Matches from WWE Crown Jewel 10/31/19

What an uncomfortable Halloween treat we were gifted by WWE! I'm going to go through and try to cherry pick a few matches before Monday's inevitable RAW Tribute to Mohammad bin Salman episode, featuring between match pre-tapes of guys like AJ Styles saying "You can tell how much the people over there really love him, and respect how much he does for them."

Brock Lesnar vs. Cain Velasquez

ER: This was like 2 minutes of a great Bloodsport match when it should have pretty easily been at least 8 minutes of a great Bloodsport match. There was a lot of crowd anticipation during all of the early grappling, Brock backing Cain into the corner and Cain trying to sneak in shots, people excited for the first blow that would actually cause one of them to pause. And when Cain landed a hard knee to the body and followed up with a perfect head kick, Brock sold it perfectly (as Brock almost always does, even in his frustrating matches) and the fans sounded like they were about to see Brock lose in a punishing upset. But, a quick kimura happens and that's that. Obviously this was a disappointment, as this was a singles I was excited for the moment it was announced, and I'm not sure what it would have taken for me to be satisfied with a 2 minute match. Is this it for Cain in WWE?

Cesaro vs. Mansoor

ER: This was my first time seeing Mansoor. He was a Bay Area indy guy who worked mostly for a fed that I don't attend, but I am a total sucker for a big regional babyface. This is WWE forcing a connection the same way they've always done, except the fans in Saudi Arabia are not as jaded towards pro wrestling and they respond to the whole thing as if Mansoor really is the superhero representing them all. Mansoor was the local being propped up for cheap pops, again, but the fans treated him like the Riyadh God and it ruled. Cesaro threw and bashed Mansoor in pretty spectacular fashion, and Mansoor takes some pretty gross bumps. This match might have the best possible version of someone getting their dive interrupted with a strike, as Cesaro completely shifts Mansoor's momentum with an uppercut during his tope, but Mansoor legit just toped into Cesaro's uppercut and dropped, looked insane. Later Cesaro swept Mansoor's legs while Mansoor was up top, and he took a tough back bump on the buckle before whipping face first down to the mat. It looked fantastic. Cesaro got to show off a bit, basing for Mansoor's headscissors and tornado DDTs, but best of all was him hopping to the middle buckle and deadlifting Mansoor from the apron, launching him with a tremendous Karelin throw. And it lead to a huge moment at the finish where Cesaro went to do a similar throw and Mansoor reversed it to an impactful sunset flip bomb. This whole thing was really good anyway, two complementary dance partners - Cesaro is clearly the perfect type of opponent for a wrestler like Mansoor - but seeing all of the kids in the building absolutely living and dying with Mansoor put this way over the top for me.

Braun Strowman vs. Tyson Fury

ER: So let me say that before he got brought in to feud with Braun, I had no idea who Tyson Fury was. I still don't. I don't follow boxing, I'm unsure what his significance is to Saudi Arabia (wouldn't it have made more sense to use him on a big UK show?), BUT - and this is a big but - I LOVE when non-wrestlers do wrestling. It's always interesting to me seeing their athletic skills kick in within a pro wrestling structure, and I think it provides a helpful barometer on the actual wrestler doing the heavy lifting. I think it's cool when wrestlers get to show what they can do opposite a limited opponent, see how good they are at highlighting any ability. But Tyson Fury did not do a whole lot for me. He seemed scared to bump, and scared to get backed too hard into anything. Braun seems to work a little more snug in the opening parts of this, and by the end he was backing way off shoulderblocks, so we would up with light shoulderblocks followed by Fury bumps that looked like me getting on the floor to do sit ups. Crowd was into Fury, and Braun did a nice job running around and making his offense look like more of a spectacle, building to a big moment where he ran all the way around the ring into a Fury drive-by kick (and Braun threw a great worked punch on the floor that Fury sold like he had an itchy beard), but Fury projected as very uninteresting for a larger guy. I would take any guy with the last name McCully over Fury.

Lacey Evans vs. Natalya

ER: This is pretty exciting, more so than other "first ever" occurrences, although Natalya's overdone "this is a big moment and I'm almost overwhelmed by it" facials almost ruined it. They're wearing full body suits, yoga pants, boots, and big baggy t-shirts, essentially dressed as "girl looking through Trader Joe's tea selection". The crowd responds well throughout, even though this ended up being pretty easily the weakest of their several match series. It didn't have the snap or violence that their best matches have had, the matwork didn't have the same uncooperative feel, but it did have a couple nice moments. Lacey had a nice slingshot dropkick that look like it took Natalya's head off, but there may have been some nerves at play from both, which is understandable. Things felt kind of trepidatious, different tone than their other matches.

Chad Gable/Ali/Roman Reigns/Rusev/Ricochet vs. Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre/Randy Orton/Bobby Lashley/Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: This wasn't much by WWE multi man match standards, though it played well as a big house show main event. I think this could have been special but they played it too down the middle: Not letting it unspool as a big chained spotfest until the end, but also not really isolating anyone to build to anything big. It just kind of kept churning until it stopped, though we got some pretty nice build toward the finish itself. The presence of Hogan and Flair was awkward and pointless. Hogan looked like he could barely walk as he shuffled to the ring, and the two of them just stood around at ringside barely even showing emotion. I also have zero clue what the Saudi Arabia fans think of the Rusev/Lashley angle, but the moments where Rusev was going after Lashley at least felt big, felt like a babyface really gunning for a heel (even though his big moment was basically interrupted by a Reigns superman punch). Fans were way into Reigns, and his big dive onto everyone was cool. I can't decide if I like or dislike Ali's RKO "block", because he blocks the move exactly like he takes the move. Yes, I saw that his head missed the mat and so I saw that it didn't connect, but his head never connects with the mat even when it lands. So visually it came off like him eating the RKO and then springing back to his feet. The "everybody chains together finishers" part of the match felt too rushed and came kind of suddenly, the layout on all WWE multi mans used to be much better and more satisfying. Also, and this is VERY important, Hogan looked like he was wearing his sunglasses as if he didn't have ears; his bandana appeared to be holding his sunglasses in place. And it annoyed me.