gay skits put on by the drama club about shit like temperance and bullying and how it's cool to make friends and be different, and how it's insensitive and hurtful to say that things are gay. All 500 or so Orientation attendees were in Sonoma State University's big Pearson Theatre, and all the lights went out and it was pitch black...and then "Total Eclipse of the Heart" started playing REALLY loudly. One lone spotlight shone on the stage. A member of the SSU dance club was in a black leotard, and she did an interpretive dance to "Total Eclipse of the Heart", just flinging herself around the stage while the spotlight struggled to keep up.

That was the longest 6 minutes of my life.

It was the most uncomfortable and awkward I had ever been. I would rather watch my dad cry for 6 minutes, with our foreheads touching.

It was just me and 499 other future college students sitting in the dark, getting a little bit tired of listening to the sound of our tears. And I still ended up going to this school.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Jerry Flynn/Hugh Morrus

This was a real nice 4 minutes. This was right after the First Family had injured Finlay (when none of us expected Finlay to ever wrestle ever again, let alone return 6 years later to take back his title of best wrestler in the world), so I expected Regal and Taylor to be out for blood and do a violent run-in, possibly allowing DC to get a sneaky win. But it didn't happen. I think I've determined that Tough Tom is the better DC member...but every match I always forget which one is Tough Tom. They're always changing their hair slightly or changing facial hair. Though the guy that threw a great punch in this match had "Tuff" on his pants. DC get a nice long control section against Flynn and cut off the ring, which is more than I was expecting. Barbarian cheats from the floor (while holding the hardcore junkyard trophy!) though and Morrus splats one of them with the No Laughing Matter. And then Flynn locks on the worst looking armbar ever for the win.

Mike Enos vs. Van Hammer

This was alllll Enos for the first 2 minutes and he worked nice and stiff against Hammer (including just leveling VH with a shoulderblock), but then VH just cuts to his finishing run out of nowhere and looks bored doing it. Enos tried to make Hammer's offense look good, but VH didn't really care if it did or not.

Al Green vs. Curt Hennig

This was not great, and Hennig just looked sluggish and off in it. Green took a nice bump off a hotshot, and this just wasn't much. Hennig stumbled twice just trying to do the Perfect Plex. Crowd was into all the Rednecks, though, who were all grinning at ringside.

Kendall Windham/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Misterio Jr./B.A.

Main event tag was an awesome 6 minutes. Kendall is the fucking greatest. His left hand seriously might be my favorite thing in recent wrestling that I've watched. Duncum has also aged really well in rewatch (his wrestling ability, not his "being alive" skills). He bumps really big and moves around with good purpose in the ring. Kendall and Duncum really bump around nicely for Rey, taking his offense in a way that does not look ridiculous (the way 6'6" dudes flying around for a 5'3" dude should look ridiculous). Eventually Barry and Hennig come in and beat Rey/B.A. down (Barry with the cowbell shot!) and then Swoll, Chase Tatum, and 4x4 (in his spaghetti strap camo tank top!!! I swear 4x4 is one of the most physically absurd guys I have ever seen. He's like 5'10" but 400 lbs., all in the arms and chest, and he always wears that damn tank top that looks like a tube top) chug down to the ring and the Rednecks bail. Awesome while it lasted. Kendall was seriously so damn good in '99, really carried himself like a total smug badass. Kendall, I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be, but you'll always be the boy who wanted me the way that I am.

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